Joke

2004-12-16T12:43:00.000-05:00

The couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that there was a wonderful Russian baby boy available. The couple accepted him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.

After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?"

The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby. In a year or so, when he begins to talk, we want to be able to understand him."

The Joke of the Day from http://www.itsajoke.com/

2004-12-15T14:08:00.000-05:00

At 3:00 a.m. the young wife shook her husband awake, telling him to check the baby.
He sat up for a full minute listening, then protested, "But I don't hear her crying."

"I know." she replied, "It's your turn to go see why not!"

The Joke of the Day from http://www.itsajoke.com/

2004-12-14T09:40:00.000-05:00

Q: What three years are most difficult for a frat man?
A: Sophomore year.

The Joke of the Day from http://www.itsajoke.com/

2004-12-13T08:04:00.000-05:00

A 6th grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:
"A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?"

After a very long silence in the classroom, one little boy raised his hand and with complete sincerity in his voice, answered, "A lawyer!"

The Joke of the Day from http://www.itsajoke.com/

2004-12-12T09:53:00.000-05:00

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

The Joke of the Day from http://www.itsajoke.com/

2004-12-11T09:42:00.000-05:00

You Might Be A Hillbilly if...

5. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

4. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.

3. The Salvation Army declined your mattress.

2. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

1. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

2004-12-10T14:26:00.000-05:00

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away.
"Logan, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him.

"I don't have to," the little boy replied.

"Of course you do," his mother insisted, "we say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house," Logan explained, "but this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook."

2004-12-09T22:24:00.000-05:00

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded... "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

And the blonde said "No, from all that skipping."