These are both great questions, especially if you’re a new Believer or if you’re desiring to grow deeper in your walk with Christ.

In my video I share the different Bibles I use and why, and I also give you some tips on the different versions and what to look for when you’re choosing your Bible.

If you can’t view the video in your feed reader, you can watch it here.

Study Bibles come with a plethora of tools, such as maps, topical studies, concordances, as well as commentaries, which is just an overview explaining what the Scriptures mean.  But keep in mind that these commentaries are man’s perspective.

When I was new in the Lord, I appreciated the commentaries because the explanation of the verses helped me, but as I grew deeper in my faith and understanding, I can tell you that I have not always agreed with every commentary that I have read.

The Bible says to,  ”test all things.”  (1 Thes. 5:21)

Also, one thing I forgot to mention in the video is that some Bibles have Christ’s words written in red (but not all of them).  When I was just learning to follow Christ, having Jesus’ words written in red really helped me to follow along in the Word.  Even reading my Bible after all of these years, I still like having a Bible where my Lord’s words leap off the page due to a different color font.  But of course, that’s my preference.  To each his own.

If you’re a new believer in Christ, one Bible that I would highly recommend is The Bible for New Believers.  This is a great Bible if you’re just starting out on your Christian journey!  I would have loved this Bible when I was a new Believer because it explained so many basic things of the Christian faith but it wasn’t available back then.

Also, I said in the video that I didn’t think my study Bible was still in print, but I was wrong.  I found one at www.CBD.com.

So what’s your favorite Bible translation?  And do you have a favorite study Bible?  I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Live a poured out life for Christ,

I’m linking up with: Women Living Well, and The Better Mom.

The post How to Choose a Bible & the Bible I Use appeared first on Jolene Engle @ The Alabaster Jar.

I’m heading down the path of traditional publishing for my books.  I realize that some reading this may say I might make more money in book sales if I self-publish.  Perhaps that’s true, but money is not my motivation.  What propels me to do this is to get God’s message out to as many women as possible.  I believe that if a tradition publisher publishes my books, then I think the reach will be further than what I can do through self-publishing.

And in case you’re wondering what books I’m working on, here they are!

My Wives of the Bible book will most likely be the first book finished.  In fact, I can’t wait to complete this book because I know it will greatly equip you!  There are so many wives with such different lives and issues in the Bible that I sometimes think I identify with all of them in some way, shape or form, and I believe every wife will be drawn into the lives of these women, as well.

The next book I plan on finishing is Becoming His Bride and then I’ll write the other two books in the series.

For all my single friends (and mothers who have daughters age 17+)

I’ll be covering these topics:

• Establishing a firm, Biblical foundation for your future marriage
• Preparing Your Heart for Your Groom
• What about dating?
• What to look for in your future husband
• How Do You Know If He’s Mr. Right?
• and more

This will be a short book yet packed with preparing you for the second most important decision you’ll make in this lifetime!  I’ll cover topics like:

• Pay Attention to the Red Flags
• It’s Not Too Late to Change Your Mind
• Should You Have a Long or Short Engagement?
• What You’re Getting Yourself Into
• Topics You Must Discuss Before You Say “I Do”
• Preparing for the Marriage Bed (Whether You’re Pure or Not)
• Shifting to Your Respective Roles for a Christ-Centered Marriage
• The Secrets of Having the Best First Year of Marriage (Yes, this is fully possible!)

This book will be the last one I get to, but here are a few thoughts of what I want to share with you:

• Resolving Conflict Biblically
• The Key to Communicating with Your Husband
• How to Make Sure Your Marriage Thrives in the Midst of Trials
• Keeping the Passion Alive in the Midst of Parenting
• How to Draw Your Husband Close to You

Please note:  All of my covers, taglines and concepts are in the works.  Nothing is set in stone.  And if my books go the route of being published traditionally then everything about what I just shared could change.  Also, if the publishers choose not to publish my books, I will publish them anyways!   God wants these messages out regardless of what publishing path I take.

And one last thing.  My ‘Ask Jolene’ section of the blog I have taken down for awhile so I can spend more of my time writing these books.  However, I will still do my best to answer the emails that come through my inbox.  In the meantime, please be patient in waiting for my response.

Live a poured out life for Christ,

I’m linking up with: To Love, Honor, and  Vacuum, Women Living Well, and The Better Mom.

Now bloggers, it’s time to link up your posts!

I’m looking for posts on any and all things related to being a wife, i.e. homemaking ideas, ways you minister to your husband, dating ideas, and/or hearing what the Lord is telling you about your most important earthly relationship!

<img src="http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l599/joleneengle/th_mondayslinkup150copy.png" alt="The Alabaster Jar" style="border:none;" />

The post Equipping Christian Wives and Women…& a Link-Up! appeared first on Jolene Engle @ The Alabaster Jar.

My eyes welled up with tears when I read the first email.  The words on the screen said, “Appointment to meet with a publisher.”

I felt gripped by fear thinking, “who was I to be writing a book?”  And mixed with my insecurities was the reality that my book wasn’t even finished yet.  I felt like a failure before I even started this whole process.

‘Delete’ went the email.

But I was haunted by my reality.  I needed to make a decision because my deadline was moving closer and closer.

A week passed by and another email came by the same person.  I opened it and there was that pit in my stomach, again.  Why?  Because I don’t feel like a writer.  It’s not something I have pursued or dreamed of doing.  I don’t have a book proposal.  No polished pitch.  Nothing.

So why on earth did I sign up to meet with a publisher?  Call me crazy, because really, I have no clue.  Well, that’s not fully accurate.  I signed up for a conference called SheSpeaks.  It’s a conference to encourage and equip women who write or speak God’s message to others.  I fit into that boat, but I feel like my fears and insecurities are one big fat anchor which is causing my boat to sink.

Yet, I can’t NOT help but be in the boat to answer God’s call to minister to His daughters.  It’s an odd position I’m in.  In one breath, I want to stay in that boat and then in the next, I can’t wait to get out of it!   The battle is on between my flesh and spirit.

But I can’t stay in my safe zone of writing blog posts forever.  I’ve come to realize that the longer I spend time writing in this on-line space, the more I need to put together some books in order to help minister to you more effectively.

When I started this ministry the call from my Lord was simply to write to His daughters.  He didn’t give me any specifics on this one.  When I asked Him what?  A book?  A blog?  No answer was given.  Just simply to write.  And now after 2 years He’s revealing more of His plan to me.

But now that I can see more of where the Lord is taking me in this ministry, I’m faced with a crossroads.  I’m waffling between self-publishing the books the Lord has birthed in my heart or go the route of using a traditional publisher.

Traditional publishing seems like an easier path if I have access to a publisher.  (And now I have access to 2 of them next month!)

But I’m still hesitant to walk down that path.

And in my quiet moments with my Father I hear Him whisper to me…

Daughter, please go out on a limb for Me.  I will be with you and you can trust Me.

After seeking the Lord and looking at all the different pros and cons to both sides, there’s really only one reason that’s holding me back from pursuing traditional publishing.  It’s fear.

Doesn’t that just stick in your craw?  To realize why you’re not pursuing something or moving forward it’s all because of fear?  That just kinda disgusts me as I type that out.  When I think about the logic behind all of that, it really ticks me off because I know I’m in a spiritual battle.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.  Eph. 6:12 (NLT)

As a warrior for the Lord, I can either go into battle with Him or I can retreat because I’m fearful.  Well, from one warrior woman to another, retreat is not an option!  God has given us a purpose, and that’s to lift His name on high and glorify Him.  Of course I can sit back and shake in my boots and keep my mouth shut, or I can tell Satan to get behind me while I do what God has called me to do, which is to write and speak on His behalf.

So this is what the Lord has taught me in my situation and what I hope to pass on to you when you find yourself at a crossroads.

3 Biblical Tips When You’re At a Crossroads

Choose faith over fear.

Fear is not of the Lord.  Fear is of the Enemy.  Don’t make your decisions based on fear.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  2 Tim. 1:7

And without faith it is impossible to please God.  Hebrews 11:6

Inquire of the Lord.

Do this over and over again.  When you read about David in the Bible, who was considered by God as a man after His own heart, one of the things he did continually when he went into battle was he inquired of the Lord.

So David inquired of the LORD, saying, “Shall I go up against the Philistines? Will You deliver them into my hand?” And the LORD said to David, “Go up, for I will doubtless deliver the Philistines into your hand.”  2 Sam. 5:19

Therefore David inquired of the LORD, and He said, “You shall not go up; circle around behind them, and come upon them in front of the mulberry trees.  2 Sam. 5:23

Wait on the Lord.

Don’t move forward until you get your answer or the Lord’s given you more clarity into your situation so you can move forward in faith.

Be still, and know that I am God  Psalm 46:10

Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!  Psalm 27:14

Soon I’ll share with you what I’ve been working on and the decision I’ve made.  Plus I’ll give you some more biblical tips to help you in your decision making process.

Now it’s your turn?  Has fear ever held you back from doing something you felt God was calling you to do?  I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Photo Source

The post 3 Biblical Tips When You’re At a Crossroads appeared first on Jolene Engle @ The Alabaster Jar.

I forgot who I was today when fear came upon me.  I listened to the nasty Snake once again.  The cunning serpent loves to speak lies into our lives.  He loves to paralyze us from moving closer to God and doing what we’re called to do.  He seeks to thwart the purpose that God has for our precious lives.

But the Bible tells us who we really are…..

We are chosen and adopted by God.

Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.  Eph. 1:4,5

We are forgiven by God for all of our sins.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  1 John 1:9

We are redeemed by His blood.

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.  Ephesians 1:7

We are fully complete in Jesus Christ.

And you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.  Col. 2:10

We are ambassadors for the Lord.

So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”  2 Cor. 5:20

But sometimes we just plain forget, especially if we’re walking through the wilderness.

“He found him in a desert land and in the wasteland, a howling wilderness; He encircled him, He instructed him, He kept him as the apple of His eye.  Deut. 32:10

Let’s not forget who we are and Who we belong to!  We are the apple of His eye.

My friend, choose Truth today over your feelings.

Live a poured out life for Christ,

The post Because Sometimes We Forget Who We Really Are appeared first on Jolene Engle @ The Alabaster Jar.

Fences.

Brickwalls.

These are all borders to protect us.  We place these things around our home to keep out unwanted guests whether they’re cute, small critters or scary, big predators.

When need to take this same premise into our marriage in order to protect our marital relationship from seemingly innocent outsiders or outright intruders that pose a threat to our marital oneness.  Affairs don’t just happen.  They don’t fall out of thin air.  They usually start because we’re unguarded or we’re naive or deceived.  Or worse case scenario, we’re enticed by the flattery, the emotional support, the batting of the eyelashes, the understanding nods and pats on the shoulder, the spark, the smile, or just the newness of it all.

One wife wrote in asking how she can protect her marriage in a difficult situation…

Dear Jolene,

My husband is traveling a lot for business. We have a great marriage, open communication, great sex life, etc. His company has recently hired a woman with whom my husband will be working with. She is a Christian and my husband and her sit on a board of a Christian organization as well.  They will be traveling together as well; flying, driving, same hotel, etc. We have discussed this concern as my insecurities are rising up. He has committed to no evening meals together alone, no alcohol while on business, etc. At times they will be taking long drives together to get to a client – up to 3 hours….. how can we set up (more) boundaries so I feel safe, and how do I just let go. I am afraid that if I push the issue too much, I may cause a problem that really might not be there…..any advice?

Signed,

On the Road

Oh, my!

This is one tough spot for this wife to be in!  It’s not like this situation is just an occasional time that a husband is interacting with another woman in the area of business.  Nope.  This is much different.  But before I get into my response to her situation I wanted to give a basic outline of hedges that my Beloved and I put in place for our marriage.

We don’t have a friendship with the opposite sex.  Period.

Now does this mean we’re not cordial to others?  Of course not.  As a married couple we have relationships with other couples, but we don’t ‘hangout’ with the opposite sex.  I hang out with the wife and Eric hangs out with the other husband, or we stay in a group setting.

We don’t travel alone with the opposite sex.

We take precautionary measures to make sure we’re not left alone in a compromising situation.  We either travel together, alone, or in groups.

We don’t confide in the opposite sex.

I confide in my husband or my close girlfriends.   And Eric confides in me or his buddies.  When we were dating I didn’t confide in any other man and he didn’t confide in some other woman.  So why would we confide in someone else after we got married?

If the opposite sex wants help or counsel, we direct them to our spouse.

Many times we’ve been faced with this situation.  There have been times women will want to talk to Eric about their marriage/problems just because he’s a business consultant (or when he was their employer).  And women love it when someone listens to them!  And even though I’ve never met some of these women, Eric’s response is always the same, “You need to talk with my wife.”   

And because I run an on-line ministry, there have been many times that I have men contacting me seeking counsel, whether it’s through a comment, an email or through a Facebook message.  I always let my husband know there’s a guy who needs to be ministered to and then I forward the comment on to him.  I’m not looking to build a relationship with some other man all for the sake of ministry.

See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.  Eph. 5:15,16

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.  Matt. 10:16

So those are a few things we do in our marriage to keep us from temptation.

Now back to our wife’s dilemma.

Here’s my thoughts…

I personally don’t believe you can implement many more safeguards seeing how he has an on-going relationship with close personal contact and no accountability with this co-worker.  That’s my biggest concern.

The opportunity for temptation is high!  And the likelihood of getting emotionally connected with this woman is even higher.  For both him and her.

Long hours in the car.

They have work in common, as well as this other organization.

He’s away from his family.

It would only be natural for a man to connect with a woman in this scenario.

But this is his job so you might be asking what he can do?

Well, if I were in your situation, I’d do a few things.

I’d ask him how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

Would he like it if you were the one out with another man, traveling with him, spending several hours by his side, connecting with him, etc.?  Whether he admits it or not, I’m sure in his heart of hearts he wouldn’t be too fond of that arrangement!

But he can easily justify his position because it’s his job and he’s the provider…

Now what?

Ask your man if he’s willing to lose everything for the sake of his job?

Because your man professes to be a Christian, I’m quite surprised that he’s not bothered with this business arrangement.  After all, his character could so easily be compromised and tarnished in a matter of minutes.  The woman he’s going to be working alone with could so easily make false accusations about him.  Then what?  Is he prepared for that battle?  A Biblical example of this is Joseph and Potipher’s wife.  Joseph was working for her husband and she made several sexual advances towards him and he fled the scene because he was a man of honor and integrity, but Potipher’s wife still ended up tarnishing his reputation.  The next thing you know Joseph is falsely accused and he’s thrown in prison by his boss.  It’s a true story.  This kinda stuff happens, people!

As a reminder, the Enemy wants to destroy marriages and he’ll use whatever means it takes!

Or, is your husband willing to risk being temped because he’s putting himself in a compromising position?   It’s pretty natural for a flesh-filled human to give into temptation.  Is this what he wants to happen in his life?  A Biblical example of this is David and Bathsheba.  David didn’t go to battle like he was supposed to.  Instead, he stayed home and then became bored.  Boredom can so easily lead to sin just like it did with David and just like it can with any person.

We give way to temptation when there’s nothing else to do.  Spending countless hours with the opposite sex is never a wise choice, whether it’s one’s job or not.

I realize your husband may feel like you’re attacking his character by bringing up this issue, but I personally believe it’s wise to bring it up.  A man can so easily feel like you don’t trust him by doing this, but a person’s actions and decisions is what we gauge one’s trust by.  And quite frankly, no one is trustworthy because we’re all sinners and we’re all tempted at some point in our lives.

We fall and sin, just like King David did.  And the Lord considered David to be a man after God’s own heart!  He was dedicated to serving the Lord but he made a poor decision and thus succumbed to sin.  If a man after God’s own heart can sin, certainly anyone else can too!

And being that the woman professes to be a Christian I’m surprised she’s not bothered by this business arrangement either.  Perhaps she’s newly saved and she’s not sure of what’s appropriate with the opposite sex?  Or maybe she’s married and because your man is married she thinks it’s no big deal to be traveling with another man so much or alone??  As believers, we need to use discernment and protect ourselves from temptation.  It seems these two areas are being dismissed all for the sake of the job.

Perhaps they don’t even realize the dangers lurking right around the corner.

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.  Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.  Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.  James 1:14-16

I would encourage your husband to talk with his boss for the sake of your man’s character and for the sake of your marriage.  And maybe this woman is feeling uneasy about this arrangement as well and she’s hoping someone will step forward and speak up for her??  This is a possibility.

Personally, if I were in this woman’s shoes or even your husband’s shoes, I’d let my boss know that I wasn’t willing to put myself in a compromising situation because my character was too important to me and so is my marriage.

Would I have fear of losing my job?  Of course.  But my reasons for talking with my boss is so I could bring glory to the Lord and not fall in my Christian walk.  I personally believe this pursuit is much more important than having a job.

Would the Lord honor your husband for taking this position?  Absolutely!

So, ask your husband some of the questions I discussed.  All you’re trying to do is safeguard your marriage as well as protect your man’s reputation and his relationship with the Lord.  After all, you are his sister in the Lord!  By asking him questions, he shouldn’t feel like you’re making accusations.  And the questions will help him to come up with the answers.  It gives him the chance to lead and it prepares his heart to hear the Holy Spirit move in him.

Once you’ve said all these things and whatever decision he makes, then you just need to trust that the Lord will move in his heart and protect your marriage.

Now your man might not make the decision to go to his boss but you’ve brought some things to his attention.  If and when he’s traveling with this woman he might be more apt to be on guard.  He may even decide after he’s traveled this road that it’s not the best thing for him and his marriage.

Any other hedges you can add to help protect a marriage?  I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Live a poured out life for Christ,

 Photo Source
I’m linking up with: To Love, Honor, and  Vacuum, Women Living Well, and The Better Mom.

Now bloggers, it’s time to link up your posts!

I’m looking for posts on any and all things related to being a wife, i.e. homemaking ideas, ways you minister to your husband, dating ideas, and/or hearing what the Lord is telling you about your most important earthly relationship!

<img src="http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l599/joleneengle/maritalonenessmondaysjarpinkbuttoncopy.png" alt="The Alabaster Jar" style="border:none;" />

The post Putting Up Hedges Around Your Marriage…& a Link-Up! appeared first on Jolene Engle @ The Alabaster Jar.