Paseo is currently walking through the book of Luke. I usually enjoy book studies. And in this case, I am LOVING it. When I read through the journey Jesus walked, I’m reminded of two things:

1. I am a Pharisee.
2. The Grace of Jesus gives me a second chance to change that.

Last week and this week is focused on Luke 6. In The Message version, we read the famous Beatitudes like this:

“You’re blessed when you’ve lost it all. God’s kingdom is there for the finding. You’re blessed when you’re ravenously hungry. Then you’re ready for the Messianic meal. You’re blessed when the tears flow freely. Joy comes with the morning. Count yourself blessed every time someone cuts you down or throws you out, every time someone smears or blackens your name to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and that that person is uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—skip like a lamb, if you like!—for even though they don’t like it, I do . . . and all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company; my preachers and witnesses have always been treated like this.”

What is listed above is the exact opposite of what we are taught to be like as strong Americans. Most (if not all) of us can NOT say we’ve lost it ALL, been ravenously hungry for an extended period of time, allowed our tears to fall freely and unashamedly, or found joy when we’ve been cut down and discredited.

We avoid this like the plague. The mere possibility of the list above makes us all uncomfortable. We work extremely hard to control our results, outcomes, possibilities, other people, and our chaotic lives around us in order to avoid discomfort. Unfortunately, many of us find ourselves in this very predicament of “discomfort” due to our controlling behaviors.

I can’t say I’ve lost everything. I’ve lost a lot in my life… but definitely not everything. I’ve been hungry… but I can’t say I’ve ever been “starving” (though I’ve over-exaggerated at times). And I’ve never found joy in being cut down or discredited. In fact, I’ve found myself hurt, offended & angry.

And the more I process this, the more I can confidently say it all comes down to one thing for me: PRIDE.

I care too much what others think of me. And maybe I care too much of what I think of myself. I’ve forgotten what God thinks of me.

So now, my desires must be adjusted.

I don’t think I need to search for ways to lose everything or become starved or to find someone to cut me down… but I think I need to be okay with all that happening.

And when I take a moment to ponder the things… important things I’ve lost, I realized the insurmountable amount I’ve gained afterwards. In the moments of hunger and thirst I’ve found food and drink to be so much more delicious. In the times I’ve cried so many tears I almost drowned myself… the freedom and release that comes next is incomparable to anything else. And in not fighting being cut down and discredited… God has inserted others to build me back up.

In all this, I am reminded of what I really am: BLESSED.

And I want more blessings. So in exchange, I give up control. It’s only my perception I have any in the first place

How about you?
How do you manage the pain to receive the blessing?

I am in this statistic. I am in the growing 25%. I wish with everything I am that I wasn’t.

But here’s the thing. You don’t have to have had an affair or be on the brink of one to feel alone in a flailing marriage.

Maybe you just feel disconnected to your husband.
Maybe you wonder what happened to that “spark”.
Maybe you fight more than you love.
Maybe you simply feel alone in your union.

You’re not alone. We’re talking about it. Well… Cindy’s talking about it and Trish, Lori, Brandi & I will be answering your questions in the chat room. Cindy is one funny chica… I’m serious. Just that alone is worth your time.

Leading and Loving It has made marital health a priority. We are providing a free LIVE webinar on Tuesday, April 10th 9:00pm EST 8:00pm CST. Mark your calendars now. You can read more about it by CLICKING HERE.

Again, it’s a free resource to everyone, but if you REGISTER ONLINE, you’ll get a reminder email (which will come in quite handy when life happens, as we all know it does).

I hope you can make it. Let us journey with you. We’d love your feedback, questions, thoughts, input… all of it.

Are you in?

Anyway… I hope you get a chance to go check out Brian’s guest post (at RefineUs.org) and mine (at LeadingAndLovingIt.com).

Here’s a taste of Brian’s:

I thought marriage would be simple bliss. But in reality, marriage has stretched me and challenged me in every aspect of my being.

From the time I was a young child, I knew I would get married one day. Through childhood programming, I decided that the mid-twenties is the earliest one should be married. So, as I went through my short time at college and then into my first job, I had no thoughts of looking for a wife. It was my time to enjoy life with no serious commitments. Then at 25, I met Jenni and quickly fell for her.

I knew marriage would not be all simple bliss, but I had no concept of how big some of our blind-spots were. Neither of us could imagine the impact of emotional damage that Jenni had endured in her 22 years and still needed to heal from. All of these things were lurking just under the surface, waiting to be exposed through the process of marriage…

… TO READ MORE, CLICK HERE…

And for my post:

… I was hiding the most rancid secret.

Three years ago, I promised myself I would NEVER tell Brian about my infidelity.

Paxton was about to be born (November 6^th, 2008) and I needed to preserve that facade of the perfect happy family. I remember feeling completely empty and comatose inside, but man, I could act. I bottled up every feeling, every epiphany, every unveiling of emotional tragedy I knew I needed to grieve because if I let ONE tear drop, the whole dam would break loose. And I just couldn’t be bothered with that.

Though I still believed that God was powerful and righteous, I’m not sure I believed He was good anymore. I remember wondering if He even knew my name. And though I made a living by singing and leading others into song about God being more than enough for us, the truth is I believed the complete opposite. I told myself God had forgotten me and all I had was myself.

My crappy self…

TO READ MORE, CLICK HERE.

“I’ll pray for you!”

Who knows how many times I’ve heard that in the last 30 years. And though most of the time it came from a well-meaning person, even as a young child, I knew what it really meant:

“Oh, I’m sorry… that sucks! How do I get out of this awkward conversation?”

I won’t lie. I have been guilty of having those exact words exit my lips. And the moment I turned and walked away, I forgot all about that person… till next week when I saw them again.

It comes down to selfishness & lack of compassion.

SELFISHNESS: I didn’t want to squander my prayers away on others because somewhere deep inside I believed I needed to keep all of them for myself. And to be honest… growing up in a dysfunctional and abusive home meant I needed all the prayers I could get. I was running out in my “God Meter”.

LACK OF COMPASSION: I really didn’t care about anybody else. I wasn’t invested in other people’s lives. That’s why I forgot about their situation the moment I left the conversation… I was too wrapped up in my own life to care about anyone else.

Because I was stingy with my prayers, I thought everyone else was stingy with theirs.

It wasn’t until high school when someone finally said “I’ll pray for you… in fact, can I pray for you right now?” AND THEN they kept checking up on me for weeks after that I realized people really DID pray for me. Some people really meant it when they said, “I’ll pray for you.”

And I wanted to be that person.

Not only did I want to be the recipient of other people’s heart-cries to God… but I wanted my heart to cry out on behalf of others. I wanted to be a part of the community. I wanted to care about others as much as, if not more than, how much I wanted someone to care for me.

My age and life has more than doubled since that first time my friend prayed for me right on the spot. And since then, my heart has felt some of the darkest and most intense pains I’ve never wanted to feel. But it was in those times that the intercessing prayer of others became the guide to my only glimmer of hope.

Without people really, truly praying for me & Brian as well as checking in on us, I’m not sure we would have made it.

So with that, I say this: When someone pops up in your head, don’t squander that. In that moment… PRAY. And then let them know you prayed for them.

I also want to invite you to LET others pray for you. The reality is most people wouldn’t offer unless they really wanted to.

So pray… and like 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray continually.” We’re all counting on it.

How can I pray for you this week?

I have none.

Not that I have anything against resolutions or people who have them. I’ve seen many of my friends make resolutions and keep them EVERY YEAR. They’re amazing. But it’s not for me. Not anymore.

Last year, we moved 1,700 miles away from everything we knew. In the last 12 months, we’ve been stretched and worked. And though it was challenging, it was worth it. Every. Minute.

And I’ve learned a lot. A LOT…

… about who God is. That He is exactly who He claims to be. And that He’ll truly provide when you believe you have nothing left.

… about my family. About how courageous they are. About how loving they are. About how forgiving they are. I’ve learned that Brian is my protector, my cheerleader and the center of my every earthly desire. I’ve learned that my life is where he is. And from my two sons, I’ve learned about grace and determination and how to apply that in every day life. My kids are amazing.

… about my friends. I’ve learned how some really are more family than the “family” I was born into and how these friends are part of God’s gift of restoration in my life. If I were Job, these friends would be my second birth family… and I am thankful for second chances.

… about myself. I’m not even close to the same person I was three years ago. And I’m really starting to like myself for who I really am. I’m not saying “I’ve arrived” or that I don’t have stuff to work on. I’m forever a work in progress. But I like myself, maybe even love myself, more than I ever have.

And I’ve learned all this because I didn’t create resolutions I knew I was going to break. Sure, I had some goals… because we all need goals in life… but mostly, I prayed… and I listened. I really, really LISTENED because I wanted to clearly hear that ONE Voice that matters most to me. And when He spoke, and I obeyed… I learned.

2012 is just an extension of 2011. A continued journey for me.

So, no resolutions. No “I promise till I forget”. Just simply… I’m here. And I’m ready.

Carpe Diem. LET’S GO!!!