"Confessions of a Bad Christian"

Website issues....

Dave Burchett — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 23:04:16 GMT

For some reason the server has dumped the last dozen or so posts. Even the server is a critic! While we try to figure out what happened I am re-posting the recent Father's Day series. Sorry if you get a repeat of those articles in your cyber mailbox.

Blessings and grace,
Dave

Leaving a legacy...Part 3

Dave Burchett — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 21:11:53 GMT

Every dad leaves a legacy. I have learned a few things through trial and many errors about being a dad who is trying to leave a positive legacy. Previous installments detailed two ways to leave a good legacy.

Love Your Wife
Affirm Your Kids

Today we will examine two more ways to establish a positive legacy. And we are adding a very dangerous twist today. I polled my three sons about my strengths and (gasp) shortcomings as their father. Before we get to those knee-buckling results llet me unveil the third way to leave a positive legacy as a dad.

3. Enjoy every mile of the journey

The best description I have heard about being a parent is this bit of wisdom: “Parenting…the days are long and the years are short.”

In his book, Being a Good Dad When You Didn't Have One, Tim Wesemann gives his readers a two-word piece of advice: "Lighten up!" He says that adults laugh an average of 15 times a day while children laugh 400 more times. "Sometime between childhood and adulthood, we lose 385 laughs a day! That's a great loss!" Wesemann says. "Maybe we need not only the faith of a child but the funny bone of one as well."

I agree. One of my favorite moments happened on a family trip. Brett is several years younger than his siblings. I was addressing his older brothers’ behavior when I snapped at the boys and said in my best dad voice, “You are acting like children." Brett was only five, and he thought I was including him in the accusation. He pondered the comment and then said, “But I am a children." The laughter from the backseat derailed my dad authority and it definitely lightened the moment. The family that can laugh together has a huge advantage in the journey.

The Psalmist wrote these words: "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward." Sometimes it is hard to remember what a blessing those little ones are when they are holding their breath at Wal-Mart. I encourage parents to enjoy every phase of their children’s journey. And I learned that what your children take away as favorite memories may be surprising. One of the questions I asked my sons was their favorite memories of time with me. I expected that they would remember the big trips we took together or some expensive outing. I was humbled by their responses.

Firstborn son Matt: "My favorite memories are throwing the baseball/football in the front yard of our Pecan Valley house, going to baseball games and growing up around sports."

Second born son Scott: "Playing catch in the backyard for hours on end, even when your knees hurt. Going to cut down Christmas Trees every November and stopping at the Dairy Queen on the way home."

Youngest son Brett: "You coaching my sports teams and going to cut down the Christmas tree."

It was the little things that counted for them. The memories that really mattered to them were things that cost me only time. Each one of the boys felt valued when they felt I had sacrificed or made a special effort to spend time with them. I thought the big things mattered the most but I was wrong.

4. Be a Role Model

The fourth way to leave a positive legacy is to model what you are teaching. Here is a powerful quote from Clarence Budington Kelland: “My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and he let me watch him do it.” Wow. I have seen that prove out in my own life. I can tell you exactly what my father modeled for me, but I would have a hard time remembering any of his lectures. I believe that is an overlooked component of the wisdom expressed in Proverbs: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." That training should include being a role model and then the verbal training will sink in. Being an authentic role model makes the message effective.

You are a role model for your children, like it or not. Your children will, to one degree or another, model their lives after you. You have inherited some of your father's characteristics and your children are inheriting some of yours.

Brett wrote in his responses, "you are my biggest influence for everything." Scary. Whether you know it or not (or mean to or not), you are influencing the lives of your children and your children's children.

You ARE a role model and every dad needs to reflect on that responsibility.

In Deuteronomy we find a great bit of advice for dads: “Just make sure you stay alert. Keep close watch over yourselves. Don't forget anything of what you've seen. Don't let your heart wander off. Stay vigilant as long as you live. Teach what you've seen and heard to your children and grandchildren.”

You are preparing your children to leave home. That is your job as parents. Someday, they'll take what they've learned from you and begin to apply it out in the real world. You've got approximately 18 years to get them ready. I have joked that Joni and I had a sign on their bedroom doors that read, “Checkout Time is 18 Years…No Exceptions!” But we both believed we were stewards of our sons with the charge of preparing them to leave.

When I asked my boys what I had taught them, this is what I read:

From Scott: "You taught me to love the Lord and trust Him with my life. Your spiritual growth over the past decade has inspired me and taught me a lot about how to grow in the Lord. You taught me to be loyal and hard working in everything I'm involved with, and most importantly, to never give up. Burchett's aren't quitters, even if they want to be sometimes."

From Brett: "You taught me how to be a strong Christian man and how to play sports."

From Matt: "Never quit something you started. Work hard. Do everything with excellence. Treat everybody with respect and genuine kindness."

Before you think that I am some really great Dad, let's return to the third question I asked the boys: what they wish I had done differently. Their responses were consistent and they saddened me. I share this in the hope that young dads will take this to heart.

Matt: "I wish you could have been home more."
Scott: "I wish you could have been home more."
Brett: "I wish you could have been home more."

And here is what I wish I had done differently. I wish I would have been home more. I cannot change the past. God is gracious and loving. My relationship with all of my boys is wonderful despite those misplaced priorities at times. Love does cover a multitude of sins. My sons know they are loved. They know they have my approval and respect. I am blessed by them.

Leaving a legacy...Part 2

Dave Burchett — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 21:10:56 GMT

Every dad leaves a legacy. The only question is what kind. The first step to leaving a positive legacy is to love your wife. For some readers that already has not worked out. That does not mean that you cannot leave a good legacy. There are many ways to redeem the father/child relationship. The second part of leaving a legacy that endures is to be an encouragement to your kids. Paul wrote this simple instruction to the church at Colossae.

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. (Colossians 3, NIV)

The Message translates this verse like this….

Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits.

I cannot remember hearing a lot of teaching on that verse over the years. It is really easy in this success mad culture to discourage your children. Nearly every dad wants his child to be successful and what is wrong with that desire? The simple answer is nothing if we balance that desire with love and affirmation and awareness of your child’s unique design. Sometimes we forget the journey we have traveled in our own lives. Frank Clark said that “a father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be." Ouch.

I came into this whole dad thing wanting a star athlete or a brilliant scholar. But I had forgotten one little detail. Where did I expect they would dig up those genes to be an All-American quarterback or Rhodes Scholar? I deepened my gene pool considerably when I married Joni but she can only contribute so much.

What I got were three guys ranging from average to very good athletic ability. Very bright but not valedictorians. What God gave me was three godly men of integrity. Men that are kind and loving. I have been blessed more by their character and wisdom than I could have possibly have been blessed by awards and trophies.

The dad factor may be more critical than we ever realized. Christian author/speaker Josh McDowell commissioned a definitive study of the last 17 school shootings. On the surface, the results were the same as dozens of other similar studies; there seems to be no "profile" of a teenage killer. They come from poor, middle class and rich homes. Some are nerds and geeks; some are the most popular kids in school. They come from a variety of races and religions. Some make good grades; some don't. Some have been bullied, others are the bullies. McDowell went below the surface and discovered a common thread that other studies missed or ignored. He found that in every case, the families of the murderers were superficially ;normal but were, in fact, dysfuntional when it came to the relationship of the children with their parents. In particular, the fathers were either absent or minimally involved in parenting.

After making this discovery, McDowell commissioned another study that involved 2,000 children ages 12 to 17, and 1,000 parents. The study revealed that children raised in a SINGLE PARENT home were 30% MORE LIKELY than the national average to be involved in drugs, alcohol, and violence. I can almost hear some of you saying, "That's no surprise. I've always felt that divorce was the major cause of youth violence. I'm glad WE have two parents raising our children."

Read on.

Adolescents raised in TWO PARENT families in which the father had a poor to fair relationship with his children were 68% MORE LIKELY than the national average to have problems with drugs, alcohol, and violence! That floored me. Two parents in the home are no defense against the problems we're discussing unless the father is close to his children. If he is not, his children are at more than twice the risk of children raised in single parent homes.

The final statistic shows us the answer to school violence as well as a host of other problems affecting our youth. Teenagers raised in two parent families in which the father had a good to excellent relationship with his children were 96% LESS LIKELY than the national average to become involved with drugs, alcohol, and violence.

These statistics show us that many of the things that we have assumed would protect our children will not necessarily do so. You can raise your children in a two parent family in a "good" neighborhood, send them to a "good" school, and even take them to church. But if there is a lack of emotional attachment, if there is no loving bond between the children and their parents, particularly the father, children of every background are at some risk.

I am not talking about being a perfect father. These kids (and even many of us) are simply looking for the affirmation and blessing of our earthly fathers.

When Scripture says that God is our Father, it is telling us that these needs can be met by Him. This is where our role as Christian dads becomes so important. There are no perfect earthly dads. But it is critical that we understand the impact that we have on our child’s relationship with God. Some may find it hard to get excited about the scriptural descriptions of God as a father because of the hurtful models of fatherhood they have experienced here on earth.

Some remember a father who was too wrapped up in his job, his buddies, and his hobbies to provide much support or affirmation. He might have been one of those men who believed that their only job was to bring home a paycheck, while mom was responsible for everything else. Others might recall a dad that was demanding, cold, and unapproachable. Children can tend to transpose their father experience when they think of God as Father.

I have talked to many men my age who are still desperate for the approval of their fathers. And I know that is true for women as well. Jim Valvano, the now deceased coach, said "My father gave me the greatest gift that anyone could give another person, he believed in me."

Yesterday I noted that I had asked my sons to critique my performance as a dad…both good and bad. Here is one comment from eldest son Matt.

The biggest lesson you taught me was to believe in my ability to accomplish things I never thought possible. From the kid who got C's in 8th grade math to going to graduate school at a great university. I could never have accomplished this without parents, and a father, that believed in me.

Don't EXPECT your children to be perfect. Don't expect them to meet all of your expectations…to fulfill all of your goals for them…to be what you want them to be. Be grateful for who God made your kids to be. Too many fathers try to live out their own lives through their children. Every child is different. They are not a clone of you (Thank God!).

My son Scott wrote about something that he wished I had done differently.

I wish that you would have made more of an effort to understand me and my personality at an earlier age. I think mom did a good job at this, but that might have just been because I opened up to her more.

This is a great example of how husbands and wives are a team. Joni told me that I needed to spend more time with Scott. She sensed what I did not. She told me that I gravitated to his brother who was more like me. She made me mad, hurt my feelings and made me feel like a bad dad. And thank God she did that. I became intentional about coaching Scott's teams and being with him. It still took a few years for us to really understand one another but I believe Joni's loving intervention saved our relationship. Today our relationship is awesome. Who knows what would have happened if my bride had not challenged me about that shortcoming in my relating to Scott.

Father’s Day might be a great time to give a gift back to your children. You can give the gift of forgiveness. Or you can ask for forgiveness.

Ernest Hemingway wrote a short story called "The Capital of the World". Hemingway told the story of a father and his teenage son. The son had sinned against his father and in his shame he ran away from home. The father searched all over Spain for him, but still he could not find the boy. Finally, in the city of Madrid, in a last desperate attempt to find his son, the father placed an ad in the daily newspaper. The ad read:

"PACO - MEET AT HOTEL MONTANA NOON TUESDAY. ALL IS FORGIVEN PAPA."

The father prayed that maybe the boy would see the ad and maybe - just maybe - he would come to the Hotel Montana.

And on Tuesday at noon, the father in Ernest Hemingway's story arrived at the Hotel Montana and he could not believe his eyes. A squadron of police officers had been called out to keep order among the eight hundred young boys named "Paco" who had come to meet their father in front of the Hotel Montana. Eight hundred boys named Paco read the ad in the newspaper and hoped it was for them. Eight hundred "Pacos" came to receive the forgiveness they so desperately needed.

And you can remember that all child want the approval of their fathers. If you have not done so, I encourage you to give the gift of approval this Father’s Day. Give your children the gift of believing in them. Step 2 to leaving a positive legacy as a Dad is simple but powerful. Affirm your children.

Leaving a legacy...Part 1

Dave Burchett — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 21:09:42 GMT

Occasionally people will observe our three wonderful sons and ask something like this. “What did you do to parent such great kids?” My response is simple. “I married Joni. The rest is a blur.” There is a little too much truth in that answer. She was and is remarkable. But we did partner in this grand adventure called parenting. Along the way I learned some things mostly by error and stumbling trial. Over the next day or two I will share what I have figured out with the disclaimer that I do not claim to be an expert. It is with humility and grateful appreciation to God that He has given me the gift of this family.

One thing I have learned in my journey is that every dad leaves a legacy. The only question is whether that legacy will be good, bad, or indifferent. Being a father is tough because we generally learn how to parent while on the job.

Ken Druck and James Simmons in The Secrets Men Keep discuss six major secrets men have. At the top of the list is that "men secretly yearn for their fathers love and approval." This is often without their conscious knowledge that this yearning manifests itself in the drive that many males have to prove themselves. The authors say:

It may surprise us to know that the most powerful common denominator influencing men's lives today is the relationship we had with our fathers .... Of the hundreds of men I have surveyed over the years, perhaps 90 percent admitted they still had strings leading back to their fathers. In other words, they are still looking to their fathers, even though their fathers may have been dead for years, for approval, acceptance, affection, and understanding.

This series is not about being a perfect dad. If it were, I would be completely unqualified to write it. This series is not about piling guilt on you for mistakes made. I am not looking for the result like the boy who said to his preacher on the way out, "Boy, that was a good sermon. My dad slumped way down today." This series is seeing what God’s plan is for leaving a positive legacy as an earthly father.

The first way to leave a good legacy is found in Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (NIV, Ephesians 5:25) The translation in The Message says this.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church--a love marked by giving, not getting.

The number one way to leave a great legacy for your children is very simple:

Love your wife.

If you are already 0 for 1…or 0 for 2…hang with me. God is a God of grace and compassion. He can redeem damaged relationships with children.

The idea of marriage as an absolute commitment is an endangered species. Actor Brad Pitt has confessed he knew his marriage to Jennifer Aniston would never last. He said in a recent interview that he never expected to be wed forever. He described his high-profile breakup as "beautiful." Pitt seemed frustrated about the public perception… "It's talked about like it failed. I guess because it wasn't flawless." Now comes Pitt's wisdom about marriage: "Me, I embrace the messiness of life. I find it so beautiful, actually. The idea that marriage has to be for all time - that I don't understand."

Our culture has devalued marriage to the point where far too many people enter relationships on a trial basis with no expectation that it can last. I will guarantee you one thing…that mindset will make it very likely that it will not last. Had Joni and I shared that value we would be a stat and our children would be from a divorced home. Why should followers of Jesus believe that marriage is for all time? A report by Warren Mueller revealed that where both parents attend church regularly, 72% of their children continue in the faith. Where only the father attends, that percentage drops to 55 percent, but where only the mother attends, just 15 percent of the children remain involved in the church.

Theodore M. Hesburgh wrote that the “most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother”.

Your children watch how you treat their mother. They WATCH … and they are LEARNING and FORMING their concept of marriage from YOU. You are creating a PATTERN, a BLUEPRINT for marriage with your children. I struggled as a husband because I had not seen that blueprint in my parents' marriage. My Dad was a good dad but my parents did not have a good marriage. Joni and I had to break the cycle because she also came from a difficult family situation. Because we broke the cycle our kids have seen a marriage that survived, and not only survived but is very happy. But we had to do a lot of learning on the job.

Part of my preparation for this series was a survey of my three sons…I know…it makes you want to hum the music and do that thing with the hands and knees they did at the beginning of the show. I asked my sons three questions and not one of them was “What is your quest” or “What is your favorite color”. A real sign of growth for me. Here are the questions.

What were their favorite memories with me?
What did they learn from me as a dad?
And what do they wish I had done differently?

Yeah…that last question scared me for one major reason. My sons are truthful. But I figured if I had done something really wrong in their eyes I wanted to seek forgiveness now. Plus I would have a written document so that if they turned up on Dr. Phil someday I can say I gave them a chance and they didn't say anything. Seriously, I thought the exercise would make them consider how they could be a better father someday…how they could break more cycles.

Our oldest son Matt wrote a little extra in his letter:

And thank you for being committed to Mom. It is a rarity to have a family that is not broken. But you gave up bigger things to make sure we stayed together and that has made all the difference.

If you are still able to control this one move it to the top of your list. The first step to leaving a good legacy as a dad is to love your wife!

Justifying Sin Is A Sad Task

Dave Burchett — Wed, 12 May 2010 15:38:44 GMT

Regular readers of the humble ramblings know that I am a recovering legalist. I spent about three decades trying to find the right set of performance tools to become righteous. Guess how that worked out?

I have such mixed feelings about my first church. I am grateful for the Gospel message they preached that led me to trust Jesus as my Savior. I am sad that they lived a joyless life of self-effort, guilt and self condemnation. In this particular theological flavor you could achieve a second stage of sanctification where you would not sin anymore. This was particularly tough for a young cynical teenager who saw “sanctified” people doing things that smelled and looked suspiciously like sin. I watched with frustration and sometimes amazement at the semantic hoops they jumped through to remain sinless.

They simply developed new language and rules for themselves. Here is a partial listing that I observed.

When I gossiped it was sin….
When they gossiped it was "sharing."

When I stood up for a belief I was stubborn…
When they were rigid they had the strength of their convictions.

When I made a mistake I was an immature Christian…
When they erred they were going through a "difficult time".

When I acted in self-interest I was selfish…
When they act in self-interest they were looking out for themselves because no one else would.

When I missed church I was undisciplined and letting down the fellowship…
When they missed it was because of their difficult week that I couldn’t even begin to understand.

When I didn’t work at a church function I was lazy…
When they didn't volunteer it was because they couldn't possibly take on another thing (heavy sighhhh as they lugged the cross behind them).

When I took initiative I was self-centered and controlling…
When they took charge they were following God's direction.

When I got angry I had a terrible attitude...
When they got ticked off they were "filled with righteous indignation". I had no doubt they were filled with something.

I think I have made the point. Anyone can justify sin and fake holiness with all sorts of clever nuance. But the way to deal with sin is to understand that my sin has already been justified. By grace. And because of that I am holy. Can’t work my way to righteousness. Righteousness is imputed to me by Jesus Christ.

This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement,through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus. (Romans 3, NIV)

Adam set the tone way back in the garden when he sinned and then hid when God sought him. When I try to work my way to righteousness I will invariably hide because I can’t do it and I am filled with guilt. My response to guilt is to hide in shame. There is no need to hide when you believe that your sin is forgiven and justified because of Christ alone. When you stop being hidden and let the light shine on your sin you suddenly and even surprisingly find that you can begin to mature in your faith. And the works that seemed so burdensome become joyful service of gratitude and love.

The Final Lesson From My Mom

Dave Burchett — Fri, 07 May 2010 12:43:42 GMT

(My Mom died three years ago. I share this article as a ray of hope for those who might be struggling with their relationship with their mother)

The last year of my Mom's life caused me to think of Al Michael's famous question from the 1980 Olympics. "Do you believe in miracles?"

I do believe in miracles. I have seen one.

I loved my Mom but our relationship was challenging. She was raised in a family where love was not expressed. She could be very negative and her comments had stung me over the years. I knew that she loved me fiercely but I will admit that I grieved for a more gracious expression of her love. My Mom could be really difficult.

As her health declined I prayed that her relationship with God would be clear to her and to her family. In the summer of 2006 I journeyed to Ohio to visit her. A group of Christian friends in Texas told me they would pray that I could discuss salvation with my Mom. I thanked them for their concern but in my heart I felt they were naive. They did not know my Mom.

Fast forward a few days. The conversation with my Mom was mundane. Out of nowhere she dropped this bombshell.

"How can you be sure that you are going to heaven?"

You could have knocked me over with a feather and I immediately thought of those saints in Texas praying for exactly this moment. And I felt a bit of shame because I was the naive one who doubted the power of prayer. I shared the gospel with my Mom. She assured me that she had trusted Christ as her Savior. The next question was nearly as surprising.

"What if you believed that Jesus is your Savior but haven't lived it?"

Wow. What do you say to that? I chose to tell her the truth. That she was a child of God but she had forfeited a lot of joy by not walking more faithfully with Him. She had likely missed chances to serve and probably many blessings the Lord had desired her to experience. Still, there was a nagging question in my mind that I lacked the courage to address. I knew there were people who had hurt my Mom deeply and she showed no signs of forgiveness. I was fairly certain she would take that bitter anger to her grave.

But Mom took those comments about living for Jesus to heart. She chose to live for Him with the rest of her days. She told my niece that she had prayed more in the last year than she had in her whole life. She regularly asked me to pray for her and told me she was praying for me and especially for Joni as my bride battled breast cancer. (Joni is now a healthy survivor)

My Mom began to regularly tell me she loved me. That was something you didn't say in her family. You were just supposed to know it. She told me she was sorry if she had hurt me with her words or actions. That was the first time I had heard those words from my Mom in 53 years. It was a powerful moment of grace and reconciliation between us. When I saw her the week before she died she kissed me and said, "you don't know how much you mean to me." But she was wrong. I finally did.

But the real miracle happened in her last days. My niece asked Mom about a woman she had felt so much bitterness and hatred toward. When I was told about her response the words sent chills through me.

"Oh honey. That was in the past. I have forgiven her."

What irony that I have written so much about forgiveness and my Mom gave me a miracle of forgiveness as her final gift. Forgiveness can happen. It is never too late. For those who think they cannot forgive I will tell you that with God it is possible. I witnessed a miracle. I am saddened that my Mom is gone but I am rejoicing in her victory. She was able to lay her burdens at the foot of the Cross and pass unencumbered into the presence of the Lord. And I will remember her final gift on this Mother’s Day.

Why Aren't His Arms Reaching?

Dave Burchett — Wed, 05 May 2010 18:30:10 GMT

(Here is this week’s iPod Devotional. A new one is posted every Monday at theFish.com)

I am a huge fan of the group Casting Crowns. So it is no surprise that a song from the Atlanta based group would come up in this series. The lyrics from the song "If We Are The Body" are convicting.

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching

And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

We are the Body of Christ. So why aren't His arms reaching? Why aren't His hands healing? I am afraid the answer is a hard truth. We don't care enough for the lost. We don't ache for the hurting. We don't sacrifice for the poor.

Today I had a disturbing realization. As I walked down the streets of San Francisco and saw dozens of homeless and hopeless people it occurred to me that I care far more about my immediate wants than I did about these lonely people's needs. Yeah, I know it sometimes feels overwhelming when you see the vast needs and incredible suffering. But I can do something. I could climb out of my cozy little Christian "Snuggie" and get a little dirty. Helen Keller once said, "I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do."

I am not trying to shovel guilt on you or myself. There is a place for nice things and entertainment and leisure enjoyment. That is part of the many blessings our God grants to His children. But the fact that I have too often spent more time (by far) reading about the sports page than I have reading God's Word is revealing. I spend too much time getting frustrated by the news instead of making a difference where I can. Maybe if we had been more intentional about "being" the Body of Christ the government would not have been tempted to do our jobs for us. I want the grace that God has given me to make my heart sensitive toward the poor and hurting and spiritually seeking. It is hard to spend much time in the New Testament and not realize our challenge to be the Body of Christ. Here is a very small sample.

But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? (1 John 3:17 ESV)

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. (Hebrews 13:16 ESV)

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. (James 2:14-17 ESV)

For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do. (Hebrews 6:10 ESV)

And he answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself." (Luke 10:27 ESV)

There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need. Thus Joseph, who was also called by the apostles Barnabas (which means son of encouragement), a Levite, a native of Cyprus, sold a field that belonged to him and brought the money and laid it at the apostles' feet. (Acts 4:34-37 ESV)

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4 ESV)

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2 ESV)

The charge of hypocrisy leveled at the church has a lot to do with our obsession with sin management over living a life of grace and service. If I am not am not living out of grace then His arms aren't reaching as far as they could. The lyrics continue…

Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

I know by the grace of God that there is a way. His love is the way. What if His people really cared? What if I really cared? Wouldn't it make a difference? There is one way to find out. That way is for us to take seriously that we are the Body of Christ. And then act accordingly. Straight talking James writes in the Book of James that "to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin."

I cannot argue that I do not know the right thing to do. My response will reveal my heart.

Redefining Gossip

Dave Burchett — Tue, 04 May 2010 20:09:01 GMT

There is a little saying that I have heard all of my life.

If you can’t say something nice about them…then don’t say anything.

Had I practiced that very wise advice I would have had many more “quiet times” in my life. I have not always practiced that simple principle even though I have read and nodded solemnly in agreement as I read James and Paul warn of the dangers of gossip and an uncontrolled tongue. Whether you call it venting or sharing it is always perilously close to gossiping. That is one of those “fine line” challenges. Like Dave Barry’s quote that “there’s a fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness’.” I would submit that there is a fine line between venting/sharing and gossip. Gossip is one of the favorite tools that Satan has in his toolbox.

Brooklyn Tabernacle takes gossip very seriously. New members hear this charge as they become members of the church.

“And now, I charge you, as pastor of this church, that if you ever hear another member speak an unkind word of criticism or slander against anyone—myself, another pastor, an usher, a choir member, or anyone else—you have authority to stop that person in mid sentence and say, ?Excuse me—who hurt you? Who ignored you? Who slighted you? Was it Pastor Cymbala? Let’s go to his office right now. He will get on his knees and apologize to you, and then we will pray together, so God can restore peace and unity to this body. But we will not let you talk critically about people who are not present to defend themselves. New members, please understand that I am entirely serious about this. I want to help resolve this kind of thing immediately. And meanwhile, know this: If YOU are ever the one doing the loose talking, we will confront you.”

If every church practiced this I suspect we have far less division in the church. An interesting thought about gossip comes from Frank A. Clark. “Gossip needn't be false to be evil - there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around.”

Ouch. That convicted me. I have vented and shared things that were true. Somehow that made me feel better that I was venting truth. But I later realized that my venting was not edifying to the body of Christ. I was not giving the grace that I had received from God. I may have been right but I was not righteous. King Solomon wrote that “a perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” How tragic. But that is happening every single day in the church. Later the wise King notes that “without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.”

So my challenge to you and to me (as I look uncomfortably into the mirror) is to not add any fuel to the gossip fire. I have too often added kerosene instead of kindness. I want to be tender and not tinder. I cannot use the lyric from the old Billy Joel song as an excuse that “I didn’t start the fire”. Jesus is asking us to not spread the fire and He especially is asking us to extinguish it with grace.

Where The Healing Begins

Dave Burchett — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:32:22 GMT

(The weekly iPod Devotional at theFish.com.)

I interact with a lot of wounded people. My books and a big hunk of my writing have been directed toward those who are beaten up by life, religion and too often by other people in the church. After writing a book on healing and restoring wounded lambs I was hurt and hurt others in a ministry situation. It was humbling and discouraging. Really discouraging. I was about ready to don the martyr's robe and limp to the finish line. And then something happened. A song titled “Where The Healing Begins” by one of my favorite groups, Tenth Avenue North, describes a bit of that journey.

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

All of those years of working hard (and then harder) to be Godly and I found out to my great sadness that it wasn't enough. Not only was self-effort not enough it was counterproductive to my desire to experience God's presence and love. The walls so carefully constructed were, in fact, see-through to those who really knew me well. In my sadness and tiredness God smiled because I was finally ready for grace. At the point of brokenness I was ready for the healing to begin.

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark

Coming to the point where I was broken and realizing my own inability to walk this journey of faith is where the healing began for me. Letting the walls down and trusting God and others with who I really am is where the healing continued. Understanding and trusting that I am completely forgiven and my past is completely forgotten is where the healing became real. Knowing that Jesus loves me desperately on my worst day is where the healing began to translate to the daily walk.

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

For too many years I danced that awkward and ugly dance of hiddenness and shame. For so many anguished years I thought that if I was a better Christian this wouldn't be happening. If I prayed/studied/fasted/read/attended more church events I would be more Godly. I was depending on the wrong source.

When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins

I love the image of grace invading the darkness and sparks of healing flying as the truth about me was set free. I am a child of God who is deeply loved. For decades I lived with a God who I suspected had a contractual obligation to love me because of Jesus but who was generally disgusted with me. I fought grace because it seemed too easy. Not spiritual. Not enough sacrifice. Not enough obedience. Not enough...me. My friend John Lynch recently wrote this beautiful observation.

"Grace is not to free us from obeying the heart of God. Grace is the nutrient-rich soil that seeds of truth drop into so they're not choked by the self-condemnation of failure. Instead, no longer afraid of God's disgust, we can obey God from the heart rather than from compliance. And we grow into a beautiful, healthy tree-giving shade to others."

Paul wrote this to the Church at Ephesus.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2, NLT)

My fear of punishment led to strained and inconsistent compliance. Grace and forgiveness have led to joyful obedience nourished by gratitude and love. That is the product of the healing power of grace and I second my brother from Taursus. I can take NO credit for this.

Spiritual Implosion?

Dave Burchett — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 18:24:32 GMT

A recent trip to New York included the usual trips to the Bronx and the new Yankee Stadium. Across the street the once proud “House that Ruth Built” was being slowly demolished. About one-third of the stadium was still upright. It was a sad sight. I recalled the recent and very different demise of Texas Stadium in Irving, Texas. In about a minute that once grand structure came crashing down in a spectacular implosion. The demise of something important in your life is sad whether it comes by agonizing demolition or dramatic implosion.

I thought of fellow sojourners of faith whose once solid foundation of belief has been destroyed. For some it seemed like their spiritual demise came out of nowhere. A spiritual implosion if you will. But the truth is that there is rarely a quick implosion of faith. It almost always occurs slowly over time. Bringing down Texas Stadium took months of targeting the foundation and key structural supports. After thousands of hours of planning and work the building came down in about a minute. But that dramatic minute was just the final result. So it is with our faith foundation. The Enemy plants a explosive device of doubt on one part of the foundation. Self-effort to fix sin issues weakens another part of the structure. Hiding who you are from God and others fatally weakens more support structures. Forgetting to nourish the soul with God’s Word rusts the steel of perseverance. Failing to pray causes cracks to become fissures. And then a wound, a broken relationship, an illness, a betrayal or a loss causes the button to be pushed and the detonation occurs. Faith implodes. But it was not that one issue or event that caused faith to blow up. It was the slow destruction of faith’s foundation over time. Jesus described the process in the Gospel of Luke.

“So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say? I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built. But anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.” (Luke 6, NLT)

Check your foundation. Build only on the Solid Rock of Jesus. Then you can stand against whatever the world throws at you.

Christian "Dogma"

Dave Burchett — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 15:44:57 GMT

Regular readers of these humble ramblings (all tens of you) know what an over the top dog lover I am. So this little nugget in the cybermailbox from my friend Clint caught my attention.

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side of which came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough." (Source unknown)

I love that. That email reminded me of a story I told in my extremely modest selling book “Bring’em Back Alive” about our Golden Retriever Charlie. My spiritual epiphany from Charlie came after he developed a large tumor under his front leg that made walking difficult. We took him in for what would be a rather serious surgery at his ripe old canine age of twelve. The vet did a masterful job in removing the growth and taking care of Charlie. We were called to the animal hospital to pick him up. We waited as they brought Charlie out. He shuffled slowly out and I was taken aback by his appearance. Charlie was trembling, frightened and appeared to be in some pain. His head was down and his perpetual motion tail was strangely still. He seemed confused and disoriented. Then I walked over to Charlie and simply touched him. Almost immediately he quit trembling and he made a valiant attempt to wag his tail. We carefully got him into the car and took Charlie home to heal.

As I reflected on that scene it struck me that Charlie's reaction to my touch and mere presence was a wonderful illustration of how Jesus comforts (or desires to comfort) me. When I (his master) touched Charlie he was comforted. His pain was not gone. He was still frightened. He was still a bit disoriented and unsure. Charlie's circumstances hadn't really changed at all. But he knew that his master was there and that made it better. What a picture that is of how the touch of Jesus enables us to respond when we are frightened, in pain, disoriented and confused. We need to remind ourselves that Jesus never promised that all trouble would vanish when we believe in Him. Jesus did promise that He would be there and that would be enough. But the tough question arises…do we truly believe that? My prayer for myself and for you today is that we will seek, realize, and be comforted by the touch of the Master in times of difficulty. Paul realized that contentment is not found in good circumstances. He wrote these words from prison while chained to a Roman soldier.

I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians, The Message)

I am so grateful that Paul did not write I “am” content and I “know” the secret even though those words could have been true. He was divinely inspired to honestly write that he had “learned” to be content and he had “learned” the secret of being content. It did come naturally or easily to Paul either. Don’t be discouraged. If you are following Jesus and seeking the touch of the Master then you are learning as well. Contentment is learning how to be present in the present with Jesus. Our nature is to not enjoy the moment at hand and the blessings that usually surround us. Satan would have us living in regret of the past and fear of the future. Jesus said to follow Him. He told us our past is forgiven and our future is in His Hands. Enjoy the moment. Seek the touch of the Master. And continue “learning” to be content. It will change your life.

Here's To You Mr.Robinson

Dave Burchett — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 15:03:08 GMT

(This is an annual revisit of one of the great stories in sports. Something to take your mind off of tax day)

April 15^th is not my favorite day of the year. Traditional tax day is never fun for a guy who is organizationally challenged. My idea of being prepared is having everything in one box. But I was heartened to find that April 15^th is a great day for baseball fans.

Jackie Robinson made his major league debut at first base for the Brooklyn Dodgers on that date in 1947. It was a historic and significant day for baseball but maybe more so for our country. You can argue that the American civil rights movement was ignited when Robinson came to bat in Dodger Blue. The journey for Robinson was difficult at best and nearly impossible at worst.

Many Dodgers players, mostly Southerners led by Dixie Walker, threatened to walk if forced to play with a black player. That ended when Dodger management let them know in no uncertain terms that they could keep walking to the unemployment line. I often write about the pain that is caused by “bad” or thoughtless Christians. Can you imagine the pain that Robinson felt to have his teammates reject him for only one reason?

But one teammate reacted in a way that I wish all serious and thoughtful Christians would emulate. Team captain Pee Wee Reese was an unlikely ally for Robinson. He was born in segregated Louisville, Kentucky, and the odds were that Reese would be a part of the boycott against a black player. But the diminutive Pee Wee Reese proved to be a giant of a man one day in Cincinnati. During infield practice the Redleg players were screaming at Jackie with all of the usual hateful epithets. And then the venom was distributed to Reese. They were yelling things at him like "How can you play with this (epithet)?", as Jackie stood uncomfortably at first base. Pee Wee went over to him and put his arm around him and smiled. A silence fell over the Reds dugout and the fans witnessing this amazing act of grace, Jackie smiled back.

At Reese's funeral, Joe Black, another Major League Baseball black pioneer, said: "Pee Wee helped make my boyhood dream come true to play in the Majors, the World Series. When Pee Wee reached out to Jackie, all of us in the Negro League smiled and said it was the first time that a White guy had accepted us. When I finally got up to Brooklyn, I went to Pee Wee and said, 'Black people love you. When you touched Jackie, you touched all of us.' With Pee Wee, it was No. 1 on his uniform and No. 1 in our hearts."

Robinson later wrote this sentiment to Reese in a book inscription.

"Pee Wee whether you are willing to admit what you being just a great guy meant (a great deal) to my career, I want you to know how much I feel it meant. May I take this opportunity to say a great big thanks and I sincerely hope all things you want in life be yours.”

We need a lot more Pee Wee Reese’s in the body of Christ. We need men and women who are willing to step up for others when it may not be the best action for personal gain. We need men who are brave enough to look hatred and bigotry in the eye and call it by its name. April 15^th was a day that demonstrated the greatness of two men. We need men who have the courage to emulate both Jackie Robinson and Pee Wee Reese in our walk with Jesus. The Apostle Paul had some good advice to accomplish that goal.

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ's law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. Gal 6 Msg

I want to be willing to stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. As I meditate on the gift of grace and redemption I received through the Cross I wonder how I can do anything else?

Be Careful What You Pray For

Dave Burchett — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 18:09:01 GMT

Today I asked a friend to pray for me to honestly live out the truths of grace in a tough environment. I know, I know. Be careful what you pray for because God will often answer in unexpected ways. I have been praying that prayer for myself recently and I have already had a couple of situational at bats. The first time I had a bloop hit. The second time I swung and missed with the fury of Casey at the Bat.

Pitchers know that every hitter (except Vlad Guerrero) has a location in the strike zone where they are likely to miss. My weakness in the zone is being quick to judge and quick to distance from those who are not walking the walk. I love the way that my oft-quoted buddies at Truefaced put it.

“When we view other Christians as sinners trying to be saints instead of saints who still sin then we give ourselves permission to judge them.”

God’s Word says that we are saints. He sees Christ in Dave Burchett even when I swing and miss. I am righteous because of Jesus. I can’t work my way to sainthood. I can live out of who I am and allow God to love through me. Grace compels me to walk toward my fellow Christians instead of away from them. One thing I need to remind myself daily is this simple fact.

I don’t have any idea what other people are going through.

There is a powerful song by the country group Sawyer Brown about how infrequently we stop to consider that other people might be enduring real trials. Here is a sample of the lyrics from the song “They Don’t Understand”.

Everybody's busy with their own situation
Everybody's lost in their own little world
Bottled up, hurried up trying to make a dream come true
They don't understand
Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow
Maybe we should stop and take a little time
'Cause you never really know what your neighbors going through
They don't understand

I remember driving away from one of Joni’s early doctor appointments after her breast cancer diagnosis. Joni was driving her car as I followed. She was distracted (imagine that) and missed her turn. She drove forward to the next opportunity to turn left and double back. Because she temporarily blocked the left lane a guy laid on his horn and started gesturing. I remembering thinking that this guy was not a quality human being (rough translation of my thoughts). I wondered if it would make a difference in the attitude of this, uhhh, not really nice homosapian if he knew what was going through my wife’s mind. He was busy worrying about his 20 second delay as she was thinking about her health, her family, her job, and maybe her life.

I am humbled again that somehow God is patient with me as I work this out. Regular readers know of my admiration for the group Casting Crowns. The song “Who Am I” comes to mind in this context.

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.

Take a moment to meditate on that. Then take a moment to meditate on a later verse.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.

That God sees my sin and looks on me with love is mind boggling. How can I accept that love and not at least attempt to offer it to others? Because there is not a (Christian cussing warning) dang thing that I have done to deserve mercy like that. From a human perspective that person who is quick to judge probably doesn’t “deserve” grace. But did you? I know I didn’t.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I give my space to Paul of Taursus to wrap this one up.

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection,and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. (Romans 12, NLT)

Praying for a Wounded Soul

Dave Burchett — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 18:48:13 GMT

Most of the responses to my humble ramblings are encouraging and gracious. Sometimes the spiritual hall monitors smack me with their “ruler of truth” if they disagree with my theology. They seem to love that a little too much. But some responses stick with me and pierce my heart with sadness. I received such an email recently. The writer only identified himself/herself as “collegestudent” and gave me no way to respond. So I hope the writer is still checking in now and then. This is a place where I hope you can find grace and encouragement. Here is the email I received.

your blog has brought me some measure of... peace? hope? some kind of positive emotion amongst the intense turmoil i have found myself in lately.

I've known may ex-Christians. most of their reasons for not attending church, though most still believe in God, consisted of basically "bad Christians".

I regret attending a.... religious... college. I've never been around more lying, cheating, hypocrites in my life. and for the most part that doesn't bother me. we are all human. we make mistakes. but the back-stabbing, holier-than-thou attitudes, and lack of mercy and Christianity love for one another is the final straw. I am disgusted with my fellow believers. but i fear punishment for calling anyone out on it.

I am hated. for things and reasons i do not know. all i have shown others is love, and in return i have received hate.

all i can do is run to God. and try to ignore people who have nothing better to do than to tear others apart. christians is a term used to describe saved/born again believers. not people who claim to be christian because they went to church every easter sunday until they were 12.

That makes my heart hurt because I know this note represents thousands and thousands of others who feel that pain. I know the responses that this wounded soul would get in some churches.

“Suck it up. Try harder. Read the Word more. Do a Bible Study. God has not left so it must be you. Be more disciplined.”

I know that is what they would hear because that is what I heard when I struggled. You need to do more. And the implied message was that I wasn’t worth enough for them to walk through the valley with me. “Try harder. Good luck!” My message to “collegestudent” is that you are worth it. There is a better place.

Legalism/moralism takes the sweet Gospel of Jesus Christ and mixes in some “churchified” version of the law. Church by-laws occupy equal footing with God’s Word. Righteousness is no longer about Christ but about right behavior as only they define it. Moralism cherry picks verses that support behavioral control while conveniently ignoring dozens of verses about grace, forgiveness, kindness, love, gentleness and forbearance.

Focusing on right behavior can make you moral and perhaps a good person. It does not make you righteous. Such focus is not much different (if at all) from an agnostic or sporadic church-goer who really tries hard to do right and moral things. Tim Keller wrote this provocative thought about legalism in his wonderful book The Reason for God.

The devil, if anything, prefers Pharisees—men and women who try to save themselves. They are more unhappy than either mature Christians or irreligious people, and they do a lot more spiritual damage.

Without a doubt. I have been damaged. I have seen loved ones damaged. I have damaged others. I hate legalism but I don’t hate legalists. I hurt for them. I suspect they are as tired, miserable and wondering what happened to their once joyous message of the Gospel as I was. What happened is that we take God’s amazing grace and mix in our own interpretation of the law. Never watching an R-rated movie or touching alcohol does not make me righteous. Going to church six times a week does not make me righteous.

Righteousness is entirely because of Christ. Nothing I have done or will do will make me righteous. I spent three decades trying to be “righteous”. When I hit a dry spell I would try harder, read more books, buck up and beat myself up because I felt so distant from God. When I failed again I disliked myself more and tried harder and God seemed even more distant. I wrote a book about what to do with lambs that are wounded by the church and THEN I got wounded again by the church. It was like God was mocking me. I had reached the end of my spiritual rope. I cried out to Jesus something deep and insightful along these lines.

“I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!”

God does not get insulted by all-caps. In fact, I imagine that Jesus smiled at that point because I was finally ready to trust Him and not myself. I had reached the point of brokenness that allowed me to really let Him into my heart. I reached the point where I no longer had to be right. I had reached the point where I didn’t want to wear a phony mask of holiness. I had reached the point where I was willing to trust God completely with everything about me. I had reached the point where I was ready for grace. I had reached the point where I was willing to believe what God says is true about me. That I am completely forgiven. I am completely loved. I am completely changed because of Christ. I am completely empowered with the Holy Spirit to mature into all of those things that are already true about me. I am righteous not because of anything I have done but entirely because of Christ. God used a book called Truefaced to teach me these truths. Please read that book or the novel Bo’s Cafe that also communicates the theology of grace. You can download the introduction to the message for free. Please check it out.

If you are tired enough, discouraged enough, wounded enough and ready to scream you can’t do this anymore then I have good news. You are ready for grace. God is waiting for you with arms wide open to love you and to refresh you with His grace. Moralism is a dead end street to misery. There is a better road. What have you got to lose?

Smile and Live Longer!

Dave Burchett — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 22:18:54 GMT

On April 6th I added another year to the body odometer. Even if I could roll it back the gray and wrinkles would give away the deception. So I choose to embrace my journey to geezerhood. A line in a story from the Dallas Morning News today gave me some hope.

People who have big smiles live longer.

How about that!

That statement was based on a study done by researchers at Wayne State University. According to the story by Shari Roan of the Los Angeles Times the study used information from the Baseball Register to look at photos of 230 players who debuted in professional baseball before 1950. The players' photos were enlarged and a rating of their smile intensity was made (big smile, no smile, partial smile). The players' smile ratings were compared with data from deaths that occurred 2006 and 2009. The researchers then corrected their analysis to account for other factors associated with longevity, such as body mass index, career length, career precocity and college attendance.

For those players who had died, the researchers found longevity ranged from an average of 72.9 years for players with no smiles (63 players), to 75 years for players with partial smiles (64 players) to 79.9 years for players with big smiles (23 players). This isn't a bunch of psycho-hooey, the authors said. Smiles reflect positive emotion.

So there you have it. Put on a big smile and you can count on 79.9 years (your actuarial results may vary). Even a partial smile will buy you a few more years.

I wrote an article a while back that featured a Peanuts comic strip. Charlie Brown's sister Sally struggled to spread frozen butter on her toast. Finally she exclaims, "Nobody told me life was going to be this hard!"

I can understand Sally's frustration.

Life is hard. Sometimes even more difficult than frozen butter. Things happen that were not in the brochure. Or at least that is what I once believed. In fact that very information is in the brochure. The Bible is very clear that life will be a journey of struggling to spread frozen butter and worse (that is a paraphrase). Much worse. The “frozen butter times” are part of the journey. God has given us a wonderful gift that we too often leave unwrapped. Even if we have unwrapped this gift we too often leave it unused in the toolbox. The gift is laughter. The following excerpt is from my sporadically selling book "Bring'em Back Alive - A Healing Plan for those Wounded by the Church."

I believe a sense of humor is one of God's gifts to help get us to the finish line. One of the things I learned from writing When Bad Christians Happen to Good People is well stated by humorist Dave Barry. "No matter what happens," Barry writes, "somebody will find a way to take it too seriously." AMEN, Brother Barry! Some people take and took some of my observations way too seriously.

An examination of the life of Jesus would indicate that He possessed a sense of humor. The writers of Scripture did not set out to author a joke book so you won't find the phrase "a Sadducee, a Pharisee and a Roman walk into a bar." Still, you find glimpses of humor and sarcasm in the words of Jesus. For example, I can see the humor in this exchange when the disciples came running up and asked Jesus the following question.

"Did you know how upset the Pharisees were when they heard what you said?" Matthew 15:12 (MsgB)

I can see them looking at Jesus and waiting to hear Him say something like, "Really? I had better go get that straightened out. The Pharisees are some important guys." I expect the Lord's answer first stunned and then amused them.

"Forget them. They are blind men leading blind men. When a blind man leads a blind man, they both end up in the ditch." Matthew 15:14 (MsgB)

You will also note that Jesus was an oft invited guest at weddings and banquets to the point where those appearances drew the ire of the Pharisees. Think about it. If Jesus was a holier than thou, uptight religious, suck the air out of the room sourpuss would you want Him at your wedding party? A deadly serious, stuffy theologian type would likely not be an "A" list party invitee either. Jesus must have been able to laugh and enjoy the common fellowship of others and he was obviously welcome and desired at the festivities. Let's join Luke at Levi's dinner party that included some unsavory people and see what happens.

Levi gave a large dinner at his home for Jesus. Everybody was there, tax men and other disreputable characters as guests at the dinner. The Pharisees and their religion scholars came to his disciples greatly offended. "What is he doing eating and drinking with crooks and 'sinners'?" Jesus heard about it and spoke up, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? I'm here inviting outsiders, not insiders-an invitation to a changed life, changed inside and out." They asked him, "John's disciples are well-known for keeping fasts and saying prayers. Also the Pharisees. But you seem to spend most of your time at parties. Why?" Jesus said, "When you're celebrating a wedding, you don't skimp on the cake and wine. You feast. Later you may need to pull in your belt, but this isn't the time. As long as the bride and groom are with you, you have a good time. Luke 5:29-34 (MsgB)

I am not trying to be flippant (this time) but clearly Jesus knew how to party in the good sense of the word. He knew how to interact warmly with others and connect with those around Him. And He knew where to find those who needed the touch of forgiveness the most.

I also think about the eclectic group of followers that Jesus assembled. They were a fascinating blend of common laborers and professional types. Imagine today if Christ went to the local pier to recruit some fishermen, dropped by the IRS to pick up a follower, then over to the medical clinic and so on. This would be (at least initially) a fairly coarse group. I don't suspect that the earthy sense of humor possessed by such men was immediately dispatched when they dropped their nets to follow Jesus. Part of any healthy and dynamic group relationship is having fun together. I believe that there were times when Jesus and the twelve told jokes, fish stories and made fun of the Pharisees. I think that Jesus understood that the language and topics of those outside the faith may be a bit uncomfortable. John Wesley once walked through the London market with a young man who desired to join the ministry. The coarse language offended the young man and he clearly wanted to leave. But Wesley told him to, "Stay, and learn to preach."

So let's all join in that familiar Sunday School song with a slight lyrical modification…

If you're happy and you know it,
Tell your face,
If you're happy and you know it,
Tell your face.
If you're happy and you know it,
Then it seems your face should show it.
If you're happy and you know it,
Tell your face.

A lack of humor in the church apparently this has been a problem for a while now. Teresa of Avila prayed this simple prayer in 1582, "From somber, serious, sullen saints, save us Oh Lord." Amen…and Amen. Laughter is a gift from God. Don’t be afraid to enjoy it. Smile broadly! You might even add a few years to the odometer!