Saturday night we couldn’t quite agree on where to eat but we all agreed that we’d be eating out. The kids wanted Laurel Tavern but they don’t really understand that it’s a bar. So they don’t understand that on a Saturday night no one wants them there. Further the place is packed and loud and Laker-y.

So we drove past Laurel Tavern in an effort to show them why we wouldn’t be eating there, looped across the street to Lala’s which was uncomfortably crowded and finally landed at La Loteria which I was sort of angling for because I wanted a good margarita with tamarind and sour salt. Mr. G hates Mexican food and it was shitty of me to make everyone go there but I was feeling selfish on Mother’s Day Eve.

We ended up at La Loteria and the only thing worse than the food was the service. The margarita was excellent but I could have made that at home. Serves me right.

I woke up Sunday at 9ish. I just lounged in bed and padded downstairs in the most leisurely way. Alexander and Mr. G headed out for a 10am baseball lesson and I ran to the farmers market as they have an amazing blackberry vendor there and I just wanted to eat blackberries until my teeth turned an unnatural color and I looked like a hillbilly, black teeth and all.

While at the farmers market everyone kept wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day. I didn’t have any children with me. I made a mental note to step up my game, even on a Sunday Morning. I bought my blackberries, my eggs, strawberries and tamales. Everything was organic except the tamales and they’re pure crap for the kids. Fat and sugar to keep them happy. Snooty fat and sugar, but fat and sugar nonetheless.

I came home from the Farmers Market and the four of us turned around and went for a hike. I sunscreened my face and neck. It was a great hike but I’m sunburned, I even have a white mark where my ponytail was.

After the hike we rolled right into Umami Burger. Amazing burgers coupled with hideous service. If you ever go to the store in Studio City either sit in Brooklyn Carlos’ section or get your food to go. I tried to not be annoyed by the servers but it’s hard. They’re just so bad. I broke my “no grain” diet and had a half a truffle burger and I swear it was worth it. They are so amazingly delicious.

After lunch we headed home and I spent two hours floating in the pool sometimes reading sometimes dozing. The kids played in the pool and I looked at them both popping through the surface of the water together and had a striking moment where they actually looked alike and my heat swelled to the size of the moon and I felt so lucky that I love my family so much and that they love each other.

By 5 it was time for Alexander to go to baseball practice and Jane and I took a quick shower and went to see Dark Shadows. It’s a terrible movie. I wanted to leave after 30 minutes but I didn’t want to ask Jane to go in case she was enjoying it. Of course it was only after the movie ended that I realized she’d have been happy to leave too. The best parts of the movie aren’t the plot or the actors, it’s all the last scenes and some special effects that truly are special.

It sounds like I didn’t enjoy the movie. I didn’t enjoy Dark Shadows but I did enjoy just being with my daughter and relaxing. It was still a great day.

At 7.30 we headed for dinner and met up with my Mom for LA’s best lobster. There’s this divey little restaurant in Reseda that makes the most amazing ginger lobster. We waited about a half hour for a table and drank the worlds cheapest chardonnay from tiny little bottles, but I was with my Mom so it was all okay. We exchanged giggly gifts and were home by 10.

Alexander fell asleep in his baseball clothes. He’s old enough that his father needs to be the one undressing him. That felt strange and bittersweet.

Then Mr. G remembered my gift. It had been outside and I’m not sure how I didn’t see it but it was exactly what I wanted.

At 8 this morning I started by reading the assembly instructions. I realized quickly that I had to buy a socket wrench with  1/2″ and a 3/4″ socket attachments. I went to OSH and had everything unpacked and ready for assembly by 9. By 9.15 I had overenthusiastically broken the first screw. Ratcheting adds power I suppose.

I was back at OSH 15 minutes later trying to find a nut and bolt to replace the one I’d broken. One of the men there helped me find a 1.5 inch replacement and I thought it seemed a little short and I’d considered picking up a two inch replacement as well since it was only an extra few cents but he convinced me that he was absolutely correct and there was no way in the world the bolt would be too short.

45 minutes later I was back at OSH getting a two inch long bolt. It was getting late in the morning.

An hour after that I had this.

I’ve had compost piles and compost bins, but I’ve never had a compost tumbler and I’m so excited in part because I love my tiny little garden but also because I cringe every time I throw out scraps.

I had the perfect Mother’s Day and I had the perfect Day After Mother’s Day because I got to play with tools all morning.

Does this help or hurt attachment parenting?

In an effort to make my teenage daughter hate me (because really, what other motive could I have?). I gave Jane two options regarding her cell phone at night.

Option 1: She can leave her cell phone plugged in downstairs

Option 2: I can add back parental controls and after 10pm she will only be able to call or text me, her grandparents and 9-1-1.

There is no option 3.

We had tears and threats. I wasn’t spoken to for two solid hours. If you’ve ever met Jane you’d know how meaningful silence is. This is a child who needs to communicate to feel alive.

“It’s my phone.” She wailed, “You treat me like a child. No one else’s parents do this.”

And I was horrified. “They don’t? Well they should.”

I went on to explain to her that there were two scenarios (two is my favorite number in this discussion). The scenarios are as follows:

Scenario 1: The other kids do have to give up their cell phones at night but don’t want to talk about it because they’re embarassed.

Scenario 2: The other kids’ parents are making a mistake.

There is no scenario 3.

With a not fully developed frontal lobe teens are notoriously poor decision makers. Add a little sleepiness to the mix and there’s just no good reason to allow a cell phone into the bedroom at night. There’s the obvious nudity issue, but there’s also something a little less terrifying that leaves a big mark on their lives. Sleeplessness.

Adults who sleep with the phone by the bed suffer from sleep deprivation. Our kids hardly get enough time to sleep with school starting so early in the morning, why give up an extra hour (or more) at night?

Jane doesn’t seem to know yet that I’m chaperoning her volleyball team for five days in June. I’ve already let some of the parents know that my plan is to have all the cell phones in the adult room at night. I’m pretty sure it’ll go over like a lead balloon but unless someone else wants to take up the chaperoning baton it’s my rules.

I can’t wait to have a dozen 13 year old girls not speaking to me. I can almost imagine the silence.

My friend Yvonne was having a Healthy Child Healthy World event at her house from 10 to 12 and I figured I’d just get there as quickly as I could and maybe have an hour with my girlfriends.

At the very last minute my 4pm appointment turned into a noon appointment and the shoot was cancelled. Of course I had it in my mind that I was showing up at Yvonne’s house at 11 and I wondered if it was even worth going because I’d be there for just 30 minutes. If you’re paying attention you see the problem already.

I left in plenty of time to get to Yvonne’s house at 11 but there was construction and I got there at 11. 15 feeling really anxious about having just 10 or 15 minutes to stop in for a hug. Everyone was in the yard eating pizza and salad and I was like, “When is the demonstration?” and Yvonne patiently told me it was at 10. Which is when I immediately corrected her for not knowing what time her own party began and I just stood there confused.

I asked what I’d missed and the big thing was that kids with asthma should not be in the kitchen when you are cooking with a gas stove. Something is released into the air that irritates their airways. I’d never heard this but I also don’t have a child with asthma so it’s unlikely I’d know it. Now you know.

I gobbled some salad fast and ran off to my noon appointment. When I got there I signed in as a visitor and part of the sign in process is a pretty informal NDA. So I definitely am not telling  you that I had a meeting at a company that sounds like oogle. The meeting lasted about an hour but I think we could have chatted for three easily. I left there to go to Whole Foods in Venice.

Can I just say that on any given day if I had a thousand dollars to spend at the Whole Foods Market in Venice or at Barneys I’m not sure which one I’d choose. That market is spectacular.

I grabbed a tuna roll (no rice just greens) and felt horrible about it. Every time I eat tuna my brother asks me if I’m happy eating it because it might be the last tuna in the ocean. And I know that it’s terrible for me. Probably full of mercury and definitely not a sustainable catch but it’s cheap and easy and it’s absolutely everywhere. Plus according to scientists most of our fish is mislabeled anyhow so it’s possible I was eating dolphin meat. Hooray?

I wisely don’t grab a cart and leave Whole Foods having spent just $8.99. I am annoyed when the cashier doesn’t give me the penny back. I always tell them to leave the penny in case someone needs one but I am bugged that she didn’t offer me my money. She also asked me a lot of questions about my food, rolling it around in her hands and wanting to know what the ingredients are. It’s dolphin meat bitch, now give me my penny.

I eat and drive to acupuncture. My right hand is resembling a claw but since beginning acupuncture I have taken NOT ONE narcotic. How’s that for hocus poke-us? Eating in the car is horrible and I try to keep tons of water there because it’s easy to mistake thirst for hunger but I console myself in knowing that I’m three days into a sugar free and grain free lifestyle. Not even corn. I’m living on lean meats and green things with just a tinge of crankiness.

After acupuncture it’s time to get the kids. Jane has volleyball and Alexander just wants to play Pokemon with his friends. I’m relieved to see a large group of kids playing, it’s such a strange thing to be into that I want to know that it’s not just my son.

I go home freshen up and head out to Digital LA where I’m to be on a panel of Mommy Bloggers. I know. I cringe because of the Mommy thing and I show up anyhow because Ciaran will be there and Ciaran is smarter than I am so I go where she goes.

I stop at Tiffany & Co. to pick up a gift for my sort of niece who turns 16 this weekend. She’s a good girl and 16 is a big deal. I spend too much.

The panel starts late and ends later but we do get to play PacMan while we’re waiting. The room is hot and we’re the second panel. Most of the men leave, this is to be expected. The ones who are left behind are the smart ones. The first group will pay to work with Felicity Huffman or whatever other celebrity hired someone to run a website. It’s a different business they’re in. I try to not be offended but I remember that I don’t actually have any overlap with these folks. Or maybe I do?

I’m home at 10.30 and the kids are sound asleep. There’s a pain in my chest because I’ve missed an evening with them. I know it felt like it was important to be out, but when I get home I recognize that I never should have left. I wanted to be there. With my family.

After looking at the staff page I’m guessing that the “culture” they’re referring to is the culture of 20 something caucasian men. Which is fine, but it’s a narrow field of vision and there’s so much privilege in there that it might be difficult for these young men to actually understand consequences.

So I thought I’d address them here. Similarly to how they addressed my friend Calvin Lee (but I’ll leave out the threats of violence).

A recent post by the editor in chief begins by stating as fact:

By now everyone knows that Klout is terrible.

Well, that’s not entirely true. In fact Klout has some really great points to it. All measurement will have a downfall here or there but adults know these things. A discerning reader would know that this post is now a straight opinion piece. Right? Because a reputable site would mark it as such or they’d be worried about things like integrity and lawsuits.

Not those kids at Uproxx, they’re too indy for that.

In paragraph two the writer (actually the editor in chief) makes some assertions about the Klout algorithm. It’s adorable and I want to pinch his chubby little cheeks. Especially when he uses an asterisk instead of spelling out motherfucker… because that is hardcore. If he was right about the algorithm it might have been cuter.

By way of disclosure I know this to be true because I have a loose affiliation with Klout that makes me part of the Klout Squad. They’ve given me a tee shirt and a water bottle. Look at me, I’m rich.

Paragraph three starts with this:

Take, for instance, this guy — Calvin Lee — mentioned in the journalistic blowjob Wired recently gave Klout. He exemplifies everything that is wrong with Klout and the people who care about it.

Yes, Brett Michael Dykes is criticizing Wired Magazine’s journalistic integrity. I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in. Brett Michael Dykes asserts that Wired Magazine needs help with their journalism.

Stop laughing so loud. It’s hard for me to concentrate when you do that.

So far this is all very ranty and does nothing but make the writer look like a petulant child. The site clearly has a large (the media kit says 3 million a month) but very narrow readership and one can only suppose that their readers will grow out it very soon.

Here’s where I have huge problems with Brett Michael Dykes. Read this:

I hope Calvin Lee — who follows 80,000 people on Twitter (following an impossible number of people for a human to actually follow is another way to raise your Klout score, naturally) — gets eaten by a grizzly bear. No, seriously, I really do.

Brett. I know you’ll see this because the internet is actually quite small. You’ve called Calvin names and I’ll go to my grave defending your right to do that. What you should not do, and what no one should ever do is use their bully pulpit as a place to call for the physical harm of another human being.

I understand that you were trying to be funny by saying a grizzly bear should eat Calvin. Unfortunately it’s just plain threatening.

I don’t want to make too much of this by saying that Uproxx threatened Calvin Lee’s life or livelihood. I do know that posts like this make it dangerous to be Calvin and I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some level of legal remedy he could seek.

It’s also probably worth noting that Calvin is a beloved figure in the Silicon Beach tech scene and is known for helping people launch their businesses.

We know that Uproxx is basically a blog with a bunch of contributors. Journalists, investors and lawyers, I’m asking you the tough question. What should Uproxx do?

1. A butler
2. A Bentley
3. Chickens (not in my freezer either)

So I’ll have to suffer through with the small luxuries I’ve become content with.

Here are a few items every Mom Blogger is dying for.

A new computer.

I’ve been testing out the ASUS All In One PC ET2700INKS at $1500 it’s not cheap, but it’s beautiful and it’s fast and Windows 7 is a joy.

A smartphone, specifically an iPhone 4S. Three of four Gottliebs have the 4S and we’re all delighted with it (the fourth Gottlieb is just too young). I switched to Sprint recently. It’s reliable and cheap but very slow. I’m trying to decide if I care or not.

A subscription to Birchbox. Birchbox is a sampling site where for $10 a month (or $110 a year) you get samples of makeup and skincare. I bought Birchbox for myself and for my daughter and we filled out our beauty profiles. Her boxes delighted her, mine delighted me. We also got far more than $10 of value.

(thanks to Sarah Burns for the Birchbox image)

If your mom loves gardening go to your local nursey, pick out some flowers or summer fruits and veggies she might love and the appropriate potting soil and spend some time with her planting them. I love gardening and I love my family, what would be better?

Speed! If you can’t swing the pricetag of a new computer (or you don’t want to) there’s something that every Mom Blogger needs and few will treat themselves to. It’s SPEED.

The folks at Crucial have made RAM easy and if your computer is limping along a little extra memory may just be the shot in the arm that makes it work well. My memory was under $200, easy to find, easy to install and doubled the speed of my laptop (okay I have no numbers to back that up but it feels like it’s going 8000 times faster so I assume it’s double because I’m prone to exaggeration)

Either Or had three storefronts. You’d enter on the lowest one because the street was on a slant and then when you’d finish up in that room you’d walk up two small steps to the next room and then two again to the top. There were plate glass windows, benches, carpeting, the smell of the beach and cats. I never loved the cats but I loved the combination of warm rooms and sea air.

I loved books and I loved sushi and I looked forward to those Friday evenings. On the best ones we’d still be slightly sandy and perhaps a little sunburnt from a day on the beach. The sunburn would leave me cold so I’d get to wear a sweatshirt in the summertime.

Sometimes my mother would be in a good mood and we’d get more than one book. Sometimes she’d be positively giddy from sake and I’d get as many as I could fit in my arms.

I remember the night that I discovered the mystery section at Either Or. I flipped through the first few pages of The Glass Key and I knew that I wanted to read this book. The mystery wasn’t in the pages of it, but rather in why adults loved these books.

I couldn’t wait to read adult mysteries. I’d long ago abandoned Encyclopedia Brown and Nancy Drew. I was adult at thirteen.

So when I took the kids to hear my Kindergarten classmate read his newly published book at Skylight Books I wasn’t surprised when Jane picked up a book of poetry by Sylvia Plath. I wondered if she’d read it. It wasn’t an inexpensive book and I suppose I was so relieved that it wasn’t the Bell Jar that I just tossed a credit card her way and hoped for the best. I wasn’t giddy from sake but from a fellow Beach Kids’ success.

I was in Jane’s room this evening and the book has scarcely been cracked. I’m not sure it matters if she ever reads that book. I never read The Glass Key but I memorized it’s cover.

Exercising with arthritis is like fast forwarding your joints about 40 years. The elliptical that used to be your BFF for low impact days actually hurts your hips. HIPS, like the thing my grandmother broke.

Want to lift weights? Forget about it on a rainy day, my hands are simply not up to the task.

The first week that I worked out with Loren I was just trying to find my rhythm. I’ve become competent in a few basic exercises so that now we can get through a circuit. Although I clearly chose the trainer that’s best for me I noticed that all the trainers at 24 Hour Fitness are using circuit training to some degree. There’s one guy who is always there at the same time as me and his trainer is either trying to make him Mr. Universe or trying to kill him. They do just about everything I do except with massive amounts of weight and he’s got like no body fat.

Circuit training is when you go from one exercise to another and keep your heart rate up. It sort of kills two birds with one sweaty stone. It’s an aerobic workout and it builds strength.

If you have RA like me working with a trainer might be more necessity than luxury. It’s very important to build strength and to keep unnecessary weight off your frame. Our joints are wearing out faster than people without Rheumatoid Arthritis so we have to be proactive in protecting them.

There are two things Loren and I have been focusing on: core strength and balance. These are my two least favorite things because they are hard for me. I’m like everyone else, I like to do the stuff I’m good at and I love to avoid the stuff that challenges me.

One of the circuits that I do for core consists of the following three exercises: Russian Twist, plank and V-set. I do 40 of the Russian Twist, 40 seconds of plank and then 40 seconds of V-Sets. Then we repeat that two more times for a total of three runs through the circuit. I often do this first with Loren BUT I don’t meet with him until I’ve done 10 minutes of cardio, so it’s not from cold. This is a great circuit to do at home and I’ve included images of a modified plank. RA hands and wrists just aren’t up to the task of supporting my whole body weight.

I’m including two pictures and a video of me exercising that are extremely unflattering. I do everything for you people.

This is plank for RA.

My elbows are under my shoulders and my heels are at a 90 degree angle. I’m probably not doing this perfectly so I’ll ask Loren to make a quick video of the three exercises together. I’m supposed to be squeezing my tush but I’m not ready to guarantee that I was. Also, it’s really hard for me to do this without holding my breath. I need to work on that.

This is what a V-Set looks like

Basically you keep your feet up and your core engaged while pulsing your arms up and down. It is positively exhausting and my form falls apart quickly. It’s fantastic to have a trainer for this exercise.

Here’s a video of the Russian Twist. I want to add a disclaimer that says something to the effect of my belly is all scrunched up so it looks extra fat… but the reality is that my belly could go down a bit. So I’m going to suck it up and cry mean girl if anyone but me mentions it.

The comments and ratings for this absurd video have been disabled.

Yes, in the short term there will be some growing pains. If you live in LA County you know that we are in desperate need of better public transportation. If you live in the city of Beverly Hills you should ask your housekeeper, she knows that we’re in need.

This hysterical (not in the funny way) video has made it’s way onto YouTube. Since you can’t leave your comments on YouTube I’d love to hear what y’all think here.

We pack the dog and the kids into the car and head off to school. The dog doesn’t actually require packing, he just hops in the car and waits for us. He loves a drive to nowhere.

I glance at my daughter who is quiet. Since turning 13 she is seldom quiet. Her eyes are heavy and glassy. I ask her if she needs to go to the doctor. She does. It’s a 12 minute drive to school and about 15 minutes back to the house, we drop the dog off and it’s another twenty to the doctor. I am dressed for driving, not for getting out the car and I arrive at the pediatrician wearing workout clothes and crocs. I’m not ready to guarantee that I’ve brushed my teeth, certainly not my hair. It is the second time in a short window of time that I’m taking the mom walk of shame.

The pediatrician is a friend and we spend too much time chatting. It’s good to see her and even better to confirm that Jane doesn’t have strep throat and that a lot of kids have had this lately with most of them missing just one day of school.

We return home just at 9.50 and I have a conference call at 10. I call the number and they want to skype. I’m irritated. I download skype and then start walking all over the house with it so that a producer could pick a good spot for morning light.

It was overcast yesterday morning and it my house was a mess. Figures.

The internet cuts out. It’s just gone. There’s red blinking light where there should be green and I’m hitting reset and unplugging and maybe cursing under my breath a little. I email my contact at AT&T Uverse and I know from experience that I either get an email back immediately or never. I got an email this morning, 20 hours later. Not exactly helpful.

Mercifully I have a Clear connection so I used that with a laptop. I taped a few seconds for the producers and then went to upload the video at 10.30. I needed to leave the house by 10.35 so I’m yelling instructions for Jane about what she can and cannot do while I’m gone.

I take the laptop with me and decide to work while my friend is at his appointment. I pick him up and as he’s at the plastic surgeon having his wounds examined, taped into place and moved around his head I’m in a stunning waiting room in my outfit of defeat with my cell phone in one hand and my laptop groaning to upload 20 seconds of video at .5 mbps an hour.

After endless tweets to @ATTCustomerService I get a phone call. He assures me he will take care of this and then wants to put me through to someone else from repairs. I explain to him that I’m not home to troubleshoot. I don’t tell him that I’m next to a woman in a turban of white gauze and that it’s clearly the day after facelift day. The drain on her neck makes me want to vomit.

He promises to follow up, he assures me that things will be taken care of. I don’t believe him but I’ve got stuff to do and I’m trying to get through my emails while my friend is seeing the doctor.

I call home to chat with Jane and the home phone just rings and rings. I think that’s odd and I try her cell phone. It goes straight to voicemail and I remember that she’d forgotten it in her locker the day before. I shrug because she’s a competent child and the neighbors are home and know she’s there.

Two emails catch my eye. One is a congratulations you are the #1 mom blogger and they have some questions for me. I can’t even answer them, but I flag it for follow up. The other is from HLN and they want me to go on Prime News again to talk about tweens and facebook. I pick up my cell phone and confirm with HLN because I want good hair and makeup.

It’s a 3.10 hit (that’s TV speak for when you have to be on camera) which means I need to be there by 2.30. I have an appointment with the trainer at 1, so I text Loren and ask him if he’s free at 12.30. I bring my friend home from his appointment and  I get home  at 11.55, check on Jane who appears to be just fine and ask her why she didn’t answer the phone. “It didn’t ring.” She told me.  I checked every phone in the house. No dial tone. My home phone is a landline and my internet is Uverse. They aren’t even on the same bill. This is not supposed to happen. I am frustrated and I’m running out of time.

Loren has agreed to train me at 12.30 and I’m trying to keep my cool. I’m still tweeting, emailing and calling AT&T. The phone calls are useless. A recording gives me an appointment for Saturday from 8am to 6pm, an angry woman in Florida keeps me on the phone for 13 minutes before transferring me to a phone tree. I am defeated. I should have hung up with her after the fourth minute. I throw some pasta into Tupperware, grab my TV clothes and some shampoo and drive to the gym eating penne along the way.

Jane promises to keep Alexander’s cell phone at her side and I try Lamaze breathing. I am not going to get mad. I’m just not.

The workout is amazing. Loren puts me through the paces. This was the eighth session and I feel like we’re getting our groove. I know a few of the exercises well and we’re doing circuit training so the better I know them the faster we go. I’m winded and having a great time. My body is getting stronger and my head is clear. I’m not ready to end after an hour of circuit training but I force myself to the locker room where I shower and start to get dressed in my TV clothes.

I have no bra.

I have a bra but it’s the bra I just worked out it. It’s positively drenched. Now I’m half naked with my hair in a towel blow drying my workout bra so that I can wear it under my new silk shirt. I cannot catch a break. The smell of warm workout sweat makes me queasy.

I get to CNN just in time and Judy and Michelle are the only women I need. I just fall into the chair like a puddle and I know they’re going to make my outside not match my inside.

Vinny Guadagnino was there taping with Dr. Drew. It looks like it was a good episode, I guess he wrote a book. Well, if Snookie can be a bestseller why not Vinnie?

I got the good camera this time and I think the segments were some of the best I’ve done. I had a few stutters though because when Vinnie Politan asked me about cell phones and kids at night I wanted to say:

Just get them AT&T cell phones and there will be such craptastic service that the kids can’t possibly use them at night.

But then I thought better of it and talked about the fact that every major cell carrier has some sort of parental controls available for nominal fees.

I tried calling my guy at AT&T. It went straight to voicemail. I sent Direct Messages to the customer care account and there was no reply.

AT&T was going to ignore me. They were going to teach me a lesson.

I left the CNN building and picked Alexander up at school just ten minutes later and he was engrossed in a game of Pokemon. “Mom,” he said to me in a conspiratorial tone, “I’m not proud of this, but the guys got me really into Pokemon.”

“Weren’t they playing Pokemon in the 2nd grade?” I asked.

“That’s why I’m not proud of it.” He said. And we both had a chuckle.

I got home and called the phone number from the social media guy who had called me in the morning while I was at the plastic surgeon’s office. It goes straight to voicemail. There is no chance that I’ll have internet service or a home telephone.

Then I go nuts. I’m spamming the hell out of twitter and if you follow me there this is my apology to you for flooding you with AT&T messages. But only after asking people to retweet me was I able to get a response that worked.

I ended up with phone calls from people who sounded less like receptionists and more like executives and shortly thereafter a tech came to the house who was breezy and competent and I was ready to set him a place at the dinner table.

Oh and did I mention that I also managed to get to Whole Foods and the drycleaner. I put together a perfectly lovely dinner and then after dinner I ran to Pavillions to stock up on paper goods and Tide.

I am SuperMom hear me snore.