The Musings of Joanna Reyburn

It's the End of the Age, and other Reasons Not to Go to College?

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 20:40:26 +0000

I was working on an iPhone/iPad app I help to manage for the International House of Prayer, and I saw this video titled: Should I go To College if it's the End of the Age. They must get this question quite a lot if they make a Q&A video about it! Their answers are very steadied and I don't disagree with anything they had to say on the subject, but this did get the wheels turning in my head. I thought the best way express some of those thoughts are to write a letter to my younger self and let you read it, and thankfully, on my blog I don't have to be as politically correct!

Dear 17-year-old Joanna,

Now that we're married with a husband, a full-time job, two-dogs and a house, I thought I'd let you we got here, and some tidbits of info that would have been helpful along the way. I know right now, your plan is to graduate high school early and go to Lausanne, Switzerland for a YWAM DTS and go to the foreign mission field. I don't want to ruin the surprise of how the heck you're still in your hometown 10 years later, but here's the tidbits of advice I promised.

1. You don't know what you're called to, and that's okay. This idea that a 17-year-old person knows what they're "called" to do just isn't reality. Think about the Bible. None of those guys "knew" what they were called to, how it would play out, or what it would look like. Think of Joseph: he has a vague dream and no idea what it really means... and that's totally okay! It's not about the definition, or the destination, it's about the journey. If you commit now, 17-year-old Joanna to the journey, then everything else is going to work itself out in the Providence of God. Take the opportunities that come your way, try different jobs, learn what you like and what you don't like, work on your skills, become a better person, keep your heart open to the Lord and don't hold too tightly to your expectations because it NEVER turns out the way we think it will.

Give your twenties to new experiences, to learning and growing, to being prepared for who the Lord is forming you to be. When people (and trust me, they will) try and get you to do something like get "locked-in" and "commit for the long-haul" or ask you to make "10-year commitments" to an organization or ministry when you're 20 years old, politely say "NO." Maybe they'll make it spiritual, about God or whatever, and that's okay, they mean well, but they're not investing in the long-term maturation of your character, life experience, and destiny in God. Let God lead you, and learn all you can. In your 30's you'll start to get more clarity as to what to really put your hand to. Don't rush into it.

2. College is not the devil. I know you just want to be "sold-out" for Jesus. You want to give him everything. You want to be prepared for the end of the age. I know Jesus may come back before you graduate. I know. But the truth is college isn't the devil. It may or may not be right for you, but don't throw it out of the equation. God's called you to great things, and like I said in #1, you really have no idea what that looks like yet. Many of those "great things" may require some higher education, vocational training, foreign languages, or a master's degree. Who knows! But think "big picture" not just, "why am I paying money to sit in a class with these heathens!" It may be hard work, take perseverance and resistance to temptation, but in the long run, it really may worth it. Ask the Lord about it.

3. Debt kind of is the devil. Now this I've sorta learned from your future husband. Repeat this after me: "Debt is BAD!" Why are you so horrified about college, but not about debt? If your back-up for when God doesn't provide for your missions trip is to charge it on the CC, first of all, you're not learning the God-provision lessons, and secondly you're creating some bad habits for the future. God is a provider, he LOVES to provide, but He also wants you to have a job right now kiddo because working hard disciplines your will and keeps you out of a lot of teenage trouble. The borrower is servant to the lender, and if you're having to borrow, you need to stop and figure out what's going on, cause something ain't right.

Now I know you may think this contradicts #2 about college because, hey, college is expensive. You may need to get a student loan, but you don't have to go to that $20,000 a year college, and you don't need to buy a car and tour Europe on your student loans. You don't need a new mac for school, a $300 netbook really will work. You do not want your future hog-tied to endless payments. Trust me.

4. Beware of tattoos, felonies and other short-sighted decisions. Sounds like a joke right? I'm not kidding. When you're 20, hand tattoos may sound like a great idea, but they may not be. Remember how #1 about not really knowing all that you're called to be and do...well think about that when you make decisions. Sure, at 17 you may not be able to fathom getting a job in corporate world, or becoming an elected official, but that may change in 10 or 20 years. The Lord has a lot for you. Just like debt, you don't want your destiny saddled with the vestiges of your adolescence (go look up vestiges) that may prevent you from taking a job, holding office, or being able to travel to a foreign country.

More soon, but I hope this helps,

Future Joanna.

Downloading Worship Music

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 18:01:18 +0000

My Heart for Sharing Worship Music with the Nations

I've had this website going for quite a few years, and I've made it a priority to share as much worship music for free download as I can get my hands on. I post my devotional worship sets from the IHOP Prayer Room every time I get the opportunity, and sometimes I'll post other worship leader's audio with permission. Doing this takes time, money for hosting, and some effort, but I have heard so much feedback from people all around the world who have been blessed by being able to download long-play worship sessions, burn them to cd's, make playlists, share with their friends. The most precious letters I've received are from missionaries and people in countries restricted to Christian activities and people who are unable to gather together with other Christians in congressional worship. For these, the ability to download and own worship music in the music library is vital.

Some worship leaders may be worried about their spontaneously composed un-copyrighted music being "stolen", or potentially losing money from people not buying their actual albums. I have found both of those to NOT be the case. I do have a "real" studio-recorded album, and I've chosen to not give it away for free. I don't feel condemned about charging a industry-competitive price for my album. it wasn't free for me to make, even though I did receive financial help to make it. Duplication and distribution costs exist, and that's just the way things are. But providing free downloads of my live worship recordings have allowed people to get to know my worship before paying for it, and have provided worship content for those who actually can't afford to purchase an album.

It has always been on my heart to encourage other worship leaders at IHOP and other places to provide free downloads of their long-play worship sessions. As a worship leader, there are fears associated with it, some of which I've mentioned. Others are based on insecurities about having your raw, un-produced music archived for the world to hear. And those are real fears. I've posted worship sessions that I personally can't listen to because I think my voice sounds awful, or I hate that I make goofs on the piano (which I do every single time.) Or maybe I flubbed my words somewhere in the middle of it. But that's just life, and I've come to realize that in my priestly ministry before the Lord - ministering to His heart, ministering to His people, I just can't afford to get hung up on that kind of stuff. I can either do a set at IHOP that exists live, and in an archived environment on the website (that I'm blessed to say I had a part in pioneering), but drops into oblivion in 2 weeks, or I could share on my website where thousands of people can download it and potentially be blessed, and enter into greater relationship with Jesus over and over again. That's so worth it to me.

Petition

So I'm putting this petition out there, and I'd like to hear from you. As a worshipper or worship leader. I've encouraged every single worship leader to make their own website like mine, but in reality, that can be too difficult and time consuming for someone who isn't as tech-savvy as I am. I thought about hosting mp3's here on this website, which I can do - but I know some people may be concerned that I would be personally benefitting from posting that kind of content, which I'd probably be concerned about if I were them - or maybe they think I write stuff they don't want to be associated with....

Addressing Concerns

To address these concerns, I'm going to put together a unique website, which I'll let you know more about. I'm going to manage it myself, but it's not going to have pictures of my dogs at the top, or girly flowers, or personal stuff. It's going to be something generic like "Worship Music Library." It's not going to be IHOP-specific, but I am going to personally petition every worship leader at IHOP to give me a "yes" or "no" regarding putting up the live worship recordings they provide. I'm also going to ask some other awesome worship leaders that I know to contribute. I'll put up links on their worship content to a website they run, or an album they have so if you were blessed by a free download, you can buy their album, but's it's not going to be about crazy advertising or money generation, it's going to be about exalting Jesus, ministering to His heart, and His people.

I Need Your Help

This is where I need your help. Please "sign the petition" by putting your name in the comments section so that I can show other worship leaders just how helpful this would be, and how much interest there is in it. Also include comments like the worship leaders you'd like to hear, or how you've been blessed by downloading live spontaneous worship.

If you're a worship leader with content to contribute your music, I want to personally hear from you. Check out this contact form.

For His glory,

Vocational Changes in My Life

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 04:54:03 +0000

Just a quick note here - if you follow me on Twitter, or are friends on Facebook, you may notice my hinting around about a new working location. Well it's true - I've started a new job this week in downtown Kansas City with a digital marketing agency (I won't say which one). This is a big move for me. Not only am I not working for non-profit for the first time in almost 10 years (minus two very brief stints in a furniture store and a shipping logistics company), but I'm getting out of my pajamas on a daily basis, leaving my puppies, and driving 30 minutes in traffic.

I did not go searching for this job, it found me. I was not intending to leave my position at the International House of Prayer. My boss and friend Jono Hall is really truly amazing, and my work for the ministry has consistently been very challenging and yet fulfilling at the same time. Honestly, this transition has happened so fast, I haven't really had the opportunity to process it all, but I do know that it's okay - that it's the right time for a change. I am proud to have been able to have been a part of so many amazing technological projects from the first website, to the launching of 24/7 streaming, website improvements, and the development of an iPhone and iPad app (and Androids, I promise it really is soon! Maybe even Windows 7, are y'all out there?) that I feel really fulfilled a piece of the prophetic words about this worship movement. (Bob Jones' word about people in rice fields participating with a live prayer meeting - that's happening with the apps and mobile streaming!), development of a "super player" and finally, my long-time dream of an IHOP teaching library. It's coming people!

Now I'm excited about working for a professional company, gaining more experience, broadening my perspective on digital marketing and sharpening and refining my web development skills. I am so thankful for an encouraging husband, and am looking forward to building for our future together (eventually we'd like some little J.May's running around). As a family, we've established a goal to live debt-free and living within our means by limiting our expenses and giving extravagantly, and we've got some catch-up to do to get there. I'm also looking forward to releasing another devotional album. Speaking of devotionals, I'll be leading a 2pm devotional set in the Prayer Room this coming Saturday if you're in the area. I'm also excited to enhance this blog and it's resource collection, and up my writing schedule.

I will still be maintaining and enhancing the IHOP apps in the future. Android audio-only streaming is currently being tested, and looks promising for Android 2.2 and above. Video streaming is ready to go, and I anticipate a soon release. I'll still be working closely with the IHOP team, but I won't be working in the full-time capacity that I have in the past. I appreciate your prayers for me and my husband as we walk through this transition, and will take any encouragement you've got. Anytime you quit a vocational ministry job, whether for a brief time or the long-term, that Mary/Martha stuff rares its head. I'm sure there will be some reflections on that in upcoming blog posts, but I wanted to give you, my friends, a brief life update.

Blessings,

Friends Making Music

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 18:31:31 +0000

I am so blessed to have some amazing friends that make awesome music! I don't share IHOP's Forerunner Music releases, because I figure you guys already know all about them, but I wanted to share about some of my friends that you may not be as familiar with:

William Matthews - Hope's Anthem

I think of William as one of my best friends that I live far away from. In many ways we are kindred [free] spirits, in other ways we are total opposites! Right now, I'm missing the times we sat around the dinner table debating some spiritual concept until we both get so frazzled we have to stop and have pie. He's the kind of friend that will tell you the truth you need to hear, but don't wanna, and everyone else is chicken to tell you. I love this guy, he embraces life, is lot's of fun, and carries that prophetic songbird anointing that I'm a personal fan of.

I've been waiting a long time for him to release his own album after years of singing, worship leading and songwriting at Morningstar Ministries, the International House of Prayer, and now at home at Bethel Church in Redding. Hope's Anthem comes on the heels of having two songs on Bethel's wonderful worship album, Be Lifted High. Hope's Anthem explores a lot of musical territory, and does so comfortably from r&b and pop to the edges of country. And worship leaders - many of his songs on this album will find a home in Sunday services with corporate worship. Check it out and tell me what you think.
Available on iTunes or take a listen below.

William Matthews - Hope's Anthem by Bethel Music

Michael Ketterer - Love/War/Solar System

Honestly, I don't personally know Michael - it's one of those "friend of a friend" scenarios, but when our friend, Brandon Hampton asked my husband to listen to his music and write some stuff, we got a little preview listen.

I'm going to be totally honest: my first response was to wrinkle my nose and say, "Is this guy black or white? Is this gospel, worship, electronica or pop? I'm so confused!" But like all my very favorites albums, the more I listened, the more it grew and grew and grew on me. Like my all-time favorite, Kevin Prosch's Palanquin. When I first heard that album 10 some-odd years ago, I hated it. I worked in a bookstore warehouse, and my boss Josh Farmer would play that thing on repeat! Then suddenly, I LOVED it, and have loved it ever since. I think Michael's music will be like that too. If you need more of a teaser, check out this music video:

United Pursuit Presents: Michael Ketterer from United Pursuit on Vimeo.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, my husband J.May is featured on two songs, and not that I'm partial or anything, but they are awesome! Check out Love/War/Solar System on iTunes, and stay tuned for a possible tour - then maybe I'll get to meet him in person and be friends (and not tell him how I wasn't sure about his music at first). Check it out on iTunes.

Bryan & Katie Torwalt - Here On Earth

I met Bryan in Canada a few years ago with my friend Kayle Mumby, and he was one of those people that you like instantly and have a connection with. That seems to be the case with a lot of my Canadian friends, unfortunately they're so dang far away!

Bryan was always talking about his gal Katie (I still haven't met Katie in person, which is a bummer, but now her and Bryan are out in California and are friends with lots of my friends, so it's bound to happen), but when I saw a bootleg video of them leading worship at a Shawn Bolz conference, I was absolutely entranced. Katie has an AMAZING voice, but that's not all, she's incredibly anointed! Both of them are. It's like a Holy Spirit party in my living room just listening to them and their album is on my soaking "lay on the floor and talk to Jesus" playlist (Yes, I really have one). If you don't believe me, turn on this video and see why for yourself and check out their album on iTunes.

Words words words

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 19:42:30 +0000

I recently finished a [written] interview with All About Worship [.com] on worship leading at IHOP, being married to a rapper, and my new album. You can read it here. I'm not going to lie, it took me forever to finish, and I rewrote everything about 3 times. It's one thing to write a post on my own blog where I feel known and loved, with hundreds of wordy posts that give context to who I am and what I'm blabbing about, it's something else to write an "interview" to an audience that probably hasn't heard of me at all. Being able reread and edit, while still trying to sound like it's something I'd actually say if we were having a conversation was a little difficult. Being sincere is one of my life values, and as I was working on this, I was reminded why.

And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and all discernment; That you may approve things that are excellent; that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ. Philippians 1:9-10

Sincere.

I want to be sincere in everything that I do. Another word I substitute for that is "authentic." I want everything that I do and say to be filled with authenticity - something that's real to me. Not just conjured or made-up, or what I feel like I'm supposed to say, feel, and express. I want to be real, yo. I think this is something that many people in my generation hold as a value. They've become disillusioned with parents, mentors, pastors or leaders in the body of Christ for putting on a facade and pretending. They're tired of being sold a party line or a bill of goods. They're looking for sincerity, for reality and it's become our rallying cry. But in the quest for reality, we've missed the second part...

Without offense.

Have you ever heard someone say something offensive, then shrug it off saying, "I'm just being real!" I love how this verse follows with the prayer that we would be without offense until the day of Christ. That in our quest for sincerity, we would not sacrifice the bond of brotherly love and preference toward another. It's a balancing act for sure, and it is especially hard for me, maybe not in writing - but definitely in person.

You see, I have a problem with my words. I don't know when it started - it's as if it's always been there, even as a small child. But when I feel backed up against a corner, or feel strongly about something, I have a tendency to whip out my sword, and trust me, it's not the Bible. This secret weapon is the word of my mouth. And let me tell you, when the verbal sparring starts, somebody's getting slashed and it is not me. Many times, I have been so absorbed with the "truth" being said, that I've had zero regard to the delicacy or diplomacy of my delivery. I am hopelessly black and white, and for years, I felt like somehow this justified my behavior. Combine an analytical mind, a little discernment, and a sharp tongue, and you've got a pretty ruthless combination. This little habit of mine can stay under wraps for a while, but would eventually manifest itself in my job, ministry, friendship, and then...yep, you knew it was coming, my marriage.

Marriage has a peculiar way of revealing the heart like, um instantly, and it just isn't nice to verbally decimate your spouse. Most people don't respond well to verbal attack, and especially not my husband! He even has a special word for it, but I won't tell you what it is. Needless to say, I've had lots of practice in the past year on loving and honoring with my words, while sincerely communicating how I feel and what I think, and it has been the gift of the Lord! He knew what was lying dormant in my heart and that it needed to get dealt with. I've got a few posts up my sleeve on how the Lord uses covenant marriage relationships to prune/sharpen/reveal/expose/undo/reshape/redeem/restore - but I'll save those till later. I do want to share some of the keys the Lord gave me in the process:

1. Take Some Time

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19

Do you remember in You've Got Mail (cause who hasn't seen that movie right?) where Kathleen Kelly [Meg Ryan] wants to say exactly what she thinks in the moment but can't seem to find the words, and Joe Fox [Tom Hanks] explains that he can and does, but lives to regret it? Well I am Joe Fox. Many times, stuff comes flying out of my mouth that I just wish I could take back. But I'm learning (just learning, not mastered) that before I let the Queen of Snarky come out of her hidey hole, to take a few minutes to breathe, and relax before firing off that email or breaking out my verbal machete. Quick to listen, slow to speak. Deep breath. It really helps me.

2. Have Graceful Speech, Seasoned with Salt

Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. Colossians 4:6

For a while, I think I interpreted this Scripture like I could just throw some salt in there, and if it got in some wounds, well that was too bad. I don't think that's what it means. But it also doesn't mean having an answer is wrong - it doesn't say "Mum's the word" and we should be quite and demure all the time. Jesus had a lot to say, but he had grace upon his lips, and we should too. So many times I pray that my words would be filled with "grace and flavor" instead of a "harsh and hurtful" M.O.

3. Speak the Truth in Love

...speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. Ephesians 4:14-15

I mentioned that I'm pretty black and white right? I have been in situations where something needed to be said to an individual: maybe they were manifesting glaring, obvious, harmful issues or behavior, or a situation was biblically, morally, ethically what-have-you wrong. And whether they were non-confrontational, or didn't want to commit to the pastoral follow-through, for whatever reason, "leadership" in the situation never confronted the individual and the result was irreparable harm to their personal life and walk with the Lord. Those are the places in my heart that I have the most difficult time walking in forgiveness towards leaders. Oh how it pains me.

There are times as a leader, in whatever capacity, or in relationship that you will need to speak the truth to your friend, your spouse, or your flock. It may be difficult and uncomfortable, but it is your God-given responsibility and cannot be shirked by being "slow to speak." That's an inappropriate application. Whether it's speaking the truth against deceitful teaching as this verse is referring, or speaking the truth to deceitful lifestyle or heart posture, this is something we're mandated to walk out. But it's truth in love and boy does that make all the difference. Walking in love isn't something that you can just decide one day to do, it takes prayerful pursuit to walk out more and more.

Called as a messenger, struggling with the delivery?

Maybe you're like me. Feel called to be a messenger, long to be authentic and sincere, but struggle at the "without offense" part. Or maybe you've spent so much time trying to avoid offending others that you've lost the authority and uniqueness of your own voice. It's important to remember that God has called us to be both sincere and without offense. There's no place for either robot yes-men, or renegade verbal assassins.

YouTube Channel and Bookstores

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 17:40:26 +0000

I've started a YouTube Channel to upload some clips from prayer room set to. Here's a preview. And here's my channel if you want to subscribe. There's only 3 right now, but I'm working on posting more.

I'm also looking for bookstores to submit my album to. If your church or ministry has a bookstore or upcoming conference and would like to consider stocking my cd, please us the contact form (link in the right sidebar) to send me a message about it.

I'm thankful for the following churches and ministries that are currently selling my cd. First Assembly DeLand in DeLand Florida, The Ramp in Hamilton, Alabama, and the Forerunner Bookstore in Kansas City.

If you're interested in buying a physical copy of my album, please use the Forerunner Bookstore, or if you're interested in quantities of 10 or more, contact me.

I'm so thankful to everyone who have purchased the cd from the Forerunner Bookstore (they sold out and have reordered!), or from the digital methods iTunes or Amazon. I've currently sold 165 cd's to bookstores and friends. Unfortunately, I don't have an accurate numbers for the digital downloads at this time, but on February 14, when the album debuted on iTunes, it was #98 on the Gospel charts. I'm pretty excited about #98. Thank you all for your support.

Finding Liturgy and Discovering Theology

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 23:35:23 +0000

Maybe it's because I grew up in an evangelical, non-denominational, charismatic, rhyming worship songs, sanctuary-with-basketball-goals type of church, but I love me some liturgy. This Christmas Eve, my husband and I went to a midnight mass at small-town West Virginia Anglican church, and we've decided it will become a yearly tradition for us. Something about a quaint old sanctuary, candle-lit ambiance, organist and choir playing ancient hymns, and a sermon called a Homily that just seems a more appropriate way to honor the incarnation of Jesus than the "Christmas Cantada" I'm used to. I love the antiphonal prayers, Scripture reading, kneeling, standing, sitting, kneeling, standing combo, and every time I say the Apostle's Creed, I am moved to remember the tenants of this faith I hold so dear.

    I believe in God, the Father almighty,
    maker of heaven and earth;
    And in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord;
    who was conceived by the Holy Ghost,
    born of the Virgin Mary,
    suffered under Pontius Pilate,
    was crucified, dead, and buried.
    He descended into hell.
    The third day he rose again from the dead.
    He ascended into heaven,
    and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father almighty.
    From thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.
   I believe in the Holy Ghost,
    the holy Church,
    the communion of saints,
    the forgiveness of sins,
    the resurrection of the body,
    and the life everlasting. Amen.

In a small chapel, filled with penitent candlelit faces, I am usually moved to tears. On Christmas Eve, J.May, my husband, leaned over and whispered, "Are you okay?" With tears were streaming down my face, I totally missed the cue from the little choir-robed girl to go up to the front to receive communion. And once you miss the line, you're out of luck. I thought to myself, "We probably looked like those heathens that aren't baptized and can't take communion." Part of me wanted to clarify to everyone after the service, "No really, we do know how to take communion, and we're allowed." But I didn't. We quietly and revently made our way back to our car, holding hands, thinking about the incarnate Christ, and it was beautiful.

I remember at a Onething conference in Calgary, Alberta, Luke Wood sang that Rich Mullins song 'Creed.' A friend of mine came to me afterward saying, "You know, I didn't really ever think about what specifically makes me a Christian, but it really is all those things in that song."

Now I'm not religious about this, but I also very much like the Book of Common Prayer, and enjoy readings and prayers from it. (If you're really looking for a copy, I'd recommend a used bookstore.) Maybe with all the hubub and commotion in the modern world, there's something in me that longs to see some sort of a return to solemnity, doctrine, and substance. This blog is probably chalk full of those kind of musings.

Since it is evening for me now, here's an excerpt from the Book of Common Prayer which is also available online. You have to admit, this is some goodness!

I will bless the Lord, who giveth me counsel; my heart
teacheth me, night after night. I have set the Lord always
before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not fall.

Psalm 16:7,8
V.    O Lord, show thy mercy upon us;
R.    And grant us thy salvation.
V.    Endue thy ministers with righteousness;
R.    And make thy chosen people joyful.
V.    Give peace, O Lord, in all the world;
R.    For only in thee can we live in safety.
V.    Lord, keep this nation under thy care;
R.    And guide us in the way of justice and truth.

V.    Let thy way be known upon earth;
R.    Thy saving health among all nations.
V.    Let not the needy, O Lord, be forgotten;
R.    Nor the hope of the poor be taken away.
V.    Create in us clean hearts, O God;
R.    And sustain us with your Holy Spirit.

Lord Jesus, stay with us, for evening is at hand and the day
is past; be our companion in the way, kindle our hearts, and
awaken hope, that we may know thee as thou art revealed in
Scripture and the breaking of bread. Grant this for the sake
of thy love.    Amen.

Almighty God, Father of all mercies,
we thine unworthy servants
do give thee most humble and hearty thanks
for all thy goodness and loving-kindness
to us and to all men.
We bless thee for our creation, preservation,
and all the blessings of this life;
but above all for thine inestimable love
in the redemption of the world by our Lord Jesus Christ;
for the means of grace, and for the hope of glory.
And, we beseech thee,
give us that due sense of all thy mercies, that our hearts may be unfeignedly thankful;
and that we show forth thy praise,
not only with our lips, but in our lives,
by giving up our selves to thy service,
and by walking before thee
in holiness and righteousness all our days;
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
to whom, with thee and the Holy Spirit,
be all honor and glory, world without end.     Amen.

Christians have become so fearful of anything that appears 'religious' or 'traditional,' that we have so often thrown the baby right out with the bathwater. Have you ever been to a more traditional service and felt the presence of the Lord? What was it like? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Here's My Cup to release on Valentine's Day

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 07:02:07 +0000

Here's My Cup, my long-awaited (by my husband) recording project is set to release on iTunes and Amazon mp3 on Valentine's Day - Monday, February 14, 2011. What a great day right? It's the perfect day for an album like this, which is really about letting Jesus love on you. If you're more into a actual CD, do not fear, they are following just days later so you won't have to wait too long. I did spent a lot of time designing it, and I think you'll like it.

A while back, I created this album teaser below - this was made before the album was done and is a little rough, but the finished product is much more, well, finished. This does give you an idea of what the album will be like. It's 50 minutes of long-play devotional worship, a few tracks are 10-minutes long with violin, flute, and a band, and such. I even pray on the album. It's no Laura Woodley Osman Prayer, and I was so so nervous in the studio prayer, but I did it! Hopefully now it will just become more and more second nature.

It's a scary thing to go out on a limb like this, releasing an album after years and years of waiting. I can't believe it's almost out! After giving my music away for a while, I hope you won't mind if I put a price tag on this one to cover some costs, and hopefully create a little cushion for the next album. This project wouldn't be financially possible for me at all were it not for David and Joy Z - an amazing couple came to a devo of mine in the prayer room during the 10-year anniversary. The Lord spoke to them about funding my first cd. And it was such a God thing, I can't even express to you the scope of it. They are the real deal, and have covered me in prayer, and called forth destiny in my heart.

Ah but this is getting long-winded, and I never intended for that to be the case, so check out this preview, share with friends that may be blessed by this sort of thing, and I hope to see you on iTunes on Valentine's Day and let Jesus sing over you of His love and affection.

On a Mobile Device? Click Here to Play the album teaser.

Attached audio files:

Joanna Reyburn Album Teaser

The Aching, Sobbing, Heartbreak of Longing

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 15:49:25 +0000

A few nights ago, I was playing my piano and singing and worshiping when suddenly it hit me: the aching, sobbing, heartbreak of longing. I started crying, "What if I never get there in God. What if my lifestyle, my job, the way I spend my time, my house, my spouse, my dogs, my apathy, lethargy and laziness, the weakness of my frame, the cares of this life, and all the things that could, get in the way of my pursuit of the Lord!"

My husband found me there in a puddle over my piano and held me while I sobbed.

Days later, the overwhelming emotions of the moment are gone, but the constant desire to be near to the Lord remains along with lingering questions about how to go about that, and fears that it may never happen.

I am going to be 26 in a month, and I remember like yesterday when I moved to the House of Prayer almost nine years ago. I was a wide-eyed 17-year-old looking upon that time of my life as the commencement of my pursuit for the knowledge of God. I remember vividly our prayer room "day of consecration" in our internship. My friend Abbie and I sat beside each other for 12 hours, and at the end of our day, we were crying and still weren't ready to leave. It was a precious time where every sermon contained some nugget of revelation that I was eager to receive, when all I wanted was to be like Mary of Bethany wasting my life at the feet of Jesus. When I imagined myself 10 years later, it was such a glorious thing because surely I would be so close to the Lord.

The years have been good, but they've also been hard. I've learned a lot of things, and much of it has been the hard way. I've learned that a ministry didn't save me, Jesus did, therefore I live for Him alone. I've learned that people make mistakes, and the mercy I don't give is the mercy I don't get (thank you Kevin Prosch). I've learned that just because I have a particular gifting, or personality, everyone else doesn't have to suffer because of it. I discovered that I didn't miss out on anything by pursuing Jesus instead of college, or my career, relationships or influence. I didn't miss a blessed thing.

I've gone through financial debt, depression, health problems, broken heart, being completely misunderstood, making an ass of myself, and feeling totally disqualified from the call of God. I've also experienced healing, restoration, deliverance, supernatural encounters, favor and provision.

I have learned so much about the end times (Escatalogy) and the theology of Jesus (Christology), I've gained immense practical ministry experience, led worship for countless hours in corporate worship settings with full band, and by myself in prophetic spontaneous worship, I've prayed for people and have seen them healed of physical ailments and delivered from real demons. I've had dreams, and seen them play out on the news, and I've given specific words that have come to pass. And I know countless others just like me. And the frightening reality is that dozens who have experienced the very same thing now find themselves in a stagnant form of religion denying the power of God that is available. And I really really really don't want that to be me.

What I'm most worried about isn't sin necessarily. I've been in sin before, I'll probably (although hopefully not) be there again, but whatever that sin was, it always ate at me. My conscience troubled me into repentance. Willful disobedience to the Lord is just really a very unpleasant experience. No, what I am more worried about is the complacency of the mundane. For me, the great difficulty is faithfulness - no more than just faithfulness, more like taking ground in the day-to-day. When you're living out your life, most of the time it just doesn't seem that glorious. Most of the time, I feel like my life consists of working, laundry, cooking, cleaning, trying to remember something I wanted to do or was supposed to do, more cleaning, working on the house, letting dogs outside, and back inside. When I do get a chance to read my Bible, pray deliberately, and worship, much of the time I feel like I'm fighting with my brain to get some space back to devote to the Lord, and trying not to simultaneously make my grocery list. I want to be watchful that the complacency of the mundane doesn't drown out my passion for the Lord!

There are many scriptures that deal specifically with this issue, I will just list a few that bring my attention to the reality that many people will become jaded with life, their love for Jesus will grow cold, they will worry and be consumed with anxiety, and the pursuit of wealth.

"Be on guard, so that your hearts will not be weighted down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of life, and that day will not come on you suddenly like a trap" Luke 21:34
"Because lawlessness will increase so much, the love of many will grow cold." Matthew 24:12
"The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful." Matthew 13:22

and like I said, I really really really don't want that to be me. (Part of me wants to detour briefly to the subject about how the Humanity of Jesus gives so much dignity to our own often mundane human experience, but I'm going to save that one for another blog post.) For now, I'll leave you with this message from Dana Candler from a few weeks ago about Renewing our Pursuit for the Knowledge of God, which is what I'm doing right now too. I'm not giving up on that desire of fellowship and abiding with the Lord, and neither should you.

Attached audio files:

Dana Candler - Renewing Our Pursuit for the Knowledge of God

IHOP-KC iPhone App Released

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 19:18:04 +0000

I don't talk a lot about my work on this blog, but I did want to share a little bit about one of my latest projects. Yesterday we released the official International House of Prayer iPhone/iPod Touch application. As of yet, there's hasn't been a whole lot of hooplah around it because we're still trying to get it updated with all the doodads we want to have on there and make some crucial updates (ahem, spelling). We worked with a great company who prayed with me every time we had a conference call, and despite general fatigue from looking at lines of xml and transcoding lots of videos and audio, I am pretty excited, and I encourage you to download it. And a perk: It's free. Android and iPad soon to follow.

Update: It just dawned on my that this may be the only blog post about this app, so let's talk some credits: Gedy Rivera, designer extraordinaire at IHOP-KC and LifeTree Creative designed the amazing icon and loading screen. Most photos in the app are from Shelley Paulson, App interface by the Church App peeps, and streaming of the prayer room made possible by the amazing media team at IHOP-KC.

Less promotionally, (I don't want to be posting "do this" and "download that" unless my husband has a new song, then it's a shameless plug), I LOVE being able to resource people with things that will authentically serve their walk with the Lord. I've never been a big fan of promos and hype, I have a rep for brutal honesty (which I'm learning through repeated and painful discipline from the Lord to season with grace), but I would love to be able to work with ministries that are producing content that really serves people in their walk with the Lord and help them present their content in a way that is accessible, convenient and free. It makes my insides all tingly.

So in light of that, I'm compiling a list of "Groups of People I'd Enjoy Making Another App For" or "People Who Already have Apps that You May not Know About" or "Free Downloads and Teachings and Stuff that I Actually Listen to Regularly" (Can you tell I'm tired and not very eloquent right now?)

**Disclaimer: I do work for IHOP-KC, but all the thoughts and musings and recommendations on my blog are mine and mine alone. I may listen to speakers that others IHOPers don't like at all.

(I'm not saying that I do, but it's possible.)

I may listen to people who have wacky theology on some issues, or people who may fall into sin tomorrow

(I think that's all of us).

Most people at IHOP-KC don't know I have a blog or care. If I recommend something, it's not IHOP-KC recommending it.

(There. I'm sure someone will appreciate that.)**

Neville Johnson. I love Neville. I feel like my spirit has received more discipling through his messages than anyone I have ever listened to, and I would LOVE to be able to work with a team to redo his website and develop an online resource library and app. I post many of his messages in my "Teaching" category because his stuff is very hard to find online and people NEED to hear him. I almost saw him speak live for the first time this summer in Alberta, but last minute, he was unable to come. He does currently have a podcast, so check him out.

Chuck Missler. I'm a nerd, I'm not going to lie, and sometimes I just need to hear a 45-message series on the Book of Genesis dissecting every Hebrew word in the book, or something about Quantum Physics and the creation of the world. And when I'm there, there's nobody like Chuck. The guy can make a meaningful salvation message out of the genealogy of Noah. I would LOVE to see him with a comprehensive resource website, easy to find downloads of his incredible charts, actually the guy needs a study bible too. He's also does currently have an extensive podcast.

David Pawson Is there anything he doesn't have wisdom about? So many great messages, but the website, eek, and with an online mp3 store with messages at over 2£'s a pop, I am just dying to see him with a free resource library. The truth of the matter is in this day and age, young people are NOT going to pay for messages in mp3 content anymore and older people really don't know how it works. Please make a resource library Mr. Pawson!

John Piper. I really can't even make this list without mentioning Piper's Desiring God website. It is the "I Ching" of resource websites (I'm sure using that comparison is going to get me on his bad list, but I couldn't say the "Bible" of resource websites either! Somebody find me a good metaphor..) His site is what all speakers should aspire to. He gives his books away as free PDF downloads, his sermon archive is neatly organized and easily accessible in video and audio. It really is beautiful. I really can't imagine anything much better. Yes I can, having ALL these speakers in Desiring God. That would be AWESOME, my dream. But they aren't all Calvinists. (Can I get an "Amen"?)

Mark Driscoll at Mars Hill Church in Seattle is like John Piper's trendy nephew. They have an amazing and free resource library, and a great iPhone App that really inspired us at IHOP-KC.

John Sheasby has really rocked my world. I want to tell everybody I know about his stuff - I've posted a few mp3's, but he's graciously provided a lot more for FREE download on his website. Like Neville, I've had to listen to some of John's messages 3 and 4 times in a row to really digest it. I think his website is doing a great job of combining physical teaching product in a store setting for the older generation, and free mp3 downloads for us youngins. I'd like to see him with a weekly Video Blog, kind of a "From Me to You" sort exhortation, what he's studying, what the Lord is saying thing.

Bill Johnson at Bethel Church in Redding, California is in regular rotation - I love the Sermon of the Week, and have been so encouraged time and time again. They also have a iBethelTV website that I've heard is cool, but they lost me with the login and subscription plan, but if you're an avid Bethelite, the subscription plan also gives a hefty discount on conference registration, which is nice.

This list is not meant to be comprehensive, or an advertisement, it's just the list of speakers I listen to the most. There is of course Mike Bickle who has an awesome resource website, and Rick Joyner and Morningstar Ministries that are doing lots of videos as well. I've listened to some awesome Ray Hughes messages from Morningstar. I also love Bobby Conner, whose website looks like its under construction to add more free downloads - Yeah! And there's my friend Shawn Bolz who has a nice podcast, but Shawn, if you're reading this, you need more mp3 downloads on your website

On the Podcast Trend In my "professional" opinion, the Podcast format of disseminating content must be supplemented by individual mp3 message downloads. If you subscribe to a podcast, you're inundated with media that you don't really know if you want to listen to. It's like trying to drink from a fire hose. If you can easily find and download the message you've heard about from a friend, there's a much better chance that message will be listened to with focus and absorbed.

Last but DEFINITELY not least, the mother load, SermonIndex.net with over 17,000 sermons from the greats like Ravenhill, Tozer, Corrie Ten Boom, Jackie Pullinger, Art Katz, and just about everyone else you could think of.

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts and hope that you are blessed with some new resources to grow in your walk with the Lord.

"Hold On" Released on iTunes

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 02:42:22 +0000

"Hold On" a compilation album inspired by the documentary Nefarious - exposing the sex trafficking industry was released on iTunes last week and I forgot to blog about it! My husband J.May is rapping on two songs, Hold On, the title track, and Nefarious, and it did really well on the charts - showing up on the Christian charts around #9! Check it out on iTunes here.

J.May's creative process is so different than mine. I usually sit down at the piano, start worshiping, and sing some spontaneous songs. Sometimes I remember some of them and sing them again, and it becomes a song. J.May on the other hand is more like a poet. We'll be working or shopping, and he'll get the strike of genius. He'll go outside the store, sit on a bench and pull out his phone, and start composing verses. That's what happened with the track Hold On, I remember when he wrote those lyrics outside of Target, or what have you, and now I'm pretty excited they're finally on an album.

Update: While considering where J.May actually was when he wrote these verses, we realized that the occasion I was thinking of was actually another song. This track was written on a balcony in Florida while we were on our honeymoon. I now remember him reading me the lines he'd written. (Apparently, I started crying - "It's so good, King of the Slums!" - yeah, that sounds like me)

My Personal Restoration

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 00:51:02 +0000

I went out to our backyard today with the puppies and took a look at our yard. If you've ever seen the movie, Secret Garden, then you can imagine what it looks like - it's the "before" shot. We moved into our house over 7 months ago - just days before our wedding (something I don't recommend to couples) and realized very soon that our house had been vacant for some time. Turns out, it was around 18 months.

The Friday we walked in, there was a green film of mold on almost everything, it was musty, dusty and humid. The outside wasn't much better. If you drive by, you can still see that our house has an animal print paint job, with patches here and there. Our acre yard was positively overgrown with all sorts of trees, bushes, weeds, ivy, and grape vines. There were frightening out-buildings, and penned enclosures on each side, and a few of the trees had died and looked like corpses standing in the yard. Our gutters leaked, flooding our basement with 7 inches of water in the first rainstorm.

We spent much of the summer trying to get this house in shape. Tearing down 6-foot fences, hauling out an old trailer, burning brush and a rotten wood pile, clearing out railroad ties along the fence (how Jason and our puppy discovered the yellow jackets). We scaled the roof, replaced appliances, and a toilet, removed layers of wallpaper, patched and painted walls, pulled up carpeting, and removed cupboards. We learned a little about plumbing and carpentry, stain removal and upholstery, painting and refinishing. About enough to get us in some serious trouble.

Some days our house looks pretty good, in a certain light, but sometimes the cleaning and renovation just makes a bigger mess for the time being (like what I've currently done to our hall bathroom).

But working on this, our very own house, has given me such a greater appreciation for the necessity of the progression of time to bring about change. It just doesn't happen overnight. I see it's application not just in our house and our yard, but in my life too. Sometimes I feel like my internal development and this house are running parallel.

Being married has brought about a whole slew of new "things" I have to deal with in my heart. Some good things, innumerable not-so-good. I knew that would be the case, but we were so stressed leading up to our wedding, it was easy to look to that date, May 1, as the day that would make everything in our lives finally land in perfect harmony. We didn't realize that it would be the day we had to really start working for it.

I so wanted to be the perfect wife, with the perfect heart responses at all times, proficient in cooking and cleaning, kind and compassionate, angelic really. I tell J, I had these expectations that we'd spend our evenings before a roaring fire playing chess, or reading aloud some classic literature and the Bible. That we'd get up early and watch the sun rise, have matching tool belts and twin drills to renovate our house together at every opportunity, work together to hone our cooking skills. We'd mature into these well-rounded people basically overnight. In our perfect house, where there lives a perfect couple, who are individually perfect people. Surprisingly, it hasn't happened quite like that.

I am pretty impatient. I've prayed that the Lord would help me be that Proverbs 31 woman that all of us are supposed to be on Day 1 of marriage. I wanted the Lord to look at my life, make a calculated inventory of my weaknesses, and in a clean sweep, make them all go away, so that I can live the rest of my years in a state of perfection, kind of like Enoch you know. Slight exaggeration, but you know what I mean.

It's hard for me to have grace for the process, whether it's for myself or for J.May, or for anyone else really. It's so much easier to be absolutely black and white, impatient and legalistic. But I'm realizing that, apart from a few miraculous and instantaneous moments of breakthrough, which are wonderful and I would like more of, most of the work of the Lord in our lives is a process. The problem comes not that He is unfaithful to continue the work of sanctification, but when we grow weary in well doing and in perseverance, and we slip back into our old patterns. We give up on the process because we're looking for some arrival point. But when the destination becomes the city whose Builder and Maker is God instead of an arbitrary point where our spiritual and emotional maturity reach a high point, that's when we can really relax and trust Him.

For me, the challenge is not simply to let the Lord love me, but to let Him take His time. To learn to be patient with myself at my own weaknesses while He goes room by room as a Master Craftsman restoring the brokenness. To not give up when He opens a closet and I see all the clutter inside, or works on the wall to discover 3 layers of ugly wallpaper. To trust Him when He has to take the axe to 37 trees in my garden that have become a nuisance. And when I look back over the last 7 months and look at the progress we've made in this house, (and also see the mess of our hall bathroom) I'm reminded that in time, I'll look back upon myself right now, and see all the glimmers of my own personal restoration.

Pausing my Primordial Holler

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 01:07:56 +0000

Don't get me wrong, I love America. Washington D.C. and all those founding fathers, colonial Williamsburg and History Channel specials. I love red, white and blue, the 4th of July, Jack Bauer, and all things patriotic. I even categorically dislike France to show my support. I love morality, decency, democracy, politics, and activism. I have a hankering for law and upholding the Constitution. I love the Declaration of Independence, and Lincoln's second inaugural address. Everyone in my family was in the military going back generations and in my upbringing, patriotism was a sub-point to godliness. Even writing this, I am reminded at how much I love this country. But.

Maybe that's always been the problem. There's just this lingering question in my mind, "Is this the way of Christ?"

I think there's something in the heart of man longing to be joined to an epic cause, a fight worth fighting, a transcendent belief. That desire to smear on some war paint and lift your sword in the air, holler a primordial holler, and fight for freedom. To hear the anthem swell, the slow-motion action sequence, the victory montage. Raaawwwwrr.

Something about all that is very satisfying, but not very Christ-like.

Sometimes when I read about the martyrs, I inadvertently begin to rewrite their story: "And suddenly, their chains burst from their wrists. Paul and Silas grabbed the battle axe hanging on the wall and moved with decisive agility toward the heathen guards. Swing, slop, chop, [cue epic music] FREEDOM!!" Oh wait, that didn't happen. I'm beginning to notice that what I esteem isn't what the Lord does, and I think this will affect more of my life than a possible career future at CTU.

I realize you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Well here enters this post.

Recently I was speaking with a pastor whose political views I would describe as “God and Country zealotry.” In the course of our conversation, which had taken its typical political turn, he said, “We must defend Freedom, Democracy and Capitalism in the name of Christ.”

That is quite a claim. But is it true? Must Rousseau freedom, Jeffersonian democracy and Laissez-faire capitalism be defended in the name of Christ? Let’s think about it for a moment.

Freedom. It’s the promise of every empire. It's what Rome and all the rest promise. And it's always what we go to war for. Freedom. Political Freedom. Economic Freedom. Individual Freedom. “The land of the free and the home of the brave.” The vocabulary of patriotic fervor. As if there were no Freedom until Jeffersonian democracy arrived on the scene. So what was Jesus talking about? Jesus and Paul seemed to have a thing or two to say about Liberty and Freedom, but they never breathed a word about political democracy or economic capitalism. Have we been seduced by the blandishments of empire? America may be a kinder, gentler Babylon, maybe the kindest, gentlest Babylon there's ever been (though native Americans and African slaves may beg to differ, not to mention the civilians of Hiroshima and Nagasaki). Be that as it may, America is still a Babylon. And as such it has nothing to do with the kingdom of Christ…other than to be a rival.

Democracy. I agree with Winston Churchill. "Democracy is the worst form of government, except for any other." Where I disagree with Churchill is his assumption that democracy is the way to bring goodness to the world. I disagree with Churchill because I am unwilling to kill on behalf of the state. And in the end democracy requires this. (In the end the beast is always red in tooth and claw.) I realize most post-Constantine Christians are willing to kill on behalf of the state—especially if they are citizens of a currently reigning or aspiring empire. But this has been one of our biggest problems. The early (pre-Constantine) Christians had a different view on the matter. It's interesting how gaga many Christians can be about the early church, but choke on the apostolic and patristic view of empire.

Capitalism. It works. It works because it takes into account the primary motivation of fallen humans: pride and greed. Marx mistakenly thought people would willingly serve the state. They will not. They'll serve themselves and their families. What was missing from Marx's equation was love. And absent the motive of altruistic love Marxism becomes the cruelest form of totalitarianism. And the missing element in the Marxist equation—self-sacrificing love—comes only from the Holy Spirit. Capitalism works because it taps the energy of fallen man and is preferable because it better diffuses power—and power among fallen man is always best diffused. But capitalism is not the kingdom of Jesus. Jesus did not teach socialist economics or capitalistic economics. Jesus taught love economics. But he made no (zero!) effort to enforce his love economics on the wider culture (Jewish or Roman). And Jesus certainly did not endorse the implementation and protection of political or economic systems through force (i.e. violence). Jesus was content to form an alternative society of those who professed faithful allegiance to the Son of Man. These would become the true sons and daughters of the kingdom of heaven. The grand paradox is that Jesus won his kingdom by submitting to a state sponsored execution; by laying down his life and trusting God to raise him from the dead.

It should be noted that the crucifixion of Jesus Christ is the final damning indictment upon the ethics of empire. Rome claimed to stand for freedom, peace and justice—but in the name of their empire they murdered the Son of God. The religious leaders of Jerusalem were co-conspirators in the imperial crime of deicide because they too were “practical men” who had pledged their allegiance to the empire. Witness their allegiance: “We have no king but Caesar.” In that moment they completely betrayed their WWMD? wristbands (What Would Moses Do?).

Allegiance to empire is the result of the idolatrous worship of pragmatism. “This is just the way the real world works.” But I reject the “real world” and its bloody pragmatism. I know my position is radical. So be it. I believe it to be radically Christian. Dangerously radical. Why, it could get a man crucified. Or if he happens to be a citizen of the empire, perhaps just mercifully beheaded. We must realize that the Roman Empire didn't kill Christians for religious reasons. Rome couldn't care less about personal religious preference. The Roman world had plenty of religious liberty. (It was during medieval Christendom that religious liberty was lost.) The apostles and early Christian martyrs were executed, not for religious reasons, but for political reasons. For confessing that Christ was emperor and not Caesar. For preaching the gospel of the Pax Cristus instead of the Pax Romana. Will we dare to preach the gospel of the Pax Cristus instead of the Pax Americana?

I've got nothing against America. It's a fine empire. I'm a citizen and a beneficiary of its prosperity. And I certainly have enough patriotism to cheer for America in the Olympics. But America is not the agency through which the liberating gospel of Jesus Christ is brought to the nations. The liberation of the nations through the proclamation of the gospel is the mission of the church! God didn't "raise up America." Every empire engages in that kind of propaganda. God raised Christ from the dead and poured out the Holy Spirit upon body of Christ—the church. Nationality doesn’t mean a thing. God’s nationalistic agenda ended with Christ. Now his agenda is advanced through the global church. National identity is utterly insignificant. Oh, I understand that to the nations of the world it's everything. Indeed, they'll kill for it—go “shock and awe” on their enemies with their hand on their heart pledging allegiance. But that's just it, they're the nations of the world and not yet disciples of Jesus Christ.

Jesus didn’t “shock and awe” his enemies. He forgave them and allowed himself to be crucified (when he could have summoned an army of angels). Why? You can't win a war that way! You've got to kill the enemy s.o.b. (to paraphrase General Patton). But as Christians we believe that Jesus did win a war that way. We believe he won the whole world that way. We do believe that, don't we? We do believe that Jesus won, don't we? We do believe that Jesus is Lord, don’t we? We do believe that Jesus currently reigns as King of Kings, Lord of Lords, President of Presidents, Prime Minister of Prime Ministers, don't we?

And since (if) we believe that Jesus is Lord, we're not all that concerned about what Caesar does or what empire claims to rule the world these days. They’re all impostors.

Jesus is Lord.

It's a political statement.

I'm a radical. Or at least I’m trying to be. A dangerous, kingdom of God radical. The empire should be wary of me and my kind. Sure, we are productive, law abiding citizens—harmless as doves. But our ideas are subversive. They are the seeds of the kingdom that grows by night. Our ideas about Jesus and his alternative way are the leaven in the imperial dough. They are the radical Jesus ideas that subvert the false pretense of empire. Caesar doesn't save, Christ does. Caesar isn't Lord, Christ is. The empire doesn't bring peace, justice and freedom, the kingdom of our Lord does.

I am a radical.

I will not adapt the radical kingdom gospel of Jesus Christ to the self-serving values of the empire and conspire to turn Christianity into a civic religion of the state. That's the whore riding the back of the beast. Which has been ever popular these past seventeen centuries.

I am a radical.

Out of wisdom and a desire to be effective (and perhaps from a sense of self-preservation) I tell it slant. Like Jesus did. Parable, allegory, allusion and story work better than in your face prose (as I am recklessly doing here). I tell it slant, but I tell it. I tell it because of what I have seen. The empires of this world are beastly. All of them. Egypt, Babylon, Persia, Greece, Rome, France, Germany, Britain, Russia—America too. But the Lamb has conquered. Worthy is the Lamb.

I am a radical.

I'm not taking the easy road and I'm not playing it safe. My conservative friends think I'm liberal. My liberal friends think I'm conservative. I am neither. I'm totally off the charts. I've opted out of the illusion that politics of either stripe even has the possibility of being faithful to Christ.

This is my confession. It comes from what I have seen. The empires of this world are beasts, but the Lamb—the little lamb as if slain—has conquered. It’s the absurd comedy of God. It’s our gospel. It’s the hope of the world. You can see it too, if you want to. But you have to really want to see. Because it will cost you.

Vicit agnus noster, eum sequamur.

Our Lamb has conquered, let us follow him.

Confession of a Radical by Brian Zahnd

Post Script

As I went to bed after posting this, I felt like I really needed to add that, like lots and lots of things, I don't agree with everything that Brian said, but I did find his post to be a good challenge to me. I'll elaborate on some of those things here:

Firstly, I think God likes nations. I went to bed thinking and praying about one question, "Lord, what do you think about our nation? Do you want it to exist? Did you have a national plan for America? Do you still?"

Doing a little Biblical study, throughout the Old Testament, the Lord uses specific nations. Unfortunately, it's usually to discipline Israel, but there are a multitude of Scriptures referencing nations in the Millennial Kingdom, (I could go more in depth here, but you can look up Jesus' involvement of nations like Egypt at His return in Isaiah on your own) so clearly Jesus doesn't just make nations go "poof" away. And before He comes, I still believe every nation, not just ours, has the invitation to come into agreement with the plan of God, to nationally agree with God's heart, and to bless Israel.

I believe that prayer and intercession on behalf of our country is right and true. When I read Daniel and think about principalities of nations, Greece and Persia, I wonder if there's a principality of America. I think to myself, "If there's a battle between an archangel and a principality over my nation, I want my prayers involved and making a difference."

One could potentially walk away from a post like this with a very negative slant on America and hopeless attitude - that is definitely NOT the reason I'm challenged by it. We are mandated as believers to pray for those in authority over us. If we are so called by the Lord, we are to be actively involved in our government and politics. We have quite a Biblical legacy in Daniel, Esther, Joseph, Zachariah and many others in the Bible in following the leading of the Lord even when it involved "affiliation" so to speak with a corrupt government. And as a gentle reminder, I'm sure Daniel's position was a LOT WORSE than say, being a senator in America? But Daniel's priority was to follow the leading of the Lord and to be faithful to Him in the midst of a corrupt environment, not to become so black and white that He was incapable of being obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

What I'm rethinking in my heart isn't some regurgitation of "Myth of a Christian Nation," it's the desire that in ALL things, Christ would have the preeminence. Before patriotic loyalties, before self-importance whether individual or national, that JESUS would have the first place, that I am CHIEFLY a citizen of His kingdom that is eternal, and an American second. I just need to get my priorities straight, to set my affections on things above, and not have them all bound up in these earthly things.

As with all my posts, it's just food for thought and meditation, not something definitive, concrete and immovable. I appreciate your patience, consideration, and disagreement. It's provoking.

Blessings,

Engagement, Marriage, Recording

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 03:52:34 +0000

Quick update on the cd, Isaac Meyer just finished recording on a couple tracks - if you haven't heard his new instrumental album called "Acoustic Rhythms" - it's available now on iTunes, and it's great!! Check it out. I'm really grateful that he's lending his anointed strummings to my project.

Wedding plans are coming along, for those who have asked, Jason and I are getting married May 1 in Kansas City, we're registered at J.C Penney's, Target and Pottery Barn, we're cruising in the Caribbean for our honeymoon, and miracle of miracles, we're closing on our new home next week. The Lord has done so many awesome things, and we're 30-some-odd days out, and I know He's got more in store. I might throw everybody off and holler a "More Lord!" I am a little behind on some things (invitations, ahem!) but other things seem to be ironing out just fine.

The Lord is good, and we covet your prayers with the myriads of details, influx of out-of-town guests, and the flurry of activities. In the midst of all the hustle and bustle, we're reminded a lot about the Lord. I find myself saying, "Earlier, I thought of...and it reminds me of the Lord and how He does this and that..." quite often. It's so wonderful how love and relationship initiated in His heart, He loves relationships and He does so much in us through the natural ones. It can be hard and scary to have to share so much, and divulge ones' heart, and trust and be open, ah but there's life, and joy and healing and cleanness. I can only think of a Sara Groves song at this moment. It's as if she preemptively steals my contemplations for her lyrics: "It's a sweet sweet thing, standing here with you and nothing to hide. Light shining down to our very insides. Loving each other, knowing each other, helping each other come clean." Oh Sara.

J.May tends to be a pretty private guy, but I've been encouraging him to share more of his heart online (you can see a little bit at his website: http://www.jmaymusic.com/ and suspiciously, we have the same webmaster) and I hope he'll make a guest appearance or two on my blog. He is, if you didn't notice, also on my recommended Albums to the right there, and if you haven't check out his album Conflict on iTunes, DO IT!!!!

More soon, thanks to all of you who have prayed, emailed, paypaled @twittered, and facebooked all sorts of encouragement. I appreciate it!

Blessings,

Joanna

More than More Lord

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 05:43:02 +0000

I was in a meeting the other day where there was altar ministry that sounded like "More Lord!!!! We aren't satisfied, we must have more!!!" It was tenacious, it was persistent, and almost militant, and I was just irritated. I wish I could tell you that I have a clear, audible word-of-the-Lord about the situation, but I don't. I do have some impressions, thoughts and questions that weigh heavy on my heart and I've got to share them.

The Lord said that He has given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) that's past tense, that we have every spiritual blessings in Christ (Ephesians 1:3) and that He will supply all our future needs according to His glory (Philippians 4:19). He also said that we are seated with Him in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6) and are complete in Him. (Colossians 2:10).

Jesus said that if anyone asks, they will receive (Matthew 7:7). That if anyone is thirsty, ask for a drink and He will give living waters (John 7:37-39, Revelation 22:17) and that if anyone wants to come, you must believe that He really will open up His heart. (Hebrews 11:6)

Then why do we pray and minister corporately like we do? I feel like the church at large is still talking to the Lord like He's angry and withholding, that you have to arm-wrestle Him just to get a morsel. Many prayer meetings feel like we're trying to grab God and shake "it" out of Him - whatever "it" is that we're praying for.

Many people at this point would refer to the parable of the "persistent widow" in Luke 18 to contextualize this type of "We-aren't-Satisfied" prayer, but I have mixed feelings about that one too. I am convinced that the parable of the persistent widow is a contrast, not a comparison. Jesus was not comparing the Father to that unjust judge. He is not suggesting that the way that widow approached the judge is an example for the way we should approach the Father. It is not a new prayer strategy or intercession model. He's saying, "HOW DIFFERENT is our Father! Will He not bring about justice for His chosen ones?! We get to relate to Him so differently!"

Besides, the context of this parable is the question: “When will the Kingdom come?” We have one very safe prayer: Come Lord Jesus. We can pray that prayer unceasingly with boldness and confidence knowing that we are in perfect agreement with His heart when we say "Come." In this confidence and love, we can be persistent without being insolent. So why do we keep coming to God like He's the unjust judge we have to pester?

When it comes to revival prayer, for praying for the release of the manifestations of the Lord's heart in signs, wonders, healing, deliverance, outpouring of presence, love and power, it's not usually the Lord that's getting in the way, it's us. WE are the ones in the way. We could all do with a little less "send more Lord" and a little more "I receive what you've provided."

So many times I feel like we blame shift responsibility to the Lord when it's really our responsibility. We act like if He doesn't want to come, then we're not getting anything and it's all His fault. We then are "barren" because God isn't doing something, not because we are in compromise or simply not receiving or spending time with Him. It's so much easier when it's all wonderfully Calvinistically His fault.

From what I've noticed throughout history, the prayer of the revivalists isn't just asking God for more externally, no, they are asking God for help to receive internally. This is best summarized in the prayer of Evan Roberts, the Welsh revivalist, “Oh, Lord, bend us!”

We see this in the New Testament all the time. Paul didn't exhort the church of Ephesus by crying out to God for a change in the atmosphere, he spoke to the Ephesians calling them into the knowledge of Jesus. Let me illustrate with a parody of sorts, imagine if Ephesians 1 started with

"Oh God, the church in Ephesus needs more! They are not satisfied, they must have more! Now God, don't withhold yourself! Rend the heavens God, rend them over Ephesus right now God. Do what only you can do."

How weird would that have been.

Now I feel like I need to put a little disclaimer in here: I don't think that type of prayer is necessarily bad when it's in the right context, for example if you are having a time of intercession over a region. In that situation, you are agreeing with the heart of Jesus, or other believers for a spiritual shift in heavenly realms of authority, like the displacing of the Prince of Persia in the book of Daniel (Daniel 10:13-23) - but that is not the Pauline example of ministry to believers.

What Paul did in Ephesians 1, and all of his letters of exhortation to churches, and a great example of how to minister to believers even today, is to speak the truth of God to their spirits calling them into the recognition of the finished work of the cross, a full reliance on the blood of Jesus, inviting them to the place of receiving, the casting down lies and misconceptions about God, and coming into specific agreement with the plans and purposes of God.

A breakdown of Ephesians 1

1. Jesus Christ has blessed us with every spiritual blessing.
2. You are chosen by Him.
3. Because of Him, you are holy and blameless in his sight.
4. It is His pleasure and will that you walk in sonship.
5. In Him you have redemption, forgiveness, and inclusion into the mystery of God.
6. Did I say you were chosen?
7. You have been sealed by the Holy Spirit
8. You will know his hope, riches, glory and power.

I would LOVE to see more ministry-to-believers time at the altars looking more like that and less like "AHHH, we don't have enough!" I'd love to hear your thoughts too.

Blessings,

In the Studio Recording!

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 04:53:19 +0000

Things have been very busy lately, and although I don't have time to go into every detail, I wanted to share some broad strokes and ask for your prayers.

1. I'm in the studio recording a cd! The Lord brought an amazing couple, David and Joy to help fund my first recording project, something that I couldn't have managed to do without help, and I'm in the recording! I'm working with an amazing guy, Luke Hendrickson (check out his instrumental album!). The vision for this project is for a long-play devotional worship album that someone can just put on during their devotional time and "soak" to. I want people to just be able to lay on the floor for an hour and encounter the presence of the Lord during this CD. It is going to feature some spontaneous portions, prophetic songs, instrumental selah's and a couple songs I've written over the course of 7 years at the International House of Prayer.

Already, there have been some amazing musical contributors, like Luke Hendrickson and Isaac Meyer, who just came out with his own instrumental soaking album that is amazing!

I would greatly appreciate your prayers during this time, that the presence of the Lord would truly rest on this project that more people may encounter Him in His glory. That's all I want with this.

2. I'm engaged!! More on this soon, but see that guy J.May in the right hand sidebar? Well we are going to be married this summer! Needless to say, there's a whole lot more to come on this particular topic.

3. I just started working in the IHOP-KC media department working with online video and audio for www.ihop.org (and affiliated ministries). I am super excited to help people find videos, listen or watch the prayer room stream, and develop new and improved video players, search tools, and so much more. I've got some really exciting projects and features in mind coming soon, but again prayer for grace and any video/audio/webstream suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Altar Ministry Survival Kit

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:11:37 +0000

With the Onething Young Adult conference coming up quickly, and the continuation of the IHOPU Student Awakening, I'm looking forward to seeing 20,000 young adults get touched by the Holy Spirit December 28-31. I'm also thinking about how much altar ministry there will be during the conference, and continuing throughout the awakening season at IHOP-KC.

In light of this, I've assembled an "Altar Ministry Survival Kit" and thought I'd share it with you. Things to bring if you're apart of the altar team:

1. Mints or Gum If you're going to be praying or prophesying over people and hollering over some loud music, get a breath-freshening item.

2. Earplugs The volume level of subwoofers in an altar area can be deafening, literally, when endured for hours on end.

3. Water Don't get drained! Stay hydrated.

4. Cliff Bars A couple hours of altar ministry can be very exhausting for your body, and downtown you may not find the healthiest options for food for lunch and dinner, so it would be wise to bring some healthy munchy protein options like cliff bars or mixed nuts to snack on.

5. Kleenex to Go Keep a stash of kleenex with you at all times! I know for me, there's nothing worse than having a deep encounter with the Lord, but being distracted because I know there's snot dripping off my chin. You could rely on provided kleenex, but you may want to bring some yourself just in case you don't want to leave to person you're praying for to track down that box.

6. Individually packaged wet wipes Sometimes kleenex just isn't enough. If you've ever seen somebody go through a major prayer time with the Lord, whether deliverance or a deep touch from the Father, things can get a little messy. Individually packaged wet wipes can be a God-send to stem the tide of make-up, running mascara, or snot-on-face.

7. Hand-Sanitizer There are lots of germs out there, and you don't want to spread them around while laying hands on people.

8. Pen and Paper Many times as I'm praying for someone, I will get a prophetic word for them, but they may be in the middle of going through a lot. It can be really helpful to write down the word and give it to them to read and process a little later.

Worship to get Rocked By

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:10:58 +0000

With the awakening that's going on at IHOPU, I'm having a personal renewal in my private worship times. I notice there are some songs that just carry that atmosphere of heaven breakthrough, and I've decided to start sharing my soaking mix.

This song is from a live worship recording called "The Gift" with Kevin Prosch and Heidi Baker

Practicals on Living in an Outpouring

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:15:53 +0000

Ways to keep your mind, will and emotions healthy to receive all that the Lord is doing during seasons of refreshing

The Lord is doing incredible things in Kansas City right now through the outpouring of His Holy Spirit. I was inspired to write, not about what the Lord is doing for those who aren't here, (check out www.ihop.org/watch if you haven't heard about it) but about what to do for those of use who are here in the thick of it, or for others who find themselves in an outpouring of the Holy Spirit.

When I think about previous outpourings, renewals or awakenings, I think of Toronto, Brownsville and Lakeland. When I think about what I would term "revival culture" or people who have cultivated a lifestyle of encounter with the manifest presence of God, I think of Bethel with Bill Johnson. From these, there are practical dynamics and lessons learned. We should desire to receive the council of those who have gone before us. From what I've gathered, they have rather profound insights. In all honesty, none of the following thoughts originated with me, they came from asking questions and receiving some advice, reproof and exhortation regarding the way I was living and ways to create a "revival culture" in my own life.

The premise is "When in a Move of the Holy Spirit" - and this is particularly focused towards people who are involved in altar ministry, administration, deliverance, platform ministry, ushering, singing, worship leading, etc. etc.

1. Eat Food If you have an ambitious fasting regimen, transition to something like a Daniel fast, no caffeine, or fast only one day a week.

I was in an internship a few years ago and we talked to Bob Jones about fasting, and He said "When the Bridegroom is with you (referring also to an unusual season of visitation) you don't fast, but when He's not there, then you fast."

2. Stay Hydrated Drink lots of water. You will get dehydrated really really fast, and then you will wake up with swollen gunky eyes, chapped lips, raw face, and you will feel worn down in your body and be more susceptible to colds or the flu.

3. Try some cranberry juice I know this sounds strange, but a few years ago, I was leading worship at prophetic classes with Shawn Bolz and Paul Keith Davis. Every night after worship, my lower back would BURN in pain and I could hardly even get to my seat. Finally, Paul Keith pulled me aside and shared with me that how Bob Jones' always drinks cranberry juice. Bob had said that when you were ministering in a flow of the anointing, that you needed to take good care of your kidneys, which he called the Biblical "reins." He said that's where the anointing flows from. Now I didn't ask a lot of questions or try to figure out the who's, what's, and why's of all that, I just started drinking cranberry juice and more water and I noticed that the pain was GONE.

For inquiring minds, here are more Scriptural references for Bob's perspective on kidneys and "reins."

Reins: the kidneys, the supposed seat of the desires and affections; used metaphorically for "heart." The "reins" and the "heart" are often mentioned together, as denoting the whole moral constitution of man (Ps. 7:9; 16:7; 26:2; 139:13; Jer. 17:10, etc.)

Paul Keith also suggested finding a friend or leader that you trust to pray for you, or if you can't find somebody, putting your own hands on your lower back and asking the Holy Spirit to fill you up, refresh and sustain you if you're feeling that type of pain during or after ministry.

A Note on Intercessors If someone is engaged in a dynamic ministry where the Lord is really resting on them - whether its a minister, worship leader, prophetic singer, or someone with an unusual anointing during altar ministry, (in our case people like Wes Hall, Allen Hood, Laura Hackett, Shelley Hundley, Ed Boasso, Graeme Walsh, Steven Beauchamp, and so many others) they may need some "back up" or prayer that the Lord would continue to flow through them, cover them from attack and fill them up. This is why many times in different churches and conferences (Bethel, conferences with Shawn Bolz or Paul Keith, and many more) you will see someone standing behind the singers on the platform - a platform intercessor - or someone following behind a minister during altar ministry.

A word of caution: Don't start praying for someone you don't have relationship with at close proximity without their permission. What I do during the IHOPU awakenings is to pray for Wes and Allen from wherever I'm at: "Lord bless Wes and Allen right now. Holy Spirit, cover them, sustain them, fill them up. Release your ministering angels to them even now God, strengthen their bodies, renew their spirit man.." Speaking from my experience as a worship leader, it is more unsettling to have a stranger pop up behind you and start praying (you hope).

4. Eat healthy. I've experienced this scenario firsthand: It's 1:30 am and you've been in the meeting for 8 hours. You're starving, and nobody wants to go home and cook at 1:30, and nothing else is open! So you go to Buffalo Wild Wings for the 10th day in a row.

I also observed junk food eating behind the scenes at a more recent outpouring and thought to myself, "You guys have been eating that? No wonder you feel bad! It's not warfare, it's your diet." 65 days in a row of junk food will make you feel terrible. The Holy Spirit is not going to transform that deep fried, sugar covered, bacon marinated junk into fruits and vegetable in your stomach. You need to make healthy choices that will help sustain your "weak frame."

Now like I said, I understand (I've been to BWW twice already as have an entire worship team) that no one wants to cook at 1:30 am. But you need to become deliberate about eating healthy! Some friends of mine have a plan: we're getting 10 or so people together into a little cooking co-op where a couple of us will leave the service around 11:30 to go prepare some food, and the other 8 can come after the service and we'll all eat together. We rotate houses, and cooking responsibilities and pitch in some funds. You can get some of your friends together and do something like that and you'll save lots of money, feel better because you'll be eating better, and you'll have great redemptive fellowship in the afterglow of the Holy Spirit.

You also might want to get some cliff bars to keep with you - 8 hours of ministry is a long time.

5. Get Plenty of Rest This isn't a time to push your body to the point of exhaustion. You may find yourself needing a lot more sleep than you did before, that's normal and okay.

6. Eliminate the Unnecessary. Stay faithful with what the Lord has really called you to: Mike used the example of continuing to feed the homeless, but if you're doing lots of unnecessary "stuff" consider downsizing. Suspend your end-times Bible study for a season, cancel meetings, and simplify your life so that you can fully receive all that the Lord has for you during this season. When you look back on this time years down the road, you're not going to regret being as involved as you can, but you may regret not being more involved.

7. Keep your Devotional Time Maybe before this, you've been able to have devotional time in the prayer room, but with all that's going on in there now you may to need to carve out quiet time ALONE with Jesus. There, He's going to speak, minister, fill you up, and sustain you. Don't think that because you're spending 8 hours praying for people at an outpouring service that you can suspend your personal devotional time. The Lord will meet you in such sweetness during these private times - He will meet you with that same manifest presence that is there during the altar ministry for impartation to others if you take the time.

Another note: During the meetings or prayer room ministry time, remember that you can switch back and forth from praying and releasing to personal receiving. Your "ministry mode" doesn't have to last the entire time, you can have sweet personal encounter, and transition right into praying for others.

8. Keep Taking Your Day Off Nightly meetings will ebb and flow, and some nights will be "better" or "stonger" than others. That's just how it works. Don't feel like if you take a night off that God is not going to meet you anymore. There is NO condemnation for resting your body or spending time with you family. Even in the midst of the most dramatic healings, miracles, salvations and power demonstrations that we look forward to in the capital letters REVIVAL, you're still going to need a Sabbath and some time off with your family.

Some people throw themselves so into a renewal that their family suffers. You don't want your wife or children to acquire offense towards the Lord because you're not stewarding your relationships.

9. Realize that You are going to be Sensitive Things that didn't bother you before may grieve your spirit now. It's good to keep that in mind that in your conversations and activities before you ask those "Why do I feel this way" questions. Keep in mind that you may feel the presence of the Lord or manifest when you're out to eat and get prophetic words for the barista at Starbucks, or you may be grieved at a film you used to enjoy. Be extra vigilant about what you allow to enter your "gates" (eyes, ears, etc) because it will strike your heart in a heightened way.

10. Backlash is Real Francis Frangipane's "New Levels, New Devils" is real: If you're experiencing breakthrough, freedom, joy and increased manifest presence, the enemy doesn't like that. You will need to stand your ground in agreement with the Lord over hopelessness, depression, shame, condemnation, disqualification and other lying "fiery darts" the enemy may deploy in an attempt to take you out. Stand Firm, declare agreement with the Lord OUT LOUD and use the Scripture.

11. Remember The First and Second Commandment If this awakening continues and grows here in Kansas City, there may be quite a lot of people who come for a touch from the Lord. After a while, His sweet presence can become viewed as a commodity that is passed around: "Blam Blam Shaba Blam...Get 'Em, Blam."

We can become sidetracked by the unique sensation of His manifest presence, and overwhelmed by the numbers of people. We will need to continually remember that we are called to love the Lord our God, not just His tingles but His Person, and to love our neighbor. Not neighbors as if they are a mass group of people, but neighbor singular, dealing with each one as an individual as we're praying at the altar, prophesying, singing, or even just running into them in the bathroom.

12. Make Lists of Stuff you Really Need to Do I'm noticing this for myself: I am preoccupied with Jesus. That is an AMAZING thing. After years of being preoccupied with me, this is way better! Some unexpected side-effects are that I'm forgetting to do some stuff I need to do, like trash day, grocery shopping, and going to the bank. Errands that previously were just a natural part of your life may completely slip your mind because you're thinking about JESUS, which is AWESOME, but you do still need to pay your gas bill. I've started making a sticky notes I take everywhere with me:

1. Eat
2. Walk and Feed Dog
3. Talk to Parents
4. Pay Utilities
5. Trash Day is Wednesday
Sounds a little silly, but it may be necessary for you like it is for me.

Love to hear your comments

A Little Fun-Raising

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:33:54 +0000

I'm make this short and quick, and not too sappy. Sadly, my old school Powerbook G4 from a few years ago is seeing the end of its days, and seriously cutting into my ability to do cool updates to my site, and work on exciting up-and-coming projects bringing more free music and materials to the interwebs. Looking at buying a new mac is exciting, and expensive with a $1700 price tag (updated ONLY $1500 woohoo), but at this point its pretty necessary. If you've enjoyed some free downloads, encouraging blogs, are really excited about upcoming recording projects (oops, beans spilled) or web sites I may be working on, or you just like me and want to bless me, I would appreciate any contributions to make the purchase of a new "baby" possible. You can get me via paypal, or holler on the contact page if you fancy sending a check, and if you can't give anything - no pressure. I'm just glad you're here.

Blessings
Joanna

Memories from a 17-Year-Old Wanna-Be Mystic

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:38:12 +0000

The International House of Prayer in Kansas City is about to celebrate its ten year anniversary of 24/7 worship, and that's got me all nostalgic. I was in high school when the prayer room opened, and I was really bummed I had to keep going to school every day instead of joining staff. Every Friday night, my mom and I would make the 40 mile drive to Grandview just in time for Monty Poe's set, followed by Carol Hall. We came to every "Bridegroom Watch" and conference. I remember being at the Enjoying God worship conference in 1999 and hearing Julie Meyer singing and leading worship. It was at one of those conferences in the late 90's that I heard JoAnn McFatter prophetically singing, and I told my mom that's what I was supposed to do. She told me to consider being a lawyer.

When I finally graduated high school, I gave up scholarships to do an internship in 2002 with IHOP. I remember our first day; we were required to be in the prayer room for 12 hours and honestly when it was over, I didn't want to leave. My dream was to spend my life worshiping Jesus and crying my eyes out at His feet. I spent long hours pouring over John of the Cross' poems, and writing in my journal, praying and gazing on Jesus and waiting on Him, studying the Song of Solomon and being astonished as He unfolded mysteries about His heart and His affections. It was wonderful. Lots of people now talk about how it didn't smell good in the prayer room, or it had bad carpet, but I never noticed that. I just remember being with Jesus.

I ache, and strive and pray to be in that sweet place again. Where disappointment and frustration, and years of waiting and organization and structure and discipline and tarrying and dryness and disillusionment fade away, and I can find myself content to be in the place of simply loving Him. Not proving my leadership abilities, or being responsible with something, or building a Christian resume, just loving Him again unreservedly and unashamedly.

Through the years - I stretched and I grew, and I tried and I failed, and I waited and I served, and I compromised, and I strove for approval, then I ran from commitment, and I followed the Lord and I learned the hard way, and now what?

I know that prayer room is gone. I know that I can never again be that 17-year old girl with such simplicity and naivety. No matter how many time I sit reading...

Like a stag in the forest you charged me and fled

You vanished, I followed lamenting my loss

...it will never be the same. No matter how many times I sing the same choruses, it is a futile attempt to return to an earlier version of myself. I can't unlearn and undo what 7 years has done.

I can only press on.

I know that things are changing for me. I feel it and know it. The Lord has been working in my heart with a determination that although I will never again be a 17-year-old Mary of Bethany, I can love Him extravagantly at 24, and I can love Him with all of me. I trust and hope that He has a purpose in my creativity and curiosity, that my insatiable apetite for mysteries and study has not thwarted the cry of my heart for presence and abiding. That with every unique and creative and eccentric part of my being, I can love Him. Oh this is getting exciting again.

How can I love you extravagantly today Lord?

What Do You Feel About Me?

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Tue, 19 May 2009 03:23:10 +0000

I'm sitting at the kitchen table after a long day. Austin, my 4 month-old puppy has brought out of his basket almost every toy he has. He's currently running around making quite a racket with his empty 2-liter bottle. Background music is the prayer room, but not-so-live: I'm recording some parts of my devo from Saturday and marveling at the provision of the Lord. Saturday, I played a two-hour solo devo at the prayer room at IHOP. At the time, I was so moved in my heart watching other people being ministered to, knowing that this was just for them. "Oh those people crying! So great."

...One day later, I felt SO discouraged. You know that all-around discouraged day where you're target practice for the accuser, but you don't recognize it as accusation? Those days where you wonder if you've missed your destiny in the Lord, and now you're stuck with "less than" for the rest of your life? Where you feel kinda sapped of the passion you feel like you once had for the Lord, and wonder if you're wandering around in circles? I'm sure I don't need to describe the voice of the accuser, but it sounds like "not good enough, too weak, a failure, no future, missed it, disqualified, etc etc." Add in some self-pity and you've partnered to get yourself in a real pickle. Where that's where I was; pickling.

I have noticed, and I must remember this for the future, that in times like this it's usually hard for me to hear the Lord. But it's not because I'm disqualified from hearing His voice, but because I'm too preoccupied, condemned, self-centered, or discouraged to actually take time and listen. Well the Lord was gracious, and spoke rather loudly. Remember that set on Saturday? You thought it was for all those other people, but it's for you today. I knew that you would need encouragement. Why don't you go back and listen to it, and know that it's my heart for you.

My sheep will hear my voice.
You will know me.

Be of good cheer, my eyes are on you.
Be of good cheer, my heart is for you.

I've seen your weakness and I know your pain
I've seen your journey, every step of the way

Just know that I am with you
You I will not forsake

You make me glad, right where you're at
I'm rejoicing over you.

When all you can see if your weakness
When all you can feel if your pain
When all you know is your struggles
but you say yes to me anyway,
You make me glad.

He is simply so gracious to meet us where we are, and let us know that we don't have to stay there. He will open to us a door of hope in the wilderness. The whole secret of David, his Isaiah 22:22 key was an unwavering confidence in God's heart for him. Despite seasons of victory and failure, David knew that who He was before the Lord was not contingent upon those circumstances. He saw through the veil to a day when we would be hidden in Christ.

Wherever you're at right now, I encourage you to set aside some quite time to be with the Lord and ask Him "What do you feel about me? Talk to me about Your future for my life. Open up my eyes, show me a way out of the wilderness. Where are my doors of hope Lord?" If it helps, download this 30-minute portion of my set and let the Lord encourage you today.

Attached audio files:

Joanna Reyburn - What Do You Feel About Me?

Showing Mercy

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 04:57:29 +0000

The Catalyst

I've been working in non-profit organizations, churches and ministries for about 7 years now and recently, I have been SOOOO frustrated. It's been hard! People get bogged down with politics, lots of 'em have these emotional problems that interfere with their productivity, there seems to be a general absence of "getting things done" and "get up and go" and a little "up and at 'em" - and that drives me up the wall, and we're talking the "Wow, I think I need inner healing" wall.

Choosing Mercy

In light of the "loosing my marbles" feeling in my heart and life, I've been pressing in with my private at-home devotional time asking the Lord to do something. I've been soaking to Laura Woodley (Osman)'s cd's Home and In Love. You may have heard Laura on Tehilah Toronto's cd, Born of the Spirit. If you don't have her cd's, I recommend that you get them. She is my favorite soaking/devotional worship leader, and her albums are long-play The cd's are a little hard to find and I couldn't locate any mp3 downloads online, but it's worth buying the physical cd. You can listen to some of her songs on their Myspace.

I've been listening to a song on her In Love cd called Mercy on repeat. It's like Jesus therapy.

"Standing on the other side of forgiveness. You are different now, I can see it. Standing on the other side of all my angry walls, I don't judge you at all. I've been forgiven of more than I could ever be angry for, instead of judgment, I choose mercy."

I was also listening to a Bill Johnson message from Bethel weekend services podcast on Sunday, and he said (I'll probably butcher this quote) something like "The Lord has mercy and shows favor to groups with poor organization and structure because He cares about the people involved." He was also talking about how at the end of the day, we don't stand before the Lord with an org chart, but with the lives of people.

At those words, my conviction meter started rising. For quite some time, the perspective of my heart has been: "Now I could really make something of this if we had a better infrastructure and less silly people..." It's so easy to allow our motivations to gradually drift towards charts and graphs, schedules and meetings, lists, productivity and deliverables. And we keep telling ourselves that we're doing all this for Jesus.

I know I needed that reality check. I don't want to entertain the delusion that I'm neglecting my relationships for Jesus, that I'm snapping at people at work for Jesus, that I'm running over people, but it's okay because it's for Jesus...It's not for Jesus, and He doesn't like it. Jesus is not in the business of manipulating people (from my favorite Neville Johnson sermon, Understanding Grace) Just thinking on that one gets me. He's not into coercing them, or wringing them dry of their gifts, talents and abilities. Sacrificing for organized church isn't the Gospel of the Kingdom, loving people is.

In that earlier-mentioned message, Bill goes on to talk about showing grace. He says, "I'd rather show grace to someone, and find out later I've been tricked and they weren't as repentant as I thought, then to NOT show grace and stand before the Lord for my judgments."

Luke 11:46 Jesus replied, "And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them.

My Birthday Puppy

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 21:47:05 +0000

I got a Puppy for my 24th Birthday

Now I realize that I have been a little silent on my blog, and I wanted to explain myself. Meet Austin, my 10-week old birthday puppy. If you don't have a dog, or don't care too much, just scan the pics. Otherwise enjoy my rather detailed dog-servations.

For me, getting a puppy is no small thing. I've never raised a puppy. I grew up in a home with dogs, but none of them were solely my responsibility. While living on my own, I did care for an adult Malamute/Husky Saber before he died, but never a puppy. I had to come to terms with some pretty sobering facts: I will probably have this dog until I'm 36! I will probably get married and have children while owning this dog. The freedom to travel through Europe for the summer is greatly hindered by owning a dog. After I'd exhausted my own, my mom offered her share of fears too, like liability if the dog bites someone, trainability and whether I have enough time to properly commit to rearing an animal. But after weighing the options, and dealing with my reservations, I decided to make the commitment.

After deciding to get a dog, then there were the breed considerations; pedigree, pound, or puppy-mill rescue, and the age possibilities of between 8 weeks to one year. After Googling (they call me "The Google-izer because I google everything) I visited Wayside Waifs, the local Humane Society for animal adoptions, and came across Austin (named after Jill, not Jane). The moment I saw him, I knew he was "the one." After playing with him, doing some additional breed research and bracing myself for a big change, I signed the papers, he had surgery, and I took him home.

I've had Austin for a couple weeks now, and after four years of living alone, it has been quite an adjustment to my lifestyle (and my sleep schedule with those 4 am puppy bathroom breaks). But it's been 3 weeks and things are going pretty good. House training is going great, basic commands, socialization and temperament, shots, finding a vet, etc. are proceeding along just fine. I'm not saying it's not hard, but it's also definitely rewarding.

My list of things that make owning a dog a little easier

1. Midwest Select Triple Door Dog Crate. How could you ever house train without a crate? Things have been going great since I picked this one up at Petmart. Austin only had accidents in it for the first few days, now he's clean and dry, loves his bed, takes naps in it every afternoon voluntarily, and I've been able to expand his sleeping area to half the kennel size. Good dog.

2. Zuke's Dog Treats: Thanks to the Brookside Barkery, home of all things natural and delightfully expensive for your pets, I came across these all-natural dog treats and teeth cleaners, which my dog absolutely loves (unfortunately due to the price tag). Now I'm buying him the gourmet treats online (sorry Brookside, but they're a lot cheaper). I'll make a snob out of him yet. I also really like the NOW! Puppy Chow, but there's quite a hefty price to that as well so for now he's on Eukanuba. I'm sticking with natural treats except for...

3. Rachel Ray's Hamburger Dog Treats. They are $1 a bag at Wal-Mart, and the dog loves them.

4. Puppy classes at Wayside Waifs. Austin loves puppy classes and he's learning so fast! There's only 4 or 5 puppies in each class, and you get one-on-one attention. Through the moral support of the class, Austin is learning bite inhibition, conquered his fear of the stairs, socializes with puppies every week, and is learning sit, down, stay and come. (He's incredible at sit, impressive at stay, tolerable at down and terrible with come. Glad we've still got some more classes.) Thanks to our instructor, Skip Daiger

5. Shawnee Mission Dog Park The dog park is a 53-acre off-leash area features a dog swim beach and wood chip and natural surface trails through grassland and wooded areas. The area also includes paved parking and portable toilets. Austin gets to meet lots of new friends, puppies, grown-up dogs, children and people. He's so cute, he always gets attention. One note: Shawnee Mission Park is chock full of deer so make sure you and your pup have appropriate tick repellent. Neither of you want to get lyme disease :(

6. Kong Chew Toys Austin's gonna be a chewer, this much I've figured out. To get him started chewing on the right things, I got him a Puppy Kong Chew toy. I spent literally hours at different times and different places looking at puppy toys. Most of them were just ridiculous and cheap. I took one look at the "stuffed Christmas themed bear" and went, "yep that'll get ripped apart and swallowed before dinner." Or those cheap squeaker chew toys? Annoying. So I did some research. I figured if I could find 5-10 durable, healthy toys that would last for a while and I didn't have to worry about him ingesting them while he's bored in the middle of the night, it would probably be worth spending a few more dollars. All my friends agree on the Puppy Kong.

7. Petsmart Grooming: With a puppy like Austin, he likes to get wet, dirty and have lots of fun. I'm not in the confident place of washing (and drying) him myself, especially in the cold weather, so it was a lifesaver when I discovered Petsmart Grooming gives puppies under 6 months a bath for $10.99. Yep, can't beat that with a stick, and he gets some more socialization time. They always say he's a little angel, and he gets to say "hey!" to some 5-10 other people in the store on the way in and out, while I get to go shopping.

8. The Stuffed Duck. In the world of dog toys, nothing so far compared to the stuffed mallard duck. It's got a not-so-annoying, somewhat believable quack, and Austin LOVES it. He sleeps with his duck, plays puppy ATTACK! with his duck, and drags it around the house.

9. Dr. Lyle at Crest Animal Hospital. Finding a vet can be a little difficult. When Saber was sick, we went to Banfield, which is the clinic our of Petsmart. To be honest, it just felt a little commercial to me - like they see way too many animals. Growing up, we went to a vet in Richmond Missouri who was the nicest lady - she was also a farm vet, so it wasn't unusual to see horse trailers parked outside her office. There is something special about that small-town practice, and the personal care provide. Vets are like dentists, and recommendations are always a good place to start. Wayside recommended Dr. Lyle, and I couldn't be happier AND he's my neighbor.

I know I'm learning a lot about dogs, but I'm also learning a lot about me. I have to tell you, it's been great coming home and not thinking and worrying about work, coming up with some new "strategies" or internally rehashing my relationships, or over-analyzing my future. Right now, everything is... "Do you need to go outside?" And that's okay.

Read more about Austin by following his

Living with an Open Heart

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 07:03:53 +0000

Right now, I'm out in California in a dorm room as I'm spending time with some kindred spirits before we begin a rather intense conference in the Pasadena area. For two days, I have been with friends (and moms) tackling the deep things of the human heart in relationships, betrayal, love, marriage, trust, family and future over lunch and pedicures. By now, I am what can best be described as emotionally wasted. And then tonight, my boyfriend calls to break up with me. "Our ministries [sorry, correction, apparently he said "callings." He wanted me to clarify. See disclaimer in comments.] are going in different directions... I think we have different theology... I hope I didn't ruin your weekend." Yep, you did. In the midst of feeling rather, well devastated, I am thinking about all that my friends and I have been talking about this weekend: How to live with an open heart.

In the past few months, you may have noticed that I've taken a few theology classes with Stephen Venable at the IHOPU. In sequential order: Mystical Life of Communion, Christology, Introduction to Biblical Doctrine, and Gospels and the Life of Christ. (I really recommend Stephen's classes, some of which you can watch online from IHOP.) In some ways, I feel like I've been meeting Jesus for the first time all over again.

When one begins to look at Jesus, not Christianity, not eschatology or theology, not the Pauline Epistles or the Torah, but Jesus, the Person, His life, His story, His emotions, His journey, you begin to see the disparity between the the supremacy Jesus, and everything else. I just keep thinking about that passage, "That in all things, He might have the preeminence." What does it mean when Jesus the Person has the first place in EVERYTHING? One of the things I love about this new Jesus I am meeting, (the real one whose acquaintance is based on His terms, not my stereotypes), is how He lived so fully and completely alive.

I've been meditating on Jesus in the midst of overwhelming emotions. I'm trying to learn what it means to give Him that first place; how to walk that out. I'm learning that with Jesus, there were no hindrances to the depth of His emotions, no self-defense walls, or self-preservation tactics. In this Jesus, we see how He takes on our frame, but in a way that we cannot conceive. He lives without all the blockages we associate with the human experience. Jesus radically redefines what being "human" really is.

Jesus, fully God and fully Man. The very image of the invisible God, manifested the Father loving fully and without restraint. He was without a doubt the most approachable Man ever. Learned scribes, pagan centurions, lepers, fisherman, prostitutes, wise men and children came to Him freely, confident they would be received. And when they were sent away by anyone else, this Jesus pursued them.

The pains of rejection cut to His very heart. He was moved - in groaning and longing - with compassion without embarrassment or shame. He openly wept, for Israel, for His disciples, and for His friends experiencing the agony of the death of Lazarus without fear of being "emotional." In righteous indignation He fashioned a whip and purged His Father's house.

He never worried about what people thought. He didn't have to. He didn't protect His reputation, He didn't defend Himself from the local rumor mill about His birth or His eating and drinking. He didn't push away friends He knew would leave Him alone in His final hours, instead He opened His heart fully, inviting them in to the longings of His heart at the last supper, showing immense vulnerability to a man who would deny Him, and agonizing before the Lord in their presence with tears like drops of blood. I could go on and on. Like that song by Jon Thurlow, "There's never been a Man that's so alive." A God-Man that was not afraid to experience the full spectrum of emotions, and by so placing His seal of Divine approval - sanctifying them forever.

And this is the one I have been united to in death, and raised in eternal life - one with this Man. This is what I am being transformed into, from glory to glory. Am I prepared to live so fully alive?

So here I sit, getting ready to go to bed with a bit of heaviness. and I go through a little "Living with an Open Heart" exercise:

1. What am I feeling? "A dull throb in my chest, and a tear slipping down my cheek. Again."

2. What am I smelling? "Nothing, my nose is clogged."

3. What am I tasting? "Salt"

4. What am I hearing? "Jesus, Broken, Poured out for Sinners..."

5. What am I seeing? "The glow of my laptop screen and a day in the distance when I won't feel quite like this."

But I am feeling, and my heart is opening and learning to feel without fear. And I ask that I may see the Jesus who wept when He heard of the death of Lazarus, and knew of the grief of Mary and Martha weeping for me now in my own trivial-it-may-be sorrow. And day by day and choice by choice I am transformed into His likeness. This Man, so alive has ushered in the era of the new humanity in which we are set free to be just like Him.

Update:I don't think my husband will ever let me live down that I blogged about one of our breakups. Blogged.

Significance of Blogging

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 07:37:24 +0000

Some days, I get a little discouraged and wonder what impact what little I'm doing really has. I wonder about my life, my worshiping, my work, and this little website of mine. This website is a little piece of my life. A corner for personal expression. I design the pages, think about the content, wish I had more money and time to dedicate to crafting something attractive, and writing something truly impacting. I don't know if I will every accomplish either of those objectives. But I try to write what I'm thinking and feeling, and hope that someone will come alongside and find a kindred spirit, a helping hand, an encouragement, or just some understanding.

Tonight I was checking on my statistics, and I b-lined for my favorite; the search terms. People find this website from the most amusing of ways, and it's usually good for a laugh, but here's what I saw tonight.

Suddenly I wondered what happened. Did she do it? Did something she may have read here change her mind?

Unfortunately, I will probably never know. But it did remind me of how much capacity we truly have for impact. We just need to get God's perspective on what "impact" really looks like. Whether it's our heartfelt blog that opens a door to Jesus through authenticity and sincerity, or whether is a friendly conversation with the Barista at the local cafe, or whether it's simply carving time out of the schedule to meet and talk with a friend.

On another note, I started thinking about search terms. If my life had search terms, what would they be?

creative, Song of Solomon, eccentric, Divinity of Jesus, devoted, prophetic, marketing, singer, commune, website, IHOP, artist, overcommitted, worship, quirky, pastoral care, humanity of Jesus, music, expressive, TheCall, bitter root, twitter, photography, CSS, hidden, Father heart, mixed media, straightforward, Endis, inner healing, songwriting, where is my home, authentic, pilgrimage, Spain, Drupal, big mouth, wholehearted, adoption, shofar.

Into Great Silence

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:40:58 +0000

It's 10 o'clock on Thursday evening. I'm sitting at home alone watching a 3-hour documentary on Carthusian monks called Into Great Silence. Before you make assumptions about my piety, let me tell you that this seemed like the most boring way to spend an evening imaginable! But since my boyfriend is out of town for 3 weeks, and my best friend is working tonight, I thought I'd give it a try.

Sure enough, the first 30 minutes or so were torture. My mind was racing with all the other more productive things I could be doing, emails I could be checking, twitters I could be typing, Facebook posts I could be making... Because this documentary doesn't move at the pace of a normal film, I had plenty of time to be completely distracted. But as the minutes gradually turned to hours, the stresses of my day, and the distractions of my heart slowed their frenzied pace at the lullaby of the monotonous tones of the monks night prayers. I found myself reflecting; able to grasp my heart more fully than I have in a long while. It must be so relaxing to be a Carthusian monk.

I invite you to ask with the hard questions with me:

Why do I do what I do? Right now, I seem find myself fast-paced, stressed out, and going a million miles. Nothing is simple, everything is multi-tasked and extra-complicated. I'm glued to my Crackberry, I check CNN, Twitter, Facebook, Beenup2 and my email just before going to bed and just after getting up. I rush from meeting to meeting, and have a rather short fuse. Why? Do I feel obligated, am I being pressured? Is this pressure coming from other people or myself? Am I afraid of being a failure? Am I purposely avoiding my life by keeping "busy"?

What am I doing that the Lord hasn't asked me to? Neville Johnson says most people spend their entire life making apple pie for God to get to heaven and discover He doesn't like apple pie. In what areas am I making apple pie, and can I stop? Sometimes I get myself knee-deep in commitments that the Lord never asked me to make, but by the time I figure that out, I'm still required to maintain my integrity and my word. Lesson learned from experience was [insert voice of the Lord here] "Don't make a vow that you don't intend to keep and I didn't ask you to make."
And truly, obedience is better than sacrifice.

What are the areas that the Lord has said are important? When I ask this question and wait on the Lord, what He says is never what I expect. I expect something like, "That really obvious, high-level ministry-related thing is what is really important to ME." but that's never it. It's more like "have a regular lunch date with your father, being deliberately vulnerable and honest with your boyfriend, being patient with your roommates, not lashing out when you are misunderstood or sideswiped at work, taking time to sing to Me, and not just in front of people as your "ministry," These are the kinds of things I hear when I listen. If I would do that more, I know my priorities and life would be in better alignment with the heart of Jesus. I'm still learning.

I have this tendency to completely over-commit out of sheer desire to be helpful. Then I get so bogged down that I go completely nuts, always frenzied and frantic, unable to give anyone the attention and love that they need, running around with much ado about nothing.

I just watched a monk glue a shoe. It took like 15 minutes to glue the sole onto this shoe. I saw him prepare the materials, peel back the sole, apply the glue, blow on it, and hammer the sole down, and there's no background music. But you know what I didn't see? Impatience.

Whatsoever you do, do it as unto the Lord.

more to come, sooner than later.

Recent Happenings Via Photos

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:12:38 +0000

I've been spending my spare time watching the mini-series Christy that I got at Sam's Club. Watching this, I've noticed a few side effects. Namely, an inadvertent southern drawl, usage of phrases like, "Well I reckon'..." and an irrepressible urge to French braid my hair. Watching this also makes me want to move to the hills of Tennessee and become a missionary/school teacher.

I've been stripping wallpaper in my house and am repainting. I have attempted for my four years of house-sitting to restrain those decorator tendencies, but I was simply unable to hold back anymore. A year of looking at this hideous wallpaper every time I walked into the house was simply too much for me. Why did people wallpaper? It was just a bad idea. The work, trying to line up those patterns, all the glue, and most of all - the removal process.

I went out with friends Shelley Paulson and Rebekah Fancher to take some pictures out in a field when we got back from California to practice lighting and such. I was a willing accomplice. You can see more of Rebekah's photos from our day out at her flickr site.

TheCall California with Lou Engle was on November 1, 2008 at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, California. Shelley Paulson took some amazing photos that you can see at TheCall's Flickr.

An Introduction to Christology

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:42:05 +0000

I am taking a class at IHOPU called "Christology II" instructed by Stephen Venable. Last spring, I led worship for his class "Mystical Life of Communion" and it was amazing. I think it should be required for everyone at IHOP. The first week of this class focused exclusively on establishing the Divinity of Jesus through the Scripture, the second week focuses on His Humanity. My next few blog posts, which are currently in the works, will focus on some of the meditations that this class is stirring up including the Divinity of Jesus, the Incarnation, and the Humanity of Jesus.

Jesus is God

Many Christians don't worry too much about the Theology of Christ, they say things like, "I just want to love Jesus" implying that they don't want to worry about all that "other stuff" While I am definitely a proponent for the simplicity of devotion to the Lord, we have an obligation to know as much as we can about this One that we say we love, and ensure that our "love" is directed to Jesus, and not a false conception of who He is. We must come to Him on His terms as revealed by the Scriptures.

In light of the coming crisis, be it the actual end-times, or simply the growing anti-Christ atmosphere in the nations, confusion on the Person of Jesus will lead to a "great falling away" in the church. In our culture of "tolerance," the conviction that Jesus Christ is the only way to the Father is highly offensive. We would be much more politically correct if we would embrace Jesus as a way to the Father among many ways, a man among many other men. But the fundamental statement that Jesus is God in the flesh is the only thing that distinguishes our beliefs from those of Islam, the New Age, Mormonism, Jehovah's Witness, Judaism and various other groups. In our post-modern era, we have forgotten that the only thing that makes us "Christian" is Christ. Not our morals or principles, not our small groups or churches. Agreement with that statement should be, and will again one day be the definitive identifier of who is a "Christian."

In our post-modern area, we have drifted so far from this confession, although to the early church, this is what defined someone as a follower of Jesus. Romans 10:9 makes it clear that salvation comes by confessing that Jesus is the Lord, and believing in your heart that God raised Him from the dead. It is not enough to believe in him as a person, to follow his teachings, to think of him as a moral leader, a prophet, or a great man. None of these ideas equate to Scriptural salvation.

Scriptures for Meditation:

"And now, O Father, glorify me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was." John 17:5

Jesus, show me Your glory, the glory that You shared with the Father before the world began.

"For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible...All things were created through Him and for Him...and in Him all things consist." Colossians 1:16-17

Jesus, the world was created by You and all things are upheld by the word of Your power. (Hebrews 1)

First Steps in Articulating Adoption

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 15:07:27 +0000

Many of you out there know that I am adopted. Maybe you've read my previous blogs on the spirit of adoption (if not, read Some Day I'm Still an [Adopted] Prodigal), or maybe you know me personally and have heard my story.

When it comes to my blogging on MY adoption, I stay pretty vague on the subject for a couple reasons. One of which is, though I've never personally met my biological mother, she has commented on this blog post before. I can't describe how strange it is to receive an email from someone you are biologically and genetically connected to, emotionally confused by, and relationally distant from. That's the thing about the internet: I am suddenly very easy to find. My thoughts are laid bare in an online journal that any Google search can uncover. AND I don't really know who's reading. Maybe it's a sibling I don't know about, or don't know about me! It could be the biological father or aunts and uncles, or maybe my mom who has become quite proficient on Facebook these days; the list goes on.

When I talked to my boss and fellow blogger, Randy Bohlender about writing about his recent adoption of infant twin girls, I thought it would be a piece of cake. Sit down, write about my story and the significance of adoption, link to his blog to hear their story, tada. Well, I've been mulling on it for a week, and still no post.

I live in a community that boldly champions the sanctity of LIFE, and I unashamedly believe that human life, whether the product of rape, unplanned and unwanted pregnancy, or the possibility of handicap, is to be protected, sheltered and loved. I vehemently oppose abortion and stare straight into the face of a "woman's right to choose" and political ideologies. My own life hung delicately in the balance, and I could have so easily become one of the 40+ million babies sacrificed on abortion's altar of convenience. Would someone look me in the eye and tell me I should have been aborted?

But a "press statement" just isn't enough. It's not enough for us to simply say that we don't agree with abortion, we have to do something about it, something more than a protest or picket line.

I have been able to join with Lou Engle and his ministry, TheCall which champions the raising up of an adoption movement to face this giant called "Abortion." Everywhere TheCall Gatherings have gone, adoptions have followed. People like John and Tracy Loux, Randy and Kelsey Bohlender, Steven and Kristi Cooper, and dozens more in my own neighborhood putting action to opinion and providing a loving home for babies that could otherwise face abortion or the foster care system.

In rereading this little note, I guess this stuff all needs to be said, but I still kinda feel like it's "weak sauce" in really sharing my heart about this. I'm going to take a break to go on a little autumn excursion, and write more later...