We are used to hearing about cosmeceuticals these days. Cosmeceuticals are those cosmetics marketed like medicines in a bottle: think NV Periccone MD, Dr. Nick Lowe, SkinCeuticals, The Organic Pharmacy, M Lab and Dr. Sebagh (etcetera etcetera).

It seems we Brits have fallen very much in love with high-tech beauty products. The UK market for cosmeceuticals is worth 102 million pounds. Bigger, more mainstream companies such as L'Oreal and Dior have wisely jumped on the bandwagon, putting out things like Youth Code, inspired by the science of genes.

Usually I use cheap products by Simple or Boots to take mascara off at the end of the day. I can't see the point of spending a lot on something that is to be wiped on and off. So long as it is gentle, non-drying and does the job, that is fine by me. I chucked a bottle of Lacura Bi-Phase Eye Make Up Remover into the trolley while shopping at Aldi the other day. At 2.49 a pop, it's pretty good: effective, conditioning, yet not too oily.

The thing about staying overnight in a swish hotel is that, when you come home, your own set up seems a little grubby by comparison. Or a lot, in my case. I stayed at Hotel Du Vin in Newcastle on Sunday and by Monday night found myself surveying the mess in my own bathroom in a new harsher light. Back to reality meant back to standing on plastic pirate play figures, an overflowing laundry basket, a trail of sand on the floor and sink, little coloured waterbombs dotted everywhere, a temperamental shower that may or may not get hot depending on how it feels that particular day, and a shower curtain positioned too close to the shower so that it sticks to you when you get in.

Now fourty years old, Naomi Campbell's looks may have survived better than her reputation. The outcome of this newest saga is for the Sierra Leone court to decide. While scanning the details I came across plenty of other Campbell controversies, amongst them her beauty and diet secrets.

Apparently she favours the maple syrup diet; syrup mixed with just cayenne pepper, lemon juice and water, to detoxify her system. The longest she says she has done it for is eighteen days.

Campbell turned 40 in May. Here's a little about what the other '80's Supers are doing to preserve their stunning faces and bodies, too:

We hear so much about how the sun makes us haggard. Same for cigarettes, stress, pollution, jogging, sugar, trans-fats, not enough of the good fats, children, and lack of sleep.

Now it seems there is ANOTHER culprit to add to the list. I was given a Clarins sample the other day of something called 'Screen Mist- Anti-Electromagnetic Waves & Urban Pollution'.

That basically means: Quick, back away from your computer, it's damaging your skin! Clarins Research claims to have found '...a direct correlation between an accelerated ageing process and being exposed to artificial electromagnetic waves.' Apparently, a few hours of exposure is enough to weaken the skin's natural barrier of protection. This means sensitized, dull, irritated skin.

The Boots website crashed this morning as thousands of women attempted to get hold of a bottle of RapidLash's Eyelash Enhancing Serum. The serum, which costs 39.99, claims to boost lash growth by 50% over the course of eight weeks, was being sold a bottle a minute on Saturday.

Such is the excitement, that sales may even beat those of No.7 Protect & Perfect. Remember women queuing through the night to get their hands on the 'magic' anti-ageing serum?

But before you rush out and slap down your 39.99, hang on a minute.

Hard skin on your feet can be a real pain. It's a bit like having an unfortunate Facebook pest that just won't go away, no matter how hard you try to get rid: persistent, always coming back and definitely not pretty.

I've tried all kinds of things on mine. In my naive teenage years I thought that a mere pumice stone would do the trick (ha!). Then I progressed to foot files, in all shapes and sizes, in a bid to achieve baby soft feet. I learned that just because a file comes in the shape of a foot, doesn't mean it's going to be any better than the last oval shaped one.

The bottom line is, none of this really works.

I feel bad for France's First Lady Carla Bruni. She is always in the press, even more so than French President Nicolas Sarkozy, it seems. Mrs Bruni-Sarkozy is forever being scrutinized and compared with the other First Ladies over her appearance. So it's no wonder if she goes to extreme lengths to look good. After all, all the world is watching her.

I've only ever seen one bad picture of Carla Bruni, taken back in March, with her face looking strangely taut and the skin kind of roughly-textured.

This led to speculation about plastic surgery, but one savvy Medical Doctor suggested Carla had been for fractionated laser treatment. These laser treatments stimulate the skin into making more collagen, resulting in a firmer, smoother face.

Watching Leona Lewis on stage at the Metro Radio Arena in Newcastle last night, I was captivated not so much by the music, but by her make-up.

For her 'Labyrinth' tour, inspired by the fantastical 80's film starring David Bowie, Leona has the most dreamy, sparkly, beautifully made-up look imaginable.

As the media is saturated when it comes to celebrity beauty tips, I thought I'd skip the soap actresses, the reality TV stars and the TV presenters and instead head straight for the classic beauty that is Marilyn Monroe.

I'm sick of reading about the punishing exercise regimes of A- Listers like Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna, and take solace in the idea of Marilyn's own sumptuous, rounded and un-worked out flesh. Though she did, it is believed, take ice baths to combat cellulite (with an added splash of Chanel No.5, natch).

I'm currently fascinated by Marilyn since I'm reading Barbara Leaming's very well-researched account of her life. But the only time the author alludes to Miss Monroe's beauty routine is when she mentions the assortment of skin preparations Marilyn lined on top of the fridge in her small white apartment house below the Sunset Strip.

At this time of year, I can't think of many worse ways to spend a day than going shopping. The thought of trailing round a hot, windowless department store on a sunny day leaves me decidedly cold.

Shopping with a small child in tow is even less appealing, at any time of year.

Forced to take a detour down London's Oxford Street the other day, I decided that the heaving hecticness of it all sort of encompassed all that is Bad about shopping.

A woman in Florida Keys, USA, was arrested recently for dangerous driving, resulting in a crash. Officers expressed their disbelief at what she'd been doing at the time: shaving her bikini line.

Apparently the woman was on her way to meet her boyfriend and 'wanted to be ready for the visit'.

Fair enough, we are all strapped for time, but this lady is clearly a bit barmier than most people. Myself, I confess to having applied mascara in the rear-view mirror (at traffic lights, not on the motorway!)