Pluggers, 10/6/26

One of the interesting things about one-panel comics is that they often have to condense a series of actions into a single image-caption pair. So, for instance, in today’s Pluggers, we simultaneously see the moment at which this plugger gets the bright idea that he could perform dental surgery on himself and the horrible aftermath, where his mouth has somehow been moved unnaturally and definitely painfully almost all the way to his ear.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/6/26

As ever, I have questions on the legal, ethical, and moral position of Grimm on the spectrum between “sapient being with rights recognized by the state” and “pet,” but I think the strip treats him as a pet more often than not. With that in mind, I think the doctor would be well within his rights to refuse to admit him into the exam room, if only to stop him from making terrible puns.

Dennis the Menace, 10/5/26

Part of being a sophisticated textual critic such as myself is that you have to be able to distinguish between “something I dislike” and “something that is executed poorly.” So, for instance, you know that on principle I dislike the “Dennis insults his mother’s cooking” Dennis the Menace panels. But if you’re going to do it, having Dennis stare ahead, dead-eyed and drooling, and saying “This tastes like shit, mom, it tastes like food that’s just been lying around until it goes bad” is a pretty good execution.

Dick Tracy, 10/5/26

Big news, everyone! A new Dick Tracy storyline is starting today, and the very first strip is a guy falling down the stairs and dying! Or at least I assume? He actually looks pretty much the same in the air as he does on the ground, so maybe he’s fine and just shaped like that.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/5/26

For too long, the Baby Boomers and retro-hipster Gen Xers of Glenwood have only been able to express their toxic nostalgia through dedication to roots country music. But soon they’ll also be able to enjoy older films that have been largely forgotten by the mainstream cineaste community for presumably good reason, thanks to Mae Mae’s carefully invested movie earnings and/or Glenwood’s rock-bottom real estate prices!

Crankshaft, 10/5/26

“As a matter of fact, some prescription medications, especially generics, are manufactured in China. It’s somewhat more common, however, for the chemical raw materials to be produced in China while the drug formulation happens in India. Just another facet of our globalized era, where different countries with different prevailing labor costs and specific know-how end up specializing in different segments of the supply chain. I know that’s not a ‘punchline’ per se but I thought you might find it interesting!”

Marvin, 10/4/26

Hey, remember the World Cup, from, like, a few months ago? And remember that caveman-lookin’ guy from Norway, Erling Haaland? Well, what if there were a baby that looked like him. And he was on a soccer team for babies. (Just assume for this scenario that soccer teams for babies exist, don’t worry about it.) And the other babies were all scared of him, because they’re babies, their memory doesn’t go back very far but the World Cup does feature pretty prominently in it. But! Here’s the twist! He’s not a good soccer player at all, he just happens to look like one very specific and memorable-looking good soccer player! Say what you will about this strip, but I have to admit, never at any point in it did I know where it was going next, which I think may also be true for whoever wrote it.

Heathcliff, 10/4/26

You could express your bemusement at the increasing popularity of pumpkin spice treats by creating a vaguely hostile and violent dream sequence. Or you could just say to yourself, “What will they think of next? Pumpkin spice gum? Ha ha, I bet a bubble you’d blow with that would look like a jack o’ lantern!” I know which option I prefer.

Blondie, 10/3/26

I know you can’t expect dreams to make actual narrative sense, but I think it’s OK to expect dreams that someone wrote and put into a linear storytelling form like a comic strip to make at least a certain degree of narrative sense. Like, in the first panel, I assumed this was going to be a classic boomer gripe about the kids today and their pumpkin spice lattes, which our heroic police are going to put an end to once and for all. But this cop handing Blondie a giant bag of pumpkin spice profits in the second panel certainly complicates things! I also find it upsetting that the anthropomorphic muffin vanishes between these two moments. Presumably the officer took it out back, murdered it with his prominently displayed gun, and then extracted its valuable spice content to reward Blondie for snitching.

Beetle Bailey, 10/3/26

Here’s a sentence I’ve never written or even thought before: I find the facial expressions in the second panel of today’s Beetle Bailey genuinely haunting. They aren’t looking on in lurid pleasure at the sex and violence on screen as you might expect: they look somber and deeply emotionally affected by what they’re watching. Yet the warning still drew them to the TV, like moths to a flame.

The gorgeous fall weather is arriving (your geoclimatic mileage may vary), so let’s enjoy it, and this comment of the week:

“Wow, good for Mother Goose — I’m so glad she’s finally living her truth! Now if only we could learn the truth about her alleged motherhood, or whatever nightmare creature she actually is because last time I checked geese don’t have enormous angular brow crests or shark fins(?) coming out of their heads? At least now we know her posterior head triangle is actually hair, which geese also don’t have.” –Manjack

Your runners up are also autumnally fantastic!

“Are the Crankshaft characters insulting their creator’s own art? This is a direction I could really enjoy.” –Nevin, on Patreon

“The funniest bit of this to me is that fact that Leroy and Loretta seem to be completely alone in there. It’s hard to imagine what kind of behaviour would clear out a bowling alley, but if anyone could do it, these two could.” –pugfuggly

“Sorry, not only do I not want to think of my carpet as being sentient, the thought of it having vision is absolutely terrifying. Full disclosure: I am nude sometimes. I have not found a way yet to change my underwear without getting into that state. Do I need to start rolling out a floor-sized blindfold to hide my shame from the Berber voyeur in my bedroom?” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Some people say baseball is a slow, boring game, but give credit where it’s due, it’s a drug-free means of curing Hi’s insomnia in the throwaway panel.” –Philip

“What I love most about this is that a) that text box gives us way too much information and b) that information doesn’t even seem to be correct? I mean, is she putting mail on his desk, or pulling a (hopefully pre-opened) credit card bill from the middle of the [squints] notebook corral? Also, side note, but Toby — I know the print isn’t the biggest on those things, but that paper is two and a half centimeters from your face, so maaaaaaybe it’s time to visit an optometrist. Better or worse, Toby? Better or worse?!” –els

“Yesterday’s strip was the first time I noticed how low on his face Hi’s eyes are. Now when I look at him, it’s all I can see! That man’s visage is at least 40% forehead!” –Victor Von

“Now that a critical mass of newspaper comic strips have touched upon AI, it’s probably a good time to wager on the ol’ economic bubble popping in a matter of days.” –InvasionOfTheZIM

“That’s not football, Alexander. That’s someone’s innovative variant on the clingfilm fetish. You’ll be famous!” –matt w

“Crazy to think we got a ‘Toby thinks Ian is cheating because she heard a rumor’ plot before an ‘Ian thinks Toby is cheating because she is married to Ian and who could blame her’ plot.” –Dan

“I’d like to think that panels 1 and 2 are unrelated, and Toby is just horrified because she remembered that Mary exists.” –Mr. A

“We were taking in the fall colours — literally taking them in! We’ve absorbed them all, draining them between Sunday and now, and only we can enjoy them! Bwa ha haa! Have fun in the dull boring green world while we’re looking inwards at gold and ruby-tinged nature!” –CanuckDownSouth

“He’s also got two different copies of The Watchtower to give us, Mommy, if you’ve just got a moment to listen to him!” –A Grave Mind

“Thel looks exactly the way you’d expect from a housewife from the early 1960s hearing about divorce for the first time. ‘You mean I can just … end my marriage, and everyone will be okay with that? Why didn’t I hear about this sooner?’” –TheDiva

“‘What brings you to the PARK!?’ ‘We were just enjoying the GRATUITOUS BOLDING!!!’” –Peanut Gallery

“In comics, characters rarely age or change. Gertie will remain in stasis, even as the memory of Dale Earnhardt recedes further and further into the past. There will come a time when the comic strip (produced by Mike Smith’s grandchildren or the AI content creators of GG Humor Amalgamated Inc.) depicts Gertie worshiping a race car driver who died before she was born. At that time, it will appear that she is longing for the days when NASCAR competitors were human beings rather than self-driving machines.” –Danny

“Wedding crashers Gerads and Darby have been the talk of the town. People have so many questions. Which one is which? Are they gay? Who does that blond guy think he’s fooling with that long hair when we can see that he’s balding on top, where it counts? What kind of pathetic loser crashes a wedding to intimidate a high school football coach? Yes, they’ve got people talking, all right!” –Joe Blevins

“Kudos to Brigman for having the evil parrot, El papagayo siniestra, depart from Toby’s left shoulder. It’s this level of attention to detail that pushes the suspension of disbelief.” –Hibbleton

“The Phantom’s first panel is funnier if you picture Mollusk sitting in a giant car seat.” –lynn

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