Joy 'N' Escapade

What I Can't Unsee After Watching The Conjuring and Insidious Movies

2026-11-07T16:02:22.366+08:00

The Conjuring vs. Insidious

While rewatching movies from the The Conjuring and Insidious universes, I noticed a recurring pattern involving the haunted families.

What stood out was the franchises' approach to their supernatural storylines, particularly when it comes to gender representation.

So many daughters in The Conjuring movies!

The Perron family in The Conjuring (first movie in the franchise) has five daughters. The Hodgson family in The Conjuring 2 has two daughters and two sons (although Janet becomes the main focus), and the Smurl family in Last Rites (technically The Conjuring 4) has four daughters!

Then there's the first Annabelle movie, which revolves around Mia, a young mother, and her baby daughter, Leah. In Annabelle: Creation, the movie revolves around a group of six orphaned girls and a nun. In Annabelle Comes Home, three girls dominate the storyline.

And let's not forget The Nun, where the main character is Sister Irene, while the evil entity, Valak, takes the form of a terrifying nun. Although this isn't about a family with daughters, it's another example of how female characters dominate the supernatural storytelling.

The Perron, Hodgson, and Smurl families are real people with really that many daughters, so the producers didn't actually invent their family compositions.

Still, when I see so many daughters, young girls and women repeatedly becoming central to the hauntings, it makes me wonder why the franchise seems to gravitate towards these storylines.

Insidious seemed to revolve around a father and son

Meanwhile, Insidious, particularly the Lambert family storyline spanning the first, second and fifth movies, revolves around a father and son, Josh and Dalton, who both become targets of supernatural forces.

Then again, Insidious doesn't seem entirely male-centred, especially when the franchise explores the past of psychic Elise and introduces other haunted female characters.

But the contrast is rather striking, isn't it? Why does one horror universe repeatedly return to mothers and daughters, while another builds much of its identity around fathers and sons?

I'm not a movie critic or enthusiast, and this isn't meant to be some serious analysis of gender representation in horror movies. It's simply something that caught my attention while rewatching these films. And now that I've noticed it, I can't seem to unsee it! Haha.

My Midlife Brain, ChatGPT and the Myth of Intellectual Superiority

2026-11-04T14:23:34.657+08:00

The midlife brain is a fascinating phenomenon.

On some days, I feel like my brain is somewhere in the dumps or down the drain. There's this layer of fog, and while I know what I want to say, finding the right words and putting everything into coherent sentences can feel unnecessarily difficult.

That's when ChatGPT comes in handy. I have the thoughts and ideas, but I need help organising them into something that actually makes sense.

On other days, my mind is incredibly clear. In fact, sometimes it's racing so fast that I have multiple lines of thought running simultaneously, and they all seem to get tangled up into one giant ball.

Again, ChatGPT comes in handy. This time, not because I can't think clearly, but because I have so many thoughts that I need help untangling them, connecting the dots and making sense of everything.

I'm still the same person, who functions with the same brain, but on different days, I'm facing different challenges. Welcome to (peri)menopause.

And this brings me to...

What I notice on LinkedIn lately.

I've come across some posts where people declare that their writing is entirely AI-free. Some even question those who use generative AI to produce beautifully written postings.

This makes me wonder. Since when did NOT using AI become a measure of intellectual superiority?

Don't get me wrong. If you enjoy writing everything yourself, that's wonderful.

What I find questionable is the implied notion that people who use AI are somehow less authentic, less capable or less intellectually competent.

Here's what I think the discussion should be.

There are different ways of using AI.

1. Outsourcing thinking: Asking AI to generate opinions or arguments you barely understand, then publishing them without questioning or evaluating the output.

2. Augmenting thinking: Using AI to challenge your assumptions, explore different perspectives, identify weaknesses in your arguments or help untangle complicated thoughts.

3. Supporting communication: Having your own ideas but using AI to improve the clarity, structure, grammar or flow of how you express them.

The above describes how I think about the different ways people use AI. You may have a different opinion; that's fine.

Personally, I find myself moving between augmenting thinking and supporting communication, depending on what my brain decides to do that day.

At the same time, of course I don't dismiss that AI-generated content comes with legitimate concerns about accuracy, originality and accountability.

But what I'm referring to in this case is about ordinary, day-to-day social media posts, not academic publications or research papers.

Come to think of it...

People have been using editors, proofreaders, ghostwriters and communications teams for decades. Even executives have speeches and thought-leadership articles written or polished by others, yet we don't automatically question their intellectual capabilities.

We generally accept that the person behind the ideas doesn't necessarily have to be the one crafting every single word.

Here's what I find interesting. If a human editor helps improve my writing, it's perfectly acceptable. Yet when AI does the same thing, suddenly my intellectual credibility is questionable?

Hmm...

Stop the intellectual judgement.

A post written entirely without AI can still be generic, poorly reasoned or completely devoid of substance.

To be fair, a beautifully written AI-assisted post doesn't automatically mean the person behind it has nothing original to contribute.

I don't think using AI makes someone intellectually inferior, just as refusing to use AI doesn't make someone intellectually superior.

In my opinion, what matters is whether you can think critically, articulate your position and take ownership of what you publish.

At the end of the day, I still can defend the thoughts and opinions as mine, and I remain responsible for whatever I choose to put out there.

ChatGPT helps me find the words when my brain is foggy on certain days or untangle the 101 thoughts running through my head on other days. And occasionally, it challenges me enough to make me reconsider what I thought I knew.

Does that make me intellectually inferior to someone who doesn't use AI?

I certainly don't think so.

We should stop judging people's intellectual capabilities based on the tools they use and start paying more attention to the substance of what they're actually saying.

Michael Olise Got Me Thinking. Perhaps I Care Too Much About What Others Think

2026-10-31T23:00:00.000+08:00

First, it was Harry Kane who inspired me to reflect on parenting. Now, it's Michael Olise who's got me thinking about work and, well, myself. Haha.

I've been rather amused by the attention surrounding Olise lately, particularly his nonchalant attitude towards interviews, publicity and marketing.

In September 2026, his remarkably brief post-match interview went viral. When asked how he scored such brilliant goals, he essentially replied that he shoots and the ball either goes in or doesn't.

Hahaha!

Here's a footballer who seems perfectly comfortable being himself. He doesn't appear particularly interested in impressing anyone or explaining himself more than necessary.

Of course, being a professional footballer comes with responsibilities beyond playing football. I believe he understands that, and from what I've read, his club and he are working towards fulfilling those expectations.

But what I find refreshing is that he doesn't seem to feel the need to completely change his personality just to fit everyone's expectations.

And that got me thinking.

The Uncomfortable Part of Being in Management

Recently, I've had to make some difficult decisions and initiate uncomfortable conversations at work. I've always believed that trust comes from consistency, accountability and demonstrated behaviour. I also believe people deserve opportunities to learn, improve and prove themselves. I blogged about my experience here: Competence, Likeability and Trust Are Three Different Things.

But I'd be lying if I said I never questioned myself afterwards.

Did I handle that correctly? Was I too harsh? Did I ruffle a few feathers unnecessarily? What if my judgement was wrong? I spoke about my reactions on my LinkedIn post.

I got to say that I've started seeing some encouraging changes. Yet, even with these positive developments, I sometimes find myself revisiting those uncomfortable conversations and wondering whether I could have done things differently.

Maybe I Care Too Much About What Others Think

Perhaps that's why Olise fascinates me.

Not because I want to become indifferent to what people think. I still care about how my decisions affect others, and I certainly don't believe that having good intentions automatically makes every decision right.

But I'm beginning to realise that I don't need to constantly justify myself or seek reassurance that everyone agrees with my approach.

I can be firm and still be fair. I can trust my judgement and still be open to being wrong. I can acknowledge where I need to improve without feeling that I have to change who I am entirely.

And perhaps I can learn to be a little more comfortable with the possibility that not everyone will understand or agree with me.

I Guess I Just Need A Little Less Second-Guessing

After all, the goal isn't to be liked by everyone. It's to do my job responsibly, make informed decisions and remain willing to learn.

So, thank you, Michael Olise, for this rather unexpected reminder.

Well, well, well. Who would have thought I'd be getting life lessons from footballers lately? 😂⚽

A Parenting Reflection Inspired by Harry Kane's Ballon d'Or Win

2026-10-29T00:13:21.918+08:00

Harry Kane won the 2026 Men's Ballon d'Or!

Many football fans were genuinely happy for him. Some even commented that Kane's win felt like Robert Lewandowski and all the other deserving footballers who had never won the award were finally getting their moment too.

I thought that was quite an intriguing sentiment.

Source: meetunnadkat

But what really got me thinking was my youngest son telling me that he was thrilled Harry Kane won.

Now, I don't know exactly why he was so happy. Maybe he simply likes Kane as a footballer. But knowing my boy and the challenges he faces, particularly with his physical stature, I wonder whether he sees a little bit of himself in Kane's story.

Not Every Child Is a Messi or Lamine Yamal

Let's be realistic. Footballers like Lionel Messi and Lamine Yamal are extremely rare. They are exceptional talents who were already attracting attention at a very young age.

Most children who love football are not going to be like them. And that's okay.

My youngest son loves football. He does face challenges with his physical stature, whereby he's considerably smaller than many children his age.

In football, physical stature does matter. Of course, there are smaller players who are technically brilliant, but when you're a child playing against other children who are taller, stronger and faster, the physical differences can be quite obvious.

I'm not going to pretend otherwise. Just like many other children who play the sport, he needs to put in a lot of effort to become better.

But he enjoys football. And as his mother, I think that's a good enough reason to continue supporting his interest.

Harry Kane Didn't Exactly Have a Glorious Start

One of the things I find interesting about Kane's career is that he wasn't always considered a promising footballer.

He was released by Arsenal's academy when he was a young boy. He was also reportedly smaller than many of his teammates during his early years.

Even after joining Tottenham Hotspur, he didn't immediately become a superstar. He went through several loan spells at Leyton Orient, Millwall, Norwich City and Leicester City before finally establishing himself at Tottenham.

If you look at his career now, it's easy to forget that there was a time when he wasn't necessarily the player everyone expected to succeed.

You can read about his story on this IG post and this one too.

Of course, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Now that Kane has won the Ballon d'Or, we can look back at his journey and talk about perseverance, determination and hard work.

But imagine being his parents when he was eight or nine years old and Arsenal decided he wasn't good enough for their academy.

At that point, nobody could have known that he would eventually become one of the world's best strikers.

His father apparently encouraged him to keep playing football instead of treating the rejection as the end of the road.

I think that's the part of Kane's story that resonates most with me as a parent.

Because when your child is still young, you really don't know how things will turn out.

Being Smaller Doesn't Mean He Should Have Fewer Opportunities

This is probably the most personal part of the story for me.

Because of my son's growth challenges, I'm very conscious of the fact that he may not be able to compete physically with some of his peers, at least for now. And yes, it does concern me sometimes.

I don't want him to become discouraged simply because other children are bigger or stronger. Neither do I want him to believe that being physically smaller means he's automatically less capable.

But I also have to be realistic.

There will be situations where physical differences put him at a disadvantage. There may be opportunities that he doesn't get, or teams that he doesn't make.

I can't protect him from every disappointment.

What I can do is make sure that I don't become another person who limits him before he's even had the chance to try.

If he wants to play football, let him play. If he needs extra practice, we'll find ways to help him. If he struggles with something, we'll work on it.

And if one day he decides that football is no longer something he wants to pursue, that's fine too.

I don't want to decide his future based on how tall he is today.

Interestingly, Kane has spoken about being one of the smaller players when he was young before going through a growth spurt.

Now, I'm not saying my son will follow the same path. His growth challenges are something we're addressing separately, and every child's development is different.

But it is a useful reminder that children develop differently, physically and in terms of their abilities.

What we see at nine or ten years old isn't necessarily what we'll see at fifteen or twenty.

So yes, I'm happy Harry Kane won the Ballon d'Or too.

Not because I expect my son to follow in his footsteps, but because Kane's story is a reminder that not everyone starts out as the obvious favourite.

And as parents, perhaps we should be a little more patient with children who need more time to find their footing.

After all, we're raising children, not scouting for the next Ballon d'Or winner. Haha.

Harry Kane's Men's Ballon d'Or Win Speech

The part of his speech that I find meaningful:

"For any young boy or girl wanting to achieve their dreams, anything is possible with hard work when no one else is watching. To go through the ups and downs, to learn through resilience, determination and self-belief. Like I said, anything is possible.

My journey, it wasn't straightforward. I wasn't the kid who went straight to the top. I had to experience the downs. I experienced a lot of long moves. I had to fight my way to be the very best right now, and hope that can give you inspiration as well."

- Harry Kane -

Can ChatGPT Be My Personal Stylist? A Plus-Size Petite Experiment

2026-10-23T18:15:07.142+08:00

Have You Heard of Personal Styling?

About 6 or 7 years ago, I had a personal colour consultation with a personal stylist friend, who told me I belonged to the Warm Spring colour season.

Now it is late 2026, and I start to wonder whether that assessment still applies because I'm now older and heavier. Haha.

And while we're at it, could ChatGPT help me figure out my personal style without having to engage another stylist?

So, I decided to run an experiment using AI.

Now I'm a Sage and a Mystic.

Wait, what is this? ChatGPT started the analysis by pointing me to the feminine archetypes questionnaire on Traitprint, which categorises personality characteristics into 12 archetypes.

My results were pretty interesting.

The Sage: Wisdom, clarity and quiet authority.
The Mystic: Intuition, depth and the inner world.
The Lover, Rebel, Queen and Huntress: A four-way tie for the next position.

I wasn't particularly surprised by Sage. I do enjoy questioning things, understanding how they work and looking for evidence before drawing conclusions.

The Mystic archetype, on the other hand, is used to describe introspection, trusting one's intuition and seeking deeper meaning. And I do trust my gut feelings quite a lot.

Of course, these archetype questionnaires aren't scientifically validated personality assessments. I treated the results as an engaging exercise in self-reflection rather than a definitive description of who I am.

From Feminine Archetypes to Personal Style

ChatGPT suggested that my Sage-Mystic combination could translate into a style that was understated, sophisticated and slightly unconventional.

It even gave my style an identity: The Intuitive Elegant. Quite atas-sounding, isn't it? Haha.

According to this interpretation, the Sage influence favours clean lines, structure and timeless pieces, while the Mystic adds depth through colours, textures and subtle accessories.

I rather liked the idea.

After all, I've always been drawn to looking effortlessly polished without appearing overdressed.

But there's a difference between admiring a particular aesthetic and being able to wear it comfortably, which brings me to the next obvious challenge.

The Plus-Size Petite Problem

If you're familiar with the combination of plus size and petite, you'll probably understand why finding flattering clothing isn't always straightforward.

Many petite styling recommendations seem designed for slim women with a flat tummy and a small waist, while plus-size fashion often assumes a taller and voluptuous frame.

So where does that leave someone who is both petite and plus-size? Add a fuller midsection in midlife, and things become even more complicated.

So over the years, I've developed some fairly specific clothing preferences.

I love pencil skirts, particularly knee-length and ankle-length ones. I also wear fitted pants, usually paired with long, loose tops that provide coverage around my stomach and bottom.

Dresses? Not really my thing. I almost always feel frumpy in them.

Heels? No, thank you. I only wear sneakers or ballet flats any day.

I even told ChatGPT about all my preferences and current stylings. Surely all this information would help it understand my style better, right?

Well, not immediately.

AI Keeps Dressing Me Up Like a Slim Woman

Here's where the experiment became irritating.

Despite knowing my height, body proportions and clothing preferences, ChatGPT repeatedly showed me styling examples featuring slim petite women.

But were they representative of my body type? NO.

Eventually, I pointed it out myself to ChatGPT, as I was getting impatient.

To its credit, ChatGPT acknowledged the oversight and revised its recommendations to consider the actual challenges of dressing a plus-size petite frame.

That was probably the most useful moment of the entire exercise.

It basically shows that personalised recommendations aren't necessarily personal just because an algorithm has been fed information about you.

Sometimes, you still need to challenge the recommendations before they become relevant.

So, What Did ChatGPT Recommend Eventually?

After quite a lengthy conversation, we arrived at a style profile that actually made sense to me.

The colour direction remained Warm Spring, based mainly on my previous professional consultation.

As for my wardrobe, the recommendations became much more practical.

Instead of suggesting dresses or oversized clothing, ChatGPT focused on what I already enjoy wearing: pencil skirts, fitted trousers, relaxed but structured blouses, comfortable footwear and simple accessories.

It suggested experimenting with warm ivory, deep teal, chocolate brown, caramel and coral rather than relying entirely on black.

Black, by the way, has long been one of my preferred colours, mainly because I find it useful for drawing less attention to my midsection.

The most useful advice wasn't about changing my personal style completely. It was about paying closer attention to garment proportions, shoulder fit, fabric drape, blouse length and waistband comfort.

In other words, work with what I like instead of trying to turn me into someone else.

So, Can ChatGPT Really Replace a Personal Stylist?

After this experiment, my answer would be this: Not entirely.

ChatGPT was useful for brainstorming outfit combinations, exploring colour palettes and helping me articulate my preferences, but it also made assumptions.

It initially overlooked my body proportions when providing visual examples, and some suggestions were more generic.

A qualified personal stylist can assess fabric, fit, proportions and how different garments actually look on a person. ChatGPT cannot fully replicate that experience through a conversation and a couple of photographs.

Still, it offered something useful: an opportunity to examine my wardrobe choices more consciously.

I realised that I already have a fairly consistent personal style. I favour streamlined bottoms, relaxed tops, comfortable shoes and understated elegance.

Perhaps I don't need to reinvent my wardrobe after all.

I just need to be more deliberate about how I put everything together.

**********

Another blog post that I wrote a few months ago, which I find quite interesting when I read it again: What AI Thinks My Personality Is (After Two Years of Conversations)

Competence, Likeability and Trust Are Three Different Things

2026-10-14T11:56:31.985+08:00

I've been watching quite a bit of crime television lately.

I recently finished all three seasons of the Turkish series Graveyard (Mezarlık), I'm currently on Season 3 of The Rookie, and I've finally reached Season 12 of Bones.

They are three crime procedurals that give me very different viewing experiences.

Graveyard is intense and often emotionally heavy. The Rookie is a much lighter watch, with plenty of humour and entertaining characters. Bones has been a long-running favourite, particularly because of its combination of science, criminal investigations, and character dynamics.

While watching these shows, I realised something about the characters that stood out to me across all three series.

Oscar Hutchinson from The Rookie

For example, the character Oscar Hutchinson from The Rookie. He is a ruthless psychopathic criminal - manipulative, opportunistic and certainly not someone I'd want anywhere near my personal or professional life.

But he's brilliant at surviving. He reads situations, identifies opportunities and makes himself useful when necessary. Even when circumstances are stacked against him, he somehow manages to find a way to stay in the game.

I find him thoroughly entertaining. You ask, would I trust him? Absolutely not. Hahaha. But I find his resourcefulness rather impressive, though it doesn't excuse his behaviour.

Inspector Önem from Graveyard

Then there's Inspector Önem from Graveyard.

She's truly capable, although she's severely underestimated in the beginning. She's determined and willing to challenge institutional failures, particularly when investigating crimes against women. She doesn't always have an easy relationship with the people around her, but she knows what she's doing.

What I enjoyed most about the first two seasons was the team dynamic between Önem, Serdar, Hasan, Selin and Berk.

They have different personalities, strengths and ways of approaching situations. They don't always agree, and they get frustrated with one another quite frequently. But they know how to work together when it matters.

However, Season 3 was disappointing. The storyline became unnecessarily complicated with an unsatisfying ending. After three seasons of investing in these characters, I expected a better resolution.

Still, I enjoyed watching how the team functioned in the earlier two seasons.

Dr Lance Sweets from Bones

And then, Bones! I've always appreciated the different expertise that each character brings to the investigations. Dr Brennan is exceptionally knowledgeable, Booth has his investigative instincts, and the Jeffersonian team (Hodgins, Angela, Dr Saroyan, and the whole rotation of interns) contributes its scientific expertise.

But my favourite character will always be Dr Lance Sweets. To me, he is the GOAT! Hahaha.

He's intelligent, perceptive, funny and kind. He understands human behaviour and can recognise things that others overlook. He doesn't need to be the most senior or authoritative person in the room to demonstrate his value.

What I particularly liked was how he could challenge Booth and Brennan without trying to compete with either of them. He knew what he brought to the table.

Competence, Likeability, Trust

Thinking about these characters, I realise that competence, likeability and trust are not necessarily the same thing.

Here's how I look at it:

Despite being a criminal, Oscar gets things done, but he primarily uses his abilities to protect his own interests, which means his intelligence doesn't make him reliable or trustworthy.

Sweets, on the other hand, combines competence with sincerity and a genuine concern for others, which makes him very likeable.

And Önem demonstrates her abilities through her actions, earning trust from her teammates, even when circumstances are difficult.

The Distinction That Matters Beyond TV Characters

Over the years, I've worked with people whose personalities and approaches are very different from mine. Some are systematic and detail-oriented; others are more intuitive or spontaneous.

I don't necessarily have a problem with either approach.

I can appreciate someone's abilities even when they work differently from me because I don't expect everyone to think the same way or arrive at decisions through the same process.

What matters the most to me is this: "Can the person deliver what they have promised and committed to doing?"

Trust is an important workplace "currency" that I associate with consistency, accountability, and demonstrated behaviour.

A confident personality who can make grand promises doesn't automatically establish competence. Neither does seniority, a job title or being particularly good at talking.

Likewise, having a difficult personality doesn't necessarily mean someone lacks ability or competency.

I've become more conscious of separating these things rather than treating them as interchangeable.

I can recognise someone's strengths without liking everything about them; I can appreciate intelligence without needing to know how it's used; and I have become very deliberate in creating opportunities to earn and learn trust, which is a very expensive "currency".

Perhaps that's also why I enjoy ensemble casts. Different characters contribute different abilities, and not everyone needs to be the star.

Anyway, I'm still watching The Rookie, and I'm quite happy to keep it as a light, entertaining series.

No need for every episode to provide an important life lesson.

Although, apparently, I can't even watch a fictional criminal like Oscar Hutchinson without thinking about competence and trust.

Hahaha.

Xennial Women's Bingo

2026-10-11T16:19:38.856+08:00

I'm a Xennial.

Xennial is the micro-generation that sits between younger Gen X and older Millennials, with the commonly cited range being 1977-1983.

The top half of our lives was extraordinarily analogue. We have made mixtapes, survived dial-up internet, lived perfectly well without smartphones and somehow managed to meet people without sharing our live location. 😂

We also grew up when health information came largely from parents, magazines, doctors and whatever someone's aunty said. Then we became adults during the internet revolution.

Now we are in our 40's, entering perimenopause in an era of wearables, podcasts, TikTok doctors, supplements, HRT debates, health influencers, private screening packages, AI and Dr Google.

We are taking words like oestrogen, ApoB, visceral fat, bone density and insulin resistance seriously.

In fact, some of us could be taking magnesium, trying to sleep earlier, interpreting blood test results, and asking more questions before and during medical appointments.

I made a Xennial Women's Bingo card.

How many boxes can you tick? 😂

Actually, I'm also curious about something slightly more serious: How does a generation of women who grew up trusting traditional sources of health information navigate an overwhelming abundance of health information at midlife?

Because we may be the last generation that grew up without the internet, and one of the first to navigate midlife with almost unlimited health information at our fingertips.

This combination fascinates me.

When curiosity becomes a commitment.

What started as an interest in understanding this stage of life has developed into something broader.

I'm increasingly curious about how women search for health information, whom they trust, and how they decide what is worth buying, trying or paying for.

And to be honest... I've been thinking about what it means to pursue an intellectual interest seriously, especially at this stage of life.

Professional experience doesn't automatically translate into academic research competence. There are new methods to learn, assumptions to challenge and different standards of evidence to understand.

Looks like, somewhere along the way, my curiosity has become more deliberate. I'm no longer just reading because something interests me. I'm beginning to think about what it would take to contribute something meaningful to the subject.

That excites me as much as it intimidates me.

For now, I'll keep the curiosity burning as I prepare mentally and physically for my commitment for the next few years.

Why I Refuse to Stay Quiet About Perimenopause | Menopause Awareness Month

2026-10-05T16:41:57.438+08:00

October is Menopause Awareness Month

For generations, women went through menopause and the years leading up to it, pretty quietly. In this October, which is also the Month of Menopause Awareness, I've been thinking a lot about why that silence existed for so long and why I don't think we need to continue it.

For a very long time, older women's health wasn't something people talked about openly. Partly because menopause is considered a natural stage of life, so the expectation basically goes like this: "Every woman goes through it, so just tahan only lah."

And partly, I think, because nobody wanted to be judged. But unfortunately, some of that judgement comes from other women too. The most common one that I always hear is this: "Our mothers and grandmothers went through menopause too. They didn't make such a big fuss about it."

This is where I respectfully disagree.

What Our Mothers Didn't Say

Just because previous generations went through something silently doesn't mean they went through it comfortably.

Maybe they didn't have the words for what they were feeling.
Maybe nobody told them that the insomnia, anxiety, brain fog, rage, exhaustion, palpitations, changing periods, joint aches or loss of libido could all be connected.
Maybe they did mention it to their doctors, but their doctors told them it was stress, ageing, motherhood, or simply part of being a woman.
Or maybe they just got on with life because what other choice did they have?

To be very frank, I don't see their silence as proof that menopause wasn't challenging. Sometimes silence is just silence.

Yes, It's Natural, I Know

As a Gen X woman going through perimenopause right now, I feel that women of my generation are most likely among the first to talk about this stage of life so openly and publicly.

And to some women from earlier generations, we probably sound like we're making a lot of noise over something completely natural.

But here's the thing: 'natural' doesn't mean easy.

Yes, childbirth, period, and ageing – all these are natural occurrences in a woman's life. But pain is still pain.

For some women, perimenopause is fairly manageable. For others, the symptoms can be bloody unbearable.

On some days, the irritability is ridiculous, sleep can be rubbish, anxiety turns up for no obvious reason, or my mental bandwidth disappears much faster than it used to. And sometimes noise, people and normal everyday stuff are just TOO MUCH.

And when several of these things happen at the same time, being told "it's natural" doesn’t really help.

I know it's natural. But I still need to know what the hell is happening to me.

Talking About It Isn't the Same as Blaming Everything on Hormones

This one is important. Being vocal about perimenopause doesn't mean I want to put every woman in her 40s into a box:

Bad mood? Hormones.
Can't sleep? Hormones.
Forgot something? Hormones.
Annoyed with your husband? Definitely hormones. 😂

No lah.

There are many reasons someone might feel anxious, tired, foggy or unable to sleep. Some of those symptoms may need proper medical checks because there could be something else going on entirely.

I'm not trying to blame hormones for everything. I just want perimenopause to be part of the context, so we can ask better questions.

Could this be hormonal?
Could it be my thyroid?
Am I low on something?
Is it stress?
Could it be something psychological?
Should I see a doctor?
Would treatment help?
What lifestyle changes do I need?

Asking these questions isn't making excuses. It's about being able to make informed decisions and take charge of our health.

Silence Doesn't Make Us Stronger

I have huge respect for the women before us. They raised families, worked, looked after ageing parents and kept households running, all while their bodies were changing, usually with very little information or support.

But respecting their resilience doesn't mean we have to copy their silence.

First, if we know more now, why not talk about it?

Second, if treatments and support exist, why shouldn't women know about them?

Third, if talking about it can save another woman from spending years wondering, "Why am I becoming like this?" then I'd rather talk about it, bravely.

Why I'm Choosing to Be Vocal About It

This is also why being featured on Menopause Asia as an advocate means something to me.

I don't see advocacy as standing on a soapbox telling women what they should think or do. For me, advocacy means:

Talking openly about what I'm experiencing.
Sharing what I'm learning.
Asking questions that perhaps women before us were never encouraged to ask.
Helping another woman recognise that what she's going through deserves attention rather than dismissal.

I'm still learning myself; I don't have all the answers, and I don't think every midlife symptom should automatically be labelled perimenopause.

But I do think women deserve enough information to recognise when something has changed, enough confidence to ask why, and access to the right support if they need it.

That, to me, is what advocacy looks like.

I'm not talking about perimenopause because I think women are fragile but because women deserve to understand what is happening to their own bodies.

There's no prize for suffering quietly. And silence is something that we don't need to pass down.

Discovering Nine Little Korean Banchan (Side Dishes)

2026-09-29T23:49:23.364+08:00

One of my favourite things about having Korean food for lunch or dinner is the little spread of side dishes (banchan) that arrives before you have even properly started your meal.

I have eaten them many times at different Korean restaurants, happily picking from one little bowl to another, without really paying attention to what they really are.

But now, looking at this photo of banchan I had at the Korean Recipe restaurant at Bukit Jalil Golf & Country Resort, I realise something quite interesting.

Banchan (Korean Side Dishes)

I know which ones I like. I just don't always know what they are. So I decided to finally identify what was on this particular table.

1. Spicy sliced potatoes

The orange-red slices are potatoes, seasoned or pickled with chilli. Slightly spicy, slightly tangy and very easy to keep digging in.

2. Mashed potato salad

The pale yellow side dish beside it is mashed potato salad. It's buttery and creamy, making it a nice break from the stronger flavours around it.

3. Braised black beans

Those glossy black beans at the top are sweet-savoury and slightly chewy. It's one of those side dishes that looks basic but has a surprisingly strong flavour. This is probably my favourite of the lot!

4. Spicy cucumber

The cucumber chunk in red sauce is crunchy, refreshing and lightly spicy. This dish is probably one of the easiest banchan to recognise.

5. Rolled egg

The little rectangular piece in the middle is a rolled omelette. This dish is most likely one of the most common side dishes.

6. Pickled white radish

The pale pieces on the left are pickled radish. Crisp, slightly sweet and acidic, and very useful for cutting through richer food, especially if you're having grilled pork belly.

7. Stir-fried anchovies with peanuts

The little anchovies and peanuts on the right are crunchy, savoury and slightly sweet. This is the kind of side dish where you either take one bite or somehow finish half the bowl without noticing.

8. Pickled pink cabbage

The bright pink dish is a vinegar-based pickled cabbage. It's tart, crunchy and looks very pretty on the table.

9. Kimchi

And of course, kimchi! Fermented cabbage, chilli, sourness, spice and probably the one banchan almost everyone recognises.

Bibimbap

Oh yeah, the bigger bowl at the bottom of the photo is not a banchan hahaha. It's a bowl of bibimbap. I love the assortment of vegetables, colours and textures, especially when everything gets mixed together with the rice, egg and sauce into one gloriously messy bowl.

Life is Like Banchan

Anyway, back to banchan. What I like about banchan is that none of these dishes needs to be the star.

They don't outshine one another. Each has its own taste profile, its own role, and together they make the meal feel complete.

Life works a little like that too. Not everything needs to be the biggest, loudest, or most important thing on the table. Some things simply add contrast, balance or comfort.

Life is not about having one thing that defines everything. Sometimes, it's the combination of many small, different things that makes the whole experience richer.

Looks Like Sarawak Is Becoming the Kind of Place We No Longer Have to Leave

2026-09-21T13:49:07.664+08:00

Note: Created by ChatGPT

For years, many of us Sarawakians left our home state and moved to Klang Valley because we believed we had to. We left to study, work, seek more opportunities, and eventually build entire lives away from our hometowns.

About 30 years ago, I was one of them. I moved to Kuala Lumpur to study at Universiti Malaya. It was a practical thing to do because I had secured a spot at the most prestigious university in the country. I couldn't give up the opportunity; I had to grab it.

Fast forward to today, I am still here. I have a career, am married, and have children who are growing up knowing West Malaysia as home. I have also completed my master's degree study at Sunway University. Our routines, schools, work, friends and lives are here.

Relocating back to Sarawak is obviously not as straightforward as deciding one morning, "Okay lah, let's go home."

But lately, something has been making me think about whether I could consider building a life back in Sarawak.

Sarawak suddenly feels like it is developing at a breakneck pace.

Lately I have been seeing one development after another coming out of Sarawak. At first, I thought it was just my social media algorithm feeding me more Sarawak content.

Then I started looking deeper into it, and there really is quite a lot happening:

Note: Created by ChatGPT

The economy is growing. Sarawak's economy reached RM153.5 billion in 2025, while GDP per capita stood at RM73,757, higher than the national figure of RM59,167. Source: Department of Statistics Malaysia, 2026
Billions in investment are coming in. Sarawak recorded RM10.8 billion in approved investments in the first half of 2026. Source: MIDA, 2026
Investments and plans are also emerging in renewable energy, hydrogen, digital infrastructure, AI and data centres, including the planned 500MW FutureData Park in Kuching. Source: InvestSarawak, 2026
Phase One of the Kuching Urban Transportation System (KUTS) covers almost 70km with 28 stations, using hydrogen-powered Autonomous Rapid Transit (ART) vehicles and feeder buses. Source: Sarawak Ministry of Transport, 2026
A feasibility study for the proposed new Kuching International Airport at Tanjung Embang has been completed. Source: Sarawak Ministry of Transport, 2026
IKEA is opening its first East Malaysian store in Kuching. Source: IKEA, 2026

Then there is one development that caught my attention more than all the shiny new infrastructure. Maybe this is because I am a parent now.

Free Tertiary Education Scheme in Sarawak

From 2026, Sarawak has allocated RM250 million for its Free Tertiary Education Scheme. The scheme covers 64 undergraduate programmes across four Sarawak-owned institutions: Swinburne University of Technology Sarawak Campus, Curtin University Malaysia, University of Technology Sarawak and i-CATS University College.

For eligible students from lower-income households, there is also a living allowance of up to RM15,000 a year. The programmes are not randomly chosen. They include areas such as STEM, medicine, law, accounting, finance and psychology, with the stated intention of developing talent for Sarawak's future workforce.

There are other initiatives too. The 2026 Sarawak Budget includes RM30.5 million for the Free Laptop Programme, RM36 million for the operation of Yayasan Sarawak International Secondary Schools, and RM8 million for the Graduates Return to Sarawak Initiative, which subsidises flights for Sarawakian students studying in Peninsular Malaysia, Sabah and Labuan.

Wow!

Almost 30 years ago, I was one of the many students leaving Sarawak for tertiary education. If I were 18 today, looking at all these developments, would I still make the same decision?

I genuinely don't know.

And perhaps the more relevant question for me now is, "What does all this mean for my children?"

Here's where the numbers become more complicated.

I don't intend for this blog post to become one of those "Sarawak is booming, everyone let's go home!" pieces.

To put things into perspective, economic growth and shiny infrastructure are only one side of the equation.

Sarawak's unemployment rate was 3.2% in 2025, according to the Department of Statistics Malaysia. Although Sarawak's economy is substantial and growing, its economic structure is very different from Kuala Lumpur's. Services accounted for 39.3% of Sarawak's economy in 2025, compared with 91.7% in Kuala Lumpur.

These numbers matter to me because my professional background is in the service industry: marketing, content and digital work. My professional networks are here. Moving somewhere with a growing economy doesn't automatically mean there will be equivalent senior-level opportunities in my particular field.

There are also questions that GDP figures cannot answer. What are salaries like? What kinds of senior jobs are actually available? What about healthcare and specialist care as we get older? What opportunities would my children have as teenagers and eventually young adults? Would they reach 18 and tell me that they need to leave Sarawak for the same reasons I once did?

Those questions matter much more to me than the number of new buildings going up.

Because moving "home" after 30 years isn't really going home.

I still call Sarawak home, but I have spent more of my adult life in West Malaysia than I ever did living there. The Sarawak I remember from my childhood is inevitably imprinted somewhere in my memory, while the actual Sarawak has continued changing without me.

So relocating wouldn't really mean returning to my old life. It would mean building another one.

And this time, I couldn't make the decision only for myself. I have my family, career, friends, routines, and an entire ecosystem that I have built over nearly three decades.

Which is also why I am definitely not packing boxes now. Lol.

But I guess I can start preparing my children for the free education in Sarawak.

Maybe that's where this begins. Not with a plan to move home, but with the realisation that Sarawak has changed enough for me to start thinking about it.

Disclaimer: The views, reflections and opinions expressed in this post are entirely my own. This blog post and its accompanying images were co-created with ChatGPT, which I used as a research, writing and creative tool. All final editorial decisions, interpretations and opinions are mine.

My Kids' Paediatric Endocrinologist Has Put His Foot Down About Sleeping Early

2026-09-18T00:26:04.805+08:00

During a recent dietitian appointment for my youngest kiddo, while we were discussing food, calories and how to help him gain weight, the dietitian reminded us that sleep is also important for growth.

This means I need to think about more than just feeding my child more. I also need to make sure he sleeps earlier and has adequate hours of sleep, just like what his dietitian mentioned, and as reaffirmed by his paediatric endocrinologist, Prof. Dr Yazid at UMSC.

So naturally, this sent me down another research rabbit hole, because I wanted to understand why sleep was being treated as such an important part of his growth plan. Okay, I don't know how this happened, but I seem to have conveniently forgotten that kids grow during their sleep.

What does sleep actually have to do with children's growth?

As it turns out, quite a lot.

Growth hormone (GH) plays an important role in childhood growth, and its secretion is closely associated with sleep. Research has found that significant GH release occurs around the first period of slow-wave, or deep, sleep, particularly during the earlier part of the sleep period.

Source: Instagram

Research suggests that adequate, good-quality and regular sleep is important for children's health and development, and sleep is closely connected to the normal secretion of growth hormone. Children who get enough sleep at the correct timing tend to be able to grow taller.

For children aged 6 to 12, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends between 9 and 12 hours of sleep per 24 hours, while teenagers aged 13 to 18 should generally get between 8 and 10 hours.

Guess what the timing is?

Children should already be asleep no later than 10pm, preferably by 9pm.

Seriously?

But why wasn't this emphasised more?

Look, my kids have seen paediatricians throughout their childhood for general checkups, vaccinations, nutrition and growth charts, along with all the other things that parents normally discuss with their children's doctors.

Of course, we've also been told that children need enough sleep. I don't think there is a parent alive who doesn't know that children are supposed to sleep early.

But I now realise that there is a significant difference between being told, "Make sure he gets enough sleep," and being told, "Sleep needs to be part of how we manage his growth."

Those two statements would have landed very differently with me as a parent.

It was only when we started seeing a paediatric endocrinologist that I began to understand how seriously I should be treating sleep in the context of growth. Now that the dietitian has reinforced the same message, I find myself wondering why I didn't understand its importance much earlier.

How I wish somebody had made the connection much more explicit. If someone had told me years ago that when we assess a child's growth, we should be looking at nutrition, sleep and the overall growth pattern together, I would have treated bedtime very differently.

Anyway, turning bedtime into another reason to beat myself up isn't going to help anyone. What I can do is take what we know now and change what happens from here.

So Operation 'Sleep Earlier' Begins!

I'm realistic enough to know that announcing, "From tonight onwards, everybody goes to bed before 10pm!" is probably the fastest way to make the whole exercise fail.

Our bedtime has gradually crept later over the years, so I'm treating this as something we need to reset rather than something I can change overnight.

1. Move bedtime earlier gradually.

Instead of suddenly trying to shift bedtime by an hour, we can move it earlier in smaller increments. Even bringing bedtime forward by 15 minutes every few nights gives their bodies and our household routine some time to adjust.

The goal isn't to achieve the perfect bedtime immediately. It's to gradually make an earlier bedtime feel normal.

2. Work backwards from wake-up time.

This has been one of the more useful ways for me to think about it.

Instead of asking why my children need to sleep so ridiculously early, I can start with the time they need to wake up for school and work backwards according to how much sleep they need for their age.

Once I do the maths, bedtime becomes somehow less negotiable.

3. Start the bedtime routine well before bedtime.

I've also realised that saying "bedtime is 9pm" cannot mean that we start preparing for bed at 9pm.

BUT there is coming home from tuition or football, showering, packing school bags, finding things and, inevitably, remembering something important right before bedtime.

If I want them asleep earlier, the entire household needs to start slowing down earlier.

4. Screens need a bedtime too.

This is probably going to be one of the harder changes because "five more minutes" on a phone has a remarkable ability to become half an hour.

Rather than focusing only on what time the children get into bed, I think we need a clearer time when screens stop too. That gives them some time to wind down before they're expected to fall asleep.

5. Aim for consistency rather than perfection.

There will inevitably be late dinners, homework, football, family activities and weekends when everything goes completely off schedule.

I'm not trying to run a military camp where everybody must be unconscious at exactly 9.37 pm.

What I want is for an earlier bedtime to become our normal routine rather than something we attempt only when there is school the next morning.

Parenthood is not for the faint-hearted.

The more I learn about children's growth, the more I realise that there isn't one magic food, supplement or habit that determines how tall a child eventually becomes. Genetics matter, nutrition matters, overall health matters, hormones matter, and sleep is another part of that complicated picture.

There are many things about their growth that I cannot control, and perhaps that's the part of motherhood that makes me the most anxious. I can do all the right things and still have to accept that I cannot personally command their bodies to grow.

What I can do is make use of the information we have now.

I can work on his nutrition. I can add the extra oil. I can make his snacks more substantial. I can keep taking him to his appointments and keep monitoring his progress.

And I guess I can also occasionally be that mother who starts shouting across the house every night, "GO TO SLEEP! YOU NEED TO GROW!"

Haha.

Wish me all the best!

Oral Health Is Part of My Midlife Maintenance Now

2026-09-11T16:21:50.142+08:00

By now, I have accepted that perimenopause has opinions about almost every part of my body.

Sleep? Affected.

Mood? Definitely affected.

Metabolism? Don't get me started.

Skin, hair, brain, joints? Apparently everybody gets a turn.

And now, my mouth has joined the conversation. Omg.

A Visit to the Dentist A Few Months Ago

A few months ago, I had an episode that sent me to the dentist. I blogged about it here: Apparently You Can Floss Religiously and STILL End Up at the Dentist 😭

Because of that episode, I discovered something I hadn't really thought about before: oral health can change during perimenopause and menopause.

Research has documented oral-health concerns during perimenopause and menopause, including dry mouth, gum and periodontal problems, oral discomfort and changes in the tissues of the mouth.

Hormonal changes, particularly changes in oestrogen, are thought to play a role, although of course not every dental problem in your 40s can be simply blamed on perimenopause.

This realisation has led me down the rabbit hole of oral probiotics, interdental brushes and toothpaste ingredients.

Welcome to midlife. Hehe.

The Product I Didn't Even Know Existed: Oral Probiotics

During that dental visit, I was given the usual treatment, but my dentist also recommended that I take BioGaia Prodentis for a month.

My first reaction was essentially: Har? There are probiotics for your mouth? Until then, probiotics lived firmly in the yoghurt-and-gut-health section of my brain.

BioGaia Prodentis contains the active strains of Limosilactobacillus reuteri Prodentis (a blend of L. reuteri DSM 17938 and L. reuteri ATCC PTA 5289).

Unlike swallowing a probiotic capsule, it comes as a lozenge that dissolves slowly in the mouth, so the bacteria are delivered directly into the oral cavity. BioGaia specifically developed the combination for oral health and gum support.

I have been taking BioGaia Prodentis for the past four months. And so far, my gums have been behaving themselves. I no longer have the bleeding or soreness I used to notice.

At the same time, I also started using an interdental brush properly.

I Changed My Toothpaste Too

As though oral probiotics weren't already enough of a departure from my old routine, about a month ago I switched toothpaste and started using Boostoral Restore+ n-HA Prebiotics Whitening Toothpaste.

Previously, toothpaste was… toothpaste. Now I read ingredient lists. Haha.

Boostoral caught my attention because its formulation is built around two things I hadn't previously looked for in toothpaste: nano-hydroxyapatite and oral prebiotics. The toothpaste also contains hydrated silica, while other ingredients in the range include things such as xylitol and tea tree extract.

Nano-hydroxyapatite, or n-HA, was particularly interesting. Hydroxyapatite is a mineral that naturally makes up much of tooth enamel. Boostoral uses a nano-sized form designed to interact more closely with the tooth surface and support remineralisation and the formation of a protective mineral layer.

Then there are the oral prebiotics, which are there to support the environment in which beneficial oral bacteria live.

So in a sense, I have somehow arrived at this situation:

Prodentis = probiotics

Boostoral = prebiotics

I have gone from buying whatever toothpaste seemed reasonable to apparently managing an ecosystem inside my mouth. Midlife is wild. Hahaha.

There is another reason Boostoral caught my attention that has absolutely nothing to do with microbiomes.

The branding is ridiculously eye-catching. Their packaging doesn't look like the traditional toothpaste packaging I've been staring at in supermarkets for decades. It looks almost like skincare.

And then there are the flavours. I started with Pink Guava, which sounds much more like something I should be drinking at a beach resort than brushing my teeth with. I've since bought Watermelon and Magic Mint. The one I actually wanted next, Lemonade Burst, is currently out of stock.

Looks like I've also started collecting toothpaste flavours now. I don't know when this became my life either. LOL.

And perhaps that matters more than it sounds. The best oral-care routine is still the one you actually keep doing.

Disclaimer: This is simply my personal experience with the products mentioned, not medical or dental advice. My oral-health routine also changed in several ways at the same time, so I can't attribute the improvements I've noticed to any single product. If you have persistent bleeding, swelling, pain or other changes in your gums or mouth, see a dentist rather than attempting to probiotic your way out of it. 😆

September Is Perimenopause Awareness Month

2026-09-07T00:30:42.602+08:00

What Exactly Is Perimenopause?

If there's one thing I've realised from learning more about this stage of life, it's this: many women enter perimenopause without really knowing what to expect.

We know that menopause is when menstruation stops. This is the simplest explanation.

But perimenopause, the transition phase before menopause, can last up to 8 to 10 years before menopause actually occurs.

During perimenopause, which Dr Mary Claire Haver describes as the Zone of Chaos, hormones such as estrogen, progesterone and testosterone become increasingly unpredictable, and the effects can show up in ways that don't immediately seem hormonal at all: brain fog, anxiety, poor sleep, mood changes, joint aches, palpitations, changes in body composition and many more.

Which is why, so many women in their 40s seem to describe similar experiences:

"Maybe I'm just stressed."

"Maybe I'm just getting old already lah."

"Why don't I feel like myself anymore?"

And then you finally start connecting the dots.

Discovering the Perimenopause Rollercoaster

My Blog Posts

I thought estrogen was just a reproductive hormone. Here's what I learnt about estrogen's role in brain fog, mood, sleep and other perimenopause changes.

Why do anxiety, irritability, and poor sleep feel different in perimenopause? Here's what I learnt about progesterone and feeling less steady in midlife.

Feeling flat, less motivated or low in energy? Here's what I learnt about testosterone in women and how it may affect drive, strength, and midlife.

Aha. No wonder lah!

Perimenopause Deserves More Conversations

Awareness matters because recognising that these changes could be related to perimenopause gives us more context. It helps us ask better questions, seek appropriate support and have more informed conversations about what is happening to our bodies.

If you're wondering whether some of the changes you’ve been experiencing could be related to perimenopause, you can also reach out to Menopause Asia.

It is a digital platform that connects women with independently licensed doctors, reliable information and practical midlife health resources, with the aim of making menopause support easier to access and navigate. Menopause Asia itself is not a healthcare provider; medical consultations are provided independently by licensed healthcare professionals.

Sometimes, knowing what might be happening is already a very useful first step.

So this September, maybe tell another woman what you've learnt too.

Because the more openly we talk about perimenopause, the less likely someone else is to spend years thinking: "What on earth is wrong with me?"

❤️ Share this with a woman who might need her own Aha, No Wonder Lah moment.

Adding Oil to Everything Is Now Part of My Parenting Strategy

2026-09-06T18:22:32.432+08:00

I came home from a dietitian appointment recently with a new parenting strategy:

Add oil to lunch, dinner, and whatever food my child will happily eat.

So apparently, when you're trying to help a child gain weight, sometimes the answer isn't eat more. It's figuring out how to make what they're already eating work a little harder.

I just realised this is one of those parenting things I never thought I'd know need to put into practice.

For the past few months, we've been working with a dietitian to help our youngest kiddo with his growth. He's always been on the smaller side, so we're trying to help him gain weight steadily and, hopefully, support his height growth along the way.

The good news from our latest appointment is that he has gained some weight.

Although not a drastic increase, it was enough for the dietitian to mention that whatever we're doing, keep doing it.

So next, we add oil.

One of the things I've learnt is that helping a child gain weight doesn't necessarily mean piling more food onto his plate.

Because if your child already doesn't eat very much, staring at an even bigger mountain of food isn't exactly going to inspire him.

Instead, we're learning to increase the calorie density of the food he's already eating.

Hence: oil (e.g., olive oil, butter).

And we're also encouraged to add things like fried shallots, fried garlic, and fried ikan bilis to his meals; basically foods that add more oil, protein, and calories without significantly increasing the amount of food he has to finish.

Vegetables require a different strategy.

This is another thing I liked from the dietitian.

Instead of constantly introducing vegetables as a separate 'you must eat this because it's good for you' item, we can introduce them through something he already likes.

He loves tom yum, for example.

So rather than saying, "Here is a new veggie. Eat it." It can be, "Here's your tom yum. There's a nice veggie in it." 😂

He's already started accepting a few vegetables, so the idea now is to keep those consistent while slowly expanding the selection.

Sleep is not for the weak.

This one is probably going to be harder than adding oil.

The dietitian also reminded us that nutrition is only one part of growth; sleep matters too.

So we're now working towards an earlier and more consistent bedtime, which means my child's growth plan involves not only what happens at the dining table, but also what time he needs to be in bed.

Wish me luck!

Small progress is still progress.

I think that's probably my biggest takeaway from these appointments.

When you're watching a child's growth over time, progress doesn't always look dramatic. Sometimes it's simply seeing that the gap on the growth chart has become a little smaller.

And for now, that's enough to make me happy.

We have another few months before the next check-in, so the plan is pretty simple:

Keep doing what seems to be working.
Keep making his snacks more substantial.
Keep introducing food, including veggies, without turning every meal into a battle.
Get him to bed earlier.
And of course, add oil to his food.

Wish me luck!

Where Did My Spark Go?

2026-09-05T16:12:04.847+08:00

After learning about the chaotic behaviour of fluctuating estrogen and progesterone during perimenopause, I thought I understood this whole hormone situation.

Then testosterone came along.

Women Have Testosterone Too

What? Seriously?

Did you know that women have testosterone too? This was probably the first misconception I had to get rid of.

Testosterone is not exclusively a male hormone. Women produce it too, just in smaller amounts.

Source: Instagram | joiedevivrefit

In women, testosterone supports:

Energy and vitality
Libido
Muscle and strength
Bone health
Confidence and drive
Cognitive sharpness
Skin and hair

Okay wait.

So, estrogen has its hands in almost everything.

Progesterone is involved in calmness and sleep.

And now testosterone is in the picture, deciding whether I still have energy, drive, and motivation.

How many functions are these hormones actually running? 😑

The "I've Lost My Spark" Feeling

Because low testosterone in women can be described less like feeling unwell and more like this vague sense of flatness.

It's not necessarily sadness or depression. Just... "I don't feel like I used to."

Some women describe it as:

"I've lost my spark."

"I feel flat."

"I'm going through the motions."

"I don't recognise myself."

That whole cluster stood out to me because it's such a subtle thing.

There may not be anything dramatically wrong; you're still functioning, going to work, doing what needs to be done, and showing up.

But somewhere along the way, the enthusiasm feels smaller and the drive is less.

The "I can't be bothered" moments become more frequent.

And you may start wondering, "Am I just tired? Lazy? Burnt out? Bored? Getting old? Or is there something else going on too?"

Then There Is the Energy Problem

This one is interesting, because "tired" can mean so many things.

There's sleepy tired, physically exhausted tired, and mentally overloaded tired.

And then there's this other kind of "tired" where you can technically do something but just don't feel like it.

Because the motivation, enthusiasm, and that forward momentum are missing.

Now to be fair, sometimes I genuinely cannot be bothered because the thing is annoying and I have reached that stage in life where I no longer want to waste energy pretending otherwise. 😂

But still.

I find it striking that testosterone is also associated with drive and vitality, because those are not usually the things women are taught to connect with hormones.

Strength Training Is a Big Deal

Declining testosterone has been linked to reduced muscle mass, less physical resilience and shifts in body composition. This is probably the most practical takeaway I got from this topic.

Experts put a lot of emphasis on resistance or strength training and suggest two to three sessions a week as an important part of supporting strength and muscle in midlife.

Strength training seems to be the "prescription" for almost everything related to perimenopause, bone health, muscle mass, and metabolism.

Sigh, I suppose this is one of those moments where I can no longer pretend I didn't get the memo.

Looks like I need to stop avoiding strength training. 😑

Excuses Vs Context

Anyway, learning about hormones isn't about finding an excuse.

It's about understanding that sometimes there is more context behind the question, "Why don't I feel like myself anymore?"

Maybe the better questions are, "What has changed?" and "What can I do?"

Why Don't I Feel As Steady As I Used To?

2026-08-29T20:43:05.052+08:00

After learning about estrogen, I thought, okay... at least now I understand a little better why perimenopause can feel so random.

Then there's one more hormone in the picture: progesterone.

Just like estrogen, I associate progesterone with pregnancy or fertility. That's it.

What I didn't realise is that progesterone is closely linked to sleep, anxiety, mood, and that general sense of feeling calm and steady.

And when I learnt that?

Aha. No wonder lah!

Progesterone Is the Underrated Hormone

Estrogen gets a lot of attention when we talk about menopause. And progesterone seems to be the quieter one sitting somewhere at the back.

But I'm beginning to realise this quiet hormone may explain some of the things that bother me the most. Things like:

Why am I more easily overwhelmed than before?
Why does anxiety appear when there isn't actually anything specific to be anxious about?
Why can I be physically tired, but my brain refuses to switch off?
Why don't I feel as emotionally steady as I used to?

That last one really caught my attention because sometimes it isn't even about being sad, angry or anxious. It's just this feeling of... I used to handle things better.

Let me to explain what that means:

I begin to realise things that I would previously just let them be; now they suddenly irritate me more.
Stress seems to use up my mental bandwidth way faster than what I'd like to admit.
Some days I just have less tolerance for nonsense.

Okay, maybe the last one is also age and experience. 😂

But still.

It made me wonder how much of what we describe as "I've changed" could actually be happening alongside hormonal changes too.

Progesterone Apparently Starts Changing Early

Source: Dr. Mary Clair Haver

This was another thing I didn't know.

I always assumed all our hormones basically started declining together as we approached menopause.

Progesterone is produced after ovulation. But as we move through our late 30s and 40s and ovulation becomes less consistent, progesterone production can also become less consistent.

You may still be having periods, not having hot flushes, or not even be thinking about perimenopause. But hormonally, things may already be changing.

Aha. No wonder lah!

This also made me realise why the beginning of perimenopause can be so confusing.

We tend to look out for the stereotypical menopause symptoms. No hot flush? Still menstruating? Then surely everything is normal, right?

Except the changes may have started much earlier and may show up in completely different ways.

Then There Is the Anxiety

This was actually one of my bigger aha moments.

I recently understood that anxiety can worsen when progesterone declines, while fluctuating estrogen can also contribute to it.

My immediate response was basically: AHA. NO WONDER LAH.

So progesterone is fluctuating; estrogen is going up and down like a rollercoaster.

And my nervous system is somewhere in the middle, going, "Good luck everybody!" 😂

Of course, anxiety has many causes, and I'm not going to blame every anxious moment on hormones.

Work, family, traffic, incompetent people are... well, incompetent people.

But what I find frustrating is the kind of anxiety that sometimes seems to come from nowhere.

Nothing particularly terrible has happened >> You're not consciously worried about anything >> Yet somehow your body feels unsettled >> Your mind is restless >> You're more easily triggered >> And you can't quite explain why

You feel me?

And Then There Is Sleep...

...or the lack of it.

I have recently also been learning about the relationship between progesterone and sleep, particularly that progesterone has calming effects in the brain and is associated with restorative sleep.

Which brings me to another question: How can you be tired and STILL not want to fall sleep easily?

I can be physically exhausted and I know I should sleep.

But somehow my brain thinks 11pm is an excellent time to play brain games. One round, then another round, then another, and one hour passed.

Earlier I joked that perhaps I'm addicted to dopamine.

Maybe not literally, but I have definitely trained my brain to expect entertainment right until bedtime instead of winding down.

So now I'm experimenting. No brain games for about an hour before sleeping.

Brain, please understand that office hours are over. 😭

Having More Context Is Important

When you're more anxious, sleeping badly, easily overwhelmed and not feeling as emotionally steady as before, it is very easy to turn everything inward.

Why am I like this nowadays? Why can't I handle stress like I used to? Why am I so easily irritated? Am I just becoming grumpier as I get older?

To be fair, yes, hormones may not be the explanation for everything.

But for me, learning about perimenopause isn't really about finding a hormone to blame or pigeonholing symptoms. It's about having more context. Because once you understand that something may be changing inside your body, you stop interpreting every change as some kind of personal failing.

The thought then changes from, "What is wrong with me?" TO

"Ahhh... so THAT might be what's going on."

And there it is again.

Aha. No wonder lah!

Next experiment: convincing my brain that bedtime is for sleeping, not achieving a new high score. 😑

I Thought Estrogen Was Just A Reproductive Hormone

2026-08-26T17:05:37.553+08:00

Previously, if someone asked me what estrogen does, I would answer like this: estrogen is a female hormone involved in menstruation, reproduction, and finally menopause.

But recently I started learning about perimenopause, and lo and behold! I just got to know that estrogen has receptors in almost every tissue in the female body and influences hundreds of different functions.

Guess what my immediate reaction is?

Aha. No wonder lah!

Did You Know that Estrogen Is Involved in Almost Everything?

The estrogen receptors are found in the brain, heart, bones, skin, gut, bladder, joints, and blood vessels. Gosh! I now understand why the list of things women experience during perimenopause can seem completely unrelated.

How many of these symptoms do you experience? These are some of the most common ones:

Brain fog, difficulty finding words, sleep problems, anxiety, irritability, joint aches, changes in body composition (belly fat), changes to periods, hot flushes, and night sweats.

When you put it all together, you start thinking, "Wait... are you saying these things can all happen at the same stage of life?"

Take the Menopause Quiz

If you're unsure about what's going on with your body, especially if you don't feel quite right but aren't diagnosed with clinical conditions, try this (peri)menopause quiz/symptom checker from Menopause Asia. It will be insightful.

The Brain Fog

This one caught my attention because it's so annoying. Have you ever experienced the following?

You are talking halfway through a sentence, and suddenly the word you wanted is just... gone.
You walk into a room and forget why you went there.
You read the same paragraph three times and realise that absolutely nothing has registered.
You know that you know someone's name, but your brain refuses to retrieve it.

And when it starts happening more often, you start to think, "Is there something wrong with me?"

What I didn't realise before is that estrogen also plays a role in brain function, including memory, language, concentration, processing, and mood.

Estrogen supports processes involving acetylcholine, which is important for memory and learning, blood flow to areas of the brain involved in focus and decision-making, synaptic plasticity, and neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine.

So when estrogen fluctuates during perimenopause, that's why some women experience cognitive slowness, difficulty retrieving words, trouble concentrating, or that strange feeling of mental static.

Aha. No wonder lah!

Estrogen Doesn't Just Drop Dramatically During Perimenopause

This was another big aha moment for me. For years, I thought hormones were high when we were younger, then declined as we got older, and finally became very low at menopause. Simple, right?

But... perimenopause doesn't behave quite so politely!

Estrogen does not decline in one nice, smooth line. During perimenopause, estrogen actually fluctuates quite dramatically like a rollercoaster before eventually settling at a lower level after menopause.

Source: LinkedIn

Now this makes the unpredictability of this stage make a little more sense.

Why do I feel relatively normal one week and quite unlike myself another week?
Why does something suddenly bother me when it never used to?
Why can a symptom appear, disappear, and then return?

How Much Have I Been Blaming on "Getting Older"?

This is probably the part that has made me think the most. There are so many little changes that are incredibly easy to dismiss once you reach your 40s. You basically just lump everything into the "getting older lah" bucket.

Tired more easily? Must be because old already lah.
Brain fog? I just have too many things to remember lah.
Stubborn belly fat? Metabolism slows down liao lah.
Easily triggered, irritable? Stress from work, driving, incompetent people...
Can't fall asleep fast enough? I play too much phone before sleep lah.

Perhaps sometimes those explanations may absolutely be part of it. But learning more about estrogen has made me a little less willing to automatically throw everything into the "I'm getting older" bucket.

The Biggest Shift for Me

I'm not trying to explain every little thing that happens to me with hormones, and I'm definitely not suggesting that every ache, forgotten word, bad night's sleep or bad mood is only caused by estrogen.

But I'm starting to understand that midlife isn't always as simple as "you're getting older".

The more I learn about perimenopause and estrogen, the more I feel reassured because understanding why something might be happening makes it feel a little less random.

I have a feeling there will be another Aha. No wonder lah! coming very soon. 😅

Turning 13 Requires Two Birthday Meals!

2026-08-16T16:28:33.823+08:00

My Eldest Son Turns 13

I am truly resisting the temptation to turn this into one of those deeply reflective posts about how quickly children grow up, how the years have flown by, and how I suddenly have a teenager in the house. Hahaha.

For now, I just want to say... turning 13 requires two birthday meals!

Early Birthday Dinner at Hoshiki Japanese Izakaya

We started celebrating with an early birthday dinner with the family at Hoshiki Japanese Izakaya restaurant at Pearl Shopping Gallery, Old Klang Road.

I quite like the plan of stretching birthdays out over a few days anyway. It takes away the pressure of having to squeeze everything into one supposedly perfect celebration on the exact date.

Dinner can be dinner, cake can be cake, and no one has to rush. And this cake here is a Vanilla Blueberry Cake from Butter Olive Pastry House at BK5A Bandar Kinrara, Puchong.

Actual Birthday Lunch at Torte by Linda

We have eaten at Torte by Linda before, so going back there again for a birthday meal is very much part of the plan. Torte by Linda serves Russian and Eastern European food, which is still not the sort of cuisine we eat very often in KL.

I'm a big fan of celebrating a birthday meal at just somewhere you already know you enjoy and not necessarily somewhere new. See what we ordered from the menu during this birthday lunch.

Of course, there was cake too because regardless of how many birthday meals you have already had, the actual birthday still needs cake, even if it's just one slice.

So now we have a teenager!

Happy 13th Birthday, Luke. ❤️

Why Do I Love Structures and Think in Systems

2026-08-13T18:20:06.480+08:00

Flexibility doesn't mean zero planning.

Over the years, I have occasionally described myself as a control freak at work, not in the sense that I need to make every decision or dictate every detail, but because I have always felt uncomfortable when people begin executing a piece of work without first agreeing on a clear plan.

If there is one thing that consistently raises my stress level, it is ambiguity.

We often hear that good leaders should be flexible, adaptable, and willing to change course when circumstances require it.

However, I disagree that flexibility means zero planning. Structure matters a lot to me.

Therefore, I believe I am not reacting to a change of plans but rather to uncertainty that could have been reduced through proper or structured planning.

Am I planning for too much?

Whenever I delegate work or work with a team, I naturally gravitate towards a structure: defining the objective, the scope, the timeline, and what the outcome should look like before we begin.

I like knowing who is responsible for which part of the work, what decisions still need to be made, what assumptions we are making at the start, and when the deadlines are.

I have occasionally wondered whether that makes me difficult to work with.

From my observation, there are people who seem perfectly comfortable beginning with only a broad objective. They start doing, observe what happens, and refine the work along the way. Sometimes they produce excellent results despite having no detailed plan at the beginning.

I have always admired that ability because it is so different from the way my own mind works.

If someone gives me an objective that feels abstract to my understanding, my first instinct is not to accept it.

My first instinct is to ask structured questions:

Who are the decision-makers? What exactly are we trying to achieve? What are the expected outcomes? What constraints are we working with? What is our approach if issues arise?

To me, those questions are not obstacles to getting work done. They are part of the work.

Isn't structure necessary?

One misconception about people who enjoy planning is that we dislike change. That has never been true for me.

In my line of work, Google updates its algorithms, clients change priorities, budgets get revised, top management changes, and campaigns that looked promising last FY may no longer be relevant today.

I have no problem changing direction when new information becomes available; what unsettles me the most is changing direction when the direction was ambiguous in the first place.

There is a difference between adapting because circumstances have changed versus improvising because no one thought through the approach before starting.

The first is flexibility; the second is often avoidable confusion.

To be fair, being structured isn't about predicting everything.

One of the lessons I have gradually learned is that planning and certainty are not the same thing.

A good plan does not guarantee success, nor does it prevent unexpected events from happening. The purpose of structured planning, at least from my perspective, is to reduce the amount of unnecessary uncertainty.

When a team has already agreed on the objective, the scope, the assumptions, and the expected outcome, everyone has a common reference point. If something changes halfway through, the discussion becomes much easier because people understand what is changing and why.

Without that shared understanding, every adjustment feels like starting the conversation from the beginning.

Perhaps that is why I have always felt more comfortable investing time in planning than spending even more time correcting avoidable misunderstandings later.

Some people think before they act. Others think by acting.

Recently, I started wondering whether this is simply a difference in how people process information.

Some people, like me, organise our thoughts internally before taking action. We ask questions, identify risks, build a mental framework, and only then begin executing.

Others seem to discover the solution through the act of doing. They are comfortable taking the first step without knowing every subsequent step because they trust themselves to adjust along the way.

I guess neither approach is inherently right or wrong; perhaps both approaches are necessary.

If everyone gravitates towards structures and systems the way I do, projects might become over-analysed before anything ever gets started.

If everyone prefers to figure things out as they went, there might not be enough structure to keep larger projects consistent.

Perhaps the real challenge is not deciding which style is better, but recognising that different people reduce uncertainty in different ways.

Maybe this is why I don't understand "just wing it".

For years, I interpreted phrases such as "We'll figure it out" or "Let's just start first" as a lack of preparation.

I am beginning to wonder whether that was an unfair assumption.

Perhaps some people genuinely think more clearly once they begin moving.

Just as I need structure before I can act confidently, they may need action before they can see the structure.

Understanding that has helped me become more patient with people whose working style differs from mine.

At the same time, it has also helped me understand myself better.

I don't think I need control for the sake of control. I think I simply find comfort in reducing ambiguity wherever possible.

A plan, to me, has never been a rigid document that predicts the outcome.

A plan is a shared understanding of what we are trying to achieve, why we are approaching it that way, and how we will recognise whether we have succeeded.

The plan may change tomorrow. In fact, it probably will. But I would still rather begin with one than begin with none.

Perhaps that doesn't make me a control freak after all.

Perhaps it simply means I think in systems.

Here's a deeper, work-related reflection on my LinkedIn page.

Why The Thursday Murder Club Made Ageing Look So Interesting

2026-08-08T01:09:34.340+08:00

Image source: Wikipedia

I watched The Thursday Murder Club on Netflix the other night. It was star-studded – Helen Mirren, Ben Kingsley, Pierce Brosnan, Celia Imrie, David Tennant, and Tom Ellis, to name a few.

It was entertaining too; there were murders to be solved, plenty of amateur sleuthing, a retirement village full of personalities, and a group of older people who were far more capable than anyone around them initially assumed.

The biggest entertaining gem for me was how the movie portrayed ageing. Because it neither portrayed ageing merely as inevitable physical decline nor disguised ageing with inspirational messages about "staying young and not looking your age".

Instead, The Thursday Murder Club showed something I think we do not see often enough on screen: people who have aged, accumulated experience, lost things, lived through things, and are still curious about the world.

Retirement Does Not Mean You Stop Being Useful

The Thursday Murder Club consists of four retirees who spend their Thursdays looking into unsolved crimes. Joyce is a retired nurse. Elizabeth is a former intelligence operative. Ron was a trade union activist. Ibrahim is a psychiatrist.

Elizabeth understands strategy and how people behave when they are hiding something. Ibrahim understands psychology. Ron knows how to confront people and mobilise others. Joyce understands people in a quieter way. She observes, listens and often gets information precisely because people do not see her as threatening.

Their careers may have ended, but their knowledge did not disappear. I really liked that.

We tend to associate usefulness with employment. Once someone retires, there is almost an assumption that the productive part of life has ended and the remaining years are mainly about leisure, healthcare and grandchildren.

But a person who has spent forty years practising medicine, teaching children, running businesses, solving problems, caring for patients, raising families or managing difficult people does not suddenly lose all that knowledge because they no longer have a job title.

Experience does not expire at retirement.

The Characters Are Old, and That Is the Point

Another thing I appreciated was that the movie did not try to make ageing look youthful. The characters are older, and the story allows them to be older.

They talked about health concerns, grief, illness, and how time is no longer unlimited. But none of those things cancel out curiosity, humour, intelligence or purpose.

There is a common way of praising older people that sounds something like, "She is 75 but still behaves like she is 40!" It sounds complimentary, but underneath it is the assumption that being younger is still the ideal.

The Thursday Murder Club offers a much more interesting possibility:

What if seventy years of living actually makes someone more interesting?

Ageing and becoming less relevant are not the same thing.

Joyce Was Probably My Favourite

I also have to mention Joyce, and not only because we share the same name. Hahaha!

When she first joins the group, she seems like the least intimidating member of the club. She is docile, friendly, and very ordinary when compared to Elizabeth, who appears capable of organising an international espionage operation before breakfast.

But Joyce has her own kind of intelligence. As a former nurse, she understands people. She notices small things, she listens, and because she does not immediately look like the smartest or most dangerous person in the room, people underestimate her.

That actually becomes an advantage.

You know what? There is something very satisfying about watching a character whose strength comes not from being loud, dominant or obviously brilliant, but from decades of paying attention to human beings.

Perhaps This Is What Interested Me Most

Perhaps the most obvious reason for why I immensely enjoyed this movie is that I have become increasingly interested in what happens as we move through midlife and eventually into older age.

There is so much conversation about ageing from a medical perspective. We talk about disease prevention, physical decline, healthcare costs, retirement planning and longevity.

All of those things matter.

But there is another question that interests me just as much:

What happens to identity?

Who are we when the titles start disappearing, and when are we no longer the manager, the doctor, the teacher, the business owner or the person everyone calls when something needs to be solved?

The Thursday Murder Club gives a surprisingly simple answer:

You are still the person who spent decades becoming who you are.

The job may end, but the expertise remains.

Stay curious, stay relevant.

My Post-Convocation Lunch Introduced Me to Miao Cuisine

2026-07-30T12:49:05.746+08:00

A few days after my convocation, I wanted to celebrate with lunch somewhere different. That search led my sister and I to MIAO at IOI Puchong Mall, a restaurant serving Miao cuisine from Guizhou China. I have heard of Sichuan, Hunan, Cantonese, and Yunnan cuisine, but Miao cuisine was completely new to me.

What Is Miao Cuisine?

I did some Googling and learned that Miao cuisine comes from Guizhou Province in southwest China and is closely associated with the Miao ethnic minority.

One of the defining characteristics of Guizhou cuisine is its use of sour flavours, often created from using fresh herbs, chillies and preserved ingredients, creating dishes that are flavourful without necessarily being overwhelmingly spicy.

Sour Fish Mini Hot Pot

The restaurant's signature dish is its Guizhou Sour Soup Fish Hot Pot, so naturally, that became the centrepiece of our meal.

The soup had a pleasant sourness that was quite different from the tom yum soups or assam-based broths that many Malaysians are familiar with. The flavour was lighter than I expected and became more enjoyable after a few mouthfuls.

The hot pot came with one whole freshwater fish, tofu skin, enoki mushrooms, and Chinese cabbage. Cooking everything at the table made the meal feel more festive, and the ingredients absorbed the flavour of the soup very nicely.

Stir-Fried Deer Mushrooms

Alongside the hot pot, we also ordered the Stir-Fried Deer Mushrooms. Despite the name, this dish contains mushrooms rather than deer meat. Apparently deer mushrooms are named after their appearance and are commonly used in Chinese cooking.

The mushrooms were stir-fried with garlic, leeks, and red and green chillies, giving the dish a savoury flavour with just enough heat. The texture was slightly chewy, making it a nice contrast to the softer ingredients in the hot pot.

The Drinks

We also ordered the Guizhou Specialty Tamarind Juice and the Signature Passion Fruit Drink. The tamarind juice had a pleasant balance of sweetness and tanginess, and the passion fruit drink was equally enjoyable and offered a lighter, fruitier option. But perhaps next time, I will opt for normal sweetness instead of the less sweet version.

Build Your Own Guizhou Ice Jelly Bowl

One of my favourite moments at the restaurant was the complimentary Guizhou Ice Jelly station.

You get to build your own jelly bowl by choosing from a selection of toppings. There were grass jelly, colourful jelly cubes, popping boba, red beans, mung beans, peanuts, crunchy toppings and various sweet syrups.

This was the highlight of the meal as I filled my bowl with a little bit of almost everything. The combination of chilled jelly, beans, crunchy toppings and syrup made for a refreshing dessert after the hot pot.

I thought this was a nice touch because it made the dining experience a little more interesting. Rather than serving everyone the same dessert, each person could customise their own bowl according to their preferences.

If you're feeling adventurous and would like to explore a different side of Chinese cuisine, MIAO is certainly worth considering.

A Master's Degree, A Family Photo, and an Unfinished Dream

2026-07-24T13:23:59.284+08:00

On paper, 22 July 2026 was my convocation day. I officially graduated with a Master of Marketing from Sunway Business School, Sunway University, through Sunway University Online, and received the Tan Sri Sir Jeffrey Cheah Scholastic Award for academic excellence.

More Than a Convocation Day

Emotionally, the day was never only about the scroll, the robe or the award. It was also about returning to an unfinished dream from 23 years ago and finally taking the family photo I once did not get to have.

I was not graduating as a fresh graduate in my early 20s but as a working mother in my mid-40s, with a husband, two children, work responsibilities, family commitments, and a very full life outside the classroom.

This was not the kind of academic journey where studying was the main thing I had to do. It was something I had to fit into the spaces between everything else.

So when the day finally came, it felt like more than a ceremony. It felt like visible proof of all the invisible effort that had taken place quietly behind the scenes.

The Photo I Did Not Have 23 Years Ago

One of the most personal reasons I wanted to pursue this postgraduate journey was not only academic; it was also emotional.

I wanted to wear the graduation robe and take a photo with my own family.

That may sound simple, but for me, it carried a memory from 23 years ago. When I completed my undergraduate studies at Universiti Malaya, I did not manage to take that graduation photo with my parents because life and circumstances were different back then. I moved on, as people do, but I think some unfinished things quietly stay with us even when we do not talk about them often.

Over the years, that small missing moment remained somewhere in my heart. It was not a dramatic regret, but it was there. A photo that never happened and a milestone that was completed but not fully captured with the people who mattered.

This time, I was certain I wanted a different ending.

I wanted my husband and children to be there. I wanted that photo not because I needed to prove anything to them, but because they are such a huge part of this season of my life. They are the people who live with the daily version of me, not only the polished version who appears on convocation day.

In a sense, when I finally wore the robe and took photos with them, it felt like I was not only celebrating the Master's degree. I was also gently closing a loop that had been open for more than two decades.

Studying Again as a Working Mother

Completing a Master's as a working mother in my mid-40s was no easy feat. I do not say this to make it sound more heroic than it was, but because it is important to acknowledge the reality behind adult learning.

Studying at this stage of life is different. You no longer have the luxury of being only a student. Your mind is constantly divided between work, family, health, responsibilities, deadlines, bills, meals, school runs, and the many invisible tasks that come with being an adult and a parent.

There were times when I had to switch quickly from work mode to study mode and then back into mother mode or when I had to finish up assignments when what I really wanted was sleep. I sometimes did wonder why I was doing this to myself when life was already busy enough.

But the honest answer is this: I love it.

I love the learning, thinking, analysing ideas, connecting patterns, asking better questions, and challenging myself academically throughout the journey. I love the feeling of stretching my mind and realising that I am still capable of growing in ways that are not limited by age, job title, family stage or life season.

In many ways, this Master's journey reminded me of a part of myself that has always been there, i.e., the part that enjoys studying not because it is easy but because it gives me a sense of meaning, and I love finding satisfaction in understanding something more deeply.

Why Academic Excellence Mattered to Me

Receiving the Tan Sri Sir Jeffrey Cheah Scholastic Award made this journey even more meaningful.

I know awards do not define a person's worth, and achievement is never the full measure of a life. But I would be dishonest if I said this recognition did not matter to me deeply.

There is something powerful about being recognised at this stage of life. In our 40s, many of us are already used to being responsible, capable and practical. We often do what needs to be done without expecting too much applause. We keep the household running, meet work deadlines, show up for our children, and manage the emotional load of many things at once.

So when recognition does come, it can touch a deeper place than we expect.

For me, the award was meaningful not because it made the journey valid, but because it reminded me that effort, discipline and persistence do matter. It reminded me that academic excellence was not something I had left behind in my younger years; I could still return to study, do it seriously, and complete it well.

It was an honour to receive the award on stage from Professor Dato' Elizabeth Lee, Group CEO of Sunway Education. That moment will stay with me for a long time.

More Than a Qualification

Looking back, this Master's journey gave me much more than a qualification.

It gave me confidence and intellectual energy and reminded me that learning is still one of the places where I feel most alive.

It helped me reconnect with a part of myself that enjoys academic challenge, critical thinking and the discipline of doing something properly.

It also made me wonder whether academia may be a path I can one day contribute to meaningfully. I do not know yet how that path will unfold, and I am not rushing to define everything too quickly. But I know that this journey has opened a door in me.

It has reminded me that some interests do not disappear simply because life becomes full. Some dreams do not expire. They simply wait for the right version of us to return.

Done and dusted, for now.

Once a Sunwayian, always a Sunwayian.

First Impressions of GloLab+ Dazzle Bloom and Dazzle Dew: A Malaysian Brand That Caught My Attention

2026-07-17T15:51:07.061+08:00

Over the past few weeks, I've somehow fallen into a Korean skincare rabbit hole. It started with writing about my surprisingly simple midlife skincare routine. That led me to researching trending Korean skincare ingredients such as niacinamide, ceramides, peptides, PDRN, EGF, NAD+, and skin longevity.

So when I came across GloLab+, a Malaysian skincare brand founded by three friends, I became curious. Not just because they are my friends, but because I wanted to know whether their formulation philosophy would align with everything I'm currently using.

A Quick Disclosure

Let me begin by saying that I know the founders of GloLab+ personally. However, this is not a paid collaboration. I bought the products on my own and no one asked me to write this article.

If anything, knowing them made me more hesitant to write about the products because I wanted to judge them on their own merits rather than on friendship.

Fortunately, after looking through the formulations and trying both products, I found myself evaluating them the same way I would evaluate any other skincare product that I own.

What Caught My Attention

One thing I've realised recently is that my interest in skincare has changed. These days, when I want to purchase any skincare product, I ask a few crucial questions, which were also the questions I had in mind when I looked at GloLab+.

Does it support the skin barrier?
Will I actually enjoy using it every day?
Does the formulation make sense?
Is it trying to improve skin health rather than simply promising perfect skin?

Dazzle Bloom All-in-One Skin Solution

Dazzle Bloom All-in-One Skin Solution is the first product launched by GloLab+. On paper, it combines several things that already appeal to me:

SPF50 PA++++ mineral sun protection
Ceramides (Ceramide AP, Ceramide AS, Ceramide EOP)
Hyaluronic acid
A lightweight, less greasy texture designed for daily wear

I'm a big believer in sunscreen, and I've become very convinced that sunscreen is still the single most important skincare product we use every day. Everything else is secondary.

What I appreciate about Dazzle Bloom is that it doesn't treat sunscreen as a separate afterthought. Instead, it incorporates barrier-supporting ingredients into a product that is already doing the most important job of protecting the skin from UVA and UVB damage.

The use of zinc oxide (a filter used widely in mineral sunscreen) also stood out to me. Usually, mineral sunscreens are often criticised for leaving a white cast or feeling heavy on the face, which is why I only use Korean sunscreens with chemical filters.

But Dazzle Bloom's formula manages to change my perception of mineral sunscreen. It remains comfortable enough for everyday use, without the feeling of excessive greasiness in Malaysia's hot and humid climate. See my testimonial below.

In summary, Dazzle Bloom simplifies your mornings by being a moisturiser + mineral sunscreen + glow primer.

Dazzle Dew Peptide Recovery Cream

The second product, Dazzle Dew Peptide Recovery Cream, interested me for a different reason. Rather than trying to be another "miracle anti-ageing cream", the formulation focuses on recovery, hydration, and skin resilience, which you could describe as 'recovery' instead of 'overcorrection'.

Looking at the ingredient philosophy, several familiar names immediately stood out.

Copper Tripeptide-1 – the star ingredient that seals the deal for me to use Dazzle Dew. Copper Tripeptide-1 is a widely respected peptide known for skin repair, collagen signalling, and wound healing.
Panthenol for soothing and hydration.
Niacinamide for barrier support and uneven skin tone.
Sodium hyaluronate and multiple humectants for lasting hydration.

Copper Tripeptide-1

Copper Tripeptide-1 is a peptide that has gained attention for its role in supporting skin repair and collagen production. It is often used in skincare products designed to improve skin firmness, elasticity, and overall resilience.

While it's not a miracle ingredient, I like that it aligns with the growing focus on helping the skin recover and function well over time rather than simply masking the visible signs of ageing.

As someone navigating midlife skin, that makes far more sense to me than chasing dramatic overnight transformations.

What I Appreciated Most

Interestingly, it wasn't any single ingredient that impressed me the most; it was the overall formulation philosophy. Neither product tries to overwhelm the user with every trending skincare buzzword. Instead, both products seem to prioritise skin barrier health, hydration, protection, and recovery.

That might not sound particularly exciting compared to products marketed around the latest viral ingredient. But after spending weeks reading about skin longevity, I've come to appreciate that healthy skin is often built on consistently doing the basics well.

The current skincare trend is becoming less about chasing flawless "glass skin" and more about maintaining healthy, resilient skin that functions well over time.

Perhaps that's why GloLab+ caught my attention. Although it is a Malaysian brand, the underlying philosophy feels surprisingly familiar: barrier support, hydration, protection, recovery. These are exactly the principles that have quietly reshaped the way I now think about skincare.

That's ultimately what I found most interesting about GloLab+, not because it's a Malaysian brand or because I know the founders. But because after weeks of exploring Korean skincare philosophies, I discovered something unexpectedly familiar a little closer to home.

GloLab+ Dazzle Bloom & Dazzle Dew Travel Kit

For those who travel frequently, GloLab+ has also put together a Dazzle Travel Kit containing miniature versions of Dazzle Bloom and Dazzle Dew. It follows the same uncomplicated approach that I appreciate: protect your skin during the day, support recovery at night, and keep your routine simple enough that you won't be tempted to skip it just because you're away from home.

Where to Buy Dazzle Bloom and Dazzle Dew

GloLab+ Official Store

GloLab+ Shopee

GloLab+ TikTok Shop

What Project Hail Mary Says About Courage, Life, and the Small Things That Matter

2026-07-12T15:39:04.768+08:00

Note: This image is created with the help of ChatGPT; please excuse how Rocky looks.

Project Hail Mary Is Not the Sci-Fi Movie You'd Expect

I watched Project Hail Mary expecting a sci-fi story about saving Earth from an extinction-level crisis. But what stayed with me was not the science or the mission. It was how the movie explored resilience and the kind of courage that was obviously absent at the beginning of the protagonist's story.

Dr Ryland Grace, the protagonist, is not introduced as a typical hero. Well, this is not a superhero movie. Yes, he is an intelligent and knowledgeable scientist, but he is also reluctant and clearly does not want to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He does not want to volunteer for a one-way ticket mission. He does not initially believe that being qualified means he must be willing to die.

That is why his eventual transformation towards the end of the movie is really meaningful. Initially you could call him a messed-up coward. But his bravery develops gradually, through circumstances that force him to decide what matters most when there are no easy options left.

Courage Does Not Always Begin With Willingness

One of the strongest parts of Grace's character arc is that he does not begin as a hero. He does not give a grand speech about saving humanity (ref: 1996 Independence Day movie), nor does he willingly step forward when asked to risk his life. In fact, he resists the idea because he understands exactly what the mission may cost him.

Image Credit: Cinemablend

His reluctance could easily have made him unlikeable, but instead it makes him more human. Most people would probably hesitate if they were told that their knowledge made them useful, but that using it could also mean never seeing Earth again.

Grace's fear is reasonable, and the movie does not treat self-preservation as a moral failure. As the movie progresses, what changes him is not a sudden personality shift. It is a series of decisions made under pressure, where he repeatedly chooses to continue solving the next problem even when he is afraid, uncertain, or physically exhausted.

By the time he has the opportunity to return to Earth, he is no longer the same person who initially refused to sacrifice himself. He has already endured isolation, memory loss, failure, danger, and the responsibility of knowing that billions of lives depend on what he does next. More importantly, he has formed a friendship with Rocky that becomes as real and important to him as his responsibility to Earth.

When Grace realises that Rocky may not survive the journey home, he is faced with a final decision. He can continue towards Earth and preserve his own chance of returning, or he can turn back and save his friend. This time, nobody forces him, nor is there an authority figure making the decision for him, and there is no guarantee that his sacrifice will be recognised.

He turns back because it is the right thing to do. That moment is powerful because Grace's courage is no longer theoretical. He makes the critical decision when it matters, even though it costs him his potential future back on Earth.

Fragile Yet Brave

Ryan Gosling's performance makes this transformation believable because he does not play Grace as someone who suddenly becomes fearless. Grace remains emotionally vulnerable, physically limited and sometimes overwhelmed by the situation he is in.

He panics, doubts himself, gets frustrated, and grieves. And yet, he continues. This combination of fragility and bravery is what gives the character emotional weight. Grace's courage exists alongside fear. He does not stop being afraid; he simply becomes capable of acting despite it.

There is something empowering about watching a character who does not fit the conventional image of a heroic saviour. Grace is not a soldier, an astronaut or an action hero. He is a scientist and a teacher who must use observation, logic, improvisation and persistence to survive.

His strength lies in his ability to keep thinking when circumstances become impossible. When he makes mistakes, he adapts. When his plans fail, he tries a different approach. His resilience is not dramatic in the usual cinematic sense but in the repeated act of trying again.

Rocky Is Not the Alien We Usually See

I also loved the way Rocky was designed and written. Sci-fi movies often rely on generally recognisable visuals when portraying alien life, such as grey or green skin, oversized eyes, humanoid bodies or insect-like features. They are also frequently presented as threats, invaders or predators whose existence immediately places humanity in danger.

Rocky is none of these things. He is not humanoid (well, in all fairness, he does look like an arachnid); his body, environment, language, and biology are genuinely alien. Yet despite those differences, his personality is immediately captivating.

Image Credit: Project Hail Mary Wiki

He is intelligent, curious, loyal, practical and capable of forming a deep emotional connection with Grace. Their friendship develops through shared work, mutual dependence, and the gradual construction of trust. They begin as two beings who cannot even communicate, yet they eventually become partners who understand one another beyond language.

The movie makes Rocky lovable by showcasing that friendship can form even when two lives are radically different. This is one of the most hopeful ideas in the story.

Life Is Not Always a Monster

Another aspect of Project Hail Mary that I found fascinating was the way the movie portrayed life itself.

The central threat is not an army of violent aliens. There is no hostile civilisation planning to invade Earth, and there are no giant creatures attacking cities. The crisis is caused by a microscopic life form known as the 'Astrophage' that feeds on stellar energy and gradually reduces the output of stars.

The solution is also microscopic. 'Taumoeba' is another single-celled organism, small enough to be overlooked yet powerful enough to change the fate of entire solar systems because it feeds on 'Astrophage'.

Image Credit: Geek Tyrant

This creates an interesting contrast with the way life is often portrayed in science fiction. Alien life is usually imagined as something large, visible and threatening. In Project Hail Mary, life exists at the smallest possible scale, but its consequences are enormous.

Astrophage is not evil. Taumoeba is not heroic. They are simply organisms behaving according to their biology. One consumes energy. The other consumes the first organism. Neither understands that planets, civilisations and billions of lives depend on their existence.

That simplicity makes the story more interesting because the survival of two intelligent species ultimately depends on understanding the behaviour of single cells.

Small Things Can Change Everything

Rocky says that "life is reason", and that idea runs through the entire movie. Life does not need to be physically large, technologically advanced or emotionally complex to have significance. Astrophage and Taumoeba are tiny organisms, but each one has the ability to change the future of entire worlds.

The same can be said of many of Grace's decisions. His story is shaped by a series of smaller choices, not in a dramatic, heroic way. He investigates, communicates, and trusts Rocky. At the very climax of the movie, he chooses to turn his ship around to save his best friend.

Each decision appears limited to the immediate problem in front of him, but together they determine the survival of Earth, Erid and Rocky.

This is perhaps the part of the movie that resonated with me the most. We often associate meaningful change with large gestures, major achievements or highly visible acts of courage. Yet many important outcomes begin with something smaller, such as one decision, or one piece of information, or one person refusing to give up.

Small does not mean insignificant. Sometimes the smallest element in a system becomes the one thing capable of changing everything.

Doing What Matters When It Becomes Necessary

By the end of the film, Grace has become the kind of person he initially did not believe himself capable of becoming.

He does not save two worlds because he always knows what to do. He saves them because he remains willing to learn what must be done next. He does not return to Earth as a celebrated hero. He chooses to remain on Erid, where he continues teaching and begins a life completely different from the one he left behind.

There is something fitting about that ending. Grace does not need public recognition to validate what he has done. His growth is already visible in the fact that he willingly chose responsibility, friendship and sacrifice when those choices became necessary.

That is what makes Project Hail Mary such a beautiful and powerful story.

Inside My First StyleKorean Mid-Year Beauty Box

2026-07-10T16:07:17.788+08:00

Buying My Birthday Present

As a woman in my mid-40s, I have shifted my skincare usage to increasingly focus on hydration, pigmentation care, a healthy skin barrier, and healthier ageing. I'm always curious to discover Korean skincare products that might fit into my simple routine.

I came across StyleKorean's beauty box through a friend's social media post. I was instantly intrigued, and since June is my birthday month, I decided to treat myself to StyleKorean's Mid-Year June Beauty Box.

Aside from buying myself a birthday present, the combination of well-known Korean skincare brands, attractive pricing, and the element of surprise finally convinced me to place my first order from StyleKorean.

So, long story short, this isn't going to be a traditional unboxing or a product-by-product review. I haven't tested everything yet, and I don't think it would be fair to make claims after only opening the box.

Instead, I'm going to share what's inside my very first StyleKorean beauty box, along with my first impressions and the products I'm most excited to try. Cool?

What Is the StyleKorean Mid-Year Beauty Box?

For anyone unfamiliar with it, StyleKorean occasionally releases limited-edition beauty boxes featuring a curated selection of Korean skincare and beauty products.

Rather than purchasing individual items, buyers receive a box containing multiple full-sized products from different brands at a significantly lower price than buying them separately.

Part of the appeal is discovering brands or products that you may never have considered purchasing on their own. It's a little like opening a lucky draw, except you already know the products have been carefully selected by a retailer that specialises in Korean beauty.

They actually have a July version now called the StyleKorean Bestie Pink Box!

Why I Finally Decided to Buy One

First, let me reiterate that I'm not a beauty blogger. But it's my birthday in June, and honestly, curiosity got the better of me.

Also, the value looked good, there were several brands I already recognised, and I thought it would be a fun way to discover products outside my usual shopping list.

Sometimes it's nice to let someone else curate the experience.

I was pleasantly surprised by how straightforward the ordering process was, and the package arrived well protected.

Then came the fun part: the unboxing! Opening the box felt surprisingly exciting. Even though I already knew the list of products, seeing everything neatly arranged in front of me somehow made the purchase feel worthwhile.

Another advantage of buying a beauty box is that it gives me plenty of options without feeling pressured to use everything immediately.

Everything Inside My Mid-Year June Box

One of the first things I noticed was the variety. Instead of receiving products from just one brand, the box included skincare from several Korean beauty brands covering different steps of a skincare routine.

Some were brands I had already used before, while others were completely new to me.

Numbuzin No. 9 NAD Retinal Volumetox Eye Cream
Dr.Althea Melaclear Cream
VT Cosmetics PDRN Capsule Cream
SKIN1004 Madagascar Centella Tone Brightening Capsule Ampoule
haruharu wonder Black Rice Probiotics Barrier NAD+ Serum Mist
Medicube Red Acne Body Peeling Shot
moev Annurcatin Hair Tonic
Foodology Coleology Cutting Jelly
Dr.Ceuracle Pro Balance Night Enzyme Wash
SUNGBOON EDITOR Deep Collagen Power Boosting Cream In Serum
iUNIK Beta Glucan Power Moisture Serum
Mary&May Spicule Collagen 1000 PDRN Cream
heimish Ever Glow Glaze Colour Balm

That's probably one of the biggest attractions of these beauty boxes. They allow you to try products that you might otherwise overlook while shopping individually.

As I unpacked everything, a few products stood out almost immediately. Some appealed to me because of their ingredients. Others simply looked like they would fit naturally into my existing skincare routine.

Since I'm now in my mid-40s, I tend to gravitate towards products that focus on hydration, skin barrier support, pigmentation, and maintaining healthy-looking skin rather than chasing dramatic anti-ageing promises. You can check out my simple routine for midlife skin.

I'm particularly interested in ingredients such as niacinamide, peptides, ceramides, panthenol, hyaluronic acid, tranexamic acid, and vitamin C. The latest buzzword, PDRN, has also made its way onto this list. Learn more about the Korean skincare ingredients I'm using and watching in 2026.

Whenever I see products featuring these ingredients, they usually move closer to the front of my "to try" list.

Highlight: Foodology Coleology Cutting Jelly

One product that immediately caught my attention was Foodology Coleology Cutting Jelly. What I like about its inclusion is that it reminds us beauty isn't just skin deep. You need good nutrients / supplements too.

Foodology Coleology Cutting Jelly is a low-calorie Korean jelly supplement that's taken after meals to help manage cravings, support digestion, and reduce carbohydrate absorption. I thought it was a thoughtful addition to the box.

Was the Beauty Box Worth Buying?

Yes! Not because I expect every single product to become a permanent favourite, but because the overall experience was genuinely enjoyable.

The box introduced me to brands I haven't explored before, gave me products I probably wouldn't have purchased individually, and offered good value compared to buying everything separately.

Sometimes the enjoyment comes from the discovery itself rather than finding one miracle product.

Would I Buy Another StyleKorean Beauty Box?

I probably would, although not every release. The theme, participating brands and product selection would still influence my decision.

This first purchase helped me understand why these limited-edition boxes have developed such a loyal following.

For someone like me who enjoys Korean skincare but doesn't constantly shop for new launches, a curated beauty box offers a refreshing way to discover new products without spending hours deciding what to buy.

I'll probably revisit this box again in a few months to share which products earned a permanent place in my skincare routine. Until then, this first unboxing has been a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

Note: This is an honest purchase and not a sponsored collaboration. All opinions are based on my own first impressions after purchasing the StyleKorean Mid-Year June Beauty Box.