• I ran but not every day like I wanted.
• I thought about blogging and even started a list of topics to write about but never actually WROTE anything.
• I took some photos but not as many as I intended and I never did anything with the photos I did take.
• And to top it off, my design muse left me high and dry. No ambition to design whatsoever.

Luckily, I was the January ScrapGirls Club designer so at least it “appeared” like I was still around and actively designing but the reality is I haven’t designed anything since mid-December. I designed Reflections of the Heart back in October. So far in 2012, I haven’t felt motivated to do much of anything. I’ll admit it. It’s been a rough few months. Not to mention that my family seems to be sick on and off since the beginning of February.

I was horribly sick on Feb 1st with a very bad bout of food poisoning. So bad that Rick had to stay home to take Dan to school because I was not able to function. Luckily the severity only lasted that one day but it did take me a few days to truly recover. That weekend both of the girls were sick and Dan followed on Monday with a severe ear infection that kept him home from school for three days – the boy who is never sick.  That was last week.  Jump ahead to this week and I was sick again this time with a head cold that just wouldn’t go away – done for the day around 7pm for 3 days straight. Today is the first day all week that I’ve felt halfway decent. Hooray for small things!

Usually January is my best month of the year. It’s where my full Capricorn comes out! Lots of energy. Lots of ambition. Lots of changes. Just not this year.

So instead I did what I always do when my body and mind are telling me they’ve had quite enough of my abuse and have been run into the ground… I vegged and did nothing for a long time.

Then I got a call on Feb 1st – the day I was dog sick.  I couldn’t even answer the call and let it go into voicemail. That’s when I found out two of my collections were being picked up for scrapbook products due out this summer for a big box wholesaler. Awesome, right? Well.. kinda. One of the collections they wanted was completed. The other “collection”…nope not done. Not even close. Only bits and pieces were designed to give “an idea” of direction. That meant I had to *gasp* design again! Actually open up Photoshop for the first time in weeks…

Where was my muse? She needed to wake the &*@%# up! RIGHT NOW! 

Having to design on demand when you haven’t been designing regularly is HARD. DAMN HARD. Designing on demand is hard anyway but when you aren’t in the right mindset, have a nice flow or can’t find your groove everything comes out wrong. So you nitpick. And nitpick. Still not happy. Finally you have to just deal with it. It’s good enough. Remember good enough? Yeah… this one is going to have to be just that. Good enough.

In the end I believe I do have what they wanted for this particular product. Even though the palette is quite bright and the collection was created with a half a muse…I think it’ll be fine. It has to be.

What else?

On Feb 8th I was able to pay off my long standing business credit card with old Kristy Valshan debt. Yes, I’m actually using the KV word. That word has been taboo for me for awhile. But the harsh reality is that if I pull that thread out and try to undo that period of my life my tapestry unweaves (TNG anyone?) I’ve had about 10K of KV debt hanging over my head since 2008-9. It was such a great feeling to finally be able to pay that debt off completely – and not just pay it off with personal funds (aka using my husband’s income) but actually pay it off with money my business has made. That felt so good and really was a HUGE accomplishment and personal victory for me. One I know I shouldn’t dismiss so quickly.

So now my inner voice is shouting at me “What the hell is wrong with you Jen? Seriously? You had some great things happen already this year and you need to celebrate them. You need to feel good about them. You reached some milestone goals you set for yourself and you need to stop downplaying them. Toot your own horn a little. Appreciate the moment for what it is and enjoy it!“

Too often when the good happens – and even the great happens – I downplay it and am too busy with my eye on the horizon. Always on the next thing. Never in the moment.

A Yoda intervention maybe?

For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.

Most of the time I am serious. Too serious. It’s not focus I need but rather more mindfulness of where I am in this moment and not what I should be doing or what I haven’t done yet.

So I’m stopping today. Enjoying the moment. Enjoying the goodness that has already come this year for me. It’s been a long road and I’ve arrived at the end of this particular journey.

I think I’ll rest a minute or two before I start my next journey.

While the product is cool … the graphic on Idea Paint‘s homepage with all the mathematics formulas is… WAY NERDY COOL! 

I’ll take me some just like that!

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have all that mathematical formula across my entire wall. Can you say math geek at heart?

The kids would absolutely adore this product.  Whiteboard across the entire wall – very interesting idea for a kitchen wall or the wall behind my desk. Hmmm…

I know places like Home Depot and Lowes carry paint like this and chalkboard paint too – but usually it’s just in a pint not in a gallon (although I haven’t been there recently).  I have no idea how it compares in price or quality of usage. The paint from Idea Paint is quite expensive.

But very cool photos of usage…

My main health goal for 2012 is to go back to the gym and lift 2-3 times a week and run the other 4-3 days for a total of 6 workout days every week. January is always a crazy month for me and I know I’m not in the right mindset to go back to the gym and stick with it. This time of year also has all the “new year resolution” people at the gym and it’s always hard to find a machine.

Rather than set myself up to fail right off AND to coincide with my 2012 “Good Enough” plan, I have decided to run ONE MILE every day during the month of January.

Just ONE MILE every day. That’s it.

I can do that. It’s only 15 minutes. It’s only 1 mile.

When Feb comes, I’ll make the decision whether to increase my mileage (probably to 1.5 miles every day) or not. Slowly but surely I’ll get to my year goal of being able to run 3.1 miles without stopping.

My old running shoes have taken a beating. I had been good and using them only to run. But then in December I started wearing them every day and they are worn out. So for my birthday Rick’s parents bought me a new pair of running shoes.

I have high arches and underpronate. I had been running in the Asics Gel Nimbus 12 but those aren’t carried anymore as the new version 13 is out. The Nimbus 13′s just don’t have enough area in the toe for me. I decided to try the Brooks Glycerin 9 this time. I’m not sure what I think yet. My calves have been sore the past two days but I think that’s because I haven’t run in so long (or done any form of exercise). My body has a tendency to hurt a lot the first week or so after I start exercising again. lol!

Here’s a look at my bad boys.

As part of my RUN ONE MILE A DAY plan, I am using the Photos 365 iPhone app to track each day. I had seen another blogger (can’t remember who) post a digital calendar showing her shoes for every day she ran. I thought that was a great idea and would be easy enough to do with my iPhone as I head out.

The Good, The Bad and the Have You Lost Your Mind?

I bought a full length mirror a few months ago with the idea of forcing myself to look at my entire body length more (not just look at my face in the bathroom mirror). I am definitely not one for looking at myself in the mirror – I tend to avoid them – but I thought this was a good way for me to keep myself on the weight loss path.

Earlier this week I had texted a friend this photo (Oh.. now don’t laugh. I’m sure you have texted weird s##t like this too.) It’s amazing what you kid yourself into believing. As I was sending this I thought “My thighs don’t really look THAT bad.”

Now jump ahead to today. As part of my running journey I wanted to take a “before” shot. So much for not looking THAT bad…

I can’t believe I’m even going to post this damn photo but I want to share more of my personal journeys on this blog. Hopefully this will help me be more accountable to myself. I mean… if this damn photo is out here then I sure as hell am going to work to have an “after” photo to eventually go with it. Right? Right?  Yeah.. right!

I’ve always carried more weight in my upper legs and stomach. I guess I’m a pear shape.

HATE IT!

I also have a big “Kim Kardashian” bubble butt. Always have. I don’t think I’m going to get rid of much of that. But if I can slim my legs down in general I’ll be much happier.

So hopefully by the end of January I’ll see some improvement… with my long term goal of seeing a nice improvement come this summer.

Just ONE MILE every day. That’s it.

Hope to see you on the road!

2010

2010 was the year I came to terms with my failed business partnership and dealt with the emotional aftermath of that “divorce”.

• It was a year of healing. I had lost my way. I had lost my drive. I was depressed. I had completely lost myself. Who the hell was this person? It certainly wasn’t me. I had been hurt so deeply and my recovery process was painfully slow.
• It was a year of reflection. How had I gotten to this point? What part did I play in all of it? Could I have prevented it? Why did it happen in the first place? Could I have chosen better path for myself?
• It was a year of decision making. What did I really want to do? What would make me happy?
• It was a year of rebuilding. Where did I want to go from here? How was I going to get there?
• It was a year of rediscovery. Where was the “professional” I used to be? Did I still have any design talent? Was I even any good anymore? I had so much to re-learn.

2010 was a very hard year for me.

2011

2011 was my year of moving forward.

At times it doesn’t feel like much happened in 2011.  But looking back I found that I really did accomplish a lot of great things last year. More than I thought I did.

• I designed. A LOT. I got back into designing on a regular schedule. I found some mojo along the way. I designed more in 2011 then I have in all my other years in the digital scrapbook industry combined – going all the way back to 2005. That’s how design intensive 2011 was for me.
• I paid off old business debt. I found a design home with a top digital scrapbook company and as a result have been able to pay off some serious business debt that I accrued trying to get my failed business partnership off the ground.
• I scrapped. I scrapped over 100 layouts last year including printing and putting them into a 12×12 keepsake binder. This was a wonderful accomplishment for me.
• I cleaned. I got my house under control. I did some major house clean-up in 2011 and put myself on a regular maintenance cleaning schedule every Monday. I felt good because my house felt good.
• I exercised. In July, I started working out regularly again. I set a goal of losing 30 lbs by my birthday (Jan 7th). During this time I started running again. I certainly didn’t set any barn burner run times. But I was out there doing it. Regularly. Running. ME!
• I lost weight.  While I didn’t reach my weight loss goal of 30lbs, I did lose 17 lbs.

Even with all that, I’d have to say the biggest accomplishment of the year was that I moved forward and stopped looking back.

2012

2012 will be my year of letting go and start saying “good enough” more.

• I will stop holding myself to unrealistic goals and standards.
• I will let go of my perfectionist nature.
• I will stop over analyzing everything before I do it.
• I will try more things.
• I will create more for myself than for a paycheck.
• I will keep “good enough” control over my designing.  My collections can get out of control quickly and often I find I can’t stop designing.  ”Oh it needs this one more thing” and before you know it a collection that should have 40-50 embellishments in it has 75-90 embellishments in it. Basically TWO collections in one. Overkill.
• I will take more photos (and be IN more photos).
• I will learn more about photography.
• I will scrap more “everyday” stories of my family.
• I will let go of my personal web store.

That last one was a very hard decision for me. I started thinking about letting my personal store go back in November. Maintaining both a personal store and my ScrapGirls store was not working. Over half of the products in my ScrapGirls store never made it to my personal store. It was just too time-consuming for the little it was generating even with having help (thanks Nikki!).

The reality is I have more exposure and financial potential with my store at ScrapGirls and need to be focusing all my design effort stocking and promoting my products there. When I joined the design team back in April, I wasn’t mentally ready to take the leap of faith and give up what I perceived as control. But almost a year later, I’m now ready.  It is simply a better use of my time and money.

As part of letting my personal store go, I have also switched over my design blog to JenReed.com. During the next year, my goal is to blog more in general including sharing more photos of my family. I’m starting everything over. Fresh new blog. Fresh new start. Feels good.

“Good Enough” in 2012

My 2012 “good enough” journey begins today. I’m turning this blog on live even though I haven’t added all my collections to it yet and I only have one post on it. I’ve spend the last week or so working on getting the basic look how I wanted along with getting the blog to showcase my products in an easy to maintain way. So I feel the blog is “good enough” to go live. So I’m jumping in.

This journey won’t be easy for me.  There will be times I will fail as I am too much a control freak and perfectionist. I will definitely have to keep reminding myself.

• “Good enough” does not mean half ass.
• “Good enough” does not mean unprofessional.
• “Good enough” does not mean being sloppy.
• “Good enough” does not mean not striving for excellence.
• “Good enough” does not mean excuses.
• “Good enough” does not mean giving up.
• “Good enough” does not mean failure.

Good enough simply means that I will not torture myself by setting ridiculous expectations. I will be kinder to myself. I can be a high achiever and not an unrealistic perfectionist.

• So what if it takes me longer to run a mile?
• So what if it takes me longer to produce new products? (I will not be working myself like a dog this year.)
• So what if it takes me a little longer to lose the weight I want to lose?
• So what if it takes me longer to do <whatever>?

So what?

I’m moving forward and that’s all that really needs to happen.  It’s going to be good enough.

My first computer was a Texas Instruments computer.  I remember programming it to do some stupid cool animation tricks when I was only 13. From that point on, I think my path in computers was preordained.

My business background includes web and graphic design with some programming thrown in there.  I have a bachelor’s degree in both mathematics and computer science.  I have been designing websites since about 1996. (yes, I know that’s about the birth of the WWW… age me?)

In 2000, after the birth of my twin girls, I began working from home and started my own web design company, RTech Solutions, Inc. By 2002 RTech had gone from solely a web design company to primarily offering web hosting packages for at-home businesses including hosting one of the first digital scrapbooking websites (which is how I discovered digital scrapbooking). By the end of 2004, I was more than a little burned out from the 24/7/365 web hosting industry and sold my company a month before my son was born.  I soon began working on non-webhosting ventures under my new company Libracorn Corporation.

I’m not very crafty in the traditional sense but I fell in love with the “digital” side of keeping and sharing memories. In 2005, I began designing my own digital scrapbook products and shortly after opened up my first online store. Over the years, I have co-owned a few digi stores and have assisted with “behind the scenes” support and tech work at several other sites (once a computer geek always one I guess… lol!).

In 2007, I stepped out into the art licensing arena and started licensing my designs with a business associate under the name Kristy Valshan, Inc.  I’ve had licensed products featured in Archivers, Sam’s Club and CR Gibson. At the end of 2009 my partnership came to an end and I started designing again under my own name brand. I pursue licensing opportunities for my designs when time permits.

In April 2011 I joined the ScrapGirls Design Team and now sell my digital designs exclusively at ScrapGirls.

I have a passion for being creative digitally whether it be through web design (even coding), graphic design or scrapbooking. For me they are all creative outlets and I love that I can tie all three with my first love – computers!

Thanks so much for stopping by! I look forward to sharing my designs with all of you!

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