Jon Ursenbach

Hello, AOL.

2013-02-12T00:00:00-08:00

On 7/1/2009 at 9:29 PM, a Wednesday, I sent the following email to a little startup that had just launched that morning.

Hey gtgt! My name’s Jon Ursenbach and I’m a PHP developer. I’ve been doing this for a while not and absolutely love it. I’m a huge fan of gadgets, and gush over people everytime I see something new in the wild. I’m interested in working for gdgt because I love what you guys got going for you and think it’d be awesome to work for a site that deals with stuff I’m always reading about on other sites (Engadget, Gizmodo, etc.). Also, I would love to have the rush of holding onto the edge of my chair, watching traffic stats and trying to mentally scanning every line of code I’ve written over the past month looking for something that’d might slowdown the site during a WWDC keynote.

I’ve attached my resume, so please check it out.

Looking forward to hearing back from you guys.

-Jon Ursenbach

I was really unhappy at my job at the time, Decorati.com, and honestly sent it to blow off some steam. I didn’t expect to get a response. I did. The next day. From Ryan Block. 19 days later I was on board.

Sure Decorati was a startup in the most basic sense, but it ran like a 9-5er. gdgt was my first real startup. They took a hell of a chance on me, and I them.

Today all the hard work that we’ve put in has paid off.

gdgt has been acquired by AOL and the entire team is being moved in with AOL Tech Media to work on Engadget, TechCrunch, et al.

I absolutely admired Ryan and Peter’s work at Engadget, Joystiq, and Gizmodo and followed them to the early, podcast-only, days of gdgt, liked what I saw and decided I wanted to be part of it. Now I get to be part of Engadget and Joystiq. Re-reading my intro email, it all really hits home hard.

It’s been an incredible 3.5 years at gdgt and I absolutely cannot wait to see what comes next.

Hello, AOL.

And yes, aside from the couple of typos in my intro email, I am now just realizing that I misspelled gdgt. Glad nobody noticed!

Quite the Comcastrophe

2013-01-06T00:00:00-08:00

So I’m a Comcast subscriber, and have been for the better part of 7 years now. I don’t enjoy them that much because they’re expensive, but the service works and I haven’t had any complaints. Until a few months ago.

Back in September, HBO GO randomly stopped working. Everytime I’d connect I would get a “This network is not included in your current XFINITY® TV subscription*. Upgrade your service now to watch this network” error. Which doesn’t make any sense because I subscribe to HBO, and have been for the past year.

I never really did anything about it because I never used HBO GO that much anyway, but last month I had some time to deal with the problem and fired up an online chat with Comcast support. I wish I had saved the transcript, but it was absolutely unbelievable. The technician had no idea what I was talking about. Kept asking me if HBO was working on my TV, which it is and always has been. Then he asked if the HBO GO channel was working on my TV. Um. That’s not a channel? Closed the chat because I was so fucking frustrated with that and didn’t deal with the problem again until today.

What follows is my experience today with Comcast support trying to fix my connection to HBO GO:

Attempt #1

Anabeth: I hope you haven’t waited so long to be assisted and hope you are having a great day.

Jon: My Issue: I’m currently paying for HBO, but when I try to access HBOGO, it sais “access not authorized”.

Anabeth: I understand you are chatting in because you cannot access HBOGO online, is this correct?

Jon: yes

Anabeth: May I ask if you are able to access HBO on your TV?

Jon: yeah, that works just fine. i just cant access hob go

Anabeth: Thank you for confirming.

Anabeth: I have checked your account and it was setup correctly as well.

Anabeth: I may need to connect you to our Online Team for further assistance.

Jon: ok

Anabeth: Are there any other issues that I can address before I transfer this chat?

Jon: nope. thanks anabeth

Anabeth: You are most welcome, Jon!

Anabeth: Please stay connected to the chat for the next available representative. Thank you for choosing Comcast for your entertainment needs.

Anabeth: Please wait, while the problem is escalated to another analyst

analyst Michael has entered room

analyst Anabeth has left room

analyst Anabeth has left room

Michael: Let me welcome you with a warm smile! What a pleasure to have you in this chat session. I look forward in helping you with your concern today!

Jon: hi michael

Michael: I understand that your having trouble logging in to your online account, correct?

Jon: just hbo go. everything else is working just fine

Michael: May I know were are you accessing it?

Jon: my browser (chrome). says “access not authorized”

Jon: nor does it work on my xbox or my tablet. when i go to log in, it gives me the same error

Jon: though i am definitely paying for hbo, and hbo works just fine on my tv.

Jon: hbo go was working perfectly fine up until a couple months ago when it just stopped. have been trying to get it back ever since

Michael: I see, please use another browser.

Michael: Are you accessing it online?

Jon: yes

Jon: tried again in a different browser and its giving me the same error. the browser isnt the problem

Jon: “This network is not included in your current XFINITY® TV subscription*. Upgrade your service now to watch this network”

Michael: Can we refresh the browser.

Michael: To clear the Google Chrome browser: 1. Click on the wrench icon on the upper right of the browser. 2. Highlight the “Tools” menu and select the “Clear Browsing history” or click on the “Options” menu and click on the “Under the Hood” tab and select the “Clear Browsing history” button. 3. Put a check on the boxes before “Clear browsing History”, “Clear download history”, “Empty cache”, “Delete cookies and other site data”, “Clear saved form data”. (If possible check all.) 4. Select “Everthing” on the “Clear data from this period:” 5. Close the options window and relaunch the browser.

Jon: i’ve done that plenty of times, and it still doesn’t work

Jon: the issue isnt the browser, there’s something up on your guys’ end

Jon: because it doenst work regardless of the browser or platform i try to access it on (computer, xbox, tablet)

Michael: I see would you mind if I send a fresh signal to the modem?

Jon: sure

Michael: You will be temporarily disconnected but I assure you that you will be connected back to me as soon as you are connnected with the modem.

Jon: ok

user Jon has left room

Michael: Please try to check now.

Jon: ok

Michael: Are you able to check now if its working?

Jon: still giving me the same error

Jon: cleared my cookies, and tried 3 different browsers

Jon: “This network is not included in your current XFINITY® TV subscription*. Upgrade your service now to watch this network”

Michael: Is it working online or just the xbox or on the iPad?

Jon: its not working anywhere

Michael: Let me check it here.

Jon: ok

Michael: Thank you.

Michael: Can you try to access this link http://www.hbogo.com/activate/#devices

Jon: load that link up, select comcast xfinity and it sends me to the same error page

Jon: This network is not included in your current XFINITY® TV subscription*. Upgrade your service now to watch this network

Michael: Okay, give me a moment to check it here.

Michael: Thank you for patiently waiting.

Jon: np

Michael: May I know if the Hbo working on your cable?

Michael: Are you still with me?

Jon: hbo is working fine on my tv

Michael: I see.

Michael: Jon, Please call the service hotline 1-800-XFINITY (1-800-9346489) to assist you further, I will note here on the account regarding this.

Jon: alright

Jon: thanks

Michael: It was my pleasure having to interact with you today. Do you have any other questions or concerns today?

Jon: nope

Michael: Our goal is to provide you with a consistently superior customer experience – that’s our guarantee. Learn more about the Comcast Customer Guarantee at click here http://www.comcast.com/Corporate/Customers/CustomerGuarantee.html?SCRedirect=true

Michael: Comcast also offers great FAQ and Help forums located at click here https://customer.comcast.com/Public/Home.aspx to help you solve many issues on your own. You can also reach us at 1-800-XFINITYT (1-800-9346489).

Michael: Thank you for contacting Comcast! We appreciate your business and value you as a customer.

Attempt #2

Since Michael recommended I call support, I did that. Called support and the agent had no idea what I was talking about. Eventually figured out that HBO GO is VOD, and then typed into his keyboard for a minute and asked me to unplug my cable box and modem for 5 minutes and that everything should work after that.

It didn’t.

Attempt #3

Jon: My Issue: I’m paying for HBO (and HBO GO), but when I try to access HBO GO it says “This network is not included in your current XFINITY® TV subscription*. Upgrade your service now to watch this network”.

analyst Perry has left room

Jon: Hi, Perry. I really hope you can help me out here.

analyst Perry has left room

Jon: Have been trying off and on to get this working again over the past couple months and nobody’s been able to help me out.

Attempt #4

Jon: My Issue: I’m paying for HBO (and HBO GO), but when I try to access HBO GO it says “This network is not included in your current XFINITY® TV subscription*. Upgrade your service now to watch this network”.

The chat session has been closed

Marjorie: Analyst has closed chat and left the room

Attempt #5

Jon: My Issue: I’m paying for HBO (and HBO GO), but when I try to access HBO GO it says “This network is not included in your current XFINITY® TV subscription*. Upgrade your service now to watch this network”.

Katherine: How are you doing today?

Jon: Not great! I’ve been getting the run around with your coworkers today trying to get my issue fixed.

Jon: Two consecutive agents refused to help me just now.

Jon: Called support 10 minutes ago and the guy had me unplug my cable box and modem, but that didn’t fix my problem.

analyst Katherine has left room

Katherine: Jon, are you there?

Jon: I am here

analyst Katherine has left room

analyst Katherine has left room

Jon: I’m still here

Katherine: It appears you may have left the chat room. Please acknowledge that you are still available.

Katherine: This chat will automatically close if no response is received within one minute.

Jon: I’m here

analyst Katherine has left room

Katherine: Should you be disconnected after that time, please begin a new chat so that we can provide you the support that you need.

The chat session has been closed

Katherine: Analyst has closed chat and left the room

Attempt #6

Jon: My Issue: I’m paying for HBO (and HBO GO), but when I try to access HBO GO it says “This network is not included in your current XFINITY® TV subscription*. Upgrade your service now to watch this network”.

Saffia: I hope you haven’t waited so long to be assisted and hope you are having a great day.

Jon: I am not, but thanks!

Jon: I’ve been given the run around for 5 agents now tryingt o get my issue fixed

Jon: Nobody really seems to understand whats happening

Jon: Called support and the guy there told me to unplug my modem and wait 5 minutes and that it’d be fixed. It isn’t.

Jon: Please help

The chat session has been closed

Saffia: Analyst has closed chat and left the room

So I’m now being denied support. Unreal.

Not really sure where to go from here. Would love to close my account with them, but I don’t really have the time to deal with that. All I want is access to fucking HBO GO. Is that so much to ask?

Jekyll plugin for gdgt gadget lists

2012-02-22T00:00:00-08:00

Get it here. https://github.com/jonursenbach/jekyll-gdgt

Comcast, what is this I don't even...

2011-02-15T00:00:00-08:00

Jon > I think you guys are trying to double my bill.

Claudette > Hello Jon, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Claudette. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Claudette > I see here that you have a concern or problem with your bill, I understand the trouble that this has caused you and I want you to know how sorry I am for the inconvenience.

Claudette > As your service representative today, I want you to know that your satisfaction is of my topmost priority and I assure you that we can resolve this issue together on this chat, Jon.

Claudette > May I ask for you to kindly elaborate your concern for me?

Claudette > Thank you.

Jon > Sure

Jon > On Jan 23rd I paid 281.30

Jon > Was my understanding that that was because I missed payment for December

Jon > So I was paying for the previous and current bill

Jon > Look up my account this morning to pay my bill and the total due is 281.30

Jon > Total (previous + current) due 01/21/2011 $281.30

Jon > The hell?

Claudette > Thank you very much for the details and the information.

Claudette > I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you, Jon.

Claudette > No worries and let me help you with that today. Let me pull up your account and see what I can best do for you.

Claudette > Since your account protection is a top priority to Comcast, I need to verify some information for us to be able to check the account. Can I please have the Full Name registered under the account and complete Service Address? Also, please provide me your complete account number or the last 4 digits of your Social Security Number.

Jon > *****

Claudette > Thank you very much for the details and the information.

Claudette > Please allow me to borrow two minutes of your time to check and verify the account for you. Would that be fine with you?

Jon > ok

Claudette > Thank you so much, Jon.

Claudette > Let me have two minutes to pull up your account. While I am doing this, please allow me to share with you features of some Comcast service. While waiting for your account to pull up, I will share you a feature of Comcast that you can truly benefit. Do you know that Comcast is introducing XFINITY? XFINITY is the new brand of Comcast ’s technology platform, products, and services: XFINITY TV, XFINITY Voice, XFINITY Internet and XFINITY Triple Play or XFINITY bundled services. XFINITY marks the beginning of a whole new era of innovation and change for Comcast. We’re transforming the customer experience and giving you more choices, more convenience and more control over your entertainment, information and communication needs. To know more about XFINITY, go to XFINITY.com/home.

Claudette > Thank you very much for patiently waiting. I really appreciate your patience with me.

Claudette > I am now in your account and let me go ahead and check on your bill records and charges.

Jon > ok

Claudette > I have checked and I am so sorry, James, I see no double charges on your account or bill. What I see here is that your balance was $281.30 because you had a unsettled previous balance $140.65 and then been added up to your current balance.

Jon > Name’s Jon, but what was the previous unsettled balance of 140.65 from?

Jon > My account was current a month ago.

Claudette > Oh I am sorry, Jon.

Jon > There couldn’t have been two billing cycles between Jan 23rd and Feb 15th.

Claudette > Let me check. Claudette > I see here that your $140.65 previously was for your December with due date 01/15/11 while your current balance $140.65 as well was January Bill with due date 02/13/11. The previous $140.65 was not settled thus was included on your next bill $140.65 as well.

Jon > How was it not settled? I paid it all off 3 weeks ago

Claudette > May I know the date and the amount of the payment please?

Jon > I don’t know the due date, but I paid 281.30 on Jan 23rd

Claudette > Okay and let me check.

Jon > which is what your website said i needed to pay

Jon > Confirmation Number: *****

Claudette > No worries, Jon and let me inform you that you do not have any pending balance not since you already paid. I am sorry if I did not inform you.

Claudette > I was referring to the reason why your bill got $281.30.

Claudette > now*

Claudette > I am so sorry for the typo error.

Jon > right

Jon > but your website is telling me I need to pay 281.30 right now

Jon > Total (previous + current) due 01/21/2011 $281.30

Claudette > Please disregard that, Jon and the web site is not currently updated with what is going on with your bill in our system. Rest assured that your balance is now $0.00 and you do not have to pay for anything currently.

Claudette > I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you.

Jon > Any idea when the website will be updated?

Claudette > Yes, Jon. It will be updated before the billing date which is on 01/22/11. I am sorry for the delay on the update of your bill online.

Claudette > You can try logging in again next week and check if the charge it still there.

Jon > k

Jon > thanks claudette

Claudette > But no worries, Jon and your account is current.

Claudette > *******customer prematurely wrapped up*******

Claudette > It’s been my pleasure to have assisted you. I am happy you contacted Comcast today so that we can help you resolve your issue. We strive to exceed your expectations and hope that you will take a moment to complete the 3 question survey that will follow our interaction, your feedback will help us to continue improving how we serve you.

Claudette > Do you want to watch full TV shows and movies online? Go to http://www.xfinitytv.com . Thank you for choosing Comcast as your cable TV provider and have a great day! Comcast appreciates your business and values you as a customer. Our goal is to provide you with excellent service. If you need further assistance, you can chat with one of our Customer Support Specialists 24 hour a day, 7 days a week by clicking on the link http://www.comcastsupport.com/videochat. To close this chat, please click the close button at the top of your chat window. Thank you!

IE Javascript Application Caveats

2009-07-18T00:00:00-07:00

The one and only thing that I despise with web development is having to deal with Internet Explorer. Aside from having to deal with the regular unsupported CSS bullshit, even worse is writing dynamic applications with Javascript. Generally if you are using a popular JS framework (jQuery, Prototype, MooTools), you shouldn’t have to worry too much about cross-browser issues as the people running those teams have done all of the hard work for you. However, there are those few, but rare, moments where you come across an instance of IE implementing proper standards. The following are some of the more common cases that I’ve come across lately while reviewing code.

objectName.delete();

One of the few times where IE actually conforms to the EMCAScript standards is that you absolutely cannot have a function named “delete”. This will work in Firefox, Safari and Chrome (as far as I am aware at least), but will render an undecipherable error when loaded in IE.

dontForgetYour;

No butts about it, all statements must end with a semicolon.

Give me 20 CCs of comma, stat!

When working with JSON objects and arrays, leaving trailing commas at the end of your arrays are going to give you a bad time. Example:

var jsonObj;
jsonObj = {'first', 'second', 'third', 'fourth',};

Have fun tracking down that bug in a couple thousand line application!

Var? What var?

All variables that you’re using in functions, objects or classes must be declared with a proper var declaration. Forgetting to do this will sometimes cause your application to do some funky shit, but not always I’ve found. The randomness of bugs like this happening, though, are rare enough to deal with.

So what can I do?

Well the best thing you can do, since IE is notioriously difficult to debug JS applications is to properly lint your code with Douglas Crockford’s JSLint. ~~If you’re a PHP developer, or adept at running PHP CLI scripts, soon you will be able to use my JSLint-PHP program.~~

Lastly, you can also install Firebug Lite so you have access to the standard Firebug console, allowing you to run things like console.log().

Tweet This, go fuck yourself

2009-06-24T00:00:00-07:00

Howard Beale put it best when he said that he was mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. This is how I feel right now after having to deal with the Tweet This Wordpress plugin. Simply put, this plugin is the fucking worst. This plugin is so bad, that I’m writing my first blog post in almost two years so I can publicly rant about this and get it out of my system.

Today, the public-facing side of our Wordpress installation went down. Hard. The admin panel loaded, albeit very slowly, but was still available. At first I thought the problem was Apache acting up, as per usual. Restarted Apache, no change. Time to check the database. Database is good, off to the error logs. Ah ha!

PHP Warning: fopen(http://th8.us/ttph.php?s........ in plugins/tweet-this/tweet-this.php on line 29
PHP Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in plugins/tweet-this/tweet-this.php on line 30
PHP Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in plugins/tweet-this/tweet-this.php on line 30

Loading up http://th8.us in my browser and it times out. I try to ping it and still nothing; it’s down for the count. My immediate thought is that this plugin is opening up HTTP connections for every post for people who want to, or are trying to, share posts on Twitter. So I load up the Settings and change the default URL shortener to TinyURL and restart Apache for good measure. Load up the error logs and it’s still coming through. Try to load up the site and nothing. Joy. Time to roll up my sleeves and dive into this code.

I put on a pair of 3d glasses, because apparently this developer has never heard of, or practiced, writing readable and maintainable code, and find this nugget.

<?php
// Big brother is watching.
function tt_phone_home($status) {
global $current_site; global $wpdb; $wpv = get_bloginfo('version');
$siteURL = $current_site->domain; $blogURL = get_bloginfo('url');
$title = get_bloginfo('name'); $email = get_bloginfo('admin_email');
$description = get_bloginfo('description');
$lang = get_bloginfo('language');
$posts = number_format($wpdb->get_var("SELECT COUNT(*)
FROM $wpdb->posts WHERE post_status = 'publish'"));
$settings = $wpdb->get_var("SELECT option_value
FROM $wpdb->options WHERE option_name = 'tweet_this_settings'");
$phone = tt_read_file('http://th8.us/ttph.php?s=' . $siteURL . '&b=' .
$blogURL . '&v=1.3.9&u=' . $status . '&p=' . $posts . '&t=' .
urlencode($title) . '&d=' . urlencode($description) . '&l=' .
urlencode($lang) . '&e=' . urlencode($email) . '&w=' . $wpv .
'&x=' . urlencode($settings));
}

What the fuck is this shit? tt_phone_home()? It’s sending home our site URL, blog URL, installed version of Wordpress, amount of published posts, blog title, description language and the administrator email. Fan-fucking-tastic. Mention of this is nowhere to be found in the plugin readme or FAQ.

If you’re going to have a plugin phone home on every page load, and not tell anybody about it or have any setting to turn it off aside from commenting it out, you damned be sure to make sure that server never goes down, or at least have your file_get_contents() call in tt_read_file() timeout instead of just sitting there opening up connections to a dead host.

Tweet This, go fuck yourself.