The Musings of Joanna Reyburn

A Little Fun-Raising

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:33:54 +0000

I'm make this short and quick, and not too sappy. Sadly, my old school Powerbook G4 from a few years ago is seeing the end of its days, and seriously cutting into my ability to do cool updates to my site, and work on exciting up-and-coming projects bringing more free music and materials to the interwebs. Looking at buying a new mac is exciting, and expensive with a $1700 price tag (updated ONLY $1500 woohoo), but at this point its pretty necessary. If you've enjoyed some free downloads, encouraging blogs, are really excited about upcoming recording projects (oops, beans spilled) or web sites I may be working on, or you just like me and want to bless me, I would appreciate any contributions to make the purchase of a new "baby" possible. You can get me via paypal, or holler on the contact page if you fancy sending a check, and if you can't give anything - no pressure. I'm just glad you're here.

Blessings
Joanna

Memories from a 17-Year-Old Wanna-Be Mystic

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:38:12 +0000

The International House of Prayer in Kansas City is about to celebrate its ten year anniversary of 24/7 worship, and that's got me all nostalgic. I was in high school when the prayer room opened, and I was really bummed I had to keep going to school every day instead of joining staff. Every Friday night, my mom and I would make the 40 mile drive to Grandview just in time for Monty Poe's set, followed by Carol Hall. We came to every "Bridegroom Watch" and conference. I remember being at the Enjoying God worship conference in 1999 and hearing Julie Meyer singing and leading worship. It was at one of those conferences in the late 90's that I heard JoAnn McFatter prophetically singing, and I told my mom that's what I was supposed to do. She told me to consider being a lawyer.

When I finally graduated high school, I gave up scholarships to do an internship in 2002 with IHOP. I remember our first day; we were required to be in the prayer room for 12 hours and honestly when it was over, I didn't want to leave. My dream was to spend my life worshiping Jesus and crying my eyes out at His feet. I spent long hours pouring over John of the Cross' poems, and writing in my journal, praying and gazing on Jesus and waiting on Him, studying the Song of Solomon and being astonished as He unfolded mysteries about His heart and His affections. It was wonderful. Lots of people now talk about how it didn't smell good in the prayer room, or it had bad carpet, but I never noticed that. I just remember being with Jesus.

I ache, and strive and pray to be in that sweet place again. Where disappointment and frustration, and years of waiting and organization and structure and discipline and tarrying and dryness and disillusionment fade away, and I can find myself content to be in the place of simply loving Him. Not proving my leadership abilities, or being responsible with something, or building a Christian resume, just loving Him again unreservedly and unashamedly.

Through the years - I stretched and I grew, and I tried and I failed, and I waited and I served, and I compromised, and I strove for approval, then I ran from commitment, and I followed the Lord and I learned the hard way, and now what?

I know that prayer room is gone. I know that I can never again be that 17-year old girl with such simplicity and naivety. No matter how many time I sit reading...

Like a stag in the forest you charged me and fled

You vanished, I followed lamenting my loss

...it will never be the same. No matter how many times I sing the same choruses, it is a futile attempt to return to an earlier version of myself. I can't unlearn and undo what 7 years has done.

I can only press on.

I know that things are changing for me. I feel it and know it. The Lord has been working in my heart with a determination that although I will never again be a 17-year-old Mary of Bethany, I can love Him extravagantly at 24, and I can love Him with all of me. I trust and hope that He has a purpose in my creativity and curiosity, that my insatiable apetite for mysteries and study has not thwarted the cry of my heart for presence and abiding. That with every unique and creative and eccentric part of my being, I can love Him. Oh this is getting exciting again.

How can I love you extravagantly today Lord?

What Do You Feel About Me?

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Tue, 19 May 2009 03:23:10 +0000

I'm sitting at the kitchen table after a long day. Austin, my 4 month-old puppy has brought out of his basket almost every toy he has. He's currently running around making quite a racket with his empty 2-liter bottle. Beside me, his stuffed quacker duck on one side, a firewood log turned chew toy on the other. Despite my living room turned giant playpen, he such a good puppy and I'm grateful.
More about Austin here>>

Background music is the prayer room, but not-so-live: I'm recording some parts of my devo from Saturday and marveling at the provision of the Lord. Saturday, I played a two-hour solo devo at the prayer room at IHOP. At the time, I was so moved in my heart watching other people being ministered to, knowing that this was just for them. "Oh those people crying! So great."

...One day later, I felt SO discouraged. You know that all-around discouraged day where you're target practice for the accuser, but you don't recognize it as accusation? Those days where you wonder if you've missed your destiny in the Lord, and now you're stuck with "less than" for the rest of your life? Where you feel kinda sapped of the passion you feel like you once had for the Lord, and wonder if you're wandering around in circles? I'm sure I don't need to describe the voice of the accuser, but it sounds like "not good enough, too weak, a failure, no future, missed it, disqualified, etc etc." Add in some self-pity and you've partnered to get yourself in a real pickle. Where that's where I was; pickling.

I have noticed, and I must remember this for the future, that in times like this it's usually hard for me to hear the Lord. But it's not because I'm disqualified from hearing His voice, but because I'm too preoccupied, condemned, self-centered, or discouraged to actually take time and listen. Well the Lord was gracious, and spoke rather loudly. Remember that set on Saturday? You thought it was for all those other people, but it's for you today. I knew that you would need encouragement. Why don't you go back and listen to it, and know that it's my heart for you.

My sheep will hear my voice.
You will know me.

Be of good cheer, my eyes are on you.
Be of good cheer, my heart is for you.

I've seen your weakness and I know your pain
I've seen your journey, every step of the way

Just know that I am with you
You I will not forsake

You make me glad, right where you're at
I'm rejoicing over you.

When all you can see if your weakness
When all you can feel if your pain
When all you know is your struggles
but you say yes to me anyway,
You make me glad.

He is simply so gracious to meet us where we are, and let us know that we don't have to stay there. He will open to us a door of hope in the wilderness. The whole secret of David, his Isaiah 22:22 key was an unwavering confidence in God's heart for him. Despite seasons of victory and failure, David knew that who He was before the Lord was not contingent upon those circumstances. He saw through the veil to a day when we would be hidden in Christ.

Wherever you're at right now, I encourage you to set aside some quite time to be with the Lord and ask Him "What do you feel about me? Talk to me about Your future for my life. Open up my eyes, show me a way out of the wilderness. Where are my doors of hope Lord?" If it helps, download this 30-minute portion of my set and let the Lord encourage you today.

Showing Mercy

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 04:57:29 +0000

The Catalyst

I've been working in non-profit organizations, churches and ministries for about 7 years now and recently, I have been SOOOO frustrated. It's been hard! People get bogged down with politics, lots of 'em have these emotional problems that interfere with their productivity, there seems to be a general absence of "getting things done" and "get up and go" and a little "up and at 'em" - and that drives me up the wall, and we're talking the "Wow, I think I need inner healing" wall.

Choosing Mercy

In light of the "loosing my marbles" feeling in my heart and life, I've been pressing in with my private at-home devotional time asking the Lord to do something. I've been soaking to Laura Woodley (Osman)'s cd's Home and In Love. You may have heard Laura on Tehilah Toronto's cd, Born of the Spirit. If you don't have her cd's, I recommend that you get them. She is my favorite soaking/devotional worship leader, and her albums are long-play The cd's are a little hard to find and I couldn't locate any mp3 downloads online, but it's worth buying the physical cd. You can listen to some of her songs on their Myspace.

I've been listening to a song on her In Love cd called Mercy on repeat. It's like Jesus therapy.

"Standing on the other side of forgiveness. You are different now, I can see it. Standing on the other side of all my angry walls, I don't judge you at all. I've been forgiven of more than I could ever be angry for, instead of judgment, I choose mercy."

I was also listening to a Bill Johnson message from Bethel weekend services podcast on Sunday, and he said (I'll probably butcher this quote) something like "The Lord has mercy and shows favor to groups with poor organization and structure because He cares about the people involved." He was also talking about how at the end of the day, we don't stand before the Lord with an org chart, but with the lives of people.

At those words, my conviction meter started rising. For quite some time, the perspective of my heart has been: "Now I could really make something of this if we had a better infrastructure and less silly people..." It's so easy to allow our motivations to gradually drift towards charts and graphs, schedules and meetings, lists, productivity and deliverables. And we keep telling ourselves that we're doing all this for Jesus.

I know I needed that reality check. I don't want to entertain the delusion that I'm neglecting my relationships for Jesus, that I'm snapping at people at work for Jesus, that I'm running over people, but it's okay because it's for Jesus...It's not for Jesus, and He doesn't like it. Jesus is not in the business of manipulating people (from my favorite Neville Johnson sermon, Understanding Grace) Just thinking on that one gets me. He's not into coercing them, or wringing them dry of their gifts, talents and abilities. Sacrificing for organized church isn't the Gospel of the Kingdom, loving people is.

In that earlier-mentioned message, Bill goes on to talk about showing grace. He says, "I'd rather show grace to someone, and find out later I've been tricked and they weren't as repentant as I thought, then to NOT show grace and stand before the Lord for my judgments."

Luke 11:46 Jesus replied, "And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them.

My Birthday Puppy

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 21:47:05 +0000

I got a Puppy for my 24th Birthday

Now I realize that I have been a little silent on my blog, and I wanted to explain myself. Meet Austin, my 10-week old birthday puppy. If you don't have a dog, or don't care too much, just scan the pics. Otherwise enjoy my rather detailed dog-servations.

For me, getting a puppy is no small thing. I've never raised a puppy. I grew up in a home with dogs, but none of them were solely my responsibility. While living on my own, I did care for an adult Malamute/Husky Saber before he died, but never a puppy. I had to come to terms with some pretty sobering facts: I will probably have this dog until I'm 36! I will probably get married and have children while owning this dog. The freedom to travel through Europe for the summer is greatly hindered by owning a dog. After I'd exhausted my own, my mom offered her share of fears too, like liability if the dog bites someone, trainability and whether I have enough time to properly commit to rearing an animal. But after weighing the options, and dealing with my reservations, I decided to make the commitment.

After deciding to get a dog, then there were the breed considerations; pedigree, pound, or puppy-mill rescue, and the age possibilities of between 8 weeks to one year. After Googling (they call me "The Google-izer because I google everything) I visited Wayside Waifs, the local Humane Society for animal adoptions, and came across Austin (named after Jill, not Jane). The moment I saw him, I knew he was "the one." After playing with him, doing some additional breed research and bracing myself for a big change, I signed the papers, he had surgery, and I took him home.

I've had Austin for a couple weeks now, and after four years of living alone, it has been quite an adjustment to my lifestyle (and my sleep schedule with those 4 am puppy bathroom breaks). But it's been 3 weeks and things are going pretty good. House training is going great, basic commands, socialization and temperament, shots, finding a vet, etc. are proceeding along just fine. I'm not saying it's not hard, but it's also definitely rewarding.

My list of things that make owning a dog a little easier

1. Midwest Select Triple Door Dog Crate. How could you ever house train without a crate? Things have been going great since I picked this one up at Petmart. Austin only had accidents in it for the first few days, now he's clean and dry, loves his bed, takes naps in it every afternoon voluntarily, and I've been able to expand his sleeping area to half the kennel size. Good dog.

2. Zuke's Dog Treats: Thanks to the Brookside Barkery, home of all things natural and delightfully expensive for your pets, I came across these all-natural dog treats and teeth cleaners, which my dog absolutely loves (unfortunately due to the price tag). Now I'm buying him the gourmet treats online (sorry Brookside, but they're a lot cheaper). I'll make a snob out of him yet. I also really like the NOW! Puppy Chow, but there's quite a hefty price to that as well so for now he's on Eukanuba. I'm sticking with natural treats except for...

3. Rachel Ray's Hamburger Dog Treats. They are $1 a bag at Wal-Mart, and the dog loves them.

4. Puppy classes at Wayside Waifs. Austin loves puppy classes and he's learning so fast! There's only 4 or 5 puppies in each class, and you get one-on-one attention. Through the moral support of the class, Austin is learning bite inhibition, conquered his fear of the stairs, socializes with puppies every week, and is learning sit, down, stay and come. (He's incredible at sit, impressive at stay, tolerable at down and terrible with come. Glad we've still got some more classes.) Thanks to our instructor, Skip Daiger

5. Shawnee Mission Dog Park The dog park is a 53-acre off-leash area features a dog swim beach and wood chip and natural surface trails through grassland and wooded areas. The area also includes paved parking and portable toilets. Austin gets to meet lots of new friends, puppies, grown-up dogs, children and people. He's so cute, he always gets attention. One note: Shawnee Mission Park is chock full of deer so make sure you and your pup have appropriate tick repellent. Neither of you want to get lyme disease :(

6. Kong Chew Toys Austin's gonna be a chewer, this much I've figured out. To get him started chewing on the right things, I got him a Puppy Kong Chew toy. I spent literally hours at different times and different places looking at puppy toys. Most of them were just ridiculous and cheap. I took one look at the "stuffed Christmas themed bear" and went, "yep that'll get ripped apart and swallowed before dinner." Or those cheap squeaker chew toys? Annoying. So I did some research. I figured if I could find 5-10 durable, healthy toys that would last for a while and I didn't have to worry about him ingesting them while he's bored in the middle of the night, it would probably be worth spending a few more dollars. All my friends agree on the Puppy Kong.

7. Petsmart Grooming: With a puppy like Austin, he likes to get wet, dirty and have lots of fun. I'm not in the confident place of washing (and drying) him myself, especially in the cold weather, so it was a lifesaver when I discovered Petsmart Grooming gives puppies under 6 months a bath for $10.99. Yep, can't beat that with a stick, and he gets some more socialization time. They always say he's a little angel, and he gets to say "hey!" to some 5-10 other people in the store on the way in and out, while I get to go shopping.

8. The Stuffed Duck. In the world of dog toys, nothing so far compared to the stuffed mallard duck. It's got a not-so-annoying, somewhat believable quack, and Austin LOVES it. He sleeps with his duck, plays puppy ATTACK! with his duck, and drags it around the house.

9. Dr. Lyle at Crest Animal Hospital. Finding a vet can be a little difficult. When Saber was sick, we went to Banfield, which is the clinic our of Petsmart. To be honest, it just felt a little commercial to me - like they see way too many animals. Growing up, we went to a vet in Richmond Missouri who was the nicest lady - she was also a farm vet, so it wasn't unusual to see horse trailers parked outside her office. There is something special about that small-town practice, and the personal care provide. Vets are like dentists, and recommendations are always a good place to start. Wayside recommended Dr. Lyle, and I couldn't be happier AND he's my neighbor.

I know I'm learning a lot about dogs, but I'm also learning a lot about me. I have to tell you, it's been great coming home and not thinking and worrying about work, coming up with some new "strategies" or internally rehashing my relationships, or over-analyzing my future. Right now, everything is... "Do you need to go outside?" And that's okay.

Read more about Austin by following his

Living with an Open Heart

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 07:03:53 +0000

Right now, I'm out in California in a dorm room as I'm spending time with some kindred spirits before we begin a rather intense conference in the Pasadena area. For two days, I have been with friends (and moms) tackling the deep things of the human heart in relationships, betrayal, love, marriage, trust, family and future over lunch and pedicures. By now, I am what can best be described as emotionally wasted. And then tonight, my boyfriend calls to break up with me. "Our ministries [sorry, correction, apparently he said "callings." He wanted me to clarify. See disclaimer in comments.] are going in different directions... I think we have different theology... I hope I didn't ruin your weekend." Yep, you did. In the midst of feeling rather, well devastated, I am thinking about all that my friends and I have been talking about this weekend: How to live with an open heart.

In the past few months, you may have noticed that I've taken a few theology classes with Stephen Venable at the IHOPU. In sequential order: Mystical Life of Communion, Christology, Introduction to Biblical Doctrine, and Gospels and the Life of Christ. (I really recommend Stephen's classes, some of which you can watch online from IHOP.) In some ways, I feel like I've been meeting Jesus for the first time all over again.

When one begins to look at Jesus, not Christianity, not eschatology or theology, not the Pauline Epistles or the Torah, but Jesus, the Person, His life, His story, His emotions, His journey, you begin to see the disparity between the the supremacy Jesus, and everything else. I just keep thinking about that passage, "That in all things, He might have the preeminence." What does it mean when Jesus the Person has the first place in EVERYTHING? One of the things I love about this new Jesus I am meeting, (the real one whose acquaintance is based on His terms, not my stereotypes), is how He lived so fully and completely alive.

I've been meditating on Jesus in the midst of overwhelming emotions. I'm trying to learn what it means to give Him that first place; how to walk that out. I'm learning that with Jesus, there were no hindrances to the depth of His emotions, no self-defense walls, or self-preservation tactics. In this Jesus, we see how He takes on our frame, but in a way that we cannot conceive. He lives without all the blockages we associate with the human experience. Jesus radically redefines what being "human" really is.

Jesus, fully God and fully Man. The very image of the invisible God, manifested the Father loving fully and without restraint. He was without a doubt the most approachable Man ever. Learned scribes, pagan centurions, lepers, fisherman, prostitutes, wise men and children came to Him freely, confident they would be received. And when they were sent away by anyone else, this Jesus pursued them.

The pains of rejection cut to His very heart. He was moved - in groaning and longing - with compassion without embarrassment or shame. He openly wept, for Israel, for His disciples, and for His friends experiencing the agony of the death of Lazarus without fear of being "emotional." In righteous indignation He fashioned a whip and purged His Father's house.

He never worried about what people thought. He didn't have to. He didn't protect His reputation, He didn't defend Himself from the local rumor mill about His birth or His eating and drinking. He didn't push away friends He knew would leave Him alone in His final hours, instead He opened His heart fully, inviting them in to the longings of His heart at the last supper, showing immense vulnerability to a man who would deny Him, and agonizing before the Lord in their presence with tears like drops of blood. I could go on and on. Like that song by Jon Thurlow, "There's never been a Man that's so alive." A God-Man that was not afraid to experience the full spectrum of emotions, and by so placing His seal of Divine approval - sanctifying them forever.

And this is the one I have been united to in death, and raised in eternal life - one with this Man. This is what I am being transformed into, from glory to glory. Am I prepared to live so fully alive?

So here I sit, getting ready to go to bed with a bit of heaviness. and I go through a little "Living with an Open Heart" exercise:

1. What am I feeling? "A dull throb in my chest, and a tear slipping down my cheek. Again."

2. What am I smelling? "Nothing, my nose is clogged."

3. What am I tasting? "Salt"

4. What am I hearing? "Jesus, Broken, Poured out for Sinners..."

5. What am I seeing? "The glow of my laptop screen and a day in the distance when I won't feel quite like this."

But I am feeling, and my heart is opening and learning to feel without fear. And I ask that I may see the Jesus who wept when He heard of the death of Lazarus, and knew of the grief of Mary and Martha weeping for me now in my own trivial-it-may-be sorrow. And day by day and choice by choice I am transformed into His likeness. This Man, so alive has ushered in the era of the new humanity in which we are set free to be just like Him.

Significance of Blogging

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 07:37:24 +0000

Some days, I get a little discouraged and wonder what impact what little I'm doing really has. I wonder about my life, my worshiping, my work, and this little website of mine. This website is a little piece of my life. A corner for personal expression. I design the pages, think about the content, wish I had more money and time to dedicate to crafting something attractive, and writing something truly impacting. I don't know if I will every accomplish either of those objectives. But I try to write what I'm thinking and feeling, and hope that someone will come alongside and find a kindred spirit, a helping hand, an encouragement, or just some understanding.

Tonight I was checking on my statistics, and I b-lined for my favorite; the search terms. People find this website from the most amusing of ways, and it's usually good for a laugh, but here's what I saw tonight.

Suddenly I wondered what happened. Did she do it? Did something she may have read here change her mind?

Unfortunately, I will probably never know. But it did remind me of how much capacity we truly have for impact. We just need to get God's perspective on what "impact" really looks like. Whether it's our heartfelt blog that opens a door to Jesus through authenticity and sincerity, or whether is a friendly conversation with the Barista at the local cafe, or whether it's simply carving time out of the schedule to meet and talk with a friend.

On another note, I started thinking about search terms. If my life had search terms, what would they be?

creative, Song of Solomon, eccentric, Divinity of Jesus, devoted, prophetic, marketing, singer, commune, website, IHOP, artist, overcommitted, worship, quirky, pastoral care, humanity of Jesus, music, expressive, TheCall, bitter root, twitter, photography, CSS, hidden, Father heart, mixed media, straightforward, Endis, inner healing, songwriting, where is my home, authentic, pilgrimage, Spain, Drupal, big mouth, wholehearted, adoption, shofar.

Into Great Silence

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:40:58 +0000

It's 10 o'clock on Thursday evening. I'm sitting at home alone watching a 3-hour documentary on Carthusian monks called Into Great Silence. Before you make assumptions about my piety, let me tell you that this seemed like the most boring way to spend an evening imaginable! But since my boyfriend is out of town for 3 weeks, and my best friend is working tonight, I thought I'd give it a try.

Sure enough, the first 30 minutes or so were torture. My mind was racing with all the other more productive things I could be doing, emails I could be checking, twitters I could be typing, Facebook posts I could be making... Because this documentary doesn't move at the pace of a normal film, I had plenty of time to be completely distracted. But as the minutes gradually turned to hours, the stresses of my day, and the distractions of my heart slowed their frenzied pace at the lullaby of the monotonous tones of the monks night prayers. I found myself reflecting; able to grasp my heart more fully than I have in a long while. It must be so relaxing to be a Carthusian monk.

I invite you to ask with the hard questions with me:

Why do I do what I do? Right now, I seem find myself fast-paced, stressed out, and going a million miles. Nothing is simple, everything is multi-tasked and extra-complicated. I'm glued to my Crackberry, I check CNN, Twitter, Facebook, Beenup2 and my email just before going to bed and just after getting up. I rush from meeting to meeting, and have a rather short fuse. Why? Do I feel obligated, am I being pressured? Is this pressure coming from other people or myself? Am I afraid of being a failure? Am I purposely avoiding my life by keeping "busy"?

What am I doing that the Lord hasn't asked me to? Neville Johnson says most people spend their entire life making apple pie for God to get to heaven and discover He doesn't like apple pie. In what areas am I making apple pie, and can I stop? Sometimes I get myself knee-deep in commitments that the Lord never asked me to make, but by the time I figure that out, I'm still required to maintain my integrity and my word. Lesson learned from experience was [insert voice of the Lord here] "Don't make a vow that you don't intend to keep and I didn't ask you to make."
And truly, obedience is better than sacrifice.

What are the areas that the Lord has said are important? When I ask this question and wait on the Lord, what He says is never what I expect. I expect something like, "That really obvious, high-level ministry-related thing is what is really important to ME." but that's never it. It's more like "have a regular lunch date with your father, being deliberately vulnerable and honest with your boyfriend, being patient with your roommates, not lashing out when you are misunderstood or sideswiped at work, taking time to sing to Me, and not just in front of people as your "ministry," These are the kinds of things I hear when I listen. If I would do that more, I know my priorities and life would be in better alignment with the heart of Jesus. I'm still learning.

I have this tendency to completely over-commit out of sheer desire to be helpful. Then I get so bogged down that I go completely nuts, always frenzied and frantic, unable to give anyone the attention and love that they need, running around with much ado about nothing.

I just watched a monk glue a shoe. It took like 15 minutes to glue the sole onto this shoe. I saw him prepare the materials, peel back the sole, apply the glue, blow on it, and hammer the sole down, and there's no background music. But you know what I didn't see? Impatience.

Whatsoever you do, do it as unto the Lord.

more to come, sooner than later.

Recent Happenings Via Photos

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:12:38 +0000

I've been spending my spare time watching the mini-series Christy that I got at Sam's Club. Watching this, I've noticed a few side effects. Namely, an inadvertent southern drawl, usage of phrases like, "Well I reckon'..." and an irrepressible urge to French braid my hair. Watching this also makes me want to move to the hills of Tennessee and become a missionary/school teacher.

I've been stripping wallpaper in my house and am repainting. I have attempted for my four years of house-sitting to restrain those decorator tendencies, but I was simply unable to hold back anymore. A year of looking at this hideous wallpaper every time I walked into the house was simply too much for me. Why did people wallpaper? It was just a bad idea. The work, trying to line up those patterns, all the glue, and most of all - the removal process.

I went out with friends Shelley Paulson and Rebekah Fancher to take some pictures out in a field when we got back from California to practice lighting and such. I was a willing accomplice. You can see more of Rebekah's photos from our day out at her flickr site.

TheCall California with Lou Engle was on November 1, 2008 at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, California. Shelley Paulson took some amazing photos that you can see at TheCall's Flickr.

An Introduction to Christology

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:42:05 +0000

I am taking a class at IHOPU called "Christology II" instructed by Stephen Venable. Last spring, I led worship for his class "Mystical Life of Communion" and it was amazing. I think it should be required for everyone at IHOP. The first week of this class focused exclusively on establishing the Divinity of Jesus through the Scripture, the second week focuses on His Humanity. My next few blog posts, which are currently in the works, will focus on some of the meditations that this class is stirring up including the Divinity of Jesus, the Incarnation, and the Humanity of Jesus.

Jesus is God

Many Christians don't worry too much about the Theology of Christ, they say things like, "I just want to love Jesus" implying that they don't want to worry about all that "other stuff" While I am definitely a proponent for the simplicity of devotion to the Lord, we have an obligation to know as much as we can about this One that we say we love, and ensure that our "love" is directed to Jesus, and not a false conception of who He is. We must come to Him on His terms as revealed by the Scriptures.

In light of the coming crisis, be it the actual end-times, or simply the growing anti-Christ atmosphere in the nations, confusion on the Person of Jesus will lead to a "great falling away" in the church. In our culture of "tolerance," the conviction that Jesus Christ is the only way to the Father is highly offensive. We would be much more politically correct if we would embrace Jesus as a way to the Father among many ways, a man among many other men. But the fundamental statement that Jesus is God in the flesh is the only thing that distinguishes our beliefs from those of Islam, the New Age, Mormonism, Jehovah's Witness, Judaism and various other groups. In our post-modern era, we have forgotten that the only thing that makes us "Christian" is Christ. Not our morals or principles, not our small groups or churches. Agreement with that statement should be, and will again one day be the definitive identifier of who is a "Christian."

In our post-modern area, we have drifted so far from this confession, although to the early church, this is what defined someone as a follower of Jesus. Romans 10:9 makes it clear that salvation comes by confessing that Jesus is the Lord, and believing in your heart that God raised Him from the dead. It is not enough to believe in him as a person, to follow his teachings, to think of him as a moral leader, a prophet, or a great man. None of these ideas equate to Scriptural salvation.

Scriptures for Meditation:

"And now, O Father, glorify me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was." John 17:5

Jesus, show me Your glory, the glory that You shared with the Father before the world began.

"For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible...All things were created through Him and for Him...and in Him all things consist." Colossians 1:16-17

Jesus, the world was created by You and all things are upheld by the word of Your power. (Hebrews 1)

First Steps in Articulating Adoption

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 15:07:27 +0000

Many of you out there know that I am adopted. Maybe you've read my previous blogs on the spirit of adoption (if not, read Some Day I'm Still an [Adopted] Prodigal), or maybe you know me personally and have heard my story.

When it comes to my blogging on MY adoption, I stay pretty vague on the subject for a couple reasons. One of which is, though I've never personally met my biological mother, she has commented on this blog post before. I can't describe how strange it is to receive an email from someone you are biologically and genetically connected to, emotionally confused by, and relationally distant from. That's the thing about the internet: I am suddenly very easy to find. My thoughts are laid bare in an online journal that any Google search can uncover. AND I don't really know who's reading. Maybe it's a sibling I don't know about, or don't know about me! It could be the biological father or aunts and uncles, or maybe my mom who has become quite proficient on Facebook these days; the list goes on.

When I talked to my boss and fellow blogger, Randy Bohlender about writing about his recent adoption of infant twin girls, I thought it would be a piece of cake. Sit down, write about my story and the significance of adoption, link to his blog to hear their story, tada. Well, I've been mulling on it for a week, and still no post.

I live in a community that boldly champions the sanctity of LIFE, and I unashamedly believe that human life, whether the product of rape, unplanned and unwanted pregnancy, or the possibility of handicap, is to be protected, sheltered and loved. I vehemently oppose abortion and stare straight into the face of a "woman's right to choose" and political ideologies. My own life hung delicately in the balance, and I could have so easily become one of the 40+ million babies sacrificed on abortion's altar of convenience. Would someone look me in the eye and tell me I should have been aborted?

But a "press statement" just isn't enough. It's not enough for us to simply say that we don't agree with abortion, we have to do something about it, something more than a protest or picket line.

I have been able to join with Lou Engle and his ministry, TheCall which champions the raising up of an adoption movement to face this giant called "Abortion." Everywhere TheCall Gatherings have gone, adoptions have followed. People like John and Tracy Loux, Randy and Kelsey Bohlender, Steven and Kristi Cooper, and dozens more in my own neighborhood putting action to opinion and providing a loving home for babies that could otherwise face abortion or the foster care system.

In rereading this little note, I guess this stuff all needs to be said, but I still kinda feel like it's "weak sauce" in really sharing my heart about this. I'm going to take a break to go on a little autumn excursion, and write more later...

Discovered In Conversation

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 22:24:29 +0000

In conversation, I have realized that perhaps my thoughts on God are a little unorthodox. I just assumed that all "believers" felt the way that I do. Perhaps this is not the case.

I have great expectation in God. I believe that He speaks today, and will speak frequently to me personally through pictures, whispers, deep impressions, inviting memories and recollections (yes, I've sung that), Scriptures, contemplations, heavenly visions, dreams, trances, prophetic words and more ways than I can ask, think or imagine. I am convinced that He cares about my relationships, my financial struggles, my friendships, the romance or lack thereof in my life, the uncertainty of my future, and everything else about me. I am convinced He is intimately acquainted with all my ways, and not just so He "knows," but so that we can walk together.

When I come to a crossroads in life, I wait with full expectation that God cares about my particular situation and has specific direction. I recognize that by the very nature of having God-given favor upon my life, things I put my hand to will many times succeed - but I must know that this success is not necessarily an indication that I am in the "will of the Lord."

I don't wonder a lot. I trust that the Lord will clearly speak to me through the aforementioned ways. I make a little time and space to listen, and sometimes He breaks in even when I'm not listening, because He's faithful and He leads me. I guess if He didn't give me clear direction, I'd keep doing my spiritual disciplines and trust Him to work it out. I think about Jesus doing only what He saw the Father doing - and I don't want to live any differently.

That all seemed pretty standard to me before this conversation. Tonight I realized that many people don't live like that. My friend described his experience in God as simply "plugging along and waiting for God to broadside him if He wants to tell Him anything." He has no expectation to hear from God in the day to day, and that makes me sad.

Getting a Word in Edgewise

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 05:36:11 +0000

I am in a spiritual community in which the common, subconscious assumption is that a prayer environment [read prayer room] changes things deep within our hearts by osmosis. The idea is that you can get transformed simply by sitting in there, and if you sit in there a long time, it's even better. Now I have always been more quality vs. quantity myself, I'd rather have a powerful 2 hours than a negligible 8, but I have now known people who for 5 years have been consistently sitting in a prayer environment and have yet to truly address significant heart issues. This recognition that one can sit in a prayer room for years, singing choruses, praying for Cairo and wisdom and revelation ad nauseam and yet not meet the Father regarding childhood wounds, acceptance and self-esteem, fear, paranoia, shame and condemnation, is a bit startling. And then I think that perhaps, this is the case with me too! I can't tell you how many times I've talked to someone about a hard time that I was going through, and their response was "You should spend more time in the prayer room."

So I go to the prayer room.

(Maybe you don't have a prayer room nearby, and are thusfar having a hard time relating. Maybe you're thinking, "Man, I'd LOVE to have a prayer room to go to." Don't get me wrong, it is really great. Think about your prayer time then.)

For past few years, much of my prayer life has looked a lot like this:

"Lord I will give up everything for You. Do whatever it takes. I don't want to be offended. I will burn all the bridges and turn my back on everything.I will make my vows to You. I want to be found faithful. I just want to love you more. I'll turn my back on all the good things of this world, all the legitimate pleasures, I'll give up everything. You are the one thing I want. Everything else is vanity and chasing the wind. Nothing compares to you. I'll turn my back on my father and mother..."

So basically, take a bunch of Misty choruses and put them together.

This type of "prayer" bears a sort of fruit in my life: usually its emotion and agitation. I can get myself in an emotional tissy and cry and make my declarations of intentions, sacrifice and vows, and I leave this "place of prayer" feeling very much accomplished, go to the bathroom to wipe the mascara from my cheeks, breath in "Ah, another good prayer time," and go home.

I have begun to notice that the Lord has a hard time getting a word in edgewise.

And somehow, I can't imagine Enoch's relationship where he "walked with God" (and subsequently was no more) looking quite like this.

Taking a Fresh Look

Since what I'm looking for is more the "Enoch variety," I'm taking a fresh look at what prayer is. There are a few things I'm beginning to learn about where I'm at right now:

1. I love the house of prayer and corporate intercession and devotional worship with the word meditation to music, Misty choruses and all manner of things like that. This is sort of a disclaimer.
2. I can't spend 8 solid hours in the prayer room. I go crazy.
3. Times of prayer that are a personal dialogue with the Father do not occur [for me] in an atmosphere with 90db worship choruses blaring in the background. If I attempt said Father-time, I am easily enticed to cease my dialogue with the Father and begin singing "like a hammer, like a fire, break in, break in" or to engaging for "the raising up of intercessors, prophetic singers, and musicians for the houses of prayer in Israel."

All of this being said, I have discovered that carving out that time to spend with the Father alone in a quiet place, is MUCH HARDER than sitting in a room with music. Having been a singer for years on 6 am sessions in the House of Prayer I can attest that, although it is hard to wake up at 4 am to go sing, it is inconceivably harder to wake up at 4 am and sit in the living room to talk with Jesus. Inconceivably. And somehow, at 4 am (which I of course have never actually successfully done this at 4 am) as I'm sitting there trying to figure out how to talk with Jesus and allow Him to truly have His way in the dark and shadowy places in my heart, that zeal to tell Him how much I'm going to sacrifice quickly pales, as it should in the place of encounter with the one who said:

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. Every branch that does bear fruit he prunesso that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other."

Learning to Simply Respond

"Jesus, You said I was already clean by the word that You have spoken. Speak over me again today. I hear Your voice."

Then I pause and listen. He always speaks.

"Show me areas that You are pruning for my benefit. I agree with You in this process."

Pause and wait for impressions. I find that areas will come to mind that have seemed to be set-backs, but now I recognize that it's an area that the Lord has His hand on in pruning for my good, and my mindset is radically altered.

"Lord, what is the fruit that you are calling forth in my life for the glory of the Father?"

Pause. I find many scenarios will come to mind, day-to-day frustrations, relationships, struggles and situations that I begin to recognize as opportunity for fruit; faith, patience, kindness, and love that does not seek its own.

Have you ever heard the Lord invite you to "Ask whatever You wish?" What would you say?

"Jesus, as the Father has loved You, so You have loved me. I remain in Your love."

Maybe its just semantics, but I've made a conscious effort to stop using the "I will, I want to" language with the Lord, and to in-the-moment, simply "I do."

"Jesus, You called me your friend."

I am thoroughly messed up, but it's more than a stirring of my soul realm or zeal hijacking my emotions, it's become an exercise of the spirit.

Now this is prayer; not just telling the Lord how devoted I am to Him (although that may have its place too), but letting Him really look at me; look into those deep places and draw out dreams and desires and joys that He has planted their, and root out fears and anxieties and darkness that don't belong there. I am His garden. That's what He does and what He's like.

Stay tuned for more of my prayer rediscovery.

He Heard Me...

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:32:21 +0000

Sometimes there are moments in life where I feel so lost. Now is one of those moments. It's not a hopeless lost, just more of a disoriented wandering where you wake up one morning and go, "Where am I and how did I get here? And where do I even want to be?" It's a moment similar to how I imagine the prodigal son in a field of, well pig manure, in that moment where Luke describes him "coming to his senses." I have come to my own epiphany moment. Maybe the pig-shit analogy is a bit dramatic, but I am looking at where I'm at and recognizing that I'm just not where I want to be right now.

Many times for me it's the little things that throw off my spiritual equilibrium. Things like allowing my work load, scheduling woes or my own lethargy to rob me of my spiritual disciplines; silent and soaking prayer, reading my Bible, journaling or an hour on the piano. Before I know it, I'm gorging my soul while my spirit starves. I stay up late, watch movies, aimlessly hang out, sleep in, listen to really depressing mixes on my iPod, get in other people's business, become sharp and cynical, and innocently enough a downward spiral has begun that leads to any number of increasingly depraved vices. I was talking with a friend the other day about what a bad place they were in, and what to do and how to get out of it, and I realized something: a "bad" place is one choice away from a "good" place.

So he got up and went to his father. Luke 15:20

Now I'm sure that process wasn't easy. Maybe he had to pay off a debt to his employer. Did he put in two-weeks notice? How far from home was he really, are we talking the next county or country? Did he hitch-hike? Maybe he wasn't in good health, I mean he had been working with pigs. What happened to his addiction to "pig pods." So many factors involved here. Was there a 12-step process, who was his accountability? I have any number of questions about how this all happened, but Luke doesn't really give me any help. Why did Luke, and the Holy Spirit allow the description to be so simplistic?

This is has been a crazy year for me. I am trying to process all the pieces of various relational chaos, my own uncertain future, financial instability where I'm fighting just to stay above water, family medical emergencies, ministry ambiguity, and looking for community and accountability in a bubble that can make me feel so isolated, and today I woke up going "AH! Where am I and what am I doing?" Even more frustrating, people around me that I have known and loved seem to be finding themselves in situations of veritable pig-shit, but as I've been praying about what to say and what to do, the Lord spoke to me about the power of one choice; coming home to the Father.

I'm learning that I need to do this every day. Whether it's waking up earlier, constraining my desires, repenting [again], curbing my tongue, setting aside a little time, it's as simple as coming home. For me, the thought of making one choice versus 37 lifestyle adjustments seem more manageable, more doable, more relational. If it's just about being with Papa, I can do this.

The bottom line is, I don't want to be with my "disciplines." I don't want to share a cup of tea with them, and curl up in a ball on the floor and cry. I don't want to pour out my heart to an excel sheet of 15-minute increments. But remembering that this journey isn't all that complicated. It all boils down to coming back to the Father without disqualifying myself, trying to barter for acceptance, and just letting Him love me and bring me in. I can do this, and so can you.

Let me leave you with the soundtrack that I've been playing. I think it's pretty fitting. Andrea Carr's He Heard You from the Choose LIFE cd.

An Open Letter to Mike Bickle, Allen Hood and Lou Engle

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 02:04:09 +0000

This will probably be a disappointment if it was discovered in a Google search for heresies or some-such nonsense. This is a real letter, edited a bit for the blog-viewing audience. I came to this decision by way of a great conversations with Therese Engle and Dustin Box, and a bit of prayer and a dose of humility. In providing this, I in no way intent to place my conclusions upon anyone else. To each his own accountable to the Lord. Perhaps this will provide food for thought primarily in the exercise of the liberty in the spirit in contrast to the strengthening of those "soul rights" which are contrary to the things of the spirit.

Dear Mike Bickle and Allen Hood, and Lou Engle,

I wanted to write and thank you for your strong stand regarding social drinking in our community from today's All-Staff meeting. I felt that it was necessary for me to make a decisive statement of agreement and submission, mostly for my own sake. I felt that this email was necessary for the confirming of my commitment before the Lord on this matter.

I have been attempting to walk in the letter of the law (instead of the spirit of the law) on this issue to excuse my taste for specialty beer and fine wine. I've had dinner parties where everyone was over 21, and only those not on [IHOP KC] staff were allowed to have a glass of wine. I've relished the thought of trips to Canada where I could have a beer because it was "outside the country" or drinking by myself in my own home because it wasn't technically "social" drinking.

But despite all of my attempts, I have at times still been party to, or witnessed the consumption of alcohol in settings that were not appropriate. The Lord has been showing me that there has been a resistance in my heart to simply give up alcohol, and that is the greater vice and hindrance. My stubborn insistence of my "rights" has been my indiscretion.

When I read the New Testament, I see Paul's willingness to lay down his rights and give up meat lest anyone take offense. In comparison to his humility, I see the disparity in my own unwillingness to give up the little thing of an occasional Boulevard wheat and Pinot Noir. Avoiding alcohol is a pruning of my soul, and I am more aware now than ever of how needed that pruning is! Not that I need alcohol or drink it often, but that I have enjoyed the "right" to do so. Such "rights" are the exercise of a soul realm whose increasing strength has dulled my spirit.

I must also take into account that although I want to live like an established adult, play house, have dinner parties, enjoy my Pinor Noir, I cannot but recognize what I really am, which is a young single female in a community of primarily single young adults. For all of us in this situation, the renunciation of alcohol will only be a benefit to our reputation, conduct and heart before the Lord. I do not want to kick against the goads, but want to walk not just in the letter of the law, but in the spirit as well.

Thank you for your Leadership,

Joanna Reyburn

What I've learned from Heather Clark

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 07:33:00 +0000

I've been leading worship at IHOP for 6 years now. Recently I took a break from my full-time worship leading schedule to pray about how to move forward. I don't have a lot of direction right now, but I feel like the Lord has been prompting me to start identifying the values He has placed in my heart. Sometimes when I feel a little lost, the Lord will send something my way to help me get back on track. Today, it was a download from Heather Clark entitled I Am Loved. Listen to it in the MUSIC section.

I'm inspired by: Heather Clark. A wife, a mother of four, a musician, singer, and songwriter, a dancer and an artist - and all at the same time. She doesn't suspend one expression of her heart to operate in another. She leads worship, will dance during it, paint and have her children join her onstage. And she doesn't seem to be afraid of being judged for it. She said once,

"I was talking with David Ruis when I was visiting in California. He was talking about the tribes of the earth that are experiencing revival and as we were talking I began to think about what I really believe about the glory of God and where it is found. It is found in healing, in demons being cast out, where salvation is being manifest, where the priests can’t stand to minister, but it’s also found in the face of the poor, in the relationship between a father and son where you see the father just cheering on his son. It is found at 3:00am when I am awake rocking my babies in my arms and pouring out my offering. For me worship is not compartmentalized - we worship here but not over there. No, for me the worship I display folding 6 people’s worth of laundry or cutting 80 little kid nails is just as beautiful and valid as the worship that I pour out on a stage for thousands of people. "

I feel like I'm friends with Heather even though we've never met. The Dark Yet Lovely album played constantly on repeat when I first came to IHOP in 2002, and I remember reading in the liner notes that she was inspired by Mike Bickle's Song of Solomon teaching: she just felt like family. And a song called "Price of Love" on a compilation absolutely wrecked me. "I have known the price of love. Given all I have for a moment's time with you. I have died a thousand times, and I have learned to be free."

What I'm learning about myself from what I see in Heather Clark: My life of worship is more than the sum of its parts, or my judgment of its worth.

My dilemma: I'm an extravagant worshiping artist on the inside, but I've become a pragmatic realist on the outside. I have given up many things that are in my heart because I thought they just weren't as valuable to the Lord.

Deep inside, I love creating art. Whether it's painting, sketching, photography, assembling collages with hidden and profound meaning (at least to me) or simply gazing at beauty and taking the time to encounter the Lord in these rare glimpses. My heart comes alive when I am faithful to simply be free to create without casting judgment, on myself or others.

But I have learned to tell myself that experiencing beauty isn't a priority, that it doesn't really matter. That there are many other "important" things to do instead of spending my time in a pile of glue and paper fragments making a collage that 3 people will understand.

I love singing spontaneously - pouring out my worship on the piano in songs that will never be written down. I love singing at the top of my lungs even if it doesn't sound so good. I love corporate worship leading and partnering with the Lord in ministering to people. I love the idea of the true priesthood - ministering to God, ministering to people.

I love that burning in my belly when I know there's a song from the Lord to sing. It usually isn't what I think it would be - all squeaky clean and refined - it's usually raw and piercing like a sword that separates soul from spirit. I usually don't sing it so well. It pulls me to pieces and demands that I come as I really am, not as I think I am or want to be - it places these demands on all within earshot. Heavenly spontaneous songs boldly confront lies in my heart, about God or about me, and require that I replace lies with truth, darkness with light. Whether that truth is disconcerting and uncomfortable or liberating and restorative. I usually wonder if I'm going to get in "trouble" for singing it. And too many times I resist singing out what I feel the Lord whispering, or sometimes thundering, for fear of judgment or rebuke. I love gaining revelation from singing. It happens every time I get into a "flow" - suddenly I understand more clearly what Jesus meant in a passage, what the Lord was doing in my life two months ago, or what the will of God for a present-day decision is. When this "spirit of revelation" comes, I love receiving of it. It's like food I continue to eat the rest of the week, chewing and digesting a weighty revelation.

But I have learned that there's a certain form that people are comfortable with, and I should just work within that framework. I've learned that another round of "Here I am to worship" is easier to read books to and is less disruptive. I have learned that many times we don't want to really hear what the spirit is saying, we just want to hum a nice melody.

If were liberated from the fear of man and fear of judgment, I would love to dance behind the keyboard. I would break out in a joyful twirl, stomping and clapping in a tribal dance and swaying from side to side in worship. I was a dancer when I was younger, ballet, and something about that never left my heart. I feel like a dancer, I look like a dancer, and if you catch me waiting in line at the grocery store, you could appreciate my turnout which I still default to when standing still.

When I'm in "heavenly places" before the Lord in prayer, I don't sing at Him; I dance. Sometimes when I'm alone at home, I'll pull out my toe shoes (that still fit by the way) put on some worship music and twirl around on the wood floors in the living room. And if you've ever caught me in a rare but free moment in the prayer room, I have braved the censure to extravagantly dance in the "dance square" - maybe for a moment or two if it was empty. I love pouring out my heart before the Lord; the raw, the vulnerable, the authentic, but all too quickly judgment sets it. Either my own judgment of myself, or the fear of being judged by somebody else. I wouldn't dance behind the keyboard, I'm too afraid of judgment. I hardy dance in my own house because I know that I'm really "not that good" at it.

Hearing from Heather inspires me to challenge these responses of fear and judgment. I see that she's found a liberty that I long to walk in. Not only do I long to, but I have been invited by the Lord Himself. I know that He's called me with an anointing that breaks the yoke. Unfortunately right now I just need to experience that first in my own life.

TheCall, Atc and a 40-Day Fast

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 15:42:09 +0000

Worship Leading at the Awakening Teen Camp at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City.

Lou Engle and Mike Bickle have invited our community here in Kansas City to a 40-day fast leading up to TheCall DC. The fast started today, June 30 and extends until August 8. I've posted the audio message where Lou shares about what the Lord has spoken to him, and what prompted this fast, and I encourage you to check it out!

Onething Lakeland - Updated

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:59:45 +0000

***2nd Update***
Myself, and two friends, Sarak Kim and Travis Vaughn from TheCall, were able to go down to Lakeland, Florida to see Todd while he was ministering in the tent at the Lakeland regional airport. We flew down on June 5 and stayed for 6 days in the same retreat center I had stayed at for the Onething Lakeland conference. One thing I may have failed to mention was that on the wall of the retreat center were hanging pictures of some of the most notable healing evangelists of all time. A.A. Allen, William Branham, Alexander Dowey, and Marie Woodworth Etter. I noticed these pictures when I was here before, walked in and went, "Wow, these are some of my favorite people! I have been reading the biographies of William Branham by Owen Jorgensen and I highly recommend the 5-volume set. My friends and I are eagerly awaiting the final book still yet to be released.

Going to Lakeland was amazing. Being there in the presence of the Lord, seeing things first-hand and experiencing the behind-the-scenes of a move of God like this, going to the beach, etc. I had met Todd in the summer of 2007 up in Canada, and we had taked a bit and gone to a steak grill-out. I didn't think he'd remember, but sure enough! In the middle of his 8,000 person annointing service, as I was going through the line he stopped me and said, "HEY! Don't I know you!" We had a mini-conversation there at the altar, and then he gave me the "double-portion" annointing - a two-fisted oil slosh!

***1st Update***

Who knew that a week after our Onething conference, the city of Lakeland Florida would explode in revival healing outpouring at a Todd Bentley conference?? We sure didn't. But one thing we did know - Hungry people were in Lakeland. I led worship one session, and every time I even began to bring the music down, the crowd spontaneous sang to the Lord in volume levels unheard of at most conferences - even our own Kansas City Onething. The people in Lakeland were absolutely desperate for the Lord. The atmosphere was ready for a match to be lit - unfortunately we were not that match. Thankfully someone was. Next time, I want to be a match...

***End Update***

The Lakeland Onething Conference overview. Held at Lakeland's First Baptist Church at the Mall, we had Friday night and all day Saturday indoors at their amazing facility, and the last session on Saturday night on an outdoor stage in the back parking lot by a beautiful (and apparently gator infested) lake: a first for Onething. Matt Gilman was pretty sick for much of the conference, and I ended up leading an afternoon session on Saturday, a first for me with Onething. I had some amazing conversations with young adults who drove from all over Florida to attend this gathering. Our team stayed at a beautiful retreat center and all in all, it was a great trip.

Here's a couple interviews in Lakeland Florida ... including me. Actually, I haven't watched this, it's too awkward for me. I listened to the first couple minutes and said, "Yikes, that's what my speaking voice sounds like?!" and gave up. I'm trying to get to the place where I feel comfortable talking on camera about what the Lord is doing and has done in my life, but it's not easy. I still feel mighty self-conscious about it all.

The Shack - A Must Read

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 00:04:31 +0000

Last night, I was up until after midnight reading a book I picked up at Barnes & Nobles yesterday. Now usually when my mother tells me about something she saw on 700 Club, or some such Christian source, I supress eye-rolling. The latest craze in Christian books has always been a disappointment to me. But for some reason, I bought the book she had seen on an interview immediately and went home and started to read...

There are a few books throughout my life which have changed the way I think about most everything. Books like the Chronicles of Narnia as a child learning that Aslan's "not safe, but He's good." Later again C.S. Lewis' Problem of Pain opened a window to my soul, allowing the much-needed breeze into dark and stuffy corners. A.W. Tozer's Knowledge of the Holy on the goodness of God, and Thomas Merton's No Man is an Island challenging my own isolation tendencies. Growing up reading biographies, I remember Peace Child by Don Richardson. How that book haunted me, and Night by Eli Weisel. These were more than mental diversions from my hectic life, these demanded my attentions and emotions. I could not casually read at the local cafe for fear that I would begin to reverberate with sobbing, or have to set the book aside to get on my face before my God. These are books that causd me to think differently, feel differently and live differently. They demanded that I come clean and bare my soul so riddled with weakness. They required confrontation of my patterns of thinking, drawing my battered emotions into the light. These aren't your historical Christian fiction, which I can appreciate as a sort of mental respite, these are like collisions with God.

In all of my reading, I have never come across a book quite like William P. Young's The Shack. It is well written in a way that thunders through a sort of raw transparency. If is devoid of that tasteless Christian predictability littered with phrases and churchoelogy which I find so put-off-ing. It is refreshing, fresh, unorthodox, disconcertingly real, and wonderful. Well, here's the back of the book:

Mackenzie Allen Philips' youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted
during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally
murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness.
Four years later in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack receives a
suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack
for a weekend. Against his better judgment he arrives at the shack on a
wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare. What he
finds there will change Mack's world forever. In a world where religion
seems to grow increasingly irrelevant "The Shack" wrestles with the
timeless question, "Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable
pain?" The answers Mack gets will astound you and perhaps transform you
as much as it did him. You'll want everyone you know to read this book!

My mother and her roommate sat in wing chairs across from me reading their own selections, which were frequently interrupted by either my sobbing and sniveling or laughing out loud. After numerous trips to the bathroom for kleenex, they kindly provided me a box. By the time they retired for the evening, I was ready for a private cry-fest.

The Lord used this book to assure me again of His heart, of how much He loves me, of the beauty and reality of His abiding presence, of the mystery of the invitation and acceptance in the beloved and I gained heavenly insights into the mystery of the Trinity.

As a child, I had a vision of Jesus. He wore Bermuda shorts and a flower-print Hawaiian shirt, had kind eyes and long hair. He wore flip-flops and invited me to come with Him through the nations. That childhood image of Jesus preserved through the years of religion without relationship. I knew that if that experience was real, and having happened to me, I was fairly sure that it was, that Jesus was different than so many people made Him out to be. The Shack resonates in my heart with the emotion that filled my little heart when I realized Jesus really wanted to hang out with me: an experience that changes everything.

I highly recommend that you go get this little book and set aside some 4 hours in private to read it. Make sure it's a place where you can laugh and cry. Don't look for systemic theology, it's not a textbook. Just let the Lord speak to you from His heart. I know you'll like it.

Blessings,

Joanna Reyburn

Merchant Band at Onething

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 04:38:12 +0000

Many of you may know that I have been singing with a worship team at IHOP called Merchant Band for the last year. Our annual Onething conference at Bartle Hall in Kansas City was the last hurray for Merchant Band. Marcus Meier, a worship leader at IHOP for some 7 years now is transitioning into a new role, and Tim Reimherr has taken over the team. I've been worship leading with the band for a few months, but now there's a "role" for me: Associate Worship Leader. Below I've included some videos from YouTube of Merchant Band at the Onething Conference we some 17,000 young adults attended the 4 day conference culminating with The Call on New Year's Eve.

Campbell Estate Sale Finds

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 02:45:41 +0000

Monday, October 29, 2007.

Today I went to an estate sale of the property of the gentleman, Mr. Harry Campbell, for whom I have been house-sitting for these past three years. He passed away at 97 years in August. The trip today to his home, my "old" home, now sorted and merchandised like a garage sale sobered me with an air of finality. I spent three years in his home, tending to, and treasuring the things he and his wife worked hard to accumulate, though perhaps a little excessive in the accumulation, simply to have it now auctioned in wholesale lots. It struck me how glaring the lightness of our footprint here on this earth and "if I have not love..." what have I really?

In the midst of such gloom, I was cheered by my ability to rescue a few scarce pieces of the Campbell collection from an uncertain and ambiguous future. I thank my father for making these few purchases possible, by that I mean that he purchased them for me, as I am currently in a measure of "want." I have acquired:

A croquet set. Unlike the modern, trendy ones, this set has the capacity of actually being utilized with sturdy mallets. These sturdy mallets have dual purpose, and may be used stoutly for self-defense, should the occasion present itself. I myself have test-driven them, by that I mean that I have played croquet with them, not whacked someone in the head. This is the benefit of living in the house prior to the estate sale, when I had a little soire last year called the "Walmer Croquet Gala." Photos available here.

Some wonderful books. Anyone who knows me hardly at all knows my appreciation for all things aged (pronounced "age-ed") and old books easily win my heart. The idea of a beautifully bound book going unappreciated just makes me sick. Thankfully, in this case, I've been able to give a few titles a new and loving home. Titles like:

Attic Philosopher in Paris by Emile Souvestre printed in 1899 with beautiful gold leaf and flower print hardcover binding.

The Poetical Works of Robert Browning Vignette Edition with 100 New Illustrations printed in 1892, and originally owned by a M. Ferne Roberts 1897 according to the cover page script, also with floral and gold filigree and absolutely delightful illustrations.

Turning Points in World History by Henry Mann printed in 1897. A small but delicate book with an advertisement for the Christian Herald in the back that reads:

"The Christian Herald is the Brightest and Best Family Paper in Existence. Beautifully Printed in Many Radiant Colors, Profusely Illustrated by Eminent Artists, it present in the Most Attractive Manny the Choicest Contributions of the Grandest Men and Women of two Continents. It proves an unfailing Source of Joy and Gladness to ever Home it enters, fascinating alike Old and Young with its Delightful Literary and Pictorial surprises. In fact, there is no Paper just like it in all the World, and a family without the Christian Herald misses much of the Good Cheer and Golden Sunshine of Life. Subscribe TO-DAY. You will never regret it, and herafter there will be Fifty-two Addition Bright, Red-Letter Days in your Family Calendar - the days on which the ever-welcome Christian Herald is due at your Home."

I guess we can be thankful that perhaps Christian advertising has changes, though perhaps subtly, from this in a hundred years.

Precept Upon Precept or A Third Series of the Earliest Religious Instruction the Infant Mind is Capable Of Receiving with Verses Illustrative of the Subjects published by the American Tract Society a really long time ago.

Along with other notables like Campbell's poetical works, Writings on the Constitution, Whittier's Poems, Collected works of Henry David Thoreau, and essays of Robert Lewis Stevenson, and 18,00 Words Often Mispronounced.

Need Some Inspiration?

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 23:09:59 +0000

Things can get a little tedious. Sometimes I wake up and realize that's two weeks have passed and I didn't even realize it. That scares me. That maybe one day I'll wake up and realize that my life has passed and I was so "busy" that I didn't even realize it was passing by. I've noticed when I'm busy, I usually miss the beauty.

I have a desire to be more deliberate about my creative exercises; little disciplines to help me fully participate in my own life. Things like:

1. Taking a 15 minute Breathe-break. This is also related to point 4. I actually don't recommend #1 without #4.

2. Sketching in my sketch book. Even if it's just sketching my breakfast! Danny Gregory has some great tips and inspiration to help get even the most un-inclined, hidden sketch-artist, out.

3. Full-body stretches. Apparently I do this all the time at work (Redwood Studios). It involves a full reach to the heavens, and toes pointed down. In my case, this occurs in my office chair and is accompanied by a squeal of sorts.

4. Stop praying. May sound strange, but being a part of a prayer community has some interesting side affects. One of them that I've noticed is that I pray too much. Now let me clarify, by that I mean I don't listen enough to the Lord because I'm always talking. Stopping the constant internal stream and saying, "Lord what are you saying?" and making the space to listen can make all the difference.

5. Inspiration. When I come across individuals who are living life fully and wonderfully completely, I am inspired. You should be too. These special people remind us of the important things in life; the Mother Teresa's, Heidi Baker's, and Akiane's. Let me acquaint you with Akiane; a 12-year-old child prodigy artist that paints the picture below at 8 years old. Did I mention the dreams, visions, and poetry. This little girl reminds me of Jesus, and I love people like that.

Hillary and Branham

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 03:26:06 +0000

I've got to let you in on a little secret: I'm currently reading The Final Quest for the first time. I know, that is simply unheard of. For years, I have seen that book appear on numerous favorite lists, and heard people reference it like a prophetic dictionary of sorts, but I have never read it. Well friends, that is changing. And no wonder people like that book.

I've also been reading the biographies of William Branham

Dislcaimer: I am very aware of the controversies revolving around William Branham's presumed position of his latter ministry. I recognize that it is vitally important that our doctrines be firmly established upon the infallible Word of God expressed in the Bible and that we not be "carried about with various and strange doctrines." [Hebrews 13:9] Supernatural experiences, revelations and encouters are powerful and valuable, but they are not intended to etablish doctrine. With this in mind, I do believe that Branham was used mightily by the Lord and we have much to learn from his weaknesses and mistakes, as well as the measure of friendship he shared with the Lord. "Remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the word of God to you whose faith follow, considering the outcome of thier conduct for Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Hebrews 13:7-8. For more disclaimers on controversial works, head over to the Library and check out my article entitled "Eating the Meat and Spitting out the Bones."

I've been reading Branham's biographies by Owen Jorgensen, Available Here, and I have been so encouraged! My faith has been stretched and strengthened by reading about his early life. While reading some of his early encounters with the Lord, I came across an end-time vision he had. It included prophecies about Mussolini, Ethiopia, and Word War II, which all came to pass. In it he sees the United States being led by a cold-hearted woman.

Then a few days later, I watched Dick Morris on Fox News (which due to moving to a new location without cable, I will now have to live without. That and Top Chef on Bravo, and the Dog Whisperer on National Geographic, and the marathons of Law & Order). He spoke about the realistic probability of Hillary's election as our next President.... UPDATED: With Obama's nomination and Biden's choice for the Vice President, Hillary seems to be officially out for this round. Maybe the woman is Sarah Palin...Nah.

Why I Go to Canada So Much

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 15:27:40 +0000

Why I go to Canada so much

I just spent a month in Sylvan Lake Alberta. I drove up with a friend Richard Smith for Jonny Nash's wedding. Because it's such a long drive, some 27 hours, we decided to make it an extended trip. This is my third drive up to Sylvan, and we took my favorite route through Moosejaw Saskatchewan, staying at the Howes' family farm, which is absolutely delightful, and a great way to begin and end our journey.

People always ask me why I like going to Canada so much, and ask me if I'm moving. I was there 3 months out of the year last year and see myself visiting regularly in the future. I love helping with the short-term internships and worship leading at church. I love just being a part of a real church again, the kind with women's groups that pray and prophecy over you, and eccentric conferences that require the excercise of grace, and just having a church family. I love having someone I respect over the age of 28 that I can sit down with over coffee and get some wisdom from. I love the service meet and greet moment that lasts forever and results in a plethora of hugs and someone always drunk in the spirit. And I love the community of my friends.

Every evening for hours, all of my friends in Canada usually get together at a house, eat food, talk, and hang out for hours. Maybe a lot of time is wasted playing Call of Duty, maybe it will all make sense later. Many of us met through IHOP, then did an internship with Shawn Bolz and Whitedove ministries. Others have joined in from various internship programs and ministries. We seem to spend our time listening to Chuck Missler and Neville Johnson sermons and comparing iPod contents. We can sit around and talk about mysteries together, like Quantum Physics and the nature of light and sound, or chat about whether or not Enoch built the pyramids, or whether there's a case for the gap theory, right along with BMW superiority and the upcoming Oilers game, or what we're going to do with our lives, or how we should start our own mafia. I always seem to take intense ribbing about women wearing head coverings. Sometimes we hang out and worship and get blasted by the Holy Spirit.

These are people in whose presence I've had heavenly encounters, been drunk in the Spirit, with whom I've lived in intern housing, driven across the country and travelled around the world. People who have encouraged me to not give up, prophecied over me, rebuked me, and loved me even when I'm stupid. These are the people I call when something's going on, people I want to know for years.

Feeding my Heart Stuff

The Lord has put such an expectation and desperation for His presence in my life. Hanging out with Todd Bentley in Canada and hearing his recent experiences with the Lord boosted my faith. Mike Bickle talked recently about the Lord carving capacity in hearts, and the necessity that follows to be filled with light. I have a voracious appetite! Here's a brief summary of what I'm loving right now...

1. Bill Johnson & Bethel. I got to hang out with some school of ministry students from Bethel, and I am so impressed with everyone I've met from there. I am so absolutely and completely challenged by these people! Signs, wonders, and everyday miracles and the necessecity of walking in the spirit, and doing only what we see tha Father doing is really impacting me. I'm subscribed to Bethel's podcast, and regularly listen to their Sunday services.

2. Todd Bentley's Blog. His Heavenly Encounters have been incredible readings accompanying my own Hebrews study. I also love listening to his podcast. He just gives away the greatest messages.

3. Chuck Missler. Yesterday I listened to something like 3 hours of Chuck on Stretching the Heavens and the Dilation of Time. I don't know if I really understand any of it, but it's great. As a starter, I'd recommend Learn the Bible in 24 Hours.

4. Neville Johnson has single-handedly influenced the way I think about the realm of the spirit more that any other preacher or teacher. I've uploaded many of his hard-to-find mp3 audio to my website in the Teaching section. Check it out.

If Anyone Thinks He Knows Something

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 01:23:58 +0000

I've been meditating on I Corinthians 8 in the last week or so, as detailed below in NIV (though I rarely read such translation, I liked some of the phrasing). I've been especially stuck on the emboldened portions...

1 Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. 2 The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. 3 But the man who loves God is known by God. 4 So then, about eating food sacrificed to idols: We know that an idol is nothing at all in the world and that there is no God but one. 5 For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many "gods" and many "lords"), 6 yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live. 7 But not everyone knows this. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat such food they think of it as having been sacrificed to an idol, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled. 8 But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do. 9 Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if anyone with a weak conscience sees you who have this knowledge eating in an idol's temple, won't he be emboldened to eat what has been sacrificed to idols? 11 So this weak brother, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. 12 When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall.

"The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought." Recently, I've been studying the Bible more thoroughly than ever before in my life. I've been finding such fascination in the word by searching through the Greek and Hebrew, breaking out commentaries, diagramming sentences, perusing the Midrash and Talmudic writings and consulting the perspective of early Church fathers. I'm loving it. I've found that I really want to be a theologian, and that I love to study and search out the mysteries. Now I want to learn Greek and Hebrew! But I keep this chapter in the forefront of my studies all the time.

When I was younger, or maybe yesterday, and I received what I believed to be a new revelation, I would try and bring it up in every conversation, talk about it at every opportunity, and introduce people who may be unfamiliar to this new concept. But that scripture follows me around, and I'm discovering that the more I learn, the more context I develop, the more accurate translation I have, the more I discover how little I really know.

In the area of Christian freedom, I am so struck that Paul was willing to become a vegetarian if the eating of meat would cause a brother to stumble. Such humility! The normal human response is, "Why should I stop what I'm doing simply because they have a problem with it!" Paul was so humble.

If you are looking for helpful resources for study, the following have inspired me greatly. Chuck Missler's Learn the Bible in 24 Hours is an amazing place to start. You'll get an overview of every book in the Bible, and Chuck throws in these details that will blow your mind and inspire you to search them out for yourself. Chuck's website, Koinonia House is also a goldmine of study-food. Another favorite is Neville Johnson. Sometimes his stuff is hard to get a hold of so I've posted mp3's in the teaching section.

Some Days I'm Still an [Adopted] Prodigal

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 00:31:34 +0000

In the midst of doing so much in my life right now. I am busy with so many things. I've been going to sleep thinking, "I'm so tired," and waking up saying "I'm so tired," and in the middle of the day: "I'm so tired." It's got me thinking quite a bit about the difference between striving and fruit-bearing.

As I was sorting the mp3 sets, I came across a set that I did alone in the middle of the night a couple years ago. I was really touched. It's so funny; having done hundreds of sets at IHOP over the years, and suddenly hearing something from a couple years ago and being impacted all over again at the revelation.

Being adopted as I am, the Lord has taught me a thing or two about the "spirit of adoption." [Romans 8] I almost feel to an unfair advantage! I have known for the whole of my conscious life that I was adopted. I have also known without a shadow of a doubt that I am loved and accepted. I have known that, to my parents, I am a profound treasure; someone they waited years for, paid a high price for and sacrificed greatly that I may be called their daughter. Nothing could change that.

I love it when someone compliments my [adopted] parents on my looks..."Wow Dave, we sure know who Joanna's father is; she looks just like you." or "Susan, I knew right away this must be your daughter! There is a strong family resemblance!" I tend to chuckle inwardly and am prone to say, "I'm adopted" just to spare them embarrassment if they ever do find out, but my parents just take it all in, and even add to it! They always refer to genetic traits of theirs as if I've inherited them. "Yep, She's got the Reyburn constitution!" I remember having to remind my own mother that I was adopted, and therefore did not share her genetic heritage once when I was at the doctor filling out that form, "Has anyone in your immediate family every had [fill in the blank]. "

I love being adopted. Even when I went through that 16-year-old (or whenever) rebelliousness seemingly inherent to adolescence. There were times I [probably] yelled and told them I hated them. But the one thing I knew better than to say was...

I'm not really yours.

It's the same with the Lord, except to an infinitely greater degree. After the price He paid, the great lengths He went to that we could be His, that we constantly disqualify ourselves. I have began to reconsider the parable of the prodigal son. Upon his decision to return to his Father, what did the prodigal son do?

Took judgment into his own hands
Denied his sonship
Disqualified affections, both his and His Father's
Offered servitude as a replacement
Tried to gain acceptance through strivings

I think of the phrase, "Something no man can take from me." No one can make me a not-son. It's just that simple. Something I DO does not change who I AM before the Lord, in the same way that in my own seasons of adolescent rebellion, I was in no way less a daughter of my parents. (Sonship is not a gender issue - it signifies our identity and inheritance.)

I have some friends in Canada say stuff like,

Q. "How are you doing?" A. "About an 8 out of 10. Heh?" (It's true, Canadians say that.)

We tend to think of our spiritual sonship identity like that. We tend to think about the manifestion of sonship in our lives like that. "I'm about 5 out of 10." But the reality is not primarily manifestation but position.

The reality is that NOW we are His [Romans 8, Galatians 3-4] sons of God through faith in Jesus Christ. Like the prodigal,

We are sons. It's who we ARE. Nothing we could DO could change who we ARE.
Nothing I say or do could ever gain anything. The love of God (unlike ours) is not a progression. As humans we are always changing. The shadow is always turning and we are either growing in love, or our affection is growing cold. With Him there is no variance, or shadow of turning. [James 1:17] He is outside time; He does not change. He has loved us to the end. He does not love us "more" or "less" today, He has loved us from everlasting, completely. Nothing we could do could make Him love us "more."
As sons, we are called to bear fruit, and that our fruit would remain [John 15: 16] and to perform "good works" [James], but these do not define us.

Pictures from Israel

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 13:51:38 +0000

My Last Day in Israel

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 02:14:30 +0000

Woke up at the Dead Sea. I have discovered that rolling definitely takes up less room than flat packing. Now it's time to fit all those souveneirs into my bag.

After leaving the Dead Sea around 8 am, we headed towards Jerusalem. On the way, we stopped at a gas station outside of Jericho. Jericho is occupied by Palestinians, and controlled by the Palestinian National Authority. Israelis are not permitted access, and most Westerners are advised against a visit as well. We stopped at a gas station just off the highway, Jericho within sight. We picked up the token ice cream bar and dried dates and pomegranates for a morning snack. Some took a memorable camel ride, and we continued on our way.

We arrived in Jerusalem shortly thereafter. It's always surprising to me how close everything is in Israel. Jericho is only 23 miles from Jerusalem: Bethlehem is only 6 miles south! It's such a small humble place. Driving from Jericho to Jerusalem means driving through an IDF checkpoint past the retaining wall around the eastern side of Jerusalem meant to discourage rogue Palestinians from sneaking into the city. The Judean Wilderness that separates the cities is inhabited by Bedoins who, though not nomadic anymore, still herd goats and live in accomodations which I cannot imagine. Below is a picture: Click on it to see more details.

So we ended up back in Jerusalem. The tour bus dumped us off at the Jaffa Gate near the Old City. Having been there so many times before, I planned on just walking over to the Succat Hallel for the couple hours free time, but was persuaded to go with some friends for t-shirt purchases. Everyone loves a good Hebrew writing Israeli Defense Force T-shirt souveneir, and today we discovered that anybody who bought anything before had been ridiculously ripped off. We found a little shop with a one-armed guy who charged us 15 shekels a t-shirt, and 35 for a hoodie. Now divide shekels by 4, and you've got Canadian dollars, and then shave off a bit for USD. That means, something like $3.50 for a T-shirt and $8 for a hoodie. We got a lot. Now they're all a bit crooked and they shrunk like crazy, but they were $3.50.

After meeting the tour bus again, we stopped for lunch at not-kosher MacDonald's, which means the first combination of meat and cheese in a few weeks. After lunch, we stopped at the Valley where David fought Goliath. Piling out of the tour bus, we walked through the dry riverbed, and I picked up my own 5 smooth stones.

We arrived in Tel-Aviv with plenty of time to look around and shop before dinner. We all split up and started meandering towards the Mediterranean. Tel-Aviv reminded me so much of Torrejon in Spain. I loved it. We walked through open-air markets, stopped at a great little pub for a Guiness, and some of the guys loaded up on Diesel jeans. Dinner was a predictable affair with lts of hummus, but our tour had formed such a great relationship with our Israeli tour guide that it did feel like we were leaving family.

We got to the the airport in time for a 3 hour delay.

Galilee

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 08:25:08 +0000

We stayed for 2 nights in Tiberias on the Sea of Galilee. The day we drove from Jerusalem was so packed! Jerusalem isn't actually that far away, but there is so much of interest in between! We stopped at the ruins of the ancient city of Megiddo, looking out across the famous valley. It was so surreal being there, looking out across the valley with pristine agriculture and an air base, and trying to take in it's significance. Behind me is the Valley of Megiddo and the Round Mount on the right side is Mount Tabor. This was taken from the ruins of the ancient city Tel Megiddo. We also drove up Mount Carmel, which offers a beautiful view of the valley as well. Standing on a circle at the look-out point from Mount Carmel which points towards the different cities in Israel. Looking out across Megiddo to Nazareth or Mount Tabor where Deborah stood and watched the battle, behind is the Mediterranean, which you can see from Mount Carmel on a clear day (and it was a clear day). To the right is Jerusalem, left Lebanon. We also went to Cesarea-Phillipi and the Sea of Galilee

Temple Mount and House of Prayer

joannareyburn@gmail.com (Joanna Eleanor) — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 17:10:55 +0000

Temple Mount and Dome of the Rock: A lot has happened here. Abraham almost offered Isaac, then David purchased this spot of land, and it became the location of Solomon's Temple and then Herod's Temple, which was destroyed by the Romans in 70 AD. Moslems gained control of the spot, and built some mosque's on it some 600 years. Although Israel took the Mount from Jordan during the ’67 War, it was decided shortly thereafter that custodianship of the Muslim ‘holy sites’ would remain with the Kingdom of Jordan. This means that Israel continues to claim sovereignty and is responsible for over-all security—but the top of the hill, with the Dome of the Rock and the Al Aksa mosque, is considered a “holy Muslim site”, a contingency of Jordanians known as the WAQF police the area alongside the Israeli troops and oversees administration and maintenance.

Non-Muslims are allowed on the Mountain, but only at certain designated hours, and they are not allowed to worship or pray demonstrably while there. Within 25 years of the death of Mohammed, the mountain in Jerusalem was designated the location of the “Farthest Mosque (Al Aqsa)” where the prophet had [supposedly] ascended to heaven to receive his revelations. An elaborate mythology was developed in which Abraham was the first Muslim who sacrificed Ishmael, not Isaac as we know it, on this mountain. From the 10th century until well into the 20th the “Hashemite” family in Arabia, claiming direct descent from Mohammed, held oversight of the holy places in Mecca. In the early 1920’s this oversight was taken away by the Saudis, but in 1922 Britain divided up the land of Palestine, all of which had been intended in the Balfour Declaration as a future home for the Jews, forming a land called Trans Jordan. As a gift to the Hashemite leader who had assisted them in overthrowing the Turkish rule in the Middle East during the First World War, they offered to grant him a limited leadership of this new territory. With independence in 1946, Abdullah I became sovereign over the Kingdom of Jordan. And oversight of the Muslim holy sites in Mecca was shifted to those in Jerusalem.

My time on the Temple Mount was pretty docile. It was empty and barren and early in the morning, and that's fine with me. That's some excitement I can live without. Highlights included viewing the Eastern Gate from the inside, and knowing that Jesus' in coming through that way, even though it's been sealed for years and years. We left the location through the Sheep Gate or Stephen's Gate, the place where it is possible that Stephen was stoned, and walked down a hill to catch our bus.

As we walked, I paused to take a picture, and met a very little ancient woman carrying some bags. Her wrinkled fingers, her stooped shoulders, I can only imagine her story. She stopped me and asked if I could help here carry her bags down the hill. I peeked inside and saw the largest grapes I've ever seen in my life! It was a heavy bag for such a little lady. I asked her how long she had lived in Jerusalem. She replied, "All my life. 79 years." When we parted at the bottom of the hill, she mentioned that she was going on to pray at the church of Mary Magdelene.

Mount of Olives: Getting there is tricky, you drive through a densely Arab populated area, and the difference in the atmosphere is palpable. The top of the Mount has a shrine we didn't stop at. Israel is filled with shrines! Why is it that Christians tend to want to build a building, a statue, and something to replace the intensity of The Person?

We walked through an OLD cemetery, which according to Jewish law is located "outside the city." From the Mount of Olives you a great view of the Eastern Gate and all of Jerusalem for that matter. Being there in that place and calling to mind it's future destiny as a Mount that will split in two is a bit overwhelming. And looking at these old graves and wondering who's coming out of them as Jesus makes His procession across the valley and through the closed Eastern Gate you see just to the right of the gold Dome.

Gethsemene: Located halfway down the Mount of Olives, it's quite a hike. They presume this to be the location, because it's a known location of an ancient olivepress which is what "gethsemene" means. There are olive trees there which are so old! But because olive trees don't have age rings like other tree variaties, it's difficult to determine their age, but they say it's possible that these trees are over 2000 years old and may have been the very trees beneath which Jesus prayed.

Ben Yehuda Street is a modern walking street in city center of Jerusalem. It's got great shops and restaurants, and we stopped here for a bit to get some souveneirs and pizza. Since everything in Jerusalem is kosher, there's no pizza with meat because it is unlawful to mix meat and dairy based on the passage about not boiling a kid in its mother's milk. So we had cheese only pizza.

The Upper Room is not actually the upper room. It wasn't constructed until the Byzantine period, but it's located in a place they believe could have possibly been the location of the upper room. This is common with most Christian holy places in Jerusalem. A Thousand years ago, some shrine was built on the location of what could have possibly been a probable location of something-or-other. And more opportunities for postcards. Nevertheless, we all prayed in tongues with another group of evangelicals in the "upper room" and exhorted one another that "greater works than these shall ye do."

Succat Hallel: otherwise known as the Jerusalem House of Prayer. The location of the house of prayer is awesome! It's right across a very significant valley looking right upon the Old City Walls. You can clearly see the Jaffa Gate from the overlook. When our group arrived, a guy who was quite the proficient piano player was on the baby grand in Liberacci-style Charismatic-Jewish worship. Some of our group collapsed in fatigue, but it was a very wonderful time.

Food: a note about the food; In Israel, you will eat lots of hummus, chicken, falafel, goopy colored chutneys, and bread.

After a day our touring, I was exhausted! I slept through the service to wake up in time to be back at Succat Hallel for my two-hour session at midnight. When I awoke and headed out to find my team, I discovered that many of them had bailed out including Jonny Nash, whose idea I believe it was to do a midnight set. Nevertheless, James and Sean Mac came, exhausted though we were, and we had an amazing time. I will never be able to adequately describe that moment, but there is a signficance to it that will linger in my memory, possibly forever.

Practically, sound system was wonderful! I started at Better is One Day and ended up in Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades. In between, we hit topics through Isaiah of Jesus coming first as the humble Servant completely unrecognized, but also of His second return as the Lion roaring from Zion. It was awesome. I also did Jordan Johnson's song, Preserve Me which I've been loving recently, along with my recent spontaneous "Man looks on the Outside" ditty. We all were tired, but fulfilled and totally connected with the Nightwatch team there. I'd definitely go to Jerusalem again to the HOP!