His chocolate eyes light up. He runs to me open arms. She hangs back, looking a little shy. Or is it the other way around?

I’ve pictured meeting them thousands of times. The children who wait for us, nervous and anxious in Ethiopia. Will they hang back in trepidation, worried that another mother will die and go away forever, a new father will abandon them again?

I stare out over the mountains ripe with Ponderosa pine and Douglas fir, thinking about the fire scare we had, but I know that for a forest, fire is life. The soot and ash left behind by destruction is fertile ground for seeds to incubate and new life to break forth.

Our view from here in the adoption journey is hope and joy.

Their reality is loneliness and fear.

Can two polar worlds collide and teach each other? That’s the hope, that through this broken process of adoption, the abandoned find family and the downtrodden receive redemption. One broken family is soot on the forest floor, the very life giving source for a new beginning.

I’ll never prove it in a first hug. We may not convince them with ten thousand I love you’s but whatever it takes to show them they are wanted, whatever hardship to prove they are precious we are ready. We’ve waited and sacrificed and waited some more, submitted our home and our bodies to invasive study to be proven suitable to care for these gifts. After all that and hours upon hours of research, classes and study we’re ready for the reunion. Are they?

Abandoned. Such an ugly word. A choice. But because of it a unique family is created. Because of tragedy new life is born. Their roots grew in the ashy soil of a different life. It will forever be a part of them. Now it’s time for us to tend the forest and bring them up out of the destruction, thankful for the struggle that made them ours.

Five Minute Friday – View

The post Adoption Redemption appeared first on Blog Schmog.

Some days are plain discouraging. Some trials are too hard to handle. Many days threaten to upend us. Many failures will easily defeat us if we don’t have courage to continue.

I’ve been sick over the tornados and all the hurting in Oklahoma. I’m overwhelmed by sickness all around me and in me, by my struggle in waiting for our children who are still thousands of miles and many months away and I’m overcome by the tasks of managing a home, raising my children who are already here and many more burdens.

Can you relate?

In the face of tragedy and death, discouragement and defeat we often want to hide and quit but those who persevere  have gone on to witness miracles. The miracle of hope, and peace in the storm. Not to trivialize the immense hurting but I want to share some encouragement in the midst of this awful time.

Eight of my favorite encouragement Bible verses:

“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2-4 NCV

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

“So the helpless has hope,
And unrighteousness must shut its mouth.” Job 5:16 NASB

“I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:2 NASB

“If my people, who are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14 ASV

Be gracious to me, O God, be gracious to me, For my soul takes refuge in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge Until destruction passes by. I will cry to God Most High, To God who accomplishes all things for me. Psalms 56:1-2 NASB

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Matthew 6:34

What is your favorite verse in the face of discouragement?

Watch this short video and see many famous figures who have facesd defeat that should have stopped them in their tracks.

The post Eight Encouragement Bible Verses appeared first on Blog Schmog.

My international agent calls me the queen of adoption grants writing. She said I need a crown (haha) and I should write a post to help other adoptive families navigate the grant and fundraising stage of adoption. So for you, I’m divulging all my secrets to help you get noticed when you write adoption grants.

 Click here to read about our adoption journey.

1. PRAY: It’s totally in God’s hands. Allow him to open the doors He wants to open and keep the ones shut that should remain that way. He knows many adoptive families can afford to raise more children once they’re home but don’t have massive amounts of cash sitting around. That said, consider the cost and be willing to make big sacrifices. We’ve literally surrendered our house and have decided to say yes to God even if it meant moving. Although that’s the worst thing we can think of it doesn’t do anyone any favors to not consider your bottom line. So step one, pray and totally surrender. Be all in or don’t do it.

2. APPLY: That’s not a secret, Jessie. Sure it is. Here’s why. I’ve heard so many families deciding before they apply that they won’t be picked simply because their adoptive children are not special needs or because they’ve already received a grant. My mom always said, “Can’t never did a d*^n thing.” If you don’t apply you’ll never know. Check the requirements carefully. Some foundations do fund special needs only but older children and mild imperfections qualify as well as heart defects, downs syndrome and more. Other foundations will not award a grant until you have been invited by your children’s birth country to travel and some want to see you 50% or more funded. So just do it. Apply for all that you can.

3. REFERENCES: Just like a job resume you want good references. Choose wisely. Some people may love you dearly but not support adoption. Other people are emotional thinkers and have past baggage that could cause them to interpret things differently. A person’s past, their childhood and their experience with foster children or adoption can greatly effect the way they see the process and their personal baggage can hurt your reference even if they are supportive of you. Their tendency to see emotion over logic are big factors in how they’ll write a reference. You want honest references from people who have known you a long time and seen you in a variety of situations. Don’t be fearful if they’ve seen you at your worst, you aren’t trying to hide anything but be sure you know where they stand on adoption and parenting and ask them to look at the big picture not one event when they encountered you on a stress filled day. Give them a sample letter. Ask an adoptive friend or use a job reference as a guide.

4. COPIES: I asked for signed copies both hard copy and email version of the references so I wouldn’t have to bug my references as often. Some grant foundations require a sealed envelope and other want the letter attached as a word document. I also recommended that my friends save the letter on their hard drive for later & I saved a copy as well. Remind them and give them a heads up when they are receiving specific grants. Call and say, “Please be looking for a reference from _____Foundation.” Then ask, “Is it possible for you to return it in one week?” At one week call again or email and see if they were able to do it.

5. ORGANIZE: I wrote all the grants on one weekend, put them in manila envelopes and addressed them. I put them in a pile based on the date they were to be sent with sticky notes saying when they were due and what was left to compile. The internet ones were the most difficult to keep track of. I put a cover sheet in my stack for these so I wouldn’t forget about them.

6. CALL: I made phone calls to check in and see if I needed to do anything else and asked whether my references had arrived. For those that couldn’t offer us a grant I called to ask if we could reapply. Everyone was very nice and super helpful.

7. THANKS: I’m not done with this step but I want to follow up with the grants even those that said no. We’ll send a family picture and a thank you to them for all they do. Some grants request a note for their website and/or pictures of the children. Do your part to follow up and thank them for their hard work.

Have I missed anything? Add your tips in the comments below.

The post Seven Secrets to Writing Adoption Grants appeared first on Blog Schmog.

I like telling stories, so today you is adoption stories day. Enjoy.

Friday we had appointments at the Department of Homeland Security Immigration Department to get our fingerprints done for a form called the i600a which is part of our USCIS adoption petition. At least I think I’ve got that right.

At any rate Matt had to take the day off so we could make it into downtown Spokane (the big city round these parts) for our appointment as soon as the office opened at 8am. He doesn’t take time off work and he reminded me as he left to take the big boys to school, “We can’t be late!”

So while he was gone I got the little three ready and stuffed a couple match box cars in my purse.

When he pulled in we loaded up and took the 45 minute drive to find the unfamiliar office. I had Googled it but neither of us were confident where it was.  Downtown Spokane is a maze of one way streets and in the block were the USCIS office is the buildings are odd shaped, built on the curve and in the corner of a triangle corner.

At about four minutes to eight my husband had had it. We’d gone round and round and weren’t able to spot the building so he ordered me out at the corner. As my feet hit the ground he said, “Call me if that’s it, I’ll park the car.”

Too late. I shut the door and my phone was on the seat.

He roared off and I scurried into a nearby building. “Is this USCIS?”

“Is it what?”

“Immigration.”

“I have no idea where that is. Try the courthouse.” The lady pointed across the street so that’s where I went.

The guard at the door greeted me with a grin. “I.D. please and preferably yours.” He must have had a pot of coffee for breakfast.

I put my purse on the belt and stepped through the scanner explaining about the rigid belt/cast I have to wear because of my fractured pelvis.

“That’s no problem but I’m not sure about the dump truck in your purse.” He pointed at the screen,  ”We might have to conduct a search.”

I laughed nervously, “You’ll see who those are for in a few minutes. My husband is right behind me.”

His eyes widened mischievously.

“They’re not for my husband!”

He directed me to the elevator. I hurried, wondering if they would bump us for being late. I got to the office which looked like a large closet at the end of another room with signs everywhere. I poked my head in the room since the door was wide open. No one greeted me. Just an empty room with some cubicles and office machines.

I backed up quick and started perusing the signs. One prominent sign on the door had an arrow pointing into the room but below the arrow were the words Do Not Enter!

No kidding? I almost broke rule number one. I read on probably with a dumb look on my face. A man appeared from inside the room where I thought no one had been, “Do you read English?”

“Sure! I mean, yes.” I stuttered, “I mean…I was trying to read all your signs here.”

He pointed a beefy finger at the arrow. “This is for the doorbell.” Then he closed the door slightly and I saw that the arrow pointed at a button beside the door. Had he seen me peek in?

I started the paperwork and Matt showed up within minutes. “I hope I don’t get towed.”

His tone sounded exasperated but I didn’t have time talk. We finished our paperwork and fingerprints before I got to ask what he meant.

“I had to park in a Catholic church parking lot.”

Photo Credit: Mike Tigas via Wikimedia Commons

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Did the guard at the door raz you?”

“A little.” He barely smiled.

I let him run ahead to see if our car was still where he’d left it. I passed a sign on the way into the parking lot, Cathedral of Our Lady of Lourdes parking only. Violators will be towed at your expense.

Our car was still there. I smiled.

When I caught up to Matt, putting kids into the car, he looked like he was beginning to breathe easy again but he complained, “You guys are going to give me an aneurysm. I don’t run late and I don’t break the law!”

“Break the law?” I laughed and laughed.

He put his hands in the air and said with great dramatization, “Thank you Our Lady of Lourdes!”

I laughed even harder.

What an adventure we had getting fingerprinted for our adoption.

When have you needed to choose to see the humor in a stressful situation  Have you been successful or is it as difficult for you as it is for Matt?

Share a mud moment of your own on my Facebook wall HERE!

The post Me and La Migra – Adoption Stories appeared first on Blog Schmog.

I don’t feel brave but it’s growing on me every day.

I wake early to little footsteps and the hollow sound of a woodpecker in the old lightning struck tree above the pasture. I wish it wasn’t so early. My legs ache and my head is foggy but I get up anyway.

He wants a “mana”. So I peel the long yellow fruit and stick him in his high chair.

There was a day I thought I might lose him but God’s protective hand was there. It wasn’t my smarts or strength that kept him here with me but simple grace. Unmerited favor. I know God has a plan for Him and in that frightening moment He had a plan for me.

The moment I thought I’d lost my fifth-born son God taught me to let go of control. He proved to me that I am a mother not because of who I am or what I do but because of who He is.

That very second God let me live my biggest fear and survive.

Brave is being a mom, knowing I choose God’s will for my life and knowing that this life is not our destination. That in wholeheartedly being a mother I lose my heart more every day and that the more kids I have the higher chance there is that I will usher one to heaven before me and knowing that it’s okay, He will be there with me and in Him, we survive.

Five Minute Friday – Brave

The post Biggest Fears and Bravery appeared first on Blog Schmog.

Crickets in the tall grass.

Tree frogs no bigger than your thumb. You can hear him from a quarter mile away.

The sound of a bee collecting nectar and the horses blowing puffs of air through their lips.

The stamp of hooves on the soft dirt. It rumbles the ground beneath.

I sit for a while on the warm earth.

The shade of tall evergreens lean into me and I wait.

Buzz.

Whir.

Swish.

I wish I would listen more often.

And to think I grumbled about needing to fix fence today. It’s a chore. I complained. I’ll have to hike. I whined. It’s hot. Another excuse. But once I surrendered to the life I’ve chosen I remembered why I live her. Joy and peace awaits in the afternoon in the country. A peek into the mysteries of life all around. From the tiniest ant to the draft horse in my pasture.

I don’t like fixing the fence that the pony breaks over and over but I sure love the country and I’m glad doing the chores reminded me to breathe today.

Country life comfort. I love it.

Five Minute Friday – Comfort

The post Country Life Comfort appeared first on Blog Schmog.

Sometimes parenting is a drag.

My kindergartner chastised me today because the walk in pantry smelled like “booty city”.

I’m not the one who goes poo in my diaper. The smell was thanks to his littlest brother. I didn’t have a chance to run out the trash when I changed a diaper on the fly, wading through a sea of laundry, while up to my elbows in dishwasher suds.

How do you sort through the madness of being a parent?

How do we treat our kids like Jesus would and still maintain the house and our sanity?

Why do some moms make it look so easy and will I ever be her?

These questions and many more are addressed in Lead Your Family Like Jesus: Powerful Parenting Principles from the Creator of Families. I’m especially excited to tell you about the book now because for those of you with e-readers it’s on sale now.

Through May 5th, 2013 the Kindle edition is only $1.99! 

Click the book image to order:

The authors, Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges and Tricia Goyer use personal stories and real life examples to bring the points home. But it’s not just personal testimony. Each chapter has a lesson and a challenge and at the end reflection questions for yourself or small group discussion.

Don’t believe me? See what other people are saying.

Kurt Bubna, “Pastor and Author-I LOVED this book! It’s filled with practical wisdom and godly insight. It will encourage and challenge you to grow and become the best parent possible. Sometimes books speak to our hearts . . . sometimes to our heads . . . this book does both.”

Cara Putman, Mother and Author-”This book is practical. It’s about giving you tips and strategies — without piling guilt on about one more thing you aren’t doing right. So if you’re desperate for some fresh insights or you just want to recharge, this book with its short, practical chapters will be a great addition to your parenting library.”

A Canadian Mother- “I highly recommend this book for every Christian parents out there. It will be a blessing for your family to read this book.”

If you could instantly change one thing about parenting what would it be?

The post When Parenting is a Drag – Best Parenting Book Yet for Only $1.99 appeared first on Blog Schmog.

I used to vehemently reject friends. I had plenty of excuses but the simple answer is pride and prejudice. Haha! Okay for real? Except for my one best friend, whose birthday happened to be yesterday!, I would say, “I don’t need friends.” “Women are complicated and back biting.” “I don’t get along with women.” “No one is like me.”pro

Any of these sound familiar?

God started to challenge me, instead of seeking friends for my benefit, if I was so good then why not BE a friend.

I started seeking someone I could put some energy into. But it still needed to be someone I could relate to, someone I liked, someone LIKE me.

That failed pretty much right away. It seemed all the “girls like me” felt the same way I felt and the more I pushed the faster they ran.

Suspicious pretty much sums up the “girls like me”.

Then I met Debbi, a woman not at all like me. Or so I thought. I wrote about her here in an article for women’s ministry called Don’t Friend Me.

She had a clean house, grown kids and probably liked pink!

Debbi started to chisel away at my layers just by being real.

Her clean house became my house whenever I needed a quiet place. She loved the outdoors like me, almost all the animal mounts on the walls in her home were animals she had killed herself. This was not the woman I knew  she was. Debbi even told me one day when I was sharing about why I didn’t need women that “she didn’t like women either.”

My dear friend is now our women’s ministry leader and one of my best friends. She is like a big sister to me.

Why?

She let me in. She in’t afraid to share when she is confused or frustrated  I’ve seen her in her PJ’s with a messy house and we’ve played together, going yard saleing and walking.

We NEED friends girls! We don’t always need the friends we pursue though. See if God might have another appointment for you this week. Try allowing a friendship with someone unlikely.

Let me know how it goes! I’m so passionate about this topic I could go on an on but the time’s way up.

Five Minute Friday

The post Not More Friends! appeared first on Blog Schmog.

The church building was quiet as I tiptoed in, hoping to be unnoticed. The stares that met me, made me realize that my plan had been thwarted, but the coldness in the stares was what caught my eye. I shrank in my seat, but my baby’s happy giggles again attracted the attention of the stern glances and one woman approached me to let me know that my baby was disturbing the prayer.

As I sat outside, relegated to the hallway, I glanced down at my homemade dress, the best I owned out of the three dresses that I had in my closet. Simple. Plain. Odd in most people’s eyes. Yes, it was all those things, but it was the only thing I owned that was clean and neat.

The people that sat in there, praying in a loud, unison, group prayer at the top if their lungs, could not be disturbed to care for a young woman that just needed some encouragement. The comments as they filed out of the church and greeted one another, burned into my soul as one woman commented that I did not look very happy. “You must not be a Christian?” she queried, looking down her nose at me. The frustration with the hypocrisy I suffered from, burned me inside. I wanted to scream. Rant. Rave.

“You try being happy after spending 3 hours in the hallway with a baby that just was making happy noises, after being judged for my lack of fancy apparel.” But I didn’t, I smiled meekly and went on with life, never letting the woman know how her words hurt.

It is the little things that count.

Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in.  If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? James 2:2-5, NIV.

How we judge others can effectively hinder or prosper the gospel of the Lord. We often have seen people that are dressed differently than us or believe differently than us. It is natural of us to assume we know why they are how they are. I am sure that the women in that church simply believed that I had no care for how I looked or dressed. They believed they knew why I was that way. If they had asked, I may have told them that not only did I not have a vehicle to get to a store to buy clothing; I did not have any money to buy it with. The only money we had was used to purchase the small amount of food that would have to last us a month. I was so thankful for the clean, neat homemade dress, as it was not stained, patched or otherwise inferior to what I had been wearing.

Think before you judge.

Do you know why that young woman or young man has chosen the path they are walking?

Some people are called to a different path than you are. Some people are called to walk a more obvious path than you are called to.

We are all not created the same or called to the same walks of life. I recently wrote a blog post on “How to stick out like a sore thumb?”

I got more blog traffic on that post than any other post, I have ever written.  I wrote in a humorous way on some of the things that make me very different than much of society, and how I am okay with that.

However, in real life, it is not often as funny. We all know the person that sticks out like a sore thumb, we feel sorry for them, but sometimes wonder why they just can’t get their act together.

Let’s strive as we live on this earth to do a little less judging in our minds, a little less speaking, and a little more doing things that might actually reach out to those people that probably know they are different and might just need a friend to sit with them in that lonely hallway. Or even someone to just ask them to go shopping once in awhile!

A kind word goes a long way.

Thank you to my dear friend Martha Artyomenko for this transparent post about making friends and judgement.

Who do you need to embrace today?

The post Outcast or Friend – Guest Post About Friends and Judgement appeared first on Blog Schmog.

A pair of bright blue eyes and a nose with a smattering of freckles peers at me from the edge of my bed. I lift my head from the pillow, my own eyes still glazed over from a restless night, and prop in on my hand.

“Are you awake?” he asks.

“I am now.”

“Can I get up?”

I chuckle, “You’re up.” Then I stretch my aches and pains. Many more show up these days though I don’t feel old enough to have them. Ouch, I groan.

“Are you still sick?” I still see only eyes, nose and a pair of hands that are loosing their baby chub.

“Nah, it’s just my broken hip.” It sounds stupid but how do you explain symphysis pubis dysfunction to your son, just one day over six years old? How do I explain it to myself? The physical therapist called it a trauma separation  the doc called it a fracture and blamed it on too many babies. Whatever the case it pains me at night especially but I can’t explain it. I try. “It makes it feel like I don’t want to get up.”

“But are you gonna?”

That makes me laugh. “Yep.” With great effort I roll, pressing my knees together then lift them with my free arm. The other arm is busy pulling on the headboard to get me leverage to get off the side of the bed. I place my feet into slippers lifting on knee at a time with my hands.

I hear my other two sleeping beauties jump out of bed, their feet hit the ground with a thud and they’re skipping across the room and bounding down the stairs before I’ve got both my slippers on.

My position these days gives new meaning to jumping out of bed.

Thank the Lord his mercies are new every morning. I pray for healing and I pray for the endurance to handle this trial just for today because it’s the only day I’ll ever have.

Today is all I need worry about for tomorrow has enough worries of it’s own. If I’m stuck like this forever I know I can handle it if I take it one more day forever.

Five Minute Friday-Jump

The post One More Day Forever appeared first on Blog Schmog.