I have wanted to write to you for a while now to let you know what I’m up to, what’s happening with me since I last wrote to you.

At the end of June, when I returned from my solo journey in the Balkans, I realized a huge shift had happened within me. The person who left was not the person who returned. I needed time and space to sort things out for myself. All I wanted to do was stop everything I was doing and focus on finding my deeper truth.

In the Balkans, I experienced how valuable freedom, joy, exploration, and discovery are to me, how much I need variety and spontaneity in my life. I also longed to stop pushing and ‘shoulding’ myself. This is what I’ve been exploring for the last several months.

Another thing I discovered on my journey is how much joy I can experience in really simple things…sitting on the banks of the Grand Canal in Venice and partaking of the unique sights, sounds and smells around me. Hiking around Plitvice Lakes in Croatia, surrounded by luscious turquoise waters. Delighting in the stunning Alpine scenery from my balcony in Lake Bohinj, Slovenia. Savoring the brilliant colors in the harbor of small village of Cres, Croatia.

In those moments, I experienced such deep, abiding joy and contentment within me and a certain knowing I had everything I needed in that moment.

Since my time in the Balkans, I’ve been hanging out, doing what I feel called to do as much as I can in each moment. I’ve found deeper joy and connection with my family, more inner peace – a LOT more inner peace – and way more relaxed! I’ve stepped out of ‘achiever mode’ and am exploring ‘being.’

Plus, in October, Doug and I spent two glorious weeks in Brazil where we made like the locals – chilled and enjoyed the simple pleasures of the moment…delicious fresh fruit, watching the waves, sleeping in.

And, in the midst of all this, in the background of my mind, I’ve wondered if I would ever do anything again. What if I ran out of things to do? What if I couldn’t find what I was seeking? What if I couldn’t find anything I wanted to do? What about all these ideas about children and relationships that I kept feeling the urge to share?

I’ve done my best to trust myself and my process in all of this, to give myself time. I can feel the tide begin to turn inside me. Something new and joyous is coalescing inside of me…the possibility of new ways to share the ideas about raising children and partnering that have been so valuable in my life and those I have guided.

I sit here now, knowing change is in the wind, as I explore new possibilities for adventure in the world and in sharing the information I feel such passion to share. As I get clearer, I will let you know more.

As always, I would love to hear from you, how you are doing, your joys as well as your challenges and questions about bringing out the best in yourself, your child, and your partner. Our families are our richest and most profoundly important treasure of our lives. What do you want to enjoy more with your family?

I wish you and the family you cherish a most joyous, fulfilling, and loving of holidays!

Here is a link to the recording of a radio interview I did last year about “Reducing Stress with Your Family during the Holidays.’ I hope you enjoy it!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/womensjournaltalkradio/2010/12/16/survive-holiday-family-stress-with-joy

I look forward to hearing from you and connecting with you again soon.

Happy Trails!

To your Joyous Family!

Connie

On Tuesday morning I left Rovinj in Croatia and made my way to Divaca, a much smaller village than I expected in Slovenia. I came here wanting to see two things – the Lippizan Stud Farm where the breed began about 600 years ago and Skocgian Cave.

My guidebook said there were taxis to take me to the horse farm, although I quickly discovered there are no taxis in Divaca! Things suddenly became more difficult, and I felt certain there had to be a way to make this happen. I spoke with the desk clerk where I’m staying, and she quickly arranged to have their cook give me a ride there on her way home.

This fun amazing woman came out, locked arms with me and led me to her car as if we were old friends. She speaks almost no English and yet we still managed to have a fun interaction together.

Then the afternoon clerk at Gostilna Malcovec – Sebastian – picked me up at the horse farm took me back and on the way offered to  drop me off at the cave for the last tour of the day. Didn’t want a penny and his English is brilliant. He kept telling me it was no problem. I was touched by everyone’s generosity!

I loved seeing the gorgeous, beautifully-trained horses and seeing them perform. They brought tears to my eyes.

The cave – way over the top of any cave I’ve ever been in!! It’s a living cave with a deep river roaring through the lower levels. I was blown away by it’s massive caverns and overall size. I didn’t want to leave and kept wishing my family could see it. It is definitely worth going out of the way to see. I have a couple of photos from the brochure and it’s so huge a photo cannot do it justice, only hint at what is there. One of the big highlights of my trip so far. That and the amazing staff at the hotel. I couldn’t believe their generosity and joy in serving.

Tomorrow at 10am I take a train – supposedly the most beautiful route in all Slovenia, up into the Julian Alps at Lake Bohinj. Another home-stay for 25 Euros.

Delicious, inexpensive dinner of authentic Slovenian food. Dessert was excellent! Gibenice – I am going to look for a recipe online. Healthy ingredients and not very sweet.

Wednesday – I had a fun train ride to Lake Bohinj here in the mountains. Spent much of the time talking with a young Slovenian woman who wants to teach kindergarten and travel…we have lots in common.

My home stay that I intuitively chose online is perfect! My room has a balcony with a gorgeous view of the mountains and everything is beautiful and set up for my comfort. I have so loved staying in people’s homes this trip. There are so many available here in the Balkans.

Ribcev Laz – where I am – is a quiet village with everything I need including free internet at the tourist office. Another version of paradise for me!

Having a FANTASTIC time! Time to go enjoy my beautiful room.

Happy trails!

Last Thursday – I walked at Plitvice Lakes National Park for about 6 hours. It is a huge, beautiful, not-to-be-missed series or lakes, waterfalls, and water literally rushing everywhere in Croatia. It was glorious and so nice to have some quality water time, being a Pisces. It was everywhere and it was that gorgeous turquoise color that comes with limestone. It was breathtaking. Plus there were many times at the upper lakes where I had to trail all to myself. Nature and the power of water were delightfully present, and I kept finding wonderful people I could chat with for a few brief moments.

I was exhausted when I returned to my lovely pension where they have treated me like family and have done so much to make my stay wonderful

Then Friday morning I caught a bus at 6:45am. Three buses later and I am now on the lovely, peaceful island of Cres in a small village of about 2000. I have a large room in a private home with a lovely garden- about $40 per night.

My plan for the weekend is a slow pace, seeing the griffon vultures, some hiking, swimming and sunbathing, and relaxing. Every day I get my traveling legs stronger under me, and I am feeling more confident in dealing with the great unknown. 

All my bopping around from place to place and making up my own itinerary has made managing public transport a little more complicated than usual although I am getting to do and go everywhere I want. Monday morning at 9am I take a catamaran from Cres back to the mainland, spend one night in Rovinj on the coast then head to the cave and Lipizzan Stud Farm in Slovenia for 1.5 days.. It’s simply my good intentions that are getting me to places without really much hassle. Just takes more figuring out as I go and asking more questions.

I hope to check in again from Rovinj. I am now at the halfway point of my adventure. It feels as if I have been gone a long time because I have done so much, and I look forward to all that I  will get to do in Slovenia and Venice.

Happy trails!

Everything went well today, even though it had a couple of interesting moments. BTW,  I sprained my foot a few days ago and you would never know it now. It feels perfect…100%

Hard to leave my new friends – hotel staff – in Sarajevo. They were sad to see me go. They took such great care of me when I  had to stay off my foot for a day.

Bus ride to Jajce went well. When I got off the bus and walked into town, everywhere I went had no rooms available. I was thinking I might have to get on the next bus to my next destination about 4 hours away – arriving about 8 or 9pm in a bigger city. Didn’t sound inviting.

People kept directing me to ask the next place, most of which seemed to be uphill, to ask if they knew a place. I was about to give it up. Was tired of lugging my bags, probably about 28 – 30 pounds, uphill. A man who works in one of the two main hotels in town told me I probably wouldn’t find anything as there was a big national film festival in town all week.

Then, presto!!,  a German speaking woman had a room for one person in her home hostel. And it works!! It’s only about 6 feet wide and it’s clean, in good condition, large window, clean shared bath, seemingly filled with guys, 15 Euros, safe and do-able for one night. Plus she’s fixing breakfast just for me one hour early so I can have breakfast and catch my bus at 8am!!

Can’t beat the price! Then I saw a man from Canada that I had dinner with at the hostel in Mostar staying in same place so if he feels good enough, we’ll have dinner together. It’s all worked out perfectly. A day in the life of independent travel.

I needed more Bosian marks and made it to the bank 2 or 3 minutes before they close and my bus is at 8:20am so I really needed that money.

After exploring the medieval fortress at the top of a high hill, and the atmospheric catacombs where apparently Tito hid for a while in 1945, I bought some delicious cheese from a modern, very Western, supermarket. And they had 70% dark chocolate bars. Yummm!  I’m getting all my essential food groups!! 

Then as I’m walking home, two imams begin to sing the call to prayer from different locations in town. I sat down and enjoyed listening.

Tomorrow I catch two buses and head back into Croatia to visit Pritvice National Park. You might enjoy Googling it so you can see the photos.

As you can tell, it has a been a full day!!

I have spent the last 4 days here in Sarajevo, a city of contrasts, with a history steeped in WWI, Yugoslavia and Tito, the 1984 Winter Olympics, and the Serbian siege in the early 90′s. The weather here has been quite pleasant and this is supposed to be the coolest, wettest destination on my trip.

I spent much of today exploring the city,  trying to understand the complexity of life in Bosnia during the fighting in the early 90′s and life today. Trying to blend so many religions and cultures with so much attachment to the pain of the past in order to build a beautiful future…they are flourishing and struggling.

Ah, the imam  is singing the call to prayer. It’s 8:30pm. The first call was this morning at 4:30!! I always love it-even at 4:30am!!

Tomorrow I go to a small town with lots of medieval roots to spend the night then on to Plitvice Lakes National Park in Croatia for one night, doing my best to avoid the tourist crowds in mid-day. Then to Cres Island to relax for a few days, enjoy the beach, explore and see the rare and recently re-introduced Griffin Vultures.

Ah, now a young imam-in-training is singing the call to prayer! He has such a beautiful voice!!

I am sad to leave Sarajevo, a compelling city about the size of San Francisco built on the banks of the Miljacka River and picturesquely climbing the steep, green mountains on both sides. A city of people who are quick to smile, of profound resilience and inner strength, who seek a Western life style, and enjoy leisure at the many sidewalk cafes.

A city filled with mosques, Orthodox and Catholic churches, and Jewish temples. Buildings with bullet and shrapnel holes that have not been rebuilt. Here is a link with more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Sarajevo

Today I saw the 800 meter tunnel the people of Sarajevo built under the airport runway that allowed food, weapons, electricity and phone lines into the city during the approximately 1400-day siege by the Serbs. I also saw the Holiday Inn where media reporters stayed as they reported the events of that siege.

I have felt so safe here and have seen local women of all ages walking past my hotel window in the darkness. Crime is almost non-existent.

Time to pack my bag and get some sleep so I can be rested for my early 3-hour bus ride in the morning.

I have been gone one week today! My time has been so full it feels longer than that. And I have so many places yet to explore before I return home.

Joy to you and your family!!

Great day today! Excellent night’s sleep…I passed out after staying up after my overnight flight. I feel rested today although my body gets tired fairly quickly walking all the hills around here.

Dubrovnik is pretty touristy so it detracts somewhat from my really seeing it – lots of people eating delicious Croatian ice cream, stores for shopping, and sidewalk cafe’s everywhere.

Walked the 2km wall around Dubrovnik last night…best way to see the walled old town. Beautiful views over Adriatic and few people since it was later in the day. Another great view of the city was from the plane as we were coming in for a landing. I lucked out and was on the right side of the plane.

Heard there were two cruise ships coming today so I caught a bus out to Trsteno Gardens about 30 minutes from town. Quiet except for two Brits with whom I enjoyed exploring the gardens and walking down and back up the harbor far below. Fun sharing travel stories with the great British sense of humor. In the 70′s, they drove with a few other people from London to South Africa and back. Can you imagine??

Glad I’m here. Will re-enter northern Croatia after I go to Mostar, Bosnia, tomorrow and then on to Sarajevo the next day. I’m loving this adventurous trip!

The people tend to be serious-looking, not friendly or happy, and curt with their answers to my innocent questions. I can feel the presence of war in people’s lives.

And they can be so sweet and out-going, such as the people where I’m staying and the man I met walking to the bus station and he spontaneously offered me a large fresh apricot from the market I had just passed.

I’ve been tracking the news and have not seen anything significant I should avoid in Bosnia that I’ve already visited.

Gotta go. There’s a museum War Photo Limited nearby which comes highly recommended although intense. Hopefully I’m not setting myself for a bad time. Will see.

Happy trails to all of you!!

Do you ever feel swamped in plastic toys that have a way of multiplying when you turn your back?

Then they hold your child’s attention only moments until he is on to the next thing?

Most children have too many toys in general; and most of these toys do not encourage or support children’s optimum play.

Webster defines a ‘toy’ as “an object, often a small representation of something familiar for children to play with; a plaything.” I find this definition somewhat limiting, especially when the definition of ‘play’ is “an activity engaged in for recreation, as by children.”

Children do have fun playing; however, for them it is more than simple recreation. Play is serious business for them.

Play is the way children learn, which means children love and enjoy learning. This is their natural state, a perpetual state of exploring, experimenting, and discovering, and learning. They LOVE it!!

(This is important to remember when we see what happens to children’s love of learning when they participate in most educational programs. I wrote more about this in a recent post How Children Learn Best) http://www.joyousfamilyliving.com/children/how-children-learn-best/

Because play is essential to their optimal development, it is important to provide learning environments that nurtures your child’s full potential to learn. This is where ‘real toys’ come in.

Real toys are real-life objects, such as measuring spoons and cups, lids, jars, rocks, bungee cords. Often the seemingly mundane of objects of life hold great fascination for them.

Older children love much the same materials. What’s different is the complexity and skill with which they use them.

If you observe your child when he is playing, you’ll discover the skills he is developing that motivate him to keep learning.

One of Bas’s favorite activities is collecting things from my desk and seeing what he can create with them. These include my stapler and staple puller, scratch paper, 3 by 5 cards, scissors, tape, pens, markers.

Last week in our backyard, he balanced bricks on a piece of wood, then used it as a lever, then used what he’d made to build a house for Mouse-Mouse. (I’m not sure where he got this name.)

Fifteen minutes later, he’s in another section of our backyard and using redwood needles to build a castle, which he promptly destroyed. Then he decided to build a bridge across a narrow rut using a redwood twig and discovered that it was too short to span the distance.

Then he hunted around and found a couple of longer sticks. Woo-la! He built two bridges!

And so it goes from one exploration – creation to the next and not a single plastic ‘toy’ touched!

Children love real objects. They love materials they can manipulate and which they can use in diverse ways.

Traditional toys, plastic toys, often lack options for creativity and self-expression. They have limited function and learning potential to your child. Once she masters whatever learning is in the toy, she loses interest.

Once you realize your child uses toys for discovery and self-expression, you’ll easily understand your child’s limited attention to these toys.

So next time you consider buying your child something from the toy store, no matter how cute, colorful, or invitingly displayed, take a moment and consider it’s learning and self-expression potential for your child. Many buttons that make different sounds has little potential for either learning or self-expression for your child.

Invest wisely in few toys that give your child hours of exploring and discovery, and remember every-day objects provide optimal learning and self-expression for your child. You can put your wallet away!

While you’re at it, tell your family and friends what you toys you want for your child, especially during the holidays and for his birthday.

Please share with me and other parents what ‘real toys’ your child loves best. What is a toy you purchased for her that enjoyed for a long time? What did she lose interest in quickly?

Your child is such great teacher for you – if you will simply watch her with an openness and willingness to learn. By observing what she does, she will teach you so much about who she is, what she needs and wants from you to develop into who she wants to be

He will also teach you about being who you are and living a full life – if you are willing to learn from him, if you allow him to be who he is.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them
like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
– Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Okay, we had a great time in Mendocino over Easter weekend. I tried to choose just a few photos and I simply could not post any fewer. I love so many of them!

I love sharing my family with you!

Some of you may know of her or have read her book. Some of you will never have heard of her.

I discovered Jean Liedloff, author of The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost, shortly after my son Orion was born 35 years ago. Her book profoundly impacted me because she confirmed and validated what I already envisioned as a parent.

She inspired me and gave me the courage to continue on the path I had begun. For this, I am deeply appreciative.

For two years as a young woman, Jean lived with Stone Age Indians in the South American rainforest. At first judgmental of their seemingly primitive and inadequate parenting, she discovered a new view of what human nature really is and what our children most need from us. She realized the limitations of our Western, ‘civilized’ ways of parenting.

Here is a must-see video that will most-likely challenge what you believe to be true as a parent and give you profound new insights in perceiving your child. Even if you are the parent of a teen or an adult child, you can learn a lot from this wise woman of our time.

The video is 53 minutes, and it is worth every second. Don’t let this go by! Create a time this weekend to watch it all. Share it with your partner. Let it make a difference in your life!

Watch the video here.

Enjoy!