Jennifer Lee

Black Lives Matter

2020-06-03T18:01:00.002-04:00

I've been trying to write this for about an hour now and I feel like I have so many things to say but everything is just jumbled all together tightly, like a ball made of rubber bands. I guess I'll just start with the facts. I am not black. I identify as Latina because that is how I grew up. I am a person of color and I know that in my roots there is plenty of black in me and I am proud of it all. However, when I walk around I am not viewed as black and for the most part I've never had to mentally prepare myself to enter the world and be afraid because of the way I may be treated because of people's preconceived notions of who I may be because of the color of my skin. I have no idea what kind of burden that is and I will not pretend to relate. I will stand up and say that what grows from that fruit is evil and that it's an injustice that needs to be demolished.

This past week I have been on social media constantly seeing all the police brutality and the out right racism. It's like no one is hiding it anymore and if I'm going to be honest it's startling and it scares me. It bothers me that someone could have so much hate in their heart for someone solely based on the color of their skin. It scares me even more to think about what it must feel like to be black in America. George Floyd was killed in the middle of the street in pure daylight, with people recording. Nothing was hidden and these police didn't care. It's almost like they feel they are untouchable. I understand in the world there may not be many consequences but they don't even reverence the eternal consequences of their actions. I know not everyone believes in God, but that carries weight and whether you believe in God or not what you reap you will sow.

I can feel the anger in me starting to rise again and I really just wanted to let people know that while this is so vile and wrong that what we are in right now is a spiritual battle and the amount of demonic activity that is going on is astronomical. The Word in Ephesians 6:12 says For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. God is bigger than it all though and He is yet on the throne and He is in control. However, it is time for us as believers to stand up and defend the oppressed, more importantly be in our positions with our whole armor of God on and praying. The Word says that the prayers of the righteous avail much and if we can pray for our personal things then we can pray for this too. There's nothing too big for God and that is what I've really been trying to remind myself through this all. It's so easy to get upset and want to lash out but if we really trust God we will keep in mind that He works everything for the greater good and if you really look you can see it happening. I've seen a lot of hate but I've also seen a lot of love. I've seen people of all colors protesting and I've seen how white people are literally using themselves as shields to protect black people and I don't know about you but in my eyes that's the type of love that God wants us to have for one another.

So what now?

Now we find out how we can support our Black brothers and sisters. We find out how we can be an ally and we educate ourselves so we can be a part of the solution. Below are some resources to help aid in your willingness to defend the oppressed and to come against injustice.

Black Lives Matter Website

Ways to Help

All lives will not matter until Black Lives Matter. Listen, Learn and Stand Up.

Until next time... You are loved and you have purpose.

The Unexpected

2020-04-09T09:44:00.000-04:00

“Every one of us lives a life we did not expect to live. We begin with passions and dreams and with the basic conviction that all will turn out for the good, more or less. Some of it does turn out for the good. Most of it, though, is a startling combination of the unexpected and the inconceivable.”
-Richard Goodman

As much as we try to be prepare for life, there's no amount of preparation that can prepare us for what life will throw at us. We can make sure we have everything in order and do all the right things and something will still throw us off. I imagine no one prepared for the current pandemic we are in, yet and still we are called to stand our ground, acclimate and press forward the best way we can.

I've had plenty of moments like this in my own personal life and for a long time I would get so angry with the world because I felt like I wasn't supposed to experience negative unexpected situations. But the truth is that we wouldn't be who we are without them. It's those situations that show us what we are made of and help build our character.

A lot of people, including myself at times, feel like if we are doing the right thing that nothing is ever supposed to go wrong. While that would be amazing in a sense; what would our lives look like if there weren't any situations who help us grow. Imagine how heightened the hysteria would have been if we never had a problem and something like this pandemic happened? Granted people still were in a frenzy, there are people who were just ready to be prepared and tough it out. Those are the people who have used unexpected situations in the past to build resilience.

I truly believe that this world has plenty resilient people and it's all because when trouble comes we grit our teeth and press through. The awesome part is that we don't have to do it alone. God is with us and He is covering us. When we learn to rely on Him, the impossible becomes possible. So please, see the issue at hand and then give it to God, it's the best thing we can do.

Until next time... remember you are loved and you have purpose ♡

Daily Jen: Set Aside On Purpose

2020-03-26T13:00:00.000-04:00

With all this extra time I have now thanks to being in quarantine, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about who I am as a person and who I am becoming. When I was collecting my thoughts to write this post I started to think about how God has always allowed me to be the odd one out. I’ve never fit in anywhere even when I would try desperately to do so; God has always allowed me to be set aside. I despised that as a child because the truth is that it doesn’t feel good to feel like an outcast. My dream as a child was to be loved by everyone and when I felt accepted by people it made me feel like I had worth. I lived a huge part of my life being whoever I needed to be so that people would like me. I believe I was trying to cope with not being accepted by others that I wanted so desperately to love and choose me.

I understand now that God allowed me to be set aside to bring me to a place where I would choose Him. He knows everything about us and He knew that had I fit in with everyone I probably wouldn’t be looking to Him for anything and believing that everything I’ve accomplished in life has been on my own. Reverencing Him would be the last thing on my mind. Even though it hurt so bad it was for my good because I can stand on the Word and with my eyes on heaven knowing that everything I’ll ever need is in Jesus Christ.

It hurts when people you care about write you off and don’t want to speak to you. It isn’t easy to change you past ways. I don’t want to sit here and pretend this journey is easy because it’s not. If you’re in a place where it seems like the closer you get to God the further you are from who you used to be and the people who knew you then, then you are in the right place.

God sets aside His called. The Word says in 1 Peter 2:9 that we are a peculiar people for God’s own possession. That means that we aren’t meant to fit in and knowing this has been one of the many great revelations I’ve received from God. I wasn’t cast aside because I wasn’t loved. I was set aside because I was so loved by God and He was preparing me to walk in what He sent me here to do. God is preparing you for so much more than you could ever imagine but it starts with us allowing Him to complete the work He began in us and to be okay not fitting into the status quo.

Until next time... remember you are loved and have purpose ♡

Motivational Bops ♫

2020-03-24T23:44:00.000-04:00

Praise and worship is my THANG! I love it and it’s my favorite way to spend time with God. I suppose it makes sense since I love to sing and dance. I feel the most free when I can just let go and be my most authentic self with God. It’s so awesome to know that even though I sing horribly it’s still a sweet sound in His ear. There have been many times when I haven’t felt my best mentally and the enemy uses that opportunity to try and trap and keep me in a depressed state. But that’s when I will turn on some of my favorite praise and worship songs and it’s almost instant how every negative emotion just dissipates and God reminds me that He is merciful and that He is my joy and comfort.

Sharing is caring, right?

So since I care for all of you, here are some of my go-to worship and praise songs...

1. Just Jesus - Hillsong Young & Free

2. Reasons - Koryn Hawthorne

3. Masterpiece - Tori Kelly

4. Never Alone - Tori Kelly

5. Ex Nihilo - Andy Mineo

6. Give In - Lecrae ft. Crystal Nicole

7. I’ll Find You - Lecrae ft. Tori Kelly

8. Back to Life - Sunday Service Choir

9. Father Stretch - Sunday Service Choir

10. Unstoppable God - Elevation Collective ft. The Tribbett

11. See A Victory - Elevation Worship

12. Reckless Love - Cory Asbury ft. Tori Kelly

13. Tremble - Mosaic MSC

14. Into the Deep (Live) - Citipointe Live

15. Eyes On You - Mosaic MSC

16. Hunger (Live) - David & Nicole Binion, MDSN

17. Psalm 23 - People & Songs ft. Joshua Sherman

I pray that these songs will bring you joy and comfort as they do for me and just to make it a little easier below is the link to my Spotify Playlist.

Just Jesus Playlist ← Click Here :)

I’d love to find out some of your favorite praise and worship songs. Comment below with yours!

Until next time... remember you are loved and you have purpose ♡

Psalm 23: For Such A Time Like This

2020-03-23T16:58:00.000-04:00

Yea, though I walk through the valley of

the shadow of death, I will fear no evil;

For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff,

they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4 NKJV

We are living in a very fear inducing time. We are in the midst of a global pandemic and it seems like everything we hear about now is COVID-19 and all it's casualties. It's in these moments that it's imperative that we lean on the Word of God. It's so easy to get caught up in the worlds fear and forget that we serve a God who is sovereign and was not surprised by this. What comforts me the most is that like the scripture says, though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil because You are with us. God is with us and like the Good Sheppard that He is, He will never leave us and He will protect us. He is covering us and that should bring us comfort. I understand that it can be hard to wrap your head around the fact that God is in control when everything seems like it's out of control. However, if we lean into Him and are led by the Spirit we will see exactly where He needs us to be, what we should be letting go of and what we need to be aligning with. This Great Pause we are in right now is a moment to recharge and reset, let's use it wisely.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, Your Word says that wherever we go You are with us. Your Word says that You will never leave nor forsake us. In these uncertain times we know that we can certainly count on you to cover and keep us. You are our Redeemer, Healer, Protector and Provider and in that is where we rest and stand on faith that you will keep Your promise and give us life more abundantly. We ask that You cover the world, every nation and all of Your people. Bring healing among the sick, shelter to the displaced, nourishment to those who thirst and hunger and a sound mind to us all.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Daily Jen: Waiting

2020-03-15T19:32:00.000-04:00

I find myself thinking about love a lot lately. Like the romantic kind. Now that I'm knocking at Chapter 36's door I've been feeling like I'm missing out on something very important. I wish I could sit here and say that I'm okay being single and I don't need a man to complete me but the truth is that I long for companionship. Some people that I know who have been in relationships tell me that I'm not missing out on much and maybe their right or perhaps they are speaking from the mistakes they've made that they wish they hadn't.

There were plenty of times when I would try to sooth myself by saying "You can't miss something you've never had" and for a brief time it helped subside the longing in my heart. The truth is though, you don't have to have had something to feel like it's missing. I'm just being honest here. More often than not I feel like I'm missing out on something so special. I see couples in the street who look so in love and I feel so happy for them and I think to myself "Why can't I have that?"

I've even asked God why I haven't had it and the answer I got was "wait." God and I have this amazing relationship where I ask Him questions and He always quickly responds. I know it's always Him because it's almost never what I want to hear but always what I need to hear.

I'll be honest, I don't like waiting, but God's been working on that and teaching me patience. I suppose He's using this to teach me patience as well. I believe what's making me question God about my future someone is the fear that I'm missing out. I see happy couples walking through the park, the beautiful Instagram engagement announcements photos, the cute gender reveals and sometimes I feel like I might not ever have that. The truth is I don't see the other side of it where both people really have to work at their relationship with one another. I'm sure that learning about another person and integrating two lives isn't easy. It's a lot of work that requires... patience.

God's timing is perfect and He knows more about what we need than we do. God knows me and knows that I can be impatient at times and that may be something the person I end up with needs. God never puts us in situations that we aren't equipped to handle and if we pay attention and go at His pace we would see how He is constantly preparing us for what's ahead. He uses trials and space to build us up and add to our character.

So I will wait...expectantly. Knowing that God is molding me into the woman that I need to be and when it's my time He will bless me with an awesome man of God. In the meantime, I'm blessed to be able to build and work on all of the other relationships in my life with my parents. siblings and friends.

So if you find yourself anxious and feeling like you are never going to have something you truly desire that comes from a good place understand that God is not making you wait to punish you. God is having you wait so that when He gives you what you've prayed for that you will be wise enough to take care of it and honor it in the way that He has always intended you too. Keep praying, keep pressing and keep praising because it's closer than you think.

Until next time... remember you are loved and you have purpose ♡

This Is The Sign You've Been Waiting For

2020-03-14T00:56:00.000-04:00

Today is YOUR day! That's right.
You've been looking for something to move you. Something to let you know that there is hope and this is it.

You are freaking amazing! Don't even try to think that you're not and believe it or not you are right where you need to be in this moment.

I understand it may not look like what you thought it would but I promise you this is where you need to be to get to the place you're heading to.

You have so much inside of you that God is going to use for His glory. He's just waiting for you to let Him in. Like for real, for real.

You are loved | John 3:16
You are never alone | Deuteronomy 31:6
You are more than a conqueror | Romans 8:37
You are fearfully and wonderfully made | Psalms 139:14
You are chosen | 1 Peter 2:9

There's nothing too hard for Christ and He loves you so much that He died for you. Seek Him always and just watch what He will do!

Until next time... remember you are loved and have purpose ♡

Psalms: Digging Deep into The Book of Psalms

2020-03-14T00:04:00.001-04:00

I'm starting a devotional and I decided that the Book of Psalms would be a great place to start. The Book of Psalms is one of praise and worship that was written in ancient times. Through it's pages it really encourages us to express our love and gratitude to the Lord. It reminds us of God's sovereignty, how we should always stand on His Word and His faithfulness to us in times of trouble.

The main author of Psalms is King David, among him were other authors such as Moses and his son Solomon. What comforts me the most is that these men; even in their flaws loved the Lord and the Lord did mighty things through them. The Lord was always with them just like He is always with us.

It brings me great joy to know that if God would show the authors of this book so much grace and mercy and He was always with him, that He would do so for us as well. So I'm going to be digging into the Book of Psalms and sharing my revelation and ideas on how to apply it to our lives. I believe that God is about to do something amazing in the earth and it will all be preceded by our praise and worship.

This is just a means of introduction. I am so excited to share this with you and I can't wait to hear how it's changed your life.

Until next time... remember you are loved and have purpose ♡

My Weight Loss Story

2020-03-13T22:39:00.002-04:00

Alright, everyone who loves trying to lose weight say "I"? (crickets)
Yeah, that's what I thought.

I've been overweight my whole life. Rumor is that I didn't have ankles as a baby and I believe it because I barely have them now. I'm not trying to make light of obesity because it is a very serious epidemic in America. However, I try hard not to obsess over it because I have perfectionist tendencies and when I can't be perfect, I quit, and being healthy is not something that I want to give up on.

At my highest I was 394lbs and today I'm 329lbs.

Trying to lose weight hasn't been the easiest. I've tried so many fad diets and spent so much money on workout videos, programs and shakes. I almost even got weight loss surgery but I was scared so I never did it. If I'm being honest sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I would have had it. Would I be thin? Would I still be struggling? Who knows? What I do know is that I was able to get from 394 to 329 so if I'm able to do that then I can do more.

Here's the thing... I have mega issues with food. I hate it but I love it. It comforts me, entertains me, and celebrates with me. On top of that, coming from a Hispanic household, food is our love language. I've honestly considered going to therapy to deal with my issues with food, but finding a good therapist is hard.

I've tried many avenues of motivation. I tried "doing it for me" aka doing it for the gram. I've tried being motivated by proving everyone who put me down wrong. I've tried doing it so I can be attractive to myself and men. None of those things have lasted. So I want to try doing it for God. I want to do my best to practice self-control to please God. I want to get healthy so I can fulfill my purpose and most importantly I want to do it to prepare my body to one day have a child that I will give back to the Lord and teach all about the Lord one day.

The Lord has helped me with forgiveness and my temper. He's helped me learn when to speak and when to listen. He's filled my heart with compassion and empathy where there once wasn't enough. I am 1000% positive that if I give this to Him, He will help me through.

So here's to my weight loss journey and all the amazing and not so amazing things it will bring. I know in the end it will all work for my good and I can't wait to share it all with you.

Until next time... remember that you are loved and have purpose ♡

Daily Jen: Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

2020-03-13T21:05:00.000-04:00

I thought it would be pretty cool to just let out my thoughts and daily happenings here on my blog. I really just want whoever reads this to understand that we all are human and that perfection doesn't exist among humans. I'm not trying to glorify our human nature but we can't just ignore it. There is only one perfect being to ever walk this land and his name is Jesus Christ and He is seated at the right hand of the Father.

I am truly so grateful for the grace and mercy of the Lord, because He knows best that I need it. I figured I'd make this portion of my blog a place to showcase the Lords grace and mercy on my life. I also hope we can see how much we all are alike and just how God is working in us and acquire great joy in that.

With that being said, let's talk about this coronavirus...

I got scared, fear filled my heart and it settled there for a few days. I found myself being so upset that I live in New York City because there's absolutely no way that I can avoid huge crowds. I'd get on the train and when people got close I could feel my heart begin to rush and I would try my best not to breathe (ridiculous, I know). I wanted to avoid going out and I almost called out of work. I was constantly on social media and watching the news and letting it all plant fear in my heart.

Yesterday it all came to a head when my little sister came in from being with her friend and she said her throat was sore. Panic ensued and I started to ask her if she could breathe, if her throat was dry, if she felt like she had a fever. The worst thing I said was "Don't get next to me."

God had to deal with me. I realized then that I was playing right into the plot of the enemy. I was putting fear on a pedestal and forgetting that God is sovereign and bigger than it all. There's nothing that He can't see and the Word in Psalms 91:3-7 says,

For he will rescue you from every trap

and protect you from deadly disease.

He will cover you with his feathers.

He will shelter you with his wings.

His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,

nor the arrow that flies in the day.

Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,

nor the disaster that strikes at midday.

Though a thousand fall at your side,

and ten thousand are dying around you,

these evils will not touch you.

So what am I so afraid of? We are just getting to know each other but I have so many testimonies about how God has protected me from terror and death. If He's the same yesterday, today and always then why would anything change? I had to remind myself of that and when I did suddenly my fear dissipated. God's perfect love casts out fear. I let my humanity and the hysteria all around me change my thoughts on God's promises. It doesn't mean I won't use wisdom and be cautious but it means that I will not let fear settle in my heart where the love of Christ should be. I will lean on Him to get us all through this and stay in prayer for the world and myself.

Until next time... remember you are loved and have purpose ♡

Return of Jen

2020-03-13T19:22:00.002-04:00

Well, what can I say?

My calling scares me and I don't feel qualified. No one knows how many times I've tried to start a blog, I've even lost count. I do know it's probably more than the fingers on both of my hands. I'm writing this now and absolutely no one even knows about my blog. I've changed the template a million times, I've written and rewritten post, this is maybe one of the most scariest things I've ever done.

For a long time now I've coasted through life on the ideas of others. When I say that I mean that I've lived on the opinions of me from the lips of other people. With that being said, not many think much of me. So because they didn't think much of me, I didn't think much of myself. I know this is painful to read because it's painful to write, but honesty is the best policy right?

God has put it on my heart to share my story and share my experiences but for so long I felt like what I had to say didn't matter. But here's the thing... I'd much rather obey God than to continue my life in the way that I have. So here I am... returning to what God asked me to do with my eyes only on Him and a mouth full of truth, both mine and the Gospel.

What people think of me is not my business and Jesus qualifies the unqualified. I have nothing to worry about. I'm sharing this with you because I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world that God is tugging on to walk in what He's created them for. Especially in the times that we are in now with so much division and hysteria, it's important that the children of God stand up and walk in our purpose.

No matter what is we may be going through, when we rest in Jesus and lean not on our own understanding joy always meets us in the morning. No matter what it might look like now, just know that God has a plan for you and that His grace is sufficient to carry us in our lives and calling.

Until next time... remember you are loved and have purpose ♡

33, Terrified, and Starting Over

2019-12-10T16:26:00.001-05:00

At the tender age of 33 I decided it was time to take my life back and get an education. So I enrolled into community college. Prior responsibilities and fear had kept me away for a LONG time.

I'd done the college thing straight after high school but if I'm honest I wasn't ready and I only went so everyone who said I'd be nothing could choke on their words. The joke was on me though, I ended up joining a sorority and caring more about that than anything else. I also acquired a heavy drinking problem and I started smoking cigarettes. Lesson learned? Revenge is a double edge sword.

To say I was petrified is an understatement. All I kept thinking about was how old I was and what the other students would think about me. Then I got there and I blended right in. I don't know why I felt like I wouldn't. It's not like I look like the Crypt Keeper. Thanks to God giving me such amazing genes I actually look younger than my age and no one had any idea I was in my 30's. When I would tell them my age they would freak out, some even asked to see my ID.

Getting carded at school... priceless. #winning

My age physically wasn't really the issue I had to come to terms with the fact that I had it in my mind that people would criticize me for being old and just beginning that part of my life. You see all these people in their 20's and they are doing big things and society makes you think there's a timeline to everything in life and I felt way off of mine.

The semesters flew by so fast and here I am today 35 and about to graduate with my associates in Psychology and I'm on my way to the next college to get my masters. I've made some friends and actually met my best friend which I wasn't expecting at all. I gained so much courage and I feel more myself today then I've ever felt. Age is no longer a factor to me.

Sometimes we have to do things that scare the pee out of us so that we can grow and become who God intended us to be. If you would have asked me 10 years ago where I thought I would be I wouldn't be able to tell you a dang thing because I was lost, insecure, and unmotivated. Now, here I am tackling college and understanding that I wasn't placed here to live according to society's standards. I'm here to shatter obstacles that people before me couldn't and show the world that you're never to old or lost for anything.

Until next time... remember you are loved and have purpose ♡

2020 is Almost Here!

2019-12-09T00:28:00.000-05:00

2019 was one of the best years yet but I'm already preparing myself to walk into 2020 with the mindset that I'm going to really live it up and make this new year better than the last. I'm going to celebrate the good and let go of the bad now so I can be in position for what's coming next. Here are the 3 ways I plan to do just that!

One thing I love to practice is gratitude. It's one of my favorite ways to remain humble. Life can get a little stinky sometimes and the best way out of pessimism in my opinion is gratitude. Taking the time to write down or post a video everyday about what I'm grateful for reminds me that there is absolutely nothing to complain about. Even if there is something going on at least you know you have one thing to be happy about, so taking a "L" won't make you feel like your world is over.

Next... goals, goals, goals! I know it's cliche to make new years resolutions because we never stick to them. I know I haven't (still currently working on my 2007 goal to lose weight) I get it. But when I talk about goals I mean standards. Make a goal for how you intend to perceive your year no matter what circumstances arrive. For example, I always take on others burdens, well I should say I used to. One goal/standard I made last year was that I would no longer take on other people's burdens no matter how bad I wanted to swoop in like Wonder Woman and save the day. It wasn't easy at first but over the course of the year I realized that carrying others burdens was a major factor in how stressed I used to be in years prior. When I set that standard and actively followed through it freed from a lot of things and I am so grateful for it. So just think about it...what kind of goal/standard you plan on having for 2020?

Last but absolutely never least, prayer I had to bold this one because it's extremely essential to maintaining the first two. Having a connection with God is so important. Without Him it won't be easy to maneuver through life and it's ups and downs. He's the one who brings us peace and helps us be patient when we want to act a fool and start clappin' on people. He's also the one who will give us guidance and constantly assure us that we serve a purpose on this earth. Everything we need to know is written in our survival guide-the Bible. Communicating with God will always be the best decision you could ever make.

2020 is bringing a clearer vision to us all. I truly believe that. I want myself and my heart to be positioned and waiting in expectancy for things that eyes have not seen nor ears have heard. I want to be ready for God to use me in such a way that non-believers will be like "She did what? She got what? I know she couldn't have done it...it had to be God!" I want that for all of you too!

So who's ready to do this with me?

Until next time... remember you are loved and you have purpose ♡