She wants to be valued as much as you. She wants the same pay that you would get at her job. She wants her opinion to count.

Assuming she has married a man, she still wants a man for her mate and not just a female counterpart in a man’s body.

What on earth is Judy talking about? OK, I know you didn’t ask but I’ll tell you anyway. Starting with the ‘bra burners’ back in the 60’s, mankind has been reduced to something somewhere between female and male. Those clear lines disappeared. Along with it came a rise in divorce.

The fact is, women do still want a man to be a man. They just want equal say but this has been taken to the extremes until it’s hard to tell, sometimes, which one is the man.

When you study the human muscular system, you definitely see differences between male and female. While the male has upper body strength, the female has hip and leg strength. It seems to me that’s enough right there to indicate one is suitable for one job while the other is suitable for a complimentary job but not the same.

When you study the human skeleton, you still come up with differences. For one thing, the female pelvis is wider spread, the leg bones are not as straight forward as the male and….get this….the male has one more rib than the female. Here we see a vast difference as the male skeleton is designed for straight forward movement while the female is designed for squatting movement. Again, female equals hip and leg strength while the male equals arm and shoulder strength as well as swifter speed in the legs.

You tell me what we can get from studying the human figure. It seems to me that while each is equal in value, instead of them being exactly the same, they are designed to compliment one another.

Now when you look at the suitable work for each, you find that the female is suited for nesting while the male is suited for anything but. Nature itself will attest to the fact it is the male that protects, while the female nurtures.

So what is it a woman wants in marriage? A protector. This doesn’t mean a growling gun totter, acting like he’s at war all the time. It means a man who stands to be the rock in the family, the object that everything else is anchored to. The one thing that is never changing, the one thing the children will always feel will ‘be there for them’.

It may seem silly to you but the fact is women still like it when her man wraps an arm around her in a protective manner. She still likes being treated like a queen, having her man open doors for her and hold her chair.

Sound old fashioned? Maybe so but it just might salvage marriages.

Attitudes are different between the sexes too. While the nurturer pushes the best food portions to the others at the table, the bread winner takes pride in knowing he has provided even luxuries, for his family. Even while he is working, knowing his family is well cared for, warm and safe, gives him reason to go on. You never find a true provider grumbling about what his wife gets to do all day while he slaves away at the office. Instead, he is proud of the fact that she does not have to worry about every day needs.

The odd thing is, when a true man is acting the part of a true provider, he finds that his wife is bending over backwards to do her part and provide a warm and loving home for him.

I suppose the greediest thing I’ve ever witnessed a wife doing, is hoarding the best portions, considering herself first. The most childish thing I’ve witnessed in a husband was him putting on a big show about having to add a throw pillow to a padded chair, making all sorts of gestures about his discomfort, because someone else was sitting where he thought he should be.

The most damaging thing I know of, in a marriage, is mumbling instead of coming right out and speaking clearly, when there’s a problem. If you intend for someone to hear you, speak. If not, keep it to yourself. Mumbling is a child’s game.

When a grown man is more of a child, there is nothing for the woman to look up to and admire. Childish games need to be put away on both parts.

Mind you, in all these things I’m talking about, I’m not taking into consideration people who were raised like animals and those whose entire existence is selfishness. In every society, you will find people who simply seem to have no control over themselves or have any morals.

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Actually, physical abuse comes along with all sorts of other abuse, in order for the offender to get away with the physical part.

Emotional abuse is a trap. Just because your partner never hits you doesn’t mean you’re not being abused.

Emotional abuse sounds like this: “If you were a REAL wife….”, “If you weren’t so stupid…”, “If you didn’t make me do it…”

It’s an ‘always your fault’ thing. Words that make you feel less than human, less than a woman, less than a man, unfit for this world, are all abusive words.

Let me tell you that’s not love. Love is uplifting it does not tear you down.

Abuse also comes in weird forms most people don’t recognize as abuse. When you’re holding down a 40 hour a week job, you partner takes your paycheck and hands you $3 a week for lunch money, it’s abuse. When there’s never enough money for you to see a dentist but there’s plenty of money for his ‘nights out with the boys’, it’s abuse.

For one partner to only be able to see value in those things he or she is concerned with and no value at all in those things you might be concerned with, it’s abuse.

Keep this in your mind….if you allow one offense, you’ve allowed them all. Don’t stay in an abusive situation. You can always, and I do mean always, find better for yourself.

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Just a couple hints while thinking toward the garden growing season.

Smash those eggshells as fine as you can and then add it to your potting soil or garden area. Not only are they jammed with nutrients, they also aerate the soil.

This I picked up from a grand parent- dig a hole between rows in your garden and put all your veggie scraps in it. Anything un-cooked, still has it’s nutrients and you can feed your garden with it, instead of loading up the garbage can.

I use Diatomaceous Earth (food grade) to curb the insects in the garden. It’s harmless to your plants and yourself. You can pick it up at the feed store in just about any quantity, up to a 50# bag.

Leaves covered with the kaolin clay are ignored by many common pests, and those that do nibble on clay-coated leaves usually move on. Organically grown produce that has traces of a dusty off-white residue was probably treated with kaolin clay. You can pick up kaolin clay from a pottery supply.

The oldest and best known of biological pesticides is Bt (Bacillus thuringiensis ssp. kurstaki), which remains a top remedy for leaf-eating caterpillars. Bt is based on a naturally occurring soil bacterium that causes the insect’s gut to rupture several hours after it eats it. A newer biological pesticide called spinosad is a fermented brew of two naturally occurring bacteria, and it slowly paralyzes insects after they eat it.

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Although this was also reason, many times, for bitterness against my own father, I didn’t stop respecting him for his attitude. Regardless of the circumstances, he stood on the side of my mother. In my opinion, it’s the only way to be when raising children.

Always remember that she came into your life, long before those children and she will be the one remaining, after the kids leave home.

Determine to agree with your wife, when it comes to the household or children, in all things regardless of the circumstance and she will trust you.

Disagreements belong behind closed doors and out of earshot of the children. What goes on between the two of you, is nobody else’s business. Ever!

If you step across that boundary just once, you’ve destroyed all faith in you as a husband and friend.

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