The Fire Within

Controlling Variables To Prevent A Perfect Storm

2021-04-14T05:00:00.001-05:00

I realized I use the term perfect storm a lot. I think of it when a complex set of variables all come true to create a low probability outcome. If any one variable had been different the outcome doesn't happen. The intended definition of perfect storm is a rare set of conditions happening. If it is supposed to be rare, I'm the unluckiest guy in the world based on the number of self proclaimed "perfect storms" I've been in.

So maybe they aren't all perfect storms, but they are negative situations. Situations that arise because of a number of factors lining up to create the situation. Looking back on those times it is easy to look at it and say, "If only one of those factors had been different we wouldn't be in this predicament."

Perfect storms hit us in all kinds of ways in our life. It doesn't have to be this monumental or impossible task to be able to track all of the variables to see the warning signs there is danger ahead. We say we only need one variable to be different to prevent a problem, so stop trying to identify all of the variables and focus on the few key ones.

Unity In A Group Can Determine Your Level Of Success

2021-04-09T05:00:00.011-05:00

Do you ever wonder what would happen if our society today was faced with a situation like World War 2? Would people of this time be known as the Greatest Generation part 2?

Do you ever wonder what our world would look like if large segments of the population at the time decided to not take the smallpox vaccine or the polio vaccine?

I have felt a downward shift in our society's unity over our lifetimes. Part of me felt like a crisis of the scale of COVID-19 might be a spark our society needed to unite us, bring us closer together. Then I read articles about the numbers of people not planning on getting vaccinated and the impact it could have to actually eradicate the disease. The longer it lingers the more it will mutate into other strains. There is a reason we see influenza come back every year, because a new set of strains run through our society.

Most people don't get their flu shot every year, and it is perfectly within a persons rights to deny getting vaccinated for COVID-19. I get there is a lot we don't know about the disease still, which is really what concerns me. We don't know what the long term implications of this disease. There are cases of long term residual brain, heart and lung damage. There are cases of long COVID where people are still having lingering side effects over a year later. Having a child with a heart defect it concerns me what the impact might be for her. Even if she reacts like she just had a cold, what long term damage might there be?

How we as a society react to this disease is going to have implications for many years. Any group, team, organization or business can learn from it in seeing how a unity of vision and a cohesiveness of the members of the team can impact the outcomes of the organization. One of my my core philosophies is a team of united individuals has a far greater chance of success than a disconnected group of all-stars. You can see examples of that everywhere you look. It is funny how some groups continue to not realize that if you give up a little of your self for the good of the team, the entire group will get farther than they would have if they only look out for themselves.

No Regrets From The Decisions We Make

2021-04-07T05:00:00.004-05:00

As many choices we have to make in life it is easy to find yourself living with regrets. You have the memories which pop up, making you wonder if you made the right choices. Saying, "if only" too many times.

Choices come up and sometimes we have to make quick decisions, with little information, hoping you have enough to make the right choice. Instantly second guessing yourself the minute there is no going back.

We all face choices, and with those choices we have to make decisions. In our life it is guaranteed that some of the choices we make are going to be the wrong ones.

Having three girls in various stages I witness first hand the choices they have to make, and know they can and will have an impact on the course of their life. We've all faced them in our lives, and likely continue to in some ways. Who to make friends with. Which activities to join. Which sports to play. Which classes to take. Where to go to college. What should your major be. If you should go to college. How to spend your free time. Which job to take. When you should quit your job. If you should take the promotion. Which city should you live in. Which house should you buy.

Once the decision is made, it isn't worth having regrets. If it was a mistake, then the decision on what to do next is far more important than spending any time regretting the choice that was made.

Springtime And The Hope Of A New Year

2021-03-31T05:00:00.005-05:00

What a difference a year can make. Last year in March people were scarred, there was a dark cloud hanging over everything. It was unknown how bad the future might actually get. And of course, toilet paper was impossible to find.

But a year later, hope is everywhere. It is spring, it is supposed to be in the 70's for Easter weekend, our daughters are returning to the stage for dance, we have avoided getting sick thus far and my wife and I have our appointments for our first dose of the vaccine. And of course, toilet paper is readily available in any store.

We are still a long way off from things being like they used to and this virus and the new strains have their risks that don't disappear. But the risks come with hope now rather than hopelessness.

I've talked before about how there is always some hope. Sometimes it is our responsibility to also manufacture some hope for ourselves, and for those around us. We all need hope, sometimes that is all we have left. Luckily it is always there.

Copying Is For Cavemen

2021-03-26T05:00:00.005-05:00

It is always good to learn from others. Seeing others successes and mistakes and learning from them to better yourself is how we continue to evolve as a society. Each generation building on the previous one. If we hadn't done that we would still be living in caves trying to figure out how to start a fire.

Learning from others is one thing, copying is something completely different. This falls in the same vane of just wanting to be given the instructions or the script to follow so you don't have to think for yourself.

I see this all the time in software development. The way the Internet is about anything you want to do is available as sample code that you can download and modify. There are entire applications whose source code is available. You can even download Linux and try your hand at modifying an operating system.

When everything is available on the Internet, it becomes super easy to just copy code to try and solve the problem you have. It makes total sense. Why waste hours writing something from scratch when there is something that will get you 50-90% of the way there?

The problem is the last 10%. Usually there is some sort of uniqueness in the problems we face. There are patterns and commonalities for sure, but the uniqueness is where the challenge lies. Because the code you are trying to copy isn't an exact match to your problem, you have to modify it. Change it enough to fit the picture you are trying to solve. Once you try to change it and you don't really understand what is happening, you won't be able to get it to look exactly as you want it, likely you will completely break it.

Copying someone else's work will only get you so far. Eventually you need to take what you've learned from others and build on it. Make it better. Solve a new problem. Be unique. If you like the design of someone's site you certainly can copy it, but nobody will be impressed if you're ecommerce site looks just like Amazon.

Throw Out The User Manual

2021-03-23T05:00:00.006-05:00

One of the biggest traps we fall into is needing to be told what to do. Managers like to create user manuals, employee training, and scripts on how to answer customer questions. This generally trains employees to follow the procedure and ask their manager when it deviates from the documented flow. What happens when it is a problem or question without a defined answer?

I was thinking about this with March Madness and how a basketball team draws up plays, yet great teams know how to stay within the framework of the play yet adapt to the needs of the current situation. Maybe the play is designed to drive to the lane but your opponent has a 7' tall center waiting to block your shot. Maybe the play is designed to hit your shooter beyond the three point line but he is having an off night.

In football a running back has a play designed to hit a certain hole in the offensive line, but if the defense clogs that up they need to find another opening to gain yardage. Every sport has a playbook. Maybe a team is so good they can run a play even when their opponent knows exactly what is coming, and it is successful anyway. Usually that isn't the case so you need adaptability in there.

In business, we need to stop thinking we should script out everything. Step-by-step instructions will be helpful in putting together Ikea furniture. The problem is it will look like everyone else's. If you are looking for a custom bookshelf to fit into a specific space, the basic concepts of a shelf are like what you find at Ikea, but you might need a craftsman to build something that fits exactly in the space you have.

We need to recognize when there are the right times to have everything spelled out for you and more often than not we just need a playbook. A starting point to make sure we are all on the same page, but something with the flexibility to adapt to the unique situations ahead of us.

The Highs And Lows We Face

2021-03-19T05:00:00.008-05:00

When things are going well, you feel great, your confidence is soaring. Confidence leads you to be more energized, bringing high energy usually causes things to go well. Positive energy is a real thing. The more you have the more you send out, the more it comes back to you. But as things are going well it is easy to fall into a trap. Feeling like you have King Midas' touch and you can do no wrong, you start getting cocky and missing things. You can topple very quickly from that mountain top you are on if you aren't careful.

When things aren't going well for you, you feel miserable. You feel like everything that can go wrong does. Your confidence wanes with every misstep and problem you face. You become hesitant, overanalyzing every decision and second guessing yourself, expecting your next decision to end in failure causes you to make none. You are caught in a spiral, trapped in a low pit with no way out.

Be confident not cocky. Humble but not timid. It is inevitable you will have highs and lows. It is important to not let the highs get too high and the lows get too low.

Partnership - The Often Forgotten Idea In Good Customer Relationships

2021-03-16T05:00:00.007-05:00

There is an old saying in business, the customer is always right. Ask anyone in business though and you know the customer in fact is not always right. The customer wants what they want, but that doesn't make them right.

Since that saying doesn't work people have tried to come up with ways of saying the customer isn't always right. A number of years ago I heard someone giving a talk and they said the customer isn't always right, but the customer is always true. What they tell you is the truth, or at least what they want you to believe is the truth. I've been in a number of interactions with customers where they state something wrong. It isn't always a lie, sometimes people forget. It might not be intentional but it isn't the truth so that can't be right either.

At the end of the day the fact remains the customer wants what the customer wants, and if they don't get what they want they can always take their business elsewhere. Does that mean a business should cater to whatever whims their customer has? Absolutely not. It is important for a business to maintain their identity, be true to who they are. Just like every individual should.

Maybe what we need is for more businesses and more customers to look at things like a partnership. Having the respect for the other party and realizing they need each other, and working together to build something better. As many choices we are presented with for any type of good or service you can imagine, everything you can buy can be considered a commodity. Customers and businesses both have choices. You can go after the lowest cost option, the luxury alternative and everything in between. You can be brand loyal or you can select whoever is the top of the line in your current buying cycle. Which type of buyer do you want to attract? Which type of buyer do you want to avoid like the plague?

When we don't look at things like partnerships, specifically long term partnerships, you inevitably find yourself in a race to the bottom. Being the lowest price option on the market. Seeking out the lowest price option to purchase. There aren't many business books written about how to be successful by racing to the bottom.

Strength Training To Carry The Weight Upon Our Shoulders

2021-03-12T05:00:00.006-06:00

Each of us have a certain amount of weight we carry. By weight, I mean our responsibilities, contributions to society, serving our families and workplaces. There are things each of us just need to get done. As a leader, you are in a position where you take on more weight.

As I was thinking about this my mind went to weight lifters, or any type of strength training. As people get stronger they are able to lift more weight. Take a simple example, doing push-ups. If you haven't done them in a few weeks, months or even years, the first time you try to do them, maybe just getting to 10 is a chore. Your arms are shaking as you push yourself up and you are astounded at how out of breath you are. But you keep doing them every day. Pretty soon your arms don't shake any more, you can crank out those 10 with no change in your breathing. You realize you can now do more than 10. So you push yourself and keep getting stronger. Day by day your total increases and suddenly you are doing 20, 30 or more. It doesn't happen overnight, it takes time to build up the muscle. We also all don't start in the same place, for some just getting that first 1 push-up is hard, for others who haven't done one in years can just drop and give you 20 with seemingly no effort.

The weight we carry in our world is no different. We are able to get stronger by exercising those muscles every day. Getting stronger to the point you can carry more weight.

What I see too often is how we want to take the easy way out, we want to see how much weight we can offload. What weight can I take out of my backpack to lighten my load. Statements like, "That's not my job." and "That is what they pay my manager to have to deal with." Those ideas don't make us stronger and it just puts more of a burden on others to carry what should be our weight.

If you only do 10 pushups every day, you aren't going to get stronger. You have to push yourself to the point where your arms start shaking a little and your breathing increases. We don't need to take the weight of the world on our shoulders, but we need to take on a little more than we usually carry if we want to get stronger. We need more strong people in the world.

Signs You Are Lazy At Leading People

2021-03-09T05:00:00.013-06:00

I will never deny being a manager of people is hard. When I say manager there are multiple jobs that fall into this category, not just the boss at work. Teachers, coaches, parents and mentors are all in the same group when it comes to overseeing, leading, guiding, and influencing other people. It is hard because every human being is unique and bring their own personality and baggage with them. But just because it is hard does not allow you to be a lazy when it comes to managing people. A lazy people manager does three things:

They don't have the hard conversations with individuals - They would rather address a larger group, in a passive aggressive way. Broadly pointing out behaviors they expect to change. The problem is when you address a group the people that most need to listen to it are thinking to themselves they are fine, and you must be talking to someone else. You need to pull the individual aside and let them know specifically what the expectations are and why they aren't meeting them.
They think being in a leadership position means you have to be harsh - We've all heard about tough love, and it is true there are times you have to be very straight forward. The goal in correcting someone is to have them improve, not tear them down so they feel worse about themselves. People need to hear the truth, but they don't need to hear it in a brutal way. One of my life versus is "Speak the truth in love." I have to remind myself as this is the area I need to work on more than any other.
Take out their bad days on the people they lead - We all have good days and bad days. When we have a bad day we are not at our best. We have a shorter fuse, we forget to take care of things we promised, and we communicate less effectively. It isn't fair to those you lead to give them less of an effort as their leader just because you aren't having a good day. When we have a bad day we can either pass it on and make more people miserable, or we can let it end with us and make sure nobody else shares our fate.

If you are in a position where you lead people, treat the position with the respect it deserves and provide the leadership and support those people lead they deserve. Learn, reflect, humble yourself, ask for feedback and let go of your pride to figure out how to get better and serve them better than you are doing today.

Overcoming Our Selfish Human Nature

2021-03-05T05:00:00.001-06:00

I truly believe human beings are incredibly selfish creatures at our core. There is something inside all of us that causes us to want to take care of ourselves first. There is probably something in our core as a mammal which makes us prone to a base flight or fight mentality. Of course we aren't surviving in the wild or being hunted, but it is still in our nature. You see it when we compare ourselves to others, it is that same base instinct coming out.

For most people, when they recognize they are being selfish the want to ensure they are not viewed that way. Doing the little things like saying please and thank you, acknowledging to others when we fall down, and helping others out counter balances our selfish impulses.

Two things come into play, causing us to show our selfish nature. One of course is the fact that we are selfish at our core, it is a base characteristic we have. The other is understanding when we are under pressure our base habits and traits come out. Pressure can come in all shapes and sizes, but one affecting so many of us is the amount of time we have. Once we have deadlines, long task lists and things we are forgetting, the pressure increases and suddenly we get short with people, unwilling to help them out.

Recognizing it when it is happening to us helps us to react in the right way to others, being more courteous than normal. Recognizing it when it is happening to others helps to make sure we are reaching out to them and offering help when they need it most. One of the best ways to ensure you aren't acting selfish is by doing something unselfish.

It Is Not About Being The Expert, Just Increase Your Expertise

2021-03-02T05:00:00.001-06:00

I was thinking about experts recently. One of the reasons it was on my mind stemmed from the COVID situation and how much we think about what the experts are saying. We desire experts to provide us all of the answers and to never be wrong. Many are frustrated because different experts and "experts" have made different claims on how things will go over the past year, and they are continuing to make predictions for a go forward plan. Chances are no prediction that is perfect, some are closer than others, but it is impossible to predict the future. Yet when it doesn't happen like you expect the expert gets ridiculed.

Being an expert does not mean you have all the answers, you just have more than most of the people around you. I see this at work, for myself and for others. At my company I've become the so called expert on a couple of platforms. The main reason is because I was the first person to start working with them so I simply have the benefit of having a head start. I won't claim to be the expert because I continue to learn things every day. There are also others in my company who have knowledge in the platforms I don't. It doesn't feel like I'm the expert.

It isn't just me, there are experts throughout my company who are way smarter than me on any number of subjects. We are a company of experts because everyone has their own niches of expertise, just like I have my two platforms.

It is interesting to see what happens though when someone is held up as the expert, how others start reacting differently. The thought begins to manifest, since we have an expert I don't need to learn anything about a subject. If I need an answer I'll just ask the expert. People stop trying.

You don't have to be an expert to develop your expertise. It makes you better and it helps improve the experts knowledge as well. Because no expert, no matter how many answers they may have, has all of the answers. You might be the best person to help the expert get to even higher levels, maybe even becoming the expert yourself.

If I've learned one thing in my life, the smartest people in the world are that way because they are more interested in learning than they are about being the smartest.

Passing The Last Test Doesn't Mean You Don't Study For The Next

2021-02-25T05:00:00.001-06:00

Just because you passed the last test you aren't guaranteed to have the same success on the next one. Yet you always have winners that get cocky. The hare stops to take a nap because it expects to win, and we know how that turned out.

I see this in dance with my girls, they often compete with others groups from our own studio or see the same studio and dancers at another competition. How they placed last time doesn't mean anything. You have different judges and different levels of performance.

Finding success in the past should encourage you though. You know that you are capable of doing it, just need to recognize it isn't guaranteed. You still need to put in the work and effort that got you there last time. You might need to do even more because this time the competition recognizes you are the defending champ.

Nothing in your past guarantees anything for the future. Past success doesn't guarantee future success anymore than past failures have no indication on if you will be able to succeed in the future or not.

Take the lessons from the past you need to, but then leave it in the past, keep your focus on the future.

Better Electronic Communication And Trying To Not Be That Person

2021-02-19T05:00:00.018-06:00

I hate email. Which is kind of unfair, because my real issue is any type of communication when it is inefficient. Today we have so many different methods of communication. On a typical day at work I will get messages in email, Teams, Slack, Basecamp, three different service desk ticket systems, project tickets and issue logs. Every tool has its purpose and value. I work in a world with different clients and vendors who all have different preferences and tool sets. I don't really mind it. What never ceases to amaze me though is the number of times I will get a message in one medium asking if I saw a message in another.

Now, to be fair, I'm probably just as guilty as the next person. I can recall sending a Teams message to a developer asking if they saw the update in Basecamp and if they need me to create a Jira ticket for it. That is insane.

Here are the rules I try to live by to hopefully make sure I'm not adding to the problem any more than is absolutely necessary.

Other people are busy too. - My thing is important, and I want to get it done, but everyone has their own tasks they need to get done. People aren't just sitting around waiting for me to send them a message so they can react to it, they have their own work to do.
Related, their priorities might not be the same as mine. - Not only are they busy, but their priorities probably aren't the same as mine. Just because I really need to get a task done, doesn't mean it is the most important thing for them.
Anything can wait 24 hours - Of course I want an answer right away, but usually things can wait a day. There are critical tasks, like the site is down, but not everything is urgent.
It is okay to follow up - Things get lost and forgotten after a couple of days. All the new messages flooding in can push something down your inbox. I find that friendly follow ups to bump something up to the top again can be helpful. People really don't want to forget about something, but it happens because we're all human.
Get good at spinning plates - One of my most used analogies is about how it isn't about juggling, it is about spinning plates. You know the act where they get the first plate spinning, then move on to the second and the third, then when the first plate starts to wobble they go back and give it a couple of turns to keep it going, go add a fourth, go back to 2 and 3, etc. It is a model for how to work. I don't believe in multitasking, you can't work on 2-3 things at the same time. You can work on one task until there is nothing more to do, then put it aside, move on to the next one while you are waiting for reply's.
Use peoples free/busy indicators on their calendar. If you need to schedule a meeting and you can see the times they are available, send them an invite for when they are free. People are smart and if they have something they need to block their calendar off for they will. I don't need to send them a message saying they look open at a particular time, is that a good time for a meeting.

Communication is a good thing, we just need to make sure we are using our tools to use everyone's precious time as effectively as possible.

The Lost Art Of Constructive Criticism

2021-02-17T05:00:00.005-06:00

Back when I was in school, we often did this exercise where we would have to review a fellow classmate's work. We were taught how to point out things they do well and to share our thoughts on something that could be better. Constructive criticism is what we were taught that was. How to tell someone that something needed to be better without making them feel bad.

I think we've lost site of that as a society. It seems like if you on one side you are not allowed to criticize anything. If you are not touting it as the greatest thing ever, perfect in every way, then you aren't a true fan. On the other side, if you are against something you have to shout from the roof tops that it is the most wicked creation that has ever existed on this planet.

Of course I'm thinking some about politics, but maybe politics is just reflecting the state of our society that we react this way over everything. Employees aren't allowed to criticize anything about their work. Teammates can't say anything about another player that isn't doing things to the standards the team has agreed to.

When you love something, you can point out ways for it to be better. When you don't like something, you can find things and acknowledge what is good. Learning how to speak and share about those things in a way that doesn't make the recipient hate you is the key. We need to get better at listening to feedback and we need to get better at giving it.

Darn it if my teachers didn't actually know something after all.

The Dichotomy Of Emotions

2021-02-12T05:00:00.004-06:00

If you've been a reader for some time you know how I love the idea of dichotomies. Things like how often our greatest strengths can also be our greatest weakness. Recently I've been thinking about emotions at work and how they are both a positive and a negative.

There are many sayings about not taking things personally and getting upset. "It's not personal, it's just business." What a load of crap. Tell it that it isn't personal to the small business owner when the big box moves into town. Tell that to the person that just got passed over for a promotion they've been busting their tail for. It is virtually impossible to not react emotionally in those situations. In my career I've had every emotional state. I've felt anger, joy, jealousy, boredom, happiness, pride, ambition, fear, surprise and disgust.

It is good to be passionate, but you can't become so overzealous that bumps in the road consume you. You can't be so frustrated that you miss the ideas on how to make it better. When things upset you, make you angry, you want to vent about it, stomp up and down and yell at everyone how you aren't going to take it anymore. Maybe you don't go that far, but I guarantee you find a friend that will lend an ear to your complaints.

It is good to have emotions. Get upset, be happy, show some crazy enthusiasm when you get some good news. The people I can't stand working with are those that are apathetic. They don't care, come in, punch a clock, and figure out how to do as little as possible without getting fired.

The key isn't to show no emotions at work. The key is knowing how to not let your emotions control you and how you react. Recognizing when you are angry and needing to take a step back to fix the problem making you angry in the first place. The challenge though is when you are emotional it is hard to recognize you are emotional. This is why we need to be a part of a team. Have those friends and colleagues on your side who can point out when you are letting your emotions run away from you. Which means you need to be there for them, recognizing when they are in need of a friendly reminder to take a step back and really assess what is going on.

There is a curve in which our passion and emotions get us energized and getting through the ups and downs in life, but then they plateau and become more of a hinderance to us than a helper.

Overcome The Obstacles In Your Mind

2021-02-09T05:00:00.005-06:00

We all face obstacles, every day. Part of why I look for things that inspire me is because it gets too easy to focus on the things blocking our path rather than the things making us believe we can get over the obstacles. No persons obstacles look the same, but we can learn something by watching others and how they handle their obstacles. Even when they don't look like ours it could give us ideas on how to overcome them. Part of why I like studying a broad array of subjects is because there are always lessons to find and apply elsewhere.

I've done that a lot with dance. Having three daughters who dance tends to dictate the amount of time you spend talking about and watching dance. You learn stories and then you see things that jump out at you, like this clip of a young dancer.

Dream your dreams.

Live your dreams.

Best thing you’ll see today... pic.twitter.com/Mt8fbPCcps
— Rex Chapman (@RexChapman) February 4, 2021

Watch the clip again and think about whatever the problems are you are facing. I've said before how the main person holding us back is usually ourselves. The obstacle you think is in front of you is mostly in your mind. There are real outside obstacles, but once you believe you can overcome it you have a real chance at actually finding a way.

Internal And External Competition - Where Is Your Focus?

2021-02-05T05:00:00.005-06:00

I live in a very competitive house. My wife and I don't really play games together because neither of us like to lose so it tends to get a little too tense. Being great parents and all we have passed that competitive spirit down to our kids, who all stomped off after losing in a kids vs. parents Pictionary grudge match. My girls also dance so they have had it ingrained early from their very first dance competition. Competition is just a part of life.

Competition is funny though because it can be a good thing, but if taken too far or not looked at correctly it can become a problem. You see on any team you have internal competition and external competition. For instance in sports, you have competition on a team where you have to see first who is going to make the team, then when you figure out who your starters are going to be. So the competition is also your teammate. When you are teammates you then need to work together to beat the competition. Whether you are the starter or the backup, you are united in a goal to beat the external competition.

The problem we see far too often is we tend to expend more energy on internal competition and not enough on the external. When all of your focus and energy is spent comparing and competing with people who are supposed to be on the same side as you, you find there isn't enough left in the tank or you become far too distracted to look towards the external.

Great leaders, managers and coaches are those who can find a balance. They need to know what a healthy level of internal competition is in order to push people to continue to improve. But also know how to keep more of the focus on the external competition. Remembering to never let the internal competition deteriorate your team.

We have the competition part down in our house, now to just make sure they understand which competition is the most important. We'll see how we are progressing on the next game night.

The Perception Of Time With The Passage Of Time

2021-02-02T05:00:00.001-06:00

I read an interesting fact posted by @chrisderose about the show The Wonder Years, which premiered 33 years ago in 1988. The show depicted events 20 years earlier in 1968. A similar show today would be set in 2001.

His tweet about this blew up because it is crazy to think about. I, like so many, remember watching that show growing up and it seemed like it was based on events from so long ago. It makes me wonder, did my parents recall those events as easily as I can recall events like 9/11 or the hanging chad of Bush vs. Gore?

I was thinking of music the other day when I realized I was listening to the "oldies" station playing music from the 80's and 90's. I remember growing up listing to music from the 50's and 60's, I spent some time searching for a station that played that era of music and I couldn't find one near me. You could find a channel on Spotify or Amazon Music of course, Alexa would serve it up for me no problem.

Things change as does our perception of time. In 1981 it was 40 years from the bombing of Pearl Harbor, 1981 is 40 years ago from now. I was 12 years old when The Wonder Years came on, and the 60's and Vietnam War seemed like distant historical events. Ask a 12 year old today and I'm guessing 9/11 seems about as far in the past.

Turning Busy Into Something More Valuable

2021-01-26T05:00:00.005-06:00

We are all busy, so busy we miss opportunities to do the things that will really add value. We all have things filling our day which feel like the make our lives more hectic, and in reality most of them we likely don't need. But we do them anyway.

They are put there either by others or by ourselves. It is easy to complain about the things given to us by others. The report you have to write or the project you need to take care of. You often wonder if anyone actually looks at it, would anyone notice if you just didn't do it.

Then there are the things we create for ourselves that make us busy. Nobody is forcing us to do them, but it is important for us to do them for whatever reason we believe.

No matter the source of the task, the hard question always needs to be asked about the value of a task. Maybe it is a task that doesn't seem important but it is like pushing the button on Lost every 108 minutes, if you don't do it catastrophe could follow. But if there is no value in the task, no matter if it comes from yourself or someone else, if there is no value you need to have the conversation about what needs to change. When you start having those conversations, then real value is discovered and a task is either eliminated or its value becomes clear.

Great Leadership Is Based On Emotions

2021-01-22T05:00:00.005-06:00

I've been reflecting on leadership recently. There are lots of definitions, quotes, anecdotes and stories about what good leadership looks like. We often speak of it in the simplest form as the person in charge. But we all know that isn't where it ends because it is easy to spot people that are in charge but are not good leaders. If you asked people to expound on what leadership means they would likely say things about someone who inspires, motivates, creates a vision, helps people grow, and communicates.

For all the words and ways we have to explain what leadership is, it is still one of those things which is very hard to describe. There are so many definitions used, or often times the descriptions are vague. Yet everyone knows it when they see it. I think it is because leadership is more of an emotion.

Think about it, if you had to describe what happy or sad mean, you end up using other emotions to describe them. If you are happy you are joyful, excited, the opposite of sad. Those emotions don't give a clear understanding of what happy is, but if you look at a person you can usually tell if they are happy or not.

This is why leadership is somewhat hard to describe, yet everyone knows it. They know it because they can feel it. You likely have an emotional response when you think of good leaders or bad leaders you've interacted with in the past.

If you are in a leadership position, or want to be, the most important thing you can focus on is how you make people feel. I understand the old adage about how you can't please everyone, but your goal isn't to find out how many people you can weed out. The goal should be to figure out how many people you can get on board. The teams that win championships have everyone united. Even if you have 90% of the team thinking the same way, including all the starters, you greatly reduce your chances. What do you think the odds are for teams split 50.01% to 49.99%? They have no chance of finding the success they ultimately say they want.

For many, when you start getting into the emotions they don't want to deal with it. They like dealing in facts and logic. Emotions are messy, they are harder to understand and work with. Which is precisely why good leadership is hard to find.

Balancing The Views And Reception You Have Of Feedback

2021-01-19T05:00:00.014-06:00

We all know that it is good to get feedback and of course there are two types of feedback. There is the positive stuff, the things people tell us we did well. When they are proud of us and slap us on the back for being great at something. Then there is the negative feedback. What all of us say we are open to hear but never really like. The things we didn't do so well. Where we need to improve. The hard truth on the thing we most want that is never going to come to fruition.

It seems like today things are either too soft or too harsh. We get soft when we coddle people and dance around the hard truth just because we don't want to hurt their feelings. On the flip side there are the people that don't seem to care at all about anyone's feelings and will say whatever they are thinking.

When we are the messenger it is important to try to deliver the information with as much care as possible, but at the end of the day it is far more important to the receiver to hear the truth. We need to hear the hard truth some times if we are actually going to be better.

Just remember to never let the positive feedback go to your head or the negative feedback get to your heart.

A House Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand

2021-01-15T05:00:00.005-06:00

The words of Abraham Lincoln have been ringing in my ears for some time now, "A house divided against itself cannot stand."

The words spoken were brought about because of the divide in our country over the topic of slavery. Our country was divided from the colonial establishments in North America where the slaves were first brought in 1619. The practice grew and after the Revolutionary War, were we fought for our freedom, stipulations were drawn around what the term "all men" in the Declaration of Independence really meant. The Three-fifths Compromise was added to the Constitution. Some of the the most revered men in our countries history were flawed humans, like we all are, who made wrong decisions though they felt they were right.

Our country grew but the division was still there. People turned a blind eye, or fought to make things right, or compromised while justifying their actions in their minds but not in their hearts. Then in 1858 Abraham Lincoln spoke these words.

A house divided against itself, cannot stand.
I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free.
I do not expect the Union to be dissolved - I do not expect the house to fall - but I do expect it will cease to be divided.
It will become all one thing or all the other.
Either the opponents of slavery will arrest the further spread of it, and place it where the public mind shall rest in the belief that it is in the course of ultimate extinction; or its advocates will push it forward, till it shall become lawful in all the States, old as well as new — North as well as South

These words were spoken by Lincoln over 160 years ago, and it was true, the house that was divided didn't stand. And though the Civil War was the climax of the story, it was by no means the end. The division remained through the Reconstruction era, Jim Crow laws, the Civil Rights Movement, and still persists to today. The division today has even taken on new forms as exist between Democrat and Republican, rich and poor, and the uneducated and educated.

To rid ourselves of the division that exists in the world I look to the example of the story of Jesus. He walked the earth and cared about everyone he came in contact with. Some of the most vilified people of that time - prostitutes, tax collectors, Samarians - were the people that Jesus showed compassion towards. We all need to show compassion to everyone that we come in contact with.

Our country was built with a government system that could grow and change. While it was founded under the concept that "all men" referred to only adult white males as the ones that got to vote, the laws have changed so that every citizen of this country has the right to vote. While there are many who think this shouldn't be the case, the law still stands. As the law has changed, our view of the words "all men are created equal" should be easily understood to include all people. Everyone is created equal and have the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. If you try to justify who that is actually supposed to include or not, that is where the division starts in an individuals mind and heart. When individuals are divided a nation becomes divided. A nation divided against itself, cannot stand.

Expecting Better Of Something Doesn't Mean You Hate It

2021-01-12T05:00:00.007-06:00

Anyone who is a parent has probably had a time where they had to tell their kids they did something wrong. You reset expectations, say you are disappointed, and explain the behavior you expect. At no time do you ever stop loving your child.

It is interesting how often today, if you are in a position of not agreeing with a decision or action you are automatically viewed as the enemy. If you are a fan of a sports team and don't like the decisions the coach is making there is a potential for people to attack you because you aren't a true fan.

In politics, no matter if you are conservative, liberal or moderate, if you criticize you are unpatriotic. If you don't agree with something your employer is doing, people want to know why you still work there.

Just because something isn't perfect, or not living up to the expectations we have, doesn't mean we love it any less.

We can demand better from our government leaders and still love our country. We can criticize decisions by a coach or team and still be a fan. We can question businesses' operations and still be a customer. We can disagree with managements direction and still be a loyal employee.

Sometimes saying, "Do better" is simply that, a request to do better. Too often all anyone can hear is "I hate it/them". Nobody on this planet is perfect. We are all capable of doing better. We should expect better of each other and we should expect better of ourselves.

Many Great Ideas Are Not An Overnight Success

2021-01-08T05:00:00.001-06:00

One of the biggest shows on Netflix this year was The Queen's Gambit. It is a fascinating story about a child chess prodigy that has you on the edge of your seat watching the various chess matches. It is said that 62 million people watched the show, which quickly became an overnight sensation.

I love hearing the stories behind getting this show made as it is a great reminder of the realities of the world. As phenomenal of a show as it turned out to be, it took almost 30 years to finally get made. I can only imagine the feelings of the studios and others that passed over it or weren't able to get it made have after seeing the success it has had.

There are countless stories like this out there like this. Look at J.K. Rowling, she was rejected by 12 different publishers before someone took a chance on Harry Potter.

There are two lessons here. The first, if you are in a position where you hear different ideas, it is important to be as open minded as possible. Nobody knows what the next best thing is until it becomes the next best thing. That idea which seems like a crazy thing that will never work just might be something special. Second, if you are the person with the idea nobody seems to like, it doesn't mean it isn't something worth while. Perseverance is a quality often in short supply, we tend to listen to the rejections and naysayers too often and we miss out on the opportunities to bring more great and original things into the world.