Before I share a conversation I had in Bendigo, I want to say that I’m not disparaging Bendigo or its citizens.¬† But, if you are an American who travels, you get pretty tired of hearing how we are cultural imperialists who know nothing about the rest of the world while everyone else on the planet is open-minded and shockingly well-informed.¬† And then you have a chance encounter in Bendigo that gives you something to say back the next time some (insert name of country) native tells you how dumb and insensitive Americans are. So, here I am at this ultimate frisbee tournament.¬† We played four games under a cloudless sky in relentless heat and then went out to party afterwards.¬† Great times ensued at a Bendigo pub (cannot remember name) where I had my first Jagerbomb.¬† But, since we had to get up to play the next morning, a group of us decided to head home.¬† And while I hate to admit it, it takes a while to round up girls.¬† We are difficult to herd. Everyone has to say goodbye to multiple people, multiple times.¬† There are trips to the bathroom.¬† On the way to the bathroom, someone makes a new friend, etc.¬† So, I’m outside with my friend Solange waiting for everyone else to catch up when a group of local guys approach us.¬† They ask where we’re from and I say, “Melbourne” but they say, “No, but where are you really from?” And I say, “How do you know I’m not from Melbourne?” And of course the thing that gives me away is the “r”, dammit! ¬†The “r” just gets no respect here in Oz so¬† Melbourne is pronounced “Melbin.” If you pronounce the “r”, they know you’re a foreigner.¬† So, I say, “Okay, I’m originally from the U.S.”¬† And I get, “Oh, I love America!¬† What part?” And I say, “The east coast, a city on the east coast.” ¬†And a guy says, “Where?” ¬†And I say, “Guess.”¬† And he says “South Dakota?”¬† But, it gets better.¬† Then they ask why I am here.¬† And I say I came with my husband for his job.¬† Now, of course, they know this isn’t going to go in the direction they were hoping.¬† But, they are nice guys so they cannot just leave immediately.¬† So, they ask where my husband is from and I say he’s originally from India.¬† And (sort of weirdly) they start trying to guess his name.¬† One guy says, “Is his name guru?” And I try not to double over.¬† And then another guys says, “Is his name Sachin Tendulkar (the name of India’s most legendary cricketer)?”¬† And I am just about in tears (of joy) because after a fantastic geographical blunder they are now engaged in the most lovely racial/ethnic stereotyping ever ( “Oh, your husband is Indian. Is he a respected religious leader or a famous cricketer? “) ¬†Plus, to date, Akhil has avoided the inevitable – a nickname. ¬†Everyone in Oz has nicknames because Australians just don’t like to waste time with your entire, given name. ¬†But Akhil doesn’t play a sport and that’s kind of the fastest way to get a nickname (hence Jen-O). ¬†And he’s too senior at work so his co-workers haven’t given him one (at least not one they’ll say to his face) ¬†So, Akhil was nickname-less until that fateful night in Bendigo when (at least in my mind) he became “guru.” ¬†Feel free to try it on for size next time you email or IM him

This St Kilda Penguin checks out a lady penguin on the next rock

Yes, you read right.  There are penguins in Australia. They are classified by the scientific community as Eudyptula Minor and by us as adorable .  And as luck would have it, when the sun goes down, they like to hang out at St Kilda Pier which is about a 15 minute walk from our apartment.

Hundreds of these tiny, fairy penguins come to relax, to flirt, and to make babies on the breakwater along St Kilda Pier, originally constructed to provide a safe harbor for yachts for the 1956 Olympic Games.¬† The first of these fairy penguins found the breakwater in 1974 and they liked it so much they told all their friends and now it’s a penguin sanctuary, making it illegal to “harass or handle” a penguin there.¬† By day, these penguins frolic and feed in the bay but nighttime is the right time and when the sun sets they clamber over, through, and around the rocks of the breakwater, puffing out their little penguin chests so far you think they might topple over.¬† As they stick their chests forward, they stretch their wings back in what I imagine is the penguin equivalent of flexing your pecs or wearing a low-cut top.¬† As they posture and pose, they also make this very distinctive call to one another. Many of them doing this together is very, very loud.¬† And also very funny. ¬† I really cannot describe the sound but here is a link to a recording someone made of it so you can experience it for yourself http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:20091121_Little_Penguin_calls_at_St_Kilda_Breakwater.ogg

These penguins are at once dignified in their black and white with their proud chests and ridiculous in their rather ungraceful waddling.¬† While I am sure they are nimble in the water, they frequently slip and tumble as they try to move amongst the rocks.¬† And you can kind of imagine the sorry penguin who approaches a potential mate only to topple over.¬† “Hey, little lady, I’ve spent a long day hunting tiny fishes and I’d just like to kick it with you for a whi-oooooooooool (sound of falling penguin) “Nope, I’m good, thanks.¬† Just gonna waddle away now.”

Akhil and an old school Melbourne tram

Since we decided to live car-free for our first year in Melbourne, Akhil and I rely on the city’s public transportation system.¬† Like any major city, there are plenty of people in Melbourne who swear their public transport is the worst.¬† And they have some legitimate gripes.¬† But, love it or hate it, Melbourne’s system is unique because it has the world’s largest network of trams.¬† While other Australian cities replaced trams with buses by the mid-70’s, Melbourne stood by her trams.¬† And with major cities all over the world struggling to cope with gridlock, now Melbourne looks pretty smart.¬† Trams enjoy exclusive lanes on many of Melbourne’s main streets so while cars are at a standstill, trams breeze by.¬† That said, trams are plagued by congestion of a different kind – the crush of bodies on a tram at rush hour.¬† Tram operators don’t linger at stops and if you are on a crowded tram and not fortunate enough to be near an exit, an “excuse me” will not suffice and a light touch will not plead your case. You will have to push and shove your way to a door.¬† At times, the experience is what I imagine it feels like in a rugby scrum with all kinds of force being exerted from all sides but no one really getting anywhere.

However, when you travel during off-peak hours, the trams are delightful and a great chance to get a feel for the city as you glide along the rails.¬† You can appreciate the bold geometric shapes and colors of new architecture mingled with the graceful pillars and curves of old mansions and civic buildings.¬† You can enjoy the distinct qualities of the different neighborhoods – from Chapel Street’s crammed-together cafes and boutiques, to the tree-lined expansiveness of St Kilda Road, to the mix of suits and tourists, jockeying for space on the streets of the CBD.¬† And tram journeys are made even more delightful by an iPhone app called TramTracker.¬† TramTracker let’s you find nearby stops, gives you real-time updates of tram arrival times, and best of all, offers an “onboard” feature.¬† When you board the tram, you enter it’s 4 digit ID number and TramTracker locates the tram you are on and basically follows the progress of the tram as it travels, so you know exactly where you are on the route and can easily see how many stops are between you and your destination.¬† When you are going somewhere new, it takes a lot of the stress out of the trip. And during rush hour when you are so packed in amongst bodies that you cannot see out the window to enjoy the view (or figure out where you are),¬† it’s TramTracker to the rescue, telling you where you are and helping you calculate how long you have to plan an escape route!

I Enjoy a Tram Ride on a Rainy Melbourne Night

In addition to allowing you to see the sights, trams also bring together a great cross-section of the city and provide terrific people watching (and listening) opportunities. For example, this is part of an actual conversation I overheard on a tram:

Aussie Girl:¬† The people who live upstairs are japanese so they’re very quiet.

Aussie Boy:  Do they do origami and shit?

And although you often have little or no interaction with tram operators, occasionally you get a surprise like a recent Friday night tram driver who somehow channelled the smooth, deep voice of Barry White through his compact, 50-something Asian frame.¬† When we approached a spot on the tram route with a few curves in the road, he warned passengers that they might need to hold on, purring “it’s like when you do the sambaaaaahhh – your hips swaaaaaayyyy side to siiiiide-ahhhhh”. ¬† Later, as two women alighted from the tram in a residential area he cooed, “It’s tooooo earrrrly to go home.”

So, What Can You Tell Us, SmartGuide?

A few years ago, the trains, buses, and trams of Melbourne were unified under the umbrella of Metlink.  Seems like a good plan to more seamlessly integrate public transport so customers can easily go between rail and tram or tram and bus.  SmartGuide kiosks (like the one pictured here) were even installed at some tram stops to help you plan your journey.  Akhil and I noticed them one night and decided to use one and that is when we realised that the SmartGuide was, well, not really that smart.  And in some ways, the SmartGuide that cannot give you a schedule is a good metaphor for public transport in Melbourne as a whole.  There are great successes (like TramTracker) and good intentions (like SmartGuide) but also perplexing failures, like Myki.

Myki is a bright blue and yellowish green plastic card that (according to the brochures and posters plastered all over the trams) is the “key” to your transportation happiness.¬† It will make your smile brighter and your waistline slimmer and your quips wittier (okay, they don’t actually¬† promise that, but you get the idea).

So, the government’s idea was to phase out traditional paper tickets and get everyone to use cheery plastic Myki cards which can be continually recharged or “topped up”.¬† Sounds simple, right,?¬† Even fun?¬† Why, yes, good sir, I would love to top up my card!¬† Well, somehow what started as a great idea became a tangled mess with allegations of mismanagement and corruption in the awarding of the contracts to create and roll out the Myki system, and massive delays (bids were awarded in 2005 and a system that was supposed to be in place by 2007 is only now semi-operational)

For the government, one big problem is that Myki card readers are temperamental and their are “black holes” on certain tram routes where they simply cease working.¬† This complicates things because of the way you pay to ride a tram. When you board a tram, it’s basically an honour system.¬† As you board, you are supposed to make your way to the machines that process either the old paper cards or the new Myki cards.¬† These are two different machines and they are usually attached to the railings near the tram doors.¬† The paper ticket readers typically work quickly and easily.¬† Myki readers‚Ķnot so much.¬† It often takes several swipes for the system to “read” your card.¬† Not such a problem during off-peak hours.¬† But, remember the rugby scrum of rush hour?¬† Well, good luck getting to a machine and establishing your position in order to and swipe your card (multiple times) while the scrum pushes you forward and back. So, revenue is lost every day.

Myki Ad - their smiles mask their pain.

For riders, the biggest problem is the calculation of fares.¬† I guarantee that not a single smiling, relaxed person in those ads for Myki (pictured right) has ever tried to calculate the best way to store money on the card.¬† If they had, those bright smiles would be replaced with perplexed frowns and furrowed brows (and they might also be brandishing pitchforks). Basically, you can put your money in different accounts on the card depending on how often you use public transportation and what kinds of trips you take.¬† Then, depending on which account you have chosen, a fare is deducted for your trip when you scan your card.¬† In order to decide what account best suits your needs, you have to read A LOT of fine print.¬† I personally read through the details at least three times and I concluded that I wanted to keep buying paper tickets, because I understand how they work.¬† But wait‚Ķthere’s more.¬† Dizzyingly, if you want to hedge your bets, you can store money in different accounts and when you scan your card, the system is supposed to recognise the best deal and apply that fare.¬† Great!¬† Except this is the same system that can often barely manage to read your card.¬† I mean, if it can’t read, is it really ready for math?

Hmmmm, you say?  You suspect you are smart enough to determine how to allocate your money and strong enough to fight your way to a machine and patient enough to wait for your card to be read?  Well, great!…you are ready to be a Myki user.  Oh, one small thing.  You also have to pay 10 dollars for the privilege of having the card.  What??!!!!

Akhil (sucker) insisted that we be good citizens and get Myki cards, so, we did. But, as a reluctant Myki user, I confess to a certain amount of civil disobedience.¬† For one thing, I thought it outrageous that we had to pay 10 dollars for cards.¬† So, over time, I have quietly “forgotten” to pay for a few trips that conveniently add up to that 10 dollars. In addition, I make three good faith attempts to scan my¬† card when I board.¬† But, if the system fails three times, I consider it a free ride.¬† With all the sales taxes levied by the government, I feel like we can call it even

A succulent from ZenFX in St. Kilda

So, while we wait for our ship to arrive with a few framed photographs and pieces of artwork that will make our apartment feel more like a home, I have been trolling Melbourne’s markets and Salvos (Salvation Army stores) for something unique and affordable that would provide a little color and whimsy to balance the hyper-modern glass and high design of our apartment.¬† First, I thought, we need plants!¬† And since we are in Melbourne, I decided to indulge my love of succulents (think cacti, aloe, agave) which grow really well in this climate.¬† Succulents have always fascinated me because they come in such an array of colors and shapes and they have this sculptural quality that I love.¬† So, I found a local garden store run by a Chilean mother and son who also run a Bonsai school. ¬† The mother helped me pick out some plants and then I found some colorful pots at the Chinese Supa store. ¬†I arranged (and then re-arranged) them around the apartment. But, still, something was missing.¬† And then, quite by accident, I found the missing piece at the Chapel Street Bazaar.¬† The Chapel Street Bazaar is a paradise for the “trash and treasure” seeker.¬† It is a maze of¬† tightly packed stalls crammed with¬† painted biscuit tins from France and carved wooden chairs from Kenya and a giant plastic Marilyn Monroe and miniatures of famous “footy” players and‚Ķin Stall 8‚Ķa beautiful, slightly worn, carved wooden statue of Ganesha from Bali.¬† One of the things I love about the bazaar is that there is no hovering vendor watching as you dig through and around and over and under the heaps of items. It’s a sort of collective where every stall simply has a number and you pick out what you want and then go to a central counter where you pay and are issued a receipt.¬† So, you can wander and dig and never have to make polite conversation or feel like you’ve wasted some vendor’s time because if you’re not going to buy that stuffed owl you should put it back and move on, dammit! ¬† So, I was having a browse and wandered past Stall 8 and saw a sign that said “Everything 50 % off – one week only”.¬† The sign had its intended effect and I wandered in.¬† The items were mostly wood, from delicate japanese boxes to large sturdy tables.¬† And hidden behind several items and facing away from me, I spotted a carved wooden statue.¬† I had to sort of shimmy and squeeze my way up to it and then kind of wrap myself around a table to extricate it but it was worth the effort because soon I was holding a two-foot, hand-carved wooden statue of Ganesha, a Hindu god of special significance in south India where Akhil was born.

Ganesha, for those of you who have never seen an image, has the head of an elephant and the body of a human and sometimes has four arms.¬† Although depictions have changed over thousands of years, Ganesha is often shown with his trunk curving left, seated on a throne or dancing joyfully.¬† He often has a large, round belly and coupled with his elephant head seems very friendly and approachable, almost goofy (in spite of the weapons he is sometimes waving in his four arms) But, Ganesha has some pretty serious powers.¬† He is worshipped as the “remover of obstacles” and is associated with either placing obstacles in your path when you get too full of yourself or removing obstacles when you have the grace to ask for help.¬† He is also associated with art and learning, particularly with writing.¬† And “he” is sometimes depicted as a “she” since gender is much more fluid amongst hindu gods and goddesses, representing not biological sex but masculine and feminine aspects of our nature.¬† And, ladies, wisdom is a feminine aspect!¬† This Ganesha is different than most I have seen as he stands upright in a very strong and stately manner, like a confident warrior, but he cups his trunk in his hands very humbly. Really, there is something about the way the artist sculpted this Ganesha’s hands cupping his trunk that radiates grace – almost as if instead of you making an offering to Ganesha, he is making an offering to you.¬† I sort of fell in love. And at 50% off , we could afford it!¬† So, I brought Akhil back a day later and we agreed to take it home where it now stands in front of the white column that divides our living and dining area, welcoming visitors.

Ganesha and I plan our next move

So, now we had the “remover of obstacles” in our home.¬† And I did not want to abuse his powers – I just wanted help with a few small things like removing the obstacles to us getting wired for home internet.¬† Or the obstacles that apparently have kept the ship with all of our stuff from arriving in port.

So, first to the internet.¬† Because we do not want or need a home phone, what we are trying to get is something the Aussie’s call “naked DSL”, meaning we do not bundle phone and internet.¬† There is no fiber optic network here (apparently, they’ve just now realized it would be a good idea to have one so they will begin building the infrastructure soon‚Ķsigh‚Ķ)¬† Currently, DSL is the fastest available service.¬† Like many countries, Australia used to have one government run company, Telstra that provided all services.¬† The marketplace has now been opened up to competition but, much like Verizon in the U.S., the competitors all have to use Telstra infrastructure.¬† So, that complicates things.¬† And if you want to go “naked”, for reasons I don’t understand, it is more complicated (why is it always more complicated to do something simple?).¬† We did some comparison shopping, contacted a company, signed a contract, and they informed us that we should have internet in about 3 weeks.¬† At which point I started yelling things like, “Isn’t someone just flipping a switch somewhere?¬† How can this take three weeks?”‚ĶAnd Akhil sighed.¬† Then, about a week or so later, the company informed us that they were having trouble “finding our building”.¬† Now for those of you who have not seen the pictures, we live in a massive steel and glass building on a very major road in Melbourne.¬† We are kind of hard to miss.¬† So, at this point I’m yelling, “What the f***?!¬† We’re the massive steel thing.¬† Should I stand on the roof and wave?!” ‚Ķ Again, sound of Akhil sighing.¬† Now I do understand that they don’t literally mean find the building on a map.¬† But, rather locate the network of wires and cables (or maybe glued-together plastic straws?) that route a signal to our building and more specifically to our apartment.¬† But, their feeble explanation that our building is new seemed, well, feeble.¬† The building is, after all, 4 years old.¬† So, you’d think someone would have “found it” by now.¬† But our building manager tells us this is a frequent problem for many service providers. ¬† Strange since other people in our building have phones and television and internet so clearly the building has been “found” before and you’d think someone would jot it down somewhere for the next time.¬† So, by now I am appealing to Ganesha to please remove the obstacle of UTTER INCOMPETENCE.¬† Unfortunately, Ganesha cannot radiate signals from his elephant trunk detectable by this company and he also cannot use his four arms to strangle them, but he wisely found another way when a colleague of Akhil’s loaned us a phone so we could be “found”.¬† We connected the phone and dialed a number and, the company said, “Oh, there you are!” and the problem was solved.¬† Mysteriously, it still took another two weeks for us to have the internet.¬† Ganesha and I just rolled our eyes and sighed‚Ķ

In addition to helping us with our internet problem, Ganesha actually also helped me overcome another obstacle – finding a yoga teacher in Melbourne. ¬† Everyone kept telling me that there is “heaps” of yoga in Melbourne but I had tried a few studios and done a lot of online research and just wasn’t finding what I was looking for.¬† Lots of hot yoga.¬† Lots of Iyengar yoga.¬† Lots of yoga to tone and sculpt.¬† But, not what I was seeking.¬† Well, when Akhil and I returned to the Chapel Street Bazaar to get the Ganesha, I noticed a little sign for a yoga studio above the bazaar and some flyers from the teachers who offer classes there.¬† So, I took the flyers and had a look and went back for a class a few days later.¬† The studio space was inviting with¬† purple, red, and gold fabric draped across the ceiling to take the edges off what had been an industrial space and statues of Hindu deities and buddhas surrounded by offerings of plants and flowers.¬† It sort of reminded me of the ashram where I did my first yoga teacher training.¬† The other students who arrived for the class greeted me, something that had not happened at the other studios.¬† And the teacher, when he entered, radiated a warmth that kind of made me want to stay in his presence.¬† As it turns out, Andrew of Divine Grace yoga is a really gifted teacher and one of his gifts is storytelling.¬† He has been al lifelong student of mythology and he gives every class a theme and weaves in references to stories modern and classic, from Star Wars to the Ramayana.¬† He uses these epic stories in an engaging and sometimes provocative way to probe what we are really seeking on our yoga mats. Together with his insight about alignment and his sense of humor, the practice feels really complete.¬† So, I am enjoying my time in his classes and know that he will help me grow as a teacher.

So, with Andrew to guide me on the yogic path, it was time to turn my attention to another aspect of our health and well-being here in Australia – navigating the medical system.¬† Having now visited a chiropractor, an ObGyn, and a dermatologist, I feel qualified to make a few observations.¬† First, I should explain that Akhil and I are not the norm here in Australia.¬† The norm is to participate in the public, Medicare system.¬† This covers all the basics for Australian citizens.¬† It may cover the full cost of a service or a part of the cost. Whatever it doesn’t cover is called the “gap” and you are responsible for paying the “gap”.¬† One thing that is great about the system is the financial transparency.¬† Any website for a medical practice lists the rates for services.¬† If you call and speak to a receptionist, she or he can immediately tell you the cost of any standard service. So, you know the cost right up front. And with doctor’s visits, time is literally money.¬† So, a 15 into consultation costs “x”amount and a 30 minute consultation costs “y” amount.¬† It’s all quite cut and dry.¬† Generally speaking, everyone pays out of pocket immediately and then gets reimbursed by medicare.¬† In some cases, there is a process called “bulk billing” where you can actually have your claim processed on the spot and get an instant refund of the amount owed to you.¬† Akhil and I are kind of anomalous in this system because we live and work in Australia but are not medicare eligible.¬† We are instead insured by Akhil’s company who contract with an American health insurance company to cover their employees, who in turn contract with an Australian insurance company to cover us.¬† Whew!¬† What that means is that we have ONLY private health insurance which pretty much confuses every doctor we go to see because here private insurance is largely supplemental, meaning it is generally purchased to covers extras like acupuncture or remedial massage rather than the basics.¬† But, confusing as it can be for the system, the up-side is it allows us to skirt some red tape.¬† In Medicare, like in an HMO, you are often required to have referrals to see a specialist in order to be reimbursed.¬† But, when you have private insurance, you do not need a referral.¬† So, I basically just do the research, pick a doctor, and go see one.¬† And our private insurance is fairly comprehensive, covering not only doctor visits and hospital care etc but also chiropractic care and other wellness services.¬† I for, example, have not paid a dime for my multiple visits to the chiropractor.

Our Australian health insurance provider, GU Health, are also¬† really, really nice and helpful.¬† I’m going to repeat that.¬† They are really, really nice and helpful.¬† I called them often in the beginning because the whole “pay out of pocket” thing was new to me and I wanted to be certain that we really could go to any doctor that would see us and that as long as we had the correct paperwork, we would be reimbursed.¬† When I called, I was quickly able to connect with a person who patiently answered my questions.¬† In one instance, I called to ask whether a certain prescription would be covered.¬† The woman i spoke with was hugely apologetic in explaining that it would not be.¬† In fact, she seemed much more distraught than I was!¬† When I told her I was new to Australia and not sure how prescriptions were priced here, she took some time to explain that the price of generics are government regulated but that¬† prices for name brands might vary from store to store.¬† And then she said, “I’m not speaking now as a representative of GU Health but I personally go to the Chemist Warehouse because they have the best prices.”¬† So, to recap, rather than saying, “No, we don’t cover that.¬† Tough luck.¬† Next. ” she was able to step outside of her role as representative of an insurance company to offer me advice as one shopper to another.¬† As a result, instead of getting of the phone feeling aggrieved that GU Health does not cover the pill, I got off the phone feeling like I’d gotten a valuable tip about where to fill my prescriptions.

And so, prescription in hand, I headed to the Chemist Warehouse which is not, in fact, a warehouse of any kind but rather very similar in appearance to your average CVS with cosmetics and toiletries and bandaids and vitamins and a pharmacy at the back.  I approach the pharmacy and before I can even reach the counter I am met and greeted warmly by a soft-spoken, young Chinese man who asks if he can help me.  I present my prescription and he ushers me to the counter and asks if I have taken this medication before and when I say no he begins to explain how to take it and then tells me he will fill the prescription and asks my name.  In less than 5 minutes, he calls my name and presents my pills and then he takes an additional 5 minutes to review how to take the pills to make sure I understand.  I am so conditioned to impatience or indifference from pharmacy staff in the U.S. that I felt as if this pharmacist had donned white gloves and presented the pills on a silver tray.  And this is the discount pharmacy!

Now, to briefly step back in time, I got this prescription during an appointment with my ObGyn. To refresh your memory, you pay based on how much time you spend with the doctor.¬† And because the lovely Dr. D is aware that I don’t have medicare coverage (and is therefore concerned that this visit may not be covered), she wants to save me money.¬† So, she is warm, friendly, informative, and FAST!¬† I mean I sat down, we started talking, and it was like someone hit the fast forward button.¬† She spoke progressively faster and faster, so I spoke faster and faster, and towards the end we were laughing and smiling and talking but at this speed that was STEADILY INCREASING until I felt sure that one of us wasgoingtorunoutofbreath (exhale).¬† The physical part of the exam was equally memorable because of something I did not have to do.¬† I did not have to put on a flimsy, scratchy paper gown.¬† I repeat.¬† No gown.¬† When she had to examine my bottom half, she had me remove only the clothes on my bottom half.¬† When she had to examine my top half, she had me remove only the clothes on my top half.¬† A radical concept.¬† No uncomfortable fumbling to tie plastic strings to keep a big piece of tissue paper with arm holes in place.¬† No shivering while waiting to be examined in said flimsy “gown”.¬† No pile of paper gowns to dispose of at the end of the day.¬† So‚Ķwhat’s the word?‚Ķsensible.

My visit to the dermatologist was also memorable.¬† I was a little apprehensive about this appointment because I had to call a lot of doctors to find one that could see me immediately.¬† For most, there was a 3-4 week wait.¬† So, you kind of wonder if all the other docs are so busy, why does this guy have an appointment tomorrow?¬† But, since I wanted an immediate appointment, I decided to roll the dice.¬† Turns out, it was a good call.¬† Dr. P is great.¬† Originally from South America but has been practicing in New York.¬† So, his voice is silk but he tells it like it is.¬† It’s a winning combination (in my view).¬† And he’s new to Melbourne, which I think explains the openings on his calendar (or diary as its called here).¬† Dr. P and I kind of bonded during the exam as we compared and contrasted New York and Melbourne.¬† Dr. P confided that he loved Manhattan but was horrified to pay so much money to live in an apartment with mice.¬† Now, I should explain that Dr. P had no nurse or assistant during this exam.¬† So, there he is in his expensive suit and tie leaning over me and apologizing for the tie hanging in my face .¬† Eventually he concludes that he will need to biopsy an area on my arm.¬† He confesses that he is used to having an assistant for these procedures and that he is still adjusting to how things are done in Melbourne but, philosophically, he remarks that there is no sense in complaining and that he just needs to get on with it.¬† So,¬† he does everything from injecting the local anesthetic to stitching up the small wound to applying the bandaid to my “booboo”.¬† I tell him that this stitch (literally just one) is my first ever stitch.¬† After this he explains that although he has done the biopsy to confirm he is pretty confident already in his diagnosis and wants to give me some more information about what he thinks I have.¬† So, he suggests we look at a website together and he’ll review the information with me and then I can review it later at home.¬† But rather than turning to a desktop computer screen, he then pulls out his smartphone. Apologetically he explains that the office internet is down (I’m really not trying to hammer Australian internet service but, come on!).¬† Now, I’ve got an iPad with 3G in my bag because I carry it with me everywhere in Melbourne.¬† And I’m not really sure of the protocol here.¬† I don’t want to upstage Dr. P but should we really huddle over his smartphone when I’ve got this faster, prettier device right here? ¬† After a few awkward moments¬† of him struggling to pull up the website on his phone,¬† I just went for it and said, “Um, I have an iPad if that would be easier?”¬† Dr. P said, “Really?¬† Here?”¬† So, me and Dr. P took out my iPad and found the website he wanted and I sort of felt like I was in an Apple add.¬† I mean, there’s that¬† actual add for the iPad where a user is flicking through¬† 3-D views of bones and when I used to watch that in the U.S. I would think to myself, “Yeah, right, I’m sure doctors are just pulling out iPads left and right to diagnose their patients.” Well, um‚Ķ.maybe‚Ķ.

Now, I know what you are all thinking – she has made it through an entire “Melbourne Diaries” without once mentioning food.¬† Hah!¬† Suckers.¬† I was just saving it until the end.¬† Now that we have a few more pots and pans (purchased) and a few more dishes (borrowed) and a much better working knowledge of our appliances, we are starting to cook more fancy.¬† One of the logical things to try cooking with here is fish because you can get it fresh from the markets.¬† I’m still trying to figure out the whole “grams” thing so I have to sort of fake it and say, “Enough fish for 2 people, please” and when they throw out a number, I nod wisely and say, “Yes, that sounds about right” having no real idea whether it sounds right or not.¬† But that did not stop me from deciding to try making fish in a “parcel” which involves literally wrapping the fish in parcel made of wax paper and putting it in the oven.This recipe called for a white fish which is then essentially steamed inside the parcel with a mixture of leek, fennel, and vanilla bean.¬† I told the nice man at the fish market that I was going to make fish in a parcel and asked for his recommendation and he suggested rockling.¬† So, rockling it was.¬† And I don’t want to brag too much, but when all was said and done, the fish turned out kind of amazing.¬† So, I’m pretty sold on fish in a parcel!

Off to the Races!

Okay,¬† since some of you are weary of hearing about how great our views are and how we are eating delicious food that you cannot have, this week is going to be very sports-themed in honor of the Melbourne Cup Carnival and the “race that stops a nation.”

First, an observation.¬† As a new expat it is easier to meet¬† and find common ground with fellow expats.¬† And after many conversations with expats from Italy, Switzerland, Germany, Spain, Finland, France, Canada etc one thing that unites us all is the way we answer this question: “What do you miss the most?”¬† The answer, without fail, is ” My family and (insert name of favorite sports team).”¬† If you are Canadian and miss hockey, good luck!¬† Aussies are also pretty lukewarm about football (soccer) so if you’re European,¬† things are not much better.¬† Plus matches are on at ungodly hours.¬† One of my friends sets alarms at 4:30am to get up and watch his team, Inter Milan play.¬† He finds a website showing the game and settles in with his coffee. ¬† By comparison, I was lucky to get the watch the Yankees at 7:30 am or 10:30 am.¬† Well, lucky if you consider it luck to see them sent packing by the Rangers‚Ķbut I digress‚Ķ.

Okay, so, once you stop moaning and groaning about the matches you are missing (or losing sleep to see) there are an abundance of sports to enjoy and none is more festive than the Spring Cup Carnival, a series of horse races held here in Melbourne at Flemington Race Track that seem to kind of signify the official start of Spring here in Melbourne.¬† This year, Akhil and I were invited to go to Derby Day which is a big day for both racing¬† AND fashion.¬† Before I get to the actual day, I want to talk a little about the pronunciation of “Derby”. Everyone here says ” Darby”.¬† So, naturally I assumed that unlike the Kentucky Derby, they spelled it with an “a”.¬† But, no, it’s spelled the same as our “Derby”.¬† It’s just pronounced “Darby”.¬† I did some online research to try to determine the “correct” pronunciation but instead found interesting and seemingly sound cases made for both pronunciations by some linguistic scholars and -waaaaay more fun, some knock down, drag out blog wars like the one between “Sman-21, buzzbuzz, STC,and Dyslexic Emo on bigfooty.com that deteriorated into posts such as the following

Sman-21 “When I turn into a snobby old pommy git and sing god save the queen at the football coz the actual game is so boring I have to entertain myself somehow, I will call it darby”

Apparently the derby vs darby pronunciation wars also extend to Aussie Rules.

As an American who grew up with the “derby” pronunciation, I feel just a wee bit pretentious going around saying “darby” (really echoing what Sman-21 so eloquently expresses in his blog post).¬† But, I didn’t want to be perceived as uncouth either, daaahhhling.¬† So, in honor of my Australian-American state of mind, I sometimes settled on “Derby Darby Day”.¬† And when I was feeling more obnoxious, I went with a nice, throaty, exaggerated “Daaaaaahhhhhhrrrrrrrby Day”.¬† ¬† The best time for the exaggerated “Daaaaaaaahhhhhhhrby” pronunciation is when you are at the races, wearing your enormous hat and shipping champagne (or “bubbles).¬† And that leads me to the next fabulous thing about the races – the fashion.¬† As one of my friends put it, “It’s like the entire city is going to a giant wedding”.¬† This is a pretty apt description since EVERYONE truly does get dressed up for the races.¬† The best part is that many also take public transport so that they can drink until they stagger home in their eight-inch heels or beer-soaked Armani loafers.¬† The result is city buses and trams and ferries filled with people in haute couture and huge hats and natty suits, AND fascinators. What are fascinators, you ask?¬† Well, they are delightful, feathery, spangly, dangly, sparkly things you attach to your head with a headband or a comb.¬† I had never heard of a fascinator before but, trust me, it fascinates.¬† They run the gamut from elegant, to funky, to cheeky, to, well, literally over the top. You can see photos of a few worn by my friends in the Derby Day Album.

Derby Day is traditionally black and white day for the ladies and naturally there is a contest to determine who is the most fashionable¬†on the field! ¬† Both ladies and gents strut their stuff at the Myer Fashions on the Field event, held under a massive tent right by the racetrack.¬† Contestants young and old enter in groups and parade in front of judges and winners from each group are selected.¬† Then the finalists¬† from each group are assembled and a winner is crowned, Miss America style, complete with a sash and a walk down the runway.¬† The ladies take it quite seriously while the gents are a bit more unpredictable, with a few drunk Aussie lads with jackets off and ties askew appearing onstage beside elegant fashionistas with impeccably tailored pants.¬† The whole thing is quite a spectacle but this year I experienced a special treat when the cross-dressing Dame Edna crashed the show.¬† Dame Edna is quite beloved here in his/her hometown of Melbourne so since the Dame was at the races, the show’s producers made an impromptu decision to bring her up on stage.¬† She was wearing a massive rainbow of a garment- sort of a mumu meets a a tutu- and I believe the Dame may have had a few too many glass of the “bubbles” before making her entrance.¬† This was unfortunate for the hapless presenters but delightful for the crowd!¬† What was supposed to be a brief cameo turned into an hysterical, unscripted 20-minute outright theft of the spotlight. The Dame paraded in her mumu/tutu of many colors, cracked jokes, asked embarrassing personal questions of the contestants and told one of the presenters ( I believe a local TV celeb) that he was totally useless. His female co-presenter was choking back laughter and trying to keep things moving along but the Dame was having none of it.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your view, I saw a lot more of Dame Edna than I did of horse racing because the weather for Derby Darby Day was absolutely miserable.  At first the grey skies and wet weather were helpful because crowds were smaller than usual and I got right down to the track for the first few races.  And it is pretty cool to be that close to horses going that fast, especially because we were close the finish line.  But, after two races, the rain just came in sheets and everyone had to seek shelter.  Women with spray tans dripped orange as they ran for cover.  Mascara ran everywhere. Being a bit of a pragmatist and knowing the forecast, I personally opted for pants and a dark shirt.  And I had fond a fabulous big hat at a vintage shop so I made it to cover without any major make-up mishaps.  But, basically the entire rest of the day was spent drinking huge quantities of alcohol while huddling under a tent (actually, the tent at the bookmakers!)  It was too wet to venture out even to watch the main race on the TV monitors, which were exposed to the rain.  So, I saw minimal racing and had a wicked hangover.  That said, I would go again for the people-watching and in the hopes of a better day with more opportunity to see the actual races.

Like the Derby, the Melbourne Cup or the “race that stops a nation” is of course held here in Melbourne where everything does come to a grinding halt because people in Victoria are given the day off work. ¬† The unlucky people in the other states have to go to work (suckers). But, since our clothes were still drying from Saturday’s adventures at Flemington, we decided to watch from the comfort of a warm, dry pub where the “nation” had stopped everything EXCEPT eating, drinking, and betting.¬† Since we got there early to secure seats,¬† we had time to actually do a bit of research on the horses.¬† So, I learned a few interesting things about racing in Australia.¬† One thing I learned is that the Melbourne Cup is a handicap race, meaning that the best horses are required to carry extra weight.¬† As a newcomer to racing,¬† I am having a lot of trouble wrapping my head around this concept.¬† To the untrained (me) the logic seems something like this:¬† An owner invests money in a horse and then selects a really talented and knowledgable trainer.¬† Said trainer works with the horse for months or years, perfecting the horse’s fitness and technique.¬† The horse puts in months and years of work to build speed, strength, and endurance. ¬† On the day, the jockey guides the horse skillfully in the race.¬† Because of all this hard work, dedication, and skill, the horse wins a big race like the Derby or the Melbourne Cup.¬† And the result?¬† Well, basically, it’s “Hey, great job owner, trainer, jockey, and horse.¬† Now as a reward in the next big race you get to wear a whole bunch of lead in your saddle to slow you down so the other horses have a chance and the bookies can make more money.” ¬† Maybe I’m too heavily influenced by the American ideology of rewarding success?¬† But why does the playing field have to be leveled by a “handicap”? Perhaps the reasoning behind it is more subtle and sophisticated?¬† Maybe if I said “darby” instead of “derby” I would understand?

Anyway, back to the big race.¬† This year’s Cup Carnival had pretty poor conditions as it has been one of the wettest springs on record.¬† So on Saturday’s Derby Day the races were run on “heavy” tracks, meaning basically ridiculously wet and sloppy.¬† By Cup Day on Tuesday, the weather was cold and drizzly but not as wet so it was considered a¬† “dead” track which is defined as a racing surface that is infirm or lacking resiliency. We placed our money on two horses, with the sentimental choice being Descarado, a horse trained by colorful Melbourne resident Gai Waterhouse¬† http://www.theage.com.au/sport/horseracing/gais-back-with-unfinished-business-20101101-17ak8.html .

In short, Gai is a former actress turned trainer who actually had quite a fight to get her trainer’s license because her ex-husband was involved in some sort of betting scandal.¬† Anyway, she fought the establishment and won so how could I resist?¬† She is now a hall of fame trainer with numerous racing successes but the Cup continues to elude her.¬† Sadly for our plucky heroine, this year was no exception.¬† Descarado got off to a great start and was in the top three almost to the very end when he suddenly pulled up shy of the finish line.¬† In my opinion, Descarado was probably making a silent and misunderstood protest re: the whole handicap thing because poor Descarado was flying around the track “handicapped” by extra weight.¬† As he got to the finish line, he was probably like, “Wait a minute‚Ķthey put lead in my saddle?‚Ķthis is bullshit!”¬† Gai seems to think that it was the track conditions and if you’re interested in her slightly more learned and nuanced perspective, she blogs about it at gaiwaterhouse.com.au

So, the rebellious Descarado ultimately recorded a “failed to finish”.¬† Also, in case you are interested, the winner was a horse named Americain, who truly embodies globalization being born and bred in America,¬† owned by Aussies, trained in France, and raced in the Cup by a french jockey based in Hong Kong.¬† And the Aussies who are so insistent about pronouncing “Derby” as “Darby” consistently butchered the French pronunciation of “Americain”, pronouncing it instead as “cane” as in “sugarcane” or “John McCain”.¬† If necessary, this is ammunition I may pull out in a “derby” vs “darby” argument

Perhaps less glamorous but certainly not less popular, I turn now to the other sport of the week – Cricket.¬† India continues to best Australia in Internationals so Akhil is (quietly) happy.¬† And on the local level we have learned that the team in bright yellow who have played several times on the oval beneath our window are, in fact, the St. Kilda Saints who represent our neighborhood in Victoria Premier Cricket.¬† The Saints were founded in the 1850’s when club cricket was more informal and the Melbourne champion was basically chosen by journalists.¬† But, in the 1870’s more structure was introduced and eventually led to pennant matches, and a Challenge Cup. Today clubs like St. Kilda have multiple teams at different levels ( I believe St Kilda has four teams)¬† And since the early 1900’s, St Kilda’s A team has an impressive 18 titles and the Saints are tied with the Melbourne Demons for winningest record.¬† It is so rare in life to be on the side of the saints that I really do have to take this opportunity!

The cricket pitch below us, known as the St Kilda Cricket Ground or Junction Oval (because it is located at the junction of two of St Kilda’s main roads) apparently has quite an illustrious history including that Australian cricket great Shane Warne made his first-class debut here with St Kilda.

Unfortunately heavy rains these past few weeks have prevented some scheduled matches from being played at all.¬† And we seem to be seeing the C or D teams here rather than the A teams. So, recently we saw one of the St Kilda teams getting trounced by Camberwell.¬† But, according¬† to the Victorian Premier Cricket website, St Kilda’s A team are faring better.¬† So, hopefully they will come to our oval soon or else we’ll (sigh) make the long journey to another oval to see them play. ¬† In the meantime, as new fans of the St. Kilda Saint’s, I’d like to share with you their fight song. Grab a friend and a spot of tea and start practicing.¬† It’s so‚Ķwhat’s the word?‚Ķrousing?

“Oh, we do like to be beside the seaside

Oh, we do like to be beside the sea

Down at the Junction there’s a cricket ground

And that’s where The Saints all hang around

So, let’s hear three cheers for old St Kilda

This year successful we will be

Though it’s not quite in the bag

We’ve got hopes to win the flag

Beside the seaside, beside the sea”

Come on‚Ķtry it out in the shower‚Ķit’s a cracker!

Which brings me to another interesting, alcohol-related aspect of life here in Melbourne – the open container.¬† So, Melbourne is much more relaxed about booze in general.¬† A lot of restaurants, even high end restaurants, will allow you to BYOB.¬† They may charge you a corkage fee to drink your wine there but you can bring your own.¬† You can also take the bottle of wine you have purchased at a restaurant with you.¬† So, no need to guzzle it down there just because you’ve paid for it.¬† Also, it is perfectly legal to stroll down the street with an open can of alcohol.¬† Technically, I believe there are laws governing when you can do this but I’m not sure they are strictly enforced.¬† So, you will routinely see someone in broad daylight strolling down a main street with a can of beer.¬† We live in a¬† relatively posh area so these are not homeless people or students or backpackers (who do also hang out here in St Kilda).¬† The well-heeled of St Kilda will sip beer as they walk their posh dogs.¬† The best (or worst) experience I have had with this was near Flinders Street Station downtown where I encountered a gentleman walking with a can of Wild Turkey.¬† Firstly, I was not aware that you can buy Wild Turkey in a can.¬† So, I was taking that in.¬† Secondly, I was slightly queasy just thinking about what it’s like to drink Wild Turkey from a can.¬† For you Washingtonians, this would be the equivalent of casually strolling around Union Station with a can (and I must emphasize that it’s in a can!) of Jim Beam.

Also, not to dwell too long on alcohol, but what I have NOT seen here is a single can of Fosters.¬† I don’t even think it is Australian.¬† Probably, like Hagen Daaz, it is made in New Jersey.

Perhaps because you can stroll around town with a can of beer (or bourbon or whiskey), people watching is a great pastime here.¬† I continue to spend time on Chapel Street at the Supa Store because the goods are cheap and the people-watching is priceless.¬† This week, as I examined some pillow covers, an Eastern European lady basically tried to take me out from behind.¬† I’m not exaggerating. She was old and short and wide and I did not see her coming!¬† Next thing I know, I am flying through space.¬† I’m not quite sure (since I was still reeling from the blow) but I think she had decided that in spite of my being in a VERY narrow aisle and in spite of her having a not very narrow frame, she could “squeeze” past me.¬† It was a strange decision, given that there was a perfectly wide (and empty) aisle close to where I was standing.¬† But, nevertheless, I was apparently the path of least resistance.¬† She did sort of mumble an apology (either that¬† or she cursed me for getting in her way).¬† I was still kind of trying to process the hit that this woman had just put on me, when I made my way to the counter with my pillow covers ($2.50 each, by the way, for the best faux silk in China).¬† As I was walking up, the Japanese woman behind the counter was exclaiming very enthusiastically to a tanned man in his early 40’s that he was getting a fantastic bargain because last week the item in question had cost $150 and now it was $99.¬† Naturally, I looked to see what he was buying and it was a giant replica of the Eiffel Tower meant, it seemed, to be used as a lawn ornament.¬† i’m kind of rubbing my eyes at this point, wondering if I’m just seeing things but, no, this gentleman really was feeling extremely fortunate to have found the last Eiffel Tower replica (and on sale, no less!) at the Supa Store.¬† I meekly paid for my pillow cases and wondered if I should go find myself a can of Wild Turkey?

This past week I had an email from someone who said, “So, are you doing anything in Melbourne other than eating and drinking?”¬† And, I thought to myself, “What a strange question? Other than sport, those are the pastimes of Melbourne.” I might argue that since my time is largely spent in pursuit¬† of the best coffee, food, and wine (when I am not playing or watching sports), that I am being extremely culturally sensitive!¬† I mean, long term there are plans for hiking in the outback and snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef but in Melbourne itself, people are obsessed with only a few things and those include where to swim and where to eat and drink.¬† Oh, and the weather.¬† In fact, in Melbourne, I have learned that the weather is not one of those things you talk about to be polite and neutral or when you have nothing else to discuss.¬† The weather is a major and important topic of conversation.¬† People discuss the weather here with the seriousness with which they discuss politics in Washington D.C.¬† They check forecasts constantly. In particular, what people like to discuss is not the weather you are currently experiencing but the weather that is coming.¬† So, it could be a gorgeous day without a cloud in the sky and you could be sitting there enjoying the feeling of warm sun on your face and a Melbournian will say, “Hmmm‚Ķit’s supposed to get windy later” or “The forecast for this weekend is really shit”.¬† I was discussing this strange phenomenon with my Swiss-Italian friend Aldo as we sat at our neighborhood beer garden. I went to get us some beers and, I swear, the young bartenders were not discussing girls, or sport, but the weekend weather.

On the subject of food (and finding the good stuff in a new city), it helps to have a Swiss-Italian friend.¬† So, naturally, I got one.¬† He lives pretty nearby and he’s a consultant who is currently “on the bench” so he has a lot of time on his hands.¬† He took me to a great pizza place in St. Kilda which is not really the neighborhood best known for Italian food so I would probably never have tried it without his guidance.¬† And that would have been sad because it was delicious.¬† They open at 6pm and we walked in shortly after 6 and the staff were in the kitchen dancing to “Time of my Life” from Dirty Dancing.¬† We walked in and the young Italian woman paused, mid-step and fired, “Do you know this song?”¬† And I said, “Yes (slightly hesitantly)”.¬† And she said, “What movie is it from?” And I said, (hopefully) “Dirty Dancing.”¬† And she exclaimed, with great joy, “Of course it is!”¬† And then we were given a table.¬† I am not sure what would have happened if I had answered incorrectly‚Ķ

But now, since some of you are tired of hearing about eating and drinking, here are some other things I’ve learned. Like Americans, Australians like to shorten names.¬† And Australians love a nickname.¬† So, in the women’s ultimate league I’ve been playing in, naturally, my name was immediately shortened to “Jen”.¬† But, then it was quickly modified to “Jen-o”.¬† This doesn’t sound jolly and roly-poly like “Jell-o” when Australians say it.¬† Instead it’s this sort of elongated sound with the “Je” being soft and flat sounding and the “n” being sort of insignificant and the “o” being very loud and enthusiastic.¬† So, when I showed up to play my second game, I was greeted by many shouts of “Hey, it’s Jen-o!¬† Jen-o!¬† Jen-ooooooh!”¬† When I hear it, I picture a scrappy but lovable creature that should live in the Australian Outback. The Jen-o is small and furry with big, endearing eyes.¬† In the Disney movie, the Jen-o would be friends with a wise Kangaroo and a spastic Tasmanian Devil.¬† On the BBC, Attenborough would say, “Although the Jen-o is cunning and resourceful, it is constantly threatened by the ___ that stalks the outback” (cut to shot of a Jen-o narrowly escaping the jaws of said outback predator).

In my continuing tales of adjusting to life in a high rise, this week I learned what it’s like when the lifts (elevators) stop working.¬† Yup.¬† You guessed it.¬† You walk up and down 17 flights of stairs.¬† Basically, you minimize the number of times you are willing to leave your apartment.¬† Delicious pot of mussels at the Belgian beer cafe?¬† I’m in.¬† Checking the mail?¬† No thanks. (Sorry – another food reference.¬† So hard not to talk about‚Ķ)

On a more serious note, I paid a visit to the Shrine of Remembrance, which as I understand it was built primarily (or originally ) to honor Australian soldiers who served in WW1 but was later expanded to include WW2 and the Vietnam War.¬† I did not realize how many Australian soldiers served in WW1 and what a toll it took on the country. An astonishing number of Australians were killed or injured in the war and it was fascinating to read about what inspired young Australian men and women to serve, where they ended up, and how it impacted their generation and the next.¬† The Shrine is currently exhibiting a fascinating photography collection featuring the personal photos of two Australian brothers who served in the war.¬† Although soldiers were often prohibited from carrying cameras or taking photographs for fear they might inadvertently give away positions or alarm the folks back home, these brothers managed to carry a camera with them throughout their service.¬† Since they were obviously otherwise occupied during combat, what they captured with their camera was a part of war you don’t often see – the quiet times, the waiting, hours passing the time in a camp or a foxhole.¬† The photographs tell an incredible and very personal story.¬† One thing the brothers did was to photograph the hastily constructed grave markers that were erected in battle fields to mark the spots were their friends and fellow soldiers fell.¬† Families in Australia were distraught that they might never receive the remains of their loved ones who had fallen in battle and indeed many bodies took a long time to be recovered or never were.¬† So, the Australian brothers photographed the makeshift grave sites so that at least the families in Australia could have the comfort of knowing where the bodies lay and that they had been honored in some way.¬† The collection also features numerous photos taken after the war ended as the brothers and others waited months for a ship that could return them to Australia.¬† It was something I had never considered – that soldiers so far from home couldn’t simply go home at the end of the war.¬† The armed forces had a system and you had to wait until it was your turn to board a ship and then, of course, it took a long time for that ship to sail from Europe to Australia.¬† If I remember correctly, it was 9 months after their service ended that they finally arrived home.¬† So, in the meantime, they photographed they ways soldiers passed the time, waiting to get home to their families.¬† One of the most remarkable things about the collection is that it almost never saw the light of day.¬† When the brothers returned, they bought adjoining plots of land, married, and settled back into life in rural Australia. Like many, they did not speak about their experiences during the war.¬† And they took the photographs they shot and tucked them away.¬† They had both developed a passion for photography so they continued to photograph friends and family. And they kept in touch with the men they had served with until their deaths. But, they never revealed that they had this collection of photographs documenting their experiences.¬† Many years later, the photos and rolls of undeveloped film were discovered in a container headed for the dump, a precious record and amazing story nearly lost.

Next week I’ll have tales from “the races” as we are going to the Darby on Saturday and possibly the Melbourne Cup on Tuesday, a race so big that it’s a national holiday (and I’m assuming that’s because no one would turn up for work anyway).¬† Since I’ve never been to a horse race, I hope to return with stories.¬† Until then‚Ķ

Another kind of sky/weather related phenomenon I’ve noticed here in Melbourne, especially being up this high, is that I see a surprising number of hot air balloons. Not really sure why?¬† Our first weekend here, we woke up on the Saturday to see several hot air balloons drifting over Albert Park Lake.¬† I guessed that maybe they were taking aerial shots for the broadcast of the AFL grand final replay here in Melbourne (sort of like the blimps over football stadiums at home). But, yesterday morning I again awoke to balloons, this time floating over towards the bay. ¬† Is this some sort of “eye in the sky”?¬† Should I be worried? Or is it just common for people to go hot-air ballooning here?¬† I’m going to need to investigate‚Ķ

This week we made several important discoveries.¬† The first two were food-related.¬† On our second trip to Ikea which is in a suburb called Richmond, we discovered that Richmond is home to Little Vietnam.¬† And that means lots and lots of Pho!¬† There is basically several blocks of little, mostly casual, family-owned restaurants serving Vietnamese food.¬† Many have carcasses hanging in the windows. It is, perhaps, not a vegetarian’s dream but I think we are going to be spending some time in Richmond eating dishes we’ve never heard of and hoping (in my case) that they do not secretly include pork.¬† We also saw some Indian restaurants a few blocks away so we definitely think more culinary delights await us in this neighborhood.¬† Which, speaking of, was our second discovery.¬† We found good, cheap Indian food right in the city center!¬† We figured we were going to have to go further away from the city to find real Indian food, particularly south indian food, particularly dosai (a very delicious south indian crepe-like pile of deliciousness that, if you have never tasted, you should immediately figure out some way to make it happen.¬† I’m serious.¬† Stop reading this and go make it happen)¬† Anyway, should you come to visit us one of our stops will be at Flora which is one of the most touristy parts of town.¬† We found online reviews that said it was the real deal and that it was mostly Indians and Sri Lankan’s that frequented the place but we were skeptical.¬† However, it’s right on the tram line and we figured it was worth a shot.¬† We walked in and, sure enough, it was all Indian and Sri Lankan families and a few Brits. The food is ordered and served without ceremony but it is warm and fragrant and tasty and cheap and you can watch clips from Bollywood movies as you stuff your face.

We did do other things besides eating this week.¬† I made a an important discovery that I think all newcomers to Melbourne need to know about, yet I do not see it any of the helpful online guides to living in Melbourne.¬† There’s a famous street in Melbourne called Chapel street and it’s very long and leads up the Yarra River which runs right through the city.¬† And Chapel is just loads and loads of shops.¬† But what’s cool about it is that it’s a mix of super cool, trendy boutiques (many up and coming designers have stores here) and pricey cafes and restaurants but it’s also home to secondhand shops and, most importantly, the Asian “supa” store.¬† When I discovered the Asian “supa” store, I was furious that I got suckered into paying retail for household goods during my first week and vowed never to do it again!¬† Basically these stores are like old fashioned five and dime stores with a little bit of everything.¬† There really is one called “Supa Store” and I loved it so much that I now just call all of them that.¬† Everything in the stores are, of course, made in China. ¬† So, for example, you can buy a dish-drying rack made by the chinese “King of Wood”. This evokes a great image in my mind of a dignified, older chinese man with a round belly and a wise countenance. He sits on a wooden throne and gestures widely to show the expanse of his kingdom (of wood). ¬† Anyway, you have to comparison shop amongst all the supa stores to find the best deals.¬† I learned this because I shop there on weekday afternoons with the little old Asian ladies and¬† older Eastern European couples, who comparison shop with a keen eye. The other thing I learned from the Asians and the Eastern Europeans is that if you’re going to shop via public transportation or on foot, you need a little four-wheeled shopping cart.¬† Yup.¬† Gotta have it.¬† Otherwise your arms get laden with all your purchases and your shoulders ache.¬† There’s just no use trying to be cool- if you’re going to buy that buddha statue and that dish-drying rack you need plus fresh fruit and veg and that handmade Italian pasta from the Prahran Market, you need a little shopping cart.¬† So, Akhil and I embraced our inner little old lady and bought one (after comparing prices at all the “supa” stores, of course!)¬† We wheel it around with pride because that’s just how we roll here in Melbourne.

Lest you think we spent the entire week slumming it here in Melbourne, we actually did spend some time seeing how the other half lives.¬† Our friend Kylie is friend’s with a winemaker in Geelong and invited us to a “release party” at this very posh place called the Press Club.¬† So, it was a lot of important people with extensive knowledge of the Australian wine industry who were very excited about the release of these 2010 wines‚Ķand us.¬† The winery hosting the dinner is called Lethbridge and they are a small, 5-star winery in Geelong that, from what I could tell, have a cult following amongst Australian critics and serious wine drinkers. They produce small batches of their signature wines and they release them and the critics rave and the wines sell out.¬† I don’t think they sell any of their wines outside of Australia, which is unfortunate for all of you ¬† As an aside, Australians are very proud of their wines.¬† And, frankly, rightfully so.¬† They kind of resent that the rest of the world doesn’t know and respect their wines.¬† They don’t like being represented in the U.S. by Yellowtail.¬† And nothing gets a real Australian wine enthusiast going like innocently remarking that you like New Zealand Sauvignon Blancs.¬† Do not make this mistake!¬† Well, if you’re at a boring dinner party in Australia and you want to get the conversation going, do it.¬† But, if you want to make friends, say something like, ” I know the market is flooded with these overrated New Zealand Sauv Blancs but I think the Sauv Blancs coming out of Australia are so much more refined on the palette. “¬† This statement will win you friends.¬† Anyway, attending a dinner hosted by Lethbridge is super hip and cool and we drank a lot of good wine and ended up ordering some.¬† Our small supply will be gone by the time any of you come to visit but Geelong is actually really close by and we’ve been told we can just come down to the vineyard and have lunch.¬† Oh, I should mention that the owners and winemakers Ray and Maree are the most charming, down to earth, lovely people who produce these really amazing wines and clearly take the process quite seriously but don’t take themselves that seriously.¬† And, probably the most amusing moment of the night was at the end when we met Ray and learned that he is from south India!¬† Amazing to live in a world where borders are so fluid that a south Indian married to an American moves to Australia for work and meets a south Indian married to an Australian who has become the darling of the Australian wine industry.

Somewhere between highbrow and lowbrow, I also made myself attend a “newcomers network” function this week.¬† I was not looking forward to it because at the last minute Akhil had to go to Sydney so I had to fly solo to this bar and they tell you in the online description of the event that you are going to have to wear a name tag and I pictured myself, all alone, walking into a crowded bar and finding this group of “newcomers” and having to walk up to strangers and introduce myself and I sort of envisioned that there might be some skeevy, older men who go to these functions trying to prey upon vulnerable newcomers‚Ķanyway, let’s just say I wasn’t really looking forward to it and I nearly didn’t go but at the last minute I jumped on a tram and headed to the bar.¬† And I’m really glad I went because it was nothing like I pictured (mostly).¬† The bar was quiet and old and elegant and when I walked into the room, I saw to my right a small group of people, seated comfortably and chatting and they welcomed me right into the circle. They did make me wear a name tag and introduce myself but after that it was just nice conversation with a pretty eclectic bunch of people.¬† There was one skeevy middle-aged guy who showed up after me but he was largely ignored and left.¬† I was the only American (which was okay by me) and I met a lovely Finnish woman and a nice Swiss guy and a gregarious Canadian woman who had been living in Amsterdam before moving here. Several of us ended up heading out to dinner afterwards at a burger joint in one of Melbourne’s famous little laneways.¬† Australians like their red meat so I wasn’t sure how i would fare at this place but ( I heart Australia) they had three different types of veggie burgers on the menu!¬† I mean, I cannot think of a burger place in the U.S. where you can get more than some half-ass, pre-made veggie patty.¬† So, pleasant surprise.¬† Food aside, it was great to meet some people experiencing the same challenges and adjustments and I exchanged numbers with several people so today I actually got to text with friends, which sounds really lame but the only calls and texts I get here (other than from my husband) are related to furniture deliveries so it’s just a really nice thing to get a text from a new friend inviting you to coffee.

Which brings me to my last subject which is that this week I was finally reunited with the iPhone. For reasons I won’t bore most of you with, you are not supposed to be able to take a phone from the U.S. and bring it to Australia and use it.¬† But, nobody likes that rule because it is stupid and iPhones are so much more expensive here than in the U.S. that naturally smart people went to work on a way to “unlock” U.S. iPhones so that you can use them here.¬† Basically, you take your phone to a chinese lady and she works some magic and now you can use it here. Problem is that Akhil had gifted me with the latest iPhone and, as of last week, the superheroes who figure out how to unlock these phones (and then tell the chinese ladies) have not figured out how to unlock the iPhone 4. So, I spent a miserable week trying to use a $30 Nokia phone that just SUCKS.¬† It sucks.¬† It is cruel and unusual punishment to use one of these phones.¬† The worst part is that everyone here texts.¬† And trying to text with the stupid “T9″ function and the tiny little buttons and god forbid you want to insert a number or a piece of punctuation.¬† I would start to type a text and then get so frustrated that I would throw the phone at Akhil (who has an unlocked iPhone) and sigh tragically and say, “You type.¬† I simply cannot go on this way”.¬† I think Akhil¬† was getting bit weary of his angry wife hurling phones at him so he came up with the genius idea of unlocking my old iPhone (the original, old school iPhone that they cracked the code on long ago).¬† So, I am reunited with the iPhone and, seriously, I never want to be parted again.¬† You can mock me if you want.¬† But, then you will come to Australia to visit and I will make you use my $30 Nokia phone and you will cry and hurl it at people and ask them to text for you‚ĶI promise‚Ķ

Last thing for the week – Aussie slang.¬† People, at least in Melbourne, do not say “G’day mate”.¬† I’m actually not sure that anyone other than Crocodile Dundee does that.¬† Instead of “How are you?” or “What’s up?” they say, “How’re you going?”¬† And, my most favorite slang so far, instead of saying “Just show up” they say, “Just rock up”.¬† So, for example, when I was talking to a girl about joining a women’s ultimate team she said, “You can got to the website to sign up for a team or just rock up on the night”.¬† It makes everything you do sound so much cooler.¬† I’m not just coming, I’m rocking up.¬† If that doesn’t put some swagger in your step, I don’t know what will.

Oh, and I nearly forgot, many of you have suggested that if we are going to keep bragging about our amazing views, we should share some pictures.¬† We are still using prepaid mobile broadband (for a variety of frustrating reasons involving bank accounts, needed equipment, and Akhil’s recent travel schedule) so I can’t upload much as mobile broadband here is painfully slow.¬† But, I’ve got an album¬† with a few pictures of the apartment on Picasa Web and here’s the link http://picasaweb.google.com/jencrescenzo/EarlyDaysInMelbourneAustralia#

New apartment in Melbourne

So, it’s officially been one week in Melbourne and here is what I have learned so far:

The view from our apartment is as spectacular as I remembered. ¬†On our first evening, watching the sunset over the water, I turned to Akhil and said, “Do you think we’ll ever get bored with this?” and then we laughed…

What I find most spectacular ¬†about the view is that our perch on the 18th floor and floor to ceiling windows give us a panoramic view encompassing the ocean, Albert Park and its lake and parklands, and the city skyline. ¬†What Akhil finds most spectacular are the cricket matches played on the pitch right below us. ¬†We had non-stop cricket “action” all weekend and Akhil could not stop grinning. ¬†He was dumbounded when I turned away for a minute to slice bread because I was missing a crucial moment. ¬†But, let’s just say that there are a LOT of moments in cricket and it’s debatable what is crucial : ) ¬†That said, as I learn more about the game and what “overs” mean and get to see the differences between spin bowlers and bouncers and I can do all of this from the couch in my living room, it’s actually not a bad way to pass a few hours on a Sunday morning.

When people say Melbourne is full of cafes, they are not kidding around. ¬†Within walking distance of our apartment are no fewer than 15 cafes, most of them charming. ¬†And that’s BEFORE we even hit the heart of St Kilda. We already have a favorite…

Apartments in Melbourne (including ours) often don’t include refrigerators with the cost of the rental. So you have to rent or buy one. ¬†People actually take their fridges with them from place to place. ¬†I think it’s sort of silly since no two kitchens are the same size and configuration and you would therefore always have to assess whether your fridge would fit in a new apartment. ¬†But, so far no one has asked my advice on the subject ¬†Our fridge arrives today (yay!) but since we spent our first week fridgeless, we did get to try a lot of the local restaurants. ¬†That is good for all of you because we already know the best places in the neighborhood to take you when you come to visit. ¬†Most interesting find was a Belgian beer garden with amazing mussel pots. When planning your visit, leave adequate time beforehand for regular, vigorous exercise. ¬†Consider fasting. ¬†Come ready to eat and drink A LOT. ¬†Lucky for you, we have a great gym in the building that also has amazing views!

Apartments also often do not include washer/dryers. ¬†Ours does have one BUT it’s one of those small, front-load, combination washer/dryers which means that the dryer is useless. ¬†I mean, truly, useless. ¬†Really, it’s a lie to say that it’s a dryer. ¬†Our lovely building manager Ruth tells me that she does not even use hers but rather puts clothes on a rack in the kitchen to dry. ¬†Because we face south and west, we get tons of light so I think we will be using the same method. ¬†Basically, it’s that or run the “dryer” for 2 hours to get warm, damp clothes.

People, in general, are more helpful and patient here. ¬†It’s a ¬†big city so everyone isn’t all smiles. ¬†But, if you ask a question they will go out of their way to provide a useful answer. And shopkeepers will wait patiently while you sort through the million coins they have here to find the right denominations. ¬†The person behind you won’t even sigh impatiently as you fumble…really…

Melbourne is known for its many outdoor markets, particularly its food markets. ¬†And they are all that and a bag of chips! ¬†The closest one to us is the Prahran Market which is one of the oldest and its known as the foodie gourmet market. ¬†Lots of produce, amazing handmade pastas, fresh meat and fish, and even a great coffee purveyor. ¬†We couldn’t buy much this past weekend (no fridge) but went anyway and got some mangoes, which are grown in Australia. (Don’t make the mistake of asking an Australian fruit vendor where they import their mangoes from our you will get a very indignant look!)

Sport is huge here in Melbourne and we actually arrived the weekend of the Aussie Football League final and our own local team, the St Kilda Saints, were in the final, played here in Melbourne. ¬†A few things about this. ¬†First of all, it was a bit confusing the day we arrived and saw shops and pubs decked out with signs that read “Go Saints!”. ¬†I know that the NFL has a reasonable following here but I was unsure as to why people in St. Kilda where such big New Orleans fans until I realized that the signs did not refer to THOSE saints ¬†The St. Kilda Saints, we learned, are always contenders but have not won the final since the 1960’s. ¬†They were playing Collingwood, who everybody hates (unless they are from Collingwood). ¬†Collingwood apparently wins often and has the most annoying fans. ¬†There are many things I don’t yet understand about Aussie Rules Football but high among them is how we ended up being here on finals weekend. ¬†See, finals weekend was actually the previous weekend. ¬†So, St. Kilda played Collingwood in what was supposed to be the final but they tied. ¬†Seems like you would just go to overtime, right? ¬†Wrong! ¬†In the finals, if the score is tied, you actually have to play a whole other final game the following weekend. ¬†So, because of the tie, two finals were played. ¬†Seems a bit impractical, yes? ¬†It apparently caused a huge uproar here because everything stops for finals weekend and therefore nobody schedules ANYTHING for that weekend, i.e. weddings, holidays, etc. But everybody schedules things for the following weekend. ¬†So, you can imagine that there were some furious brides….

IKEA in Australia is much the same frustrating experience as it as at home. ¬†The only advantage to IKEA here is that you can actually take a tram there from city center, which is pretty cool. ¬†Otherwise it’s the same process of carefully selecting furniture from their showroom only to get down to their warehouse to learn that half of what you selected is not there. ¬†This means that right now we have a dining table with no chairs and barstools to go with a kitchen island that we don’t have. ¬†We hope to remedy that this evening with another trip but something tells me that it will be several weeks (and trips) before it all comes together. ¬†Oh IKEA…would that your product delivery was as ingenious as your design…

I have started to play Ultimate again here since we can see the fields from our apartment and it seemed like a good way to meet people. ¬†As always, in Co-Ed leagues, girls are in demand ¬†One thing I forgot about Ultimate is how much running is involved…that has motivated me to hit the treadmill again so I can keep up with these young whippersnappers. ¬†Our building also has a rooftop pool that is under repair at the moment but we are assured will be open in a few weeks. ¬†The weather here is very changeable at the moment – one minute it’s beautiful and sunny and the next it’s massive storms. So, I can wait on the pool…We are a short walk from a bathing beach in St. Kilda which we are told is absolutely jammed in the summer (December, Jan, Feb). ¬†I learned from our very lovely building manager, Ruth, that the water here is never truly warm as there are arctic currents.¬†¬†Summers can have temps in the 90’s and higher but it’s not humid here and there’s always a breeze so I don’t think it will be anything like the wet heat of DC.

For more pics of the new apartment, visit my PicasaWeb album

That’s all for now but stay tuned for next week when we will attend a dinner hosted by an Australian vineyard owner and a “Newcomers Network” happy hour for expats plus I’ll share my adventures trying to find a sports bar to watch MLB live (at 11 am)