Screeb - Bipolar Perceptions

Is Screeb alive, and who is this Obama guy?

J. Screeb — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:58:27 +0000

Technorati Tags: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Election 2008

Thank you to everyone who has sent me messages asking if I was alright, since it has been a while since the last post. To that guy who thought I killed myself, not a chance. The reason for the leave of absence was a severe low, or rather a depressed mental state. I had no motivation to write or blog about anything, and I became even more of a recluse. Many people have told me to have a successful blog, you have to blog every day or even a couple times a day. I really don’t care, and I’m not looking for a successful blog. The reason I write is to get thoughts out of my head and onto paper, as part of my own self-therapy. To those people who write me with their bipolar horror stories, my heart goes out to you. I am far from an expert and don’t always know how I can help, but I will try to answer when I can. For the most part, I am a somewhat unstable person trying to make it through the world myself. The good news is more posts are coming, for I’m out of the depression. It might only be a couple a week, but if you’re a fan of the site, I doubt you’ll mind.

So what have I missed in the last month? How about this Obama guy? I haven’t cared about politics before or even registered to vote. Maybe it is because our Country is so screwed up, but for some reason this election has captured my attention with the democratic race, and now I’m investigating John McCain. My feeling was that Hillary was a wrong choice, and I think it’s a good thing Obama won. I am not for McCain or Obama at this point, for I need to investigate further. The one thing that does interest me is how Obama is utilizing the media to the fullest for this election. The internet campaigning and utilization of YouTube is quite ingenious. I don’t believe the internet has been used to it’s full potential in an election to this point. Now that the power is unleashed, we will see every candidate doing the same thing. McCain will even step up and start using it more. This is a good thing, and it will help to get the facts and viewpoints of the candidates out to the citizens.

What does the future hold? I would love to see the ability to vote over the internet. I’ll probably register to vote this year and do it, but wouldn’t it be great if we could jump on the computer and plug in our social security number on a government site? Look at American Idol, and how 90 million people vote for singers using text messaging. I feel the impact would be great, if voting utilized phones, text messages, and the internet. There is the downside, where the voting can be more about voting for a candidate without knowing the facts. In the end, the benefits will greatly outweigh the downside. Lets continue to watch the election and make the right choice, and hopefully our new president can fix all of the mistakes that Frat boy Bush made!

Idiots on the streets of Philadelphia

J. Screeb — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:21:17 +0000

Technorati Tags: Philadelphia, road rage, driving, rant

Everywhere I go, I experience terrible drivers on the streets of Philadelphia. When a red light changes, it is expected that three cars run it. I’m complaining about people who are so stupid, they shouldn’t be allowed their driver’s license. I have two great examples which happened in the past day, from my jaunts around town.

I was driving behind this crazy Puerto Rican bitch who was swerving so badly that I thought she was drunk. It was a single lane, so I stayed back since it was apparent she was going to hit a sign or a car. It was rush hour traffic on the way home, and all I could see in the back seat were the heads of two kids with afro puffs. Finally, the single lane switched to double lanes and I zipped past her to get the hell away. As I passed by, I looked over and realized she wasn’t drunk but just stupid. She was talking on a cell phone in one hand and a lollipop in her mouth. I couldn’t believe it, and then she looked over at me with her mouth half open. She looked exactly like a retard, and ironically there was drool visible. Being a dumb cunt, I flipped her off and sped on.

My adventure got better as I approached home. I was at a four way stop sign and it was busy with traffic. At the stop sign in front of me were two vehicles side by side, and apparently the driver’s are friends. They had their windows down, and were chatting away. Traffic to my right and left kept moving through the intersection, for there wasn’t an obstacle in their way. I honked my horn at the morons, and the response almost made me get out of my car and open a can of road rage. One of the vehicles was a truck, that had a volunteer firefighter light on the roof. You know, one of those lights cops have, but on a junior level. The asshole put on his firefighter light, and continued to sit there chatting. By now, horns are blaring from 5 or 6 cars behind me. After three minutes, they wrapped up the conversation and were on their way.

I understand that people don’t really care about others anymore. Aren’t these great examples of idiots who are endangering people and creating hazards on the roads? This all happened in one day, and happens all the time on the roads in Philadelphia. The moral of the story is to please be respectful of your fellow drivers, and the safety of your own children in your car. Not just for safety reasons, but for the fact that one of these days I am going to snap and just ram my car into your car!

Happy 420, most of our country is high on weed all day!

J. Screeb — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:13:51 +0000

Technorati Tags: marijuana, 420, weed, legalization

This evening, you will observe a lot of people at the grocery store randomly buying bags of chips and other junk food. Their eyes will be bloodshot, and they might smell of a similar strange fragrance. To the normal person this might appear odd, but the rest of us know that today is a celebration for folks who smoke marijuana. April 20th is dubbed a marijuana holiday in our drug culture, where people get together and smoke cannabis. To summarize, there are a ton of people out there today who will be high. I didn’t realize the holiday had arrived, until I saw a group of my neighbors on their back porch last night firing up around 1am. Then it made sense, and I remembered the times when I would be one of those people getting high on 4/20. Yes, I have smoked weed in the past and have a strong preference for it. I was quite the pothead, smoking up to an estimated 5-6 times daily. I fondly remember 4/20 on my senior year of college, where my girlfriend at the time and I smoked 8 grams of hydro that day (marijuana grown in water, and highly potent).

I don’t smoke marijuana anymore, but have been known to occasionally smoke it with a friend if it’s available. It has been around 8 months since I last got high, and I don’t really have any desire to smoke anymore. In my unstable condition, it can trigger a panic attack and I have been emitted to the hospital while high because I thought I was dying. That was one of the most embarrassing experiences I’ve ever had. Imagine calling your father, and telling him you’re high as shit and you need him to drive you to the hospital because your heart is going to explode. Lets just say, the disappointment on his face stayed for over a month. I try to stay away from the stuff, for I’ve had a total of 2 severe panic attacks while on marijuana. My feelings are that weed is a safe drug, that if used correctly can be relaxing. A lot of times, people become dependent on it as I did, to escape the real world on a consistent basis. Imagine looking back on your life, and not really remembering what you did over the last 6 months? The great thing is, in the moment it causes time to go slowly, so 3 hours could seem like a full day.

Do I think marijuana should be legalized? I sure do, but I feel there should be age restrictions as with alcohol. To legally smoke weed, you should be 21 years old and the government should regulate the sale and distribution. In our current drug environment, a lot of the pot is being laced with other drugs to make it more addictive so addicts will buy more from the dealers. Marijuana can be laced with ecstasy, pcp, or other harmful and addictive drugs. Weed itself is not that addictive, but combined with other narcotics can be like smoking crack. This is where legalization of marijuana can protect smokers, and focus our police forces on more severe narcotics such as heroin and cocaine. Besides, which is more harmful to the body, marijuana or alcohol in the long run? Being 420, please comment (anonymously if you prefer) this post with your marijuana stories and tales of today. I will leave you with a final thought, of a great saying I heard back in college. “God made pot and man made beer, who do you trust?”

420 Cannabis Culture

Myspace deleted my profile and all 2200 friends, I’m furious!

J. Screeb — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 19:22:17 +0000

Technorati Tags: Myspace, spam, customer service

Do you realize how pissed off I was when I returned home from work, to discover my profile on Myspace was deleted? I use my profile to stay in contact with friends and readers that I’ve made through the blog. Over 2200 friends were gone, with no way to reach them again. I sent a email to Myspace customer support, which resulted in a dead end. I received a generated response telling me how to reset my password, with no attempt to actually answer my questions about the problem. I’ve had friends who were locked out of Myspace, and the response was a painful process of taking a picture of yourself holding a sign with your account ID number on it. Myspace customer service is difficult, and I imagine Tom and two friends drinking beer and randomly answering emails.

So why was my profile deleted? Since no real response was provided from Myspace, I can only speculate that I was a causality of the online war against spam. Friends and readers often send me comments and messages, and I try to respond to most with a response through comments. I always include my blog button, and a link to jscreeb.com. Obviously, Myspace has software that detects this, and registers comments as spam when found on various profiles. Had I known this was the case, I wouldn’t have included my “signature” on my comments. As we all know, there are tons of spammers on Myspace who send out random friend requests and comments with advertisements. Myspace should send out an email as a warning, or at least to confirm that it’s a real person before deleting an account. I received no notice, or any kind of explanation… my profile was just gone. The profile is up again, and from now on I will be more careful with my comments. If you were linked up before, or would like to friend me on Myspace please send a request. I will gladly accept, but don’t be upset if I don’t comment you back as freely as before!

http://www.myspace.com/jscreeb

Thrown from roof of moving minivan, and runs naked along bypass

J. Screeb — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 03:35:04 +0000

Technorati Tags: drug abuse, mental illness, car accident

This story unfolds this week in Reading, PA and is one of the most unbelievable and ridiculous stories I have ever heard. To summarize, a man was driving route 422 in Reading doing 55 mph. He proceeded to climb out his window onto the roof of his minivan, where I assume he was “surfing”. The van lost control and he was thrown over an embankment, which motorists witnessed and assumed he was dead. Suddenly, the man appeared with a huge gash in his side that exposed his organs. He proceeded to take off his clothes, and run naked down the side of route 422. Police arrived, and couldn’t subdue him with 3 taser hits and pepper spray. Instead, the police had to tackle him to control him and get him to the hospital, where he is now in critical condition. Similar to beer muscles, this man had “drug muscles” which can be even scarier.

This article was a good read, at some points I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. At other points, you feel terrible for this guy and hope he ends up being alright. Regardless, it is a highly interesting story that you find almost unbelievable when first reading through. I would have thought it was a joke if not for the credible source of the article. The story is insane leading up to the crash, but the real shocker is what happened afterwards when the gentleman should have been dead.

“Witnesses told police that the man then climbed up an embankment, stripped naked and ran several hundred yards down the busy highway bleeding from a foot-long gash in his side”.

He should have been dead, and with organs exposed he had the ability to pull off streaking down the highway! I wonder what drugs he was on, whether it be Cocaine or Speed… or maybe a combination. He probably didn’t feel anything from the crash, and didn’t know what was really happening. During my bout with Bipolar, I went through a 2 year period I call the dark ages. Basically, I was usually high and my behavior was leading me to the gates of hell. I can’t imagine being so high that I would climb onto the roof of my vehicle speeding down the highway. We assume the worse of this man with drug use, but mental illness could play into the story. Most likely high and in a hallucinogenic state, he probably felt outside of his own body. This gentleman has a long road ahead of him, and will probably be sentenced to a state hospital. Dealing with the rock bottom of a mental disease or drug abuse is difficult, but sometimes an incident like this will help an individual turn their life around. It is quite a story to tell your grandchildren, of surfing on the roof of a moving car and running around naked on a bypass!

Full Article by the Reading Eagle - “Reading man falls from roof of his moving minivan, runs naked along bypass”

Hallucinations, a reaction to medication or my mind?

J. Screeb — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 03:25:52 +0000

Technorati Tags: hallucination, mental illness, medication

Am I hallucinating from the bipolar medication I am on, or am I just hallucinating? This is the question I asked myself as I observed the soda drop from the machine. In a typical office morning ritual, I was getting my caffeine buzz to wake up from the effects of the Seroquel that knocks me out at night. As I pushed the button, it was a slow motion flash that went through my mind. The soda can appeared almost surreal, and my thought were of the 1700’s and 1800’s. Would people of that era be amazed at a feat like this? Simply inserting a piece of paper into a mechanism, which results in a good being produced. Think of what people of that time had to do to get a simple good? Most products were made at home, with far more exertion and effort on part of the consumer. I bet in their wildest dreams, they would have never thought this possible. Let alone operating a machine to download “Amateur Anal Attempts 8″, in order to fulfill a sick and twisted fantasy in the midnight hours. It was a trance that I was thrown into, and all of these thoughts ran though my head in the matter of seconds. As I walked away from the soda machine, I thought of how odd the experience was.

Now it is 6:00 pm, and I’m waiting for my sub to be made at Wawa. It’s taking forever, and the pimply faced teenagers are behind the counter rushing to make order #13 (how unlucky, ironically it gave me indigestion too). I snapped into a trance, and just pictured the teenagers and what they were really about. Full of germs, leaning over the macaroni and sliced meat. The 17 year old kid whose face looked like it was attacked by an electric sander was particularly interesting. As he worked, I just stared and pondered about the germs associated with his acne. Essentially, his face was a giant palette of infections. Don’t think I’m cruel, I grew up with acne and feel for his suffering. It is difficult to pull yourself out of bed in the morning, and know that every person who gazes at you observes a face full of imperfection. It wasn’t about his acne, it was more about the hallucinative state of germ awareness I was in. It was as if I was viewing the world through a germ phobics eyes. Next, my attention was turned towards the girl working behind the counter. She obviously has a problem with eating too many shorti’s, or has a thyroid problem. I feel bad for her whenever I stop by, and how she won’t get laid until she reaches her 20’s. Boys her age will definitely hook-up easily, but she would be pushing the limits. I imagined the sweat and slew of germs that were brewing underneath her sweaty teeshirt. In this incredible state of bewilderment, everything I saw was what I don’t usually pay attention to. I wasn’t viewing these people as humans, but rather as animals through the glass at the zoo. Suddenly he called out “Number 13″, and I snapped back into reality and headed for the door with my unlucky toasted sub.

High oil prices, high wheat prices, and why?

J. Screeb — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 02:53:00 +0000

Technorati Tags: oil, middle east, military, environment

The problem is oil, and everything in life is connected to that problem. Have you noticed that the price of bread is higher? The reason you’re paying more for a hot dog bun is oil! Sounds outrageous doesn’t it? Here is what is happening. The wheat that we produce in the mid west is declining. This is because of the high price of oil, which leads us to mixing ethanol with gas to lower the price. The reason we are mixing ethanol isn’t for the environment, it is simply to drop the price similar to how drug dealers cut their heroin. Because we are now mixing gas with ethanol, we need to produce more of this ethanol. The farmers in the mid west are planting more cornfields, for ethanol is derived from corn. With more of our Nation’s fields planted with corn, there is less focus on wheat being planted. It is simple supply and demand, and with less wheat available the price increases. But wait, it goes deeper.

The wheat we do have planted, is being sold overseas because the countries in the middle east are paying higher prices for it. When was the last time you saw a picture of a wheat field in Saudi Arabi? Our wheat is being sold to the same countries in the middle east that are setting the price of oil so high. Meanwhile in the states, we are growing less wheat do to our need for ethanol. The countries in the middle east export oil, and oil, and pretty much all oil. We don’t have anywhere else to go for this oil, so these middle eastern countries have a monopoly where they can set prices high. These countries have the United States at their mercy, for we aren’t going to stop importing their oil and boycott the prices. As we’re getting raped on the oil prices, we are also sending the rapists our wheat… causing Americans to pay more for wheat products.

Wait a minute, we have oil reserves and oil in Alaska don’t we? Of course we do, but as an American you don’t get to use any of it. We aren’t drilling in Alaska for oil, because that is our national security. Lets use an example, say all of the sudden we are at war with every oil producing country in the world. What would we do? We would use our oil reserves and the oil we have stashed up in Alaska to supply our military with fuel for vehicles and jet fuel. Even if we weren’t at war, and it was simply a oil shortage, the military would take top priority on the oil supply. The thinking is dark, but the thoughts are rational. 75% of the Nation’s gas stations could be dry, and the public wouldn’t have access to fuel.

This is the direction we are heading. Not saying that the country is going to sink into a World War III, and you won’t be able to get to work. If anything, Americans can deal with the higher prices of fuel and it forces society to submit to better environmental practices. Humans are like any other host, that bleeds their environment dry of natural resources until demise. The difference is our ability to think intelligently, and that is why we are the supreme “organism” on the earth at this point. We see that we are depleting our resources, and have the ability to try to change. The end result is unavoidable, similar to death, for eventually we will use up every natural resource. In the meantime, we can slow down the process.

Pimple popping, golf ball hitting, crazy commute home…

J. Screeb — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 03:07:29 +0000

Technorati Tags: golf, pimple, rant

A golf ball hit a car, and a pig was popping a zit in her mirror. This was the extent of my drive home today. First, while driving by a local golf course, I saw a golf ball directly hit a car driving towards me. What rotten luck for the guy driving his nice shiny Volvo on his way home. I used to work at a golf course, and this happens often. If a ball hits your car and creates damage, there is nothing you can do. It’s not the golf course’s responsibility, it is the responsibility of the golfer. Good luck trying to track down the golfer who just nailed your car! Next, I’m sitting at a stop sign waiting to make a left-hand turn. Traffic was bad, so I looked behind me in the mirror. There was a beastly woman popping a pimple on her face. My stomach couldn’t have turned more, for she was really digging at it. Don’t folks realize that the inside of their car is actually a public place? Did she think the 6 surrounding windows prevented others see what she was doing? Would you pop a zit sitting at your desk in the office? Would you squeeze the puss out using the reflection of a storefront window? Why do people think that it is acceptable, as long as it’s in the car? I’ve seen nose picking, makeup applications, shaving, and now zit popping. Besides, popping pimples only create scars… I know for I used to suffer from acne. Stick it out with the pimple, no one is looking at your fat face anyway. To summarize, I witnessed a crater being created on both the side of a car and a woman’s face on my way home from work.

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Reader Story: I stabbed a mouse to death once, after living with him for a couple weeks.

J. Screeb — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 10:12:15 +0000

Technorati Tags: funny, animal cruelty, killing

I stabbed a mouse to death once. I must be appearing sadistic, eh? I had a major duel with this mouse. I call it a dragon mouse. It was an epic battle! Well, this mouse invaded my house one day, and I didn’t really care till it started running around my room. One day it tried to get into my chocolate stash, and that was it. I heard rummaging through my trash can (where my chocolate wrappers are). I tried grabbing him bare handed, but he was too quick. He had those beady black eyes too. What I did was trap him in my trash can one day. I took the trash can and dumped it into the sewer, and I was so happy I got rid of him. But no, a few days later he was back! He started taunting me too. So, I got a mouse trap and put chocolate on it. I heard it spring one day, but of course he got away. I reset the trap again and waited. Sure enough, it caught him the next day. The thing was, he wasn’t dead. So, I grabbed my knife and started stabbing him to death. I got blood everywhere, and killed the little fucker! Then I pretended he was a puppet, and made him talk. It was a grand day of victory, and I felt triumphant defeating him! I had to clean my floor and knife of the blood. It was a test of wills, and just remember… I won! I celebrate every victory, it’s part of my philosophy. He remembered the chocolate, you can’t take my chocolate though. What is ironic is that at one point I thought he was kinda cute. But, it was like he was intruding instead of being a guest. I’ve never had a pet actually, did I tell you he had black beady eyes? I looked into his eyes once, and it was really like he was taunting me. I can only imagine what it was like back in the Middle Ages, killing a guy with a sword.

Mouse Postscript

I even had a dream about that mouse last night. In the dream he was in my room and bit my foot. At this point I realized I was dreaming (it seemed my mind just couldn’t fathom a mouse running up to me and biting me), so I grabbed the mouse and bit his head off.

- Molyneaux

Spam vs. Tom = Myspace’s Tom got knocked out!

J. Screeb — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 05:09:00 +0000

Technorati Tags: myspace, phishing, spam

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This is the message I received from Tom, the owner of Myspace. We have all gotten the annoying spam messages and friend requests on the site. Sometimes the spammers hack your friend’s account (called phishing), and use the account to host their spam. Tom is in a constant fight to stop these spammers, and over the years has implemented different measures. Myspace is plagued with warming messages about “phishing”, to prevent your account information from being stolen. Even with these measures, it looks like even Tom’s account got attacked. Someone was sitting at their computer having a chuckle as they sent out the messages. Funny thing is, almost everyone on Myspace received the same thing.

Wikipedia - Phishing
Wikipedia - Spam