Under the Farmhouse Roof

A Joy Story

2017-12-13T14:16:00.000-08:00

Homeschooling? It's a long obedience in the same direction. It's the epitomy of stick-to-itiveness. It's perseverance at its best.

My Siah wrote a Christmas essay for one of his live online classes. When he was done with it, he asked me to read it. It was kind of an emotional moment for me. Writing has been one of this kid's greatest challenges throughout our entire homeschooling journey. And reading his essay this Christmas, blessed me in two major ways. First, I was simply blown away at the fact that HE wrote this essay. Blown away by the simple things, like the fact that it makes sense and flows. Teaching a sweet little boy to write something that makes sense, is truly no easy task! And although these technical things are truly lovely and feel fabulously triumphant at this very moment, the second thing I love about this essay is that it reveals so much of my boy's heart. It's just a Christmas essay. I know that. But I think I'm just blown away by his words, and by the way that he views Christmas and Christ and family. I'm encouraged to keep up this "long obedience in the same direction," because his words are somehow this sweet little testimony to me, his mom-teacher, that Jesus is doing His thing in my boy, despite my 10,000 weaknesses and all the days that have felt like we were just heading in the wrong direction all together.

I'm posting this essay in hopes that it brings hope in this season of Christmas, which is all about hope. I'm hoping it inspires us to keep on keeping on, even on the countless days when we want to give up. The academic stuff really does come in time, if we are consistently consistent. But the deep soul work that we long for in our kids above all things, comes too. It comes in the form of grace and glory and joy. His grace lavished on us, for His glory, and our joy. The soul work is always evidence of His unfailing faithfulness to do in us and our kids more than we can ever think up or imagine.

So here it is__

Sian's Christmas Essay, 2017

*********************************

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son… (John 3:16)” Christmas would not be around if the Lord did not send his son to save us. This means that if Jesus did not come, there would be no reason for Christmas, and all the traditions that we have created over the years would be meaningless. Thankfully Jesus did come, and now we have an incredible reason to celebrate. Christmas is my favorite holiday of the year. In my family we have many Christmas traditions, but my three favorites are, the birthday breakfast, spending time with my grandparents, and hunting for our Christmas tree in the mountains.

In my family, when it comes to food we all crowd around the table with anticipation and joy. As everyone makes their way into the dining room, the smell of the sizzling bacon and fresh baked cinnamon rolls fresh out of the oven captivates us. After everyone gets situated in their spot at the table, Mama lights the candles and we all sing Happy Birthday to Jesus at the top of our lungs. Papa prays and thanks the Lord that Jesus did indeed come to earth to save us from our sins. Then we dig in! What a commotion it is! Everyone talks all at once, saying things like,” pass the bacon please,” and “can I have a napkin.” Someone inevitably knocks over a glass of orange juice and everyone laughs while Mama rushes to get the paper towels to clean it up. Then it mysteriously quiets down as everyone shovels food into their mouths. All you can hear is the munching and crunching of happy kids, parents, and grandparents. Mouthwatering cinnamon rolls, crunchy bacon and cheesy eggs, what more could one ask for? As we eat, my Papa reads the story of Christmas from The Jesus Storybook Bible. The food is fantastic, but the best part of the morning is really all of us being together and celebrating the gift of Jesus in our lives.

Before we moved to Texas, my Gramps and Nana (from my mom’s side) lived across the field on the same property that we lived on. Through the years, my siblings and I got really close to them. Going to their house on Christmas Eve grew into a tradition that I love. My Nana makes fajitas, and we all open our stockings. And to finish out the evening, we go to the Christmas Eve service together at our little country church. Then on Christmas Day, Gramps and Nana come to our house early in the morning. There is something wonderful and comforting about having family close at Christmas time. I’m grateful for the traditions we’ve created over the years with my grandparents, but I’m also grateful just to have them be a part of our everyday lives.

Although spending time with extended family is wonderful, my absolute favorite Christmas tradition is hunting for a Christmas tree in the mountains with close family friends. This is done at the beginning of December whether it is hot or cold. Some years have been flaming hot and we trek through the forest in T-shirts and jeans. Other years it has been frigid, and we have all bundled up and left our tracks in the snow as we search for the perfect tree. My favorite years are the ones when the snow is falling, and I can feel the warmth of my breath under my scarf. There have also been years when the snow is so deep our cars get stuck and the Papas must pull each other out with their big trucks. It is fun feeling like I am lost in the woods, while simultaneously hearing all the shouts of the kids who think that they found the perfect tree. I also love the challenge of carrying our tree back to the car. It’s a lot of work pulling those things up steep ravines and around large boulders. I feel a deep sense of accomplishment once the tree is tied onto our trailer and we are heading back down the mountain.

Out of the many traditions that my family has, acknowledging and celebrating Christ with a birthday breakfast, spending time with the special people in my life, and hunting for the perfect Christmas tree, are my three favorite things to do during the Christmas season. All three of these things are reminders of how glorious God’s gifts really are. The birthday breakfast allows us to celebrate Christ’s birth and the greatest gift God has ever given in the history of the world, in giving us his one and only Son. Spending time with my grandparents reminds me of the gift of family and the blessing of not having to live life alone. And hunting for a Christmas tree reminds me of the gift of God’s Word and all the promises that fill its pages. “You will seek me, and find me, when you seek me with all of your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13) Christmas, to me, is all about seeking, discovering, and celebrating all of who Jesus is and what he has done for us. And for that, I am grateful.

*********************************************************************

Josiah Malachi, I'm so proud of you buddy; proud of your growth in your writing, but really just truly blessed by your love for the Lord. :)

Leaving The Farm

2017-11-24T12:47:00.002-08:00

I've sat down to write this post a handful of times. There is so much I could tell you I suppose. I could tell you about the conversation the Cowboy and I had over Mexican food back in June and how he asked me if I might be willing to move to TX. I could tell you how simultaneously my heart lept and sank, how a warmer climate and a fresh start sounded glorious, and how leaving our community sounded almost unbearable.

I could tell you how my dad (who lived in his own house on our farm) joyfully agreed to move. I could tell you how the Cowboy's boss agreed to let him keep his job, or how we didn't even have to put our house on the market, because a friend caught wind of our possible move and gave us an offer that was perfect for the both parties. I could tell you so many things, but what I want you to know most is this:

Obedience in and of itself IS success.

I think about this often when life doesn't feel good.

Sometimes you find yourself doing things simply because the Lord has asked you to do so. You have no idea how it's going to turn out, but that doesn't really matter.

The Farm has been a glorious and treacherous place for me. I've brought three babies home to this place, created traditions, loved well, and fallen hard. There have been countless folks who have gathered around our farm table, who've shared meals and conversation, joy, loss, struggle, and sorrow.

I have loved the nights on the couch with my Joey, watching the first snowfall after the kids were all tucked in their beds. I've taught 4 of the six to read under this roof, all those days of listening to them tediously sounding out each and every letter, only to find them years later hiding under their covers reading things I never imagined they would be able to read.

There have been pillow fights and real fights, lots of laughter and an equal amount of tears.

The Farm was also the place that housed my heart through the postpartum depression I had after our Solomon was born. These walls have watched me majorly succeed and majorly fail in my mothering. I have soul has barely made it through the past seven winters. There's been great beauty in this place and great pain this place. I wonder sometimes if all the places we find ourselves in are like this, full of both the beautiful and the broken?

The truth I am coming to find more and more is that this is not my home. The Farm is not my home. The places we're going, the places we've been, they are not my home. I was made to be living in eternity with Christ. And until I get there, I have one thing in mind__ to make HIS name great in the way I live my life, for HIs glory, and my joy.

On our last Sunday, during testimony time, in our little country church, I mustered up the courage to share a bit about this move. I talked about Jesus and how wherever we are, He will always be what our life is all about. And then I went on to share the verse I have spent the past seven years clinging to. And as I began to speak it out loud from memory, my kids, unprompted, joined me__ there we were, our little tribe, together in unison, proclaiming what we believe with our whole hearts this life to be all about__ "I eagerly expect and hope, that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage, now as always, so that Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." {Philippians 1:20-21}

As we embark on the next leg of our journey my prayer is that this may be true of the Clark family.

I feel a million things about this move; some excitement for change and all things new, and some sadness over not living intricate, daily life with the some of the most real, authentic Christ followers I have ever met. But in all honesty, it doesn’t really matter how I feel. What matters is simply this: that Christ walks before me, and beside me, always. We can’t base life decisions on feelings. We must base them instead on a joyful obedience to whatever the Lord makes clear for us to do. We're here, in TX, and we're taking it one day at a time.

End of Summer Video

2017-08-25T06:51:00.002-07:00

Summer {Part 2} from Kacy Clark on Vimeo.

password: summer2

Summer 2017 from Kacy Clark on Vimeo.

And here's the first half of the summer in case you missed it...

password: summer

Beginning Again {Year 8 @ The One Room Schoolhouse}

2017-08-18T11:02:00.002-07:00

I've never struggled to find motivation for school as much as I have this year. I've pondered what to do with the little kids, as they are both in the thick of their mischievous stage, clearly unable to practice much self control in anything, and far from being any kind of self sufficient. What do mamas do when they are trying to engage with their big kids, when their little kids are loud and full of opportunities for growth (also known as interruptions)?

Our oldest is starting JUNIOR HIGH {What??}. Our oldest daughter is in need of some focussed and purposeful pursuit in math and language arts. My fourth grader is diligent and self motivated and I know she'll have no trouble getting through her studies this year. And our middle boy needs to dive head first into learning to read. The task before me seems somewhat daunting, and on the verge of impossible probably because, in a dozen and a half ways, it is impossible.

I've cried a river at the thought of all that beckons me in this task of facing another homeschooling year. Then of course, in His unfailing faithfulness, The Lord met me this week in three tender, sweet ways.

On Sunday, our pastor shared a story of a man and his boy who set out to hike 1000 miles. There's way more to the story than what I'm mentioning here, but my pastor told of two things that allowed these men to accomplish such a task.

First, they knew that there was a 100% chance that they would run into hardships, and they decided ahead of time that they would accept them for what they were and they wouldn't let those hardships prevent them from finishing the task that they had set out to do. Secondly, quitting was not an option. They would simply put one foot in front of the other until they walked their last step.

Truthfully, his sermon had nothing to do with homeschooling, but for me, it had everything to do with homeschooling. There are years that are just going to be straight up hard. And that's ok. Hard is inevitable, no matter what path I choose. But I want to determine that the hard won't be a means for me giving up.

The second thing The Lord reminded me of was the sweetest little blog post that I have read dozens of times over the years, but it has never ceased to remind me that this homeschooling gig doesn't have to be complicated. Rather, it needs to be full of 4 simple cornerstones...

1. A Continuum of Constant Learning….

Live your life. Invite children to join in! Education is a continuum of everyday life.

Read together. Pray together. Sing together. Work, bake, garden, chore, clean, sew, fix, build together. No artificial demarcation lines between schooling and living. Just live a one-piece life. Just live authentically and holistically.

2. Contagious Creativity

Explore! Be awed by His world! Restore Wonder! Be a creative, thinking, exuberant person who spills with the joy of learning.

When we are awed by something — we can’t help but pass it on. It’s our natural tendency. And if we are in awe of God — we become natural, unstoppable, top-notch teachers. A zest for learning and life and our Maker will be creative and contagious–the children will catch it! Simply be awed!

3. Curiousity

Read, read, read. . Fill the house with library books. Play classical music. Post the art of the masters about the house. Go for walks in the woods. Learn a new language, a new culture, a new poem. Write! Everyday set out to discover again and again and again. Simply live curiously. The whole earth is full of His glory! Go seek His face…

4. Consistency

Consistently pray. Consistently read. Consistently keep the routine. Consistently live an everyday liturgy. Consistently celebrate each moment!

Children thrive in routine. So do households. Have hardtops: times that you fully stop to pray, to read, to write. Regardless of what isn’t done, what isn’t finished. Make a full stop, do the needful thing, then return to meals, laundry, household management. Simply consistently be consistent.

When I remember these four cornerstones, I feel less overwhelmed with all the details. It helps to keep my eyes on the big picture.

And the final way the Lord met me this past week was through a little book that I stumbled upon last summer. I gave my copy away to another homeschooling mama, but a lovely friend, gave me a new copy a few days ago and I have sat on the couch with a candle burning, the rain falling outside, with a cup of tea in one hand and this rich, little book in the other. Teaching From Rest is a book every homeschooling mama needs to get their hands on. Here are some of my favorite quotes__

"Surrender you idea of what the ideal homeschool day is supposed to look like and take on, with both hands, the day that it is. Rest begins with acceptance, with surrender. Can we accept what He is sending today?"

"Rest is trusting that God's got this, even if I'm a mess, even if I'm not enough, even if I mess up everyday. Because I do."

"God never demands that we produce prodigies or achieve what the world would recognize as excellence. Rather, He asks us to live excellently__ that is, to live in simple, obedient faith and trust. He asks us to faithfully commit everyday to Him and then do that day's tasks well. He_is_in_charge_of_the_results.... So, That writing assignment on the plan today? Do it well. That math lesson that your child struggles over? Sit down next to him, and do one problem at a time, slowly and carefully. Smile a lot. Lavish him with love. Because whether or not he becomes an excellent writer or a proficient mathematician is not your business to worry over. Your business is that single assignment today and loving him through it."

"Remember your true task.

Surrender everything.

Bring your loaves and your fish, even if you think them completely insufficient.

They are insufficient.

You are insufficient.

But His grace is not.

God is not limited by objective reality.

His yoke is easy and His burden is light."

I am asking the Lord to help me remember these things as we begin another year here at the One Room Schoolhouse.

I am one forgetful woman, and by golly, I just want to remember__ God's got this.

He's really truly got this.

I am called to diligence and love, consistency and grace, awe and wonder and joy! Lord help me to GO FOR IT, and keep my eyes wide open to see YOUR faithfulness always at work in this place.

And so we begin another year.

Stand Up & Lay Yourself Down OR, {When You Feel As If The Bickering Might Become The Death Of You}

2017-08-01T17:51:00.001-07:00

I don't always know exactly what to share in this space, but I'm finding that anything that encourages us mama's to press into the Lord, is always worth putting out there. So here's what's been happening at the farmhouse as of late.

Not to long ago I posted about a fresh start {here}. The truth is, it's been a year of bickering and pride under the farmhouse roof. We go through seasons where the kids struggle big time to get along. And there are other seasons where their friendships flourish and they seem to have developed a rhythm of kindness and words that make each other's souls stronger.

When I don't know what to do, I read the Bible like crazy because the fear of the Lord, is always the beginning of wisdom. There is no single solution for the conflicts that go on in our homes. The Lord is so faithful to reveal different tactics to different folks in different situations.

I think I've shared this before, but a long time ago when I first became a mother, a more experienced mom encouraged me to correct and guide my kids with straight up scripture. At first it was daunting to me because at the time I had very little knowledge of the Bible, and also because I had never seen such a thing modeled in all my life. But I took my friend's advice to heart and over the years it has become a more natural process for me.

It also helps to have friends who can give you a starting place. My friend Ghena mentioned a phrase to me that has become our mantra around here. "Who's gonna stand up, and lay themselves down?" As I thought about this phrase, it helped me identify the root of all the bickering__ Pride.

James 4 says, What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. "

The kids and I have talked through this verse dozens of times. And we keep talking about it because we are forgetful people. The majority of the conflict in our home comes from the fact that one, or both parties are not getting what they want. Pride can be fierce. It can turn us into jerk-faces towards one another in a heartbeat.

But the glory of it all, is that there is a solution to our selfish hearts. And it comes from Philippians 2,

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

That's it.

That's the key to all our selfish pursuits.

Jesus, the Son of God, L_A_I_D H_I_M_S_E_L_F D_O_W_N.

He put Himself aside.

He humbled Himself.

It's so incredibly hard to speak this into our kids, to model this to them, and to desire this response from them, because it is completely contrary to what the world preaches. This idea is astonishing to our modern sensibilities, because we have heard from our youth to know ourselves. "Confused about your calling in life? Find out what you want, don't give up hope and go get it. Sad that you don't have what you want? Work hard to achieve riches and glory. Frustrated that you are weak? Look inside you and see how immeasurably great you really are."

But the Bible calls us to lay ourselves down and make our lives about GOD. God is the one who has called us to a specific hope, promised us a future, and has the power to make it all come to pass just as He said. And He gives us these opportunities in our daily lives, with our siblings, our families, to practice this stunningly beautiful way to live our one life well.

And so, we practice laying ourselves down, because that's what Christ modeled to us. And if the Son of God laid Himself down, then I want it to be my joy to model humility in my own life and to call my treasures to do the same towards one another. It doesn't take much effort to feed our pride, but it takes tremendous courage and strength to choose others above ourselves.

Practically speaking, in our home, we have read both James 4 and Philippians 2 to the point that they have become common language in our home. When the bickering rises, I listen to what the conflict is, and most of the time it's a situation of one or more kids seeking to satisfy themselves and their own desires.

And so I ask them, "Why are there fights and quarrels among you?" To which they most often reply, "because I'm not getting what I want." And so I put it out there__ "Ok then, who's gonna stand up, and lay themselves down?" And depending on the kids who are involved in the conflict, some will soften their hearts way more quickly than others. Sometimes we all stand there for an agonizing amount of time, until there is a softening from both parties.

It's a process. Like most struggles we are attempting to overcome in this place, it has taken several months for us to establish a new rhythm. Honestly, it felt totally awkward in the beginning, but over time it has just become a part of our family culture. It was so worth getting over that initial hump, worth scouring the pages of His sweet Word, and worth the effort and time it has taken to tuck His truth into our hearts,

The bickering around here has not magically disappeared. And although I've gained some tools in navigating the kids through this bickering phase, I am still a woman who often chooses to live in the flesh and not to listen to what the Spirit might be prompting me to do in the moment. So please don't think for one silly second that I never lose it, or respond in anger, or make the situation worse by shouting at the top of my lungs, "COULD Y'ALL JUST QUIT THE SHENANIGANS AND BY GOLLY, GET ALONG!" As long as this tribe is on this earth we are going to have to fight the good fight and shout out gratitude and praise for His unfailing grace.

Creating a new family culture takes practice. It takes doing the same thing, over and over and over again until it begins to flow out of us more freely.

So tonight, I'm preaching to my own heart__

Be encouraged.

Practice humility.

Pray confidently.

Consistently be consistent.

And trust in God's incomparably great power in us who believe (Ephesians 1:19).

The Lord is always faithful.

Birthday Buddies

2017-07-04T09:45:00.002-07:00

{I love it when he winks at me...}

These two share a birthday month.

None of the six under the farmhouse roof have similar personalities.

And the truth is, they have two sides to them just like every other person on the planet. They have their strengths and they have their weaknesses. And as a mama, it can be easier some days to focus on the latter.

Yes, they have weaknesses, but they also have amazing strengths and I've been asking the Lord to open my eyes to what HE sees in each of them. Reese's strengths are outward, in fact the girl wears her whole heart on her sleeve.

Jed on the other hand mostly keeps to himself and has very few words, so it is much harder for me to really know him the way I long to know him. I ask him questions throughout the day, but most of the time I get one or two word answers. I have found that when I tuck him in at night and I choose to linger a little bit, that's when he likes to talk to me.

And I'm trying so hard to listen. I'm not the best listener. I hear what the kids are saying but I often hear them with my own preconceived notions and thus I'm really not hearing them at all. I'm a fixer, but they would benefit so much more from me being a listener.

Anyways, Jed will be seven and Reese is now nine. They're buds. {The oldest two are buds and the middle two are buds, and the youngest two haven't quite figured out what it means to be buds with anybody. :) }

These two both enjoy art and jumping on the trampoline and playing Groundies with their siblings. I love summer because they spend hours outside building forts and making up things to play. Jed loves building Legos and Reese just got another American Girl doll for her birthday that she hasn't put down since she bought it. They both love to draw and watch youtube videos to help them figure out how to draw new things.

They are two of my greatest gifts and I hope that they always feel celebrated because it has been my joy to walk alongside them as we seek the Lord all of our days.

Happy Birthday Skyler Reese and Jedders!

Pieces Of Summer

2017-06-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

The summer has barely begun and it has been jam-packed with trips and friends and water days and work days, afternoons of art and jumprope and gardens and all things good and lovely.

But then there came a day when it was just me in the kitchen, The Best of Hillsong was strumming in the background. The kids were all over the farm doing their own things.

It was just me.

It was quiet enough for me to hear His voice.

I was still enough to know His presence.

Me, with Him. My heart in a posture of praise.

The joy tears fell.

I just love HIM.

And I long to know Him so so much more.

#bathingsuitsandbicycles #summer

#herfirstponytail

#hoursontheswing

So often my little world is just so loud. I know it's the season I'm in and that seasons are always changing. The loud truly does holds it's own sweetness.

But the loud also makes the quiet a total gift.

My favorite days of the summer,

are the ones spent alone with Him in my kitchen__ A tender closeness that will be with me always in eternity.

How very grateful I am that He is the only thing permanent in this world that is fading away. How very grateful I am that this earth the short part, and that the sweetness of being in His presence is what my soul will know fully for all of eternity.

#herperfectlypudgylegs

#herlaughingatherownreflection

#supperinthewoods

#thehammock #thecovetedspotforreading

Fathers Day 2017

2017-06-19T06:45:00.002-07:00

We spent Fathers Day at a small town arena with a bunch of Colorado Mounted Rangers.

We ate BBQ under a canopy of pine trees. We took the long way home, down a bunch of dusty dirt roads, listening to The Cowboy's favorite Country station.

Driving through the middle of nowhere, the Charmer declared from the back seat, "EVERYONE, I lost a tooth!"

The littlest one was hot and fussy.

When the oldest boy shook the Captain's hand, I couldn't help but think about how he looked like such a man.

I haven't written about it much here in this space, but my man is a Colorado Ranger and today 21 Rangers completed the training necessary to become Mounted Rangers (Rangers on horseback). Our family went to support and celebrate their accomplishments.

I don't understand a ton about all the details of being a Ranger. On the drive home, I asked my Joey about the different ranks and about some of the Lieutenants, Captains, and Colonels we had met at the BBQ. Getting straight who's who, can be confusing to me. But I was so grateful to have met some of the kind folks that my Joey spends a lot of his time with.

The Cowboy is not a man of many words, but his life is an example of quiet strength, solid faith, and selfless love. He's not perfect, but he's perfectly mine. And for that, I'm eternally grateful.

Her Bathing Suit

2017-06-09T20:23:00.001-07:00

She finds her bathing suit in a pile of suits on the farm front porch, and brings it to me.

She points to herself.

In her tiny voice, she whispers it kind of unclear, but I'm beginning to understand, "On. On."

I help her put it on and lather her tender white skin in sunscreen__ and then I watch.

I watch her run her pudgy little fingers across the ruffle of her suit.

She's still in that toddling phase__ the one where she's still trying to tame those little legs of hers.

And every once in awhile, she takes a break and finds herself a snack.

Her see-through white whisps

and sun-kissed cheeks

and love for her own bathing suit__

They're tiny pieces of summer that I want to remember for always.

#stableturnedoneroomschoolhouse

2017-05-30T10:50:00.001-07:00

In 2010 we bought an old homestead with some friends, ten acres with two houses on it. It was a train wreck when we bought it. The grass in the fields was up to our waists. The houses smelled like urine, the paint was chipping, pieces of the roof were missing, and we've since filled six 40-yard dumpsters, with trash. So like any normal people, within an hour of seeing the place, we put an offer on it.

We knew it was going to be a twenty year project, but we saw the potential and we looked forward to the work that we could put in as a family.

Since moving to Colorado we've doubled the number of kids in our tribe and we've had to do some shuffling with rooms and such. This past year, our used-to-be schoolroom became our oldest son's bedroom.

We knew it would be nice to have a space for school, but we also knew it was a luxury, not a necessity. We talked about adding on to our house. We talked about building a garage with a school room attached to it. We went through a dozen scenerios and kept coming back to the same thought... staying debt free and utilizing what we already have.

Across from the farmhouse was this old, ugly stable. It was missing a wall, had holes in the roof, and was, at the time, housing our chickens and a pot-belly pig.

The inside was drab to say the least. It felt dark and dirty and I was struggling to envision something glorious. But then I remembered that I am married to the man. The Cowboy loves projects and once we have a plan, he's all in.

So we started with another 40-yard dumpster, and filled it to the BRIM with everything imaginable that we found in the old stable. We sold the pig to a sweet hippie lady who told us she was going to take the pig on a trip around the United States in her van. Then we moved the chickens down to the big red barn.

Once we emptied out the inside, we set to work on the roof. This is the thing I love most about doing projects on our farm... It's a family affair. We all work together. The kids learn new skills and the parents learn patience. Yes, it is much easier to just get a job done than it is to teach little ones along the way, but the process is never as rich as it is when we are doing things together. And so we purpose to slow down, and we bring the kids along, and we make memories.

Then came the floor. It was just dirt, so The Cowboy built a floating floor. How he did that? I have no idea. But it's there now and it's awesome and I'm amazed at some of the things this man of mine can do.

{Cutting planks for the floor.}

There was electricity in the stable, but no lights. So The Cowboy put in lights. And then, the thing that felt like it made all the difference in the world... 10 gallons of white paint! It just took an old dingy room and made it feel so much brighter and maybe even cheerful.

Below are some before and after pics. It still blows my mind that the Cowboy can turn something that looks like this....

Into this.

Before.

After.

Before.

After.

Before.

After.

And here are just a few more pictures of what it looks like now. :)

I can't seem to find a before picture of what this side of the stable looked like. But there was no door and no windows and the place where the giant X's are, was open space (no walls).

And now, less than $5000 later, we have this simple, yet seemingly unreal to this Mama, space. We bought the biggest (yet possibly the ugliest) couch we could find so that we could fit all kinds of family and friends on it. There's a pellet stove in one corner, a play area in another corner. And in the last corner we have our little set-up for our school. It's a place we can all go to spread out. It's a space for friends and family to gather. And our hope is that it will become a place of rest for those who are in need of refreshment.

Nearly seven years ago the Lord was gracious enough to lend our family this little piece of earth. Our desire is that it will be used for His glory however He sees fit. How beyond grateful we are for our little #stableturnedoneroomschoolhouse

He's 12

2017-05-22T06:29:00.002-07:00

It's just down right crazy how fast the years are going by. This boy of mine has plans. Big plans. And if he follows through with them like I think he will, then I really only have four more years homeschooling the boy. When he's 16, he wants to test out of high school and get a job, save his money, build a tiny house, and buy some land. It's really quite glorious how focused and driven he is at age twelve.

This boy of ours is the first one out of bed in the morning. He gets up, does his morning chores, fixes himself breakfast, cleans up after himself, and usually starts school by 6:30am. He knows what needs doing and he does it all well, and to the glory of God. The other day, a woman from a local ranch called and asked if she could hire him for the summer to come work her land. She heard from another neighbor that he was a hard worker. This makes my mama-heart BEAM!

He shares a birthday with 2 of his closest friends and they had a joint party this year at an indoor go-cart track. Then they came back to the farm and built a track here and did timed races with each other. I think they had a blast.

This boy of mine is a gem! Truly. I'm not sure why the Lord blessed me with such a trustworthy, honest, hard-working, humble, kind & Jesus-loving little man. He's a gift to me. And every year when his birthday rolls around, I find myself full of gratitude for the privilege of living life with this kid.

Happy 12th little man! You bless me and I love you to the moon and back.

My Man-Boy

2017-05-22T06:28:00.001-07:00

I took this picture of my Siah the other day. He was at a ranch down the road helping Jeff and Debbie brand and vaccinate this year's yearlings.

My boy is growing into a man before my very eyes.

Look at him.

He's getting so strong and tall. There is so much going on in his amazing heart. He longs to be grown up, but he's fighting through so many boyhood things. He's a control freak like his mom. I am praying with all my might that the Lord works that out in him now and he doesn't have to spend a huge portion of his adult life trying to lay that need for control down, like his mom has been battling since the day he was born.

This boy struggles.

But I see him willing to fight.

I see him humbling himself when he's wrong. I see him tense up when I'm correcting him (because he doesn't like the feeling of being wrong, he's kind of a perfectionist in that sense), and then softening his heart to my correction after I've given him a few minutes to process.

I see him pouring over the Bible first thing in the morning and the last thing before he turns out the light at night. I see him thinking ahead and overflowing with a willingness to work hard to achieve his goals. I have this wonderful privilege of listening to all his questions about life and God and friends and hard things. I feel grateful that I get to talk with him through all his "why" questions. I rarely have brilliant answers, but I'm thinking that maybe the conversations are more important than the answers.

My boy is in between boy and man and some days him and I both find ourselves at a loss at how to walk through life together. There are days when he feels like I don't understand him and there are days when I feel like he doesn't really understand me and my heart towards him. I don't blame him. I'm not always the best communicator and my tone can sometimes be the very thing that turns him away.

It's so strange how easy it is to write about crazy toddlers and their fit-pitching, drawing on the walls, peeing on a brother's pillow just because you felt like it years.

But the preteen/teen years?

Nobody write about those.

In some ways I understand why. As my kids grow, their stories are becoming their own, and they are stories that can be told at a later time when the hardest days have been conquered and their growing hearts have become comfortable with who God has made them to be. There will be a day when they discover their nitch and they begin to use their gifts for God's glory. Someday we'll get over the awkward bump in the road that these preteen years bring and my boy-man will be a full grown MAN and I believe with all my heart that the hard work it is taking to walk through these years will be worth every tear shed, every discussion had, and every prayer prayed.

In the meantime, I really am grateful for the privilege of walking alongside this incredible gift of mine.

She's 11

2017-05-22T06:27:00.002-07:00

There was a time when I thought I might be sad when the kids started growing up. There has been such a long season of our hands being full of many small children that I'm not sure it even crossed my mind that the y wouldn't stay small forever. When you're in the thick of something it's hard to see anywhere but right where you are.

My turned eleven in the bank of an eye. And as I've pondered her little life this week, I have found myself so grateful for this season with her. She was for certain one of the most precious little girls on the planet, but this growing up thing looks stunning on her just the same. She's mature and nurturing, tender-hearted, and wise for her years. She loves the Lord in the way that she lives and that just might be my favorite thing about her. She's eleven and somedays I'm certain that she knows how to pour into the souls of her siblings better than I do. She's filled to the brim with the fruits of the Holy Spirit and it's this daily, beautiful testimony to me of the Lord's patience and compassion.

This past weekend we had a tie-dye party for her with a few of her favorite friends. According to her sister, it was epic. :)

Not all the girls knew each other very well so we played a round of Two Truths & A Lie to help them get to know one another a bit.

I found a lady on Pinterest who had a bunch of brilliant ideas to help our tie-dye portion of the party run smoothly. Hal and I did a test run on a shirt earlier in the week. The directions said to let the shirts sit for 6-8 hours but we clearly didn't have that much time we only let them sit for 25 minutes. They turned out fine, but I think if I did it again, I would put the wet shirts in a plastic bag and let the girls take them home and let them sit so that the colors would remain bright and the designs more pronounced. I was also SUPER grateful for that most of the moms stayed for the party. It was a HUGE help having extra adult hands to help the girls with their designs.

A tie-dye party wouldn't be complete without a few rounds of Twister.

Hal wanted pineapple and Canadian bacon pizza, Caesar Salad, Shirley Temples, and an Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Cake.

Us Mamas forgot to wear our gloves...

We had the party in our One Room Schoolhouse. And outside, it was a winter wonderland. At the end of the party the girls went sledding and the Papa took them for a ride on his rhino through the falling snow. It was beautiful!

I'm not sure when it started, but I am certain that it has now become tradition... On the morning of their actual birthdays, we have a birthday breakfast for the birthday kid. The kids get to pick the meal and Gramps and Nana come over and we open presents, light candles, and sing Happy Birthday. It's one of my favorite things about birthdays. This year Aunt Meg and her boys were able to join us.

I have loved the little years with this girl of mine, but I must confess that I am really looking forward to these growing up years, to the privilege of witnessing my girl growing into a stunningly beautiful woman after God's own heart.

Happy 11th sweet girl!

Nothing Can Separate Us...

2017-05-22T06:26:00.000-07:00

Standing at the chalk board next to the farmhouse table. I'm writing scripture on the wall. There's worship music playing in the background.

One kid takes from another kid and I glance over at the kid who took. And without warning my mouth spouts out harsh words. Why can't they just get it together and get along? The expectations are laid out clearly in this place. There's accountability, grace and love. And yet every morning is the same. Every morning I wake up to fits and tension and bickering.

I go back to the chalk board, continue to write out the Word...

"If the One, The Spirit, who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, then He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also, through the Spirit that dwells in you..."

"Will give life to your mortal bodies..." If that's really true then how do I know Christ and still feel so run by my flesh?

I'm asking the Lord these questions with earnest as I write.

Another brawl breaks out.

My heart doesn't soften, it rages and I want put the fighting kids in their room and ignore the heart work that I know needs doing in ALL of us. I rudely grab the toy from the kid who keeps stealing the toys for himself and I harshly instruct, "STOP TAKING FROM YOUR SISTER!!! For goodness sake, BE KIND!" I walk away.

Ironic. I know.

To expect the fruits of the Spirit in them, all the whileI'm choosing the flesh.

I go back to the chalkboard and continue to write...

"So brothers. We__are__debtors. But not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. If you live according to the flesh, you will die..."

That's how I feel. Dead. Far from God. Unable to say a kind word to the treasures that I'm longing to minister to each day. I'm constantly preaching His Word to them... Reminding them to put themselves aside (Phil. 2), to speak words that make souls stronger (Eph. 4:29),

It is one thing to preach... it is another to LIVE what one preaches.

I keep writing on the wall...

"BUT, if by the Spirit, you put to death the deeds of the body, you__will__live!"

"If by the Spirit." That's the thing, in my own flesh, I'm failing. I'm not living what I long to live. I keep forgetting that, "Apart from Christ, I can do nothing." (John 15:5)

We live in a world that makes so many choices based on feelings. And what I'm coming to realize is that Christ is a constant choice (not a feeling) that I have to continue to choose, despite what I may be feeling on any given day. The steadfastness and truth of His Word doesn't change because of what I feel.

Christ is either good, or He's not. He's either faithful or He's not. And His Word is either true or it's not.

None of these things shift simply because I'm struggling through a day.

Today as we began another week, I feel far from the Lord, entangled in my own sin, feeding the flesh more often than I'm listening to the Spirit.

My eyes keep scanning the pages and they fall on these glorious words...

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8)

On the hardest of days, there is always, always truth to stand on. For nothing, can separate us from the unfathomable love of Christ. Nothing. Not one thing. Not my mistakes or my short temper. Not even my yuckiest sin days. Nothing.

I put down my chalk and walk over to the kid who's sitting heart-broken over his Mama's tone on the step leading into the sunroom. I get down low, look into his eyes, apologize for my harsh words. I ask the boy for forgiveness.

Confession and humility bring a fresh start and him and I, we begin the day again, and move forward with the help of the One who promises to always be our help in time of need..

Which in this house__ is all_day_long.

A Fresh Start

2017-05-22T06:24:00.001-07:00

I've needed a fresh start. A quiet place to begin anew. A place that few know about.

I long for a place that's mainly an intimate conversation between me and my Jesus.

What I have always loved about our family blog is that it helps me to remember.

It helps me to recall moments that I would otherwise have forgotten.

It's a reminder of God's faithfulness to my ever-forgetful soul.

Where I am right now is in the middle of struggle. Truthfully my days often feel like a strain. It's not that the Lord is absent, it's just that life is hard. The kids bicker like mad dogs and it feels as if I can only keep my patience for a short portion of the day. I find myself flying off the handle and spouting out words that I wish with all my heart would never come out of my mouth. There's this constant tension, mixed in with good moments throughout the day. Shiloh's laugh, a brother's tender touch, someone offering to help without being asked, the funny little things the Spunky Girl says and does that seem to come from left field, a kind word of truth from my man.

I don't have the answers I long for. I'm in the Word daily, but it's not sinking in the way I long for it to do so. It feels as if I am going to be forever stuck in my crazy. My mind seriously cannot keep up on all that is happening under this roof day in and day out. All the life educating and all the academic educating, not to mention all the twists and turns with sicknesses and extra curricular activities and me trying to constantly self-educate so I can stay just one step ahead in the midst of meals and schedules and life.

It just feels loopy around here.

I have no doubt that we will make it through these crazy years. I just want to enjoy them more than I do. Sometimes I wish we lived out on a thousand acre ranch in the middle of the most beautiful place on earth where were free to block out the world and it's rather loud voice that tosses me to and fro like the wind does the waves. I'm not good and being steadfast. I'm not good at figuring out what really matters to me and sticking with it. I'm not good at tuning into the Lord and simultaneously tuning out the world. More than anything I long for control and I feel like I have absolutely none. I get up in the morning and I beg the Lord to help me. In the dark, quiet hours, I read His Word and I pray His Word, and then they come down stairs. The three-year-old starts talking a million miles a minute, demanding breakfast, taking from his sister who has only been awake for a whopping two minutes, and ends up needing correction and discipline within the first five minutes of most days. Then comes the kid who is easily overwhelmed. He's bothered that the little kids are so loud when he's trying to do his "read through the Bible" in a year plan. He usually has some ailment (his foot hurts, who his back hurts, or he didn't sleep well, or he's crying because he thinks he's been given to many things to accomplish in a day and he's never going to be able to accomplish those things even though it's only 6am and he has the whole day to accomplish all that's been placed on his plate.) Then at 7am, I have to wake up the girl who doesn't like waking up. She moves slowly and then cries because she's behind everyone else and always the last one to the table even though I wake her up early enough to get everything done in plenty of time for her to make it to the table for morning time. There's a brother who doesn't like that his sister is up before him. There's a sister who wants to be the first first one up. And they both get bent at each other EVERY STINKING MORNING over these things. Truth? Things have gotten so crazy that I have found myself swearing. I haven't been a "swearer" since the seventh grade. But somehow, being a Mama of six has brought me back to my immature junior high days. And quite frankly, I hate it.

So, no joke, by 7am, I seriously just want to crawl back into my bed and maybe never come out again.

All this said, I'm wondering what it is that I'm missing? Do I need to simplify my life? Do I need to get out more? How is it that the Words that my eyes are scanning each and everyday become my reality? How do I trust in the Lord with my children? How do I deal with all their squabbles? How do I direct their hearts without falling into such frustration and negativity myself? What I want them to remember most is our home being a safe, joy-filled, real & happy place where the Lord is always at work in a tangible way.

We're not there.

We're in the middle of a super mess, and I needed a place to keep it real, for the sake of my own crazy heart.

I needed a fresh start.

Photos of our little boys playing out in our farm fields

The Nutcracker

2016-12-22T06:54:00.001-08:00

Some nights are just the kind of nights you want to put in your pocket and remember forever. That's what The Nutcracker was for me and my girls. Every once in awhile it's fun to get dressed up and leave the farm farm for a night in the city.

{We got crammed into this elevator and thought it was CRAZY having so many people in there at once.}

When I was young my mom took me to the Symphony and I still remember it to this day. It's been a few weeks since we went to The Nutcracker and my girls are still talking about it. I hope it's one of those memories that stays with them forever.

My Spunky Girl

2016-12-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

When we first moved to the farm, she was days away from turning two. She was spunky even then, and her love for God was already budding. When she wasn't much taller than my knees we were witting in church, about to take communion, when I told her she couldn't have the bread and juice until she had given her life to Christ.

She began to cry.

Not a selfish, fit kind of cry.

But a deep sadness kind of cry.

I asked her what was wrong and the through her tears she got out the words, "But me love Jesus, Mama."

She kept repeating it over and over again.

"But me love Jesus, Mama. Me love me Jesus."

She was two and half and my type-A very practical mom brain couldn't imagine that she really knew what she was saying. But then a thought came my mind in that moment__

"Who are you to say whether or not your little girl really loves Jesus?"

I immediately justified my hesitation with the thought that she most likely just wanted to have a snack more than anything else.

Then my little peanut cupped my face and said, "Mama, Jesus love me and me love Jesus."

____

That day, she took communion. With zero ability to speak theology, my innocent little Reese knew that all God asks of us is to believe in and to love, Him. "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

I don't know exactly what the Lord has up His sleeve for this little gem, but I know that she loves fully without reserve. And I know more and more each day that she has this unshakable passion for her Jesus. He loves her and she loves Him.

So last Sunday, my precious girl stood up in front of our church and told the everyone about her love for the Lord. Our pastor gave her an opportunity to share something if she wanted to, {and of course she wanted to! She loves every opportunity she can get to use her voice.} She brought with her a letter that she had written to the President of the United States earlier this year. Then she proceeded to tell everyone how she loved Jesus so much that she wrote a letter to the president.

She read the letter.

She hopped right into that horse trough.

Her Papa read a prayer from Ephesians over her.

And this amazing little girl declared to the world that she's in love with her Jesus.

Reese was the youngest to get baptized... And this sweet, sweet, 90 year old man, was the oldest.

The days when my kids seek the Lord on their own accord are the absolute best days of my life. Their faith needs to be their own. I will keep on telling them of His glory, but what I love most about our Savior is that He is able and willing and wanting to reveal Himself and His glory to them, with or without me.

Today was a good day.

No, it was a great day.

Aleppo Love

2016-12-16T14:45:00.001-08:00

A few weeks back I shared a post from Ann Voscamp about Aleppo with the kids.

I told them how God didn't place us here on the farm so that we could merely speak compassion, but more so that we could LIVE it, and live it generously. I told them how $65 could feed a family for a month. I told them how even though we might not be able to fly across the world right now and serve those in Aleppo with our hands, there are always ways to lavish love.

The next morning when I woke up, I saw $40 on the fridge. My oldest saw me looking at it and said, "It's for Aleppo, Mom." By the end of breakfast there was nearly $80 of their hard earned money and a love note from a little girl on the fridge.

One of these treasures gave every last penny she had ($17.36) and I couldn't help but think about the woman who had only a penny but she gave it all to her Lord, and He was pleased with her. So much so, the story of her willing heart ended up in the Bible for millions of people to read. Another little boy said he only had coins and didn't think that was enough. I told him there's no such thing as giving too little, and before I knew it there was a bag full of coins on the fridge.

We got online and donated all their money to http://www.preemptivelove.org. There's a video on their site that explains a little more of what they do and the kids and I watched it together.

They still wanted to do more.

My Hal wanted to do something a little more tangible. Ann's blog post had a link to another organization that collects kits filled with basic supplies to help meet everyday kind of needs for refugees and other people in need around the world. WE decided on a couple different kits and came up with a supply list. The list felt a little daunting to do on our own so we sent out an email to a few friends. Our goal was 30 kits. And within 24 hours?? We had enough supplies to put together 40 kits! The kids were blown away that people would come alongside them so quickly and willingly.

Today was our packing party.

Everyone brought their supplies.

My Hal gave a short testimony sharing how the Lord has been working in our family's hearts about Aleppo.

We wrote notes and drew pictures in hopes of letting their hearts know that they are far from forgotten.

We spent some time in prayer over the people in Aleppo. It is such a gift to be able to send some much needed supplies, but as we spent time praying, my heart begged the Lord to not only meet their physical needs, but their heart needs. Above all things many of the people in Aleppo need Jesus. He is the only source of true hope and peace in this fallen, broken world.

Today was more than just packing boxes, it was a time to pause and ask the Lord to lavish His extravagant love on the people of Aleppo and on people all around the world who might not yet know the glory of His wild & glorious grace.

Here's a short video of my Hal's heart...
pASSWORD: aleppo

My Movie from Kacy Clark on Vimeo.

I'm grateful for these opportunities to bless.

But I'm even more grateful for Jesus.

Grateful that Love came down.

Grateful that He laid it all down so that we might have this mind-boggling, glorious hope.

The Tree

2016-12-06T06:04:00.000-08:00

This is the year that this kid had a dozen and a half meltdowns.

This is the year that the three-year olds walked by themselves and not in a backpack.

This is the year that our oldest boy carried the tree back to the van all by himself.

This is the year that it took us awhile to find that perfect tree.

This is the year that the Charmer lost his hat in the woods and the Ninja informed me that he had to pee AFTER we had put all his snow gear on.

This is the year that Miss Shiloh slept through the hunt.

We've ventured into the woods with these lovely friends for six years now. The group changes a bit every year, but the Gaws and the Clarks have stuck together each year since we moved to our little farmhouse out in the sticks in 2010.

And this is the year that the Lord gave me joy through it all because this is the year that our tribe was, well, our tribe. And when we hunt for our tree each year with this tribe, there is exploring, and adventure, laughing and often times a good amount of crying. Someone almost always looses something and by the time we all pile back into the van there are those who have conquered and those who are disappointed and those who have tucked a dozen unspoken joy-memories into their pockets to treasure for a lifetime. We don't venture out with this crew because it's convenient and care free. We venture out because there is ALWAYS joy to be found, even in the midst of our controlled chaos.

Our oldest asked me to make a video of our hunt. So here it is... ENJOY!

pASSWORD: christmas

mUSIC: Ragin Cajun Redneck Christmas

December 2016 from Kacy Clark on Vimeo.

Thanksgiving With Our Crew {Moments I Long To Remember}

2016-11-25T18:39:00.000-08:00

15 (million) potty stops later... we made it to Aunt Kristin & Uncle Beau's for Thanksgiving.

{This picture captures my life these days... Me on the side of the road; him with his pants wrapped around his ankles.}

On Thanksgiving morning she saw me getting ready in our little condo bathroom and asked if she could wear some red lipstick and if I could curl her hair. I love that she's still in the phase of wanting to be like her Mama.

She might only be one year old, but she didn't want to miss out on the girls getting ready. She sat at my feet and gazed up at me as I curled her sister's hair.

Sisters watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

She got a few 20 minute naps in the entire trip, but otherwise, she kept up with the best of em.

I just think he's handsome.

Aunt Kristin cooked an amazing dinner.

And the men were in charge of the turkeys.

I absolutely LOVE seeing my Dad laugh.

Tradition has it__ when the turkey hat is on your head, you get to say what you're thankful for.

Shiloh Faithy helping Aunt Kristin set the table.

Not everyone's brother marries one of his sister's best friends. I've known this amazing woman since I was 12. Now she's been my sister for nearly 18 years. She's an incredible Mama, wife and friend and I love that we get to spend holidays together with both our crews! Thanks for today sweet sister! Thanks for the fabulous food and the all the laughter. But mostly thanks for being my friend!

This is his second piece of pie. He ate a piece of pumpkin in one chair. Then he moved to another chair and told his sister that he hadn't had any pie and he'd like a slice of apple with ice cream on top please. He's a tricky tricky white boy I tell ya__ And I love every ounce of him.

This was their indoor climbing wall. Hours of entertainment.

Dancing in my apron with my darling.

Uncle Beau showing my Siah the ropes in turkey frying.

Her grown up side wanted to wear red lipstick and curl her hair today. But her little girl side still likes to soak up her Papa's lap.

5:30am. Hanging out in Mama and Papa's bed while the other four kids are fast ASLEEP!

Guest appearance by... Nacho Libre.

Family.

How thankful I am to have spent Thanksgiving with this crew.

Shiloh's Praise & Pie Party {Year One With Our Tiny Miracle}

2016-11-22T06:01:00.002-08:00

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.." Ephesians 3:20

This has been my theme with this little treasure of ours.

Her name means "abundance and this verse has been this constant voice in my mind that reminds me that no matter how inadequate I might feel sometimes, He__Is__Abundantly__Able.

He is always abundantly able.

This treasure has kept us so close to the Lord in a million tiny ways.

She's not a difficult child by any means, her life is simply a reminder.

It's a reminder of His faithfulness.

It's a reminder that He's faithful when gives

and He's faithful when He takes away.

It's a reminder that this whole crazy life is one giant gift.

And so, for her first birthday, we wanted to celebrate her, but we also just wanted to praise HIM__

To lift His name HIGH.

So we had ourselves a Praise & Pie Party here on the farm.

The Cowboy and I have a handful of scriptures that we pray continually over our kids. My treasure-friend, Tara, made cards with the verses that we picked specifically for Shiloh, along with a prayer for her.

At the party my Joey shared a bit of our journey with our kids and our heart to praise the Lord through all of it. Then each family got a card and we gathered under the leafless scrub brush, around the big table, and we read His Word, and praised His name, and THANKED Him for His faithfulness.

There is a verse that my thoughts go to often. It's a verse that is the deepest cry of my heart and so I pray it constantly. I pray it over my kids, over myself, over those most dear to me and over those who don't yet even know Christ.

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." {Philippians 1:20}

There was a time in my life where I struggled to read a few verses at a time because I felt they didn't apply to my life, or I didn't understand them.

As years have passed, I have found that I can spend months, even years, pondering the tiniest portion of scripture over and over again because there are long periods of time in my life where my deepest desires are the same. In fact, Philippians 1 might be one of those portions that I soak myself in for the rest of my days.

It was no coincidence that my precious friend Libby, who also lost a little one in a similar way that we lost our boys, got the card with Philippians 1:20 on it. My heart rejoiced as she slowly read the words through her tears around that picnic table yesterday. I don't know her thoughts in that moment, but in my own heart I was thinking about the beautiful things that the Lord does in our pain. And how it truly does take "sufficient courage" to not run from the hard in this life, but to truly trust that God is always in the business of making all things new.

Those twenty short minutes around the table were a sweet time for my soul to savor all that the Lord's given, when He didn't have to give anything at all.

How I LOVE that ALL truly is grace.

{On Saturday, my Grandma and I spent the day making my Great Grandma's pie recipes; Lemon, pumpkin & apple.}

{These two are two peas in a pod.}

{All the kids wanted to "help" Shiloh open her gifts.}

This little one's life has caused me to ask myself over and over again, "Is God really good? Always good?" Because He either is or isn't. He can't be in between. and if He is really always good, then am I willing to surrender to all that He has for me, no matter what that might be?

Her pregnancy, her birth, her first year has been the most tender season for me with the Lord. The way He's pursued me and challenged me, and strengthened me, and allowed me to break in the most fruitful of ways.

My life is crazy.
My house is full.
My days are busy.
And my mind is on constant overload.

But in the midst of it all, I am finding myself in a posture of praise__
Longing, trusting, believing that He is using my one willing and surrendered life for His glory.

Happy Birthday Joy-baby! You truly are an Abundant Gift and I've loved every second I've had with you!

Halloween

2016-11-06T05:18:00.000-08:00

Carving pumpkins with Gramps and Nana.

This year we had three ninjas, Honest Abe, a tiny Tink, and an Indian. All three girls have worn that Tinker Bell costume as some point in their lives. :)

Tired Tink. It's hard to believe that her first birthday is just around the corner. She's been nothing but an abundant gift to each of us this past year.

Then & Now

2016-10-19T09:59:00.002-07:00

I was just looking back this week at how much my kids have changed since we moved to the farm. In the 6 years we've been here, we have doubled our tribe.

{New born Jed in the stroller 6 years ago at the pumpkin patch...The year Jed was born, Siah started kindergarten. It was the same year we moved to the farm.)

(Little Shiloh Faithy in the stroller now.)

{Jed, then & now.}

(The Spunky Girl 6 years ago. Short, with the most adorable cheeks. )

(The Spunky Girl now. Tall & lanky with the same big brown eyes & wispy hair.)

One year ago on this very field of pumpkins, this little squish was in my tummy. Now she's almost ONE!

(6 years ago)

{One year ago...}

{Now.}

We had no idea what the Lord had in store for us when packed up and left everything we had ever known, to go to a place I had never been.

"Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the ONE who is leading." Oswald Chambers

How very very true.

As hard as it can be to take that first scary step, I have never once regretted leaving comfort for courage.

Because when we leave comfort for courage, we get to really know what it's like to live so intimately with such a faithful God.

I love that.

Happy

2016-10-14T10:44:00.000-07:00

"If you live gladly to make others glad in God, your life will be hard, your risks will be high, and your joy will be full."

John Piper

Possibly The Best Parenting Advice Anyone Has Ever Given Me

2016-10-08T10:22:00.000-07:00

Keep on keeping on.

So many times in this parenting journey I have thrown my hands up and asked myself what on earth I'm doing wrong.

I can't control these kids.

I can't make them do what needs doing.

They are going to struggle.

No. Matter. What. __

They. Are. Going. To. Struggle.

I think where we go wrong is in thinking that it's because our methods aren't working. So we try this, then we try that, then we try something else. In reality, if we just stuck with the original plan, we would most likely see fruit in time.

And that's the kicker:

In. Time.

Something in me thinks, if I stick with the plan for a day, or a week, or even a month, then my child should no longer struggle with this or that. But the truth that I need to hear continuously is that change takes time__ as in many months, years, decades, and maybe even a lifetime.

So if there is currently a liar under your roof, well then, hold that precious kid accountable to truth. Whatever the consequence, stick with it. Be consistent. Inspire that little heart to honesty. We have such a kiddo under our roof at this moment. At the core of the lying is a broken trust. So the consequence in our home is that the child sticks closer to Mama each time another lie slips off said kid's tongue. Instead of playing with siblings and friends he gets to do chores alongside me. He doesn't get the privilege of doing anything out of my sight. Why? Because I can't trust him. And trust is built back up in a painstakingly slow time-frame. Sometimes the kid is with me for days on end. Is this convenient for me? Not really. But I am discovering that some of the the sweetest parts of parenting are more sanctifying than convenient.

If you have a defiant little one, keep on keeping on, and remind that kid over and over and over again that there is so much joy in learning to come up under authority with joy. Not because Mama and Papa want to be some kind of crazy dictators, but because the Lord asks us to obey, and HE IS WORTHY of our obedience.

If we can convince our kids to obey with joy when we ask them to sit on their bottom at the table, or come when we call them, or stay by us in the parking lot so they don't get hit by a car, then it will be that much easier for them to say a joyful yes to the Lord when he asks more difficult things of them as they grow.

If we have a kid with an attitude, we combat it with kindness and accountability. We show them the importance of confessing their rudeness and making it right by humbling ourselves when we find ourselves spouting off in a moment of frustration or tiredness.

I have a preteen who brings oodles of emotion into our home right now. A lot of times if I humbly confront him on his tone or his drama, he quickly softens. I say things like, "Did I do something to offend you? Is that why you're speaking to me that way?" or I might say, "Would you care for me to speak to you that way?" Or if he's mad at something I've asked of him to do, "Would you like me to serve you with joy when you ask something of me or would you rather I snap at you?"

When I gently point out to him the way that he just treated me, he usually apologizes quickly and we can begin our conversation again in a kinder way. If you don't get this kind of response, keep on keeping on. I have another kid who regularly responds to my correction with an argument or flat out defiance. He'll tell me straight up that he does not want to do what I am telling him to do. So we keep at it with that one.

If a kid witnesses a humble, patient, firm and consistent Mama on a daily basis, it will impact him. Our efforts are not for not. Life is a marathon sweet Mamas, not a sprint. The most magnificent trees in the world took centuries to grow into their glory. The most stubborn children have the ability to be some of the most passionate Christ followers the world has ever known. {Read about George Muller or Brother Andrew.}

These middle year attitudes have been going on for a couple years now. We confront them. We speak life into them. We encourage a different response and hold them accountable to a different response. We don't leave the situation until both our hearts are soft towards one another.

We don't ignore.

We press in.

We take the time because they are worthy of our time. We see bits of fruit in the moments when their hearts soften, but the issue is still there, and more than likely, a new offense comes up again five minutes after the last offense. It might be there for the next ten years. AND THAT"S OK. I think it's ok because that's the human heart. I don't know a single human who has a heart issue going on that only lasts for one day.

I long for my kids to know that struggling is a part of being alive. I don't want them to get this false idea that Christians somehow become miraculously without sin one day. The only thing that separates Christ-followers from anyone else, is that they have a hope that comes from Christ. They have a place to go to confess their struggles and they have a mighty God who forgives generously and who is faithful to complete the work that He has begun in us.

I sat with a friend at Chicfila the other day and an issue came up with one of her kids. This friend is passionate about Christ. She seeks His face constantly. She's humble and trusts the Lord with her treasures. But as our kids walked back into the play place she said, "I don't know what to do anymore." And the Lord whispered it to both our hearts as I said it out loud. "Friend, you just keep on keeping on. You don't need a new method. You just need to stick with what you're already doing. Keep speaking life into your boy. Keep holding him accountable. Keep praying over him. Stay consistent. And trust the Lord is faithful to do so much more than you are able to think up or imagine."

That same friend once shared this verse with me,

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9)

Bank on that Mamas.
Truly.
Whether you are pouring in and praying for months, years, or even a lifetime, over your treasures__

The. Lord. Is. Faithful.

That, my friends, is possibly the best parenting advice that anyone has ever given me__

{Photos of the sweet family staying with us and Janna Rose's 8th birthday here at The Farm.}

Keep on keeping on__

For at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

The Lord is so very faithful.