Journal Live - Blog Central

Great fires of London...

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 11:55:13 +0000

I've decided on my future career folks... I want to be in the fire service.

And not just any branch mind you... the Pontypandy station.

That's where my fire officer idol Fireman Sam goes each morning to make the world a better - or at least cooler - place... but noble though that it, being a force for good is not my primary motivation.

The power of the spoken word

Wed, 27 May 2009 13:38:53 +0000

Having mastered the art of sign language (big up to those sing and sign classes), imagine my surprise at finding out that my vocal chords are, in fact, controllable.

My lack of blogging can also be attributed to my new found love of the spoken word.

I mean, why write it down when you can say it out, loud and proud.

Baby talk schmaby talk... these are the words of a man.

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:26:15 +0000

Hallelujah, praise the fella in the sky and high five until your handy hurts.

Yours truly has mastered the exact amount of vocabulary any man needs to get him through the day.

Regular readers will remember my hilarious - but in retrospect probably rather cruel - decision to speak my first word - D-A-D - on Mother's Day.
We can laugh about it now, but things were a bit hairy for a while. Still, bygones and all that.

Walking in a wedgie wonderland...

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 20:45:13 +0000

... and it's nothing to do with platform shoes or losing your knicky knacks where the sun doesn't shine.

Today was a landmark day in the life of Freddie T (that's my hip hop tag by the way... just something I'm trying out with the ladies).

I had my first ever potato wedge... and it (or should I say they given the number I managed to stuff down before my supply was mercilessly cut off) was simply delightful.

Apparently I'm not alone in our family when it comes to my newfound appreciation for the diversity of potatoes.

The day I met my pop (goes the weasel) idols

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:04:58 +0000

If music be the food of love, then Piccolo Music Club should be given a Michelin star... hence I'm still smarting at my meeting with the duo behind the phenomenon which serves as a shining highlight in the weeks of babies and toddlers all over Tyneside.

And that's not like me.

In the 13 months I've been here, I'd like to think I've carved out a reputation for myself as something of a cucumber on the old coolometer. My unrivalled ability to look nonplussed no matter what stimulus I'm faced with has to be my favourite thing about myself thus far (except for my cheeks, obviously).

Write Said Fred... the return

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 09:32:59 +0000

For those of you who have been worried sick... Freddie boy is back and blogging.

But I don't mind telling you that the past couple of months have been a struggle.

Just when I thought I'd got used to the whole holiday concept (everyone was ALWAYS around so I never got a minute to myself; bedtime was out of the window so my Mr Grumpy side was getting a regular appearance fee; the heat sent me a little bit doolally on occasion; and don't get me started on the dietary issues) they bring me back to where I started from and then have the cheek to introduce me to the weird and thoroughly perplexing world of (drum roll please)... NURSERY.

If patience is a virtue...

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 11:01:38 +0000

... then I'm changin my name by deed poll to Fred 'the virtuous' Telfer.

It was December 24, 2007 when I put in my order for two front teeth... and I'm only just seeing the whites of my top two gnashers breaking through the vast sea of gums responsible for a 1,018 gummy smiles to date.

Santa better be quicker about this year's list or someone's gonna have to have a word.

(I would write more but I'm sunny myself in Provence... I'll send a blog card when I've perfected by backstroke and picked a bunch of lavender for mum)

I've kept my end of the bargain...

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 14:40:40 +0000

For as long as I can remember I have been the recipient of more hand-clapping than you could shake a rattle at.

When I was teeny tiny, I only had to stick out my tongue on demand to get a rousing roud of applause.

Then there were the burps. Every bubble of wind which has left my mouth since day dot has had its own rapturous welcome.

I'm a Swayze baby

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:44:40 +0000

I've just found the best thing EVER.

Picture the scene... I'm using my new found mobility to explore the house from top to bottom and then some when I stumble across a red plastic key-ring-type device whose buttons make it resemble a lady birdy-bug.

The world is my lobster

Fri, 30 May 2008 10:23:00 +0000

Be careful what you wish for parentals... this baby is no longer a put-him-down-and-know-he'll-stay-there kind of guy...

I have officially graduated from the imaginary starting blocks I've been rocking on for the past two months and learned how to put one knee in front of the other. Who knew there were so many nooks, crannies and apparent certain death traps (if the mumster is to be believed) on my very doorstep.

Big Brother is watching... and I'm an only child

Sat, 10 May 2008 15:54:30 +0000

Contrary to parental belief, I've never considered myself to be that much of a drama queen, so please take the following plea seriously.

CALL THE POLICE! GET ME A LAWYER! MY HUMAN RIGHTS ARE BEING VIOLATED AT EVERY TURN!

It has recently come to my attention that my bedroom â€“ my teddy-laden haven away from the hustle and bustle of babydom â€“ has been bugged. That's right freedom fans B-U-G-G-E-D.

In the words of Alanis Morissette...

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 15:57:12 +0000

Isnâ€™t it (or more accurately, arenâ€™t I) ironic?

How ironic can a seven month old baby be you may ask... well check this out.

Picture the scene. Itâ€™s mine and mumâ€™s first Motherâ€™s Day, the cards have been opened, the pressies approved, the happy tears have been shed and a lovely lunch has been had by all.

A second wind

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 23:56:20 +0000

There are many things which keep me awake.

Losing monkey; the thought that baby rice may be reintroduced into my daily routine; having to go back where I came from (I don’t mind telling you I’ve put on a few pounds what with Christmas and everything); the possibility that Martha won't marry me one day... the list goes on.

Tastebuds are officially tickled

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 22:12:05 +0000

Heaven, I'm in baby tastebud heaven...

What has taken her so long to introduce me to cauliflower cheese. It's what I believe they call in the trade, a miracle.

For the past few weeks I've been presented with a variety of mush and I've done my best to smile my way through the likes of "butternut squashy"; "sweet tatoe"; and "turnip delight" - and all the time she had cauliflower cheese in her back pocket.

Six-Month Meltdown

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 13:06:35 +0000

I don't mind telling you I'm pooing myself (which isn't out of the ordinary for a five-and-three-quarters-month old baby, I grant you), but I'm talking metaphorically here.

As I mentioned in my meet and greet, February 8 will see me reaching the grand old age of six months and from what I've just heard, the next few weeks will not be going down as the best days of my life.

Up until now I’ve been happily floating along the babbling baby brook – I haven’t had a flashback to the birth in weeks, colic is a distant (but still rather painful) memory and the little slug which had attached itself to my belly button is long gone.