Nihon Signs: Joe's Asian Adventure

Traveling Kidney Salesman

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sat, 27 Feb 2016 14:45:00 +0000

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In which an age-old question is explored, economics moves a man to tears and the life or death nature of graph theory is revealed.

“Why do I need to know this?”

When a pupil asks me that, they rarely want to know what the practical application of some abstract maths is. They want a reason to not to do it. The question itself is more generally an expression of “ I don’t like this, there better be a good reason to be doing it” or “I hope I don’t have to know this”.

The question itself has led me to a huge rant in the past: you probably don’t need to know this bit of mathematics. You don’t need to know anything beyond how to breathe and nourish your body. You have a choice to sit where you are, knowing and learning nothing. “What’s my name?” You don’t need to know. You can sit, in a pile of mud, appreciating nothing of human society, endeavor, technology and progress, steadfastly refusing all knowledge lest it clog up the workings of your spotless and vacant mind.

Do you want £100? Nope. What do I need a pound for? I’m not in a shop. Knowledge is like free money. If someone offers it to you, take it and thank them. You can spend it later.

Ahem.

The question is more easily answered preemptively by talking the applications through, making the maths accessible, and building trust that I know what I’m doing. Telling them how the maths is used is only one part of this, but discussing public key encryption or the mating habits of insects before working on prime numbers is often the highlight of my day.

Bear with me.

This all springs from listening to this fine podcast: http://freakonomics.com/podcast/ask-not-what-your-podcast-can-do-for-you/

I like economics, though I am far from being an expert. If you have never listened to the Freakonomics podcast, I can’t recommend it enough. The books are also fantastic. This episode stands out though, as an instance in which the application of maths moved the presenter to tears. I may have had a little moment in the car too.

https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travelling_salesman_problem

The maths behind all this is some fairly abstract graph theory; there is a summary of the problem outline above. A few months ago Alvin Roth, a Nobel prize-winning economist, was on the show. He has developed a way to match up homeowners and tenants so that people can more easily move house. It is a special case of the Traveling Salesman problem. It turns out that because the solution applies to the exchange of single items without money changing hands, it also applies to kindey donations. On hearing this, one listener decided to give up a kidney, as the process is much more efficient if you have a ‘seed’ property (or kidney) that doesn’t require matching.

The application may not have be revealed immediately, but the abstract nature of maths means, usually, if you solve one problem you solve countless (literally!) others at the same time.

But please, go and listen to (or read the transcript of) the episode. It really is quite emotional. The fact that a piece of maths that started out as a puzzle in the 1800s is now saving many, many lives is just a bonus.

---------------

Hello

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Tue, 26 Jan 2016 20:12:00 +0000

Hello

Somewhere, a new year is starting.

I’m Joe. I teach for a living, and I like learning.

It is my goal to write at least once per month with a 27^th of the month deadline. I’ve kept a blog before and found weekly blogging to be too much. It meant I had very little left to say to people who read my blog.

I teach maths. I occasionally love it but I am not a gifted mathematician. It is definitely useful, and sometime beautiful. Lots of people hate it, but it’s only because they don’t know it like I do. I used to hate maths.

I like running. Running makes me better and cures most of the real ingrained problems I have. It makes me nicer, makes me feel more and think less. Running is going to feature heavily.

I like lifting large objects and putting them back down again. I actually like going to the gym and lifting weights. I find it invigorating and calming by turns, and I like feeling strong.

I like Japan. I liked it so much I lived there for nearly 4 years, and part of it will always be with me. I don’t just mean the part in my metal tooth.

As far as I can tell, the first few posts here might be rough around the edges.

I like to think I make an effort to get better at things. I am currently reading too many books and I am not going to buy any more until I’’ve read the five or so that have been opened. I prefer one fiction and one non-fiction at a time.

I listen to podcasts a lot. It is a habit that suits a long-distance runner and a former public-transport commuter. I have a car now, but I hope to cycle more and drive less when the weather improves. One day I’ll tell you about my cheap bike and why not to buy one.

I like cooking and own too many cooking gadgets. I occasionally am consumed by obsession for a single thing and then spend hours mastering it. This is why I can make an excellent roast dinner. I like research.

I like coffee. Good coffee. I think I’nstant coffee’ is a lie on two fronts.

I like comedy. Laughing is good. Making other people laugh is a gift .

I hope this is worthwhile. You know enough now to decide if this is your thing.

*This is a cross post: I will find a more permanent home for this soon*

Preparing to go

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Mon, 03 Aug 2015 12:11:00 +0000

It's the day before I travel so instead of actually doing what needs to be done, I'm writing this.

I found this little post while looking for Italian language courses online:

5 Awesome Things To Listen To On Spotify That Isn’t Music

I was already a big fan of the stand up comedy on Spotify, but the language learning app seemed like it would be incredibly useful. It would, but it seems that Spotify have stopped the app integration. Still, I did manage to find this Italian Radio 105 Playlist, by one of Italy's more popular radio stations. There's a lot of English language songs on there (good old cultural Imperialism) but there's a lot of decent Italian music on there too. No, it's not all Joe Dolce or Lou Monte. I'm a fan of this song: Gli Immortali. I do like a bit of local culture, and it's good to get my ears used to the language before I go. I also used Pocket Casts to find this Let's speak italian language course, but my usage has been low.

I've got hold of an Italian phrasebook app, the expedia app for itineraries, updated my phone tariff to include international data on the cheap (at £2 per day for the trip, I might find an Italian SIM while I'm there.).

I think I'm sorted now and I'm going to have to actually pack my bag now. Next update will hopefully be from Florence, or maybe Amsterdam if I get bored during the stopover.

Planning a trip to Florence

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sun, 02 Aug 2015 17:43:00 +0000

久しぶり
It's been a very, very long time since I wrote anything here. I'm off to Florence and I wanted to record some of the trip, and the planning. Exciting times.

So far I've bought this rather excellent blank guide book, to sit alongside the Tokyo one when I get back. It's nice to have a travel diary as well as somewhere to store the things I've taken from other guides.

I've been learning Italian on duolingo, which is excellent, and free. The only problem is that I have not really committed to it as much as I could have. My Italian is far from belissimo, and I may just tell everyone that the cat drinks water (and the monkey is in the tree).

One new thing I've done is start to add landmarks in to my running watch. I have a Suunto Ambit and I've put the things I want to visit including the hotel on there to hopefully prevent me getting lost. I have little to no sense of direction, so this will be my external, electronic one.

Thataway

It's been an awful lot easier to plan this trip than any trip in Japan, simply because all the information is available in English. I've managed to arrange a gluten-free cooking class (my travelling -and life- companion is coeliac), and pre-book museum tickets. None of these required a translator.

What is very exciting (apart from the things above) is that I'll get to meet up with two friends that I met in Japan. I haven't seen them for years, it's going to be brilliant.

See you soon.

On a train

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sun, 18 Aug 2013 17:06:00 +0000

I’m sat on a train at one of my least favourite places in the world: Warrington Bank Quay railway station. I once lost a filling here. I’ve spent hours waiting for delayed trains at Warrington Bank Quay. Luckily, this train passes through unhindered and makes its escape northwards. I quickly lick the surface of my teeth. All fillings in tact.

I’ve decided to go to Edinburgh. Depending on perspective this is either something I have been planning for years, or a last minute decision. It’s mostly the latter.Lamenting the fact that I had once again missed the Fringe and vowing to definitely go next year, it suddenly struck me that I could go this year. A quick Facebook conversation and an even quicker booking and I was set to go.

It’s probably going to mean that I miss GCSE results day in school on Thursday. I would really like to be there and I might come back on Wednesday evening so that I can go, but then again I might not. There isn’t much to actually do on results day, other than reassure people and show my face. I don’t think my not being there would hurt anyone too much.

I am going alone. This has made me a bit self-conscious, and I am feeling a bit anxious about it. The good kind of anxious, the kind that means I am doing something a bit odd, but that will be a learning experience however it goes.Solitude is a good excuse to write about what I’m up to along the way. I have travelled solo before, but that was mainly as a foreign man in a foreign land

I’ve been to Edinburgh before too. It was where I ran my first marathon (of two). I’m staying at the same youth hostel: Caledonian Backpackers. I’ve bought running gear and I’m planning a few morning runs to get my bearings and plan the day.

If I arrive in time to catch a show this evening, then that will be the subject of the next post. If not, it’ll be about my first run. See you then.

Japan: odd.

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Fri, 21 May 2010 09:24:00 +0000

This morning, I had to pick my bike up from the bus stop before work. While I was doing this, I got chatting to an old man with a really thick “old man” accent. I could barely make out a single consonant. I think he said something about today being a work day for me, and a ‘play day’ for him. He had a small dog in his bike basket, and he kept stopping the ‘conversation’ to trim its hair with a pair of scissors. I say conversation, I was rummaging through his monologue like a vegetarian picking the meat out of a stew. “Neighbourhood”, he said, in Japanese. I agreed.

At lunch everyone had an animal pancake. These were labelled “hot cakes” and were served cold. Everyone got their own animals, mine was a zebra. Part of the lunch was spinach and crushed peanuts. There was cheese, wrapped in pumpkin and breadcrumbs, deep fried on the side.

On my way to elementary school, I saw three old ladies sat barefoot on a tatami mat they had placed on the side of the road, wearing bonnets and eating bananas. At the dry cleaners, I was asked for my contact details so that a friend of the woman working there could take me out to dinner and learn English from me.

And none of this seemed at all out of the ordinary until I saw the picture above on this blog http://jadij.blogspot.com/2010/04/lets-enjoy-japanese-me-myself-and-i-and.html and thought about what happened to me today.

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 23:27:00 +0000

This morning I had to get a taxi to work. It doesn't happen often,
even less often on days as sunny as today. This morning I needed one
though. After phoning 'the man' for approval, I got my taxi.
Japanese taxis have little trays inbetween the front seats, for the
paying of the money. There was 750 yen sat on it when I got in to the
taxi. I didn't call attention to it, just took advantage of taxi time
to look at google reader and twitter.
I got to school barely in time, at 2 minutes to 8 o'clock. I handed
over the 10,000 yen note which confused the driver more than it ought
to. He started doing maths on a piece of paper. The fare was 1880 yen,
so it wasn't that hard- 8120 change. But, of course, he thought the
750 yen was mine, I explained that it was in the taxi when I got in.
He nodded, agreed, and carried in doing what he was doing.
I must have told him four or five different times, in different ways,
that the 750 yen was not mine before accepting defeat and just taking
the 8870 change he was offering me. I'll give it to charity or
something. His receipt printer wasn't working either.
Needless to say, I was late for work.

Joe (sent from my phone)

Tsunami Alert: Elevated.

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 13:55:00 +0000

This is what a tsunami warning sounds like in japan:

Not very impressive.

It’s about the same noise that happens when there is a fire within the local city-ward area.

In Okinawa they played an evacuation announcement in English

This is what the telly looked like

I live on the right, in the orangey-warning bit. However, I knew little of this because I was in Tokyo all day. Mostly watching the marathon. Partly doing some shopping. I’m pretty tired now, but I reckon the tsunami warning should definitely be this.

No prizes for guessing how to say ‘tsunami’ in Japanese.

Flipper

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:51:00 +0000

Today is 100 yen day at the supermarket. This means that for today (and tomorrow) a load of things that would usually cost just over 100 yen, cost 100 yen. By custom and practice this is the day I visit the supermarket. The vegetables are cheap and they put extra sushi out. And they have bananas.

I was going to write a blog about the whole ‘100 yen day experience’, but that will have to wait because today there was something pretty mental on sale: dolphin.

Dolphin.

Yep, dolphin. I had to double check and looked it up in my phone’s dictionary (Kotoba for iPhone – it’s amazing and it’s free). There, on the shelf was a lump of dolphin.

I was briefly tempted, but I decided not to buy and went with chicken instead.

Om nyom nyom. Did anyone else find themselves wanting to sing “flipper the bush kangaroo” to this theme tune?

All the twos

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:21:00 +0000

Apologies for typos as I have about 2 minutes to write this.

2010 is the 22nd year in the current emperor’s reign in Japan. That makes this the year Heisei 22.

Today is, therefore 22/2/22 and in 2 minutes it will be 22:22 in Japan.

Just thought I’d share

New Year’s Resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 03:39:00 +0000

Yep, mid February. Exactly the right time to be talking about new year’s resolutions. Topical.

I owe you two blog posts this week, internet. One of my resolutions for 201o was to blog every week. Last weekend I was out in Tokyo and unavailable for blogging duties. This is mostly an excuse. I could have blogged if I’d really tried. I haven’t kept any of my new years resolutions, except for the one that really mattered.

I am not a fan of new year’s resolutions. New year’s eve is rubbish. I don’t like it. Any day is the first day of a new year. Any second. A year is just a 365 day period. Celestial mechanics already has enough control of our lives as it is (I’m thinking more ‘weak anthropic principle’ than ‘astrology’, even less of ‘a bunch of guys over-charging the universe for maintaining the heavens’). New Year’s Day could be any day of the year and quite a few cultures go to great lengths to prove this, the Chinese waited a full 2-and-a-bit months before having their New Year’s Day, just to show the decadent west the value of self control. Like the guy who waits for everyone else to go to the buffet table first, while basking in a glow of his own moral superiority. I am not that guy. Nor am I Chinese. Coincidence? Yes.

So as tick moves to tock and new calendars come in to use, I am unimpressed. Numbers aren’t that significant to me. This might seem odd given my maths background, but I’m pretty sure farmers don’t have any special love for pets, either. I tend to avoid making new years resolutions. I started running in July, and that would count as a new year rez but for the timing.

Back to the point. This year I admitted defeat. I made a list. A list of 10 things. 10 things to do in 2010. So far, I have done none of them. Except number 0. The magic ingredient. The special sauce. I’ve written down my list of 10 things in my year planner, then at the end of the month I go back to this list, update it, change it, remove things, add things, reflect on it, set targets for the next month, whatever. This has made a difference. There are now 11 things on the list, and the order has changed, as have a lot of the things-to-do.

‘ Blog every week’ was the only constantly ticked box until last week. I’m pretty sad that I didn’t keep it. I will make sure it doesn’t happen again. To make up for the hiccup, I’m going to write two posts this week. Then I’m going to start writing general blog posts and hold off publishing them until I need to. A backup plan. It’s always nice to have a backup plan.

Enemy at the Genkan

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 12:37:00 +0000

This week some crazy women left a book at my house. I answered the door last Sunday wearing a dressing gown. This didn’t discourage them at all. I told them I couldn’t speak much Japanese, and read even less. They helpfully suggested that I ask someone to read it for me. They told me that it was an important book. I took it from me, and I had ‘Standard Japanese Conversation #1’ , which goes like this: I am asked where I am from, explain what a ‘Wales’ is and how is isn’t England, oh no, my Japanese isn’t really that good, you really are too kind, I’ll study more, yes, an English teacher, yes, three elementary schools and one junior high school, I’m here for work, Japanese culture, yes I can eat sushi, ho ho ho. That is mental isn’t it, us crazy foreigners eating food and doing jobs. What will we think of next?

To be fair, society is quite ritualised in general and it isn’t just us foreigners that go through the same conversation every time we meet someone new. Japanese people meeting for the first time will inevitably have the same conversation, with a slightly different twist (they won’t be asked if they can eat sushi). Pleasantries over and the two ladies depart for the next hapless victim, never to be seen again.

Until yesterday. Sadly, not in my dressing gown, but wearing a rather slapdash trackies-and-hoodie ensemble ( I was cleaning the kitchen at the time). I explained in Japanese that I hadn’t read the book, so there really wasn’t anything to discuss about it. They asked when I thought I would have read the book. I didn’t want to disappoint. I had no intention of reading the book. It is a lengthy tome with a sunset on the front (which is where the back of a western book would be, crazy Japaneses!) , what looks like an assembly on the back (front) and pictures within that include a monk, a comet over mount Fuji and a few beaches. They asked what time tomorrow I would be free. I said ‘the afternoon’, fully intending to be out.

Unfortunately I was in, and watching the last scene of the Sopranos with Mr. Michael Crimmins who lives across the car park and has less trouble explaining that he is from England. He seems to have avoided these ladies by not speaking Japanese to them. Swings and roundabouts though: his place is often frequented by Jehovah's witnesses and he has quite the back catalogue of Japanese Watchtowers. No matter how lapsed, I am always a Catholic when the Jehovah's come a-knocking.

Knocking at the door. We left youtube running and quietly ignored their knocks and cries for attention. We exchanged glances and laughed at the absurdity of the situation. Then something totally unexpected happened: they opened my door. Mental.

This is less rude in Japan than it would be at home. In olden times, the threshold of the home was the end of the ‘genkan’ (entrance bit where you take off your shoes), and psychologically you don’t really enter the house until you step up to the interior floor in your socks. Still, it’s a bit rude to open the door of someone’s house that you don’t know.

There was much giggling and shouts of “Joe-san!” (my name is on my door). This lasted a good few minutes. At a few points I looked for headphones to put on and wander out of the room we were in, ‘notice’ them and apologise. But there were no headphones.

I’m sure they heard us, but after an excruciatingly long minute-or-so, the door started to creak shut. We were hopeful, but they were just checking the name on the door and started anew shouting “COOPER-san!”. Michael and I were laughing (silently) and exchanging looks of disbelief. At this point it was definitely better to wade on through the pool of silliness to the other side, rather than turn back. “SUMIMASEN”s were shouted, and eventually a hopeful “Hello!” just in case I was in, but didn’t understand enough Japanese to realise that there were two mad women shouting in my genkan. I was tempted to prance out and loudly exclaim that suddenly I could hear them. I didn’t. I toyed with the idea of pretending to have woken from a nap, but there were two of us here and questions would be asked.

Eventually the women left, I locked the door and they all lived happily every after.I am certain they will be back. I’m going to have to find out what this book is about. Even if that does mean the terrorists win.

Potattcho!

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 05:14:00 +0000

I had decided not to drink. Unfortunately there was a school enkai on Friday with a 5000 yen cover charge. This included unlimited drinkies. I could have been sensible. I could’ve stuck with soft drinks. I didn’t. It seemed wasteful to not take up the offer of unlimited drinks.

So, Saturday morning rolled around and I headed to the supermarket, slightly dazed and feeling pretty sorry for myself. I spotted these:

Crispy potato chips coated with mild chocolate!! Enjoy the perfect match of potato and chocolate

Hangover in Japanese is ‘futsukayoi’ 二日酔い, the second day of intoxication. Not as good as the German word: Katzenjammer, the wailing of cats. If you go shopping with a hangover in Japan, you’re coming home with some crap. I came home with Potattcho.The idea of chocolate covered crisps was too much for my pickled brain to resist.

They weren’t disgusting. Imagine pringles with a thick layer of chocolate on top. That’s exactly what these were. Ready salted pringles covered in cocolate on the top, salt on the bottom. If you turned them upside down the opposite was true. I ate them all, they didn’t make me feel good about myself in any way.

Reflections

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 02:04:00 +0000

Last night I watched Lost in Translation, not for the first time. The first time i watched the film was in my university days, sat on a bed in Fallowfield. I’d never been to Japan, but I was interested in going there. I watched it again after spending a few months in Japan, and I could really appreciate the film, having felt the loneliness and dependence on others you feel when spending a few days in a country where you can’t speak the language, where everything is bewildering and new. I could relate to the characters, I could see how accurate the film was.

This time I watched the film and got a few more of the jokes (being able to understand what the Japanese people were saying). It reminded me of what I felt arriving here and spending a week in a hotel in Asakusa (Tokyo) without a clue of what was going on. It showed me what I’d gained by being able to understand more of the language and culture here. The scenes on location in Tokyo didn’t make me think “wow, that is crazy”, but did recall times I had spent in Tokyo, both good and bad. It wasn’t all positive though. Life is a lot of fun as an outsider in a surreal land where nobody speaks your language. Learning the ways of the land robs you of that .

Overall, I’m glad to have a deeper understanding of what things are like in Japan. To realise that this isn’t just some mad country with video games, sushi, pachinko and ninjas any more than the UK is a country obsessed with royalty, fish & chips and tea. Both are places where normal people just get on with their lives against a backdrop of a shared and inherited culture.

This week I started my JLPT level 2 studies. I’m following an eight-week course to prepare me for the JLPT level 2. It’s pretty hard-going, but if I can stay the course I’ll really improve my Japanese ability. The JPT is changing this year, with new levels and specifications. The books were written with the old exam in mind, but they should still do me a lot of good. I’ve also done a bit of running, but not as much as I’d like. I hope to do a bit more this week.

On Friday we went out for drinks around Doai (the town I live in), but the friendliness of the residents of Doai and a lack of drinking-time legislation means I was out a lot later than was good for me. As a consequence I got very little done yesterday. It was a lesson learned though, and I’m going to be alcohol-free for the 8 weeks of the exam prep course. Easier said than done, I know.

Next week should involve a lot of studying, a Japanese wake and funeral and some running. See you next time.

Death and Kit Kats

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 08:07:00 +0000

Today has been weird. I know I said I’d be blogging weekly, and I still intend to keep that up, I think it’s important that I write about what happened today while it’s still fresh in my mind. I’d had quite a rough weekend, but I knew that my troubles paled into insignificance when compared with, for example, the people of Haiti (just a quick note to those following the blog in Japan – you can give money to Haiti at combinis (convenience stores), the collection boxes are next to the tills (see below) – note: not all of them have the colourful decoration on the top).

But, yeah, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself over the weekend. I cheered myself up with comedy on youtube. Sean Lock is ace.
On with today.
In between first and second ~~period~~ lesson one of the JTEs (see the last post for acronym juice) asked me if I’d heard the news. In the conversation that followed I learned that one of the teachers in the school had died suddenly of liver failure over the weekend. I’m a bit ashamed to say that I couldn’t put a face to the name straight away.
I have no real excuse but I know only about half of the teachers I come in to contact with by name. In the beginning it was really tough to remember Japanese names, what with having no experience to connect to the name. When someone says there name is John Smith, they go on the mental pile of Johns, Smiths, and people named after beer.

Not so with mister Yoshizawa. I ummed and ahhed about whether to use his actual name in the blog. If I don’t tell you whether I did or not, then it doesn’t really matter. Japanese names were difficult to remember when I first got here, but they shouldn’t be so bad now. I knew that I knew all of the teachers who I had met recently because I’ve got better at remembering Japanese names. At first mention, I had the guy to within two or three people. Given that one of them was sitting across from me, I could further eliminate him from my inquiry. A few more questions and I knew who it was.

I don’t mean to make light of the situation or show disrespect by the above remarks. That is what happened as it happened. To say otherwise would be to lie. If I had been shown a picture of the guy I would have known him instantly and been able to tell you about him. He was young (32), which adds to the surreal nature of the news. I knew there were foods he had to avoid, so he must’ve been ill for a while. I’d spoken with him quite a few times (he was an occasional maths assistant so we had things to talk about, and he was one of the few teachers that went out of their way to speak English to me when I first arrived) and he was a properly nice guy. I promise I’m not just saying that.

While this is neither the most eloquent or fitting eulogy, I needed to write it. RIP. I’m not sure if I’ll get invited to the funeral, as I don’t know how that works here.

When I got home Kumi (the original photographer of the Haiti box picture above, company ‘helper’, and surrogate mother to all us ALTs) had left me a surprise package containing Kit-Kats and an iPhone case as a late birthday gift and thank you gift for some Soreen I had given her in December. This was a nice addition to the day and did much to lighten my mood. Big thanks.

First week back at work

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 04:23:00 +0000

Monday was coming-of-age day, which is celebrated by those turning 20 (the legal age of majority in Japan) during the current tax year (April-March) . Celebrations are usually a ceremony at the city hall followed by drinking. Everyone else just gets the day off. If I were in a big city might have seen some ceremonies or at least the aftermath, but there was no evidence of ascendance to adulthood on the streets of Doai. Mike, Steve and I went down to the pool hall in Choshi in the evening (Choshi is the nearest city, about 8 miles from home) for a few games of pool and electronic darts. Electronic darts is much more common than proper darts around these parts. It’s like the toy darts games you might find in Argos, attached to an arcade machine. You can watch a video of it here .

I was back to work on Tuesday. You forget how odd it is working somewhere where nobody speaks fluent English. The English teachers have a go, to their credit, but often fall short. I’ve been speaking natural, native-level English over the break and haven’t readjusted to J-English* so there have been a few bumps in the road. I’m resisting the temptation to use J-English in school because it’s important that the kids (and teachers) get a feel for the language outside of the textbook. I was supposed to be seeing Muse in Tokyo on Tuesday evening but I couldn’t get the time off work on Wednesday morning so I had to cancel. Rain stopped me from running too, so it was a bit of a rubbish day. I did get some good Italian food with my girlfriend though, so all was not lost.

Wednesday is 100 yen day in the local supermarket so I filled up on vegetables, meat and bananas, all for 100 yen each. The sushi from there is pretty good too. I made myself some Nabe for dinner, which was amazing. I’ll be writing a bit more about Japanese food in the coming weeks, bit for now, nabe is a kind of one-pot soupy stew. Here’s the wikipedia entry. I did manage a 3-and-a-half mile run after work too, which was nice. Good to get back into the swing of things. I was slow though, really feeling the time off and the extra food eaten over Chrimbo making a difference.

I was back in elementary school on Wednesday, which is always a lot of fun. The young kids enthusiastic and a joy to teach. They seem to get a lot out of the lessons too. Schools are changing from an ALT*-does-everything model to one where I do less and the HRT* does more. I’d rather be in charge of the whole thing, but I understand why the elementary schools are moving in this direction and my job is to help them do it. I have a meeting on Friday after school to talk about plans with the teachers. I’d cycled to school on Wednesday which felt pretty good too. I’ve got a nice routine going here. Wednesday evening was spent watching the Sopranos at my house. We completely finished the series, and it was good to see the other guys’ reactions as the credits rolled.

Thursday morning was an easy affair. The 1st years are skiing and the 3rd years have tests so I have only the 2nd year students to deal with this week. I’ve had time to look at and plan my JLPT level 2* study which starts in earnest next Monday. Thursday afternoon was my first day at the elementary school near the gym. I love that school. The kids are fantastic, and they really love English lessons. Mike and I went to Tokyo with the teachers a few months ago too, it was fun but they are a bit mental. After school was some gym action with Steve. Steve’s a good guy to have at the gym, he really knows his stuff.

Friday followed the same pattern: morning at JHS* and afternoon at ES*. The after-school meeting finished early, which was a nice bonus. I had a dentist appointment at half 5, which was really annoying because I was there for about 10 minutes and told to come back in a week, 2500 yen out of pocket. They really like dragging things out, and hate me asking what they plan to do to my teeth. I’m not a well-behaved, complicit Japanese citizen. But I’ve seen their mouths, they’re full of metal. Some drinks were had on Friday night, after a visit to the kaiten sushi place (a branch of kappa sushi) and the foreign food shop nearby. I bought a tea beer. It was rank.

Which takes us to today. I haven’t done much yet. I’m going for a run in a bit. Then house-cleaning and a meal with the lady. I’m sorry if this post seems as boring to you as it is to me! “I did this, then I did this. It was like this”. Maybe it’s a bit more interesting if it’s not your life you’re reading about. Writing this post has given me some ideas for posts in the coming weeks, and it feels good to get into a routine of writing something every week.

When I was back in the UK, I was asked a few times where in Japan I lived. See below. I was also asked when I would be leaving Japan. I still don’t know. If you have any questions, comments, or dazzling insights, please leave them in the comments below, or get in touch on twitter (I’m @joecooper ). See you next week.

*J-English- lazy shorthand for the subset of the English language spoken my ‘Japanese English Speakers’. It isn’t a proper subset because a lot of words actually have different meanings to a Japanese person because they’ve entered the Japanese language too. For example, a “drama” is a “soap opera” in Japanese. Best not to mention what a “soap” is.

*ALT-Assistant Language Teacher (me)

*JTE- Japanese Teacher of English (junior high school)

*HRT-Home Room Teacher (elementary school)

*JLPT – Japanese Language Proficiency Test. Level 4 is the easiest, level 1 is fluency.

*JHS- Junior High School

*ES – Elementary School

Interrim

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 09:11:00 +0000

First blog post of 2010. Hmmm.

I had a really good time at home over Christmas. A year apart makes you forget what you are missing, and the things you have in exchange. It was great to see my friends and family this year, but for the first time, it really didn’t feel like I was going home. I know this may sound sad, but it was a holiday, not a homecoming. Which isn’t to say that it might never be a homecoming. But this time, it was a break from real life. It didn’t feel like my life anymore.

Aside from jet lag (and I’m running out of time to milk that excuse) and a return to work seen through eyes that haven’t yet adjusted to being back in Japan yet, there isn’t much going on at the moment. Seeing Japan through eyes not yet adjusted to the weirdness is fun, the surreal nature of the experience is often lost through familiarity and I should get a few weeks of wide-eyed bemusement and smiling through the strangeness, which is always fun.

I had to correct a teacher who told me, with some authority, that all they eat in the UK is wieners, pork, beef and eggs. Another Japanese teacher stepped in to correct her (wieners are, of course ‘German’ – it means nothing to me). When I asserted that we ate all sorts of food, including vegetables there was an undercurrent of anger and disbelief. Nobody likes a belief challenged. I couldn’t help but draw parallels with explaining that the Japanese don’t just eat raw fish (delicious, fresh raw fish) but enjoy a fully-developed range of culinary delights.

Both the UK and Japan are islands filled with humans being human on them. The weirdness and difference is superficial. Lecture over

I did my first run of 2o10 today, and I was rubbish. I’m going to go out again on Monday (busy tomorrow) to try for a more acceptable distance. I’m not too fussed about time at the moment, because I’m still feeling a bit rough lung-wise, and all the food over Christmas won’t help.

I’m going to blog more often, and this week with a focus on ‘Life in Japan’ for those back at home. My plan is to do a week-in-the-life blog next Saturday.

2010

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:54:00 +0000

It’s gone far enough. It’s crazy. In little over a month it will be 2010. By all rights 2010 should be in the distant future. In 7 weeks it will be in the present. I wander around with stuff in my pockets that belong in science fiction. I used my phone to watch a film last weekend. Today I used it to play boggle. In-between it has been used to find where my bus stop was, map my run (with speed,distance and elevation stats), find out A.C. Slater’s full name ( Albert Clifford Slater Sanchez) and share a picture of what I was eating with the world. I think I have made four phone calls with it this month. It’s smaller than a guinea pig and better than anything in Star Trek.

I am feeling dislodged from time more keenly at the moment, because I will be going home in a few weeks. I left the UK in August 2007 and have been living mostly on an alien world ever since. In the phone shop last week (when I was trying to get the magical device I mentioned in the last paragraph repaired), an old woman bought a new phone, left the shop, and promptly returned with three cabbages as a thank you gift. I’m fairly sure this has never happened in a Carphone Warehouse

When you go to university, you feel your home-town remains in stasis as you grow in wisdom and knowledge, towering above the mere mortals you left behind, frozen in their unchanging landscapes of familiar experience. It is the arrogance of youth, and the cramming of inexperienced berks into a society that values inexperienced berks who have read books above all else that produces this effect. Leaving the country feels like you are the one frozen while the world at home changes at an unforgiving pace. Of course, neither of these are true. Change is everywhere. You can’t step in the same river once.

This year, I’m quite looking forward to the new changes, to being the bewildered alien, the traveller stepping out of his time machine into a world of morelocks, zavvis and lady gagas. I might spend my final few months in Japan (whenever they may be…) in complete news isolation, for the sheer joy of having my friends explain in detail what new mundanities clutter up the cultural landscape when I return. Because if science fiction is missing anything, it’s the quotidian.

There is no facebook in aliens. In space, nobody can hear you tweet.

Actually, there is an astronaut on twitter. I was following him while he was in space, “tweeting” (the world doesn’t seem grand enough to describe messages FROM SPACE). It was fantastic. I was following the USA elections last year on my magical omni-screen, although I wish I wasn’t- imagine the fun of making a family member explain to me that the man on the telly was the President of the USA. Pull the other one. At one stage, briefly, I didn’t know who the Prime Minister of the UK was (although, I didn’t know that I didn’t know, philosophy fans). Right now, I have heard of a Jedward but my mental image is that of a rhino with two heads and some king of pineapple appendage. Please don’t spoil that image with fact.

Ushiku Daibutsu Videos

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:31:00 +0000

As promised

Enjoy

He ain’t heavy…

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:18:00 +0000

he’s mah Buddha*.

It was a normal Saturday, except none of us had a hangover. We were taking a trip to Ushiku to catch a glimpse of the world’s third tallest statue. We thought it was the tallest, but Wikipedia waded in and smashed our dreams. There are two bigger statues, one in Myanmar and one somewhere in China. So it goes. The Wikipedia check had me dual-wielding iPhones though, geek magic.

The statue is huge (120 metres high ), four times the height of the Statue of Liberty, according to the diagram in the pamphlet. Sadly, the Big Foot of Flint did not feature .

Before getting to the statue we faced some weird, hungry creatures that turned out to be extremely tame fish. Pictures are shown for your enjoyment

I took some pictures of the paintings inside the statue, but sadly they were lost thanks to my stupid phone going mental when the battery was fully discharged. I will be shouting at some Apple/Softbank employees in due course. The loss is greater because they were cartoon-style pictures of naked ladies in a religious setting. They should try them in Holywell to bring in the tourists.

Tacked on to the statue in something less than an afterthought is the Walnut Animal Garden which consisted of a small horse, some very tired wallabies, a pig that smelled horrible and a ‘Field of Rabbits’. Tepid stuff. Along the side of the ‘restaurant’ there was something of an animal freak show with a hairless Guinea pig that looked like a tiny hippo, and a terrified monkey in a bird cage. Sadly the “child who plays with squirrels and rabbits” as advertised in the promotional pamphlet was not there, nor was there a spider baby.

It was a good day out, and I was glad to get out of Doai to do something touristy. We stopped off at a nearby tonkatsu place for lunch/dinner on the way home which was nice too. Big up Ibaraki.

I’m waiting for two vids to show up on Vimeo. They might show up in time to be tacked on to this post, or I might make another one for them. Time will tell…

*-at 4,000 tonnes though, he is quite heavy.

Born to Run

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 04:55:00 +0000

I’ve just got back from my 5km race.

I woke a little later than planned, so I set of by bike to the event. It was better than going by bus, it got my juices flowing. I opted for an audiobook (Dune – Frank Herbert read by Scott Brick , it’s excellent) instead of music for the journey so that I could keep it nice and relaxed. On arrival at the gym I swapped the postcard I had received for a goody bag containing a race T-shirt, race program, my number with an RF chip stapled to it, a bottle of water, a face towel and, naturally, some soy sauce.

(the ‘17th’ here is because this is the 17th time the race has been held, it isn’t a misprint)

I was pleasantly surprised to meet up with some kids and a teacher from Nishi Elementary School and I had a nice chat with them. At 9am it was time for the opening ceremony.It wouldn’t be Japan without one.

First off was the 2 & 3 km race, the parent-and-child race. It was nice to see some of my elementary-school kids there and to cheer them on. The winners finished incredibly quickly. While I was waiting a volunteer medic decided to practice his English on me, and asked me if I’d like a quick blood test. I declined.

Then I was up on the starting line, after a good warm-up stretch. I had been called “broad-minded” because I had heaphones on. It wasn’t a compliment. I hadn’t done any training runs without music so I didn’t fancy starting now. I also liked to make sure runkeeper was running and to get the audio updates from it. I love runkeeper . Both runkeeper and the couch-to-5km running plan were, combined, the reason I was here.

A few months ago when I started the training for this I was useless. I could barely run for a minute. I was running 1 minute, walking 90 seconds. And I was knackered. Today it was 5km, roughly 30 mins, no breaks (read on, dear reader, there was a short break).

Back to the starting line. I waves a “Hello and gambatte” to the pupils and ex-pupils who were there. Ready to run. 5 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute, 10 seconds. Go! I set off, and mucked up the controls to runkeeper and set it to a 2.75km training run. No great disaster, it would just tell me to stop a little early, it would keep monitoring my run. Heart-rate monitor read a respectable 140-something bpm after the first minute and everything was good. There was a minor hiccup when I realised that one of my shoes were untied but it was easily fixed (the short break). I avoided the water pedlars, I’ve found that drinking en route is counter-productive. Maybe if it had been a longer distance. Not much else happened really. I was very pleased when my final song was playing (Bruce Springsteen – Born to run, couldn’t have asked for a better finale from shuffle), I legged it to the end, overtaking two chaps between 7-11 and the end of the run. Seeing the finish line was incredible, and everyone was giving it beans in a very Japanese way cheering us on. It was magical. My RF-ID chip was unceremoniously ripped from my chest by an elementary-school student, I was handed a bottle of water and I went for a ‘little sit down’ before picking up my certificate. Turns out I did it in 29 minutes and 25 seconds, which isn’t bad as a starting point from which to improve. The certificate also informed me that it was 29 degrees Centigrade with a humidity of 78%. Knowledge is power.

So, what next? I’m going to keep training at about 5km for a few weeks to build up some speed then start aiming for a 10km in a few months. Time will tell. I definitely enjoy this a lot more than I thought I would.

I’ll leave you with a map of the route.

Give and Take

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:38:00 +0000

It is a far better thing than to give than to receive

It's mid-term test day. I'm sat reviewing 'giving and receiving' in Japanese, where it is a lot more complicated than it is in English. Japanese has lots of words that indicate status. One doesn't simply "give" to the boss, one "raises" a thing up. Actually, the word "give" in Japanese is あげる (ageru) which also means "raise". The word for giving to a superior is さしあげる (sashiageru) which has a sense of raising twice.
There are corresponding words for receiving, words for juniors, animals and plants, and different words if the person doing the giving isn't oneself.
It's a complicated business, and one that really hammers home status in a way that English doesn't. Of course, you could imply status in English, you could humbly receive, or many other things but you don't have to.It's optional.A teacher once told me that she would "order" me to mark some work, which raised some hairs on my back until I realised this would be an acceptable turn of phrase in Japanese. I was younger, newer to the school, etc. Didn't stop it being annoying.

Brothers and sisters are another difference between Japanese and English. In Japanese it is difficult and rare to say "sister" or "brother" without making it clear whether they are older or younger.I have been cautioned against the assumption that a language's characteristics mirror those of the society that speaks it. Certainly, it isn't universally true, but it seems to hold in this case. People adapt languages to their needs (which is why Orwellian Newspeak is a waste of effort), and Japanese is especially suited to making you acutely aware of position.

I've been listening to Dune on audiobook again, which always brings out the sociologist in me.
It's good to have an idea-ramble, a woolgathering, now and then.

On the subject of giving and receiving, the school is in swine flu (shingatainfuruenza - "new type 'flu" wouldn't want anyone avoidig pork) hysterics at the moment. Far better to neither give nor receive that. Everyone is wearing masks (with the noticeable excptions of myself and the school principal) which, as I've said before, are as effective against the 'flu as chain-link fencing is against mosquitoes. I am following the regular hand washing and gargling regime though. I need to be fit for my race on Sunday.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I'm running 5k on Sunday, and I'm pretty chuffed about it. I'm not expecting to finish first (last is far more likely) but I am expecting to finish. I've just about got my stamina up to 5km-levels so after this milestone race, I'll be trying to build up a bit of speed. Then on to 10km by February. It's weird, but I'm enjoying myself running. Never thought that would happen.
Next up after that is my second attempt at JLPT level 3. I'm pretty confident but I took a hammering in a practice test so I'm setting some time aside to really make sure I know what I'm doing. The test is on 6th December. Then it'll be time to get ready fo Chrimbo. I'm really looking forward to a trip home, I've een missing home a lot and it'll be good to see eeryone again.
Best get back to the books.

A Blog Post about Blog Posts: a postmodern blog blog bloggity blog blog blog bolg.

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:08:00 +0000

Sometimes I find myself reading other people’s blog posts and I’m humbled by the emotion and honesty I find there. I have just read this http://documental.ly/graham-wiseman

I am grateful that someone would open this window on their life and let me in (and you, if you click the link) for a few minutes. Silly videos and multimedia links are no substitute for honest, well-wrought words. While I am on the subject of humbling blogs, have a look at this blog http://lifeinlimpopo.blogspot.com/ in which Shivani ( a girl I knew when she was a first-year medical student) and her husband are working as doctors in Africa. That’s right, I know real grown-up people who are married and save people’s lives in Africa and everything.

I meant to write a blog post about Thailand. Thailand was fun, I have notes and things, and in the shambolic tradition of this blog, it will probably all be written up in a few months when anyonewho wanted know about my holiday will already know more than they wish to. I can confirm that I rode an elephant.

And I’m left living life in Japan. On Friday, after taking full advantage of the local culture by sitting in the house watching the Sopranos and drinking whisky with Michael and Stephen, I was getting ready to go to bed when there was a knock on my door. Michael had returned, and it seemed the next door neighbour had caused a ruckus in the night.

Not wanting to cast aspersions, I want to make it clear that I have no actual evidence that Michael’s neighbour arrived drunk after midnight, drove his car into Michael’s water main several times then ran into his house pretending to be asleep.

However, the car was ‘parked’ in a very slapdash manner next to a burst water pipe spewing water all over the place. A few investigations and cursory turning of levers and we had succeeded in turning of Michael’s gas, hot water and other internal necessities, but not in stemming the flow of water. A quick ‘pin-pon’ on the door and we were greeted by the offender’s wife. Once again, I would like to make it clear that the offender has not taken a blood-alcohol test and it would be wrong of me to pretend that he had. Wife came to the door and I asked her what had happened. “Chotto matte”, she said and returned to the house, where here husband was pretending to sleep.

Japanese houses afford little privacy, especially with the shutters and curtains open with the lights on at midnight. The guy wasn’t sleeping. He eventually came out, slurred his speech, apologised lots and promised to call the handyman the next morning. He also re-parked the car, and in doing so managed to achieve by accident what we had been trying to do earlier. There was a crunch as the car went over the water main again and the water stopped.

True to his word, the man called the handyman and the water main is fixed. Not the most exciting, heart-warming or life-changing blog post ever, but it was honest.

Still a Tourist

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 11:14:00 +0000

I’ve been in Japan a full 2 years now.

I have an American friend who has been in Japan a lot longer. He is also an English teacher. He helped out with a sports club at this school for years. Suddenly, the coach told him he couldn’t come to a game with the team. When he offered to drive himself, he was told not to. They had an email conversation in which the teacher released a torrent of resentment at him. He didn’t come to every game. He acted like the head coach. She didn’t ask him to help out. So it goes.

In short, she didn’t want him to come to the club any more. My friend was devastated. He had been helping out for years, and in Japan helping with a sports club isn’t just an hour or so a week, it’s an hour or two after school each day and a few more on Saturdays. He had given a lot to the club and he felt his effort wasn’t appreciated. He also considered this coach one of his best friends in Japan, and felt hurt that she would wait for things to build up to this level before saying anything. He didn’t know anything was wrong, but it was. Later, in school, the teacher acted as if nothing had changed. She didn’t mention it, he didn’t go to the club, and he avoided the question when a member of the club asked why his wasn’t going to the practices any more.

The point is, that this guy who had been in Japan for a long time and was far, far better at Japanese than I, misread a situation and suffered badly because of it.

For the past few months, I have been convinced that the cultural differences between home and Japan are trivial and vastly outweighed by the individual differences between people. This isn’t true. The culture in which one is raised is an important aspect of any personality. I had convinced myself that I had been in Japan long enough that I didn’t have to think about cultural differences at all, that it would come naturally to me. That was very arrogant of me.

So, with new people arriving in Doai, and new things happening all the time, I am going to make sure I pay attention and enjoy myself here. I have had a few ‘wake-up calls’ in the past week or so, not least my trip out of Japan to Thailand (pictures coming soon). I still get a little annoyed when people congratulate me on my ability to use chopsticks or the fact that I slurp my noodles ‘like a Japanese’, but now I can laugh about it.

I mentioned ‘wake-up calls’. I haven’t been myself lately, I’ve been out-of-sorts and I’m not sure why. Normal service has been resumed, however, and Japan has a lot more to offer me. I intend to have fun while I’m here and enjoy the experience again. I had stopped asking questions and being interested in people and things here. No more. That isn’t on.

The video at the start of this blog post is a fat northerner singing someone else’s song. Draw your own conclusions.

Leaving Japan (for a bit)

noreply@blogger.com (クーパー) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 10:08:00 +0000

I’ve had a pretty good summer so far. I have managed to wade through several boxes of former ALTs’ stuff (including Stephen’s, who left Japan 18 months ago), and the house looks pretty respectable.

I have also been running fairly regularly and I’m making good progress: I can go for a good five minutes without stopping. I’m following a nine-week plan, to get up to running 5km, currently clocking in at just over 3km, with a few minutes of walking along the way. The nine-week plan will probably take me a good 12 weeks to finish, but I’m OK with that. After a few weeks of hating it, I’m starting to enjoy my runs now, helped in part by a little program called runkeeper, the same program I have been using to track my cycling for a while. Exercise with graphs and high scores, excellent. It has left me reflecting on my experiences of running at school, and the lessons I can learn from how PE teachers put me off running for a very long time. Those thoughts are saved for a later, education-themed blog post, I think.

There are two new ALTs in the area now, one I have met and one I have not. The one I have met is Steven (Mike, Stephen, Evan, Joe, Josh, Mike, Steven,…) from Canada. He lives up the road. The other ALT breaks with Doai tradition, by being neither called Evan, nor a man. Troublemaker.

I’m off to Thailand tomorrow with m’lady, which should be good. She couldn’t get a lot of time off in August so were only going for a few days, but I’m really looking forward to it. It’ll be nice to get out of Japan for a bit.

I’m not taking anything that will get me online, so there will be no geo-tagged maps or one-day updates along the way. I would have taken my iPhone to make use of hotel WiFi, but it started throwing a tantrum yesterday and won’t connect to WiFi at all, so it can stay at home. It may well need a little trip to the vet once I’m back in Japan.

The neighbour’s dog has just started barking, and my washing machine is also spewing out noise so I’m off to deal with them. Laters, potaters.