We question our purpose.

We wonder if where we’re at is where we're supposed to be.

We have doubts when things get difficult.

Sometimes in the middle of difficult circumstances, things don’t make any sense.

What are you supposed to do during those seasons—when you’re worn out, tired and it feels like the challenges will never end?

1. Thank Jesus for an opportunity to grow

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.” —James 1:2–4

Here’s a secret—I suck at this.

When I’m in the middle of something difficult you may see a smile on my face, but most of the time in my heart I’m frustrated or pissed off. My first reaction definitely isn’t to thank Jesus.

But if I take the time to look back at past challenging seasons of my life, I can see so clearly how Jesus was taking me through difficult seasons to prepare me for what was next. If I hadn’t of gone through it, I wouldn’t have been ready.

It’s in the process and sometimes the pain that Jesus crafts you into someone more like Him.

I recently read some notes I wrote down from 3 years ago. The first sentence instantly hit home: 

“You’re gonna need this one day.”

Then it continued: 

“To get to another mountaintop, you have to go through the valley.”

"The things that happen to us are not accidents. Things may not make sense now, but Jesus has gone before us and prepared the way."

What is it the Lord is trying to teach you? Chances are high that he’s preparing you for what’s He wants to do next in your life.

2. Boldly ask for help

James continues:
“If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.”

Too often I forget to ask for help. I think I can manage it all on my own, but the truth is I need help—we all need help.

What I'm learning is that if I can put aside my pride and ask for help, I'm able to make more progress together with a friend than if I just tried to struggle through something on my own.

But it doesn't stop there. How often do we go through difficult times and forget to ask Jesus to help us? We get so busy, so focused on everything around us that we forget to ask the one person that matters most.

It's often when you stop, and decide to pray that the Lord begins to work in your heart. He begins to change your perspective so you can see that He is not only bigger than what you're going through, but that he has a greater purpose—to grow you and shape you into someone more like him.

3. Wait for the Lord

“But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don’t get tired,
they walk and don’t lag behind.”
—Isaiah 40:31

Several years ago, I went through one of the most difficult times of entire life as I pursued, prayed, and ultimately waited for my wife to come back home after abruptly leaving. I'd like to say that I was able to patiently wait for the Lord to come through for those 15 long, excruciating months. There were moments I handled it well and moments where I would yell at God, wondering where he had gone.

We’re impatient.

We want our way.

We have our expectation of how things should turn out.

We want things to be easy and fast.

Waiting on the Lord doesn’t mean that things will be easy—often they're not. Waiting is one of the most difficult things to do. But in the seasons of waiting, Jesus is teaching us to trust him fully.

A friend of mine once said, "You won't make it long term if you don't trust God. You learn to trust God by trusting God. You never trust God until you have to. God makes sure that you have to."

Now on the other side of that situation, having gone through a divorce, a season of singleness, and eventually getting remarried, I can see so clearly why it was all worth it. That difficult season, with all of it's waiting helped me in so many ways.

It helped me love Jesus more.

It made me aware of my own selfishness.

It prepared me to love my new wife Kristelle in ways I didn't realize.

It helped me get a glimpse of how Jesus sees us.

It strengthened my belief that the plans Jesus has for my life really do surpass my own.

These things aren't just true for me—they can be true for you too. But don't take my word for it. Here's what James has to say about challenging seasons:

“Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.” —James 1:12

4. Come back to your purpose

Why are you here? 
What is it that burdens you deep in your soul?
What is it that keeps you awake at night?

Sometimes we get so caught up in our situation that we lose sight of the very thing God has called us to do. Maybe you're not sure what your purpose is and that's ok. As Jesus was nearing his final time on earth, he left us with words that give each of us a purpose.

“God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.”
—Matthew 28:18–20

Whether we're in ministry or simply as followers of Jesus, this is our ultimate purpose—to help people meet Jesus.

I recently read a quote from author Greg McKeown:
“The most powerful form of self-belief comes from believing in something greater than you. Because when you’ve got purpose, everything becomes possible.”

"So when you are exhausted or getting pulled in a million directions come back to your purpose.”

Ministry is difficult. Ministry is tiring. Ministry is weighty.

But I can promise you there's nothing you will pour out that Jesus won't give you back.
You just have to walk in faith and don't give up.

I led student events, went to worship conferences, and even worked at a church for seven years. I spent over ten years lying to myself and others. I became an expert at doing and saying all the right things to make me look good in front of people, but no one knew the secret I kept buried deep inside my heart.

Over the years God would convict me in so many ways: through my pastor, through the words of a friend, through churches or other videos I'd watch online. I was so frustrated at my inability to stop looking at porn. Why couldn't I just stop?

I knew the one thing I needed to do was simple: Confess. 

But I continued to convince myself that I would take care of it later. That it would get better after I was married. That it would get better if I could just put a filter on my internet access. It would get better if I just prayed more or read my Bible more. I tried so many things except the one thing Jesus was constantly leading me to do.

During this season, some friends were over at my house hanging out. One of them casually told me their parent had a dream about me. In this dream a person came up to her mom and told her "Jon will never get to where God wants him to be if he doesn't confess sexual sin in his life." Holy crap! I was caught! My heart was beating so loud, I was sure that people would hear it. I did my best to pretend I didn't know what she was talking about—I'd been found out, but how did they know?! 

We all laughed it off as crazy, but that phrase took root in my heart and would not let go.

You'll never get to where God wants you to be unless you confess sin in your life.

Nearly four months after, on January 21, 2010, Jesus still wouldn't leave me alone. I couldn't take it any more—I had to confess my sin. It was difficult. It was messy. And it didn't get better over night. But with that simple act of confession, Jesus began to change my heart.

Confession is a scary thing. What will people think? What if people don't accept you? What if they judge you? 

The reality is that your confession of sin will most likely cause someone pain. Sin hurts. The conversations you have have will be uncomfortable. But left unchecked, unconfessed and allowed to grow, sin always leads to death. 

Think about that for a minute. Which is worse: being hurt and uncomfortable—or being dead? 

"Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death." 
—James 1:14-15

I like the way the Message puts it: “Lust gets pregnant, and has a baby: sin! Sin grows up to adulthood, and becomes a real killer.”  If you don't put the sin in your life to death, it will grow and cause more damage than you realize.

Fast forward to 2012. I had just moved to Anderson, South Carolina to take a contract position at NewSpring Church. (This had been my dream job for nearly 3 years.) Everything had been unloaded into the apartment, and everyone who had shown up to help was leaving to go home. I looked at the date on my phone: January 21, 2012. The entire conversation with my friend about her mom's dream came roaring back into my head. Exactly 2 years after confessing sin, I had moved into the exact place God wanted me to be. My mind was blown.

It all begins with confession—admitting to ourselves, to God, and to others that we need help. Sometimes the most difficult part is just admitting to yourself. We like to think that if we just try harder we'll be able fix things on our own, but the reality is that you need Jesus to help you. Once you tell Jesus, you're free to confess it to others, and I believe that is when healing can actually begin.

Is there any sin in your life that you need to confess to someone?

What's the first thing that came to mind when you read that last sentence? That sin. The only thing keeping you from confessing is pride. Is your pride worth more to you than your freedom?

It's not easy and things may not get better immediately, but I can promise you, that on the other side of confession there is freedom and healing. And that freedom will make any amount of pain you may go through completely worth it.

What do you need to confess?

What is your heart full of?

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.
—Luke 6:45 NLT

What is it that motivates you? Is it recognition? Competition? Money? 

How do you treat people? Do you bark orders, talk down to them, or deep down in your heart think you're better than them?

How has your attitude been lately? Do you find yourself angry, frustrated, or bitter more often than not?

If your heart is not right, no one will care about your skills.

As I've been reading through the Bible, this passage about Solomon stood out to me. 

"In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the lord his God, as his father, David, had been. Solomon worshiped Ashtoreth, the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech, the detestable god of the Ammonites. In this way, Solomon did what was evil in the lord’s sight; he refused to follow the lord completely, as his father, David, had done.

The lord was very angry with Solomon, for his heart had turned away from the lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice."
—1 Kings 11:4–6,9 NLT

Verse 10 goes on to say that God had given Solomon a specific warning about worshipping other god's and marrying women were not Israelites. Solomon, in all his wisdom, was well aware of what God had told him to not do. God himself had appeared to him—not once, but twice—and granted him his request for wisdom! Despite all of these things, Solomon's heart still turned away from the one person who had given him his talent.

What does this have to do with me?

Chances are you don't worship the goddess Ashtoreth, build shrines to Chemosh, or sacrifice your children to Molech. How does this apply to you here, right now? 

Is there something you’ve been doing that you need to stop?

Is there something that the Lord has been leading you to do that you need start?

Is there some sin in your life that Jesus has been convicting you of, that you've been pushing back and trying to ignore?

One of the things I've been learning over the past few years is that delayed obedience is still disobedience. Ignoring conviction and not listening to what Jesus is leading you to do is a sure way to turn your heart away from the Lord.

At first it might not seem like a big deal, but I can guarantee you that left unchecked, it will affect every single aspect of your life. Your attitudes, the way you view people and the way you view God. 

For years I was in denial about my porn addiction. It affected my attitude toward others, especially those closest to me. I was bitter, jaded, cynical and it showed in my words and actions. But Jesus, in his infinite grace, wouldn't leave me alone. One day I couldn't take it any more—I had to confess my sin. It was difficult. It was messy, and it didn't get better over night. But with that simple act of confession, Jesus began to change my heart.

As I lead, I want my heart to be more focused on Jesus and aware of what he’s leading me to do. I want to follow Jesus completely, because I know that his path and plans are better than anything I would do on my own . The condition of your heart is way more important than the work you do, and I am convinced that if your heart is in the right spot, focused on Jesus, everything else will fall into place.

So let me ask this one more time: 

What is your heart full of?

It hit home again when I read this verse today: 

"What he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find..."

After 15 months of trusting God, I naively thought things would get easier at this point. I'm learning that I now need to trust God more, and with everything in me—not worrying about how to make things work or force my way through life.

It's not about me, no matter how much I'd like it to be. I just have to keep reminding myself that Jesus is better than everything.

You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that "he's a fiercely jealous lover." And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble."

So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet.
James 4:4–10

You can't just turn off love. It gradually fades and eventually dies, but it's a process. And a long one.

I think that best describes how I felt today. It's like knowing a family member or friend who's in the hospital, dying. You know the end is becoming a reality, but still you hold onto hope because it's all you have. Nobody wants someone they love to die. Nobody wants love to die.

So you wait and you pray and you do your best to stay positive despite the circumstances. In the back of your mind you push back thoughts that maybe it would be easier for the person to die. Their pain and suffering would end, and they would be in a better place. But still we love and hold onto hope.

When it happens, you're overwhelmed with sadness and tears even though part of you feels relief. It's a strange mix of emotions that settles right into your heart. A part of you has died, and you know they're not coming back.

All wounds need time to heal, and eventually they become a distant memory. Life goes on. Life begins anew.

Here's to new beginnings.

It didn't work.

So I yelled at my dryer. maybe cussed at it, turned over, and tried to sleep again. The noise didn't listen.

I was angry.

I got up, stormed across the room, planted a firm kick at the dryer's base, and the noise instantly subsided. A wave of relief swept over me. I can sleep! I slid back under the cool covers, and laid my head onto the pillow. Instantly the noise returned.

I was furious.

Was the universe playing a cosmic joke on me? I was not amused.

"God, can you make this freakin dryer stop? I just want to freakin get some sleep!"

Then it hit me. Here I am enduring this obnoxious scrape for almost an hour, when all I had to do was simply turn of the dryer. It was within my power, yet I was so focused on letting it dry my clothes that I had completely forgotten I had the ability to make the noise stop.

I do this in life a lot. Maybe I'm going through a frustrating season. I get so focused on finishing, forgetting I have the power to stop the frustration. Or maybe it's been a year long ordeal that I just want to be over. I become so focused on a perfect outcome, I want the frustrating noise to stop, get some sleep AND have my clothes dried all at the same time.

But we don't live in a perfect world. I still trust God, I get sound advice, I weigh my options, and I wait patiently. That's when I realize I can make it stop. It may not be the ideal outcome, it might make me uncomfortable, but it's within my power to do so. Stopping the dryer doesn't mean your clothes will never get dry. It just means it will wait until morning, for another opportunity.

And perhaps that would be a better time to dry clothes anyway.

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all.
—(Matthew 16:24-26 MSG)

If I don't do what God says, I'm telling him I don't trust Him.

During the NewSpring Staff Leadership Conference last year, Jake Beaty said something that has stuck with me:

• You won't make it long term if you don't trust God.
• You learn to trust God by trusting God.
• You never trust God until you have to.
• God makes sure that you have to.

Trusting God requires faith that he wants the best for my life, even if I don't understand what's happening right now.

I don't have to have everything figured out. I don't have to have all the answers. I only need to trust that is who he says he is and do what he's calling me to do right now.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
—(Matthew 6:34 MSG)

It's easy to miss God working when he doesn't show up how we expect. I've done this so many times in my life, where I completely miss what God is doing because I wasn't open to him working in a way I hadn't seen before. I've realized that sometimes you just have to change your perspective.

It's also easy to forget how God has has come through for us in the past. As I've been reading through the Old Testament, I see so many times where the israelites so quickly forgot that God had brought them out of slavery to the Egyptians. I mean God sent all of these crazy supernatural signs, he parted a freakin massive body of water where over a million people walked through, and fed that same million people with magic bread that fell from the sky. How crazy is that? Yet, sure enough the Israelites had forgot all that God had provided for them only a few months later.

I see so much of the Israelites in myself. I look back at how faithful God has been throughout my life. He's taken care of me, met my needs, fed me, clothed me, kept me healthy. He's brought me through really difficult times in life where I just wanted to give up. He's given me opportunities even when it looked like there were none. Yet I'm so quick to forget when situations become uncertain. I'm quick to lose trust that Jesus wants the best for me. The reality is that he is there through the most difficult situations I face. He's there when things don't make sense and look hopeless. He's been there in the past, and he'll be here in the future.

I just need to remind myself.

Don't forget the ways God has been faithful in your past, trust him with what's happening right now and don't worry about what may happen in your future.

When things suck, and you're busy and overwhelmed, don't forget that your strength is in Jesus. He is the one that called you, and he is the one that will sustain you.

If you find yourself getting frustrated and caught up in the busyness, stop, take a moment and thank God for the opportunity to use your talents to help people meet Jesus. If Jesus is your focus, instead of the problems in front of you, you'll be better prepared to respond with grace instead of frustration.

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28 MSG)

Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for? (Matthew 16:24 MSG)

"Before God can use a man greatly, He must first wound him deeply."

"To get to another mountaintop, you have to go through the valley."

"Spiritual maturity is when you begin understand that our circumstances do not alter his character."

"Jesus loves it when we're raw and honest and not pretending everything is ok."

"He is greater than what I'm going through"

"God uses the pain in our lives for the sake of others."

"We can't give in or take shortcuts."

"Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid."

Why are you here? Burden + Opportunity = Calling

Calling x Gifting (what God made you to do) = MLP (Maximum Life Potential)

Your ministry is NOT your walk with Jesus.

God will not require something of us that he hasn't already given us.

There's nothing you will pour out that Jesus won't give you back.

Sometimes you just have to admit I don't really know who you are or trust you. From that God can work and help you grow.

Not taking a sabbath is disobedience.

People will follow why you do what you do rather than what you do.

Jesus had all kinds of people on his team regardless of their personality.

Things that happen to us are not accidents. Things may not make sense now, but Jesus has gone before us and prepared the way.

The things you do or don't do always make a difference.

We have to live out what is being preached from the stage more than anyone else in our church.

As leaders, we can't lead people to a place we're not already going.

You cannot be a disciple without discipline.

Pain is a reality.

Spend your life doing what you're passionate about.

You won't make it long term if you don't trust God. You learn to trust God by trusting God. You never trust God until you have to. God makes sure that you have to.

Do you believe that God wants to be for you and others what he says he will be in his word?

We can't minister to others and be unbelieving about their situation.

Only one thing in this life is inevitable—God's will.

Always have the choice: either God's sovereign or your a victim.

Walk in faith and don't give up.

If Joseph had never gone through prison, he never would have fulfilled his dreams or been ruler of a nation.

God always moved when things seemed inevitable.

Knowing why doesn't take away pain.

You are not an army of one.

Do you want to get well? Somebody has to go first.

God loves and and cares deeply for you and what's going on in your life.

Are you willing to do a little bit of work to see someone meet Jesus?

Because peter went after the one, God gave him an audience with everyone.

If he were here, he'd chase me down the street while laughing deep belly laughs. He'd walk with me down the sidewalk and let me talk about my day. He would give me a huge bear hug, smile and tell me everything's gonna be ok.

He'd sit with me and tell me he understands what I'm going through. Then he'd be quiet and just let me cry. He'd tell me it's ok to hurt. It's ok to not have all the answers. It's ok to be angry. It's ok to feel.

He'd tell me again and again that he just wants the best for me. And that even when things really suck, he's got my back. He'd tell me every day until I actually believed it were true. And on days when I'd forget, he'd simply smile and tell me again.

I like to think I'm ok, that I have everything under control, and most of the time I even fool myself. The truth is that I have no clue. I can't control anything, I can only pretend and trust.

But mostly I just need to trust. Trust that someone bigger than me has my back. Trust that he wants the best for me even when things suck. Mostly, just trust.

I know, because I used to be like that. I was raised in church, worked in church for years, always doing the right thing. I was more concerned about making people behave right. I was more focused with the outward appearance rather than the heart of a person.

I wanted them to stop cussing because I didn't like the "F" word, or to stop being depressed because Christians should never be depressed - they have Jesus and everything should always be perfect, right?

"I've had it with you! You're hopeless, you [religious people], you Pharisees! Frauds! Your lives are roadblocks to God's kingdom. You refuse to enter, and won't let anyone else in either." (Matthew 23:13-14)

I wanted people to just stop doing things that were wrong. I was so focused on the symptoms, that I completely forgot to consider the person I was judging. I never once wondered what was going on in their life that made them feel the way they felt.

• What if that person you're telling to stop using the "F" word is going through a crazy season of life and things suck at home?
• What if that person who is depressed and constantly down and negative, just needs a friend or someone to talk with and simply be there for them?
• What if the person you're ignoring is considering suicide because they feel lonely and like no one in the world cares enough to talk with them?
• What if that rebellious kid you wish would just behave is being abused by his parents?

It's so easy to try and fix the symptoms - Stop cussing, stop drinking, stop looking at porn, stop sinning, stop misbehaving. By focusing on the outward issues, it's easy to never look at the underlying issues of the heart.

In doing this, we train people to be fake. We teach them to pretend that everything is always happy and good when they're around us. Through our actions we tell them it's not ok to struggle with things in life. Then we sit back and wonder why people won't open up and talk with us about their issues. We wonder why people don't want to go to church with us. We wonder why people have such a disdain for Christianity. We can't understand why so many people call Christians hypocrites.

Perhaps it's because we're not acting like Jesus.

"You're hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You're like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it's all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh. (Matthew 23:27)

I've looked at verses like this for years and always thought to myself "God, I'm glad I'm not like that. I'm glad I'm a good person and have my act together. I'm glad I'm not religious" Yet I was completely blind to how I was looking down on people who weren't like me. People who were hurting.

Have you forgotten what you were like before Jesus saved you? Have you forgotten that He loved you despite the complete and utter mess you made of your own life? When you were sitting there in your own crap unable to clean yourself up, He loved you enough to call you by name and wipe off the shit you were covered in. He forgave you. He made you a new person on the inside. And he still forgives you even when you screw up. Even when you think you've done something unforgivable. Jesus is always there to rescue you and bring you back to himself.

Your past doesn't define your identity or your future. But may it be a constant reminder of what Jesus has saved you from. I pray that Jesus convicts your heart to help you see people like he sees them and to love them despite the messiness and the things we don't agree with. I pray that God uncovers the religious attitudes in your own life, and helps you to act more like Jesus.

Afterwards I felt strangely at peace, felt like I was glowing. I felt excited and happy. 3 hours later and I still feel this way. I don't quite understand it, but I'm thankful for it.

Tonight I was reminded of the times I've been ashamed to mention the name of Jesus for fear that people will laugh or reject me. Times when I knowingly sin because I want what I want. Of the times I've been angry at people and treated them like shit. Times when I hide and cover up my sin, and think there's no way Jesus or anyone could ever love me if they knew what I was going through.

A New Identity

I used to have this saying I really identified with: "Fucked up and in need of a saviour." I meant it as a good thing, to declare how bad I was.

Then the other day it hit me like an unexpected punch to the gut. I was fucked up and need of a saviour, but Jesus has saved me and made me new. I'm no longer the person I used to be. And it's all because of the amazing grace of Jesus.

I never want to forget my past because it reminds me ever so clearly of how awesome Jesus is. Even so, my past does not define me - now I have a new identity and it's found in Jesus.

Eventually, I left the church. I stopped tithing. I was jaded and cynical, frustrated at the hypocrisy, at the irrelevance, at not being able to be real with people, at not feeling able to talk with people about struggles in my life, and how everything else besides Jesus seemed important. I would still say I loved God, and wanted to know him more, but not being involved in a local church made that difficult.

During this time, I had been following NewSpring Church and listening to Perry regularly since 2008. I decided to visit the Anderson campus with some friends on August 29th, 2010. During the message, I remember Perry asking everyone to write down the date they met Jesus - I couldn't remember a date. He talked about how we always remember important dates in our lives - birthdays, anniversaries, etc, and that if you couldn't remember a date of when you met Jesus, you probably weren't saved. I was immediately convicted, my heart racing and palms sweating; I knew I had to go down front.

I vaguely remember the tears as I walked down the aisle, and physically nailed my name to the cross. I hadn't felt this much emotion about Jesus in quite some time. It was amazing and awesome and overwhelming.

I'm not sure I'll ever have the answer to whether or not I was saved before I walked down that aisle, but I do know that I met Jesus in a real way on August 29, 2010. That day began my journey and helped me start growing in my relationship with Jesus.

Once I got home, my life didn't change immediately. But over the past year and a half, God has continued to convict me, draw my heart, and help me relearn who Jesus really is. I started tithing again, and through this God has been teaching me to trust him in everything. This year, I committed to reading the Bible on a daily basis, and already I've seen God show me new ways of looking at verses I had already read a billion times. I feel like I have fresh eyes and a new perspective, and I'm continually amazed at all of the ways God teaches me and takes care of me.

Though my story isn't yet complete, I feel like I'm finally moving in the right direction, and I can't wait to see what God does next.

I was screwed up and in need of a Saviour, trying so hard to make it on my own. Short on grace and full of myself, I was too proud to ask for some help. Then you came along to right my wrongs and you gave me a second chance. You cleared my name and made me new, and now I am finally free.

I was standing there watching traffic drive slowly by while waiting for the fireworks. And even though I already knew this, I realized of the few things in life that I hate: moving slowly.

Moving slowly without purpose is even worse.

If you're disappointed and miserable, you didn't get there following Christ.

How To Find Your Purpose

1.) What Bothers Me? We won't be who God called us to be until we allow him to bother and disturb us.

2.) How Am I Gifted? God wants us to be who he called us to be rather than fit in. We have to stop trying to fit in to what everyone says is normal. Normal is miserable, sexually active and broke!

• What do I enjoy?
• What do I do well?
• How does this serve others?

The body of Christ will grow because of how you serve.

3.) What Opportunities Are In Front Of Me? God will drop the opportunity right in our lap.

4.) Am I Willing To Take A Risk?

You will never get to where God wants you to go if you're concerned about playing it safe.

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." - C.S. Lewis

It's so easy to lose focus of Jesus. Sometimes we think that the more we read the bible, the more we pray, or the more we do things for God the more He loves us and approves of us. This is so far from the truth!

I can recall so many times in my life where I would compare myself with others who were "bad" and pat myself on the back for being a good little christian. I thought I was better, or that God loved me more because i didn't sin as often, or as badly as others. In hindsight I realize what an arrogant, self righteous jerk I really was.

It begins.