THE Falcon from Matthew Valverde on Vimeo.

No Joy from Mike Petty on Vimeo.

Dave Arnold’s Burger Of The Future from Eater NY on Vimeo.

The internet is cool, and the world continues to get smaller.  My  mom (the one who 15 years ago kept insisting that she didn’t NEED a computer!) has been Facebooking, and recently joined a group comprised of students with whom she and my dad worked at Anderson Highland High School back in the 70′s.  Of course these “students” are all now pushing 50, but then again… I’m not exactly four years old anymore either.

Back in the day, under the direction of my father, all these folks got together to make a RECORD!  You know, the vinyl kind.  What resulted is nothing less than the single-most influential recording in the world… of 1970′s High School Choral music coming out of Anderson, Indiana.  Sadly, rather than archiving precious copies of this collector’s item, it appears the kids took to using them as frisbees and the like.  Stupid kids.  I bet they sold all their Star Wars action figures too — wait a minute, that was me…

At any rate, several years back I transferred this fine LP to CD for one of those Christmases when I was too broke to actually BUY a present for my father.  He cringed, then laughed, then listened to it again for the first time in years and I think kinda loved it.  Since then it’s gotten heavy rotation in my own personal music library, and even managed to crack the playlists of some of my friends.  This sonic time capsule is making a comeback in a big way, and a track or three may even be coming soon to a theater near you, so keep your ears open!

In the meantime, take a listen.  And if you’re so inclined, feel free to download the entire record by clicking on the album cover above.  Cringe.  Laugh.  Enjoy.  Whatever you do, just… Don’t Take Away the Music.

It all kinda hit home when a few less-than-glowing reviews came down the pipeline after my gal’s show, 9 to 5, opened on Broadway last month. First of all, I’ve seen this show several times — it’s not gonna change anyone’s life, but it’s a heckuva lot of fun, and some of the tunes are downright memorable. Secondly, it got GREAT reviews during its previews here in L.A. And lastly, it garnered like… FIFTEEN Drama Desk nominations just a week before it officially opened on Broadway. Then Ben Brantley comes out on opening night, uncharacteristically stays ’til the very end of Dolly’s post-performance speech, yet turns around and hands in a scathing review the next day; likely driving more than a few potential patrons away from this really fun show. This in turn clearly sways the votes of the Tony Awards nominating crew, as the very same show that broke a Broadway record for Drama Desk nominations just two weeks prior gets a measly 5 Tony noms — and shut out of Best Musical by a show I know VERY well: the aim-so-low you can’t lose, Rock of Ages, over which the typically stiff Brantley practically creamed himself. (Pun not initially intended, but I’ll take it.)

Now please don’t misunderstand me. I adore Rock of Ages, and would encourage everyone to go see it. I know from personal experience the very long road it traveled to even GET to Broadway, and l’m legitimately thrilled that there’s room (and apparently more than just tolerance) for this kind of entertainment on the Great White Way. But I also know how much time, love and energy the folks over at 9 to 5 put into their show, and being so intimately familiar with BOTH projects it’s impossible for me to believe that anyone actually thinks that musically OR dramatically ROA is a better piece of theater. It’s a whole heckuva lot of FUN, but it’s not even in the same league as Dolly’s tuner. Which leads me to only one conclusion, and that’s that the critics have WAAAAYYYYY too much power. People trust a relatively small and exclusive group of writers (with exactly WHAT qualifications other than that they can write?) to tell us what we should and should not see. And that’s just stupid. We all have different tastes, and what stinks to some high-fallutin’ writer at the Times might be just what the doctor ordered for the tourist from Peoria. Which brings me to my initial point…

In addition to the fact that I don’t have lots of excess time to be tearing apart or even swooning over someone else’s attempt at creating something unique (or even those half-hearted attempts to make a lousy buck with rushed sequels and lowest-common-denominator comedies), I’m starting to realize that my opinion is nothing more than, well… just an opinion. And if even one person decides to avoid some movie that I personally dislike because I wrote some nasty review, then I think I might be doing a disservice to that person AND to the folks that made the offending movie. Heck… I kinda hated The English Patient and that borefest won the Best Picture Oscar, so what do I know? What’s more, most of the people on whom I’m ragging are folks that I wouldn’t mind working with, so what am I even THINKING picking apart their efforts like I could actually do better (…of course I COULD do better, but that’s a whole ‘nuther can of self-inflated worms…)

I guess what I’m trying to say is that for the few folks that actually read my movie reviews (mom, dad…) I’m thinkin’ it might be time to put the proverbial pen down. Oh, I might continue to throw some stars at the films I see — if for nothing less than to provide a reminder to myself of what I’ve seen and when I saw it — but unless I’m just DYING to comment on something specific in my movie-watching experience, I think I’ll leave the reviews to the folks who are doing it to pay the bills. I mean… I can’t argue with that. And unless someone’s willing to pay ME, I’d prefer to start enjoying movies the way everyone else does: as relatively frivolous entertainment, and NOT some kind of job. Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Ben Brantley!

(Oh, and since hopefully I’LL have a show on Broadway in the not too distant future, I should mention that while I disagree with Mr. Brantley’s assessment of 9 to 5, he’s probably a brilliant and very astute man and is — at the very least — incredibly handsome… for a guy who sits on his ass for a living.)

Movie Reviews aren’t the only thing I got lazy with last year. Nope, I got even lazier with my Book Reviews. In fact, I don’t think I wrote even one. Of course, I didn’t manage to get through many tomes in 2008, so I’ll plead laziness on that front too.

But 2009 is upon us and there’s simply no time to be lazy anymore (after all, the end of the world is just four years away!) so I’ve caught up with all my book reviews and have updated the Library so everything’s is its place and up-to-date again. Click the BOOKS link above read ALL THREE of my new reviews!