Today marks 2 years since AJ was placed in my arms and we could call him forever ours.

Happy Anniversary, AJ! A lot of my memories of that trip have faded, but I may not ever forget when they strapped you to me in the Ergo and we walked out the door and down the street. Before we reached our hotel, you were sound asleep, and that was probably one of the best moments of my life. Finally, my son was in my arms and always would be.

A lot has happened in two years, mostly because you will not stop (or even slow down) with the growing and the learning and the changing. You’re already turning into a little boy, and though I miss my baby, I cant wait to see what you’ll become. Last night you counted backwards from 10, and I didnt even know you could do that! I was very impressed. (I guess I have Yo Gabba Gabba! to thank for that). You’ve definitely found your independence and want to do everything by yourself (unless its something *I* want you to do, like poop on the dang potty!) You STILL love to drum, and get better by the day. I’m both excited and nervous at the possibility of you being a drummer for life. Yesterday we took you to the pool (first time this year) and you were SO excited. There’s nothing better in life than your sweet smile and laugh. Well, maybe your hugs. Yes, your hugs make my world feel right.

Dear AJ,

You are two years old today! I havent blogged much lately, but I couldnt let the day pass me by without an update.
In some ways, its hard to believe my baby boy is already 2. In other ways, you have changed and matured so much over the last year, I’m surprised you’re not 3 or 4 years old. 
You had your check up at the doctor’s yesterday. You weigh 29 pounds and are 33 inches tall. You’ve definitely slowed down on the growing, compared to your first year. I can only attribute it to the fact that you are non stop, all day long. You have a pretty hearty appetite, though you’ve definitely become pickier. Right now, you like to eat cereal (rice krispies or kix) with soy milk for breakfast. You’re pretty good with using a spoon, though you must get tyerd from the effort it takes, cause you often drop it and finish it off with your fingers. You went on a month long hiatus from blueberries, but have recently started eating them again. You also like grapes and applesauce. You refuse vegetables of any variety, even if they’re disguised. You love pasta, turkey and fried shrimp.
You sleep in a big boy bed now, and have started sleeping through the night regularly. Its not my preference, but you usually wake up between 5 and 5:30am. I’m not complaining, though. I’ll take that over four wake ups during the night any time.
 You can say more words than I have time to list, and even more that we cant seem to understand. 
The most unique thing about you is your love for the Blue Man Group. You have their rock concert dvd and watch it everyday. You love to drum along with them and have memorized most of the show. You know when to drum, and can follow their beat in many places. You love to sing along, follow their commands, and jump. Its pretty cute to watch, and if I can figure out iMovie before you’re 18, I’ll add a clip to this post.
Other than rocking out, you enjoy puzzles, being chased and tickled, and coloring.
You are kind and loving and quick to smile and laugh. Your sweetness makes my heart melt regularly. I am so proud to be your mommy.

Happy Birthday, AJ! I love you!!

So, I decided to visit the Social Security office to obtain a social security number for AJ. Now that his adoption is finalized and we’ve received his Certificate of a Foreign Birth from NC, an SSN was next on the list. (I’m not sure how it got to be next on the list, my guess is I gathered the list based on what my agency told me was the order of events).
I got there 20 minutes before the office opened because I had heard that no matter where you are in the US, there’s a line. Indeed there was. At least 15 people were waiting before me, and by the time the doors opened, that had doubled. Who knew it was such a popular place?
I took a number, sat down and waited. Number 11. It didn’t take that long for me to be called and I was pleased. Which would mark the last time I smiled that morning (except for the fake ones I gave while trying to keep my cool).
First off, the woman that called my number NEVER looked me in the eye. She took my paperwork and then proceeded to talk to her coworkers, answer a phone call, go get a cup of coffee, talk some more. She never acknowledged me or anything. I began to think I was invisible. Finally, she started typing away at her computer while referencing my paperwork. And three times she asked if I already had a social security number. And three times I said “Well, I do, but this is for my son.” On the third time, I add, “He’s adopted.” And then it all went seriously downhill from there. “Oh, this is an adoption case?” She did a little more typing. “Does he have health insurance?” “Um, yes?” I was really confused, because in all the stuff I read on their website, it never mentioned the necessity for health insurance. But then she let out a sigh, got up and went over to a coworker with my documents in hand. That went on for awhile, with the woman often saying “This is the worst day ever.” Yeah, thanks, not going so well for me either.
After several attempts (by both women) to enter the documents I had provided (The social security card application, the Certificate of Foreign Birth (which is supposed to be the equivalent of a birth certificate) (proof of age) and the Adoption Decree (proof of identity)) they determined that the computer was also requiring proof of citizenship, which I did not have. I did not have it because I was under the impression that a SSN was required to file for a Certificate of Citizenship (and also because their website NEVER mentions it).
They scoffed and told me to go get him a passport and come back. I was SURE, having just obtained our passports last year that an SSN was required to get a passport. I confirmed that when I got back to my office. However, the application for Certificate of Citizenship doesn’t require it, so now I’ll have to file that. I was putting it off, cause it costs $420 and requires a BUTTLOAD of paperwork. And though I was fine with paperwork a year ago, when every piece meant me getting closer to my son; now that he’s here, I’m not a fan. Boo.

Look at my little baby boy!
I’m glad I blogged and took pictures, cause I hardly remember it (My memory has only gotten worse this year). But, my first statement of that day stands true today “Let me just say, my son is AWESOME!”
This past year has been the most crazy, wild, challenging, happiest, love filled year of my life and its all because of him. People sometimes comment on how lucky AJ is to be a part of our family, but, hands down, I am the lucky one.

Anywhere Chair (green) - I think he would really enjoy his own chair.

Table & Chairs

Fancy Cool Table & Chair - isnt it neat?

Tunnel

Whisper Ride Buggy - A friend has this and he seemed to enjoy it… I think its a great concept, cause he’s not ready to make himself go

Learning Pots and Pans - He would probably still rather play with mine…

Bath Stacking Cups - AJ has plenty of squirty toys and foam letters for the bath, but what he likes most is playing with bowls and spoons in the tub. Old cool whip containers and measuring spoons do the trick, but I’m sure he wouldnt mind these either.

Bath Tadoodles

AquaDoodle

Lion Flashlight - There are a few animals, but I think it would be most fun to roar whenever he opens his mouth.

Tops

Beach Toys - We’re spending a week at the beach at the end of the summer.

As far as 18 month stats go, AJ is currently holding at 25 pounds but getting taller by the minute (yesterday he was 32.5 inches). Developmentally, he seems right on target. Which is to say, he has a few words (and signs) and understands directions well. He can stack blocks (but enjoys knocking them down more). He can feed himself (and I need to be better about letting him, its still pretty messy!). He can throw things (ouch!).
He still loves to dance. He knows a fair amount of animal sounds and will provide them by request. He knows all the hand motions to “Wheels on the Bus” even before hearing the next verse he can tell me it will be a “shh shh shh”. He is still generous with his forehead kisses and occasionally offers a sweet kiss on the lips as well as leg hugs (arent those the best?).
He’s crazy cute with his excited babbling and though I’m anxious for communication to get better, I will miss it.
I love every bit of him!

We met Diane & Mike a few months ago, when Steve, AJ & I attended a workshop for adoptive parents in process. We were the light at the end of the tunnel, hey look, you’ll have a baby someday too! Diane & Mike were the only couple there adopting from Korea, and we were able to answer a lot of their questions. Fast forward a few months later and we’ve been privileged enough to share in the excited over their referral, and now, their travel call.

We cant wait to meet Baby Kaden!

You’re 16 months old today. At your last doctor’s appointment, you weighed almost 24 pounds and were 32.5 inches tall. You’re certainly taller, but havent put on too much weight (we suspect its because you’re always on the go). Almost all your baby fat is gone, and you look much more like a little boy than a baby. I’ll admit I miss your chubby face. You now have 14 teeth, with 2 more expected any day now. All those teeth certainly contribute to your older look. I’ve trimmed your hair a little, just around your ears and above your eyes, but your hair is still very thin and short. The fold in your right eye has disappeared, though it did return when you were very sick. You are still eating well, though you easily get distracted, or demand certain things. You drink lots of soy milk and recently started drinking rice milk. You drink out of sippy cups with straws. You have stopped drinking from bottles. You can feed yourself oatmeal with a spoon, but you are still working on your fork skills. Yesterday you tried kiwiberries for the first time and really liked them. Most days, you scarf down blueberries and grapes. But its the salty snacks that you love the most. I wish you would drink more water and eat more vegetables. You still babble a lot, but have a few words and signs. You mostly communicate by pointing at what you want, and grunting a few “uh uh uh”s.
You still havent mastered sleeping through the night, and I’m most often very tyerd because of it. Last night, you were asleep by 8pm, but woke up before 10pm. Daddy tried to get you to go back to sleep, but you cried and cried until you joined us in our bed. Then you quickly fell asleep and slept till 2:30am. At that time, you suddenly sat up in bed and it scared me. When my eyes adjusted, you signed for milk. I thought it was kind of crazy, but if you were thirsty enough to do that, I figured I’d take you to get some milk. Unfortunately, you were also wide awake and remained that way till 4am. Then you slept from 4-6am, but tossed and turned quite a bit. I really wish you could sleep better. Short of just leaving you in your crib to cry all night, we’ve tried every trick in the book.
Despite the lack of sleep, you smile and laugh a lot. You often get really excited about things, which makes you shout out loud. You love to be chased around the house by Mommy, Daddy and Grammie. You love to be tickled. You really like music and dancing. Recently you added a spin to your dance moves. More often than not, you prefer to be in someone’s arms for dancing. We dance to Farmer Tad’s songs, Moose’s songs and Ellen. You still enjoy reading, playing with your plastic stars and your musical table. You love to splash in the tub. You know all the motions to “The Wheels on the Bus.”
You are very settled at daycare and rarely cry when I say goodbye for the day. You are learning a lot there, and love to do crafts and play outside.
But you are still a Momma’s boy. Saying goodbye in the mornings is a routine, but you cry any other time I have to leave, even if its just to go upstairs for a minute. When we are together, you want me to hold you and you get upset when I try to do other things. I’ll admit it can be frustrating, but I’m also thankful that you like me so much.
Daddy gets jealous of that, but I can tell you love him and know he’s special to you by the way you say his name. Your “dada” (with the sign) is so sweet and loving and you are alway so happy to see him.
We both love how you lean your forehead towards us when we ask for a kiss. You are very generous with your kisses.

But its never enough,
Mommy

With the paperwork for our finalization, I had to submit a disclosure of the fees and expenses associated with the adoption. Other than my handy excel spreadsheet, I haven’t really seen all the numbers written down.  I want to share them, because I think it’s important for people to know, if they’re considering adoption. I had no idea it would cost this much. My heart was already invested in the idea by the time we found out the details, and so we just decided to take a leap of faith. Because we believed God was calling us to adopt at this time, we had faith that He would provide the means. And He did. Not in the ways I would have hoped (no bags of money on my doorstep). But AJ’s here and that’s all that really matters.
However, if you prefer to be outstandingly responsible in your adoption process, I suggest you save a buttload of cash.

Before I give the fancy numbers… let me say that I in no way regret any of the money that went towards the adoption process. Though its big money and hard to part with, I know exactly what it was going towards and feel that everyone is well deserving. Though we sometimes joke, I know the money sent to Korea did not “buy” my son. There were many many people involved in the this process, and the fees we paid barely cover their time and effort.
Also, these numbers are specific to adopting through our agencies with a specific agency in Korea. Though I think it gives an accurate average of what an adoption from Korea might cost, pricing definitely varies depending on the country and who you work with in the states. In addition, since we had to pay them, many US Gov fees have increased.

Here you go. Broken into the catergories requested by Durham County.

Application and Homestudy Fees - paid to Carolina Adoption Services and Family & Children’s Agency - $3,170
Placement Agency Administration Fees -  paid to Carolina Adoption Services and Family & Children’s Agency - $9,775
Documentation, Authentications, Mailings, Certication and Authentication Fees- paid to a lot of different places - $1,037
International Facilitation & Placement - paid to Social Welfare Society in Korea - $14,540
Travel Expenses - paid to Korean Air - $3,138
In-Country Expenses - paid to Renaissance Hotel and various businesses in Seoul - $1,000
Post-Placement and Legalization Fees - paid to Durham Clerk of Court and US Homeland Security - $470

Total -  $33,130

How did we do it? Not in the way that we would preferred. We saved a little money (like less than $5,000) and paid cash where it was required. We used a credit card when cash wasnt required. The large fee to SWS needed to be cash (a check) and we wound up taking a line of credit on our house to pay for it. Again, in no way ideal, and probably our last choice of how to do it, but, it worked. We’re paying it all off as we can, and hope to get some reimbursements and money back on our taxes in the future (once we finalize) to pay off larger chunks.

And thats it.

Also, AJ got new shoes (”newooos!”). I’ve been shopping around for something a bit more sturdy than his Robeezesque shoes, but still majorly flexible and not bulky. I ordered a pair of Preschoolians, and while I like the shoes in theory, I didnt like them in person. I wont dismiss them completely, I think they will make lovely 3 or 4 year old shoes. But for now, too much shoe for my little boy. So, I returned those and went with Pedipeds. And I LOVE them. The bottoms are firm, but very flexible. The shoe is structured but roomy and conforming. Exactly what I was looking for in Stage 2 AJ’s Shoes.  Now I just have to resist buying all the other cute styles.