All in a Day

The one with the Encouragement

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 14:30:00 +0000

Wisdom for Women in Leadership

During January, Sophia Network ran a series on Encouragement and Empowerment, in which various women were invited to share how they have experienced empowerment in their lives and ministry.

I was privileged to be asked to share my experience:

'Throughout my time in Christian ministry, I am thankful to have received encouragement in many different guises; from a casual pat on the back accompanying a ‘well done’; to kind words written in a card; through to more intentional mentoring conversations in which various abilities were identified and encouraged. All have been appreciated, and no doubt have had a positive impact on my personal development and ministry. To attempt to individually name and thank all the encouragers in my life would be an impossible task, so I offer a collective ‘thank you’ with sincerity here.

The impact of a simple word of encouragement should not be underestimated; it can literally be life changing. Sadly, the opposite can also be true. A word or a look that discourages can hinder development, and unless corrected, could potentially snuff it out altogether.

The phrase ‘it’s not your thing’ spoken to me after I (very nervously) gave a short testimony one Sunday morning became ingrained in my mind, resulting in a self-belief that I had no gifting or ability to speak to adults in a public setting at all. From then on, although happy to speak in front of young people, I avoided speaking to adults whenever possible. After all, it wasn’t my thing!

Since then, many encouraging words have been given that have helped me to loosen the hold that phrase seemed to have over me. However, one incident in particular stands out as having a significant impact on my development, and actually, I think on my life as a whole.

‘We would like you to preach at our wedding’.

Dan and Gemma, who both served on the youth team with me, were due to get married and wanted me to preach at their wedding ceremony. They must be joking?! I can’t speak in front of adults. But they were absolutely serious.

This conversation impacted me tremendously, because they demonstrated a belief in my ability, not only in theory, but also in practice. If they trusted me in this way, then perhaps I could do it after all? Despite being petrified, I did speak at their wedding, and I am thankful for the opportunity to do so - what an honour.

Encouraging words are great, but when they are accompanied by a demonstration of trust, I believe something far greater is experienced. This is true empowerment.

Jesus didn’t just speak of his love for us, he demonstrated it on the cross. Likewise, Dan and Gemma didn’t only say I had the ability to speak, they demonstrated it by entrusting me to do so. This spoke volumes.

Who is God asking you to encourage in theory and in practice?'

I found the series both encouraging and challenging as it forced me to consider how intentional and effective I am as an encourager. Why don't you click on the links and read the series?

(This post was first posted on Sophia Network on the 28th Jan 2012)

The one with the Award

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:49:00 +0000

And the 'Versatile Blogger' and 'You Bless Me' Awards go to ...... Jo Royal, at All in a Day!

Yes, this morning I awoke to find that I had received my fist ever blog award!

So, in true award winning style, I would like to thank all those who have made this possible, those who believed in me, those who take time out to read my writing, those who ...... yeah, I will stop now!

OK, so the Awards might only be a bit of blogging fun, but I am thankful to Rhoda, over at Living to Please God, who nominated me for the award. I feel encouraged to keep writing.

I have been thinking a lot about encouragement lately, and the role it plays in our Christian development. It is key. Encouragement says:

You can do it!
I'm right here with you.
You're appreciated
Hang on in there
Go for it!
You're not alone.

I appreciate all the encouragement that comes my way - it keeps me going!

It is a joy to receive encouragement - but 'It is better to give than to receive' (Act 20:25)

So, I'm giving. One of the 'conditions' of receiving the award requires the recipient to pass it on. This is rather like a chain letter, but without the curse!! There is no threat of writer's block, or your blog losing readers if the award isn't passed on. The 'magic' is in the joy of being able to encourage someone.

I therefore send some Blogging Award encouragement to five blogs that I enjoy reading. And perhaps you can encourage them too, by hopping over to their blogs to say hello!

1 - Sam at The End of my Tether? Sam is such an inspiration. In her blog she shares her journey as a Cystic Fibrosis sufferer. She is funny, real, informative, challenging and truly inspirational as she invites her readers to join her on the journey, always pointing to the Hope that she has in God. If you only follow one of my suggestions - make sure it is this one. You wont regret it.

2+3 - It is always good to encourage new bloggers, so I am sending an award to both Hannah at Not Yet Perfect and Gemma at Whirlwind through Life. Both these bloggers share their thoughts and experiences as they work out what life as a Christian really means. Ladies, keep it up! :)

4 - I am also sending a Blogging Award over to Laura at Fingertip Meditations - Laura was the first follower I had on my blog that I didn't know personally. I have enjoyed reading her blog - especially as she unpacks her thoughts about Christian living in a very down-to-earth way.

5 - And, finally, Emma at A New Name. I absolutely love reading this blog. Emma has an amazing way of writing, that not only entertains, but really provokes thought. She shares with brilliance. I appreciate her transparent thoughts (and challenges!) a lot.

(Nominees - here is the part where I tell you that if you choose to accept the award, you must put the badge on your website, nominate a further five bloggers to receive the award, and tell us five random facts about you! - Of course, I don't really expect you to - but hey, you may choose to accept the challenge to encourage someone instead?)

And there's more ...

The other condition of receiving the award is that I share five little known facts about myself. Ok, time for a bit of self-indulgence - and pressure to portray my life as exciting, funny, quirky, spiritual - or whatever! Forget that, I am just going with randomness!

1 - I own 16 pairs of Converse.

2 - I have been to Colin Firth's House (OK, so he wasn't in - but I did see baby pictures!!)

3 - I love hanging out in my local Starbucks - and, depending on the barista - I can walk in and ask for my usual.

4 - I really really really dislike butterflies, moths and ladybirds. I will freak if they come near me.

5 - I am all or nothing. If I can't do something well, I would rather not do it.

There - that's me!

Enjoy your day :)

The one with the Token

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:42:00 +0000

I totally agreed. Positive discrimination and tokenism were wrong. Always.

The agreement came during a question and answer session at Inspire, the Assemblies of God Probationary Ministers' Conference last year.

The question: All those on the National Leadership Team are white men. Is this a fair representation and good example to the rest of the denomination?

The answer: It isn't about example, it is about choosing the best people for the job, and we believe we have. It would be wrong to invite someone on the NLT for any other reason.

Positive discrimination and tokenism had been the subject of many discussions whilst I was at college, and I knew firmly where I stood on the matter. So, when the National Leader of the Assemblies of God answered in the way he did, I nodded shamelessly in agreement.

According to Jeeves 'Positive discrimination is regarded as the preferential treatment of members of a minority group over a majority group, either by sex, race, age, marital status or sex orientation. It is generally considered illegal and unlawful.' I absolutely agree.

I had a similar perspective on Tokenism. How could anyone expect a job to be accepted on these grounds? How insulting to be asked to join a team or organisation as a minority in order to create a false appearance of inclusive practice? Outrageous!

Would I accept employment based on my gender, race, age ... and not my ability? Absolutely not. It is both insulting and devaluing. A role or opportunity should be given and accepted on ability and value - and nothing else!

Or so I thought. But recently, my thoughts on the matter have begun to teeter. Am I becoming fickle?

I don't think so. Instead, I see maturity developing, as I begin to ask questions that force me to seek answers from a wider perspective. A perspective that moves beyond the now and into the future.

Because, what if tokenism, or positive discrimination, inadvertently becomes the catalyst for change?

What if it opens eyes, ears, hearts and minds to something different; something never experienced or witnessed before?

What if a 'token' demonstrates a gifting and ability that challenges prejudice?

What if a 'token' confronts agendas and structures?

What if a 'token' creates cracks in that which has always been set in stone?

What if a 'token' paves the way for change?

Would it always be wrong?

I am not so sure anymore.

So, I am challenged. If I were offered a position as a (suspected) result of positive discrimination or tokenism should I automatically turn it down on principle? Or, instead, is there value in seeing it as an opportunity to influence future decisions?

And if so, taking it further, should this consideration also have an impact on the opportunities that we give to others?

Is it always as simple as choosing the best person for the job?

Or are there times we should see past the immediate performance and consider the bigger picture.

I am beginning to think that the best person for the job isn't necessarily the person most able to perform the required task. Instead, the best person for the job maybe the one whose involvement will challenge preconceived ideas and structures.

It is a tension between immediate results and lasting impact.

It involves risk taking, visionary thinking and wisdom, but I also think it has the potential to change the future.

Question is, am I willing to put it into practice? I hope I am not too proud, or set in my ways to say yes.

What do you think?

Guest Blogging Weekend!

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 15:00:00 +0000

This weekend is one of guest blogging for me!

Yesterday, my experience of encouragement was included in a series Sophia Network are running throughout January.

And today, my thoughts on 'take a handful' can be read over at Anita's Blog - Dreaming Beneath the Spires.

Why don't you pop on over and have a look - and whilst you're there - have a look around their blogs as well - I recommend both of them!

The one with all the rain

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:54:00 +0000

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As I neared my destination, I sat in a queue waiting for the traffic lights to change. I stared out the window at the gloomy sky above. Grey. Everywhere. It was miserable and it seemed to descend, not only as rain on the windscreen, but as a blanket of melancholy around my being. My eyes searched for a glimmer of hope, but it was set to stay.

The lights changed and I pulled away, leaving my depressing thoughts to fall to the ground with the rain.

Yes, it was raining; Yes, it was miserable. But, it wouldn't last forever!

My life of late has been like a grey day. It has seemed as though clouds are being blown my way, one after another. It has been difficult, and the rain has set in.

And yet, I have hope.

Because, behind the clouds, I know I can find the sun. It doesn't cease to exist when the clouds come, but waits patiently behind, ready to shine through once again. And the clouds, well, they wont last forever. Their strength will fade, and soon disappear.

There are times in our lives when God seems distant, and we struggle to see him through our experiences. We see the confusion, feel the hurt, hear the struggles - when all we really want to know, is that God is there.

He is. Just as the sun rests behind the clouds on a rainy day, God remains. He is always there. He is constant. He is faithful. He never changes and will never leave us.

If life is tough at the moment, can I remind you that God is there. He knows what you are going through, and he cares. He hasn't deserted you. Cling on to the true Hope that can only be found in Jesus.

The rain will stop, the clouds will pass, and the Son will shine though.

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Hang on in there!

Cheap as ... salt?

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 11:01:00 +0000

Over the last week I have posted several reflections on 'salt' from Matthew 5. It has definitely been seasoning my thoughts! And, as I received an email containing the latest edition of the GB Assemblies of God weekly E-News, it would seem I am not the only one ...

Ian Watson, member of the AoG National Leadership Team, shares his thoughts ... (copied with permission)

'Why Salt?

It is interesting in Matthew 5 that Jesus likens his followers to one of the cheapest items in the supermarket – Salt!

Is he suggesting that we are cheap or only equivalent to throw away stuff? Not at all, to liken us to salt is an incredible compliment. Why?

Well salt is concentrated, it only takes a little amount to make a big difference - the old term used is ‘a pinch of salt’. I’m convinced that Jesus is suggesting that we are far more influential than we think. Someone once said ‘One with God is a majority. God is into Synergy. One can put a hundred to flight and two can handle a thousand.’

Salt is also distinctive. As a child at school, I remember putting salt in the sugar bowl. Soon facial expression highlighted the distinctiveness. Distinctive is what we are called to be. The bible says do not let the world squeeze you into its mould.

Another benefit of salt is that it is a preservative. Once before freezers were in existence, meat used to be preserved by rubbing blocks of salt into the carcass of the animal, this in turn slowed down the process of decay. That is exactly the impact that God desires us to have in our world today. As we come into contact with people in a spiritual sense, we rub shoulders with them and something of our lifestyle should influence them. Jesus came into contact with Zacchaeus, the woman at the well, the woman caught in the act of adultery and he immediately brought change thus halting the process of decay.

In all the complexities and challenges of leadership we must never forget the simplicity and effectiveness of being salt that brings savour to blandness. Amen!'

Ian Watson
National Leadership Team

(10th January 2012)

So ... salt may be one of the cheapest products in the supermarket ... but the difference it makes is priceless!!

Read my own reflections on Salt here and here.

The one with the candle

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 12:52:00 +0000

Last night, I lit a candle.

Nothing unusual, or even interesting there. I often burn candles; I love the ambiance they help to create in my home. The flickering, the scents ...

But last night something changed. It can't have been the candle, for it had been lit several times previously. Neither can it have been its position, as it sat on table that had been its home for a while.

Whispered Wish Candle

The change was in my reaction to the scent. It irritated me. In fact, it irritated me to such an extent that it had to be blown out. But I had enjoyed it so much over Christmas.

Over Christmas. I wondered. Was that it? That the candle had been experienced and enjoyed over the Christmas season, and now that was past? Yes, that was it! The scent that I had loved so much over Christmas, with its festivities and fun, now felt out of season. It no longer danced with the lights on the tree as the Christmas music played. Its 'magic' had gone.

'For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven ...' (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Seasons change.

The candle's season is over, and it needs to be put away. I wonder how many other things in my life I need to put away? What am I still holding on to that I need to let go of? What has become 'out of season' and is now without purpose, ineffective, and even irritating?

Which scents do I continue to burn, that mask the aroma of this new season?

What keeps me focusing on the past, diverting my eyes from the reality that God is doing a new thing?

What about you?

The one with more salt

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 11:12:00 +0000

It occurred to me a few hours after posting my last blog that I may have rushed past a rather key point.

The post spoke about Christians being salt, and the necessity of getting out of the salt grinder in order to be effective in the world; after all, if the salt remains locked away in the grinder, its saltiness is pointless.

However, upon reflection, I feel I may have skimmed over something rather important.

Woman carrying salt to prepare

I looked at the salt inside the clear glass grinder and considered the work that had taken place already. You see, whilst I am pretty clueless in the whole area of salt preparation, the limited knowledge I do have tells me that the salt crystals are not simply picked from a tree and put in the container! The white crystals, composed primarily of sodium chloride (yes, I googled it!) has to go through a rigourous process before being placed on our kitchen tables and sprinkled on our food.

To be honest, the table salt making process is of little interest to me. So, other than to say, it takes a whole lot of time and effort, I will stop with the salt talk now.

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But, I do hope to be an effective Christian example to those I meet. I would love my character, words and actions to propel people to seek Jesus for themselves. My guess is that this wont just happen; it will require time and effort. Time spent in the presence of God, allowing him to shape, season and purify and effort as I ensure each day is lived in such a way that this time is created.

Time and effort - is God asking for more of this?

A short post today, because really, we all know it. We cannot be effective on our own. We need God to work in us and through us. We need him to make us 'salty'.

Continually.

The one with the salt

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 16:34:00 +0000

#6monthBible

Last night, I lay awake thinking about salt. Not the most exciting of thoughts really, until I realised that perhaps God wanted me to think his Word through in a bit more detail. Had I missed something?

Yesterday's Bible reading plan led me to that all familiar passage in Matthew, that speaks of Christians being salt and light. It is a portion of scripture that I know very well, and have spoken on several times in the past. So, I admit, a fair amount of glossing took place. I scanned over the words, eager to reach a less familiar scripture for God to speak to me through. My intention was good, I wanted to hear from God; to learn something new and insightful.

But ... I think I missed the point!!

I picked up Tom Wright's 'The New Testament for Everyone' (brilliant by the way!) and re-read the passage:

'You're the salt of the earth! But, if the salt becomes tasteless, how is it going to get salty again? It's no good for anything. You might as well throw it out and walk all over it.

You're the light of the world! A city can't be hidden if it's on top of a hill. People don't light a lamp and put it under a bucket; they put it on a lampstand. Then it gives light to everybody in the house. That's how you must shine your light in front of people! Then they will see what wonderful things you do, and they'll give glory to your Father in Heaven.'' (Matthew 5:13-16)

It was the last verse that struck me as significant. 'That's how you must shine your light in front of people!' In front of people? Like a performance in a theatre?

Thinking this through, I backed up a little and thought about salt in this context. How does this 'in front of people' fit with us being salt of the earth?

And then, I thought of my salt grinder in the cupboard. As a family we don't use salt that often, but I do like a bit of salt on my chips. So, on the rare occasion chips are on the menu, the salt grinder comes out of the cupboard and is placed on the table. The chips can then be seasoned to taste! Yum!

But, in order for the salt to actually make a difference to the taste of my chips - it needs to come out of the grinder! Nothing special happens when it is set free from the container, but it is ineffective all the time it is in there.

It is the same with our example in the world. We cannot expect to make a difference unless we get ourselves out of the grinder and into the community. This isn't about a performance, a 'look at me, aren't I a good Christian', but it is about allowing people to see Jesus in us - so they can see 'what wonderful things we do - AND GIVE GLORY TO OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN!'

Of course, we need to ensure we are salty, and that requires regular time spent with God, allowing him to season us - but then - let's get out there and make a difference - in our families, our neighbourhoods, our schools, places of work, churches, shopping centres, supermarket queues, Zumba classes ... you get the point!! Anywhere and everywhere!!

Prepared to be the salt of the earth?

The one with the big ask

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 09:23:00 +0000

#6monthBible

Genesis 6 - 12. I was already fairly familiar with the passages - Noah, the flood, the tower of Babel, and the introduction of Abram and his call. Nothing shiny and new to read, and yet, this never stops God from revealing new insights or gentle reminders pertinent to our current situation, does it? I love that.

Both Noah and Abram were asked to do some pretty big things by God.

Noah was asked to build a boat

'So God said to Noah, 'I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. So make yourself an ark ...' (Genesis 6)


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+ Knowing that God was going to destroy the earth and the people - that must have been a lot to take on board and carry around. I wonder how he reacted with his neighbour when he bumped into him putting the rubbish out at night?!

+ An ark? We all know what the ark looks like - we have seen pictures! But it would have been totally new to Noah. An ark had never before been built, and God gave some pretty specific instructions regarding dimensions and materials! He had to follow God's directions perfectly. No - yes ok God, but I will find a quicker and easier way to do it. He was expected to follow the detailed instructions exactly.

+ It hadn't been raining! There were no puddles, net alone flood warnings! Actually, it is even possible that Noah may not have even seen rain before. And yet, God commanded him to build a boat. I think I might have felt just a little bit silly if it were me!! (Ok, a lot!)

Building an ark was a big ask - and yet Noah was obedient.

Abram was asked to leave everything

The Lord had said to Abram, 'Go from your country, your people and your father's household to the land I will show you' (Genesis 12)

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+ God asked Abram to move to a land he hadn't even heard of or seen before. He didn't have the opportunity to go there on holiday first to check it out.

+ Abram was not only asked to leave his house, but most of his friends and family too.

He was asked to do a lot more than step out of his comfort zone a little bit! It was a big ask - and yet Abram was obedient.

Both Noah and Abram obeyed God - and God promised great things because of this.

What is it God is asking us to do at the moment? Is it really such a big ask?

The one where God didn't smirk

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:26:00 +0000

#6monthBible

Last year I tried to read the Bible through in a year. I failed. Miserably. I started off with all good intentions, following a chronological reading plan along with others in church. However, I got to Job and really began to struggle. Will you judge me for admitting I found him a little bit too miserable at the time? The beginning of last year was difficult for me as I had a few struggles of my own to contend with, and I guess I just didn't cope too well with the additional doom and gloom of Job's experience. So, I gave up. I didn't give up reading the Bible, but I gave up on the plan.

This year, I am in a different place emotionally and spiritually, and feel up to a new challenge. I will try, and if I fail, so be it. Better to try and fail, than not try at all though, right?

So, my new challenge - is to read the Bible through in six months. This involves reading around six chapters from the Old Testament, one Psalm, and two chapters from the New Testament six days a week. It will be tough, but I am keen to give it a go!

I am not alone in this venture. Several people I have met through Twitter will be undertaking the same challenge, and we will be tweeting our thoughts and sharing with each other this way. I thought it might also help me to focus if I committed to sharing some of my thoughts in brief on here as well. I cannot promise to write anything amazingly new or profound, but I can try to reveal a window of insight into my heart and mind as I read the scriptures and allow God to speak through them. I also hope my rambles offer a little inspiration to others as well.

Day One - God didn't smirk
(Genesis 3)

So, Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate from the forbidden tree. We all know the story. The serpent convinced Eve it really wasn't that bad, and Eve caved. She ate the fruit and then gave some to Adam to eat as well. They both messed up. God had told them not to, and they did. Two children disobeying their Father's orders. (Here enters the fall of mankind ... but that is not what I want to draw out today)

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What do Adam and Eve do?
Adam and Eve become aware of their nakedness and run off to find somewhere to hide.

What does God do?
He acknowledges their disobedience and dishes out their punishment - (they did disobey GOD after all!) but then...

The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.

He made them clothes to hide their nakedness.

Instead of smirking and watching them squirm with embarrassment - He made them clothes!

Wow.

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I am not so sure I would have responded the same way. If my children had gone out in the rain and jumped in puddles after being told not to - and were drenched - I would be tempted to say: 'well - if you had not been disobedient you wouldn't be in this mess - now you are going to be wet and cold all day!' But that isn't how God would respond. Yes, a punishment would be given for our disobedience, but then a dry set of clothes would be provided for us to wear.

God is Just - he cannot ignore disobedience. But he is also full of GRACE - and loves to bless his children. Grace is right there at the beginning.

Thank you God that you give even when we don't deserve it. Your Grace is AMAZING.

The one where I 'come out' (Part Four)

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 13:07:00 +0000

*This is the fourth in a series of posts explaining how and why I decided to 'come out' as an Egalitarian. This post will make a lot more sense in light of the first post, second post and third post*

So, it was out: God had called me into pastoral ministry. Finally, after many years of silence, I was free to completely follow his voice. I could put down fear, take off apprehension, and do away with guilt. God had spoken. I knew it and my pastor knew it.

Simple?

'Men lead, women follow'
'Women are not permitted to teach'
'Women should remain silent in church'

These beliefs had become ingrained within my being. My calling as a Christian women must fit within these scriptural constraints. The battle for understanding, and unity of heart and mind exhausted me. I wasn't strong enough. Following the call would not only create an internal battle, but it would cause tension and rock the boat in the church as well. But God had called and surely his voice would triumph?

For several years I bounced back and forth in my thoughts. Should I push it? Should I continue to serve God and let him open the doors? Nothing. Should I push it? And so it continued.

I began to search and ask God to reveal a focus to my calling. Maybe my 'pastoring' would remain with the young people I worked with. This would be ok. I believed God had given me a passion to see young lives changed by the transforming work of Jesus. An incredible ministry to be involved in.

But ... I felt there was more.

What? How? When? So many questions that once again I kept to myself. Why didn't I talk this through with my pastor or anyone else? I feared appearing pushy or power-seeking. I didn't want to be like one of those women; those spoken negatively of in leadership circles resulting in skepticism and fear of women in leadership. I wasn't like them; I was different. I had a 'male' style of leadership that set me apart. Back then I simply accepted this ridiculous and offensive label. I actually think I was quite proud of it. I didn't question why my style was 'male', or why a man presenting himself with a passion to serve God in ministry received encouragement and support, whilst a woman with such passion experienced criticism and even oppression. I am sorry I ignored this for so long. I should have spoken up and challenged the idea, although I suspect this may well have provided more fuel for their fire. It's a difficult pattern to change. But it must.

It wasn't all kept locked away though, as I enrolled at a distance learning course at Mattersey Bible College. This required me to approach the church leadership and seek their approval. They gave it, and I felt as though things were moving in the right direction at last. I knew I needed to develop academically. I had such a thirst for the Truth. I studied hard and learnt a lot. But the most significant learning experience during this time was the realisation that the interpretation and application of scripture is not always that simple.

And with this realisation I was released to see a different biblical view of women in leadership without feeling heretical. The black and white slowly began to merge to form a grey area that needed to be studied, discussed, and prayed through. I read books on the subject and tentatively opened the discussion with select friends. A peace began to settle. The voice I had heard on numerous occasions might not be in direct conflict with the Bible after all. It made sense. I understood more about the context in which the books were written and learnt of various academic debates regarding words in difficult passages. I saw how it was possible to obey God without going against Scripture.

I was introduced to Complementarianism and Egalitarianism. Although my intellectual understanding steered towards egalitarianism, I still stood within the Complementarian Camp if challenged. Who was I to go against the traditional teaching of my church?

Before I had finished my course at Mattersey, God stepped in and altered the course of my life in an amazing way. One of the older youth asked me to attend an open day at Moorlands College with him as he was considering studying there. As I sat with potential students and their parents I experienced a strange mix of emotion. Excitement led the way as I experienced the joy of sitting in a lecture room at Bible College participating in a sample lecture. I LOVED IT. But joy receded as envy took over. These people had an opportunity to study here and I was insanely jealous. Why them? And then a blanket of sadness descended as I realised this was where I should be. But I had ignored God and it was now too late. I had missed my chance to be in the will of God and I was truly crushed.

But, God had a different plan! Amazingly, I ended up in discussion with one of the lecturers (these should have been booked in advance by potential students only) and she introduced me to the idea of studying for a degree placement based. Within three weeks I had filled out an application form, attended an interview, and received a letter of acceptance. I was going to Bible College to study for a degree in Applied Theology (and youth and community work). Bible College. My feet didn't touch the ground for weeks!!

I cannot begin to describe how much my time at Moorlands changed my life. I knew God had called me to study there and I allowed him to develop and shape me. And he did, way more than I could ever have imagined. Foundational beliefs about myself, my calling, and even my faith were stripped right down, and had to be slowly and prayerfully built back up again. When all my other 'rocks' were shattered, I began to understand what it really meant to trust in God and lean not on my own understanding. I was broken and lost - and yet I found freedom and acceptance to be who God created me to be. (You can hear a short testimony I gave at my Graduation ceremony about my experience at Moorlands here)

Towards the end of my second year I knew I needed to let go of past fears and discuss my future ministry development with my Sr. Pastor. This marked the beginning of my application process to apply to train as a minister with the Assemblies of God. Alongside my studies at Moorlands, I filled in application forms, wrote essays on the AoG foundational beliefs, requested references, attended interviews, and finally heard the words I had longed to hear for so long - 'We (Assemblies of God Ministers Training Panel) have no doubt that God has called you to pastoral ministry'. Amazing. I had heard God's voice nearly twenty years ago and he hadn't given up on me. I continued my probationary ministers training with such excitement and thankfulness that God is bigger than our fears and insecurities.

Totally posing at Graduation!!

I completed my degree at Moorlands and graduated with First Class Honours in 2010. As had been the plan for a while, I was offered a paid role at church upon completion of my degree. God was faithful. I had a degree in Theology, was training to be a Pastor, and now had a paid role at church which included Youth Pastoring, Ladies Ministry, Mentoring, Leading, and lots more. It had been a long and difficult journey - but it was worth it. I had arrived at where I believed God wanted me: In Pastoral Ministry within the local church.

And then I discovered that my role, although taking on the form of pastoral ministry and leadership, would be titled 'PA'. I would become the Sr. Pastor's Personal Assistant?! Whilst I have nothing against the work of a PA - it wasn't what I had been called to do, and it wasn't what I was training to do, and it wasn't what I was being asked to do. Where had 'PA' come from? Would a male in the same position be called a PA? I felt physically sick.

(I must add here that I honestly believe no offense was intended with the suggestion of 'PA'. A title was needed, and it probably seemed acceptable at the time)

I was gutted.

As I tried to tell myself that the title didn't matter - I realised that it was no longer about me. It was about the experience of all women. If I continued to keep quiet, could I expect anything to ever change? How many other women would walk a similar path and end up unable to fulfill God's calling on their lives?

I knew I had to say something, and this time it was obvious a little whisper would not be enough.

Part One in this series
Part Two in this series
Part Three in this series

The one where I 'come out' (Part Three)

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 13:20:00 +0000

*This is the third in a series of posts explaining how and why I decided to 'come out' as an Egalitarian. This post will make a lot more sense in light of the first post and second post*

When I became a Christian at fifteen I knew it would be a lifetime commitment. It wasn't a fickle or half-hearted decision; it had been well considered, weighed up, and thought out. When I sought forgiveness from God and asked him into my life as Lord and Saviour, I meant it. From then on I would live my life for him. At least, that has always been my aim. It isn't always easy, but it is something I continue to strive for. And always will.

I have never been particularly good at doing things by halves, so threw myself into absorbing everything 'Christian' in order to live the life as best I could. I recognised the need to change, to put my old way of living and thinking behind me, and I took this seriously. I socialised in the Christian community, observed the life of more established Christians, and listened to their interpretation of the Scriptures. I also watched the way they related to each other, and let this permeate into my being.

Image Source

Life was good. I loved being a daughter of God and I loved the church.

I even loved the challenge of living biblically, and the set of rules that came with it. Actually, I thrived on them, appreciating the boundaries they created. Abiding by them meant that I fit the 'good Christian girl' mould and belonged. This was important to me; I needed to belong.

I threw myself into church life and served wherever I could. Several years later I found myself running a youth group with my boyfriend (now husband). We ran a group for the youth from the estate, and I loved being able to share Jesus' love with them in a practical way. For a number of reasons this group had to close, but my involvement with young people continued when we were asked to lead the Christian youth group (at that time they were split!). I knew that God had given me a passion for young people, and I felt privileged to have the opportunity to impact on their lives.

I felt in the right place. I was able to love, motivate, challenge, teach, inspire. It was what God had called me to do, I was sure of it. But how did this fit with the instructions of Timothy? I considered this verse amongst others, and concluded that in this context it was okay. I led the group under the authority of my husband (a man), and I only taught young people (no 'men'). I could fulfill what it was I believed God had called me to without breaking any of the 'rules'. Life continued to go well ...

Until a quiet voice began to say... 'I have called you into ministry to pastor my people'.

Surely I misheard. This must be for my husband? But he hadn't heard it, and still hasn't to this day.

It didn't go away. In fact, it grew louder and stronger. God, you can't mean me, have you overlooked something - I am not a man! Confused and ashamed, I kept quiet. Asking God for forgiveness, I prayed that I would have a clearer understanding of his will for my life. A life that reflected my belief that men lead and women follow. A life that clearly didn't involve a call into ministry. And yet, it didn't go away.

'Some of you here this morning are called to be Pastors' - my heartbeat doubled in speed and I knew God was speaking to me. But how could this be? I still kept quiet.

I spoke nothing of it for ten years. During this time God continued to confirm his call. Visiting ministers prophesied over me in line with what I had already heard. I still kept quiet. I learnt how to deflect God's call towards my work with the youth. It was acceptable then. I still fit the 'good Christian girl mould' and obeyed the rules. But in my heart I knew I had heard from God, and despite all efforts, I couldn't completely ignore it.

And then the volume and intensity increased. Every direction I turned, I heard it. I could no longer find a haven from his voice. I knew I had to respond. But how? What was I allowed to do? I considered my work with young people, and decided to apply for a course in Christian counseling. A safe avenue to go down. But I didn't feel God's peace, and knew I was still running.

I am aware that in divulging the above it may well be concluded that my thoughts and actions demonstrate a fear of man, and lack of trust in God. And I can understand this. However, as my opening paragraph declares, I really do strive to live my life according to his will. The difficulty was that his will seemed to be going against what I read in the bible. This was the tension I had to live with. I feared that questioning might label me a trouble maker at best, and heretical at worst.

The interview date for the counseling course arrived and I began to prepare for it. It still didn't feel absolutely right for me, but what harm would it do? It would still benefit my work with young people; at least I was doing something.

A week before my interview, God stepped in. It blew me away.

It was a Friday afternoon and I had Youth Alpha to set up for at church. I had a lot of chairs to move but I didn't mind at all. It provided an ideal opportunity to pray for the young people attending. It excited me and I loved that I could be a part of it. The Senior Pastor turned up to sort through paperwork in the office. We had a quick tea break together before carrying on with our work. Twenty minutes later he reappeared and stopped me. And then he said it. Words that I will NEVER forget ...

'This might not be for now, but I feel God prompting me to ask you, do you feel called into ministry?' Boom!

I had kept silent for ten years; no one except my husband knew. And now, God had told someone else: the Senior Pastor, who had taught and modeled male only leadership. The relief. The emotion. The presence and peace of God that filled my heart.

But, there remained a lot to work through - in theory and in practice. The battle wasn't over. In fact, with hindsight, it had only just begun ...

You may also like:
Part One in this series
Part Two in this series
Part Four in this series

The one with the Symphony

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 15:20:00 +0000

This morning, as I sat in church, I knew that God wanted to speak to me. Of course he did, he loves to speak to us doesn't he? I just hadn't anticipated it stirring me up as much as it did.

God of Justice, Saviour to all,

Came to rescue the weak and the poor ...

As I stood worshiping God, I felt a nudge to stop. At times I can get so caught up in the music, the words, the atmosphere, that I forget the One to whom I am singing: The Creator God. It is all for, and about, Him. Not me. So I stopped, and as I did, God spoke deep into my heart.

There is a whole world outside the comfort and stability of our church walls that Jesus came to rescue. We all know it don't we? And we continue to sing ...

Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go

To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in every way
Walking humbly before You God

You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord

(Tim Hughes, God of Justice, Holding Nothing Back, 2007)

Jesus, fill me up and send me out. I prayed it and I meant it, and God started to give me a glimpse of where it was he was sending me.

And then, we were reminded of our upcoming Carol service and told to invite people.

The moment passed, and I felt as though a book had been taken away before I had the chance to finish the chapter. God had been filling me up to send me out, and I felt ready for the challenge. A challenge that he had been preparing and equipping me for. A challenge to invite people to the Carol service?

I couldn't help feel as though we were missing the point. We had been asking God to fill us up and send us out, and then perhaps we limited the response. Was God sending us out to bring people back to the same church at the same time? Or did he have his own plans? Was he equipping us for the same job? Or did he have a different work set aside for each of us? And as I thought about this I felt God say ...

Do you only listen to what people say, or do you also listen to me?

Do you only do what people tell you to do, or do you also do what I ask you to?

Do you follow people, or do you follow me?

God is a creative God, and his people are all different. He designed it this way.

He doesn't paint us all the same colour.

He doesn't ask us to play the same instrument.

He doesn't give us all the same fragrance.

If we were all a shade of green, how could we paint with yellows or blues?
God asks for different colours so that together we can form a rainbow.

Image Source

If we all play the flute, how can there be an orchestra?
God asks for different instruments so that together we can play a symphony.

If we all had the fragrance of a Rose, what of the cut grass?
God asks for different fragrances, to encapsulate the scent of a summer's day.

We are unique. We have different gifts to use, and different people to reach. This is God's plan and purpose for the world.

We need to ask Him to fill us up and send us out ... not to follow the footsteps of another but to carve the path that he has called us to. A path that will feed the hungry and stand beside the broken. A path walked in humility with God. And we need to encourage and empower others to do the same.

Fill us up and send us out - as an army of people - marching to your drumbeat Lord.

The one where I 'come out' (Part Two)

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 08:44:00 +0000

*This is the second in a series of posts explaining how and why I chose to 'come out' as an Egalitarian. This post will probably make a lot more sense in light of the first post.*

Sugar and spice and all things nice, that's what little girls are made of, right?

As a young girl I used to detest this verse because I felt it commanded me to fit in a box with all other girls: girls that fashioned pink dresses and matching hair ribbons, girls that skipped merrily along holding their Barbies, girls that played house wearing mummy's high heels - girls that were nothing like me!

Me in my football pjs

I seemed to be made of something entirely different. I wore a red tracksuit, kicked a ball, climbed trees and often had mud in my fingernails. But I was still a girl.

Throughout my childhood I preferred the company of boys, not because I thought they were better, or wanted to be one, but because they generally enjoyed the same activities as I did. They went to the park to play football, rode in the woods on their BMX bikes, and swung from the tallest of trees. I say 'they' but really I mean 'we'. At the time it wasn't 'them' and 'us', no gender divide, we were just a group of kids enjoying the innocence and freedom of childhood.

And then, things changed. I moved up into the next class at Junior School and found I could no longer play football during the break. Footballs were only allowed on the top playground, and only boys had the privilege to use it. The bottom playground could be used by all. Suddenly, I was forced not only away from my friends, but into place of extreme boredom and discomfort. I didn't want to skip! I wanted to play football!

So, I did what any ten year old would do - I marched down the corridor and knocked on the Head Master's office door. Fueled with a sense of injustice, I proceeded to voice my anger. Of course, in my ten year old world, it was all about me: I thought the rule unfair. I couldn't play with my friends. I wanted to play football. I was good at football. I wanted to be able to do what I wanted in my breaktime. I was cross!!

Image Source

I don't remember the Head Master's exact answer, but I do recall him asking the opinion of a couple of the boys. Would they be happy with a girl playing on 'their' playground? I think about it now and my blood boils, but at the time they answered 'yes' and I was happy. I could continue to play football with my friends, and once again life was good. I was their equal ... and it carried on that way.

Until I became a Christian.

At the age of fifteen my friend invited me to a Christian youth group. I had never before been interested in Christianity and knew next to nothing about it, but the group sounded fun so I decided to give it a go. However, I made it absolutely clear to all involved that I had no interest in the 'God stuff', and I really meant it. God had other plans though. Six months later I recognised and acknowledged the Truth, and committed my life to Jesus. Forever.

This commitment changed everything: I belonged to a new family, had a new social schedule, and a new set of rules to follow. I was a new creation; the old 'Jo' had gone. This new life excited me, and I threw myself into learning as much as I could. I learnt about forgiveness and grace. I learnt about God's love and the cross. And I learnt that God created men to lead and women to follow.

I longed to please God, and at the time assumed this meant believing, accepting and living everything I was told. Why wouldn't I? I had never read the Bible before, but they had. I put my trust in their knowledge and soaked in their wisdom. I simply accepted.

I read the Bible, listened to sermons, spoke with Christians and observed their way of life. I wanted to be a good Christian - I stopped swearing, smiled at shop assistants, and washed the dishes without complaining. I also accepted my new role as a Christian woman.

It felt uncomfortable. It felt unfair. It felt wrong. I had always believed in equality, and I couldn't quite make it fit. But Christianity was about sacrifice and surrender and the laying aside of one's own thoughts and feelings - and the ten year old who fought for justice in the school playground must now be ignored. God had ordered things differently, and who was I to question it? I told myself off, buried those thoughts deep inside, and prayed they would stay there.

And they did.

Because no one told me that it was ok to read the Scriptures, and question their meaning.
No one told me that God is big enough to cope when asked 'why?'
No one told me that Christians are not always in agreement with each other.
And no one told me that being a 'good' Christian didn't mean disengaging my brain, surrendering my character, and becoming a carbon copy of somebody else.

So I kept quiet, accepted their teaching, and worked hard to fit into their mould.

Until I started to hear God speak ...

(Part three to follow)

You may also like:
Part One in this series
Part Three in this series
Part Four in this series

The one where I 'come out' (Part One)

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 08:25:00 +0000

I write this post series with a degree of apprehension, not because I am ashamed of the content, but because I suspect it may produce a few uncomfortable waves on what has always been a fairly calm sea. It may cause the boat to rock.

So why write? Because, in the attempt not to create ripples for others, my internal boat is being tossed about ferociously in a raging storm. The extreme motion is nauseating, with thoughts and emotions churning, waiting to be spewed during an unexpected moment of weakness. And when it happens, there will be little time to run into a place of inconspicuousness - it will be messy and people will be caught in the line of fire.

Whilst this would cause vexation and discomfort, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Embarrassed apologies would be offered, the mess cleaned up, and the smell fade with time. The incident would soon become a distant memory and life would move on.

But this is what I am afraid of. Life moving on, and nothing really changing. The risk is then that the very same attitudes and experiences that have caused anxiety, heartache and confusion in my life, could far too easily become entangled in the experiences of others. Is this really what I want? Do I wish to see others struggling to navigate the familiar stormy waters?

No, I really don't. Not at all. It hasn't been fun. It has silenced me and held me back. At times it has caused me to question and even hate who I am. Strong words, but it is time to be honest. No more hiding at the bottom of the seabed in the hope that the storm will pass, and the fierce waves surrender to calmer waters.

Running away wont help. Exploding over it wont help. As I see it now, there is only one answer to the problem, and that is to open up the discussion in an open, honest, and loving way. I acknowledge that this will be uncomfortable for some, just as it has been for me over the years, and I hope that my thoughts will be received with the graciousness with which I will aim to write. I am not looking to offend or cause irritation, but merely to share a journey traveled in order to encourage a change in attitudes and practice.

But what about unity? This has been something I have literally lost sleep over. What if my speaking up causes discomfort and upset? What if it leaves people in a place of confusion, being forced to consider the crossroads in their own journey of understanding? What if ignorance was bliss and I burst their bubble?

But, what if my honest speaking has an alternative effect and begins to challenge oppression?

Should it be completely overlooked for the sake of unity?

How might those being oppressed answer?

Does love encourage us to hide oppression or expose it?

I know what I think.

The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour (Luke 4:18-19).

I had no idea this preamble would take me to this verse. Originally, I expected only to share a journey of conformity and confusion in order to offer a glimpse of hope to those riding the same storm. However, having given my fingers permission to type what is truly in my heart and mind, it seems the foundation upon which these words are formed, is the desire to see the above verse realised here on earth. I can no longer gloss over these words, leaving them in the hands of someone else. It is time to accept this is my responsibility.

My own journey involves oppression. Perhaps not to the extremity experienced by so many others, but enough to hold me back, and force me to create a persona that says 'this is fine', whilst in reality it hurts. And I know I am not alone here.

The cause of such oppression? My being a woman. More specifically, my experience of what it means to be a Christian woman.

Over the next few posts, I intend to share my journey from being a fairly wild ten year old who fought for gender equality in primary school, to becoming a Christian and obediently accepting female subordination as being God ordained, through to the gradual reexamination of the scriptures and my arrival at a more informed understanding of them.

I now believe in equality.

I believe men and women are equal in value and that roles should be given based on character and gifting and not on gender.

I am an Egalitarian.

Still prepared to read my journey? I hope so. I seek to encourage a willingness to reexamine scriptures, attitudes, and mindsets - not because I want to be seen as 'right' - but because I believe Christians have a responsibility to release the oppressed - and sadly, this is the experience of many women today.



You may also like:
Part Two of this series
Part Three of this series
Part Four of this series

Masks (an extra little bit!)

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 20:13:00 +0000

After this week's posting about masks I was reminded of a Youtube clip shown at church a while ago. It talks about the masks we put on and ... well ... why don't I just let you see for yourself?

The question left on my mind after watching this again, is not so much about what masks I put on, but whether my actions and attitudes encourage other people to discard their masks?

Do I cultivate a safe environment for them to do so?

Do I give people time to say how they really are?

Do I listen attentively and respond accordingly?

Am I modelling a mask free life wherever possible?

Am I quick to judge?

Do I try to understand?

Do I care enough to enter into the hidden lives of people knowing it may be messy, difficult, painful?

Am I willing to let go of my own thoughts and agendas and ask Jesus what he would want me to do?

Am I prepared to show the love of Christ in all circumstances?

Successful and long-lasting discarding of masks involves more than the mask wearer - it requires the time, love, support, encouragement, effort etc of those around them. Let's not expect action from others without being willing to give ourselves.

The one with the Mask

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:30:00 +0000

This week, just for a little while, I took off my mask (see previous post). I displayed a little more of my true self than I am comfortable with. It left me feeling as if I were walking around in an open field, undressed, with nowhere to hide or shade to seek refuge in. I felt vulnerable and exposed.

Was I right to take off the mask?

(Insert good Christian answer here ... 'yes, of course, God wants us to be open and honest at all times')

Over the last few months, a lot has been said at church about taking off our masks. It is obvious really isn't it? As Christians we are to live our lives with integrity. We are to be open and honest in all we say and do. We should therefore make every effort to peel off our masks, and live and love as our real selves. Anything short of this 'realness' would be deceptive and dishonest, and not congruent with our faith and relationship with Jesus.

If this is true, then we should immediately take off and discard our masks. Right?

I think there are a couple of questions that need to be asked before we go rushing about in a self-awareness frenzy, identifying and throwing away our masks.

Firstly, and most importantly, we should ask ourselves - 'Who is it we are hiding our true self from?'

If we are trying to hide from God, then we have a problem. You see, we will never be able to do this. We need only to read Psalm 139 to know this. God knows our innermost being. He knows our thoughts. He has examined our hearts and knows everything about us. We try to hide in vain. Our masks don't fool God. Take them off, and come before God as you really are and accept the love he has for you - the real you.

How about if we are wearing our masks before other people? Isn't this wrong too?

If our masks are concealing our true thoughts and feelings from other people, dare I suggest that it isn't always completely wrong to do so?

Does that shock you? I have thought quite a lot about this lately, and whilst I agree that we should live our lives with complete honesty as much as possible, I can't help but acknowledge that some masks are valuable.

There are some masks that are worn for self-protection. It would be crazy to suggest a fencer participate in a fight without wearing a mask. The mask is there to protect and enable a fair and safe fight. Without it a quick thrust of the opponent's epee, could cause great harm and end the fight prematurely.

There are times when we need to wear a protective mask to keep us safe whilst in battle. Perhaps a mask is needed to conceal our weakness and vulnerability from the enemy. Or maybe the mask is needed just long enough for us to prepare and build up our strength before we attack.

There are also masks that are worn for the protection of others. Surgeons wear masks whilst operating for a number of reasons, one of which is to protect the patient from infectious droplets carrying bacteria or viruses that become airborne through a cough or sneeze. Similarly, there are times when we may need to wear a mask to protect those around us. Sometimes a mask of strength may be worn to risk hurting others.

That said, these protective masks are worn for a period of time for a specific purpose. The fencer does not continue to wear the mask once the fight has finished. The surgeon does not leave the theatre and go home to sleep still wearing the mask. They are taken off when they are no longer necessary.

We too should take off our masks when they are no longer needed. The danger is that we get comfortable and continue to wear them. They begin to form our identity. Masks that are worn out of season stop protecting and start to form barriers. They hinder the real you from fully participating in all that God has in store for you and they keep others at a restrictive distance.

I took my mask off this week, it wasn't easy, but I knew it was time. It had been worn when it was needed, but it was beginning to restrict my own journey, and that I hope to walk with others.

What about you?

What masks are you currently wearing?

Who are you wearing them in front of?

Are you hiding your true self unnecessarily?

Is it time to begin to take them off?

I am thankful that God knows and loves the real me - of course he does - he created me! I am also thankful that he will help us to take our masks off at the right time. He wont force it, but will gently encourage and support us as we do. Phew!

Out of Sorts

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 17:15:00 +0000

Image courtesy of Heart and Soul

Today, I post out of sorts; it doesn't follow suit. Its irregularity protrudes when laid aside the norm.

Its difference scares, but is comforted by the recollection of where it began ... nearly a year ago.

In November last year, after a very difficult month, I began to blog. The full reason for the venture into blogging can be read in The one at the Beginning, but the significance of today's post - I have copied and pasted below...

'Thirdly ... writing somehow allows me to express myself in a way that makes sense - to me at least! As someone who finds expression difficult in spoken word - I seem to be able to put my true thoughts and feelings down through pen and paper (keyboard and screen!). Which - I guess - is ultimately the whole point of attempting this blog. I hope writing this will allow me to explore and express! That is for me.'

So, today, I need to 'explore and express'. Life is tough. It has been battle after battle. I feel like I am losing, and yet, I can't let go. Sometimes I want to, it would be easier that way. But it isn't right - I must find the strength and determination and keep going. I know God has called me to hack away at the overgrown grassland and clear a path for myself (and others) to walk, but the grass cuts the skin, and the work is difficult. Can I take a rest? Just a little breather? Will the grass grow back that quickly if I do?

In all this confusion I am thankful that GOD IS.

That GOD IS my Strength.

That GOD IS my Guide.

That GOD IS my Comfort.

That GOD IS my Peace.

That GOD IS my Refuge.

And that GOD IS Sovereign and Lord over ALL!

Remembering that GOD IS will keep me going. Knowing that GOD IS encourages joy amidst the trials.

It is tough, yes, but it never promised to be easy. BUT ...

GOD IS who I am living for and deep down I am thankful for the privilege and opportunity to do so.

I'm tired but I will push on, run the race, and leave a trail.

The one with the Teabag

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:03:00 +0000

I am very blessed. Yes, I know it. You see, most mornings one of my sons will bring a cup of tea up to me in bed. Some mornings I might even get two! Life is good.

The other morning however, it was not so good. My alarm had gone off, and been put on snooze, and there I lay, drifting in and out of sleep, waiting to hear the familiar 'chink' as a cup is placed on my bedside table. It seemed a long time coming this particular morning, but it did arrive. I slowly sat up, picked up the new Starbucks mug that had appeared, and with a content sigh, I took the first sip. MMmmmmm ......

BUT - the MMmmmm soon turned into Ewwwwwww. Something was wrong.

It was still hot. It looked the right colour. It was in the right mug (yes, that does make a difference!) - So - what was the problem?

It just didn't hit the spot! Something was different. Somehow, something seemed missing. And then it dawned on me ....

Caffeine! Or rather, the lack of it!

Somehow, the teabags must have been mixed up in the cupboard and the teabag my son had used was void of caffeine.

Not so good first thing in the morning! Thankfully, I still had time to have a 'proper' tea before leaving the house.

Later on that morning, I met with a friend (yes, you guessed it, for tea!), and I shared my early morning experience with her. After laughing at how I can make such a big thing out of tea, she explained that she wouldn't have known the difference. This got me thinking ...

How did I know with such assurance? After all, it was early in the morning and I was still very sleepy and decaf tea doesn't really taste that different to regular tea.

But ... I knew.

I knew because I drink a lot of tea! I know how it should taste. Even with the diversity of brands and strengths I drink, I know when an imposter, with its clever disguise, tries to sneak in. Decaf teabag - you will not fool me! I know my tea.

I wonder, do I know my God that well? Do I always hear him when he speaks? Hmmmm ...

I know how tea should taste because I drink a lot of it - it is a big part of my life. Can I say I spend enough time with God that I know his voice? Easily? Always? Sadly, I know the answer to this isn't a resounding yes. I wish it were. I really do.

In John 10, Jesus explains that sheep follow their shepherd because they know him. They have spent enough time in the pen listening to his voice, that when he says follow, they do.

“Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.”

Do we know our Shepherd that well? Do we follow when he speaks?

If we are not able to easily recognise the voice of Jesus, it isn't because he isn't speaking. He loves to tell us we are loved, to give joy and peace, to guide us, to reveal his splendour and majesty to us. He does speak. We just don't recognise it.

I spotted the decaf imposter that morning because I knew the real thing. I would like to say that I know Jesus that well too. I am getting there slowly. I need to read his Word, and talk with him more. I need to stop running around bleating like crazy, and spend more time in the pen listening.

What about you? Do you need to get in the pen with me? :)

The one with the Sat-Nav

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:04:00 +0000

I finished my Tall Vanilla Latte (skinny, sugar free and extra hot) and made my way to the car. Today I would be catching up with a friend I hadn't seen in a couple of years. I was looking forward to it. It had been too long! All the details had been arranged via Twitter, and the postcode of her new address had been put into the Sat-Nav in advance. Music - check. Glasses - check. Engine running - check. Sat-Nav on - check. Ready! I was on my way!

However, as I left the carpark, and entered the roundabout, it became obvious that the journey would be a little more challenging than I had anticipated. I looked at the Sat-Nav to see where I should be exiting, only to see a blank screen! Panic! As I drove around the roundabout for a second time, the screen came back on - but with no directions. Not much help! What was a girl to do? No option but to drive round again and hope that the satellites were found and the directions given! This I did, but to no avail. Three times around a the roundabout, and the Sat-Nav had still not told me which exit to take. Getting dizzy!

I had to make a quick decision: drive around again and again in hope that it would work, or, try and make it on my own. Whilst the first option sounded tempting (and fun!) I was already on a pretty tight schedule if I was to arrive when expected. So ...

I did what I should have done right at the beginning of the journey - engage my brain! I knew this roundabout well, and surely should be able to work out which exit to take. The problem was, I wasn't entirely sure of the direction of the destination. I began to eliminate the exits I knew wouldn't take me to my destination. This helped.

And then, well, I just went for it. I exited the roundabout and headed for the motorway. I figured I could always stop at the services and have a look at google maps if I still had no idea where to go. Or, I could even swallow my pride and give my friend a call, admit I was lost without my Sat-Nav and ask her for directions. It wouldn't be the end of the world.

Guess what? Just as I entered the motorway, the Sat-Nav kicked in! Yes, it had finally found the required satellites, and had the directions at the ready. Phew!

I was pleased that I could now relax a little and let the Sat-Nav guide me, although I did give myself a little pack on the back for being prepared to try it on my own. I had somewhere to get to, and I hadn't let unreliable technology stop me.

As I continued my journey, I reflected on this experience, and wondered how often we do something similar in our relationship with God. Let's take worship as a destination for example. We key in a heavenly destination on our internal Sat-Nav, and get ready to set off. We head to the roundabout, and as we do, we focus our heart and mind on the things of God: how awesome he is and worthy of our worship. And then, as we enter the roundabout - nothing. No emotional satellites are found. We are not 'feeling' the warm and fuzzies we expect as we worship. So, we go round again. And again. And again. Nothing. And yet, our destination hasn't changed. God is still there and worthy of all our praise and worship. So, what do we do? Do we continue going round, in the hope that we will suddenly 'feel' right? Or do we focus on the destination, trust in the Truth, exit and go for it?

We cannot rely purely on our feelings. Just like technology, they can fail us. They can be unreliable. They can let us down.

We can, however, rely on the Truth. Always.

Are you currently going round the roundabout, waiting for your internal Sat-Nav to work? Are you focusing on the screen, instead of your destination?

Can I encourage you to take your eyes off of the screen and fix them firmly on where you need to go. Trust in the Truth and pull off the roundabout. You may find that unless you do, you will be going round that roundabout forever!

What if we take the wrong exit? Well, is this really such a problem? Isn't it better to set off, discover a wrong turning, and put it right, than to keep going round and round and never getting anywhere at all?

I once heard a great analogy that I have often considered in these situations -

It is much easier to change the direction of a car once it is moving, than to try to position it perfectly whilst it is stationary. I would rather set off and allow God to alter the direction, than to try to lift the car into place myself!

How about you?

Sometimes when we do put our trust in the Truth, rather than our feelings, we find that somewhere, further along the road they kick in - just like the Sat-Nav on my journey.

I had a great afternoon catching up with my friend. Would I have ever got there if I had waited for the sat-nav to work on that roundabout? I doubt it. What a shame that would have been.

Don't put all your trust in your 'feeling' sat-nav, you never know what it is you will miss out on! Instead -

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5,6)

Focus on the destination, and make it happen!

The one with the Duck Song

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 09:37:00 +0000

WARNING: Interacting with this post will get into your head and stay there - for a very long time!
Waddle Waddle!!

Last year one of my boys introduced me to Bryant Oden's genius Duck Song. I say genius because for a short and simple song (with video) first uploaded in 2009 - it has already had a whopping 59,924,170 hits!! That is some achievement.

What is the appeal? Well, watch the link below and you will see for yourself .....

Cute and catchy eh? Now, I challenge you to watch it again without singing along - it just can't be done!!

So - that is it, there is no going back! The Duck Song is well and truly inside your head - and for that I do apologise a little. However, my hope is, that in sharing this song with you, it will find its way not only into your head, but also you thoughts, your mind and your heart. You see, I believe this simple (if not annoying!) song has a lot to teach us. Really? I invite you to read on ...

The story begins with the duck walking up to a lemonade stand and asking ... got any grapes?

However, to his dismay, he soon discovers there are no grapes on offer .... and he waddles away ... till the very next day ...

Our duck friend doesn't seem to learn from this, as the following day, he walks back up to lemonade stand, and again asks ... got any grapes?

Once again, the duck is to learn that the lemonade stand has no grapes to offer, and he waddles away ... till the very next day ...

Despite being very bright in colour, it would seem that Mr Duck lacks a certain amount of intelligence, and visits the same lemonade stand a total of five times, each time asking for grapes. Why would he do this?

My guess is that such was his desire for grapes that he would do whatever was needed in order to get some. He had his heart and mind fixed on grapes and nothing else seemed to matter, including continued knock-backs.

Silly duck. We wouldn't have been so daft right?

Well I don't think we would have gone to a lemonade stand for grapes in the first place. However, dare I suggest we can be guilty of doing something similar? Probably not with grapes, but with something else that we strive for in life. Things that we believe we cannot live without. Things that we are convinced will make us happy.

Perhaps our 'grapes' could be a career, a relationship, family, our looks, money, labels, fast cars, gadgets ... the list is endless.

There is nothing wrong with any of these, just like there is nothing wrong with grapes, but as with most things it is all about moderation and priorities. If all we ever bought and ate were grapes we would soon find ourselves feeling rather ill. We need a balanced diet. We need a balanced lifestyle.

Is there a particular 'grape' that is consuming you at the moment? Is it all you think about and strive for in order to reach that place you believe will bring you happiness? Perhaps you have been neglecting other areas in your life in order to achieve this? Is this 'grape' really going to satisfy you and make you happy - forever?

The fifth time the duck approaches the lemonade stand - he is successful. The Lemonade Man decides he has had enough of the duck pestering him and takes him to a local supermarket and buys him his long awaited and much sought after grapes!

A moment of happiness? Of sheer joy? Of absolute satisfaction?

Nope!!

Straight away the duck realises the grapes weren't as good as he thought they would be. They didn't bring him the satisfaction and happiness he was expecting.

It can be the same with us and our 'grapes'. When we finally get there, achieve our grapes, reach our target, we often find that it is not as we had anticipated. The joy, peace, love, excitement, satisfaction etc that we thought our 'grape' would bring doesn't. Or perhaps it does for a while, but then ...

Circumstances change
Relationships are broken
Jobs are lost
Money runs out
Gadgets become dated ...

Most things in life fade or come to an end sooner or later. We cannot guarantee anything will last forever. Almost anything ...

The duck, having turned down the rest of the grapes, has a bit of an 'aha' moment, and realises that what he really needed had actually been on offer the whole time - the Lemonade.

On the hot and sunny days, the lemonade would cool him down and refresh him. It was what he needed. He had just been so set on the grapes he hadn't realised.

We can find ourselves in the same situation. When focused intently on our 'grapes' we may overlook the one thing in life that will bring us absolute satisfaction, the one thing that will give us a full life, the one thing that will not fade or fail.

A relationship with Jesus.

The love that Jesus offers is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres. It NEVER Fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

The man at the lemonade stand must have known the refreshment that the lemonade would bring, but he never forced it on the duck. Each time he offered it, and suggested the duck try it, but he didn't pour a glass and ram it down his beak. The duck had to try it for himself. It had to be his choice.

Jesus does the same with us. He knows what we really need, but wont force it on us. He waits as we go after various 'grapes' in search of happiness and fulfillment. He waits when we ignore his promises and put our trust in other things. He may nudge us, and speak to us along the way, but he will never force us to listen and turn to him. He waits.

The Bible says that Jesus stands at the door and knocks (Revelation 3:20), but he will never open the door for himself. He waits for us to open it and let him in.

Opening the door to Jesus is the only way we will find total satisfaction in our lives.

It will bring a peace that nothing else in life can. It will fill that hole, that longing, that need that you have been searching for. It will bring life to the full.

You may have already opened the door, and know what a relationship with Jesus brings - but I challenge you to consider whether there are any 'grapes' that are beginning to sneak back in and take priority in your life. Who or what is the first thing you turn to when things get a bit tough - is it still Jesus? Are you focusing on the 'grapes' instead of the true vine?

Or perhaps you have never really stopped to think about what a relationship with Jesus will bring you. Maybe you have been too busy searching for something else? Maybe you are at a place where you think there must be something more in life? There is ...

Jesus stands at the door and knocks - he has been waiting for you to invite him in - so that he can bring you the hope and fulfillment you have been searching for and a love that never fails.

Are you prepared to see your 'grapes' as they really are - as something that may look and taste good for while - but will eventually begin to rot?

Are you prepared to put them down and listen to the one who really knows what it is you need?

The duck realised the grapes weren't enough, acknowledged it, and returned to the lemonade.

Will you do the same today? Will you turn back to Jesus? He waits ...

[The above post was originally written for a Sunday Lite outreach talk at Wessex. I have the full notes and an additional video clip link if anyone would like a copy]

The one where I dish the dirt

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:38:00 +0000

Whilst I wouldn't say I was obsessed with cleaning, I do like to think that I keep my house in a reasonably clean and tidy state. I hope that if you popped over for an unplanned (but always very welcome) cuppa with me that you would find the house looking tidy but lived in. There may well be dishes in the sink that need washing, Playstation leads across the lounge floor, and paperwork piled on the table ready to be filed - but all in all - it is generally tidy and comfortable to be in. That is my understanding anyway.

Which is why, last week, when I had the afternoon free to do some housework, I had a little bit of a shock! Perhaps my idea of a clean and tidy house really needs to be revisited and revised! Had I been deluding myself?

The next few paragraphs I do not share with ease, as it may well reveal a little bit too much for comfort. Hopefully it wont have a negative impact on the frequency of friends' visits to the house. I am not so sure though ... as I know how shocked I was myself! Am I really ready to dish the dirt?!

Having dusted and polished the entire house, I turned my attention to the carpets; it was time to vacuum. I carried the vacuum cleaner upstairs, turned it on, and set to it. In no time at all, upstairs was finished. However, it was a while before I made my way down the stairs. I couldn't believe it. I stared at the vacuum cleaner, which sat proudly upright in my son's bedroom. It was as if it smuggly said: 'Look how dirty your house is!' and believe me - it was!! Gross!

Warning: For those of you who have a 'thing' with dirt - I suggest you quickly abort this post - and find a 'cleaner' one to read ...

Yes. That is my dirt. Looking at the sheer volume of the 'stuff' encased inside the cylinder, you may well conclude one of two things: Firstly, that the dirt had been collected in the vacuum cleaner over several weeks; or secondly, that I lived in a mansion. You would be wrong on both counts: the vacuum cleaner had been emptied the last time it had been used - and I live in a average sized four bedroom house. All that dirt had been sucked up from the carpets of four bedrooms and a small landing, during just one vacuuming session. That is some dirt huh?!

I stood, quizzically staring at the cylinder. It hadn't been that long since I last vacuumed the carpets, and I hadn't noticed them looking particularly dirty. Where had all that dirt come from?

I guess the answer to that question is really rather simple. It gradually builds up as the carpets are walked on, and the dust settles. Unnoticed, dirt collects over time.

Isn't this just like our lives?

We may look and feel clean, just like the carpets, but in reality dirt slowly settles and becomes embedded in our lives. The little things we do wrong start to build up; we have a wrong thought, speak harshly, perhaps have a bad attitude towards someone, and slowly they begin to stick. Our experiences, circumstances and choices gradually steer us away from the path we are called to live, and over time we find ourselves grubby and in need of a good clean and fresh start.

When a new carpet is laid, it doesn't stay perfectly clean for long. Even if the carpet remains unused, dust particles start to settle, and the carpet will slowly become grubby. Similarly, we are all dirty - even if we can't see it or feel it. For we have all messed up (sinned) and fallen short of God's plan for us (Romans 3:23). All of us; you, me and our next door neighbours. Then, even when we are 'cleaned' - we soon become dirty again. It is just the way it is.

But God doesn't look at us, turn his nose up at our dirt, and walk away. He longs to clean us. He is the only one that has the power to do so. We may try to find an alternative, buy a rug to cover the dirt, or put air fresheners in the room to disguise the smell - but nothing really works. No one else can lift our dirt. God sent his Son, Jesus, to offer us a thorough and complete clean.

But he wont force it on us. We must to want to be cleaned and have our dirt taken away. We have to accept we have done things that have made us dirty, and ask Jesus to forgive us.

1 John 1vs 9 speaks of this: 'If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins, and purify us from all unrighteousness.'

I am thankful that God doesn't give up on me because of my dirt. I am also thankful that he doesn't despair when, once clean, the dirt starts to build up - but instead he waits patiently for me to notice and ask for his forgiveness. He can then 'vacuum' the dirt and empty the cylinder, providing me with a fresh start. Time and time and time again.

Let's not get into the habit of ignoring or hiding our dirt, but acknowledge it before God, and allow his perfect love and forgiveness to clean us and make us like new.

Ready for a clean?

The one with the handprints

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 09:50:00 +0000

Yesterday at Twinkling Stars Toddler Group we made handprints. I say 'we' deliberately, as I also decided to put my hands in the paint! 'Such fun!'


My Handprints - to remind me how quickly I am growing up!! :)

The handprints joined a poem about growing up and were named and dated before going through the laminator. The children enjoyed getting their hands messy, and the parents were pleased to have a record to keep of their little one's hands. A perfect mornings work!

So, why did I choose to join in the fun? Because I am all too aware at the moment of how quickly time goes by and how much we can lose if we do not make the most of the opportunities we are presented with. Carpe Diem and all that!

The circumstances that led to this reflection? A pair of shoes!

Most of you will know that when I say 'shoes' - I am not referring to the 'shiny heeled lady variety', but pumps. Yes, I will admit to having a slight obsession with Converse. For the last 3 months I have been searching for a pair of green Converse to add to my collection. With all the different Converse colours around this may sound a simple mission. It was not! Having searched far and wide it appears this particular shade of green (it had to be just right!) is not being made by Converse in this country at the moment. Even the online Converse shop let me down! Sadly, I had to abort the mission.

That is, until I spotted a pair of green Converse style pumps in Superdry a few weeks ago. They were the perfect colour! Despite the obvious fact they weren't real Converse, I decided to give them a chance. They fit well, were on par with Converse price, and looked great. Fantastic.

I am now a proud owner of green pumps - the perfect colour to wear with several of my favourite tops. End of story? Not quite ...

These pumps are actually amazingly comfortable. I would even go so far as to say they are a bitter fit and feel than Converse - and I don't say that lightly! They also come in a few different colours - one of which is a particularly nice shade of blue. I kept walking past the blue pumps admiring them, but could not justify buying myself another pair. But I had a plan! They would make a perfect Wedding Anniversary present :)

Content with this plan, I admired them from a distance. It wouldn't be long until they were mine.

And then ... the blow came. When we eventually went to buy them, they didn't have my size. They weren't getting any more in. The other stores nearby didn't have them. The online shop didn't have them. In fact - nowhere in the country had the right size and colour in stock. And what is more, they wouldn't be getting any more in! The summer stock had been sold off to make way for winter. That was it. I had left it too long and now the opportunity had gone. Gutted.

Whilst this experience only involves a pair of pumps, it does remind us how opportunities can be missed if we do not take them when they arise. How many chances to try new things, to develop, to encourage, to learn, to love etc, have been missed due to waiting for tomorrow?

What is it you have in your life right now that, for whatever reason, you keep putting off?

Can I encourage you to consider why you are waiting? Are the reasons valid? Will waiting really help or hinder?

I missed out on a pair of blue pumps this time, but what will it be next time? I want to be all I can be. I want to continue to develop my character. I want to experience new things.

I leave you with a little something that may help you to seize the day - A 'Round Tuit'

This is a round tuit. Guard it with your life!

Tuits are hard to come by, especially the round ones.

It will help you become a much more efficient worker.

For years you've heard people say "I'll do that when I get a round tuit."

So now that you have one, you can accomplish all those things you put aside until you got a Round Tuit.

The one with the proud mum

noreply@blogger.com (Jo Royal) — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 10:04:00 +0000

Usually my ten year old son greets me in the playground after school with a smile - but last Thursday was a different story all together. Looking down at his feet, he slowly made his way over to where I stood. After offering only a very quiet 'hi', he waited beside me for my nieces to come out of their classrooms. I suspected the worst. There I stood, pretending to search intently for the girls, when really I mentally prepared my 'it's ok, you tried your best, that is all that counts' speech. You see, today had been a big day for him. Having been elected onto the school council the week before, this was the day he would stand in front of the whole school and give a speech explaining why he should be elected as Chair. His face and manner suggested the day hadn't gone all that well.

We stood in the playground for what seemed like eternity, when I took the plunge and asked how his day had gone. 'How has your day been?' I casually asked, trying not to visibly cringe as I waited for his disheartened response. Still looking down, he answered, 'Not so good' - and just as I was about to launch into my speech, he added - 'I only got voted in as Chair!' The toad!!

Looking pleased with himself after the elections :)

Pride began to rise up within me, quickly doing away with all the feelings of dread that had occupied my mind only seconds ago. My boy had done it.

As I walked back to the car listening to his account of the day, it dawned on me that I would have been just as proud of him had his response to my question been different. You see, his attitude towards the elections had, in my opinion, been exemplary. This is why ...

Past Experience

My son did not let his past experience dictate his actions this year.

Last year the votes went a different way and his attempt had not been a success. In fact, he didn't even make it through the first round and onto the council at all. He had tried, and failed. Actually, this is probably just how I had saw it. I think he would just say he tried. No failure. Isn't this a far better way of viewing it? How I wish I could see things this way! Unfortunately, I know that a negative outcome would swamp any enjoyment I may have had in the experience. I really need to learn that the joy is in the journey not the destination. Fear of failure still has too tight a grip on me.

Despite last year's outcome, he tried again this time. Simple lesson to learn here! Simple it might be but in my experience it is not so easy to put into practice. I refer you back to an earlier post in which I reflect on the wisdom of Chumbawamba (Tubthumping 1997) .. 'I get knocked down ... but I get up again!'

Independence

My son did it on his own!

After deciding to stand for election again this year, my son shut himself away in his room and wrote his speech. When he had completed his speech, he turned on his xbox and that was it. He didn't want my help. Gosh - this was difficult for me! I wanted to discuss it with him and offer advice. Wouldn't any Mum? Unable to just leave it, I went in and asked him how his speech writing had gone. Without taking his eyes off the screen he offered a very quick 'fine' and that was that! I picked up the bit of paper he had written on and started to read. I am ashamed to say that instead of just reading it, I began to tell him where I thought it could be improved. In my mind I was helping - in his mind though - I was interfering and being critical. His expression said it all. I felt awful. My reaction probably explains why, when he wrote his speech and prepared his Powerpoint for the Chair and Vice-Chair elections, he did it all at school and 'couldn't remember' what he had put when I asked him that evening! I don't blame him!

So, his achievement really was his own. Had he allowed me to interfere it wouldn't have been. I am pleased that he has confidence in his own ability. Good for him. Perhaps there is another lesson here for some of us. Maybe we need to believe we can do it; step out and trust in the abilities we have instead of leaning on others so much? Just a thought.

Of course, some of us need to learn to let go and let others a bit more too!

Humility

Throughout the campaign my son seemed to have only one concern: the others!
I don't think that this came out of an over inflated ego, but out of a genuine concern. He worried that any votes he may get would take something away from them. He always spoke favourably of the other pupils standing in the elections, and that morning he had asked to go into school early to help one of them finish off their powerpoint.

I honestly believe he would have been just as happy with a different result, and would have absolute support and respect for whoever may have gained more votes than him.

It would have been easy for him to see the others as 'opponents' -instead of other pupils worthy of the role. But he didn't: it wasn't about him. I love that.

Can I say I always respond to situations in the same way? Er ... that would be a no! Sometimes I do fall into the trap of making it about 'me'. I think, if we are being honest, we all do this at times. Don't we?

Of course, false humility is just as bad as a self-inflated ego. We need to find the balance. Perhaps the Biblical command to 'love one another as yourself' (Mark 12:31) helps us here. We need to love ourselves, to believe we can do it - but we also need to behave appropriately and in a manner that shows nothing but love, concern and respect for others.

I believe that my son exemplified this mandate - and I pray that I learn from him and put it into practice more in my own life.