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Dawn Is Breaking

2012-05-31T01:22:00.016-07:00

To feel up to date on happenings in the publishing industry, you really need to follow it like Perez Hilton does celebrity gossip. Okay, maybe not quite as voraciously but you need to pay attention to a few things at least. The problem is, there are so many sites and blogs out there vying for your attention that following more than a handful isn't viable.

Personally I'm as finicky about sites as Goldilocks was about her porridge. The site can't post too frequently, it can't post too infrequently, it has to have longish articles, it has to have non-repurposed content, it has to blah blah blah. A guy's gotta have standards right? In my never ending quest to pare down my RSS feeds, I've had to de-follow anything that has to do with the following topics. Or at least stop taking the time to read articles about these subjects:

Is Amazon going to kill everyone, circle one: yes/no/maybe. Wouldn't you rather read about Amazon's warehouse working conditions?
The future of publishing. I've read too many of these. See above. Quick answer: nobody knows.
Going indie versus traditional. Especially the "I decided to do this and it's been so great" perspective. Hello can we say super biased? Of course you love the one you're doing!
How much more money you can gain by ePublishing. 70% royalties is more than 25% or whatever, we know, we know. Yes, as writers we suck at math but we're not that inept. Greater than, equal to, abacus schmabacus.
Are eBooks better/worse than real books. I'd prefer to debate this one in person at social gatherings with lots of acquaintances. "But I love the smell! But I love the convenience! Everyone just stop and look at this (inevitably not) hilarious YouTube video!"
How-to articles. I'm torn because I do want to know how to effectively build worlds, create compelling secondary characters, and end my chapters with suspense but really, I've gotten this far in life without knowing any of the above so why start learning things now.

Actually, here's the site that I've had to quit the most: The Passive Voice. I'm not gonna lie, the post titles used to always get me but I decided to stop following because most of the articles were excerpts and links to other articles. It was starting to get very HuffPo-y. (I don't even know what that means, I just wanted to say it.)

It's aggravating to just read the first fifty words of every article, which is what The Passive Voice tends to do. Give me the whole damn thing or give me death. I refuse to click through anymore. The jaunty "link to the rest at xxx" link placed at the bottom of each post insults me. It used to be a constant struggle to figure out if this teaser would be worth clicking through for. I've decided it never is and just stopped following the site entirely. Maybe you'd enjoy it though. Maybe.

There are a few sites that remain must-follows. I am talking about The Millions, Bark, NYT's The Book Bench, Nathan Bransford's blog, and Mike Shatzkin's Idea Log. I've tried quitting them all at one point or another but can't seem to ever do it. The Millions especially. I want to stop but I'm just too weak.

The thing I like best about these particular sites is that they are either focused on providing me with nice news aggregation or they have content that can't be found elsewhere. There's a word for this latter bit: original. Always a huge plus. Also, aside from Branford's blog, there's not a lot of "what do you think dear reader?" requests. I'm beginning to dislike those too.

I should really revamp my YA blog roll actually. There's been many changes. In the meantime, if you read a lot of longish articles, I can't recommend Instapaper enough. Nowadays I save everything using Instapaper bookmarklets and return to read them later. It's improved my RSS flow quite a bit. I even got the paid version of Instapaper for five bucks. Yes, me, paying for apps. It's a brand new day.

In unrelated but really important things, this new Les Misérables movie is totally unnecessary but if you're just going to throw Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Helena Bonham Carter, and Anne Hathaway at me, I'll take it. Still, let's not kid ourselves here. With Avengers hype now over, the most anticipated movie of the year is Magic Mike. We all know Soderbergh deserves an Oscar for this. I'm already on my feet for the inevitable standing ovation.

The Spirit of the Age

2012-05-23T00:33:00.001-07:00

We all know how trends work. There's a ramp up, a peak, and then a fall. Similarly, you can be early, on time, or late for these things. That's the game I've been playing with myself recently, trying to figure out what kind of stuff I've been early or late on.

For example, I was relatively early on Ryan Gosling, right with the mainstream for TailSpin, and distressingly late on coconut water. You can be early/on time/late for just about anything -- assuming they came close to ubiquitousness. Being early on something that never blew up doesn't count. We're aiming for mainstream exposure here.

You'll know something is worthy of consideration if you can proudly exclaim, "I called ____ back in ____!" I don't know about you but the thrill of being ahead of the curve on something is a natural high. When I rule the world, awards will be handed out for this sort of thing. Here's a great example of a trendsetter in action from The Graduate. See how Mr. McGuire was trying to call that out? Plastics! (Okay I know that's not what that scene meant...)

Another way of looking at it is as described in Scott Westerfeld's So Yesterday where the "cool pyramid" is defined as (from top to bottom): Innovators, Trendsetters, Early Adopters, Consumers. For the purposes of this exercise, we're looking to see if you were an early adopter, an on time consumer, or a late consumer. If you were an innovator or trendsetter, you're already way too cool for this game. If you invented the Internet or something, get the hell out of here, nobody likes a braggart.

Rules
For each item, there has to be an identifiable peak, or period/moment when they were huge.
You're not late to the party if you weren't alive during the time of their prominence.

This last one is important. Take shell toes for example, the Adidas Superstar. They were obviously huge in the 70s and early 80s but then had a resurgence in the late 90s and early 2000s. Well I wasn't around for the first go around but jumped on the bandwagon for Round Two. Right on time I'd say. Using the same criteria, I can't be early or late for Michael Jackson.

Here's a sampling of my list so far:

Early (Bellwether): Febreze, Ryan Gosling (The Believer), Twilight (2007), downloading music, Mad Men, real-time strategy games (Herzog Zwei), Tamagotchi, Palladia Music Channel, man purses (2000), Azealia Banks, Scarlett Johannson (Ghost World), blogging (2000), ramen, Malcolm Gladwell (pre-Tipping Point), Sidekick aka Danger Hiptop, big ill-fitting glasses (every FOB is ahead on this), TED Talks, argyle socks, Really Simple Syndication, Kirby, PDAs (Handspring), iPods, The Office (British version), fantasy sports (middle school)

On Time (Lemming): NKOTB, Survivor, Twitter, Emma Stone, Martika, "Kocomo," Jersey Shore, Kat Von D, boba, Frank Gehry, shell toes, Glee, Top Gun, Razor scooters, TGIF on ABC, raving, The Dougie, snowboarding, 4-color pens, Deion Sanders, Beanie Babies, ICQ, wallet chains, parachute pants, eReaders, Game Boy, stickers

Late (Sloth): Woody Allen, JNCOs, Kanye West, MySpace, Johnny Cash resurgence, sushi, Felicity, The Biebs, "Crush On You," boxer briefs, Consumer Electronics Show, John Hughes movies, most hip hop dance crazes, coconut water, portable CD player, Battlestar Galactica, in the know slang words

Missed, some happily, some not on purpose (Dodo): Simpsons, The Wire, Meryl Streep, peg leg jeans, The Running Man, Lost, kombucha, overalls, beets, Adult Swim

As you can see, personal trends emerge. My profile is early on things available electronically; right with most of my generation camped out in front of the television; but generally clueless throughout most of the Eighties. Oh well, all fads aren't created equal, missing a few is probably a great thing.

An extra fun part of this game is to track where I got my early stuff from. For example, my friend Victor put me onto Mad Men right before the hype. And my friend Michael pushed me ahead on Mayer Hawthorne because he couldn't stop talking about him ("This guy went to my high school!").

Different people are consistently ahead on various things. One person may always be late on Internet memes but way ahead on the next must-try food item. People are attuned to different stations and nobody can be up on everything (Actually I know some people who seemingly are up on everything, and I'm confused about how they do it.) It's useful to know which friends are which in each category so you know whether to take what they're saying with a grain of salt or not.

That's not to say that being late the party is a bad thing. No judgement calls here. I mean, it's important to know when something has hit the mainstream right? What else will you talk about at dinner parties? A good rule of thumb: If it hits the cover of Time, your local newspaper, the back section of US World & News Report, or heavens, the New York Times for a trend piece, it's about to nosedive and you're late.

Another good use for non-early friends is to know when something has really hit its peak. "Wow, it even reached him/her? It's officially everywhere now!" Don't be embarrassed if you're that person. No big deal. Just be that change, you know?

Throwback Thursday: The Tripods

2012-05-17T01:11:00.005-07:00

For this throwback series, I've reworked some classics for contemporary times. Well here's one that will require no work at all because it's pretty much exactly the direction YA is going anyway. Someone whip up some new covers and re-release already! Most of these throwback ideas practically write themselves but with this one, I think it literally already did. I mean, seriously, read the synopsis for The White Mountains:

"Long ago, the Tripods -- huge, three-legged machines -- descended upon Earth and took control. Now people unquestioningly accept the Tripods' power. They have no control over their thoughts or their lives. But for a brief time in each person's life -- in childhood -- he is not a slave.

For Will, his time of freedom is about to end -- unless he can escape to the White Mountains, where the possibility of freedom still exists. The Tripods trilogy follows the adventures of Will and his cohorts, as they try to evade the Tripods and maintain their freedom and ultimately do battle against them."

The story goes on to detail how Will and his friends go around usurping the powers that be and save the world or something. I dunno, who can remember what happens; I read this so long ago. My point is, there's not much you'd have to do with these books to bring them back into prominence. I can smell a movie deal already. And an accompanying video game. I mean, check out this screencap of a Colossus from Starcraft 2. Tell me that's not a Tripod -- with Extended Thermal Lance no less. Devastating stuff, I assure you.

Sure, we could tweak things a little, if we wanted to, seeing as it isn't 1967 anymore. For example, I don't recall if there was a prominent love story but we'll go ahead and inject one. Maybe Will can fall in love with an alien. Or better yet, his "cousin" Henry will secretly be an alien -- but not realize it until later of course. Big twist, pre-spoiler spoiler alert!

And their friend, Jean-Paul, who is currently just plain jane French -- Will and Henry are Brits -- doesn't really qualify as diverse these days. So we'll just go ahead and rename him "Samad" and make him Bangladeshi. I know, that saddens me too, but we must make a hat tip to contrasting colors in these modern times. (Useless fact: When I took French in middle school, I picked "Jean-Paul" as my nickname specifically because of these books. Oh, the whims of the young.)

If we wanted to get real fancy, we could give the trio some super powers or something. But that might be taking it too far afield. I think we should keep it pretty old school and not remix too much. Overall, what do you think? Would you read a post-apocalyptic adventure story featuring mysterious tentacle-y overlords, anachronistic artifacts, and the enslavement of the human race?

Oh wait, you've read four of those in the past year already? Well then...

Five Stars

2012-05-15T01:17:00.002-07:00

A sorta weekly feature of things I co-sign:

(1) The Return of the Novella, the Original #Longread. Everyone loves a comeback story. Also, I'm all for lower word counts.

(2) Ashley went to the San Diego stop for the YA or Bust Tour. And it was the best night ever! (Sadly I couldn't attend so I'm living vicariously.)

(3) Why I'm Nervous About a Film Adaptation of The Fault In Our Stars. From the always thought provoking s.e. smith.

(4) No Sympathy for the Creative Class. Wait, there's a pampered class of artists in the US? Where are these people? How do I get in?

(5) End of Gender: Not Your Mother's Storybooks. A look at children's books for kids who don't conform to their gender. And also, Lee Wind's blog I'm Here, I'm Queer, What the Hell Do I Read? is top quality.

You Can Fly, You Can Fly

2012-05-09T10:40:00.003-07:00

A few weeks ago I went to go watch a family friend in San Diego Junior Theater's Peter Pan. She's still in high school but does "professional music theater," which means she's balancing academics, practices and performances, along with the usual growing up stuff like hanging out with friends and having fun. I asked her what her daily schedule was like and then I promptly fainted from exhaustion just hearing about it.

Disney is producing this pilot production of Peter Pan and when it's finished, they'll be selling it to other theaters and schools around the country to use. I had no idea that this was as thing, as I figured that high school musicals just, well, happened. I'd love to know what they charge for this kind of thing. No wonder everyone does the same few plays over and over.

San Diego's Junior Theater is like an all star cast of under-eighteen talent. Even though I was expecting some good performances -- my friend herself is an amazing singer -- I didn't realize that this production would be so professional. I mean, the sets and costumes were so serious. When they pulled out Captain Hook's boat, the crowd practically gave it a standing ovation because it was so impressive looking.

The script was really clever too. They did a nice job of having lots of "wink wink" moments for the audience; sidestepping the possibly racist portrayal of the Native American characters; and turned Peter Pan into more of a naughty nuisance -- who was slightly chauvinistic -- which gave Wendy and Tinkerbell room to shine. The script even had some hilarious throwaway references to Shakespeare and Sondheim.

I couldn't get over the fact that some of these kids were like eight years old. How do they get them to dance together? How are they all hitting their marks? I've seen/suffered through some performances from kids and it pretty much amounts to little blobs of energy bouncing around on a stage while everyone oohs and awws. This was no such thing. These "kids" were extremely talented and the show was so excellent. Next month I'm returning for their production of Footloose!

Oh if only I could act, sing, or dance, my life could have been so different. The height of my theater experience was playing Woodstock in a Christian Youth Theater production of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown." I had basically just moved to America. It was a non-speaking part. The next season I got two minor roles in Pinocchio -- street sweeper and donkey boy -- with again, no speaking roles. But oh how proud I was of having two parts. Near the end of the play I'd have to rush backstage to get into the street sweeper costume, so George and I could match for the rousing finale.

What I enjoyed most about the experience was the after parties of the cast. Ice cream, energy, everyone happy from having accomplished something together. Oh teamwork, it gets me every time!

And if you're looking for some YA books about performers and theaters, may I recommend Lisa Mantchev's Theatre Illuminata series (Eyes Like Stars, Perchance to Dream, the soon to be released So Silver Bright) and Lauren Bjorkman's super hilarious My Invented Life? You'll love'em, promise.

Stuff I've Been Consuming 4

2012-05-04T00:15:00.017-07:00

BOOKS READ:

I Hunt Killers, Barry Lyga
The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Diaz
The Big Nowhere, James Ellroy
Old Man's War, John Scalzi
The Girl in the Flammable Skirt, Aimee Bender

MOVIES WATCHED:

Damsels in Distress, Whit Stillman
Lockout, Stephen St. Leger
Love in the Buff, Ho-Cheung Pang
Once Upon a Time in Anatolia, Nuri Bilge Ceylan
The Raven, James McTeigue

[fiftyfifty.me | Pinterest | Google Doc]

A banner month as April contained virtually no missteps on the movie or book front! That's pretty rare right? Well, unless you count Lockout, which was only a filler film because I was movie hopping. I need more Guy Pearce as sarcastic anti-hero but the rest of the movie was horrible. Let's start with Love in the Buff, which was the reason I sat through three movies that day anyway.

I've seen my share of Chinese movies but they tend to be of the John Woo action variety or the Wong Kar-Wai stuff. Love in the Buff is a romantic comedy set in Hong Kong and Beijing and because it's not American, the beats are different. American romcoms haven't changed much in the past decade, so to get my fix, I may now have to turn to Asia.

Seeing as it's Asian-Pacific American Heritage Month, let me just say that watching a movie with young-ish urban Chinese folk, wearing their bold rimmed glasses and drawing their fashion cues not from Williamsburg but from their own influences, was an eye-opening experience. The looks ultimately aren't that different but seeing a city full of young urban Asian people without knowing immediately what their fashion stereotype is was refreshing.

The last time I set foot in Asia was ten years ago, and I have no idea what the modern young population does there. After watching Love in the Buff, I kind of want to visit and find out. Note: This is a sequel to Love in the Puff, which has the two main characters meeting at an outdoor smoking area and falling in love. What's not to like?

On the books front, I finally got the chance to toss down The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao, which I'd been saving for a rainy day. I'm a little tired of the multi-generational, interlinking stories type of book but Junot Diaz's novel is a must read. Big bonus for all his geeky comic book references. I mean, literature that incorporates Uatu the Watcher? I'm in.

At the end of the day, I thought Brief Wonderous Life was our generation's One Hundred Years of Solitude and I'll likely return to it at some point. Although I think I'd recommend his short story debut, Drown, first. Also, if you're looking to get a sense of Diaz's style, his short, "Miss Lora", was recently in this month's New Yorker.

And speaking of highly recommended shorts, Aimee Bender's The Girl in the Flammable Skirt -- which is not about Katniss -- was so great. I loved Bender's clean writing and the impactful nuance of her stories. It's been years since I've fallen so in love with a short story collection. This rejuvenated me. I had picked up The Girl in the Flammable Skirt thinking of another "Aimee" author, but I'm glad the mistake happened. Now I'm gonna get into Bender's latest, The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake, which is just one of those long evocative titles I love.

Last up, Damsels in Distress starring Greta Gerwig. I think you have to officially put "indie darling" when you talk about Gerwig but it's fully deserved. Anything Gerwig is in I'll watch, even the (mostly) disappointing Greenberg. If you didn't know, Gerwig starred in mumblecore-y movies like Hannah Takes the Stairs and Nights and Weekends and is now slowly making her way through still quirky yet more mainstream projects.

I was very impressed with writer/director Whit Stillman's script and can't believe I'd never heard about him. Movies with sour dialogue and dour worldviews are right up my alley and Damsels in Distress was a near perfect example of the form -- although I can see a lot of people not enjoying it. If you watch one of Stillman's films and love it, please befriend me so I can be less alone. Bonus: Analeigh Tipton, another high riser in my "who to watch" ranking, co-stars in Damsels.

May is the start of summer blockbuster season so my indie diet may have to take a back seat to special effects and superheroes. Fire up the popcorn please!

Sarah Cross

2012-04-27T14:45:00.000-07:00

So way back when, Exclusively Chloe debuted on the same day as Sarah Cross' Dull Boy. We were both 2009 Debs and I was delighted to forever share the same book birthday. Now Sarah's got a new book out on the shelves, Kill Me Softly. The cover is amazing as you can see, and the book is a fairy tale retelling. Which fairy tale? Well, all of them! Okay, not quite literally "all" but a whole lot of them and it's super fun to spot the influences and see the clever ways Sarah put her spin on these classic stories. Here's the synopsis for Kill Me Softly:

"Mirabelle's past is shrouded in secrecy, from her parents' tragic deaths to her guardians' half-truths about why she can't return to her birthplace, Beau Rivage. Desperate to see the town, Mira runs away a week before her sixteenth birthday -- and discovers a world she never could have imagined.

In Beau Rivage, nothing is what it seems -- the strangely pale girl with a morbid interest in apples, the obnoxious playboy who's a beast to everyone he meets, and the chivalrous guy who has a thing for damsels in distress. Here, fairy tales come to life, curses are awakened, and ancient stories are played out again and again.

But fairy tales aren't pretty things, and they don't always end in happily ever after. Mira has a role to play, a fairy tale destiny to embrace or resist. As she struggles to take control of her fate, Mira is drawn into the lives of two brothers with fairy tale curses of their own...brothers who share a dark secret. And she'll find that love, just like fairy tales, can have sharp edges and hidden thorns."

Now, Sarah's first book was about a teen with super powers and since then she's penned a Wolverine story for Wolverine #1000. Yes, she got to write a Wolverine story! Even better, Sarah reveals to us that as a teen herself, she "wrote/drew a shoddy X-Men rip-off comic called The eXcuses, in which Professor Xavier enlists Jubilee to train a new teen group of superheroes." One of the members was En Passent, which I hope is based on the rare chess move, because that would just be the greatest. If The eXcuses was a comic today, I'd read that like asap.

Also, Sarah's main Tumblr consistently slams out fantastically geeky images and videos of stuff that leave no doubt about how she spent her childhood afternoons: devouring cartoons in front of the television. If your interests sweet spot is somewhere between princesses and superheroes, her Tumblr is the one for you. While you're subscribing and following along to that, be sure to congratulate my debut buddy on Kill Me Softly and then pick it up for your reading pleasure. Congrats Sarah!

The Only Social Networking Strategy Guide You'll Ever Need

2012-04-17T01:29:00.000-07:00

Today I'm here to answer the pressing question: What kind of social network farmer are you? Technically I know next to nothing about actual farming but I feel confident in using farming analogies to describe social networking because I've played a lot of Papaya Farm, Trade Nations, Oregon Trail: American Settler, and other freemium iPhone games. I can plant digital carrots with the best of them. Mistletoe FTW!

Presented without commentary or judgement, with limited commercial interruption, here are some time tested strategies you can use to build a following, avoid co-workers, annoy friends, and generally become a scary numbers monger.

Commercial Agriculture: The goal here is to achieve high "profits" using economies of scale, labour saving technologies, and minimizing effort while maximizing results. All that is just a fancy way of saying, "spam spam spam spam spam spam!" Sing along if you want. Follow anyone and everyone and assume a (low) percentage will follow you back out of reciprocity. A great way to pump up your numbers but significant downside exists as nobody will know who the hell you are. You'll look good on paper though.

Nomadic Herding: Moseying from here to there, you follow your targets over large territories, ceding control to their movement patterns. An idyllic way to tour the socialsphere, nomadic herding means you just sort of glom onto whoever/whatever interests you, letting your interactions arise naturally. This sounds like a dreamy way to live but it's also highly unpredictable. For example, it could take you some time to find a community or to unearth like-minded people. And there's a great chance you're just going to be hanging out by yourself for awhile.

Communal Farming: Gather up a few friends and power your way to social media success together. By pooling your networks and resources, it's likely you'll immediately feel important. Other people notice when you're constantly chattering, retweeting, and linking to the same (user)names. People's reflexive high school brains will recognize that there's a clique here and it will instinctively make them say, "I want to avoid them but I really just want in." Use that to your great advantage.

Also, if one of your buddies suddenly hits it big, the trickle down effect in social media actually works -- unlike in supply side economics. Trickle down success also historically works out well for rap groups, so feel free to name your crew something catchy/obscure/intimidating so you can graffiti/hashtag up those rough social networking streets.

Organic Farming: Being real! Or at least a close approximation of being real. Social networking organic farmers care about the impact they make on their environment and want to work sustainably with those around them. Each precious node in their network gets personal attention and is most importantly, someone they care about. "Yes, all 4,318 of these people are my friends." I know, total eye roll. (It's here that I remind myself not to be a hater. Some people are just that much more genuine and likeable than I am. I can sometimes/barely live with that.)

Intensive Farming: Disclaimer, most of the next sentence is stolen verbatim from somewhere else. Using high inputs of capital, labour, and heavy usage of technologies such as pesticides and chemical fertilizers relative to land area, intensive farming is the strategy of following everyone and then de-following them after they follow you back to pump up your ratio. Don't be that asshole. Actually, whatever, all's fair in love and social networking. Haha, suckers!

Cash Crop: You pretty much aim straight for the A-List and try to get their attention. You'll skip the riff raff and try to vault the velvet rope. Just one retweet/repost from someone important will make all the difference and you're hoping that will then bring followers, acclaim, and unlimited candy spilling your way. It's a high risk game but I've seen this one play out spectacularly. Watching this strategy unfold from afar is exciting too as you anticipate when/if the big RT happens. It's also enjoyable to see how long the "celebrity" will keep someone dangling.

Industrial Farming: Leveraging all the tools and technology made by modern man, you have evolved into a social networking cyborg. You play TweetDeck like a young Mozart, your Hootsuite solos are Charlie Parker-esque, you guest star/post on everything like Charice. Plus you actually Instapaper Facebook Pages updates to be read later. You send holiday cards with your Klout score displayed prominently. In short, you are RoboNetworker. People are both afraid and in awe of you.

The opposite of this is hoe-farming, which means you like use a digging stick -- a what? -- and do farmy things manually. Without even the help of beasts of burden to befriend/enslave and to lighten your load. Basically you actually log in to the actual Twitter, Facebook, etc. sites to update them. Amateur.

Extensive Farming: "Owing to the extreme age and poverty of the soils, yields per hectare are very low, but the flat terrain and very large farm sizes mean yields per unit of labour are high." I don't even know what that means. I suck at math.

Slash-and-burn: My favorite immortal technique! While I have only a loose grasp of what slash-and-burn agriculture actually involves, I absolutely love everything implied by the name. My version of slash-and-burn social networking involves picking fights with people, preferably people more important than you (for now). By stirring the pot and flinging yourself into flame wars, you piss off the crowd but gain notoriety and infamy. Your goal is to destroy everything in sight and then move on to the next community, gaining fawning acolytes along the way. When in doubt, slash and burn baby. Slash and burn!

Subsistence Agriculture: You are only social networking to clothe your children, feed your family, and to try and maintain a current standard of "not too wired" living. Basically you've taken the "networking" out of the social networking equation. I applaud your nonchalance. No, we applaud your nonchalance. All three of us following you.

Artisan Fishing: I didn't want to leave something so wonderful sounding off the list. Using nets, arrows, harpoons, and massive patience, you glide lightly over the socialsphere, looking only to find the best and brightest. You are a curator of great social media people. You are the artisan fisher. Also, artisan fishing is apparently a World of Warcraft spell. Obviously it is the best spell WoW has to offer.

That's it, I've taken you through a few thousand years of farming history and a decade of Internet life. It was hard but somebody had to do it. Thank you Wikipedia. And in case you're wondering how your number of followers stack up, here's my categorization of your Twitter self-worth using birds. Coming up next time, how Poor Richard's Almanac can help you dominate the interwebs! Quick preview: It can't.

Five On It

2012-04-12T00:55:00.000-07:00

A sorta weekly feature of things I co-sign:

(1) Getting By on a Writer’s Income. Written in 1981 but still very relevant. I mean, except sardines probably aren't 15¢ a can anymore.

(2) Allison Winn Scotch's entire blog. My favorite author blog out there! Allison's fourth book, The Song Remains the Same, drops this Thursday. Everything else is great every day.

(3) How Game of Thrones Masters the Art of Adapting Novels for TV. I haven't read the books, and can't commit to the TV series, but this was interesting anyway.

(4) DRM is crushing indie booksellers online. Ruth Curry of Emily Books adds to the anti-DRM debate. I'm with it.

(5) Five Web Comics Writers Should Read. SM Robertson had me at "squid."

Stuff I've Been Consuming 3

2012-04-09T01:17:00.002-07:00

BOOKS READ:

Angelus, Mary C. Moore
Making Movies, Sidney Lumet
Cinder, Marissa Meyer
The Lost Symbol, Dan Brown
Wanderlove, Kirsten Hubbard

MOVIES WATCHED:

The Notebook, Nick Cassavetes
John Carter, Andrew Stanton
Friends With Kids, Jennifer Westfeldt
Atlas Shrugged: Part 1, Paul Johansson
Page One: Inside the New York Times, Andrew Rossi
Jiro Dreams of Sushi, David Gelb
The Hunger Games, Gary Ross
Wrath of the Titans, Jonathan Liebesman
Manufactured Landscapes, Jennifer Baichwal

[fiftyfifty.me | Pinterest | Google Doc]

A quarter of the way through the year and I'm still on a good pace for our fiftyfifty.me challenge: fourteen books and twenty two movies. This month I'm here to sing the praises of Sidney Lumet's Making Movies. You may recognize Lumet as the director behind 12 Angry Men, Dog Day Afternoon, Serpico, Murder on the Orient Express, or perhaps his most recent film, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Or um, maybe The Wiz. Sadly, Lumet passed away in 2011 but his book got a lot of press posthumously and that's when I first heard about it.

After reading through Making Movies, written in 1996, I highly recommend it to anyone with even a passing interest in how films are made. Written with a lot of personality, Lumet breaks down what a director does, what goes into script writing, how to deal with actors, how a movie shoot is organized, different approaches to camera work, and most interestingly to me, a very detailed chapter about editing.

Now, there are lots of resources about the technical aspects of all of these things of course, but Making Movies isn't a how-to manual, and infused with Lumet's commentary, it's a readable gem for laypeople and filmmakers alike. I'm already looking forward to re-reading it whenever I need some inspiration.

This was also the month I rediscovered Netflix, at one point ripping through three movies in one morning/afternoon. Say what you want about the Atlas Shrugged movie, but I need a Part 2. For awhile it was rumored that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were interested to star as Dagny Taggart and John Galt but I had no problems with Taylor Schilling stepping in. She's got enough of the icy look and demeanor to make an ideal Dagny and Jolie would have probably ruined it just with her notoriety. Note I use "ruined it" very loosely as the movie has been widely panned.

This is totally irrelevant but I really enjoyed seeing Edi Gathegi as Eddie Willers. That's right, Gathegi was Laurent in Twilight and Darwin in X-Men: First Class. And when the Black Eyed Peas biopic comes out, he'll be the man standing in for Will.I.Am. Hollywood will totally whitewash Apl.de.ap and Taboo though. Brace for the outrage.

And one last thing. Go watch Jiro Dreams of Sushi. It's a documentary about 85 year old Jiro Ono and his perfectionist sushi making. Aside from just food porn, you'll marvel over the insanity/amazingness of one man dedicating his life to crafting the same pieces of sushi over and over again. Eating at Jiro's costs $400 so it's unlikely most of us will ever get to try it out but that doesn't matter because watching the movie will only cost a fraction of that. Sure, it's not the all encompassing documentary I'd have liked to see -- I wanted more technique and explanation of why Jiro's sushi was the best -- but overall the movie is a must see.

Mary C. Moore

2012-04-05T01:40:00.004-07:00

A couple of years ago I joined a book club up in San Francisco and even though I no longer live there, I still think of it as "my book club." Whenever I'm up in the Bay, I try to attend a meeting because the group is super fun and the people are stellar. Mary is one of the co-founders of this book club and she recently wrapped up her MFA program. As I'm always excited to read anything Mary writes, I'm here to share with you Mary's just released first novel, Angelus:

"Most anthropologists believe that eons ago there were over fourteen species of human. They also believe that only one of those species endured beyond the ice age. They are wrong. Three species of human survived to live in our modern world. Homo angelus have wings. Homo daemonis have horns and tail. Homo sapiens have no idea the other two exist. Sarah Connelly’s job is to ensure it stays that way."

I ripped through the book in one sitting, fending off morning to finish it (I usually go to bed when the sun rises), and it was a fantastic read that not only had an intriguing premise but such wonderfully smooth writing. If I could write so cleanly, well, I could write like Mary. Can you tell I'm jealous of her skills to the max? Angelus also has some very tempting supporting characters and Sarah Connelly is a heroine we're going to love following along with for many more adventures.

In addition to having impeccable taste in all matters fantasy -- she introduced me to Patricia Wrede's The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, for which I'll be forever grateful -- Mary is also a zookeeper. Yes, the actual person who gets to wear khaki and green and do all the stuff you'd love to do but maybe aren't brave enough to. I mean, she's even written stories about some of her experiences. If you don't know what a reticulated giraffe is, or a kune kune pig, better let Mary explain them to you in A Day at the Zoo.

In short: angels, animals, awesomeness, Mary's got it all. Go get Angelus now!

Ready, Aim, Yawn

2012-04-02T05:35:00.021-07:00

Unpopular opinion alert: I kind of hated Hunger Games the movie. Yes, I know, it's almost sacrilegious to say amidst all the wonderful reviews and the excitement about it breaking records and pushing the franchise to new heights. But the thing is, the film kind of bored me. After waiting a whole week to get my Hunger Games on, I was shocked when about an hour and a half into it, I looked over at my sister and we both gave each other the "what is going on here" alarmed look. Even when the action finally picked up as Katniss fought for survival, I found myself wishing for so much more. It wasn't even about the typical book to movie translation stuff, this was just a bad movie, period.

For one, I hated the camera work. While initially the tight shots and languishing but controlled pacing drew me in, when there proved to be nothing else in director Gary Ross' bag of tricks, I mainly just got angry at him for going semi-artsy fartsy with the whole thing. I don't need fifty shots of Jennifer Lawrence staring intently. (Coming from a big Jennifer Lawrence fan, that's saying something.) Yes, Katniss is supposed to be stoic and unreadable but this was taking it a bit too far.

What I realized while watching Hunger Games is that most of the compelling conflicts exist inside Katniss' head, and movies have an admittedly hard time conveying that. Cool, I'll let that slide. But maybe move the scene along and use the side characters more. You know, those wonderful ancillary characters who did such a great job pulling Katniss out of her shell in the novel but were each severely underutilized in the movie. Haymitch had an amusing moment or two before being ushered off, Cinna wasn't even in the movie, and after hearing about how Elizabeth Banks stole every scene as Effie, I think it's accurate if faint praise. Effie Trinket was the only character allowed to have a spark of life on-screen, so of course she stood out. Related note: Stanley Tucci, I can't handle you anymore. Let Hunger Games serve as our official two and a half hour breakup letter.

Issue number two: If you haven't read The Hunger Games, do you have any idea what's going on? I mean, besides the basics of "children are thrown into a fight to the death for entertainment," do you get any of the characters' motivations, connections, or actions? Without knowledge of the book, I would think the entire interaction between the characters (and Panem in general) was entirely lost. Why is Peeta so willing to sacrifice everything? What is Katniss' relationship to Gale? What are all these people rebelling against? Where/who are these handy first aid parachutes coming from?

Any broader commentary -- or satire -- Hunger Games might have had on society at large was also completely wiped away. It's possible to flesh some of these deeper issues out using the language of film, it really is. Even in blockbusters, I've seen it happen. Having said that, my friends who didn't read the book seemed to have enjoyed the movie much more than I did. So maybe not knowing what they missed out on was better.

Let's talk about the action. Oh wait, there was none. For a movie whose main appeal is the actual Hunger Games, there weren't many thrilling bits. Even the training was disappointing. What's the best part of Rocky? The training montage and the boxing matches. I didn't need "Eye of the Tiger" and Katniss running up some stairs exactly but give me a cool scene that actually took my breath away or showed me that Katniss was a force to be reckoned with. Is that too much to ask?

As it stands, the most exciting part of Katniss kicking ass was her (mis-)firing a few arrows. In lieu of direct action, it would have been acceptable to highlight how clever and savvy Katniss was. We didn't get much of that either. Also, Ross kills me again with his camera work. I concede that they couldn't show kids slaughtering each other in order to preserve a PG-13 rating but Ross' jumpy action shots were nauseating.

Mostly what we got was a whole lot of speeches and Q&A sessions. "Haymitch, how do we survive? Please just tell us, don't bother showing us via any training scenes. I'd much prefer a thrilling conversation over breakfast. Aaaah, eggs!" "Tell me Katniss, how did you feel? No, really, tell me how you felt." "And President Snow, could you proclaim something else? We need you to provide exposition. Oh alright, you do it Seneca." Half the movie was a boring political rally slash beauty pageant. With some bad costuming no less.

Okay I could go on but I'll spare you. I think Hunger Games missed the mark by way too much, even though I was grading on a heavy curve. Maybe the movie I was hoping to see was just too different. I wanted something with a bit of fun, even though the setting and subject matter was a dystopian society where children are forced to kill one other.

I realized as the credits rolled that this version of The Hunger Games was really a B-movie with high production values. That's it. The emotional depth was lacking to make it a movie you cared about, the action was lacking to make it an enjoyable romp, the everything was missing from a torpid adaptation that looked the part but failed to entertain me in just about every way.

Will I be back for Catching Fire? Of course! But when we had to immediately movie hop Wrath of the Titans just to wash the disappointed stench of Hunger Games off our minds, that really says something. Wrath of the Titans as cinematic highlight and panacea -- a new life low.

Something I did enjoy: Wes Bentley, with extra points for his curlicue beard. It doesn't seem like he's aged much since American Beauty and I'm ready for more Wes in my life. We already know his character is gone in the next movie so he can't be too busy. Somebody hire him immediately. Those icy blue eyes would make a fine (and ultimately likeable) serial killer or dark superhero or something.

Also, although I objected to Josh Hutcherson as Peeta because he seemed so lame in photos next to Jennifer Lawrence and Liam Hemsworth, I actually liked him much more in the actual movie. Lesson learned: Don't judge a competing love interest by his height. I should have trusted Hutcherson's past work; shout out to Bridge to Terabithia. Still Team Gale for me though.

An Abundance of Chloes

2012-03-26T01:41:00.001-07:00

Fact: I kind of hate making up fictional names. If it were up to me, all my characters would be named "Sam." It's the one I use for all of my protagonists until forced to switch out for something else. However, you can't name everyone Sam (unfortunately) so then I scroll through lists of baby names, think about which friends are worth immortalizing in print, and sometimes just make stuff up.

For Exclusively Chloe, I Google checked "Chloe-Grace," the main character's name, just to make sure it was somewhat unique. Luckily, it returned few hits. The only competition was Chloe Grace Moretz, who was back then just a semi-obscure kid actress so I didn't worry too much. Now Moretz's a Hollywood starlet, tween style icon, and has dominated Google for the foreseeable future based on the strength of her work in (500) Days of Summer, Kick-Ass, and Let Me In. It's a good thing I like her or I would have declared Internet war!

What I didn't do back then was check to see how many other young adult books had "Chloe" in their titles. Last week I saw the great cover for the soon to be released Welcome, Caller, This Is Chloe and that led me to find all the YA Chloe books I'd missed before -- along with creating a Chloe-themed Pinterest collection.

As it turns out, there are almost fifteen books released since 2000 with "Chloe" in the title. I shouldn't be surprised I guess. On the baby name popularity charts, "Chloe" soared from a ranking of #63 in 1999 all the way up to #9 in 2009, where it has held strong for three years.

Does having the same name in our book titles say anything about similarities in plot and characters? Well, let's find out what's really in a name.

First up is Chloe Leiberman (Sometimes Wong), which features a half-Chinese protagonist who has an eye for fashion. My Chloe-Grace is a Chinese girl who also lives for fashion. Both young ladies live in Los Angeles, have dysfunctional families, and judge people based on their outfits. They would obviously be besties.

Actually they'd probably have to make room for Chloe Gamble too, the star of an entire Chloe trilogy -- admirably titled The One, VIP Lounge, and Hot Mess. This Chloe is a Machiavellian wannabe celebrity who makes a rapid ascent in Hollywood. She would get along with Chloe Wong Leiberman and Chloe-Grace just fine. (Note: this is the only other male author on my list. Ed Decter also wrote There's Something About Mary, The Lizzie McGuire Movie, and some of the Santa Clauses. He's definitely winning in the race for people who are successful before/after writing young adult books about Chloes. I hope to overtake him some day.)

And speaking of best friends, Zoe and Chloe On the Prowl features a rhyming duo who are out to find dates to the Earthquake Ball -- by placing want ads in the paper. This is right up the chick lit alley and I'd like to think of them as Chloe-Grace's pen pals from England. They'd talk about boys and teach each other important slang terms a.k.a. curse words.

There is a lot about family in Exclusively Chloe, as Chloe-Grace is adopted and on the search for her biological parents. In this she could relate heavily with Cesca Adey's Chloe, who also faces adoption issues and finding her real mother. And what are the chances there are two Chloe books with fairy godmothers? Chloe's Wish features a fairy godmother named Gloria while my Chloe-Grace has a fairy godmother named Luther. Luther is Chloe-Grace's friend and stylist and he gives her a make-under so he's more like a reverse fairy godmother I guess. Chloe's Wish wins for best Chloe cover as it features a pegasus. If only my cover had a pegasus!

And while I'm pretty sure Francine Pascal did not pen Secret Love Diaries: Chloe herself, it can't be left out because this is a novel about an undercover relationship. Chloe Murphy dates the hottest guy at Sweet Valley University but is forced to keep it a secret. "Girl, that's a relationship you should not be in," is the counsel Chloe-Grace would provide. "Dump that boy right now and make it a short story."

Lest you think Chloes are all superficial femme bots, let me show you some who also suffer from existential and theological crises. For example, Chloe from the series My Name is Chloe (Diary of a Teenage Girl) struggles with her relationship to God and eventually forms a band named Redemption while trying to remain edgy. I'm guessing lots of black eyeliner and harsh guitar riffs are involved.

And then there's the bad girl of the Chloe club, Chloe Doe, a 17-year old prostitute who propositions a plains clothes police officer. Whoa now, majorly bad career decision. Chloe-Grace would so take Chloe Doe under her wing and help her get on the straight and narrow. Then take her shopping on Rodeo Drive to re-invent her wardrobe.

Chloe, Queen of Denial and The Nine Lives of Chloe King series both share Egyptian influences. The former is about a girl who explores archaeological digs and the latter is about a girl descended from Bastet, an Egyptian feline goddess. Nine Lives is a television series that I should probably check out but I can't bring myself to do it because I'm bitter that it's Chloe King instead of Chloe-Grace on my TV screen. We Chloe writers are not above petty jealousy, oh no.

Lastly, here's two Chloe books that don't feature Chloes as the main character. Becoming Chloe is about a guy named Jordy who rescues a girl named Wanda while she is being raped. Since "Chloe" is an obviously much better name than "Wanda," she changes it and the two of them embark on a road trip across America to well, I dunno, find beauty and peace? At least I hope that's what they find.

Coping With Chloe is very intriguing as the main character is actually an Anna, but Chloe is her twin sister who dies (I think) and then her spirit somehow merges with Anna's body. So it's two girls in one! There is also a boy who likes both of them, even though they are technically the same person. Which could be, um, complicated. I definitely need to read Coping With Chloe because sometimes I feel like my twin sister has infiltrated my psyche too. George, let's read this one together and compare notes.

So what have we learned from our tour of Chloes? A lot right? Sure you may think that by reading one Chloe book you've read them all but as I've proven here, the Chloes of young adult literature aren't just all about celebrities, adoptive families, and running from the paparazzi. That's only in my book. So please don't judge one Chloe by another, even if some of them will certainly be judging you.

District 5

2012-03-19T17:19:00.013-07:00

A sorta weekly feature of things I co-sign:

(1) What Occupy can learn from the Hunger Games. With the Hunger Games movie coming right around the corner, I love how people have tried to tie it into everything.

(2) Downside to Rereading. Wicked is a great book, end of story.

(3) Michael Chabon Attacks Prejudice Against Science Fiction. I don't really get why science fiction and fantasy needs constant defending, but then again I don't really get why people play tower defense games either.

(4) Something Geeky. Where does Vanessa Di Gregorio finds all these amazing images? I'll just keep hearting them and saving special ones for iPhone wallpapers. Art Deco Mega Man!

(5) The making of a blockbuster. You've read this already, I'm sure. A fellow author tweeted: "That story about how Hunger Games became a blockbuster is everything I hate about the industry I'm in." Hmmm.

E.C. Myers

2012-03-16T00:03:00.002-07:00

A young adult debut from an Asian American male! This event comes around about as often the Olympics I believe. I've also heard that boy bands are on the comeback so if we can find a few other AsAm YA guys, we can start touring smallish arenas and large living rooms near you. (I believe we're currently up to four members, so we'll need a fifth to hit classic boy band proportions.)

Can you tell how excited I am to share with you E.C. Myers' just released book Fair Coin? Here's the synopsis:"The coin changed Ephraim's life. But how can he change it back? Sixteen-year-old Ephraim Scott is horrified when he comes home from school and finds his mother unconscious at the kitchen table, clutching a bottle of pills. The reason for her suicide attempt is even more disturbing: she thought she'd identified Ephraim's body at the hospital that day.

Among his dead double's belongings, Ephraim finds a strange coin--a coin that grants wishes when he flips it. With a flick of his thumb, he can turn his alcoholic mother into a model parent and catch the eye of the girl he's liked since second grade. But the coin doesn't always change things for the better. And a bad flip can destroy other people's lives as easily as it rebuilds his own.

The coin could give Ephraim everything he's ever wanted--if he learns to control its power before his luck runs out."
E.C. (aka Eugene) majored in visual arts in college, which is so intriguing and something we should ask him all about. In additon, he's published a ton of short fiction pieces; reviews books, video games, movies, and Star Trek episodes; and also creates book trailers. Plus he gets up really early in the morning somehow, perhaps his most admirable quality. A man who truly does it all.

Eugene's blog is fantastic because it covers stuff like comprehensively testing out Scrivener and also dares to answer the most important question of all: How is a writing career like Smallville? (I miss Lana so much...) Go congratulate E.C. on his debut and then read Fair Coin because the follow up, Quantum Coin, is coming soon.

Advanced Reading & Writing, 1st Edition

2012-03-11T11:37:00.006-07:00

When you play Dungeon & Dragons, a lot of your time is spent making characters. There's a lot of dice rolling, picking out skills and equipment from various charts, and then cramming all this information onto a character sheet. Here's what a D&D 4th Edition character sheet looks like. Tell me that's not more complicated than your high school homework. But the thing is, all the relevant facts and figures you need to successfully get your Dungeons & Dragons on are right there. Organized, accessible, neat.

The character sheet is one of the greatest contributions Dungeon & Dragons has made to our society -- among many. Where do you think profile pages came from? Facebook totally stole the whole distilling an entire complex person down to just one page thing from D&D! (The Zuck was obviously a tallish half-gnome wizard in his gaming days.) Of course, a genius idea like this needs to be extended to more things. For example, wouldn't it be handy if authors had character sheets?

Now for the few of you who have never played D&D before, the first step is to take three six-sided dice and use them to calculate your ability scores. Dungeon & Dragons uses a few key attributes to determine how good your character is at various tasks: strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma. Of course these wouldn't work for our author character sheets so instead I'll be substituting in key authorly abilities such as (writing) skill, plotting, originality, revision, endurance, and charm. We could probably find a few better ones but that'll have to do for now.

Tack on slots for genre, class, experience points, skills, those all important magic items and here we are, an Advanced Reading & Writing, 1st Edition author character sheet. Take a look at these prototypes for John Green, Stephenie Meyer, and well, me.

See how convenient a character sheet is? And fun? Feel free to make some for your own favorite authors. Next up, collectible author trading cards! Oh right, or you could just buy an author's books and collect the covers. That'll work too.

Five Spot

2012-03-05T01:33:00.001-08:00

A sorta weekly feature of things I co-sign:

(1) Why I Don't Want to Join Your Shitty Book Club. A strong stance to take. Personally I would love to join your book club, but nobody ever asks. Sigh.

(2) YA March Madness Tourney. There's a sci-fi/dystopia, paranormal, contemporary, and a fantasy bracket. It's a shame you can't place bets on these and make an office pool. Or can you?

(3) Amazon & The Importance of Popularity. Everything is like high school, everything.

(4) On the Rise of the Book Trailer. Just give me a synopsis and few sample pages. Unless Ryan Gosling or Emma Stone is in your trailer, then I'll re-watch it over and over again.

(5) Lisa Simpson Book Club. I was never really into The Simpsons but this is gold. This is a book club we can all get behind.

Stuff I've Been Consuming 2

2012-02-29T02:57:00.008-08:00

BOOKS READ:

Legend, Marie Lu
How a Book is Born, Keith Gessen
The Fault In Our Stars, John Green
A Visit From the Goon Squad, Jennifer Egan

MOVIES WATCHED:

A Separation, Asghar Farhadi
Chronicle, Josh Trank
Answer This!, Christopher Farah
The Secret World of Arrietty, Hiromasa Yonebayashi
Act of Valor, Mike McCoy and Scott Waugh
The Artist, Michel Hazanavicius

[fiftyfifty.me | Pinterest | Google Doc]

Don't you hate it when something you've been looking forward to doesn't live up to expectations? Like you leave the theater or get to the last word wanting the experience to have been so much better. Either the hype ruined it or the thing in question just wasn't good enough to warrant the excitement in the first place.

I guess what I'm talking about isn't run of the mill experiences but greatness. For example, I wanted A Visit From the Goon Squad to be great. I wanted The Fault in Our Stars to be great. I even (somewhat illogically) wanted Chronicle would be great. But they all disappointed in some aspect. From now on I'm thinking I should start tracking how good I think something is going to be versus they actually end up being.

For example, I had low expectations for Act of Valor. Basically I just wanted to see some firefights and live out Modern Warfare 3 on the big screen. Bang bang, mission accomplished. After the credits rolled, I couldn't gush enough about how good Valor was, how it exactly met my expectations, and by extension I emerged extremely happy. Was Act of Valor a good movie? Not really. Would I recommend it to most of my friends? Probably not. But due to the middling expectations I set beforehand, it was a fantastic experience.

In contrast, Jennifer Egan's 2011 Pultizer Prize winner was the first book I bought on my Kindle awhile ago and I'd been saving it for when I needed something fantastic to end a month on. In baseball terminology, I was preparing the cleanup hitter in my batting order. Egan was my Barry Bonds and I thought she was going to bring February roaring home.

Instead, A Visit From the Goon Squad was a solid effort but no grand slam. The much lauded chapter told in Powerpoint slides was indeed innovative and fun, but everything that came before and afterwards disappointed me. Egan's writing is smooth, her ability to tell twelve different stories with twelve different voices is impressive, but much like with Hyperion last month, the degree of difficulty and technical execution didn't move me in any way. I need great books to move me and make me want to return immediately.

Maybe in the future I'll be able to reread Goon Squad with lowered expectations and thus fully appreciate the many wonderful things Egan accomplishes, but until then it'll be relegated to the end of the bench along with the other disappointments.

Something that absolutely met my pre-movie expectations was A Separation, the recent Oscar winner for Best Foreign Language Film. It occurred to me that I'd never seen a movie set in Iran -- unless Persepolis counts -- and that meant I'd likely missed out on a whole bunch of great stuff. I think Lilly and I are going to be drawing up a minor in depressing Iranian movies, so we'll be sure to report back.

A Separation was a slow burn and an intriguing look at a very different judicial system than the one we have here in the United States. Iran uses a form of the inquisitorial system, in which the judge serves as prosecutor, jury, and arbiter. You'll find your allegiances shifting between the various characters as the movie unfolds, and that'll demand an immediate conversation following the film to compare notes. Masterful and affecting.

Skeleton Key

2012-02-27T18:14:00.007-08:00

This n+1 podcast episode with editor Keith Gessen about the publishing industry, "The Book is Good," is well worth the thirty minute listen. (I highlighted Gessen's How a Book is Born: The Making of The Art of Fielding a few weeks ago.) The meaty part of the interview starts around the 4:40 minute mark and there are quite a few interesting things to reflect upon.

For one, Gessen challenges the idea that the monetary success of a few blockbusters are subsidizing smaller works. I know you've heard this one before -- about how books like Snooki's latest opus creates the profits that allow for other authors to be published -- and I'm curious which perspective is actually true. Also, according to Amazon's research, the kind of book that people buy on their Kindles but don't buy in print are previous books by New York Times authors. Hum.

Halfway through the interview, Gessen relates the conversation that many authors have, about how friends that went on to become lawyers and doctors now approach them to ask, "I wrote a novel, can you help me get it published?" His response is amusing: "And you just want to say to them: 'I'll tell you how to get your novel published. Go back ten years, right, fifteen years, and instead of becoming a lawyer or doctor, become a writer. Because I don't show up to your office [and start performing surgery].'"

Of course, a good number of writers I hear of nowadays are former lawyers, so perhaps going that way might be more fiscally responsible. A final quote from the interview, Gessen speaking about n+1 being putting out their own stuff: "If you have undertaken to publish something, it is your moral duty to get it out into the world." Amen.

For the most part I've decided to skip any articles about the advance of the eBook overlords, or stuff about the death of the industry. I've gorged enough on both over the past year and they pretty much just present the same information. But sometimes I'll come across an eBook article worth reading, like this one, also from n+1, "Bones of the Book," a nice long piece about the history and direction of the eBook.

"Traditionalists attack e-books because they are not enough like print books. The electronic literary vanguard tends to dislike e-books because they are too much like real books. Electronic writers have long defined their craft as any piece of digital writing except e-books, which they consider mere scans of paper. They have perhaps overlooked some of the e-book’s creative possibilities, but they have helped to define what e-book connotes. If an e-book mutates too far from its physical progenitor, then it becomes electronic literature."
-Bones of the Book-

Throwback Thursday: ValueTales

2012-02-22T18:37:00.000-08:00

Growing up, my friend Frank had a whole set of these books featuring cartoony illustrations of important historical figures and their achievements. They featured Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Edison, Helen Keller, Beethoven, and Abraham Lincoln among many others. Each title focused on teaching you a value lesson, whether it be leadership, courage, adventure, honesty, or curiosity.

For the longest time I couldn't figure out what these were called. Googling around did me no good either. I had been hoping that my memory would eventually kick in, or I'd meet someone who knew what I was talking about, but after reading Krispy of A Nudge in the Right Direction's post about her collection of US History books, I caved and just texted Frank. Within ten minutes I had the answer I'd been searching for years to find: ValueTales.

Their Wikipedia entry informs me that ValueTales was published in La Jolla, a few miles away from where I grew up, so maybe that's why nobody else knew what they were. Between 1977 and 1997, Spencer Johnson and Ann Donegan Johnson cranked out forty five or so of these. (FYI: Spencer Johnson went on to write the deplorable Who Moved My Cheese?) I also should not overlook Stephen Pileggi's illustrations, as his art gave the series its winning personality.

One day when I own a bookshelf, I will strive to catch'em all. eBay has a lot of thirty ValueTales available right now for $210 in case you're feeling generous. There's quite a few of these volumes I don't recall actually, and really, I need to get educated and find out who Paul-Emile Leger and Ralph Bunche are. I have also never read the Johnny Appleseed one about "love," which could explain so much.

Anyway, a dream project of mine has always been to combine the ValueTales format with personalities from the hip hop community. Imagine a version of these books featuring influential rappers, DJs, graffiti artists, and b-boys. For example, the inaugural set could include DJ Kool Herc (Originality), Crazy Legs (Discipline), Lee Quinones (Exploration), Queen Latifah (Self-respect), Jay-Z (Ambition), Lauryn Hill (Miseducation), Tupac & Biggie (Camaraderie), A Tribe Called Quest (Noncomformity), Kanye West (Humility).

All I need now is an illustrator. And a publisher. And buyers. Don't make me draw these out myself and staple them together. My first Hip Hop Tale will be about my favorite rappers, Gang Starr in the Value of Partnership!

I'm taking pre-orders now for the people in your life who are nostalgic about ValueTales and also love hip hop. These books will also teach people valuable lessons such as using "Using Rap to Teach Pithy Lessons in Business." Actually no they won't. Not even a little bit. I just had to share that article because I found it to be so ridiculous. I mean, I love Rakim and all but if some venture capitalist starting quoting him to me as a way of imparting entrepreneurship advice, I'd be forced to dance battle it out right then and there.

I also hate it when literature T.A.'s try to cram Public Enemy lyrics down their students' throats as a way to seem relevant and cool. We get it guy, you listen to rap music. On with the show already.

Five Step Plan

2012-02-18T16:13:00.001-08:00

A sorta weekly feature of things I co-sign:

(1) 25 Things I Learned From Opening a Bookstore. I'd like to work in a book store someday but they've never called me back. Not once.

(2) Cometbus #51: The Loneliness of the Electric Menorah. The history of Telegraph Avenue's book stores, as told by one of my favorite writers.

(3) How Many Book Sales Equals "Success?" The easy answer is "more" but that's probably not precise enough.

(4) A Call for a Unified E-book Market. Proprietary formats suck. Kill the DRM too, whatever that acronym stands for.

(5) The Plagiarist's Tale. Want book deals, critical acclaim, fame, and a pity me memoir? Just start mashing up novels! Excuse me while I go remix a few best sellers.

They're Flocking This Way

2012-02-14T01:58:00.000-08:00

Since I've been Chinese all of my life, I know how to measure self worth by numbers. 4.0, 1600 (now 2400), valedictorian, 3.14159265, 1.3 billion, 888, M3, six figures, half price, two for one, one child...

Since Twitter self-esteem can often be tied into how many followers you have, I thought it would be nice to put together a handy guide to what you've achieved so far and how much your parents will love you. And if they'll humble brag about you at other people's family dinners.

TWITTER FOLLOWERS (#)
Kiwi (5+): Someone coerced you into signing up for Twitter. Two years ago. You barely have any social media wings and are flightless.
Pigeon (25+): You used the friend search function. You don't really want to interact with anyone it found, except that one person who you text all the time anyway. Twitter is laaaaame.
Seagull (50-100+): Your have IRL friends on Twitter and you guys love it. Mine, mine, mine!
Hummingbird (250+): You're an artist of some kind, or an entrepreneur, you are using Twitter to "expand your network."
Woodpecker: (500+): You are still trying to expand your network. You wonder if you're narcissistic in your semi-private journal.
Owl (1,000+): You now officially have more Twitter friends than real friends. Possibly by a lot.
Flamingo (3,000+): You have achieved niche fame. You wield influence and power, but in small doses.
Peacock (10,000+): You've been offered some cash for a sponsored tweet. You turned them down to preserve your integrity. And then tweeted about it.
Hawk (100,000+): "How much are you paying? Where do I sign?" Signs of early onset megalomania.
Condor (500,000+): You are an athlete, or already famous.
Gryphon (1,000,000+): You are a movie star or celebrity. But not yet as popular as MC Hammer.
Phoenix (5,888,146): You've hit the pinnacle, you are Mariah Carey.
Bieber (17,000,000+): Actually there's one more level, one boy to rule us all. Mariah's co-star on the "All I Want For Christmas Is You" remake.

FOLLOWER/FOLLOWING RATIO
1/5: You are spamming people and just trying to get that count up. It's okay, everybody's gotta start somewhere.
1/1: Quid pro quo. You follow back people who follow you.
5/1: You follow people back selectively. Maybe you just went through a Twitter follower purge.
20/1: There's a doorman working your Twitter account. He is totally blasé and makes people line up outside for no reason.
100/1: Who do you think you are?!
1,000/1: Too self important to care about us little people eh?
10,000/1: You are Ashton Kutcher
100,000/1: You are Bill Simmons
1,000,000/1: You are Lady Gaga
9,035,175/1: You are Marshall Mathers. Seriously? Eminem's PR people couldn't follow just one person for show? Dr. Dre?

I hope this has helped you place yourself in the Twitterverse. I know I feel much better. Like the Immortals of Persian army fame, my new goal is to hit 1,000 followers and then trim them down to always exactly 1,000. "The unit's name stemmed from the custom that every killed, seriously wounded or sick member was immediately replaced with a new one, maintaining the cohesion of the unit." I won't ask anyone be killed or seriously wounded but if you're sick, we'll handle it on a case by case basis.

Oh geezes, upon further research, the Immortals actually always numbered 10,000. Forget it, I'm just going to call my team the "1/10th Immortals." I'm an underachieving Asian anyway, it's more appropriate. Also, this is a good time to shout out my favorite Persians: Xerxes, Lilly, and Ameer. Not necessarily in that order of course.

I can't believe I just said "shout out." And used "IRL" up above. Forgive me.

The Wizard Will See You Now

2012-02-09T14:25:00.000-08:00

Last August I joined Rachael Harrie's Third Platform-Building Campaign and met some great people. As a blog addict, being exposed to so many sites was like being joyfully let out of rehab. I followed, I RSS-ed, I stalked, I cheered, I invested emotionally. I also tried to start "bangarang" as a group cheer but that attempt floundered like Spielberg's enthusiasm for Hook 2 so we're gonna need something else. Or we can just golf clap or something.

Rachael is currently throwing together a mini-Campaign, running from February through mid-March, and I'm totally in again. You should join too so we can be friends and hang out virtually. Or just lurk literally. Whichever one you want. Check out the Fourth Writers' Platform-Building Campaign information and then sign up and visit other campaigners!

Some bloggers I want to share with you (from last year's campaign):
Angela Brown | Cynthia Lee | David Powers King | Eliza | Jennifer Pickrell | Lena Corazon | Medeia Sharif | Ozlem Yikici | Susan Kaye Quinn | Shelley Koon | Trisha | Yvie Gonya

And of course, the incomparable Sophia Chang. Please don't overlook her personal campaign against word verification. It's a cause that will help us all.

I just wrapped up How a Book is Born: The Making of The Art of Fielding, expanded from an article Keith Gessen did for Vanity Fair. It's a quick read and shows a behind the scenes account of how his friend's book, The Art of Fielding, came to life. This isn't a detailed look into the publishing industry and at 17,000+ words and about sixty pages, it's not meant to be. There are a lot of interesting points and takeaway facts though.

Here's how much publishers will pony up for a coveted Barnes & Noble stand-alone table near the front: a high of $35,000 a week. Here's how many galleys for advance marketing distribution is considered a lot: 5,000 copies. A column ad in the Times Book Review can set you back $20,000. Little, Brown and Company's catalogue was seventy or so titles for fall-winter 2011. Hachette's sales force is about fifty people strong. Publishing industry consultant Mike Shatzkin has an interesting blog -- mostly about the rise of digital and e-publishing -- worth checking out.

The craziest tidbit that stuck out to me was how there's only one buyer of literary fiction for all of Barnes & Noble's 700-plus stores. Yes, one ring to rule them all! A single person's tastes dictating what gets picked up and promoted for thousands of readers. Think about that. Conceivably there's also just one person responsible for selecting young adult novels for B&N also. Or maybe there's three? Who knows. The point is that I was surprised at how few decision makers there are.

Now I've read a few books about the industry before but I've always been very aware that the book I'm reading is somewhat dated. For example, Jason Epstein's Book Business: Publishing Past, Present, and Future came out in 2002 and when I read it recently, the information was outdated -- which is no knock against the book, it was just more a time capsule. What I liked about How a Book is Born: The Making of The Art of Fielding was that it was just a few months old. The eBook came out in September 2011 and its insight into the industry was very current.

But why pay $1.99 for essentially just one long form article? Well, it was cheaper than buying the actual magazine itself. Plus, efficiently downloading the eBook onto my Kindle satisfied my instant gratification and if this is going to be the future, why not try it out?

Five Cents

2012-02-06T05:07:00.000-08:00

A sorta weekly feature of things I co-sign:

(1) YA Book Club. I heart the logo for this book club. Okay that's not the reason I'm joining. Okay maybe it is. This month they're reading The Fault In Our Stars.

(2) Bad review bingo. Definitely my new favorite game. Now I just need to gather a living room full of defensive authors together to play. Can I count on you plus one?

(3) John Scalzi answers when you can call yourself a "writer" or a "good writer." My personal answer for both is: "Tomorrow? Please?"

(4) Possible Problems and Obstacles for Superheroes to Face Besides Supervillains. They left out "bad movie adaptations" but that's alright, I still love Superhero Nation because it offers advice on how to write, edit, and sell novels and comic books.

(5) 2012 YA Releases About POC. In case you didn't know, "POC" is "people of color." Please say you knew that.

Throwback Thursday: Bunnicula

2012-02-02T01:27:00.000-08:00

Seriously, where did the green light for this book series come from? I'm certainly glad some genius editor had the foresight to publish this because how else could I have grown up with fears of a blood sucking bunny? How many people, when you read Bunnicula as kids, thought vampiric pets were actually biologically possible? Raise your hand higher!

Don't you miss the times when small domestic animals were the stars of books? Now it's all about teenagers with their super powers and secret histories. Ugh, homo sapiens, so over it. Give me a mouse on a toy motorcycle any day.

If you'll recall, the original Bunnicula was subtitled "A Rabbit-Tale of Mystery." Thrilling for 1979 but not so exciting now; nobody cares about rabbit mysteries anymore. (Well, unless you count Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.) Taking a cue from the way Hollywood recycles nostalgia, and the recent success of monster mashups like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, it's inevitable that all those crapclassic books we read growing up will soon receive similar makeovers.

Inspired by a long drive up to L.A. in traffic, I thought I'd jump ahead of the slow-footed execs and suggest my version of a Bunnicula redo for the current publishing climate.

Betsy is a young lab-raised rabbit who has never seen sunlight, tasted fresh grass, or left the confines of her cage except to receive injections of promising superdrug Strangé. After giving birth to a litter of babies, Betsy dies and is discarded by the human researchers. The next morning, Chester and Harold, a street wise cat and dog duo, are digging through the trash when they find a revived and weakened Betsy. Having never seen anything as pure and beautiful as a white bunny before, gruff but softhearted Harold convinces Chester to let him take the rabbit home.

Despite his best efforts, Harold can't nurse Betsy back to health. Even with chocolate cupcakes. When a rival gang attacks, Chester and Harold are desperately outnumbered but saved by a suddenly very alive Betsy, who has gone into a blood frenzy and kills Odie, the leader of the (other) pack. With their top dog gone, gone, gone, the surviving motley crew of cats and pigeons slink/scamper/crawl/fly/two-step away.

Stunned by the transformation of their ward, Chester and Harold are now afraid of the death bunny. They are about to leave her -- still sucking on Odie's neck -- when Betsy pleads with them to stay. Communicating images and emotions via touch, Betsy shows Chester and Harold the laboratory and the cruel testing she had to endure there.

Moved by her tale, Chester and Harold agree to help Betsy rescue her children. While still not fully understanding Betsy's condition, they work around her blood lust by feeding her non-organic fruits and vegetables (the synthetic pesticides and chemical fertilizers keep her strong). The main hurdle they encounter is that Betsy's animal nature is to be prey. Aside from that first desperate battle, Betsy's instincts are to zig zag and run around in circles. And to cower in fear.

While this passivity proved useful in the evolutionary survival of her order, Betsy needs Chester and Harold to give her lessons in offensive snarling, pouncing, swatting, and using her tiny fangs and oversized ears as weapons. The three friends will have to work together to infiltrate the lab and then lead the fight against animal experimentation. Coming to you this summer: Bunnicula Begins!

If anyone wants to go ahead and buy this right now, it's an almost complete WIP of about 350+ words, with merchandising rights also available immediately. And could someone else please redo Little House on the Prairie as dystopian?

Actually, if late 1800's Kansas wasn't already a dystopia, then I read Laura Ingalls Wilder all wrong.