Jillian Bickle Photography |Cobourg and Northumberland Area Photographer | illustrating your life story

mom

admin — Mon, 14 May 2012 00:56:13 +0000

I am told that smell is your best memory. I don’t know how many times I have stood in your closet, closed the door, closed my eyes and buried my face in your shirts. Your smell is still there, and I try to breath in as much as I can. I wish it could fill me up, make my heart stop hurting, even just a little. But when I open my eyes and look around, I realize I’m standing in a closet full of clothes and shoes – lots of shoes – that you will never wear again, and I wonder why I’m drawn into this room. I guess I miss you so much, I will settle for smelling you.

You’ve been gone for 52 days, and it feels like forever, and it feels like moments. I guess the first year is supposed to be hard….all the first that you go through. This is the first Mothers Day that I don’t have a mother to celebrate it with. I don’t know how many times I’ve caught myself about to pick up the phone to tell you something, or walking through a store and finding something that I think you would like, or sitting down feeling defeated cause I don’t have my mom to call and ask advice about. My gardens have already suffered. I have begun doing my spring clean of them, and have not had you to show me what is weeds and what is perennials. I know that I have yanked out a few things that were expensive. I feel sorry for your gardens, cause they are next. Hopefully you are there over my shoulder guiding me, or they might end up a bit more sparse!

I miss your peanut butter and honey sandwiches. Nobody makes them as good as you did. Nathan has tried, but doesn’t come close. I have craved them many times over these past few weeks. I miss watching you overload your hamburger with condiments to the point that everything would spill out and over your fingers. It was so gross to watch, but now I would love to see it again. Or how you would have a bit of icecream drowning in caramel sauce.

I miss you. I ache to have my mom back. I struggle with the fact that you will never hug me again, listen to my problems, and give me advice. I never realized how hard it would be to loose my mom. To have so many unanswered questions. I never knew I could be a ball of anger, frustration, devestation, sadness, guilt….all wrapped up in one. I never knew it was possible to cry so many times a day, every day. Or to feel so alone. I hate hearing that things will get better, that it gets easier, that I’m strong and can deal with this. I know these things, but right now, it sure doesn’t feel like it. I wish my mom was here this mothers day.

But I do find comfort in my children. I find comfort in being a mom. At an early age I’ve realized how important a mother is to their child, and how important it is to build strong relationships and lasting memories. Your death has taught me how much I am intertwined with my children, and how much they depend on me to be there. I hope this mothers day, all those moms out their realize how important their role is, and that all the children out there appreciate their moms. We try out best, and hope that in the end, it’s good enough.

Mom, you were good enough. I miss you. I love you. Happy Day mom. xox

]]>

Isla | Cobourg Photographer

admin — Fri, 11 May 2012 02:43:39 +0000

Isla came down from Guelph for her photoshoot, and I have to say, she’s as cute as a button!! There’s already plans for her return so we can go outside and do some fun family shots. Here are just a few!

baby on the way | cobourg photographer

admin — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:23:56 +0000

When Iwas doing this maternity session, I was asking how these two met…..Taco Bell. I couldn’t help but laugh, especially since it involved dancing on the table! This mama is a very active mom and told me that she is due on the 13th and has to work up until the 11th…..and it looks like she’s going to make it! (fingers crossed). Here are a few, with newborns shortly to follow.

Sweet little Fairie

admin — Mon, 07 May 2012 14:48:29 +0000

I love when parents come in with ideas. This mom brought her two kids in for the gone fishing set up, and asked if at the end I could get a shot of her daugther in a tutu that is similar to what I did. I love the shot, I think it turned out great! What’s even better, I was presently surprised with this tutu and a beautiful blue one in the mail last week from this mom. Angela makes tutus and more, her website is http://www.princesstutu.ca you should check it out, such awesome work! Thanks Angela for the gifts, they made my day!

Jack Crilly | Cobourg Photographer

admin — Fri, 04 May 2012 14:33:50 +0000

This little man was adorable. Didn’t see his eyes once. Dad was utterly in love with him (of course mom is too, but dads don’t always come in with the oggly eyes for their babies like the moms do). Enjoyed every minute of him in my studio! He was born on Friday the 13th and was on the cover of the Oshawa paper because there were 15 babies born to that hospital on one day….I guess the record is 17 in one day at one hospital!

Travis | Cobourg Photographer

admin — Wed, 02 May 2012 20:47:51 +0000

I am determined to get caught up on my blogging! This little man came in, and looked so much like his big brother Seth! (If I’m lucky he will be just as good as Seth as he grows!) He was a bit cranky at first, but it didn’t take too long to get him content and warm, and he only peed all over my shirt once!

Cute Siblings! | Cobourg Photographer

admin — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 03:14:49 +0000

These two were very cute and sweet with each other in the studio. We got to use tutus and motorbikes, so both were happy!! Here are a few….

Stella Ella Ola….|Cobourg Photographer

admin — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 02:01:23 +0000

Stella was so sweet when she came to visit the studio, all the way from Ottawa!! She loved her photo being taken and I really enjoyed my time with her!

Mother’s Day Sessions! | Cobourg Photographer

admin — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 22:36:00 +0000

With my moms recent passing, I have found myself combing through photos and have found, to my deepest sadness, I just don’t have enough photos of her. As a mother, I know that we usually tend to be the ones behind the camera, or we just make up excuses not to have our photos done. Hair not brushed or looking nice, want to loose some more weight first, too many wrinkles, don’t like my smile….the excuses go on and on and I’ve made many myself. Unfortunately for me, I won’t get the opportunity to have any more photos taken with my mom, but I hope I can give you that opportunity. And not just a snapshot, a professional photoshoot to add to your heirlooms to hold dear and pass down. I am offering different packages, and I really do hope you take into thought an enlargement for your wall. A portrait with you and your mom, or you and your child(ren) deserve to be displayed with pride and love.

When you become a mom, your whole world changes, and is never the same again. You devote your life to caring for your child(ren) selflessly and lovingly. Too often you forget to do things for yourself. It’s time that changed…

I am offering this session May 5th and 6th, spots are limited so please don’t wait to book to receive this special price. You can email me at photos@jillianbphotography or call me at 905-396-1707.

Happy Birthday Alice!

admin — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 18:31:27 +0000

It really is hard to believe that Alice is a year old, my newborns grow so quickly! Her Mommy had a fun idea to photograph Alice in her wedding dress each year on her birthday, so this is the first of many wedding dress photos! Amanda (that’s Alice’s mommy) also made the AWESOME birthday banner you see in these photos. I LOVED it and will be getting her to make me some. They are awesome quality and really pop. She has an etsy store called Fabric Heart http://www.etsy.com/shop/fabricheart so go check her out (the birthday banners will be up next week).