Journey of Grace

To Love Missions is To Love Worship

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sat, 02 Aug 2014 15:44:00 +0000

Missions exists because worship doesn't.

Because people bow down before wooden idols in self-love and pride, recognizing and seeing only lies and an exaggeration of self, denying the glory due the One who deserves all praise.

And because there is this lack of worship and people fail to bow down before their rightful Creator, missions exists. A call to the peoples to know and obey and love their Creator God, to bow down and give Him the praise and honor He deserves. To worship.

And to love missions, to love the salvation of souls, to love evangelism and discipleship is to love worship and desire God's glory.

The true heart of a missionary is that God be praised and honored above all things.

God is most honored when He is worshipped. Missions exists because He is not completely glorified among His creation.

Yet, a lingering question still remains unanswered. How is God glorified? How is God most honored and most praised?

To quote Piper directly, God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.

In order for God to be glorified, we must be satisfied with who He is and what He's done for us. We must be content in His power and majesty and sovereignty. We must find fulfillment in His plan for our lives and His control over every circumstance. We must rejoice and find completion in Calvary's blood shed for our sins and delight in the resurrection of Christ.

We must realize that God is enough. Enough to conquer our sin and give us love, joy, peace, and strength for each day. Enough to sanctify us until we are made perfect and complete, lacking in nothing, one day in heaven.

And when we find that God is enough, when God completely satisfies our desires, God is glorified and He is worshipped.

But that leads us back in a full circle to missions.

In order for people to be satisfied in God, they have to hear of Him first. They have to grasp the enormity of the Gospel and Christ's sacrifice on the cross and His resurrection. They have to confess their sins and acknowledge Him as Lord of their life. And only then they can worship and glorify their Creator in full satisfaction in the knowledge of Him.

Missions exists because worship doesn't. Missions exists because we are not completely satisfied in God and fail to bring Him honor and praise.

Yet missions also exists because of our thirst to see God glorified and honored and praised in the world, from every tongue, tribe, and nation.

Mission exists because our satisfaction in Christ causes us to worship.

As a believer, how can we not desire that God be glorified? How can we not desire others to find true satisfaction in Christ? How can we not pursue and delight in the pursuit of missions, whether through praying, giving, sending, or going?

Missions is a command. A command for us as believers to seek God's glorification that all people might come to worship God for who He is.

So prioritize missions, with a heart and passion and desire for God to be exalted above the earth. God is great, and it is our privilege to honor Him as best we can.

{Inspired by John Piper's book Let the Nations be Glad}

To Sharpen Iron: 3 Lessons Learned from Worldview

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Mon, 28 Jul 2014 00:38:00 +0000

It wouldn't be stretching the truth to say that Worldview changed my life. Again.

As I think back upon this past week, I see the faces of my small group. Girls who changed the way I see God's heart. Who stood by each other through bleary-eyed mornings and tough lectures and intense discussions and six-pack-developing laughter. I see my small group leader Michelle, who imparted words of wisdom I will never forget and who sacrificed her time and energy and heart to six girls last week. I see the faces of our next generation, guys and gals who stand side-by-side, cupping the truth within our fragile hands.

And we are not afraid. Not afraid to ask the tough questions and wrestle with issues of government and law and biblical authority. Not afraid to step onto the streets of greater Seattle to witness to the Light. Not afraid because we have been trained to testify to the Truth.

I have the greatest admiration for these young men and women, who have a desire to know God and know Truth. For when we know God, we know Truth. And Worldview enables us to know both God and Truth. And to not only know Truth, but to share it with the world and empower others with what we've seen and learned.

1. Richard

On Wednesday, all 160+ students headed out to Fremont and Queen Anne for evangelism, armed with tracts and God's truth. And that's where I met Richard and my eyes were opened to God's heart.

Here was a man, stubborn in his belief that the Bible was contradictory and illogical. That the maximum IQ was when two people converge and how the Bible undermines women and promotes slavery. How the Bible was full of errors, while he himself was the supreme authority on what was right and wrong. How he believed he would simply disintegrate in death and how he believed he was a good person.

Oh Lord, forgive him, for he did not know what he was doing. Open his eyes. Break through to his heart. Show him Yourself in all Your glory and grace and love.

It was in that moment that I saw God's heart break. I saw a glimpse of God's immense pain for this man. He was God's beloved creation that He had sacrificed His only Son for, and yet he remained hostile with his sick heart in direct defiance of everything good and right and pure. Psalm 81:13 reads, "Oh, that my people would listen to me, that Israel would walk in my ways!" That day, I felt God's heart cry out in pain. I felt God's agony when He looked upon His creation and saw a disobedient people.

Yet, at the same time, I felt utter frustration, like I was beating against a wall of stone.

For how do you describe light to a blind man? How can you simply make someone see the box of lies he's been living in all his life?

That day, my eyes were opened and I saw the thousands upon thousands of people so blind and lost and dead in Seattle. Not just in Manila, but here in hip, coffee-drinking, tattooed Seattle. We are surrounded by the living dead.

Yet, so often, I am so selfish. I have the antidote to the poison permeating the world's population, yet I do nothing. I sit home on couches and watch TV and go about my daily business, when people are living and dying in their sin in direct rejection of the Truth.

Oh Lord, how can I be so selfish that I would withhold Your life-saving grace to the blind?

Richard showed me God's heart. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Please pray with me for Richard. Pray that God would turn His heart around that he might see God's eternal, unchanging, unconditional love and accept Christ as Lord over his life.

2. Devos

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion. And it is my privilege to study God's Word.

Growing up in a Christian home, we take a lot of things for granted. Often times, I read my Bible because as a Christian, it's the "right" thing to do, but I forget that Christ bought and paid for my relationship with Him. Jesus died for me, so I can know Him and love Him.

Similarly to romantic dates, we have the opportunity to "make a date" with Jesus. I don't mean that to be cheesy, but it's true. People who are in love with each other treasure each moment spent together and cherish each opportunity to spend time with one another. It's never a chore or a burden, but a gift.

It's the same with Christ. He loved us so much He died for us, and how do we repay Him? By treating His Word and our relationship with Christ as a duty or another task on our to-do list? Something to skim through each morning, so we can move on with our day?

Father, forgive me for abusing this beautiful gift of having a relationship with You. Draw me ever closer to Your heart.

Do we have to pray? Do we have to read the Bible? Do we have to do devotions each morning?

No. But we get to. We get to approach the throne of the Almighty God whenever we want and open His Word to learn more out our Creator and Heavenly Father. We get to make a date with Jesus whenever, wherever.

And so often we forget the immense privilege it is to approach our Lord Jesus through prayer and through His Word.

3. Government and God's Truth

Recently, I've been struggling with imposing my own Christian standards on unbelievers through law and government, regarding issues like gay marriage.

One day at Worldview, I got to eat a meal with one of the speakers at Worldview, along with some other debaters and speechers. Mike Schutt explained it, not as imposing morals found in Scripture, but as upholding the Truth, found not only in Scripture, but in the natural order of things. Regarding the issue of legalizing gay marriage, he explained it as looking at how men and women were created physically and the natural process of childbirth and sex. Instead of only looking at Scripture to find what legislation to approve or oppose, he taught that upholding Truth was the more correct principle to apply to situations regarding religious beliefs and government.

And that really helped me reconcile the issue, because as a believer, it's important to always look first to God's Word. But realizing also that God's Word is truth and the natural order of the world supports truth helped me see that there are more reasons to endorse legislation than simply religious beliefs. And that'll help me in turn explain my political opinions to an unbelieving world.

Worldview Academy was incredible. It revived my personal devotions and strengthened my desire for evangelism. It united me with my brothers and sisters-in-Christ, who sharpened me as iron sharpens iron. It taught me incredible truths of leadership, apologetics, and worldview and satisfied my hunger for intellectually challenging, biblical teaching. For what God has done through Worldview, I am eternally grateful.

Worldview changed my life. And I would highly suggest you to let it change yours.

{To watch the Seattle video, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm5Y2J624_Q&list=UUvhBE_nSIkeioS6_OX5yr4Q }

Pursuing the People Instead of the Process - Fighting Against a Task-Oriented Mentality

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Fri, 11 Jul 2014 19:01:00 +0000

A lot of people ask me how I get my schoolwork done.

I don't know. I shrug. There's no trick to it, only that I find satisfaction in the done, in the checking off the task, in the putting down the pen and shutting the laptop and unplugging the guitar.

And I find that's how I get through life. Day by day. Hour by hour. Assignment by assignment. Ticking off my little checkmarks.

Sure, I can accomplish a lot.

But I also miss a lot in the process.

One of my favorite quotes by John Steinbeck reads, "I wonder how many people I've looked at all my life and never seen."

Because that's me. Caught up in the task, so intent on pursuing the done and the finished and the completed that I never enjoy the pursuit or the process or the people. So self-absorbed that I miss the people in my life who make my tasks possible. In my selfishness, I forget that I'm not the only one on this planet. That this life is not about me, but the One who made and died for me.

And I think about the pastors I met in the Philippines. I think about their service with such open-hearted self-abandonment and how they gave up their careers and jobs and goals in life for the dirtiest, the poorest, the neediest.

They saw people.

They put down their books and phones and jobs and money and decided to give. To serve. To love.

And that is what I'm missing. That heartfelt dedication comprised of sacrifice, of realizing the importance of others above ourselves.

Isn't that how Christ lived? In complete self-abandonment, with a heart and mind focused on people. He had God's will in mind, yet lived in complete self-denial. In Matthew 14, Jesus withdrew from the people to a desolate place, probably to pray and spend time with His Heavenly Father. Yet, even then, a great crowd gathered when He went ashore. Instead of sticking to His to-do list, instead of doing what He set out to do, Christ abandoned His plan, had compassion on the crowd, and and healed the sick and loved the lost and held the children.

If even Jesus, God Himself, gave up His own plans for the sake of others, how much more so are we, as His disciples, supposed to sacrifice our own agendas to love and serve those around us?

And in America, in this busy society where everything is a blur and time never stands still because there is always one more thing to be done, always one more thing on our to-do list, do we ever truly see? Do we ever take a moment off of our busy selves and our packed schedules to see the people? To appreciate those who love us and pray for the unreached and the missionaries and the church and our families and do we thank those who are never thanked or talk to those who don't have anyone to talk to?

Because more and more, the Lord's convicting me of my task-oriented heart, how I care more about getting things done than about knowing and loving and serving those around me. How I only see myself and my own goals in life rather than others.

James 1:27 reads, “Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” Not to finish reading the Bible ten times or memorize the entire Westminster Catechism or donate X amount of money. Not about checking things off a list, but about caring for people. Things, not people. And the second most important commandment is about loving our neighbors as ourselves. Again, not things, but people.

Because the truth is sometimes tasks and to-do lists are easier to love than people. People mess up and betray our trust and friendships get messy and relationships may fail. And it takes a lot to be able to trust and accept and love, despite knowing that things may get real and it might not be comfortable or nice or pretty to love our neighbor. Things are easier to control. It's easy to sit down, finish X amount of math problems, be done with it. That's in our control. But people aren't.

And I think God understood this. He understood that it's easy for all of us to become self-absorbed in our tasks and love things because that's within our comfort zone and it's safe.

It's so easy for us to be selfish but so hard for us to be sacrificial.

Yet that's what Christ called us to do. To give up and reach out, to love the people around us as He Himself did. To be willing to sacrifice our own agenda for the sake of others.

For if we are called to live like Christ, if our actions should follow after our Creator, then that's our calling isn't it?

To love even when we don't feel like it.
To love even when we have other things we want to get done.
To put others first.

So let's lose ourselves today in the pursuit of loving others. Let's lose ourselves today that we might abandon our self-love and encourage those around us, for we were called to be fishers of men.

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:39

The Modesty Rant feat. "Modest is Hottest," Protecting our Brothers, etc.

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 10 Jun 2014 21:54:00 +0000

"Modest is Hottest."

I've noticed that slogan pasted over numerous Christian websites and featured in blog posts about modesty. The intention is virtuous. Promoting modesty is important.

But being modest is not equivalent to being hot.

If being hot means showing as much skin as is socially acceptable, if being hot means skimpy bikinis and cropped tops and shorts as short as underwear, if being hot means weighing under 100 lbs with the largest bra sizes possible and the thinnest waist and thighs imaginable, being modest is not hot.

Modesty was never about being hot.
Modesty was never about attempting to attract men by simply being naked or suggestive in the way we dress.
Modesty may never be "hot," in the world's definition of "hot".

But modesty can be beautiful.

Beautiful by showing through our outfits that we have been bought with a price and the life we live on earth is not our own but is lived to the glory of our Heavenly Father. Beautiful by being considerate and thoughtful and sensitive in the way we dress, talk, and act. Beautiful by being the bride of Christ in radiance and purity.

Modesty may never be hottest, but that's okay because what really matters is not people's approval, but God's delight in us.

And He is delighted when we value our bodies as temples of the living God and dress appropriately for His glory. Not that others might value or desire our created bodies, but that people may long for the Creator and see God's fingerprint of mercy in our lives. Not to distract men with a revealing blouse or a miniskirt, but that we might point them to the truth of God's Word in the sincerity in which we live our lives according to what we believe.

A lot of people argue over dressing modestly for fear of stumbling our Christian brothers. Some articles I've read promote modesty to protect the eyes of our brothers, and other blog posts denote this idea, saying such attitudes portray men as weak and unable to control themselves at the sight of bare skin.

There are two extremes to the solution here, either living each day in fear and guilt wondering if our clothes are conservative enough or else flaunting our bodies in a "I don't care, it's their own problem" attitude. I have a couple responses.

First of all, as Christians, we know the responsibility of sin lies within each one of us. We can only blame ourselves for our sinful thoughts and actions. On the other hand, the clothes we wear may tempt others, and Christians should work together towards maturity and growth. It's not so much calling men weak, but recognizing that we all stumble, men and women alike. This attitude should carry over into the way we plan our outfits. Clothing choices differ based on personal conviction, but the mentality should be that even though sin is the responsibility of sinner, we would rather our clothing be blameless in the sight of Christ and so help our church family along than distract them over our shorts or shirt.

Yet, on the other hand, we as daughters in Christ have the freedom to wear what we want, as long as it glorifies and honors God. We don't have to live in constant fear or guilt wondering if our neckline is too low or our skirt seam is too high. God never called us to be nuns, hiding ourselves from the world and from men. We don't have to hide who we are or constantly feel self-conscious because we are made in His image. As long as we have a mentality of God first and others second, as long as we don't seek to distract with our clothing and our hearts are right before God, we have freedom in Him to dress as we see fit.

I know that sounds contradictory. It's one of those things we all have to decide for ourselves and struggle with in our own hearts. It's a balance that differs for each person, knowing that we have freedom in Christ, yet wanting to show thoughtfulness towards the opposite gender in our apparel.

However, I'd like to point out that heart attitude dictates clothing choices. It's not so much about our clothing, but about the heart attitude. A heart that desires attention from the world will choose clothing that glorifies the body. But a heart that puts God first and desires that He be glorified, a heart that unselfishly longs to help others grow in maturity, will find clothing that demonstrates respect for fellow believers and for God.

Modesty is not just about clothes but about the heart attitude. A heart that's modest and humble will demonstrate the same modesty and humility in both clothing and actions.

Modesty may not ever be hot. But in God's eyes, modesty is beautiful.

Philippines Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 10 Jun 2014 06:25:00 +0000

Dear Reader,

If you're interested in learning about my missions trip to the Philippines in two weeks, you can find my other blog here:

http://missiontothephilippines369.blogspot.com/

I plan to blog daily during, before, and after my trip, so subscribe if you would like to be updated with photos, quick thoughts, or ways to pray for me and my team. I am so blessed to have this opportunity to share God's love with the community there, and I'm excited to see what God will teach me through this trip.

Thank you for your prayers!

In Christ,
Amanda

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power."
{Isaiah 40:28-29}

A Dissertation on Selfies, #Selfie, and the Like

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 20 May 2014 05:01:00 +0000

I feel like the new #Selfie song encompasses the self-love found in today's American society. Because life is all about getting Jason's approval, earning 100 likes on Instagram, and sleeping around. Life is all about me.

{Lyrics can be found here: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/chainsmokers/selfie.html}

This mindset carries over to our social media, filling up our newsfeeds with half-naked girls and guys, flaunting faces and eyes and lips and bodies to the glory of themselves. This mindset carries over to our shopping malls, colleges, marriage, and life in general. When we place ourselves upon a pedestal of self-love, we become our own little gods, and life becomes our personal kingdom.

But seriously. When has life ever been about us?

Jesus commands us to consider others' needs before our own. He lived a life of complete humility and self-sacrifice, never exalting Himself or His own physical appearance. Instead, the Son of God was born in a stable to a mere carpenter. He lived in a little fishing village, dressed simply, and ate common food, because His goal was to bring glory to the Father. In fact, Isaiah said in chapter 52, "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him...Like one from whom men hid their faces he was despised and we esteemed him not." Christ's focus was heavenward. He turned the spotlight away from Himself towards the Father.

In the same way, we as believers are simply signposts here on earth, bright spotlights, pointing skywards, directing all praise and glory and honor to our Creator. Our lives are no longer our own but have been purchased by the redeeming blood of our God and Savior Jesus Christ. And so, we live not for ourselves but for God.

Now, this is not to say that selfies are evil or unbiblical. I'm not against selfies in moderation. But to the half-naked guy parading his abs in front of the camera, to the girl with the protruding duck lips, to all these self-obsessed selfies clogging up my Instagram feed...why? Why all this attention to your physical features day after day after day?

First of all, the lives of believers should direct attention to God, not to ourselves. We as sinful human beings are proud, and we covet attention for our own abilities and accomplishments. We fail to recognize our complete dependence on God and the extent of His grace towards us. Only when we realize the enormity of our depravity and the immensity of His goodness can we direct all glory to God. Each day, it's a struggle. A struggle to die to self and live to righteousness, so that He might be glorified through us. Carrying the cross isn't easy, but it's a battle worth fighting.

God, would You glorify Yourself through my weakness?

Secondly, true beauty is not captured by a click of the camera. People are not adequately captured by a picture. Physical appearance doesn't last. What really matters is how we love and treat those around us through our words and actions.

I can testify to this.The closest people in my life don't necessarily look like runway models, although many of them do. Yet, they're beautiful because they have beautiful hearts that desire to please God and love others in return. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but man or a woman of God lasts forever. Physical beauty is great, but what really matters is the beauty of our hearts.

I find it sad how accurately #Selfie defines our society and even believers today. I find it sad that we spend so much time on selfies and something so fleeting and trivial. I also find it sad that instead of bringing focus and attention to our Heavenly Father, we care more about bringing attention to ourselves.

Lord, forgive us for we do not know what we're doing.

This whole mentality of self and external appearance is killing me. Because this life isn't about us. It's not about our success or our appearance or even our happiness. It's about our Creator. The One who sent His one and only Son to die for our sins that we might be saved through Him. It's about Him. Not about us. Never about us.

Social media is a gift. And so let's use that gift, not for the exaltation of ourselves, but for the exaltation of the One who made us.

Dying for a Paradox

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 13 May 2014 02:05:00 +0000

Emptiness has accompanied humanity throughout history as men hunger for something more, something beyond the hollow shell of straight A's, a steady paycheck, and a luxurious retirement. Life has evolved into a desperate search for satisfaction. Our expectation for perfection, the common denominator of mankind, began the crusade for fulfillment, which kindled Buddhist meditation, the hippie movement, and Karl Marx’s utopia among many other religions and worldviews. Men sought crude trinkets of sex, drugs, and money in an attempt to reduce the emptiness, but only succeeded in exhaling shallow breaths of carbon dioxide into an ever-increasing void.

Although we longed for a richer existence and for the supernatural to complete the mundane, we knew of no other method, and so we flirted with the earth. In the unholiest of romances, mankind wooed the world in sheer desperation, lavishing love on an earth that never gave back.

We drunk but were not refreshed.

We loved, but our love returned empty-handed, and our emptiness seemed all the more immense for our vain pursuit.

Yet, Christ promised “whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life” (English Standard Version, John 12.25). Love for the world culminates in a lifetime of emptiness and a future of eternal damnation. To satisfy our otherworldly cravings, we must die, tightly embracing self-sacrifice on earth that we might live eternally. Relinquishing our selfish desires, we must offer our living bodies upon a sacred altar of altruism that we might obtain infinite satisfaction. This paradox Christ commands in us exchanges death for life, humility for future glory, and an affair for holy matrimony.

*written for Advanced Composition from The Potters School*

God Only Refills an Empty Cup: Fighting a Battle Against Passivity and Injustice

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 02:17:00 +0000

“Is not this the fast that I choose:
    to loose the bonds of wickedness,
    to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
    and to break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
    and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
    and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
8 Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
    the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
9 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
    you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
    the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
10 if you pour yourself out for the hungry
    and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
    and your gloom be as the noonday.
11 And the Lord will guide you continually
    and satisfy your desire in scorched places
    and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
    like a spring of water,
    whose waters do not fail."

{Isaiah 58:6-11}

Passivity was never part of Christianity.

God never called us to be couch Christians, helping only when it's convenient, serving only when we feel like it, waiting for someone else to do the work. He never called us to be silent when we have a message to share, inactive when there is work to do, passionless, apathetic, luke-warm Laodiceans in a modern society.

There is so much poverty and injustice and pain in the world today. We look around and see those living in abject poverty and those who lost loved ones. People with broken hearts and scarred pasts. Street kids and victims of human trafficking and stressed moms and work-laden dads and despondent teens. In America. In third-world countries. In our world. How can we just stand by, waiting for someone else to do the job, when people around us are starving, homeless, lonely? How can we be so blinded to the needs around us and so focused on ourselves and our own desires?

Is this Christianity?

Christ lived a life full of selflessness. Humbling Himself to the point of death on a cross, He was beaten for our transgressions, mocked for our iniquities, killed for our sin that we might have life and have it to the fullest. He never lived for Himself or His own pleasure. He never remained silent when He could preach a message of repentance and forgiveness and of the incredible love of Christ. He never remained apathetically indifferent to the pain around Him, but He loved others and healed the sick and blind and lame. His work was of the Father, and He lived not for Himself, but for God. Christ's life was one huge sacrifice for others.

Isaiah also reminds us of the choice we have as believers in the passage above. We have a choice to fast, to take the burden upon us to care for the homeless, the weak, the poor. To defend justice.

To pour ourselves out.

Isaiah uses this phrase, and I am again reminded of sacrifice. Of pouring ourselves out without reserve again and again. Of surrendering our passions and desires and instead fulfilling the needs of others. Of emptying ourselves for those around us. Providing food to the hungry, water to the thirsty, friendship to the lonely, the hope of Christ to a world that so desperately needs Him.

Yet, we will never be completely empty.

For God promises that if we pour ourselves out for those who are afflicted, if we sacrifice all we have for those who are needy, if we give ourselves up that others might see the love we have through Christ, we will be transformed into a spring of water which never fails, refreshes others, and gives life to the weary.

Only a cup that satisfies the thirst of others gets replenished.

Because when we pour ourselves out, God's grace will refill our cups.
When we give, God will supply our needs in Christ Jesus.
When we sacrifice, God will always be more than enough.

We will never be empty, but the grace of God will transform us into a continuous spring that never runs out of life-giving, life-changing water.

If we pour ourselves out.

I love this passage. It's my second favorite chapter in the Bible, next to John 14, simply because I want this to be me. This is my prayer. I don't want to be remembered because of my accomplishments or what I've done in this life, but I want to be remembered as someone who gave. Someone who fought against injustice. Someone who sacrificed herself out of love for her God, so others could find the true Life through hers.

I'm Born This Way and Letting It Go: The Hidden Message Behind Disney's Soundtrack

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Mon, 14 Apr 2014 19:37:00 +0000

"Let It Go," a watered down version of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way."

I have nothing against Frozen or the song itself, but its poisonous message, being spoon-fed to our generation, undermines Christianity and standards upheld by society, producing more Lady Gagas in our world today.

The main problems I have with "Let It Go" can be found in these stanzas:

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in;
Heaven knows I've tried

Don't let them in,
don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel,
don't let them know
Well now they know

Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care
what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway

It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I'm free!

Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone

Elsa teaches us that we all possess an uncontrollable innate behavior. We try to hold it back from wreaking havoc, but we cannot. We have to let it go and sin. Due to societal pressure and restrictive moral standards, we've always had to play the good girl, but now, we don't have to be the good girl. We don't have to abide by a moral code. The perfect girl is gone, and thus we can be truly free.

This is what six-year-olds sing today in our households, in our neighborhoods, and in our churches. Hollywood and Disney has brainwashed us from recognizing the message sugarcoated behind such an innocent sounding song. Frozen seems like such a sweet movie about love between sisters, and it's true. It is a sweet movie. On the outside.

First of all, Elsa sings about how rules prohibit freedom.

This is not only false but unbiblical. Freedom abounds when rules are obeyed and followed. Without rules, there is no freedom.

We see this concept in society today. Rule-abiding citizens enjoy the most freedom. Without laws, there would be anarchy. Each man would live for himself without any enforcement or protection of individual rights.

The laws in our society today defend the individual freedoms of each person. Because we value the rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, we have these laws regarding murder, child abuse, theft, etc. Those crimes violate the freedom of others, and this is why they must be restrained.

When we live according to the law, everyone experiences true freedom and success. However, when we violate it, we experience the penalty for our actions and become restricted, whether through imprisonment or a monetary payment, as a direct consequence for violating the freedom of others.

In the same way, when we look at Scripture, we see that God's laws in the OT were placed there for a specific reason, as a reflective mirror that demonstrates our sin. Without the law, we wouldn't have a standard to compare ourselves to. But with this standard, we notice our dependency on God. We see how we constantly fall short of His standard of perfection. This law, this mirror allows us to see our own depravity.

We were all born as slaves to sin, and these laws imparted to us a realization of the inherent sin nature of mankind.

Elsa also equivocates freedom with a lack of moral standards. Yet, true freedom is when we acknowledge the standard of good and evil and choose to abide and live by this standard.

However, Elsa clearly disagrees. According to "Let It Go," true freedom is about doing whatever you want, even if it's against societal standards, even if it's against the law, even if it's wrong.

And kids are singing this. A Lady Gaga song watered down to our younger generation. This is horrific.

There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are
She said, 'cause He made you perfect, babe
I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were born this way

Isn't this the same message as "Let It Go?" Can you see the similarities? Both idolize the bad girl. Both celebrate our depravity. Since we are born to sin, let's throw a party over it.

Society and Hollywood embraces this lifestyle. Instead of feeling shame over sin, instead of concealing and not letting people know, we let sin go. The loss of the perfect girl is glorified, and America rejoices over depravity openly. Look at the gay marriage legislation passed in numerous states today. Look at the immorality celebrated in TV shows, in movies, and in our neighborhoods. Look at the greed in society.

All this is a direct result of embracing the ideals in "Let It Go." In a children's movie.

Think about it. Pray about it. Talk to your friends and family about it. Christianity provides a way out of our depravity and of the way we're born in. Let's effectively analyze the beliefs presented to us by Hollywood before we let it go.

{For more information, please listen to Ben Shapiro's incredible analysis on Frozen starting 10 min into his podcast at:
http://mynorthwest.com/?nid=577&a=9969383&p=1093&n=The+Ben+Shapiro+Show }

Why I Disliked The Fault In Our Stars - Book Review

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 22:44:00 +0000

Don't get me wrong.

I actually stayed up two nights in a row to finish the book. And I admit, it's a pretty cute story. I'm not usually one for romance novels, but by the time I realized The Fault in our Stars (TFIOS) was one, it was too late. Plus it almost made me cry, and that's a pretty rare thing.

But to get down to earth, even though the story's sweet and the book's plot was interesting overall, I wouldn't recommend it and here's why.

1. Love =/= passion

After reading TFIOS, I could almost believe in love at first sight. In being swept off my feet by those brilliant eyes and that radiant smile. In sending a billion text messages to someone I literally just met. Oh and there comes sex and the first kiss and all that fun stuff.

And I mean, seriously? Is that what love really is? Just an indiscriminate passion?

Christ defined love for us when He gave Himself sacrificially for the church. He shed His own blood for us, giving up his Godship to humble Himself even to the point of death on a cross. What more could He give? And in the same way, He calls husbands to love their wives with the same kind of sacrificial surrender. Any love apart from this is inferior.

Love is not just physical, intimate pleasure. Love is not just a feeling or fervent emotion.

Love is a choice.

It's easy to say that when you're emotionally attached. It's easy for author John Green to make a big deal about Hazel and Augustus' unconditional love when they're both still young, relatively immature, and desperate to be wanted. It's easy to say that in the heat of the moment when emotions are all riled up. Sure, they both experienced great difficulties and persevered together through it all. I accept that. But still, they didn't really fight or argue. They were still in that "in love" stage. TFIOS love... it's not legit.

When I think of love, I picture Up and all the godly older couples around me today. Who argued and fought at times, yet chose to persevere together despite life's difficulties. Who remained faithful to their marriage vows even when that passion disappeared. Even when they both did and do things to hurt the other deeply.

Love is a commitment.

And I don't think Hazel and Augustus have this commitment mentality in mind in the book. At all. Who goes to some guy's house that she literally just met an hour ago? Plus seriously, what was John Green thinking when he included that sex scene? Or all those kissing scenes? Because again, this implants within his readers the concept that love is physical. That love is very hands-on. That love is based on passion.

But love isn't any of those things. Rather, it's a commitment, a dedication between two people who resolve to remain true, even when the passion isn't there, even when they've both hurt each other.

TFIOS doesn't truly define a biblical view of love. Rather it sort of hints at it, incorporating unnecessary details of sex and intimacy between Augustus and Hazel, trying to fabricate this concept of unconditional love.

When Green clearly doesn't get it.

2. Isaac's revenge

So basically, for those of you who haven't read the book, Hazel and Augustus have this mutual friend named Isaac, who becomes temporarily blind. Because of his blindness, his girlfriend ditches him. Out of anger, Hazel and Augustus guide Isaac to his girlfriend's house where they all throw eggs at her car and at her door.

Like seriously? What a six-year-old thing to do.

Because when people do things to hurt you, the correct thing to do is to get back at them?

I thought this story was about unconditional love. If Isaac truly loved his girlfriend unconditionally, he would have understood and desired what's best for his girlfriend, instead of deliberately seeking revenge and hurting her. Ideally, he would have lovingly closed the wound, let her move on, and demonstrated a Christ-like kindness. Isaac didn't really love her at all.

This is yet another reason why I don't believe John Green understands love. Love is not some temporary feeling based on individual actions or choices. Love is not equivalent to passion or satisfaction. And revenge is never justified.

Christ commands us to love others as ourselves, even our enemies. Even if people hurt us or do things that tear us apart. That's how true love works. Christ died for us as wretched sinners who rebelled against Him, who broke His very heart by our sin, who hurt our Creator so very deeply. Yet He died for us. He loved us. He gave Himself for us, even in our hatred and disobedience towards Him.

Revenge doesn't fit into the picture of biblical love. Neither does TFIOS.

3. Writing

Enough with plot analysis.

First of all, let me just tell you, the writing level is pretty down there. I accept that TFIOS is for simple reading, and I also accept that not everyone enjoys reading Dickens for fun. I certainly don't all the time. Yet I find it degrading that John Green resorts to such simple language for a high school novel.

Secondly, why the f-bombs and all the cussing? Sure, I understand the characters experience some deep emotional and physical trauma, and an occasion word would be fine with me. I'm not sensitive to language usage in general, but still, I get the point. We as readers don't need words like that to sympathize with the main character, especially at the rate that Green uses them.

So, TFIOS. Definitely a very secular book with a self-deceived worldview and a deficient writing style. Like most romance novels, it presents a destructive view of love in general, and this point of view, this concept of love triggers the American dream we see around us today. A world of broken families, casual relationships, teen pregnancies. This mindset carries over into how we view relationships, marriage, divorce.

I'm not saying TFIOS causes all these things. That would be a slippery slope fallacy. But still, this mindset that John Green presents is dangerous to our society and to us as teens, endowing us with this unrealistic mindset of love, of passion that never ends.

I'm also not asking you to agree with me. I know a lot of people who really love this book, and that's fine. To each his own, right?

But I am asking you to consider the ideals Green promotes and the ideas upheld behind TFIOS. I'm asking you to take a few minutes and contemplate the worldview the book presents and the consequences of its viewpoint.

Not all that glitters is gold.

Spiritual Makeup on our Bare Necessity {with special guests Idina Menzel, High School Musical, and Shel Silverstein}

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sat, 08 Mar 2014 18:54:00 +0000

We walk around life with brown paper bags over our faces.

Trying not to let them in or let them see, trying to be the perfect girl society says we have to be. We conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Icy chunks of ice, frozen solid, while deep inside, we're melting.

Sometimes we slather on eyeliner and mascara simply because we're insecure. Because sometimes we shrink from the tired-eyed ghost reflecting in front of us and we grab brushes and paint to try to change the fact that we're humans with natural flaws in all our bleary eyes and pock-marked skin. So we smear on concealer, trying to disguise our weaknesses behind a false veneer.

Oh God, why do we do this?

That's how we walk through life, isn't it? We stroll through with masks and facades, hiding behind our plastic surgeries, trying to appear picture perfect.

When makeup is simply a pitiful endeavor to hide our weakness from others, from God.

Imagine, a classroom, a soccer field, a church full of the desperate yet full of pretense. Full of people pretending that life is good, pretending that the sun still shines, while everything around them lies frozen and bleak and so piercingly cold.

Lord, we have so many empty shoulders around us, so many shoulders to lean on and cry against. Yet why does pride imprison us within ourselves? Why do we walk this journey alone?

Because we're proud. Because we care about self-image. An image of big eyes, full lips, right body proportion. Independence. The ability to do everything on our own. Isn't that how America was established? The belief that yes, we can work to better ourselves, and through our own effort, we can build our own future. By ourselves. Yes, this is me. So self-deceivingly prideful. Nose high in the air, tripping over my five inch stilettos.

But deep inside, those eyes are quivering with unshed tears, as we bite those full lips, trying to contain the hurt inside, body aching with stress and worry. Because the truth is, we can't. We can't do everything by ourselves.

But yet we still stand apart. Apart from each other. Apart from God.

This is ridiculous.

People suffering under one giant tent, but yet each one encages themselves, holding onto invisible bars, shutting out everything and everyone. And not only that but we have a Savior in that tent with us. A Savior who defied death and sin to redeem His children from the judgment of eternal darkness, and who promises to never leave us nor forsake us. His love is unconditional. And still we hide away in our own little dusty corners rather than throw away our pride.

So here I am today, admitting that I am broken. I am weak. I am proud. And I won't lie to you. These past three weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I've had some of the best days of my life, and God has blessed me with so much. Yet, these past weeks have really worn me out at times, and I've discovered how weak I am. People and things have broken me, and sometimes I feel so incapable and worn and indecisive. Also, it's that time of year again where we have to plan next year's school schedule, and sometimes things are just frightening. Like the choices I make now will deeply affect next year and the year after that and college and life, and I just have no idea.

But yet here I am today, ripping away the frozen mask, letting it go to the icy wind, arms out wide, face bared to the world. Shredding that brown paper bag of mine and burning all my mascara, all my pride.

It takes one person to open up.
It takes one person to make others feel secure.
It takes one person to let others know that suffering is universal and these masks, this makeup, these paper bags are useless.

Alone we cannot overcome life's difficulties. But together, with our heavenly Savior and our spiritual brothers and sisters, yes, yes, we can.

We're all in this together.

Directing the King's Heart: Seeing God's Fingerprint in the Rain

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Thu, 27 Feb 2014 18:24:00 +0000

We say that God is enough.

That He fulfills the very desires of our hearts. That when we have God, we have everything. He gives and takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

But when life hurtles down task after task, when we are bone weary, when we find ourselves questioning all the whys, is this still true? Is it true when friends commit suicide or people get so terribly ill or when our world spins out of our control? Is God still enough in the mundane of life? In chores and schoolwork and researching and washing dirty dishes, is God enough?

Visit the mall, and notice the outcropping of these words.

Because so often, words are just facades of the emptiness within. Just a shell of what they should mean. Of what they could mean.

Often, I imagine myself in Auschwitz or in the midst of a gladiator arena, and I wonder if I could die for Christ. In all truthfulness, it's already impossible to mouth the words that God is my everything and that I could live on God alone. Even here today with my dwarf trials and tribulations. But as these Christians voiced these same words, their bodies became mauled and shredded and gassed, their children burned, their whole world ripped apart.

And here we are today. Shedding hope so desperately, so eager to give up and prepare the noose, when Salvation has already shed His atoning blood that we might stand firm.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Earthly blessings don't satisfy. Circumstances change, and Job knew this. As one of the richest men alive, the master of countless slaves, owner of thousands of cattle, father and husband to a prosperous family, Job experienced immense wealth during his time. Yet, in less than 24 hours, Job lost everything. Everyone. But God was still enough, and Job recognized that, never blaming Him or cursing Him in his misery.

And so Philippians 4:19 reminds us that God will supply our needs, according to His riches in Christ Jesus. In Christ Jesus.

Christ is enough. God is enough.

Though this world, though all these riches may crumble before our eyes, though friends may desert us and loved ones waver and fade, He stands true for us. Forever. He intercedes on behalf of our weakness, our Mediator who embodies eternal hope and atonement for our darkest sins. When our world collapses, when we cannot understand, we can stand firm on the Rock of our salvation.

In our all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving heavenly Father, we rest assured, knowing that storms only occur in the palm of His hand.

And so God is enough.

He provides strength, each day, every day. When I cannot understand, when I cannot tame my own anger or jealousy, when I desperately thirst for His joy, I simply ask for grace, believing in my Heavenly Father and His perfect plan for those who love Him.

Some of you may know that I struggled with depression. I put a d on the end of "struggled" because its intensity has drastically declined over the years. However, God utilized and manipulated my depression to teach me that He is enough. Those times when everything felt unreasonable or incredibly irritating or stressful, those hours spent crying were times when God made me dependent on Him.

And even now. Recently, I've understood that I'm not in control of life. Things happen, and some days it's hard to trust in His plan and satisfy my thirsty soul in God alone. Yet He is enough, as the Master and Perfecter of our faith who builds us up in Him, who directs the control panel of life with joystick in hand, who works all things for His glory and for our good.

It is a beautiful thing to be dependent on Him.

It's a beautiful thing to be dependent on the One who made all things, who provides all things, who works all things to His glory.

It's beautiful.

And the more we depend on Him, the more we realize that He is enough. The more we hunger for Him, the more satisfied we are with His goodness and holiness. The more desperately we search for Him, the ever more glorious we find Him.

So tonight, I'm falling on my knees. Begging God above to open up the creaky hinges of my heart and make me totally reliant on Him. To discover Him in all His glorious perfection, so His majesty can satisfy the trivial cravings of my heart.

God, be enough for me.

When the Plank is in Your Own Eye

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 02:16:00 +0000

I haven't written much lately.

Not simply because I'm busy, although I am. But more because these past weeks have chaffed my nerves raw, and suddenly I shrink from myself. This stranger who flaunts foul language, explodes under anger, and fights a losing battle against pride? Who points a stern finger at others while following the same faded chalked line? Is this me? Is this who I've become?

I've learned that I profess one thing but live another. That I nail up this facade of godliness, but yet I stumble into the same bottomless pit night after night and my heavy mascara and eyeliner tear away in the penetrating wind and really inside I'm such a broken mess of promises and mistakes pieced together. Oh, I am so blinded.

Because how can I write about godliness and holiness while I fall myself? Truth is, I'm no better off than you. I struggle with the same problems, the same temptations, the same pride and anger and rebellion issues. I'm just another human being, fighting the same battles, running the same race. Trying. But falling just the same.

Christians aren't hypocrites. They, we are everyday people trying to live for God, trying to glorify Him and do what's right and please Him in every minuscule chore or assignment or achievement in life, but oh good Lord above, we fail so many times. We try, but we are so broken. Oh God knows I've tried to obey Him and do what's right, but sometimes in times of weakness in stress or anger, the real me erupts into fiery inferno. Words and feelings and emotions that I never knew existed or tried to forget when devotion time rolled around suddenly explodes. Even when others cannot see the blistering magma raging within my soul, God knows. He sees. And He agonizes over my rebellious heart.

Oh God, deliver us from the evil frothing within ourselves.

Sometimes I'm so terrified of myself and what I'm capable of thinking, of saying, of doing. I cannot downgrade into the person I was saved from. I cannot withdraw from the love of Christ and reject my Lord's perfect suffering on the cross or His tomb gaping open victoriously with the hope of all eternity and release from all sin. How can I leave all this, all this beauty and hope and triumph and exchange it for a life of sin, self-love, and empty fulfillment? Yet sometimes I wander so far from the One who alone is worth loving. And sometimes I'm terrified that I'll leave and run far, far away from my Heavenly Father and break His heart and abandon mine to the chains of this world that threaten to bind me ever near.

Oh Lord, don't let me fall. Don't ever let me go. Don't abandon me to my own selfish heart or leave me to the sin that so entices me away from Your path. Bind me to Yourself.

I've done things that I'm not proud of ever doing or saying or thinking. But this life...when was it ever about being perfect? In fact, Christianity bluntly warns us that we will sin. Even as His adopted children with the Holy Spirit living within us, we will fall and stumble and commit the most horrendous crimes against Christ's holy name. It's not a matter of if. It's a matter of when.

But that's the glorious message of Christianity. When we can't, Christ can. When we stumble in our brokenness, when we plummet into the same traps as our friends before us, when we blaspheme and rebel and stagger in weakness, God is more than able to lift us from our helpless shards and wipe the blood from our scraped knees. He is both able and willing to bandage and redress our wounds, forgive us once again, and provide the strength to journey on.

We will fall. We will stumble. And that's the way it is. We're human, incapable of moral perfection with hearts still learning to yearn for Christ's holiness and walk in the manner of which we have been called. Living works-in-progress.

Our sin just points to the cross. Our hypocrisy, when we try but fail but rise to try and fall again, this all just reminds us of our need for Christ. We cannot hope to succeed without Christ. This life would just become a meaningless sequence of bruises and cuts and scrapes and an endless, winding road with no chance of victory. Yet we as believers can triumph in the One who conquered all sin and death forever. And in eternity, finally, we will be rid of this struggle. Sin will be conquered within us once and for all, and completely, wholly, Christ will reign within us. We will be forever freed from the grasp of sin and released from the everyday battle with the monsters within us, the constant grind that weighs us down today.

Oh Lord, hasten that day. Hasten that day when we will finally be without any semblance of sin and all will be well and I will finally overcome all darkness within me through the saving grace of Your blood. I look forward to that day when all battles will cease and I will finally be rid of this sin-struggle for eternity. Yet here on this day, on this desolate and tempting planet so devoid of anything worth adopting unto myself, be with me. You know that I try, but I fail so many times. I am human, weak, in need of You and Your mercy and forgiveness and strength. Will You reign through me? Will You empower me to live for You and You alone? Put a hedge around me, so that in each waking moment, my efforts to glorify You will not be in vain.

A 365 Day Journey: Looking Back and Looking Forward

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 17:54:00 +0000

This is my first year making New Year resolutions.

I've never made them before because I've always had this philosophy that life is about finding ways to grow and mature through each day, through each second. Sort of a short term perspective. And it worked for a while, I'll admit. A big part of life is about working in each second, finding ways to act in each specific situation to reflect Christ.

But this year, I felt a bit differently towards New Year resolutions. A bit adventurous, maybe even. Heck, why not? Life is still relatively fresh. 2014, finishing up my sophomore year. Heading into the world of juniors: PSAT, SATs, visiting colleges. It won't hurt to have a few goals in mind, so I won't backtrack in my spiritual life because I want God to be the center of my life, no matter what.

I have some non-spiritual resolutions in mind, regarding things like debate, karate, firearms maybe even. But in this post, I'm going to set myself two main spiritual goals that I hope to somewhat obtain by 2015.

1) Joy in all things.

Because sometimes I act like a jerk and let my circumstances dictate my emotions. Life is too much like a rollercoaster for me. And so often I forget that this life isn't about me. It never was. It's about the One who saved me. Who died for me, so that I can have every spiritual blessing here on earth. Who provided everything I need for life and godliness, and who promises an unconditional peace. He loves me, no matter what. And so often I forget this amazing truth: that the Creator of the UNIVERSE is my heavenly Father. And life isn't about me or having a good time. It's about God. And all things work according to the good of His children who love Him and obey His commands. So I can trust Him, because everything is according to His glorious plan.

So this year, I want joy. To stop complaining and whining about every little thing. To stop feeling depressed and miserable. To stop criticizing people and feeling sorry for myself. I want to see beyond the dronings of this world and have a God-given joy and peace despite the curveball life throws at me. It won't be easy. It'll be a battle. But it'll be a battle worth winning.

2) Prioritize spending time with God.

To be honest, I am ashamed at how little time I spend with Him out of my 24 hours each day or how little I care about getting to know Him better. I can wax eloquent about how much I love God and all that, but it all comes down to everyday situations. Everyday scenarios. Woke up too late, and what do I forgo? Cut down to a minimum 5 minutes scanning through God's Word, 10 second prayer, rushing downstairs to get today's workload done. And I know this is a heart attitude. That I care more about other things than about my heavenly Father.

This needs to change. Just like any other relationship, time needs to be invested in order for it to grow and deepen into something beautiful. And I should be overjoyed to spend time with my Creator. In these next twelve months, I want to know God. I want to spend more time with Him. I really truly want Him to be first above everything else. And this will be hard. And there will be days when I just want to check Facebook or start working on math homework instead of talking to my Creator and reading His Word. But I want Him to be first. Which means I need to make Him first. Starting today.

When I look back at 2013, I realize how much God has taught me. I've made some really horrible mistakes, but He never left me. Never once. And even when it seemed like nothing was going right and my world was becoming fried, He knew what He was doing. And in hindsight, I am so grateful. I am so grateful for all those times when I suffered and was broken, because they really drove me to the throne of God.

Earlier in 2013, one of the things I struggled with was the question that many of you might also have wondered: If God is a good God, why are so many people going to Hell? People that I love and care for, my friends, my family, those who I hold dear to me. And night after night, I'd cry my heart out because I felt so guilty. Call it survivor's guilt if you will. I couldn't comprehend why God would do such a thing, and why I was saved while those I loved weren't. I felt so incredibly criminal inside, and for a while, I withdrew from God. I hated Him. I told myself that I wouldn't, I couldn't believe in a God who willingly hurt such beautiful people and condemned them to an eternal Hell.

Yet God was still there. Even when I hated Him, even when I despised His gift of salvation, He was there all along, and I knew it. It must have broken His heart to see His daughter reject Him and spit on His goodness.

Because, the truth is, we are not innocent people. In fact, all of us have rebelled against God totally. Apart from Him, we cannot do good. We are unable to please God and incapable of anything worth doing. We broke His law and we deserved Hell. Yet, because of His mercy, He sent His one and only Son down to this earth so we can be saved. We all have the chance of eternal life, if only we repent from our sins and turn to Him, surrendering our broken hearts to Him and accepting Him as Lord and Master of our lives, living our redeemed lives for holiness for Him.

The question isn't "why them?" The question is "why me?"

Why did God choose me? I am unworthy of His sacrifice. I don't deserve His goodness. I don't deserve life on earth. I broke His law. I am unworthy.

Yet He chose me, not because of who I am, but because He wanted to glorify Himself through me.

Because that's the purpose of anything and everything here on earth. That's the purpose of living. To glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. This whole salvation process, it's all about His glory. Each person who is saved is for God's glory. It's not about us. It never has been. It's about God and glorifying Him and magnifying His name because He truly is great.

I am unworthy. So Lord, let Your mercy and strength and love shine through me. Glorify Yourself through me.

I'm like a broken clay pot, punctured, cracked. Yet it's because of these fractures that the light can shine through all the more clearly.

It's my imperfection that allows Christ's perfection to be more clearly revealed.
It's my sinfulness that unearths the extent of Christ's forgiveness and grace.
It's my weakness that reveals the immensity of Christ's strength.

And that's my prayer for 2014. To be so immersed in God that my every action, every thought, every word would bring honor and glory to the One who deserves all glory.

Lord, make me weak this year. Make me so dependent on You that people can see You working through this broken heart of mine. Because it's really You working through me. I am nothing on my own. Yet, with You, I have worth. Being. A purpose. Glorify Yourself through me in each day, so that people will ultimately praise You and bring honor to Your Name, because You are so worthy of all the praise here on this earth. Whatever this year may bring, whether suffering or tears or hard work or laughter, may I grow ever closer to You and into the likeness of Your Son. Amen.

Pope Francis: Throwing Aside Hypocrisy and Truly Living in Christ's Footsteps

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Wed, 11 Dec 2013 23:32:00 +0000

Pope Francis.

Now, here is a true pope. Here is a leader of the Catholic church who actually lives out his beliefs. Who cares for the poor, who sacrifices himself to serve others, who lives out his creed, instead of gaining both money and weight, like many so-called popes have done in the past.

Before I go on further, I'd like to clearly establish that I disagree with many of Pope Francis' views on homosexuality, marriage, the church, politics, abortion a.k.a. "women's rights," and theology. I agree that his nomination may have serious long-reaching implications, and that Catholicism is vastly different in its beliefs from Protestantism. In this regard, I do have doubts regarding the salvation of Catholics, simply because they emphasize salvation through works. But that isn't what I want to discuss in today's blog post.

So why is it that I choose to side with Time Magazine on this issue? Why is it that I applaud his nomination, though I strongly disagree with him?

It is because I support him and his heart to love others as Christ loved us. It is because I greatly respect him as a person, whatsoever he might choose to believe, that I agree and commend the decision of Time Magazine.

I salute his faith as shown through his actions.

To be honest, I am sick of the hypocrisy in the church. The people who claim to serve Christ but who live nothing like it. We all know people like this who desecrate the name of Christ and who say one thing but live another.

That is why it is so refreshing to see someone professing to be saved who lives like it. This is Pope Francis. He doesn't just preach, but he does what he preaches. He claims to love God and people, and He does.

Pope Francis is known for his love. There have been numerous articles and pictures on the internet of the pope hugging the disabled, the ill, the crippled, the deformed. He accepts people, whoever they are, and shares the love of Christ with them. In fact, in my opinion, he goes a bit too far with this, spreading implications of tolerance and acceptance that contradict Scripture. However, Pope Francis actively lives out his creed of love, and I greatly admire him because of this. His encompassing love for people can be shown, and this reflects his selfless heart and his desire to reflect Christ through his love for all mankind.

Pope France is also known for his simplicity. He cooks his own meals. He takes the bus. He washes the feet of inmates. He is a humble, humble man, and this is another reason why I approve of his nomination for the Person of the Year. As the pope, one has great power and authority. However, Pope Francis doesn't indulge in pompous ceremonies or his money. Instead, he gives. He sacrifices. He himself lives just like the people he serves. And this is amazing. That a professing man of God would lower himself down to our level. Isn't that what Christ did by coming down to earth? How fitting that the pope would do likewise.

Pope Francis demonstrates true humility. Humility is a hard thing to practice on a daily scale for a typical, everyday American, let alone the pope. One of Pope Francis' first public actions was to ask for a blessing. Not to give a blessing, but to ask for God's blessing.

And this is truly precious.

This is true religion. Christianity at its best.

Christianity is not about wearing Christian T-shirts or buying cool devotionals and writing Bible verses all over your arms. Christianity is not about the latest free-trade anything or wearing cross necklaces or wristbands. Christianity starts with a change of heart to surrender to Christ, and this change of heart leads to action. To love. To humility.

And this is why I respect Pope Francis. Not because of his beliefs or his support of the Catholic religion, but because of the way he loves and serves. And this leads me to wonder. . . What if Catholics and Protestants followed in his example today? What if we threw off our hypocrisy and simply loved? Loved and cared and served? How would our world be changed? How would Christians be known?

You know, it is my goal to be a Pope Francis. Here. Now. Wherever I am. To love others, so wholeheartedly that they can see Christ through me. To be so humble that they can notice Christ's power working in me. To be a signpost, reflecting my Creator and Sustainer and Father.

This is Pope Francis. And this is who I want to be.

And that is why I so heartily approve of Pope Francis, the true Person of the Year 2013.

Today I Choose to be a Pippin: In Honor of Thanksgiving

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sun, 24 Nov 2013 22:54:00 +0000

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." ~ Colossians 3:17

Dear Reader,

So it's Thanksgiving again. That one day where we pull out our best tablecloths, brace ourselves for a frantic day of cooking, and manage forced smiles as guests pull in at the driveway. That one day where we frantically rack our brains for something to share, other than the usual "friends, family, and food" speech.

And today, as I sit down with a bowl of nachos beside me, I feel so ashamed. Ashamed of myself and my own ungratefulness and how I take all of this wonderful life for granted.

Oh God, I am so hypocritical.

Recently, He's been teaching me a lesson. I've grown to realize, through family and friends, how easily I'm swayed and discouraged by simple things, whether other people or my own emotions. But God doesn't want that. He hates the ingratitude in me, and He's trying to change me into someone who's constantly thankful, constantly searching for the good in everything, constantly encouraging and positive.

One thing that few people know about me is that I used to struggle with pretty intense depression. I still do occasionally. And one thing I've realized is how self-focused my depression is. I mean, this is me, okay? I've never experienced a serious accident, been deathly ill, suffered emotional trauma. I'm just an everyday teenage girl in the suburbs of Seattle, and my struggles are so minimal. The occasional physics homework. My own un-coordination in karate. The disappointment after too high of an expectation of a guy. Look, I've never even had an official breakup. My troubles are nothing. Yet, I somehow make them into everything.

And my depression and those occasional bad days taught me some valuable lessons.

It's when I take my focus off of God and His goodness that I fall.

It's when I choose to pinpoint and inspect the little dirt specks in my life, instead of the enormous riches I have in Christ, that I fall.

It's when I focus on self and not God that I fall.

Suddenly what he said or what she did seems so important and enormous and powerful. Suddenly what I want seems to be so encompassing that I cannot think of anything else. Suddenly every other good and perfect gift seems so unimportant and minuscule compared to my great burden.

Forgive me, Lord, for focusing on myself, when everything good and worth-knowing is in You. Forgive me for being so self-centered. Will You help me look to You this Thanksgiving? Will You help me give thanks in You? For You are the crux of everything worth giving thanks for.

Without the cross, our health, our family, our friends can all be snatched away, along with all the joy and thanksgiving in our lives. Without the cross, our thanks-giving becomes a ranting about our temporary happiness. Without the cross, Thanksgiving just becomes a day where we can feel good about our own lives.

Yet, all these things can't satisfy us. Friends nor family nor food nor material goods. Nor money nor fame nor expensive vacations. People will hurt us, either intentionally or unintentionally. Things break and tear, and food gets eaten all too quickly. Nothing lasts for forever, and everything has consequences.

Although these blessings are blessings in the right place in the right time, I understand that they will fail us. Yet, we need to give thanks even when we don't have anything to be thankful for. It's a command. We are commanded to give thanks in all circumstances, even if we have literally nothing.

And so I've learned whenever depression hits to just stop. Stop thinking about myself and my own problems and start thinking about the Savior and His goodness. Because sometimes bad things do happen and people say mean things and material things get old. We all have those days. But when that happens, we need to be able to look to the cross above the storm.

For only Jesus can truly satisfy.

Only Jesus can enable us to give thanks in all circumstances.

Because seriously, Jesus has bought eternity for me. He has saved me. I was a prisoner to sin. I struggled to do good without any hope of being good. I was blind to myself and my own chains, and He set me free! He really has. Instead of trying to be good, He has been my good enough. And I am so extremely, incredibly blessed to be His child. To be able to be called His daughter and to be loved by the Creator of the universe. To now have the hope of living eternally with Him and enjoying His peace and strength here on earth. That now, when troubles strike, I can lean on the Almighty God above. That I don't need to worry about life and my future because He has the perfect plan in mind for me.

And so I can give thanks and look for the good in everything. I can smile and say with true conviction that I am blessed and all is well and God is good.

Because when Christ is the center of our universe, nothing can shake us. Everything has a purpose. What he said, what she did, what grade we got - everything matters. God meant for that to happen, and it's all part of His encompassing, sovereign plan.

Because when Christ is our all in all, nothing else matters. Neither the newest iPhone nor that boy in school. Nothing can supply the unconditional love He provides, and nothing can replace or diminish His goodness and grace and mercy and love. Nothing. No one.

Because when all perfect gifts come from the One who embodies all perfection, we can see His signature in everything, in every day.

I dare you this Thanksgiving to look for God's autograph in the world. To look beyond our own struggles and to see His face through the storm. To become so engrossed in our Savior that nothing, nothing at all will be able to shake our satisfaction in Him.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tolerance, Love, and Truth: Standing Firm for the Right in Right Now

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sat, 09 Nov 2013 18:00:00 +0000

I believe in truth.
A nonnegotiable, uncompromisable standard of truth that is not open to interpretation. Truth is black and white, and truth is intolerant of personal opinions.

I will die for truth simply because it's true.
If my life and death can show others the validity of my beliefs because I value truth enough to sacrifice myself, rather than compromise and so violate my conscience, then so be it.

I will live out my faith and convictions in that truth because I love people enough to show them the truth.
What I do will reflect that truth, and I will not compromise or give in or back down. My life will stand as an example of a life lived out by the truth for the truth.

If I don't live for the Giver and Creator and Standard of truth, then who do I live for?

Now that may come across as harsh, intolerant, and bigoted. So please hear me out, as I attempt to present my reasoning somewhat logically. Recently the term "tolerance" has been ranted about in headline news. I've seen these following arguments debated, whether in person, through email, or in Facebook conversations. So since this issue continues to gain popularity, our own views of truth need to be ever strengthened both theoretically and practically.

The type of truth I am about to discuss is the truth strictly portrayed in God's Word. The Bible clearly points out and defines certain sins as sins, such as homosexuality, greed, pride, and adultery. God hates sin, and He commands us as a perfect and holy God to do the same. Throughout the Old Testament, He sets a high penalty for sin: the shedding of blood. When the Israelites committed a crime, whether small or large, they slaughtered an animal in place of themselves and their own blood. Many people have died because they chose to violate God's holy Word, and people today continue in their sin in complete rejection of Christ and His covenant.

Now, these are nonnegotiable.

God's truth is nonnegotiable.

We as believers cannot pick and choose what areas of the Bible to regard as truth. We must either accept the complete Word of God as the very truth and standard for our lives or throw it all away. As children of God, we have an obligation to take on His mindset and conform to the image of His Son, which means adopting His standards of right and wrong. We cannot compromise these sin issues. Christians have a duty to see sin as sin and label it as such. We cannot give in or differ from Scripture. We cannot indulge in or support areas of sin. We are separate, not of the world, but of the Light.

Let's move on and define what I mean by love exactly. Christians today errantly use the word "love" in two ways.

1) The hard-core, pound-truth-into-you love.
2) The all-accepting, tolerant love.

Both of these are unbiblical and here's why. First, it's not our place to condemn sinful people. It's our place to show them the truth, but in love! In gentleness and kindness! Shoving the truth down their throats will not help them change or see the sinfulness of their ways. Instead, it may just turn them against Christianity and the shameful hypocrisy of the church. We also were once sinners, stuck in our circular and corrupted mindsets without hope of change, until Christ presented us with a way out of our slavery. It is not our place to condemn them, but to gently show them the truth in humility and gentleness, remembering that we ourselves were no better off, but it's only by Christ's goodness that we now live as children of the one true God.

Secondly, true love does not compromise truth. Tolerance says, "I am fine with what you believe, and even though I think it's wrong, what's right for you is right for you." Tolerant people avoid conflict. They don't want to come across as judgmental, so they suppress their convictions and in doing so smother their conscience and their standard of truth. If something is true, it needs to be lived out in love. Biblical love says, "I love you as a person, and I care about your happiness and wellbeing. However, what you are doing is unacceptable, and I care enough about you to tell you that it's wrong and you desperately need to change. The path you're taking will lead to utter destruction, and I cannot bear to think of you ending up there."

Many Christians today compromise. They don't want to offend their neighbors or friends. They want to demonstrate Christian love, show kindness, and not exhibit hypocrisy or turn others away from Christ by their strict adherence to the rules. They want to support their friends as people with the freedom to choose what to believe.

And that's all correct and good, but there has to be a boundary. There has to be a point where you step back and say, "I'm not giving in anymore. That's definitely wrong".

Let's bring up a practical example. Homosexuality is big in today's culture. What if a friend became publicly gay and sent me a wedding invitation? Would I attend? On one hand, I know that numerous passages in the Old and New Testament clearly state that this practice is disgusting and wicked in God's eyes. However, she still is my friend, and I want her to eventually believe in Christ. By attending, perhaps I'll show that I don't judge her, though she engages in practices contrary to biblical standards.

First of all, Christians should not only not indulge in sin, but should not encourage it. By attending the wedding, I am demonstrating moral support. I am going against my moral values and beliefs. I am sending a message that I approve of this lifestyle and my friend's choice. That despite everything my religion holds, I choose to stand by and celebrate her decision. Now that is in strict contradiction to the Christian faith and does not help support its validity.

For example, let's pretend that we have a friend who's a devout Buddhist and vegetarian. He spends much of his time serving at the temple and praying. You've only seen him eating vegetables, and he always is very vocal about his vegetarian beliefs. So far, you have a pretty good view of Buddhism, due to the moral behavior of this particular friend. But one day, you are both invited to a wedding banquet, and there, you see him eating steak. What would your first reaction be? Wouldn't your noble impression of Buddhism and him as a person crumble?

Paul accused Peter of hypocrisy in the church. When Jews were not present, Peter would eat with the Gentiles, or non-Jewish people of his day. But when the Jews appeared, he would hurriedly switch and avoid eating with Gentiles because he didn't want to be judged by his Jewish companions. He didn't want to offend or make enemies of the Jews, so he tried to look like he shared their beliefs, although in reality, he didn't.

Isn't that the same today? If I believe homosexuality is wrong, but only support that belief in my own private bedroom, isn't that hypocritical? If I'm too scared or ashamed or timid to stand up for my faith and live it out, there's a big problem. And this doesn't just apply to gay weddings. For example, I probably would not attend a marriage between a Christian and a non-Christian because it is unbiblical. Or say if my friends are attending a party or watching a movie or discussing things that are blatantly sinful and dangerous to my values. I would choose to adhere to my personal beliefs and stand up for the truth, whether that will mean missing out on the movie or alienating myself from that particular group.

And this stuff is hard. It really is. I'm guilty too of compromising my beliefs to appear favorable to other people. And it takes guts to stand up for the truth, and it's difficult and dangerous. But more and more, I'm realizing how less salty and less bright our Christians have become in the world today. No wonder people condemn us of hypocrisy, because we don't stand up for our core values. Our faith needs to become reality.

Faith exists to be lived out and practically applied. If faith is not lived out, it is worthless. What is faith for if it is not to be stood up for and defended?

Let's bring up another example, something less controversial. How about Christian friends who turn away from the church? As their friends, we have an obligation to point them back to the truth. However, this doesn't mean we shun them forever or send long emails condemning their wicked ways. We do need to be loving in our approach to reach out to them, but firm. What they have chosen to do is unacceptable and not right, and we need to point out their paths. Perhaps a long talk over coffee will do or an occasional friendly email to check up with them and their beliefs. There are many ways that demonstrate a genuine Christian love without supporting their individual decisions to sin.

Others will argue that standing by truth no matter what will turn others away from Christianity. We are supposed to support people who disagree with us because they have the right to believe whatever they so choose. If we judge them and condemn them with a critical and unyielding spirit, they may become disheartened and completely reject all of Christianity.

And yes, that's true. I do agree we need to love our brothers and sisters, whether they are murderers, liars, or simply non-Christian. Discrimination and persecution due to religious beliefs or practices are unacceptable. However, we cannot approve of their sinful lifestyle. We can love people without approving of their choices.

In fact, love is caring enough to show the other person the truth.

When we stand firm for our beliefs, nonbelievers will more clearly distinguish the truth of our beliefs. If something is true, people will stand by their convictions all the more strongly. And when we demonstrate that our faith is something worth defending, we will shine brighter for our King.

If I had a piece of spinach stuck in my teeth before giving a speech, I would sure hope that my friends would tell me about the problem before I endure eternal humiliation for the remainder of my pitiful existence on earth. Or if I was going to ruin my life through a dangerous relationship, I would certainly appreciate people around me who stopped me from going over the cliff. And how much worse is sin and its devastating consequences of an eternal hell? Don't we care enough for the people around us to live out that truth? To stick by the truth so they can see its reality through us? We owe them that much. At least that much.

Truth is nonnegotiable. And by standing for that truth, we will truly live out our faith and our love to those who need it.

{I would love, love to know your thoughts on this. Send me a message via facebook or email me here: starflower112@gmail.com}

Restraining Pride Through the Cross

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 16:14:00 +0000

Pride.

It seems unconquerable, all-powerful, insatiable. It appears around every corner, at school, at work, at home. Especially at home.

And I am so guilty of this. In my daily devotions, I often examine the day before and confess my sins before the Lord, and in doing so, I realize the many wrong things I've said and done because of pride. Because I find myself so much more interesting or intelligent or godly than other people. Because my interests and my goals are so much more worth achieving. I interrupt. I argue. I use my time in the way I want. I criticize. I am so utterly immersed in myself and my own greatness and so deceive myself.

And it's frustrating. Because whenever I try to get rid of pride through my own actions, my pride increases all the more. When I decide to sacrifice my own self-interests to serve others, I congratulate myself. Pat myself on the back for the humble things I've done. Inflate my own self esteem by doing things that are supposed to humble me and bring me down. To knock off my 5 inch stilettos instead of letting them grow. Now isn't that a paradox?

But other times I ask God for humility in the morning, and my day just flops. Parental lectures, school work problems, friendship issues. And those faceplants hurt. Horribly. It's like God just wrenched off my high heels and left me squirming in the dirt. And it's at those times of spiritual discipline that I can look my pride in the face and see how despicable I've become. So full of myself and arrogant. When God removes my self-worth in school or karate or with my friends, I can see myself as truly empty and helpless. And I need those reminders. I need to be reminded that my worth is found in Christ and all that I am is because of Him and not my own doing. I need faceplants sometimes.

So is there any hope at all? Is there any hope that we can actually see ourselves without being so blinded and requiring God to break us so utterly to remove our rose-tinted glasses?

When Jesus Christ came to the earth as the essence of true humility, He made that choice of meekness available for us.

When I look upon the cross, when I gaze upon those rugged beams of wood nailed together, when I realize the enormity of what Christ did for me, pride's grasp weakens. When I see the extent of my sin and the extent of my wickedness and the extent of my evil heart, I can suddenly remove the veil from my darkened eyes and boast in Christ alone. Boast in what He has done because nothing I've accomplished can even compare or stand up to His amazing grace and goodness and holiness and perfection. My own interests don't matter. What I have to say doesn't matter. What I want to do no longer matters because my life is His and my aim is His and my goal in life is for Him and for His glory.

And that is how I wake up every morning. Acknowledging that I am proud and too full of myself and that God, would You just allow Your Holy Spirit to tell me again of the plan of salvation? Would You just remind me of what Christ did and of His holiness and goodness and of my own incapability to save myself? Will You fill me with an understanding of Your power and help me grasp my own weakness? Help me lean on You today because all that I am is because of You. In Your Name, I trust. Amen.

Holiness - God's Pursuit in this Work-in-Progress for Perfection

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 03:22:00 +0000

Hi.

There are a few things I'd like to say.

First of all, I am far, far from perfect. And I write this, just like I write all the other posts in my blog, not because I can, but because I hope to. Not because these are things I have accomplished, but things I want to accomplish. Writing to me is like. . .bleeding. Often I don't even know what's coming to me until I sit down at my computer and confront myself, cutting myself with the pen so I can finally see deep inside. And the things I see surprise me. The things I write surprise me. Half the things I publish I never truly thought of until God revealed that area in my life through daily devotions, Christian books, sermons, or other Christian friends. So just putting that out there. I am not a super Christian. I don't aim to be. I just want to be that one signpost pointing people to the greatness of my God.

And actually it's a bit paradoxical. The closer I get to my heavenly Father, the farther away from Him I feel. The more I understand and grasp His holiness, the more filthy I find myself and my daily habits. And the more I realize His amazing, incredible, absolutely awesome love for me, I feel incredibly unlovable.

Because when I see how completely holy Christ is in His complete perfection and radiant purity and majestic glory, I cannot help but look down at my own bloodstained rags, torn and drenched in mud and excrement and shudder at the greatness of my sin. The extent of the difference between His holiness and my imperfection. Compared to the greatness and righteousness of Christ, I. . .I am nothing. Worse than nothing. At least nothingness is neutral, yet my sin places me on the negative side of the x-axis. I shudder at myself and wonder how God could love and care for and die for this . . .prostitute.

I remember the book of Hosea and how that faithful prophet lived out Christ's sacrifice to us through his incredible dedication to his prostitute bride. How Hosea continually pursued Gomer, although she fought and struggled and continually lusted after other men, after other things to satisfy her when all that was good and noble and pure was waiting for her, was pursuing her. And how that prostitute resembles all of us. Although the Creator of heaven and earth desired to have a relationship with us, we ran. We fought. We did everything we could to avoid surrendering to the best life possible with the Creator of the universe. And yet He loved us.

When we realize how good God is to us, how He in his purity reached down to love such vile sinners. . .It's just incomprehensible to me. And I have to collapse and cry with the Psalmist, "Who is man that you are mindful of him? Or the son of man that you care for him? For You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor."

And sometimes after staring at God's perfection for a while, it's so easy to become disheartened. So easy to give up and dwell in my own saltwater puddle and stop trying for holiness and feel so utterly disgusted at my own failures. Because I fail every day, every second, and life seems like a losing battle. I cannot do what's right, although I know the right thing to do! And it frustrates me so much, and somedays I just want to throw in the towel, curl into a ball, and cry.

But wait. There's hope. Because although much of our personal sanctification is based on our own obedience and effort, God is working in us. He is pursuing us, not wanting a day to pass without refining our imperfection and removing it and eradicating our sin to make us like His Son. In fact, He promises that He will bring the good work in us to completion, and indeed He will. He is faithful. His promises endure forever, and He never lies.

So hold on. He is working in You. And this work-in-progress business, it's pretty darn rough sometimes. Sometimes it seems impossible and so incredibly disheartening. But it's not. We have a God who created the universe with all its galaxies and atoms, a God who stopped the sun, a God who conquered the grave who is working in us, and He will not let us go until we are completely renewed and holy and perfect for His kingdom. Let that be a promise to you today, tomorrow. As we fight this fight side-by-side, lean on Him. He will carry you through to the end. He is faithful. I'll see you at the finish line, brother.

This is My Father's World - Recognizing God's Sovereignty Through the Tears

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Mon, 30 Sep 2013 19:33:00 +0000

Do you ever feel tired?

A bone-weariness poisoning every thought.

You turn on the TV and once again see death written in between every line. Bombings and terrorist attacks and earthquakes. Or fraud and deceit and the overwhelming discouragement at American politics that seem to go nowhere, accomplish nothing, and yet seem to use more money than we actually possess. The bad guys seem to constantly threaten, constantly take the lead, constantly brutally butcher human bodies and wreck nations and destroy lives. And worse of all, they succeed and prosper while the righteous die and suffer and lose.

Oh, God, where are You? Where are You in this mess of a world? Where are You amidst the suffering and brokenhearted and tears? If You are good, if You are just, will You just look down from Your throne in heaven above and see? Just see the corruption and evil and wickedness! It's so unjust, God. Why do the wicked succeed and grow fat in their sordid wealth when the righteous and the innocent suffer? Why do we deteriorate at the hands of the wicked? How long, oh Lord, will You continue to be blind? How long, oh Lord, will You turn a deaf ear to our pleas?

And I'm wondering that in my devotions, scanning the atom-thick paper to see through for an answer. Trying to discover the whys in this unjust world when lightening suddenly rears its head and God tears my heart apart.

Malachi 3:13-15. “'Your words have been hard against me, says the Lord. But you say, ‘How have we spoken against you?’ You have said, ‘It is vain to serve God. What is the profit of our keeping his charge or of walking as in mourning before the Lord of hosts? And now we call the arrogant blessed. Evildoers not only prosper but they put God to the test and they escape.’”

And I tremble, knowing I have violated a commandment in my indignant, self-righteous anger against the Lord and have pointed my shaking finger at God, directing the blame at the Creator of all that is good and holy and perfect while standing in envy at the success of evildoers.

And who am I? Who am I to question the ways of the Almighty and the perfect way He is running the world? Who is this vile sinner that she should violate and blaspheme the name of the wholly righteous Judge?

And I'm wondering that in church. Standing in between the solid wooden pews, the building carved into solid rock, filled with believers rock-solid in their beliefs, and I am shaking. Trembling. Doubting. Sinking into the sea of whys and gasping for air to fill my lungs and frantically, desperately searching for Jesus, for Jesus to lift me from this death grasp and enable me to trust. And worship songs fly from my lips, while the entire time I am feeling hypocritical. Singing about trusting God and living for Him and praising Him when all that is within me is angry and miserable. When inside I am raising my fist at God above, crying to Him to do something. I am not still. My soul is not well. What is this hypocrisy? And there is this inner war, this brutal death struggle within me while worship fills the air around me.

And then I come alive.

This is my Father's world

Oh let me ne'er forget

That though the wrong seems oft so strong,

God is the Ruler yet.

This is my Father's world!

Why should my heart be sad?

The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!

God reigns; let the earth be glad!

I can hear my voice, ringing through the wood and worship, singing loud, singing free. I have forgotten. Forgotten that though the world may appear out of control and disastrous, God is in control. He knows what He is doing. He has a perfect plan. And He will judge the world. He will not let the wicked remain unpunished forever, and justice will reign. Yet He is a gracious God, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

The prophets knew this. Just ask Habakkuk. The whole book is basically my same question paraphrased. How long, oh Lord? How long? And God answered Habakkuk by reminding him of who He was.

A holy God, who will judge the world regarding sin and righteousness.

A just God, who will not let the wicked go unpunished.

A Sovereign God, who will purify and sanctify and remove the evil among and amidst and within us.

And Habakkuk responded with praise, thankful that God was in control and in awe of God's glory and holiness and power.

And so I can praise Him, knowing He has a plan. Knowing He is King over the flood. Knowing He is mighty to save and my Deliverer and indescribable and my strong tower and a Friend of sinners.

Forgive me, Jesus. Forgive me for doubting. Forgive me for raising my fist against what You have created and supported and caused to happen here on earth. I want to trust You. Oh Lord, strengthen my faith in You.

Suffering: The Ultimate Blessing

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sat, 21 Sep 2013 18:51:00 +0000

Have you ever prayed for suffering? Prayed for bruised knees and broken hearts and persecution? Prayed to be uncomfortable and hated and martyred?

Death for Christ would be the greatest honor. To not only surrender our lives, but our deaths to Him. That would be the ultimate, ultimate privilege. To be able to die for my King and give my complete all for His glorification, so that even in my death, people can see the validity and greatness of my God in this broken body.

A false teacher invades the church today, whispering lies, boxing us inside our cramped comfort zones, limiting us because we cannot stand emotional pain, criticism, or ridicule. So often our lives sit on the shelf, gathering dust, because we are afraid to suffer. Afraid to take that cross upon ourselves and risk losing happiness, comfort, friendships. We run from hardship. We run from pain. We run because we love our lives too much to give up anything for God.

And this selfishness, this personal clenching of fists, is far from biblical. Suffering is not a burden or punishment, but a gift. An opportunity to mature and grow and lean ever closer to our dear Savior. A chance to become more like the One who made us. Suffering breaks us because we need to be broken, for only when we are broken and humbled can we truly, fully rely on Christ and say, "Your will be done". And suffering frees our death grip from ourselves and our possessions. It opens our tense fists and shapes our shaking fingers to open palms lifted high, begging Christ to come down and fill the cross-shaped hole within us.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

The only way we can grow into sanctification is through hardship.

Through trials and the brutal testing of our faith, we can become perfect. Complete. Lacking in nothing. What goodness is this? That we can be complete, mature, holy. That we can be perfect to the One who commands and upholds all perfection.

Stars require the darkness of night to twinkle radiantly through the emptiness of space. In brilliant sunshine, stars cannot be distinguished among the other things that shine and glitter. But when distractions are removed, when the sunshine and blessings of life are suddenly obliterated, when all falsity is torn away and all that remains is raw soul, then can we become purified. And suffering does that. It tears away the things we hold dear, desecrating our personal idols and showing us the hypocrisy we live in. It reveals our personal need for Christ and causes His qualities to mature within us. Qualities like patience and joy and kindness and love. Qualities that He lived and died for.

And gold becomes refined in fire, the impurities dripping away in the heat of the flames. And so it is fitting. As the bellows roar and rage in searing insanity, throughout the craziness and harshness and bleakness of life, we are made holy into Christ's likeness. Although troubles and hardships beat at us and hammer away on these near broken hearts, only then are impurities and dross eradicated. Only then can purity be revealed and developed. Through the fire. Through the flames.

Because of this, we need to praise God through the darkness, learn to appreciate the dirt and the flames. Because all this is good. Good for us. And just like children cannot tolerate vegetables or vitamins or shots or things that are necessary for health, we also shrink from anything that causes pain, not realizing that pain only lasts for a little while, while holiness and godly character last for eternity.

Suffering is vital to our spiritual maturity.

"Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

We should run towards suffering, embrace it because it produces perfection and character and hope.

It's ironic, isn't it? That God would use the seemingly evil and wrong and dark to bring out the light in us that we might shine ever brighter for our King? But hasn't He always chosen the weak to shame the strong, the humble for greatness? That even in the moments when we cannot see the light, we cannot see the hope in the midst of this great darkness, hope is being developed in us. God's hope shines even more brightly in the darkness, drawing us to Him, so His hope can shine on in us.

And that's why God uses suffering. So He can shine through the darkness ever more brightly and glory might be brought to His Name. He is glorified when we honor Him through our suffering. When we act in godly response to hardship and persecution, the strength and goodness and sovereignty of God are ever more visible. For example, the standing endurance and perseverance of fellow Christians in the midst of physical illness or spiritual difficulties are testimonies of God and His truth. If God were not real, enduring such tribulations would be near impossible. But when we can praise Him through the storm, when we can sing His praises even when everything is stripped away, He is glorified.

Also, during the pain and night-blindness and tears, we do not walk alone. Not only does Christ promise to sanctify us with suffering, He promises that He will always and forever be beside us, not allowing us to endure more than we can handle. And isn't that simply amazing? That we can receive patience and endurance and strength. That we can cry on His shoulder and lean on Him for the next step, for the next second.

And suddenly the darkness doesn't seem quite so bleak, nor the fire so intense. For what do we fear once that God above is beside us? He is sovereign over all things, the Creator of the world and omnipotent. What shall I fear? Struggles or pain or suffering or tears or heartache? No. Never. When God alone rules over struggles, works through pain, uses suffering, wipes away tears, and heals heartache, shall we resist Him?

And I pray for suffering. Pray that my faith might be tested and strengthened and purified. For with my God beside me, with my God ever near me, I have the strength to walk through flames.

Oh, God. Make me cherish suffering. Make me open and unresistant to the work of Your Holy Spirit in my heart. Make me like You. Whatever the cost, Lord, use me to glorify Your Name.

What Is Man's Primary Purpose?

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sat, 14 Sep 2013 21:00:00 +0000

To glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.

Those of you who have recited the Westminster Catechism as a child probably have this phrase engraved in your memory. From the early years of Sunday School, my parents have diligently quizzed me to learn these basic theological principles. But now that I finally have the words inscribed in my brain, what do they actually mean? How can we truly live out our lives for the glory of God? What does enjoying Him look like in our daily lives? I recognize that this is an incredibly deep theological issue. I'm far from a theologian, and I'm not even going to attempt to scratch the surface. If you want more information, Desiring God by John Piper can probably provide deeper insight (that's one of the books on my want-to-read list). All I aim to accomplish through this post is to discover some simple ways to apply this to our everyday lives, so we can live the lives God intended us to live.

So first, the glorification of God. I think Christians should be obsessed with bringing Him praise and glory. Starved and famished and eager to glimpse His awesomeness, and thrilled to bearers of His goodness. And not only in the big things, but in the little details of life, like His creation and the tiny blessings that surround us everyday. We should be fervent to seek out His wondrous deeds, passionate about His magnificence. And when we see examples of His glory, we should readily share our findings with each other and the world, to direct the spotlight from ourselves to Christ.

Like today in my Physics textbook, I discovered the principle of equilibrium and the balancing of forces. It's incredible really, how our world is shaped by the laws of nature and how often we overlook the fact of God's amazing, incredibly detailed design. Without His foresight and encompassing knowledge to map out these physical laws, our life on earth would not be the same. Or when I flip open World Magazine and witness the amazing ministries God's people are developing around the globe today and the lives that are being transformed by their effective testimony for Him. And our Sovereign Creator really is just so great, and what He is doing is absolutely amazing. Just the other day, I gazed out the window at lunch and admired how the sunlight illuminated the green of the leaves. God's creation really is so beautiful, and how often I overlook it in the busy-ness of my everyday life. Everything fairly shouts His praise and proclaims His power. Shouldn't we also?

God, You are amazing. Incredible. I can't comprehend Your majesty. And You are so good to me. Often I don't give you enough glory and praise for the little things in my life and the things You are doing around the globe. Will You please reveal Your glory to me?

And I look around and want to see. Thirst to see. To crave His glory in this world, not only in the physical realm but in the spiritual realm. I open up His word to see His praise scrawled in between every line, His glorious deeds and promises to His people. His faithfulness in the past, and His dazzling plan for the future. And it's glorious. God is glorious. So deserving of all the praise we could ever give.

Yet praise is beyond thankfulness and recognition. Both are commended, but praise goes beyond just feeling grateful and the acknowledgement that all good things come from God. It points us to the Source of that gratefulness and the attributes in Him that provide the blessings we enjoy.

Thank You, Lord, for You are holy and just, and You promise to punish and remove all sin and evil on this earth and in me. Thank You for the work of Your Holy Spirit purifying and cleansing me.

Thank You, Lord, for You are also forgiving and patient with us. We sin and fail so many times, but Your mercy is new every morning. Thank You for Your mercy towards us.

Thank You, Lord, for You are Sovereign over all things, and nothing on earth happens outside of Your will. Thank You for being in control of my life. I trust You, God.

Giving God glory is not only acknowledging His presence and goodness in our lives, but enjoying His characteristics and qualities.

Which brings us to the second point. The enjoyment of God.

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him," writes John Piper in the book Let the Nations Be Glad!. (A must-read!)

You see, the two are predominantly linked. When we enjoy God and find true satisfaction in Him, then He is glorified through us. By recognizing His goodness and delighting ourselves with all He has accomplished, we can bring more honor and praise to His name.

He is worthy of all glory, and when we recognize that, when we acknowledge His greatness, He is glorified.

And enjoyment comes not only through the seeking of His glory around us, but in contentment with Christ and His promises. And this is difficult stuff. I myself can hardly even begin to put this into practice, and writing this post is terribly convicting! I often find myself coveting material goods, worldly practices, freedom to sin, you name it. Instead of being satisfied with the blessings that God has given us and the promises and love and grace and strength He provides, I look to other things and other people for satisfaction. Instead of being satisfied with who He is, I seek satisfaction from the world and other people.

It would be a lie to say that I am wholly satisfied with God.

But I can begin to put aside the idols inside of me, to knock down my Asherah poles. To remove the temptations and distractions from my heart. And not only that, but to try to obtain a fuller understanding of His goodness. Often I think that it's because of my inadequate view of His goodness to us that I turn aside from the path and seek other things. When we fully grasp His holiness and His love for us and the things He has in store for our lives, we will not so readily desert our Heavenly Father for the cheap trinkets of this world.

A continual study in the Word will allow God's precedence in our lives and provide a true understanding of the blessings we have in Him.

And this is deep stuff. I know people have written extensive books on this topic, and it's like the ocean. Mind-blowingly deep. And there's so much more to be said, so much more to apply from this one area alone. I can't even begin to expose all the layers underneath, let alone understand it all thoroughly. But I can attempt to begin with the little things. Try to seek His glory and try to satisfy myself in Him. And as I attempt to glorify my Heavenly Father, attempt to seek full satisfaction in Him alone, will you try with me?

Father God, enable me to glorify You today. I am so frail and weak, and I make so many mistakes, but will You just use this feeble human being to bring some glory and honor to Your name today? I want others to see how great You are. Let me be Your lighthouse, Your signpost, Your salt and light here on earth. Jesus, use me to show the people around me of Your goodness and love. Help me reflect who You are, so people can see how truly amazing my God is. Holy Spirit, work through me. Help me be truly satisfied in You, so that I will no longer hunger for the things of this world but be able to fully quench my thirst in You and direct others to the living water found in You alone. I love you, Lord. Strengthen me.

I Don't Support Christian Pessimism

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 10 Sep 2013 04:32:00 +0000

That's a pretty harsh, in your face kind of statement. But it's true. Sure, there are people more easily swayed towards pessimism, those like me, always vigilant and attentive towards that one particular gray cloud in the sky. But just like homosexuality or theft or immorality, God never permits us to yield to inner desires contrary to His will. Pessimism is a choice to sin, and God calls every Christian to throw off discontentment in order to give thanks.

So no, I don't think Christian pessimists should exist. Unfortunately, Christians are also sinners, and sinners like me often fail. For example, the brainchild of pessimism. Complainers.

I'm living evidence of a complainer. Bawling my head off about the rain or the president or other people. This one kid who said this. . .Hey, this stupid website doesn't work. . .There's only leftovers for lunch! That's pessimism for you. People always have good qualities. Opportunities to learn patience are gifts from the Lord. And we should never take food for granted. Although I may disagree with others or fail to appreciate certain decisions, like with President Obama, that's not an excuse for me to grumble.

When I specifically focus on the problems in life, instead of the many blessings straight from heaven above; when all are problems and problems are all, how can I refrain that voice of mine from trumpeting up to heaven above, voicing my complaints, so all can sympathize and know how absolute miserable I am? It's impossible not to when everything around me has so many visible holes and cracks.

Not only does the Bible instruct us to focus on what is good and acceptable and perfect and to give thanks in all circumstances, but it also condemns complaining.

Great. Broken three rules with one stone. Guilty.

Have you ever been asked, "If you had to choose, what food would you pick to eat for the rest of your life?" ? And to be honest, I never know. Because no matter how much I thoroughly love something, like bread pudding or sushi or carne asada for example, I could never eat it straight 3 meals a day for a week. Never ever. You'd hear me complaining at the end of the second day. Or maybe the first, who knows. At this point, I always remember the Israelites in the Bible. They ate manna for 40 long years while wandering in the desert, for goodness sake! If that had been me, I would have been grumbling before and after every meal. If not externally, then internally. I can surely sympathize. Yet, God never let them off or condoned them. Instead He rebuked His people and disciplined them for their ingratitude.

You see, God doesn't encourage pessimists. Pessimists are people who willingly choose to focus on the bad, who search for the blemishes and blots in every aspect of their life. It's a choice. Our Creator commands us specifically to forsake complaints and give thanks in all circumstances. He commands us to see the good in life.

Why though? Why would we willingly seek and run after the little stains? If you really take time to think about it, why would anyone readily choose to direct their attention through the sunshine and thrillingly lightning bolts and majestic thunder to the gloomy corners full of spiders and mice droppings? If I arrived at one of the most expensive banquets on earth, complete with escargot and eclairs and eel and all that fancy stuff that start with e's, and chose to focus on the one little tear on the edge of my linen napkin, chose to complain to the manager and ask for my money back, wouldn't you find me ridiculous?

That's exactly how Adam and Eve fell from paradise. Because of discontentment. Desiring more than what they already grasped in their hands. They lived in paradise, without sin or death or evil. They had each other and an incredibly personal relationship with the Father, to the point of daily walks beside Him in the garden. And yet, when Satan held out that fruit, tempting them with the lie that they could become like God Himself, they caved. They grabbed that fruit of discontentment and rejection and covetousness and ate, the juice of rebellion dripping down their very chins. And so their world drastically changed, bringing with it dark red pain and seared black sin. And that fruit lives on in us today, in the very blood that courses through our veins. Pessimism channeling through us.

Then how can I say that we are not made pessimists?

Because we have been remade. The old has gone, the new has come. We are no longer our old selves, slaves to sin and greed and lust and the addiction of wanting more. True, our sin nature still battles within, but the blood in us is Christ's. Our thirst and the hole within has been filled. We have His life and strength and grace flowing through us, providing healing and mercy for our everyday lives. He shed His blood, so His righteousness would live on in our arteries. When God on high looks down on us sinners here on earth, He sees Christ's purity soaking into our every atom and is satisfied. And not only was Christ pure and empowers us to be pure, but He gave thanks. He broke bread and glorified His Heavenly Father. And He commands us and enables us to do the same. His blood flows through us, reviving us, equipping us to live in eucharisteo.

If Christ, who is the manifestation of everything good, could find God's goodness in this desolate world to give thanks for, can't we?

And I look around, counting on my fingers the blessings in this very room. The seeable. The unseeable.

Make me thankful, Lord.

A Soldier Cannot Stand Alone: The Importance of Christian Fellowship

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 03 Sep 2013 04:32:00 +0000

Imagine a single soldier, dressed in proper uniform with a machine gun slung over one shoulder. He rises from the muddy trenches, body painfully alert, and marches straight for the enemy a few thousand yards ahead. The rest of his comrades huddle together in the trenches with bated breath, nervous for their own turn. Their own execution, the guillotine slicing down by their own trembling hand. The enemy stand smirking ahead, thousands of men facing a lone soldier.

Obviously, this is suicide. He will die, without accomplishing anything of worth. Anyone can see that. But that soldier on his self-destructive mission was me.

Before this summer, I was proud, overconfident in myself and my beliefs. I simply enjoyed Christian fellowship for the sake of fellowship and laughs and refreshments. Never in the world would I have admitted that I needed it for spiritual growth, for the spiritual vivacity of my own life. But I was so, so wrong! During this flash-flood of a summer, I gradually came to realize my need for good, solid Christian fellowship for the furthering of spiritual growth.

First of all, in July, I attended Worldview Academy, a Christian camp that trains youth in biblical leadership and apologetics. Before I went, I thought myself to be a veteran Christian, solid in beliefs and convictions. I thought that I could mature by myself without the input or advice of other believers. I thought I was good enough. But when I arrived at Worldview, I encountered giants of the Christian faith, people who were truly superglued in their convictions and desire to serve Christ. Their love for Jesus and for each other was extremely evident in the way they served each other and welcomed me into their community. I built incredible friendships with incredible Christians, and the conversations we had triggered a raging spiritual hunger inside of me. My mouth watered. I was hooked. Never had I perceived so clearly the extent of my dissatisfaction of my own humble cooking of Eggo and frozen dumplings. I knew then that I needed rock-solid, concrete Christian friends as my reinforcements and supports, to provide the life-giving steak and potatoes that get me through the minefields of life.

Then, I flew into a rather distressing time period in my life, complete with sleepless nights and puffy eyes and gallons of tears. God utterly and deliberately broke me, I can see that now. He had a glorious plan through the sea of pain, but during that moment, I felt so alone and furiously angry and hurt. And during that time, I poured out my heart to a few dear friends, and I am so incredibly thankful for them. A simple "how are you doing today?" motivated and encouraged me. Their beautiful hearts and care and love for me was the strength I lacked to get up from bed sometimes. And again, I realized that I cannot traverse this life alone. That I really am not strong enough or good enough or capable enough. I need people in my life, emboldening me, guiding me towards godliness in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Once again, the Lord taught me dependence on other believers at the annual Living Hope Bible Church Labor Day Retreat. We had the opportunity to listen to various sessions about making decisions and the will of God from Dr. Greg Koukl. And many times, I just could not grasp the concept or understand the messages. Frustrating, right? But there was always, always someone to ask. Someone who sacrificed a few minutes of free time to listen, to answer and understand me. And I realized how much I appreciated the practical wisdom and guidance of older and wiser brothers and sisters in Christ.

And the more I grow, the more I understand that we're all in this together (cue the song). That I need these godly influences in my life. That I cannot do this by myself. And the more I look around me, the more I notice the innumerable occasions where I have grown through the helping hand of other believers in Christ.

And I am so grateful. For the opportunities to ask questions, to learn, to grow among people I admire so much, whether in the church or other Christian environments. For the sense of family and trust and community. For even simple activities like playing board games together or sharing laughs over Truth or Dare Spoons. For the adults and older teens who reach down through the barriers of age and experience to understand us youth. For people who care. There's so many names I could name, and I am so incredibly thankful. I am thankful for this unity. I am thankful that I can be part of such a beautiful family. And I am so thankful for this little bit of heaven that I can experience here on earth.

When You're Dead Tired of This Mess

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sat, 24 Aug 2013 03:29:00 +0000

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart

That’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause I’m worn

("Worn" - Tenth Avenue North)

Some days erode me. Rub down my edges until I am nothing but a round pebble, unable to cut myself free from life's tangled mess that threatens to strangle all this blessed life from my lungs.

I cannot breathe.

All this sin. All this death. All these tears.

Oh, God, I am so very tired. I am so tired of heaving myself out of bed each morning, of grappling these spiritual battles, of wrestling the Mr. Hyde in me. I am tired of facing the altar and permitting Your Holy Spirit to cut my heart open once again to unveil the darkness inside. Open heart surgery hurts. This purging of sin hurts. And attempting to live for You and Your glory by shouldering this leaden cross hurts.

And oh, God, I am so tired of seeing this mess in the world of fighting and murders and catastrophes. I am so tired of seeing criminals day after day who sense no shame at committing the indescribable. I am so tired of seeing people die in their guilt-soaked selves while they raise their fists and curse God without even meeting the God they curse.

Oh, God, this world is broken. And I am tired of trying to heal it all by myself.

I flip open the Bible to John 14, the passage I always turn to for comfort when I cannot stand any longer.

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”

This life is not for forever. This mess of violence and heartache will not last for eternity. This removal of sin and continual purification will end. I have a predetermined place in heaven. A one-way ticket to live with my blessed, blessed Savior. I will never have to leave Him. Oh, to be with the One who loves me so unconditionally for infinity! And Christ is preparing heaven for me, perfecting it for my arrival. Christ is coming to take me to be with Him forever and ever, to live with my God and my King who died for this broken heart of mine. And there will be no more tears, no more death, no more pain. And He will reign victorious, and I will be part of His glorious reign. Hallelujah.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it."

Christ promises to accomplish His work through me, to use this broken soul for His glorious, triumphant plan, to do magnificent works in the lives of others like Christ Himself. Who am I to be part of His ministry? That I have been integrated into His will? Oh, God, I am undeserving. You are too good to me. And all I desire is to be part of Your plan. To be able to bring You glory because that is the utmost of man. To bring You as much glory as we possibly can because You are so deserving of all the praise and honor in this world.

"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him. These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you."

The Holy Spirit dwells in me. God Himself dwells in me. Wow. I am not alone, for God Himself, the Creator of heaven and earth, the Savior of the world, and the Sustainer of the universe lives in this broken clay vessel. Who is man that you are mindful of him or the son of man that you care for him? You are too good to me. And the world cannot understand. They continue to relish injustice and sin because they do not know there's something better out there. They cannot understand the workings of the Holy One. One day, I will live with Him, away from the sinfulness of the world. And if I love God, if I surrender to my blessed Redeemer, God the Father and God the Son promise to love me. They promise to show their glory to this sinful soul. And I cannot help but feel incredibly loved. That the God of the universe would look down and love and care for this vile sinner down on earth. Thank You, Jesus.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. You heard me say to you, ‘I am going away, and I will come to you.’ If you loved me, you would have rejoiced, because I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. And now I have told you before it takes place, so that when it does take place you may believe. I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming. He has no claim on me, but I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father."

I don't need to worry about or fear this brokenness of a world. Jesus provides me with His peace because He is stronger than the prince of the world or any of his minions, and His justice will ultimately rule. His Word stands true, for Christ ascended to heaven to claim victory over death and now rules in His divine kingdom, awaiting the time when we can arise and live with Him forever.

I can breathe again. And I breathe. I cannot contain the smile any longer, and I smile. God's promises are beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful! I shout to the world. Look at how amazing my God is! Look at how He can redeem even a broken sinner like me and inject life into my limp veins until I can fairly implode with His glory! And I can live! I can live because I have a God who lives in me and I can spend eternity with Him forever. And I rise from my bruised knees and I stand with hands lifted high.

How great is our God.