I found these a while back, I didn’t write them but they are gems of business advice.

Parable 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”
“It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.
“Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story :

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Parable 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak” Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Parable 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”Puff! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.”

Puff! He’s gone.

“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Parable 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,

Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”
The eagle answered: “Sure , why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high > >> up.

Parable 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the
energy.”
“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Parable 6:
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep , it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

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This two-part series is two hours of heart-wrenching stories and a sick realization of what some people go through daily. You should listen to these stories, it’ll give you perspective and an absolute appreciation for where we live.

With 16 security guards for 550 approximate students Harper High School is still understaffed when it comes to security. How many security guards did your high school have?

Everyone in this neighborhood is in a gang. You can’t avoid it. Whatever street you live on signifies what gang you’re affiliated with. If you don’t want to have any part of the gang interaction you have to stay in. Literally. They talked to one boy who hadn’t left his house at night for several years. Could you imagine going through high school without leaving your house at night?

By the sounds of it, This American Life picked the worst high school in the United States to do a story on but that’s hardly the case. The end of part two is a chilling realization of what high school is for some kids. You must listen to the end.

Give it a listen, you won’t regret it.

Part One Harper High School

Part Two Harper High School

Photo Credit: This American Life

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2. Episode #16 – How Do You Teach “Business” in High School? Feat. Jordan McFarlen
3. You Can Listen to Others or…

Your doubts are liars.Your fears are thieves. Stop them now: bit.ly/UVvuof

— Robin Sharma (@_robin_sharma) January 26, 2013

I found this video that Robin Sharma had Tweeted the other day. It really is worth your time to watch. It’s called How To Think Like A Superhero.

Robin Sharma wrote one of my favorite books The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and the best selling The Leader Who Had no Title.

In the video he talk about thinking like a superhero. His thesis is that super successful people, CEOs, celebrities etc. aren’t more special than you or me but that they have a far superior work ethic than the average person. He says at one point that these successful people he’s interviewed and worked with can accomplish in a day what most people do in a month.

The secret to success is that there is no secret to success, there’s no way around it, you have to work hard at it. But if you do work hard, and focus on a goal, you will accomplish it.

You should pick up some Shwarma and sit down and read some Robin Sharma.

(Photo credit: http://fullmetalcynic.wordpress.com/2008/01/17/when-real-life-becomes-a-superhero-action-movie/)

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“If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about life today?“

One of the best answers was:

Really makes you think about how far we’ve come and yet so many people never really use the internet to its full potential.

What do you think?

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I am your constant companion.

I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.

I am completely at your command.

Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed, you much merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons, I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great men and women and alas of all failures as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. I am not a machine, thou I work with all the precision of a machine, plus the intelligence of a human being.

You may run me for profit or run me for ruin, it makes no difference to me. Take me, train me, be firm with me and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?

Your habits.

-Anonymous

When I first read this I instantly loved it. In life on our way to achieving our goals we have the choice to develop habits that propel us in the right direction or habits that drag us down and push us in the opposite direction. It’s ultimately up to you to develop the most positive habits throughout life, they make all the difference.

Thanks to Mitch Gallant who found this for me.

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I knew when it got warmer out I would need more fluid in my car. The past couple days have been nice out and I’ve been using my windshield washer fluid quite sparingly because I though soon I’d have to stop and do the whole windshield washer fill er upper rig-a-ma-roll. But as I used more and more of the precious liquid on my dirty windshield the low windshield washer fluid light didn’t even flicker. This couldn’t be, what was going on. I was perplexed. Was my car producing organic windshield washer fluid?  Could you even imagine?

That wasn’t it at all.

I went for an oil change a couple weeks ago at Quick Lane in Regina. They had filled my car with windshield washer fluid without telling me.  This time I really appreciated that. You might think it’s pretty common among oil change places to do that but they also give you a coupon for a free car wash so the next time you get your oil changed you can get a free car wash as well. Double awesome.

I like getting things that I don’t expect to receive, I bet you do too. If you want to delight customers and make them come back again and again, do something they’d never expect.

Good on you Quick Lane.

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Make your message bloody specific.

If outdoor billboards are part of your marketing mix take a lesson from TheWeddingFair.ca. I saw this in Calgary the other day. The most prominent part of the billboard is exactly what they want you to remember. Their website.

They respect your time by not trying to tell you everything about the event.  If you don’t bombard people with information, they like that, weird hey? The simplicity of the billboard makes it stand out on a busy street. You could argue the billboard is not only simple but also unexpected if you’re talking about Chip and Dan Heath’s book Made to Stick six principles of sticky ideas.

If you’re advertising, make it incredibly clear what your goal is. Obviously the website is the most valuable piece of information to take away from this billboard.  From there you can look up anything you would like to know about the event.

Don’t make the classic mistake of trying to include more information than you have to. This goes for ANY of your marketing material. You should always ask before you publish/print “does all this information really need to be on here?” the more critical you are the better the end product will be.

Good on you TheWeddingFair.ca

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Sometimes you can’t trust the experts, sometimes you have to trust your gut and stick to your guns.  Billy Bean  could have lost his job, but did what he needed to do. He was stubborn, unreasonable, down right crazy at times, but he knew it would work.

Innovation is based on measurement, calculated risk.  Innovators aren’t more risky than the average person, they just calculate risk in a different way.

The owner of the Boston Red Sox says to Billy Beane:

For forty one million, you built a playoff team. You lost Damon, Giambi, Isringhausen, Pena and you won more games without them than you did with them. You won the exact same number of games that the Yankee’s won, but the Yankee’s spent one point four million per win and you paid two hundred and sixty thousand. I know you’ve taken it in the teeth out there, but the first guy through the wall. It always gets bloody, always. It’s the threat and not just the way of doing business, but in their minds it’s threatening the game. But really what it’s threatening is their livelihoods, it’s threatening their jobs, it’s threatening the way that they do things. And every time that happens, whether it’s the government or a way of doing business or whatever it is, the people are holding the reins, have their hands on the switch. They will go bat shit crazy. I mean, anybody who’s not building a team right and rebuilding it using your model, they’re dinosaurs. They’ll be sittin’ on their ass on the sofa in October, watch the Boston Red Sox win the world series.

Billy Beane essentially created a disruptive innovation in major league baseball by using statistics to make better decisions. This didn’t come without a price, it wasn’t easy, almost everyone around him at the time told him he was wrong. He had faith to see his plan through.

How will you…

1. Recognize where using data can give you an unfair advantage against your competition
2. Recognize an undeveloped disruptive innovation in your industry
3. Recognize when to force adoption (for the greater good) instead of giving people a choice (Billy Beane traded away Carlos Peña so that the only option to play first base would be Scott Haddeberg)
4. Recognize and standup to naïve experience

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A $20,000 logo isn’t going to fix your branding problem.

A commercial isn’t going to solve your awareness problem.

A newsletter isn’t going to solve your customers not caring problem.

Sending a flyer in the mail isn’t going to solve your no one orders from us problem.

Taking an ad out in the phone book isn’t going to solve your no one’s calling problem.

Interrupting your customers with more e-mails isn’t going to solve your they don’t buy enough problem.

The first step is admitting you have a problem (this is the hardest part).  The second step is defining what the problem actually is.  The third step is a realization that you aren’t going to solve the problem on your own.

You’d be surprised at how many people and businesses can’t get past the first step.

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Episode 21 with our Westcoast, fashion, marketing, HR, running and yoga Correspondent Jillian Walker.

You all remember Jillian (how could you forget her?!?).  She’s always good for an entertaining conversation.  Oh and I’ll warn you on this one, there is a wee bit of swearing, so don’t listen to this on the family trip up to the lake with the kiddies.

Follow Jillian on Twtter

Running time: 45:40

In this episode we talk about:

What is UrtheCast?

It’s actually this project where they’re putting a camera on the international space station and broadcasting a real-time video of the earth on www.urthecast.com, crazy hey?

Do you use Pinterest?

People getting generic engagement photos always love to share them online.

How our world is changing from generation to generation.  She introduces me to the concept of “Pretirement”.  Not traditionally waiting to retire but doing so in a way where you can live out your dreams while still working in a nontraditional sense.

Why she believes in “surrounding yourself with the people you want to become.”

She explains “you’re the sum of the people who you hang around the most.”

We talk about this blog post: Life…..Filtered.  In how our lives are really a product of our own self imposed filters.

We find out about her one weakness, she’s gullible.

Where she get her news from other than Twitter.

What she’s reading now.  We discuss 50 Shades of Grey.

Manuscripts found dating back before the Bible was written were erotic stories, that’s correct, ancient porn.

The problem with the generation following us.

People with entitlement issues.

When to get an MBA and the value of it today.

Jillian’s opinion on furthering your education.

I talk about the book The Coming Jobs War and the central thesis of the most sought after aspect of life is no longer food and shelter but having a good job.

We talk about this blog post Nightmares, My Normal .  You see, Jillian has nightmares regularly, you should hear her story.

I bring up the story of the guy who was haunted by a reoccurring nightmare for 20 years and how he used lucid dreaming to stop it from happening anymore.  A fascinating story to listen to.

What she struggles with the absolute most.

Jillian share some great advice:  “Never let the things you want make yo forget the things you have”

See the first podcast I did with Jillian here:

Episode #15 – Everything You Wanted to Know About Why HR Sucks – Featuring Jillian Walker

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