Feeling frustrated, I asked the Holy Spirit a question in my head:

“What is this situation trying to tell me? What am I not seeing about it?”

And I heard one word echo in my mind: Fortitude.

Now, there’s a word I don’t use often.

Without skipping a step, I searched on YouTube for the topic of Fortitude. Guess what came up? My favorite priest, Father Chad Ripperger, with a video on the virtue of fortitude. I couldn’t hit play fast enough.

What is Fortitude?

Fortitude isn’t just about having “courage” in the way we usually think about it. It was defined as:

The hard stuff. The long, grinding stuff. The things that require longstanding perseverance. The commitments that demand grit when you would rather quit.

Fortitude has six sub virtues to it:

• Magnanimity which means striving for excellence;

• Patience which suffers evils well;

• Perseverance that helps us stay in a circumstance until the end;

• Mortification which is the willingness to suffer

• Magnificence for how one uses his wealth to do great things

• Longanimity which means longness of the soul, an indicator of how well we wait for what is good. This is what I thought patience meant all this time…

As far as that list goes, I identified with the patience and perseverance well enough, but the others I had to think about. This definition helped shine a light on why I had been feeling heavy about this situation and now understood that it was contributing to the development of fortitude.

It felt like exercise, but at the soul level.

And just like physical training, nobody looks at you mid-rep and says “wow, you’re really growing.” The growth is invisible until one day it isn’t. You just notice you can carry something now that used to floor you. The only difference is the muscle being built is inside your character, not your body.

I could have walked away from that situation, but it wouldn’t have been the right thing to do. That’s when it all shifted for me. It was not about the situation itself, but about how I was holding it. It wasn’t punishment. It wasn’t bad luck. It was purposeful. And that one reframe changed everything.

St. Thomas defines virtue as “a good habit bearing on activity,” or a lasting habit. Virtues refer to moral excellence that allow a human to act according to their highest nature.

A virtue is different than knowledge. Knowing the right thing to do is different from doing it, and virtues help us choose actions with reasoning that is right and avoids what is wrong.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. - Philippians 4:8

Through God’s creation, a natural order was established in the world. I believe that virtues are God’s design to develop holiness and a right way to live. Jesus was a man of virtue who embodied perfect moral excellence. When we seek to embrace virtues and strive for excellence in morality, we open the door for the peace and joy God wants us to have.

So, let’s take a look at them.

A Beautiful Architecture

Source: AI generated image and AI took liberties

Fortitude is one of four cardinal virtues, also known as the Moral virtues. The word Cardinal is derived from the Latin word, cardo, which means “hinge”. Other things depend on it to turn, and acts like a central pivot.

Let’s break it down:

The Foundation: 4 Cardinal Virtues
These are the “hinges” that everything else swings on:

• Prudence: Right reason in action, knowing what to do and when

• Justice: Giving others what’s due to them, including God

• Fortitude: The willingness to engage in the arduous

• Temperance: Moderation in pleasures, especially food and drink

The Divine Connection: 3 Theological Virtues
These three connect us directly to God:

• Faith: Believing what God has revealed

• Hope: Trusting that God will bring us to eternal life

• Charity (Love): Loving God above all else and loving others for God’s sake

There’s a fundamental difference between these two types of virtues:

The Cardinal Virtues are ones we practice. Think of them as a training program. You show up, you do the work, you improve. A non-believer can build prudence the same way an athlete can build muscle. The work is available to anyone willing to do it.

The Theological Virtues? These are infused by God and are considered supernatural. We can’t train our way through them. These are what a coach sees in you that you can’t yet see in yourself and then gives you. Planted, not earned. Received, not achieved.

You can’t manufacture genuine faith through willpower. You can’t conjure hope from positive thinking. You can’t create charity by just deciding to be nicer. God plants them in our souls, usually at baptism, and then nurtures them as we cooperate with His grace.

Think of it this way:

And here’s the beautiful interdependence: the theological virtues give ultimate meaning and power to everything else. Without faith, hope, and charity, I might be a decent person, but I won’t reach my ultimate purpose which is union with God.

However, those theological virtues need the cardinal virtues as a foundation. I can’t really grow in charity without also growing in temperance and fortitude.

It’s not either/or. It’s both/and. Grace and effort. Gift and work. God’s part and ours.

It is worth noting that when a person is in state of grace, the cardinal virtues can also be infused by God. That is God’s prerogative, of course.

And now for the nitty gritty, stay with me. Each one of those cardinal virtues has what are called “integral parts” and “potential parts”, that indicate different ways that virtue is developed. We discussed Fortitude’s 6 parts above. Keep in mind, each one of these represents its own virtue, so see if any one of these connects as you read them.

Prudence includes memory, understanding, docility (being teachable), shrewdness, reason, foresight, circumspection, and caution. (gosh knows I need memory!)

Justice includes commutative justice (fairness between individuals), legal justice, distributive justice, religion, devotion, piety, gratitude, truthfulness, friendship, and even patriotism.

Temperance includes honestia, shame, abstinence, fasting, sobriety, chastity, virginity, continence, clemency, modesty, humility, and sportsmanship.

Then there are the more familiar gifts and fruits that are straight out of scripture (1 Corinthians 12:4-7 and Galatians 5:22-23).

The Gifts of the Holy Spirit:

• Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, Fortitude, Knowledge, Piety, Fear of the Lord

The Fruits of the Holy Spirit:

• Charity, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Generosity, Gentleness, Faithfulness, Modesty, Self-Control, Chastity

This is Christian teaching that’s deep, practical, and transformative. Not just “be a better person” platitude, but an actual roadmap for what choices, attitudes and behaviors get us there. I see it as a path to what God is calling me to become, part by part, virtue by virtue.

And yes, we have to practice. The difference is, when it comes to virtues, we are working with God, not working for God’s approval.

The Holy Spirit is our Guide

The good news is, we have help. The Holy Spirit doesn’t wait for us to have it all figured out, he meets us where we are. Just as he did with me on the treadmill. God always knows what we need, but we need to ask to receive:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” - Matthew 7:7

Over the coming weeks, I will dig more into these virtues and share stories of how they have surfaced in my life. I will also explore the vices - which are those things that get in the way of developing a virtue. A couple examples of vices: Superstition, Usury, Idolatry, Vengefulness, Divination, and many more. You can see a complete virtue list with vices here.

Anyone can start this journey by asking in prayer if there is a virtue God wants you to work toward. Or read over these lists and see if anything jumps out at you. Either way, you will know when you get your answer.

Ultimately, this is not about self-improvement. It is about building a closer relationship with Jesus. That is the real gift. The process strips away any masks we may be carrying around and opens us up to the love Jesus is offering us.

Ever since that day, the virtues have become guardrails for my life. Every situation, every difficult circumstance, no longer random, but purposeful. Developing virtue is God’s refinement process to bring out the righteous character in every person.

This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’ - Zechariah 13:9

Maybe your struggle, whatever it is, is the exact place God is building a virtue in you. Not randomly. Not cruelly. Specifically like a trainer who knows exactly which muscle needs work.

There are no coincidences.

And that? That’s medicine for the soul.

Did any virtue resonate with you? Which one makes you think, “Oh, I really need to work on that”? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

*****

Sources:

https://sensustraditionis.org/
https://www.manandwar.com/2023/01/31/full-list-of-virtues-from-father-ripperger/
https://www.prayerandproductivity.com/post/fr-ripperger-virtue-list

Leading up to Lent, I had been preparing myself for the season.

I have come to the understanding that Lent is a practice, not just a pathway to Easter. Lent is about a becoming...and a surrendering.

How well do we listen to God when he prompts us? Do we hear him, or do we dismiss what we hear and only realize it after?

It’s also our opportunity, as followers, to offer a sacrifice of some kind, and be aligned with a smidgeon of the suffering Jesus endured.

One of the “becomings” is around obedience. Obedience? Really?

Well, the three things we are called to do during Lent is prayer, fasting and almsgiving. How obedient are your efforts in taking on any of these practices? If you are, kudos to you! It does require effort. And it also requires obedience to that call.

In past years, my demonstration of obedience with my Lent plan has been mediocre at best. Obedience is the right response to the temptations we face when we are making active promises at Lent to do one thing or another.

My mediocrity would really shine against temptations. I’d roll over pretty quickly and choose my will versus following through on what I promised I’d do.

Temptations are real, and we can easily fall into the trap if we are not prepared. The falling is also part of learning and the perfection of our soul.

I was reminded at a recent mass homily that the same temptations for Adam and Eve were played out when the Devil tempted Jesus in the desert. He tempted them both with food, pride, and power. This is the devil’s playbook, and he uses the exact same playbook with us because it works. Surprisingly, we humans are predictable.

The devil lays out his snare, which plays on one of our weaknesses, and then without realizing it, there we are, caught in the trap.

I got caught in one of these snares recently. But it wasn’t the one I expected.

It went down on Ash Wednesday.

I was scheduled to serve at the evening mass, which always draws a large audience. I have to admit there is something to receiving ashes that is moving. Based on the crowd size on Ash Wednesday, I’m not the only one who feels that way. As Genesis 3:19 notes, life is death, death is life:

I was feeling hopeful, as Ash Wednesday starts the clock on Easter and represents the hope of longer days and springtime.

Earlier that afternoon, a shipment of fish arrived that needed freezing. I headed downstairs to put it away, and in a fleeting moment, I decided I wasn’t going to flip on the light to help me see where I was going, because after all, it’s my cellar and I know my way.

No sooner did I think that thought, when my foot caught the corner of a metal box, and I found myself airborne. I landed hard on my right side with my right elbow taking the brunt of the fall.

Fish everywhere. Fu@$!!! The first of many Lent violations to come.

I sat up, gathered myself. Flexed my elbow, which seemed to move OK. I knew it was going to hurt and I’d better get some ice on it. So I wrapped it up, sat back down at my desk, went back to work. Funny how one careless moment will change the trajectory of a day.

As the afternoon went on, it was time to get ready for mass. With some slow effort and body contortions to slide on a sweater and button pants, I carefully got dressed. Fortunately, I had showered earlier in the day and only needed to put makeup on. That was its own adventure doing it with my left hand. I felt like I was coloring again like I did at age 5.

Then the brevity of the situation hit me. There was no way I was going to be able to meet my obligation at mass. My range of motion was decreasing by the minute. I wasn’t going to be able to do much of anything except be there.

I made it to church, and yes, I drove with some challenge. I explained my situation and everyone was gracious about it. No pressure at all.

So why was it that I still felt bad that I was not in a position to serve?

My Italian guilt was creeping in.

I looked up at Jesus on the cross and mentally apologized to him.

That’s when I felt something in my heart shift.

Jesus said, your works are not needed right now, only your heart is.

Wait, what?

And then the devil pushed back.

He got in my head: “So, what are you going to do? Are you really just going to sit there? There’s a lot of people here tonight. You better find a way to be useful. You didn’t even give communion like you were supposed to…”

I had been so focused on “me” serving that I fell right into the temptation of pride again. And I didn’t even see it. That was the snare. Not the fall in the basement. Not the elbow. The snare was the voice in my head telling me that showing up wasn’t enough, that I had to perform to matter.

There it was. Food, pride, and power. The same playbook. And I was the target.

I was being asked to choose. Jesus said, sit with me. The devil said, prove yourself. And I had to decide which voice to follow.

My real purpose was to be at mass, not be in mass. To receive, not to perform.

It reminded me of the Mary and Martha story, except that I am both characters at the same time. I’m frustrated with myself for not being able to do more.

I have read many times that our works are not what get us to heaven. Intellectually I get this. But I slid right into the devil’s trap thinking that I was less than because I couldn’t actively participate in mass. My free will kept leaning into what I thought needed doing to be “useful.”

God brings us through situations to help us see ourselves more clearly. Lent is a perfect time for these convictions, and allows us to see what really needs to be worked on.

Once I could step back from it all, I could see what God was showing me.

I could align my temporary suffering with Christ’s suffering. One of the first things I did as I shared my intentions for mass was to give up any suffering to Him.

I gave thanks that my fall wasn’t as bad as it could have been. All things told, it could have been much worse.

I grew more confident that I am a child of God. I am loved whether or not I do anything in particular.

And the real gift? Recognizing my will to disobey. Seeing that my instinct to perform, to be useful, to prove my worth through works, is the very thing that pulls me away from simply being present with God.

I walked into mass that evening expecting to serve. God had other plans. He slowed me down, literally, so I could finally hear what He’d been trying to tell me: I don’t need your hands tonight. I need your heart.

Lent has a way of doing that. It strips away what we think we’re supposed to be doing and holds up a mirror to what’s actually going on inside us. Sometimes the lesson isn’t in the sacrifice we planned. It’s in the one we didn’t see coming.

If you want to get the most out of this Lenten season, ask God one honest question: What am I holding onto that you’re trying to pry from my hands?

You might be surprised by the answer. I was.

“and some of those who are wise shall fall, to refine and to cleanse them and to make them white, until the time of the end, for it is yet for the time appointed — Daniel 11:35

In my last post, I shared about my journey to pursue the virtue of humility. I gave a quick example of an experience I had recently on this path, where I paraded around in a new jacket at a business meeting that still had the security tag on it.

Not the biggest upset, I agree. It is something that can happen to anyone and may not be viewed as profound.

While I am getting better at not reacting emotionally and replaying humiliating circumstances over and over, I still feel the initial sting.

According to Father Chad Ripperger, “If one experiences pain upon being humiliated, they have not yet fully mastered this virtue.”

I live in the belief that God is everywhere, and there are no coincidences. I’ve found that when I live this way, life becomes a grand adventure.

When we make promises to God – please know that it is not a small thing. It’s a BIG thing. We must be careful about the quick promises we make in passing because it matters. We need to respect the process that comes with it and the outcomes that follow.

Some consequences may be unintended, but you now have the receipts. Speaking of receipts…

Aisle Be Embarrassed Now

This story occurred early in my humility journey and solidified my commitment to staying this course. It revealed my weakness and how much I need to lean on Jesus.

I was pulling into the local supermarket. I happened to be listening to a recording of Joyce Meyer’s Humility sermon. I used to get one CD a month from her ministry and I made a point to listen to them all. I was hungry to understand scripture and she had a way of explaining things plainly.

I thought, “well there’s no better place to apply it than in the supermarket!” Joyce used to say that the Holy Spirit taught her most things about character in the supermarket. It is a perfect playground for character-building.

I head into the store with a skip in my step. As I’m walking around putting things in my cart, I’m checking off a list in my head. I always leave my carefully curated list at home. Who else does that? I digress…

Midway through shopping, an announcement was made over the loudspeaker:

“Attention shoppers, if you could please check your cart, there has been a mix up so please come to the service desk if you find that you have the wrong cart. Thank you.”

I keep walking and shopping. From what I can see, my cart looks fine.

A second announcement comes on five minutes later.

I keep shopping, humming happy songs. I had the thought “Well that’s too bad, that person must be upset that their cart got taken.”

Another aisle over, I help an older person reach something off the top shelf. I have long arms and it’s an easy get for me. I’m feeling pretty good about myself at this point.

A third announcement of the missing cart came on once again. I thought to myself, “Gee, how could anyone have missed that by now…”

I’m finally done and head to the checkout line. As I’m placing items on the belt, I see a cold cut package of ham….Hmm, wait…that’s not my item. Then as my items uncover more things underneath, guess what I found?

Many items that weren’t mine

Oh My Goodness… I WAS THE ONE WHO TOOK SOMEONE ELSES CART!

I’m the one they are looking for!

I was so embarrassed, I wanted leave my cart there and walk right out the door.

By now, the cashier is scanning my order, so I gathered myself and spoke up: “I need you to pause this order, I realized that I was the one who took the wrong carriage.”

All of her 18 years (or thereabouts) looks at me and gives an eye roll.

“Ok, go over there and separate your things with a second cart and bring the missing cart items to customer service.”

I walk over to the service desk with missing cart items, and told the person behind the desk that this was the cart they were looking for. More than thirty minutes had passed since the first announcement, and the person had already left. Thank goodness, I didn’t have to face them too. I walked away as quickly as I could, tail between my legs.

I retrieved my cart, and of course I was missing half of the items I had originally bought. I was trying to piece together where I would have made that error. I realized that I was so in my head being proud of my good behavior, I was completely not present while shopping. Pride got me good.

I finished the shopping, checked out, and got the car loaded. I jumped back into the car, and as soon as I turned the ignition on, there was Joyce again, talking about humility. Right where I left off.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” – James 1:22-24

In the midst of things, I promptly forgot about my pre-shopping inspiration. The human mind is weak when facing circumstances, and without Jesus we regress back to typical response patterns and forget everything we’ve learned.

The moment I heard Joyce’s voice in the car, I saw God’s hand on this.

This forever changed my course with God. I started immediately building out my faith foundation. I no longer could take things casually, it was time to grow up.

The lessons of this journey still bear good fruit, they include:

1. We are the people He is looking for. Me. You. Them. The minute we think we can handle life on our own, we will inevitably stumble. The question is, how hard? Once we reconcile that we are just one big mess, we are finally in a place to receive His Grace. We need Jesus – and he sometimes put circumstances in our path to get us to look to Him. I ruminated over this situation for a few weeks, the embarrassment would flood my body from time to time. The heat of humiliation felt unbearable at first, but I slowly learned that this is the furnace God uses to refine us. I had to learn how to give it to Jesus, letting Him transform the burning shame into something purer, something that would draw me closer to Him.

“Behold, I have refined you, but not like silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.” – Isaiah 48:10

2. There is no end destination in the pursuit of virtues. The refining process will last for the rest of our days, there is no endpoint. Until we take our last breath. At that point, we hope that our effort pleased God and we finish strong with a final destination of heaven. This gave me comfort to know that the learning process is eternal.

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” – 1 Corinthians 9:24-26

3. God’s corrections are a sign that he loves us. It’s when we don’t get the corrections we should worry. That’s why, in pursuit of virtues, He slowly molds us into His likeness. It can feel like one step forward, two steps back in the walk with God. It can be a super frustrating process to develop any of these virtues because our human ways will bring all our bad behaviors and triggers into the light. It can be painful, but is ultimately a key to freedom.

   “My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” – Proverbs 3:11-12

4. Compassion for others expands. It has for me. My faults have come to my attention so many times that I am able to empathize with others when their faults are revealed. Once we realize how imperfect we are, and how many times we miss the mark, our ability to empathize and offer compassion expands.

“You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” – Luke 6:42

5. Self Control is a by-product of Humility

Self control is something we develop like muscles. It must be tried and tested and used again and again to master it. These opportunities come up only when there is adversity. The fruit of self control is a direct outcome from overcoming ourselves, when humility teaches us to pause before reacting.

In the grocery store that day, I had multiple chances to practice both humility and self control —to pause when the announcements came, to check my cart, to stay present instead of getting lost in my own pride.

But I failed at every turn. Since then, I’ve learned that humility creates space for self-control to grow.

When someone cuts me off in traffic, when I receive criticism at work, when my carefully laid plans crumble—that split second before I respond is where self-control lives.

The more I practice humility, the more that gap widens, giving me room to choose a Christ-like response instead of a knee-jerk reaction. It’s in those small moments of restraint that I feel God’s strength working through my weakness.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9

My Humility Journey has spanned over a decade, as I had found this Facebook post I made in 2015 when this grocery cart debacle happened.

God gives you incremental challenges, which is why I keep a humility journal that has tracked the various situations over the years. It’s fun to go back and review the experiences, and I remember every one of them.

Each offers a gift in one way or another.

Here’s what I’ve come to understand: God doesn’t waste our mistakes.

That grocery store humiliation became a cornerstone in my faith journey.

Every stumble, every moment of embarrassment, every time I fall short—these aren’t failures. They are an opportunity for Grace.

They are invitations to lean harder into Jesus, to trade our pride for His peace, to let Him refine us in the furnace of everyday life.

Maybe you’re reading this and thinking about your own journey.

Perhaps there’s a virtue God is calling you to pursue—humility, faith, hope, charity, temperance? There are 64 of them, so there is plenty of room for growth in the perfection of our souls. I’ll explain them in my next post.

Maybe you’ve been hesitant to ask God to teach you because, like me with that CD in the parking lot, you sense it won’t be comfortable.

You’re right. It won’t be.

But I promise you this: it will be worth it.

Every awkward moment, every sting of correction, every time you have to swallow your pride—it’s all shaping you into someone who looks more like Jesus.

And isn’t that what we’re all here for?

So I’ll leave you with these questions to contemplate:

• What virtue is the Holy Spirit whispering to your heart?

• What area of your life keeps showing up as uncomfortable or challenging?

That’s probably exactly where God wants to meet you and transform you.

If you don’t know, pray to the Holy Blessed Mother and it will be revealed. After all, it’s our Mother’s that know us best.

Don’t wait for the perfect time. Don’t wait until you feel ready.

Invite Him into that messy, uncomfortable place. Then buckle up and watch how He turns your disasters into divine appointments.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single prayer: “Lord, teach me.”

What will yours be?

Blessings all, thank you for reading.

“Jesus, help me to simplify my life by learning what you want me to be, and becoming that person.”

— St. Therese of Lisieux

Humility is one of the most misunderstood Christian virtues—often confused with weakness—yet it is one of the primary ways God brings us real freedom. I once thought humility meant shrinking myself, until God showed me how much freedom lives on the other side of it. When I asked Him to teach me humility, I had no idea how deeply it would challenge—and change—me.

Several years ago, I was listening to Joyce Meyer talk about the virtue of humility. It was intriguing, as I was sorting out a few things in my own character. I remember Joyce giving a directive to be bold and call upon God to show us humility. She challenged her audience and it went something like this:

“If you want to learn real humility, the next time you are in prayer, ask the Holy Spirit to humiliate you. It’s not for the faint of heart.”

I took that as an invitation. I’m thinking, what is the worst that could happen?

Well, that little prayer kicked off an enlightening journey.

What is humility?

“Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life.” Proverbs 22:4

Humility as a virtue falls under the theological virtue of modesty. I’ll cover the full hierarchy of virtues in a separate post as it requires some explanation. Modesty seems like a lost virtue these days and is worth some discussion.

Humility is considered a foundational virtue, and many God-inspired qualities are rooted in it. It is derived from the Latin word “humus” which means soil or ground.

From humility springs forth many good things, including the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Humility functions as rich soil that bears healthy and vibrant fruit. It allows us to realize that all good things come from God, not ourselves. Humility is the ultimate surrender and sacrifice of our will.

Humility Brings Freedom

The pursuit of humility is being willing to see the truth in things, specifically yourself. It means mastering your own strengths and weaknesses, recognizing faults, and being willing to submit to humiliation as a practice in overcoming our self-love.

When my “experiment” turned into something more serious, I decided I needed to better ground my understanding of humility. I looked around for authoritative voices on the virtues in the Church. This led me to Father Chad Ripperger, a Catholic priest and scholar whose work follows the teachings of St. Thomas Aquinas. He has given many lectures on the Christian virtues and are available on YouTube.

Fr. Ripperger defines humility as:

“The willingness to live in accordance with the truth; restraint of the irascible appetite from striving for excellence beyond one’s state; not judging oneself greater than he is.”
- Fr. Chad Ripperger

Through Humility, we can experience true freedom spiritually, morally and emotionally - by learning detachment. We discover freedom from self, as external validation will not carry any weight. We also gain freedom when we accept humiliation without being discouraged.

According to Fr. Ripperger, if one experiences pain upon being humiliated, they have not yet fully mastered this virtue. This is a sign of a perfected state of mind.

Full disclosure: That is not where I’m at, I have a long way to go.

Pride vs. Humility

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3

It’s important to take a look at pride, since it sits on the opposite side of humility. Pride is the root cause of most sins, and can manifest in many ways including arrogance, vanity, haughtiness and a refusal to recognize God. I recently shared a story where pride interfered with my relationship with God.

Pride is a sneaky sin that often creeps in quietly, like a fog rolling in—suddenly you're surrounded and can't see a thing. We become blind to our pride.

I started keeping a journal because there were a myriad of humiliating circumstances, some from pride, that cropped up and I didn’t want to forget them.

One thing is for sure, God has a great sense of humor.

Quick example:

I was preparing for a work trip, and purchased a couple of blazers to spice up my clothing repertoire. I wore one of them during the meeting, and I thought I looked pretty good. After feeling confident about my “look,” one of my superiors announced during lunch, “Hey Juliann, did you see that you still have the security tag on that jacket?”

I replied, “Oh, no way!” He came over and pointed it out. It was in a blind spot on the back corner of the jacket, and I had missed it completely. So much for feeling confident, I was parading around half the day like that.

It was a good reminder to pay attention to the details and not get ahead of myself. I got over it, returned to the store to have the tag removed, and discovered that the other blazer I purchased also still had a tag on it. Fortunately, I was spared from that embarrassment.

That is just one example of the many small mortifications that happened on this path.

Saying the Right Prayer

I also discovered I was not saying the right prayer. I set myself up for a harder journey than necessary. I omitted ONE word that made a gigantic difference in the outcomes of that prayer. That word was “interiorly”.

When you leave that one word out, it’s game on in God’s world. You asked for humiliation, I’ll show you humiliation. While God is not out to “get us”, he will test us to get our attention.

The better way to say this prayer is:

“God, show me humility and humiliate me interiorly.”

This means that situations will come to your attention, but only to you. I had to learn the hard way. God is God, so he can deliver whatever situation he wants, but it has gotten more tolerable with this adjustment.

Humility is a Path to Holiness

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” —Colossians 3:12

My desire to live a holy life brought me to these teachings. I had read about the fruits of the spirit in scripture, but I wondered, how do you actually go about growing good fruit? The answer is you need good soil to start.

When you develop the virtue of humility, you gain qualities such as knowing your true worth, the ability to acknowledge mistakes, and understand your limitations.

It drives the understanding that you always have more to learn, you recognize the inherent worth of other people, and reduce self-centeredness.

Finally, you recognize that there is a God, and open the door to prayer and growth.

This discovery is not a race, it’s a lifelong marathon. The end goal is a path to heaven. In pursuit of any of the virtues, we are preparing ourselves to be ready when we are called.

Keep in mind, it is possible to go too far with this kind of pursuit. We need to approach these growth opportunities with discretion and prudence.

For example, it is possible to be too humble. Vices associated with being too humble include the refusal to act according to one’s true potential or worth, devaluing yourself or pretending to be less capable than you are. Those qualities won’t be useful in God’s Kingdom.

Be Gentle with Yourself

^“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” — 2 Corinthians 3:18

We grow from grace to grace, from glory to glory. Small victories over time become a cumulative testament to His work in us.

In the same way a delicate excavation of historical artifacts is organized, we also need to take the time to dig out the full treasure being offered.

We are imperfect human beings. We must ask God to continually change our hearts and minds because we are not capable of making these kinds of changes on our own.

What to Do Next

If you are feeling brave, you can start your own humility journey by asking God to show you where you are lacking humility in your life interiorly. It’s an incredibly satisfying process and you will learn so much about yourself.

For those who are not quite ready for that path, I have shared a prayer below that is also very powerful. It’s called the Litany of Humility.

The first time I read it, I found it hit quite a few soft spots in my heart, as my unspoken longings and goals were brought to light. I also find that different things jump out at me when I say it at different points in time, depending on what’s going on in my life. I include it in my prayer time once a week to keep me in practice.

Here is the prayer:

Closing Thoughts

He replied, “Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!” - John 9:25

Don’t be surprised when you discover that some things you had not really considered a problem, end up being a root cause of some challenges you are facing.

The good news is, knowledge is power. We can finally do something about it, and put our life in alignment with God’s will.

What I’ve come to realize is that humility isn’t about diminishing ourselves or playing small—it’s about letting God gently show us the truth, especially the parts we can’t see on our own.

Along the way, there will be awkward moments, blind spots, and little mortifications that keep us grounded, but there is also surprising freedom in them. This journey isn’t quick or comfortable, but it is deeply transformative.

In the next few posts, I’ll be sharing more stories from my journey. I invite you to subscribe and join me to uncover them together.

As St. Thérèse of Lisieux reminds us, we grow not by grand gestures, but by simply learning to become the person God created us to be, one small act of surrender at a time.

Blessings all, thanks for reading.

In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. – Psalm 10:4

My phone rang. I answered it as I usually do.

Me: “Hello, this is Juliann.”

Her: “Juliann, this is Diane.” (pseudonym name)

It was a new regional boss who had come on board to help “turn around” a women’s networking group in the technology space. I was acting as an executive director for a local chapter. It was during the early 2000s, after 9/11.

Me: “Oh hi, Diane, how are you? “

Now we had a couple of conversations prior to this one, but not many interactions.

“I am fine, thank you. “

Me: “I’m glad you called, I wanted to tell you about…”

Her: <interrupts me> Uh, excuse me Juliann, but I am going to lead the course of this conversation. Effective immediately, you are removed as executive director for the chapter of said organization. You may submit any last expenses related to events that you had, but any coming events you have planned will be cancelled. Please make all arrangements and notify any partners you are working with. “

What? I was sitting in my chair, just stunned.

I was just going to tell her that I signed a really great sponsor that would have helped with profitability before she cut me off. So, I dared to say, “Umm, I did just sign that sponsor we had discussed, would you like me to connect you to her?”

“No, we are moving in a different direction. Cancel the sponsorship. Is what I am saying to you clear?”

“Yes, it’s clear.”

“Ok, that will be it for today. Take care.”

Click.

Now to be fair, I forget all the specifics of this conversation, but it was short and to the point. What I remember most was “I’ll be directing the course of this conversation.” It was effective.

¹⁶ By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? ¹⁷ Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. – Matthew 16-17

This is not a victim story, quite the contrary. I deserved it. It wasn’t from a lack of capability or performance. Well, maybe some performance, I did struggle making events profitable as did most of the other chapters due to the business model. Beyond that, it was hefty volunteer job that took me away from other things, including time with God.

I was fired because I was not following along with their “new” plan. I had in my mind what needed to be done, and what would be successful. I had a few conversations with the new boss, but I was headstrong about my ideas and pushed against her recommendations on what to do next.

I was not reading the tea leaves, I was being bullish about “what I was going to do.”

I doubled down and didn’t heed any of the red flags that were flying.

I also was ignoring God’s promptings to step down prior to this point. He knew what was going to happen, this organization would eventually fold not long after.

Unbeknownst to me, I was wasting my time. I remained focused on making something work to my own detriment.

The reality was, this work was not bearing good fruit. It was a test on a couple of levels:

1. To see if I would obey Him when he told me to walk away.

2. To let me fall, and fall hard.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom – Proverbs 11:2

I was so embarrassed, I had to make all those calls to cancel events, let the other volunteers know what was happening, talk with the sponsor who was really excited about working together. All the unraveling.

Lessons Fully Revealed

I had not thought about this situation for many years. I had it packed away neatly, in a box of the past and thought I had learned what I needed at the time.

As I was preparing for this post, I was planning to write about something else. During prayer, this moment came flooding back into my mind. I felt the shame all over again, as emotionally charged memories do when they resurface.

God handed me the mirror to see myself and understand the full consequences of pride. Check.

God also showed me something else. His amazing Mercy.

God filled me with a healing Grace. I had not looked at this situation with the wisdom that I have now. It all made sense.

That situation had to happen the way it did. I needed to take a fall. It wasn’t the first fall or the last one, but it was a pivotal one.

It has almost come full circle, but there was one more thing.

A Warning

“You warned them in order to turn them back to your law, but they became arrogant and disobeyed your commands. They sinned against your ordinances, of which you said, ‘The person who obeys them will live by them.’ Stubbornly they turned their backs on you, became stiff-necked and refused to listen. - Nehemiah 9:29

I’ve recommitted myself to this blog and being a part of this Substack community. God is letting me know, so I don’t miss the message, that I could easily slip back into “doing it my way” versus following His lead. All the ego traps that come with writing and figuring out Substack are not far – I could start thinking that this is all me and not Him.

Let’s recap the lessons I learned so I can come back to this post in the future, should I find myself down the slippery slope again:

1. Obedience is the key to a fruitful relationship

“and observe what the Lord your God requires: Walk in obedience to him, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations, as written in the Law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go – 1 Kings 2:3”

2. Pride hardens your heart so you cannot hear God.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. - Proverbs 16:18

3. When everything feels like a struggle and your efforts bear no good fruit, pay attention—it may be God's sign to change course.

“The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.” Matthew 3:10

4. There are consequences to ignoring God’s promptings.

Listen to my instruction and be wise;
do not disregard it.
Blessed are those who listen to me,
watching daily at my doors,
waiting at my doorway.
For those who find me find life
and receive favor from the Lord.
But those who fail to find me harm themselves;
all who hate me love death.” – Proverbs 33-36

5. Do not carelessly sacrifice time away from God for selfish pursuits. God is jealous.

Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. – exodus 34:14

Final Thoughts

When we intentionally enter a closer relationship with God, we tend to think it’s going to be all rainbows and answered prayers. We have this idea that our changed behavior will earn us a spot in His good graces. But that’s not how it works.

As with all relationships, there is responsibility. God is no different. Scripture provides the map, but the most fruitful path is through prayer. Consistent, humble prayer opens the door to truly know Him—the way we’d invest time to know a new friend, a partner, or a neighbor who becomes dear to us.

The journey will bring surprises and outcomes that don’t look like blessings on the surface. There are consequences for our sins, intentional or not. And sometimes, the hardest lessons are the most necessary ones. When we find ourselves in precarious situations, we must pause and ask:

When it comes to God working in our lives, the surface rarely reveals what lies beneath. Like Scripture itself—the words say one thing, but the meaning runs far deeper. What looks like failure may be redirection. What feels like loss may be protection. What seems like discipline is often love.

This I know: God is good. He loves us completely. He is merciful beyond measure. And He makes all things—even our mistakes, even our falls—work together for our good.

For that, I am eternally grateful.

Thanks for reading.

It was a cold New England dusk, and I felt the chill on my face.

The dogs are St. Bernard’s, and they absolutely love this cold weather. They hide inside in the air conditioning in the summer, but in the winter, they prefer to be outside. One pup is very smart, named Molly, and the other one is Bailey, and we call her the “pretty one”.

The challenge when walking two 100-lb dogs together is …well, there are few inherent challenges…but the one I want to talk about is how the dogs get tangled up with the leash on EVERY walk.

Molly does a good job fixing herself. She adjusts her feet, moves her head around the leash when it’s not seated correctly. She problem solves well in almost any situation. Opens doors, finds crevices to sneak out of the fence to the yard. You know the kind.

Then there is Bailey. A super sweet dog, but not the sharpest knife in the draw. Her version of problem solving is laying down and waiting. Her sister does all the work, so she doesn’t have to. When it comes to leash manners, she has none. Bailey gets tangled up all the time and is completely unaware of where the leash is relative to her body, or maybe she is aware and doesn’t care. It’s one or the other.

Let me also say that taking a walk is the highlight of Bailey’s day. She is all business about her walks. She barks like a seal in excitement.

Once we hit the neighborhood, she has zeros cares while she sniffs the world around her. Then she races along at her speed dragging her sister at times, getting tangled up until I say “Bailey, Wait”.

She stops, I untangle her and off we go. She knows what I’m doing and she surrenders, lets me move her around, grab her feet, or whatever needs doing to fix the situation.

So back to the walk. This time Molly got tangled (due to Bailey zig zagging) and the leash wrapped tightly around her back left leg.

Molly started to get anxious and was hopping around acting like she had a broken leg (drama queen) and her behavior was making it hard to address the situation.

In that moment, hanging over Molly trying to fix her in the dark while at the same time struggling with me, I received a revelation. I heard God say to me:

“See, this is what happens when I’m trying to help you. You fight me. If you just stopped and surrendered, it would be done.”

Wow. They always come with such weight and clarity, yet gentle at the same time.

I contemplated God’s message for some time with thoughts like:

…Perhaps the simplicity of Bailey surrendering and allowing me to do what I need to brings a Grace that can’t exist in a struggle.

…In the same way that I fix tangles over and over is the same way God handles us. Ump-teen times a day/week/year. Mostly with love and compassion, and a dash of frustration. I know Bailey can’t help herself. I don’t typically get upset and I try to keep the leash in a position that won’t tangle, but it inevitably does. I imagine God must do that too.

…Sometimes I let Bailey walk tangled. Perhaps with us, God does the same and lets us remain tangled and we walk impaired for a time. Until we stop, surrender, and get His help to adjust.

…Just how often is God trying to help me and I’m busy in the struggle? How frequently do I make things harder for God to work? Many times, I’m afraid.

…Now that I’m more aware, will I be able to recognize these moments and surrender?

…Gee, God, I sure would love to hear something like “Juliann, Stop!” when I’m in one of those moments!

It reminded me of the passage in Scripture where Jacob struggles with God in Genesis 32:22-32.

²⁸ Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,^[a] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

That may not be the best example, but the struggle is real. I’m grateful that I received His message. I’m sure I’ll keep drawing parallels over the coming weeks and months.

I look forward to our walks even though I am well aware there will be more leash “incidents”.

In the very same way, we can be assured that God loves us, even when we create chaos.

Next time we are in a struggle moment, may we remember to surrender to God so he can work in our lives:

“Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever.”

‭‭Psalm 136:2

In recognition that we all suffer when remaining in the struggle, let’s pray:

Blessings all!

Like many of you, I took some time to reflect back on 2025 - the good, the bad, and the ugly. It was certainly a year of growth for me, but overall it wasn’t a spectacular year. That’s ok too, as I find the yin and yang of life holds true… when you have high highs, you also tend to also have low lows to keep everything in balance. I know I am not the same person I was last January—thanks be to God.

So, let’s take a look at why that is.

In true USA style, I’ll make myself what I call a shit sandwich. Since I started working with teams from other geographies, I’ve noticed some interesting US culture characteristics. The way we give feedback is one of them—and we’ve most likely all done this or received feedback this way. It’s when you have to provide feedback to someone and you start it off with the good things, move into the harder, more critical things to discuss, and then end with good things to leave it on a positive note. So here it goes, let’s build it!

The Top Slice: What Went Well

1. My prayer life improved with a daily commitment. Grade A-.
   I discovered starting the day with Jesus is much better than my social media feed. I can easily ruin a precious morning by mindlessly letting the threads of what everybody else is saying out there pollute my mind. Prayer is a much better option. I can share what I hope for the day for myself and others, I download my concerns, and in the process build a friendship with Jesus. Most days I’m doing most of the talking, but other days I get information back. I live for those moments. Toward the end of 2025, I added a shorter prayer time at the end of the day for reflection and more downloading before I sleep. It helps.

In Between Layers: The Harsher Realities

2. I didn’t keep my commitment to my Substack writing. Grade C-.
   I don’t need to belabor this, but it is what it is. Time has gone by, I didn’t write as much as I intended. It was like the ghost in the room—I knew it was there, and it would torture me with whispers: “Why aren’t you writing?”... “What’s wrong with you?”... So, fun times. My own self-torture.

3. I lost control of my finances. Grade D-
   I used my credit card a bit too much to support a lifestyle that was unsustainable. Now, that being said, I am working on turning that around and I’m well on my way. Given that there is a turnaround happening. I’d graded myself a D- vs. an F. I am applying a new discipline. The holidays were very difficult as I love to give meaningful gifts. But as Clint Eastwood says, “Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome…”

4. I discovered that I continue to struggle with the same fears I’ve always had.

   Grade: D
   I found something I wrote in 2007. It was torn out of a spiral notebook and I had placed it in a folder with a bunch of greeting cards I had saved. I read it over, I realized I shared those very same words the other night to my best friend. I’ve used it as a crutch. It’s time to stop worrying about what others will think. This also directly relates to #2. Sobering, but useful.

5. The Lord served up several opportunities to learn humility. Grade C+
   I expect this to continue in 2026. I am planning to write a few posts on this too, as there are some pretty funny moments. It all started when I dared to pray to “learn” about humility as part of developing that virtue, and boy did those prayers get answered. I learned a valuable lesson - be very careful about what you pray for, and how you pray for it, because you will receive it. It can and will surprise you.

6. My motorcycle was a bit lonely. Grade C-
   I made many excuses not to ride. The problem is, much like writing, it is one of the few outlets that brings a sense of freedom and passion to life. I need to fix that.

The Bottom Slice: The Last of the Good Stuff

7. Health Disciplines Improved. Grade B+
   First, I got a handle on macro nutrition. Just enough to know how it works and what I need to be doing. I have not optimized it or found the right sweet spot quite yet. I have some set targets to hit and staying the course. No major weight shifts yet, but some body composition changes. So there’s that.

   Second, I kept my commitment at the gym. Woohoo. This was my first year through where I’ve stayed with it. I find myself actually looking forward to it. Who knew?

There is something that I am noticing. In most of these things, they are all outcomes based in habits of good discipline or a lack of discipline.

I guess I’ll keep that journey going too, and see how I do by 2027. I hope to have a better report card to share then.

My most memorable moment of 2025?

Going to Fatima, Portugal and visiting the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Fatima. I walked around the plaza and was able to attend a mass. I got a check off the bucket list. It was truly a divine experience and I’m a grateful I had the opportunity to go while I was on a work trip.

What’s the Plan for 2026?

Only the Lord knows what is really ahead for me. As Proverbs 16:9 notes, “The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” Given that, here are a few things in mind for 2026

1. I will continue to work on #1 and strengthen my prayer life.

2. Be diligent in paying down debt and not accumulating more.

3. Take time when on work trips to explore when possible.

4. Continue to build the health disciplines.

5. Continue the journey on embracing the 64 virtues. That should keep me busy.

6. Last but not least, take more motorcycle rides on my own this coming season.

As I mentioned the 64 virtues—I’ll be documenting more of this path in the coming year. I actually started a humility journal because I had so many things happen and I didn’t want to forget them. I have much to share!

I am wishing you a fantastic 2026! Let’s do what St. Paul says:

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus – Philippians 3:13-15

Thank you for reading. Blessings of love, peace and joy to you and your loved ones in 2026!

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle” –Albert Einstein

In my post From Homeless to Hope, I shared what happened when my second miracle unfolded — finding a good place to live in the nick of time. This next story begins right where the last one ended.

During this period, I was amping up my prayer life and reading more scripture. I believe God was drawing me closer, tossing me “bones” along the way to keep me focused on Him for strength and direction. Gosh knows I needed Him more than ever.

I had moved into small ranch, and it turned out to be a very good fit for us. My family enjoyed this home despite its 1970s quirks – like windows that wouldn’t open, no screens, everything was slightly off center, and small things like that.

I set up my home office in the corner of the living room, facing a floor to ceiling wall of windows – a wonderful feature that brought nature right to my eyes.

We had been living there for two years, and the holidays were approaching. My parents lived the snowbird life with a place in Florida, and a lake house in Vermont, and would plan to stay at my home to go to doctor appointments, family events, and transition between the seasons.

It was early November, and they let me know they’d be closing up the Vermont and coming down to stay with me through the holidays. I always looked forward to this because my Mom and I would decorate and carry on holiday traditions we had growing up.

The Knock on the Door

One Sunday afternoon, I heard a knock. On the other side was my landlord’s wife — the first time I had ever met her. Up until then, I had only interacted with her husband, usually by text or phone.

They lived across the street in a large historic lakefront home and it had been for sale for some time. When they put the house on the market, the landlord let me know that they were planning a move to Florida to retire.

As soon as I opened the door, I thought, this can’t be good.

She introduced herself, and I welcomed her in. Without much preamble, she said:

“I came over to tell you that my husband and I decided that instead of moving to Florida, we are going to move back into this house. This was our original home when we moved to this town. “

Taking that in, I said “Ok, I see. What’s your timing on that?”

She replied, “Well, we finally have a buyer for our house.”

“Congratulations, that is great news!” I said, though inside I’m cringing.

She continues, “Yes, it is great news. The buyers are planning major renovations, and would like to get into the house as quickly as possible. That means we would need you to be out by December 1^st.”

GULP. Not even 30 days. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. My parents are coming back to live with me. My mind raced.

I said, “That’s a little fast, especially over the holiday season. My parents will be staying here too — is there any way I could have more time?”

She responded, “We are closing on the house December 18^th, so the latest I can offer is December 15^th. We’ll need a few days to clean before we move in.

Shit. I am screwed.

Taking a deep breath, I said “Ok, well thanks for letting me know. I have no idea how this will work, but what I do know is the Lord will open the right door for me at the right time, and we’ll land where we are supposed to.”

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong” 1 Corinthians 16:13

Looking surprised, she said, “Oh, that’s great. I thought you might be upset.”

I replied, “Well, it’s your house.”

I walked her to the door, thanked her, and shut it — then immediately started panicking.

How am I going to find a place this time of year, plan a move and get this house packed up? Most available listings are usually 30 days out or more.

I walked right to my bedroom, got down on my knees and prayed:

Lord, help me. How is this all going to work out? I know you always have a good plan for my life, so I am trusting in you. That’s the only way this will ever work because I’m looking at a mountain. You brought me here - where are you taking me next?

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Praying calmed my anxiousness. I called my parents and told them the news. They were disappointed but said they could go to Florida early and not to worry.

God Winks

A week later, while out to dinner with a friend, I got a text:

“The deal fell through. You can stay through the holidays. Keep in mind that we are still actively trying to sell the house and plan to move into the ranch at some point in January.”

I nearly choked on my drink.

I said to my friend, “You’re not going to believe this…” and read the text out loud.

I was stunned. Then, realizing what had happened, I started repeatedly saying. “Thank you, God. Thank you, God, Thank you, God. Oh my Lord, you are so Good. Thank you, God!

In an instant, the weight lifted off my shoulders. I had breathing room. God had made a chess move. He moves mountains.

I ended up talking with the landlord later in the week, and the reason the deal fell through was the buyers had gotten estimates on the renovations they wanted, and felt it was going to cost too much money to buy and renovate.

As happy as I was for me, I felt a little bad for them, because I knew that was a big set back. The right buyer was necessary for that house.

Then, God put something on my heart: go and purchase a St. Joseph statue and give it to my neighbors. So, I went and purchased a St. Joseph statue that they could bury in their yard for an extra blessing. If you don’t know the tradition, St. Joseph is the patron saint of homes and burying his statue in your yard can help sell a house. Does it really work? Who knows, but I was following my inner prompting from God.

When I gave them the gift, they were very surprised and thankful. I included the instructions on where to bury the statue and the prayer that goes with it.

¹⁴What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. - James 2:14-17

The Search is On

I knew I wanted to rent a house vs. an apartment based on my last search two years earlier. I looked plenty of places, but none felt right. One I liked was located next to train tracks….I’ll pass on the sound of a train horn every day. “You’ll stop hearing it” they said…” Mmmhmmm.

I finally found a house I liked, and it was in a great quiet neighborhood, 3 bedrooms, a decent yard, walkable roads, excellent. Schools were not a concern, my son had graduated already but being in this particular town was a plus.

As I spoke with the realtor and started filling out paperwork, reality hit: to secure the rental, I’d need first, last, security, plus a month’s rent up front—$10,000. And the application required a nonrefundable deposit. Suddenly, something in me said STOP. I knew it was the Holy Spirit pressing pause. I asked if I could take the application home and return it later. I needed space to breathe and think.

My thoughts swirled: How can I put up $10,000 just to rent—with nothing to show for it? If I have that kind of money, shouldn’t I be buying? Many of you can probably relate. The housing market was better then, and it’s much worse now. But back then, at least, interest rates were in the 3% range.

I switched gears and called my realtor friend who helped sell my last house She told me to send her some listings and she line up viewings. That Saturday, we set out to see three homes.

Blessed Mother Mary Winks

The first house I wanted to view was right over the Massachusetts border in New Hampshire. I had not really considered New Hampshire before. The other two houses were in Massachusetts, both of which looked great too.

From the outside, it was a cute little ranch that looked small but was much larger on the inside. It had a full basement with a bedroom and kitchen, which I thought would be great man cave for my son. It had three bedrooms on the first level, which was a good fit for my parents and me.

We went look at the back yard, and when I turned a corner on a large porch, there she was, in all her glory.

A statue of the Blessed Mother Mary. Stunning, radiant, surrounded by snow.

My heart skipped. This is it, I thought. This is my sign.

Even though I leaned toward this house immediately, I still wanted to look at the other houses. I was really excited about one of them, but when I got there, the kitchen was so small, I couldn’t even fit a turkey in the oven. These are the critical measures of an Italian girl.

I went back to the house in New Hampshire for a second look. I brought my son and my parents. We all loved it. I decided to make an offer and after some financing hoops, I bought the house.

God Saved Me Again

We are still living in this house today and it suits us perfectly.

While this miracle isn’t as dramatic as the others I’ve shared, it show how Faith works and how God can move mountains when we leave room for Him.

As Rev Francis Spriago writes in The Catechism Explained: “Faith is a gift from God, since the power to believe can only be attained by the Grace of God.”

Through these three miracles, my faith grew a hundredfold. I now know—in my bones—that with God, everything will work out, even when there seems to be no way. Every setback is an invitation to lean not on ourselves, but on Him.

And so I return to the original scripture I shared in my first Miracle story, that remains an anchor in my heart:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths – Proverbs 3:5-6

A Few Things That Helped Me

Here are some things that you can consider to strengthen your Faith and open the door for miracles.

1. Speak your Faith out loud. Do this especially in the moment of confronting the challenge at hand. Affirm Him. If you have a favorite scripture verse, speak it aloud often. Scripture has a magic to it and when it is spoken, it returns dividends. Put your chips down on God, state it out loud, and don’t second guess it.

"So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it". - Isaiah 55:11

2. Pray often from your heart. Don’t worry about what prayers to say, just talk to him like a friend. At times I find that I repeat myself in prayer, because it is heavy on my mind and there has not been a breakthrough yet. In these times, I will ask for help in seeing my needs through His eyes or a different lens, to get a new perspective. You may find that God will put something on your heart to demonstrate your faith. Do it without question, as simple or ridiculous as it sounds.

3. When we are asking for God’s help in prayer, also take the time to ask what we can do for Him. Is there a way to be a blessing to someone else? It is normal to focus on ourselves during troubled times, but we must step outside ourselves and be of service somehow. Even if that simply means helping someone at the grocery store to reach an item they cannot reach, or assist an elderly person. Much like when raising children, we want them to see that their needs are not the only ones that matter. God sees us the same way.

Sprirago also noted “When God bestows upon a man the gift of faith, He either employs one of the ordinary means of grace, such as preaching, or in some cases, an extraordinary means, such as a miracle.”

This is the truth. My experiences are my testimony.

Keep the Faith, and look for God showing up in your life. I can guarantee when you start looking, you will begin to see Him in everything.

Blessings all, I’ll be praying for you.

But our faith in God asks for the opposite. We’re called to trust—blindly, sometimes—that He exists, that He is good, and that He’s working everything out for our benefit. That kind of trust can feel downright uncomfortable, especially when life starts pressing in on us.

Humans have always wrestled with how much faith they can really hold onto. And interestingly, it’s when life squeezes hardest that we often turn to God—because, honestly, where else can we go? Like a juicer, pressure reveals what’s inside us. And what comes out can be... enlightening. The quality of our “life juice” reflects the quality of our faith.

I know I tend to drift when I feel like I don’t “need” God—like a kid who knows their parent is there but doesn’t bother to check in. Then, when things get bumpy, I find myself making more time to pray.

But God is always trying to draw us back. He wants our attention not just on the bad days, but every day.

The Lord said to Moses, “How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the signs I have performed among them?”
—Numbers 14:11

Meeting “Thomas”

Doubt is a powerful force. It can knock us off the path God intended pretty fast. It separates us from Him.

You’ve probably heard the story of Thomas, the disciple who refused to believe in Jesus’ resurrection until he saw the nail holes for himself. Fortunately for Thomas, Jesus revealed Himself to him.

Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
—John 20:29

Not long ago, I had a conversation with someone I’d definitely describe as a modern-day “Doubting Thomas.” They were going through a major life shift—and not a small one. This person had decided to walk away from everything. They sold all their belongings, kept only their car, and set it up to live in full-time. A bed, coolers, Planet Fitness membership for showers—just enough to get by.

I’ll admit, there’s a part of me that admires that kind of boldness—to let go of everything and embrace simplicity. It even reminded me of when Jesus told the rich young man:

“One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
—Mark 10:21

But here’s the thing: that young man walked away. Jesus saw that his heart lacked the virtue of charity—he wasn’t ready to surrender for the right reasons. There’s no shortcut to holiness. Following Jesus requires willingness, not just sacrifice.

Back to the Doubter

This person told me their goal was a life with minimal responsibility. After working hard for years, they just wanted peace. A simple life. More freedom. Enough income to get by. After a few months of living in the car, they felt they’d found a kind of balance.

But as I listened—between stories of broken relationships, hardship, and chaos—I couldn’t help but wonder: Was there any faith in this decision? Any prayer at all?

So, I asked.

“Thanks for sharing all that. It sounds like this was a big decision for you. But… where was your faith in all of this? Do you have any?”

Their eyes bulged: “FAITH? Did YOU ask if I had FAITH?”

At that moment, I had no clue where this conversation was going. But I felt I was in it for God, so I stayed the course.

“Yes,” I said. “Faith. Did you pray about your situation?”

They laughed. “You think I believe in some magical person in the sky? That’s for weak people. I’m an atheist. No one is coming to save me.”

Then they looked down on me and said “So… you’re telling me you actually believe in God? There’s no scientific evidence He even exists.”

Feeling like I needed to say something, I replied, “You’re free to believe what you want, just as I’m free to believe what I do. All I know is that before I reconnected with God and Jesus, my life looked one way—and ever since, it’s been steadily improving, little by little.”

They interrupted: “Jesus is just a person. Not God. Muslims don’t even believe He was divine. Whoever believes that clearly hasn’t done the research.”

I said, “I don’t need evidence to believe. I’ve had personal experiences that have proven it to me.”

“Oh yeah?” they shot back. “Tell me about THIS experience…”

So, I began, “I’ve had several moments where I’ve heard from God, and He redirected my life in ways I could never have done on my own.”

“Hearing from God? That’s just you. You’re hearing your own thoughts.”

And then came the kicker:
“I feel sorry for you. You don’t get it. You’re putting your faith in a person. That’s the whole problem with religion.”

I responded, “I disagree. Jesus is the only documented person to have died and resurrected.”

“Documented? Ha. Scientifically not proven.”

I asked, “Have you ever read the Bible?”

“Parts. Not the whole thing. Have you?”

“Yes, I have. And while I wasn’t reading it for science, I found that it touches on every human experience—pain, joy, betrayal, forgiveness. Everything you mentioned about your struggles? It’s all there.”

The conversation didn’t get much better after that. But I kept listening, and I think that’s what this person really wanted—someone to hear them. Their life was full of complaints and blame, but everything was going “great.” I wasn’t so sure.

The whole time, Proverbs kept coming to mind:

“Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.” —Proverbs 12:16

“The prudent keep their knowledge to themselves, but a fool’s heart blurts out folly.” —Proverbs 12:23

There’s a saying: “Everywhere you go, there you are.” You can change your location, your stuff, even your name. But if you haven’t dealt with what’s inside of you, the same people and problems will keep showing up.

And without faith, life can feel really lonely. There’s no hope—unless you get lucky. Most of the time, in my opinion, luck is often just God in disguise.

God is merciful. He blesses believers and non-believers alike.

Jesus may ask us to give things up to follow Him—but not to give up life for the sake of self-pleasure. This person’s goal was reduced responsibility, not spiritual growth.

For the Record

If any atheists happen to read this—yes, I acknowledge there’s no “scientific proof” of God’s existence (at least not according to Google). But I did find one possible connection to something that is mentioned in this verse of the crucifixion:

“At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two... The earth shook, the rocks split and the tombs broke open.”
—Matthew 27:51–52

In 2012, the International Geology Review published a report of seismic activity near Jerusalem between 26–35 AD that was large enough to be an earthquake. So, maybe that’s one point for the believers.

Final Thoughts

At the end of our conversation, I told this person, “No matter what happens, I’ll be okay—because I believe.”

My job isn’t to prove Scripture. It’s to pursue Jesus and grow into the person I was meant to be.

This exchange gave me perspective—and reminded me that I have a lot of growing to do when it comes to defending my faith. But I have all the proof I need. I’ve seen God move. I’ve felt His presence. I know what it’s like when He’s gone ahead of me.

And given my own brush with near-homelessness, I have deep respect for people in hard situations—chosen or not. But faith shaped how I responded. That’s why my path and this person’s path look so different.

God rewards the faithful. I try to live every day trusting that when I put Him first, everything else falls into place. It brings peace—and opens the door for miracles.

We say “seeing is believing,” but when it comes to God, it’s the other way around. You believe first. Then the real seeing begins.

Once again, I was facing one of life’s crossroads and had to sell my house from a divorce. I couldn’t afford to stay there anymore; it was a large house that we bought when we had 3 children and an in-law for my parents. We had been living there 18-plus years at this point.

I had just started a tech marketing job that was remote, and I was able to put my plans into action to prepare the house for sale. I was blessed to have a great realtor (anyone in the northern MA/southern NH area, contact Rosanna Zingales-Lopez, Team Zingales Realty). She knew I was in a tough spot and paid for a staging consultant to give me recommendations to declutter my place for showings - which involves removing furniture, pictures, personal items, and such to create a more open, appealing space.

Once the house got cleaned up, it looked presentable. We held our first open house in late July 2015. It wasn’t quite a seller’s market at this time, but it was moving in this direction. Shortly after, we got a request from a prospective buyer from the open houe to see the house again. It had only been on the market for a few days, so that was a good sign!

After a couple more visits, we received a great offer. It was enough to share a decent split with David’s Dad (David is my son) and allow both of us to start again with a little bit of cash.

There was a wildcard, though. The buyers wanted to move in by the end of August, and it was the very beginning of August giving me 4 weeks to pack up and find something else…

In my Proverbs 3:5-7 thinking, I confirmed that with God, I’ll find something…

The Hunt Begins

The first week goes by, and I don’t find anything. Clean up is slow, I had forgotten how much stuff we had in this house. Week 2 goes by, I’m scouring the rental listings because I will not be able to buy anything quite yet. I discovered that places that I thought would be a slam dunk, like those cool converted mill buildings, don’t work for us.

It’s Week 3, and I’m now in the 10-day window of closing. And still nothing. The listings are the same listings – something you don’t notice until you are in that position. I was looking for a place that would accommodate my son, a bedroom for my parents, and a small dog, so that added some complication.

As the third week came to an end, I got a call from my brother. The conversation went like this:

Him: “So, you have no place to live as of next week”

Me: “Yes, that is what it looks like.”

Him: “How can you sleep at night, knowing you have no place to live.”

Me: “I don’t know, there isn’t anything. I might have to book a long stay hotel or something just in case something doesn’t come to fruition. I just lean on the fact that God delivers and hoping he still can.”

<these statements of Faith, I truly believe, are what open the door for miracles>

My brother didn’t mean to sound unsupportive; he lived in Florida and couldn’t help much from there. He was just expressing his concern and empathizing with my situation.

The Final Week

It is the final week; the house closing is Friday.

On Monday, a friend of mine who lives a couple of towns over sends links to 2 places near him and his wife, who are friends from college. I had looked at one of properties online and I had passed over it before, but this time I thought, why not, I may as well look. I could be close to my friends at this location. I had nothing to lose, and time was of the essence.

I made an appointment to see the house on Tuesday. Surprisingly, I liked it. It was the inverse of the house I was in - which was a 6,000 square foot colonial, to a 1,000 sq ft 1970s ranch. I surmised most of my stuff would not fit in the house, but it backed up to a nice private yard and the kitchen was modern. They would permit a small dog. It had 3 tiny bedrooms, but I could accommodate everyone on my list. Rent was less than the mortgage I was paying. I fill out the application on the spot.

As I’m backing out of the driveway, I hear a voice say to me, clear as day, “This will be good for you.”

Did I hear that right?

On Wednesday morning, I was notified that my application was rejected because my credit was bad (and that was true, it was a low score). I had told the realtor this would be the case, but my income was strong, and the sale of my house would right the situation. It didn’t matter. I started to panic. 48 hours to closing.

My mind starts running…

…. I better book a long stay hotel somewhere ...

…I’m going to need a storage facility as the movers I had scheduled had to put the stuff somewhere…

Then I stop myself and paused.

Didn’t I hear a voice that said, “this will be good for you”?

Faith in the Gap

One of the big lessons I have learned in my Faith journey is that if God wants you to have something, you will have it DESPITE how shitty things look in circumstances. And right about now things looked shitty.

The next call I make is to the realtor, who is the person renting the place and I ask to meet in person. I go to his office, bring my mother for support, and talk to him heart to heart. I produced my paystubs and shared the sale details to show him that after Friday, affording his place would be feasible. He looked at my mother and then asked the question I was hoping wouldn’t be needed: Would she cosign for me? I was mortified. Imagine, at this point in my life needing a cosigner! But, that is where I was. She agreed.

He calls me a few hours later.

He agrees to rent me the house. And…...

I can move in Friday. And….

Meet him on Thursday to sign documents, he will give me the keys and I can start bringing things in then.

God certainly moves mountains.

We lived there for a couple of years. I really enjoyed this home, and my son did too. The dog loved the yard, and we had plenty of places to walk.

Guess what my favorite thing about this house was?

I could vacuum the entire house without unplugging the vacuum machine once. It is the small things. It used to take me hours to clean the big house. I went from barely surviving in a beautiful, large house to thriving in a small one.

Lesson to be learned

God is so good. I recognize getting cosigner takes away a little from the “magic” of this story, but I think it is an important detail. God does create miracles. However, this does not mean he waves a magic wand and fixes everything. It means that if we truly live our faith then we must do everything we can that is within our realm to do. It may be the smallest of things, but if we fulfill all we can do, then God can do his Work…creating miracles in the spaces in between.

I often wonder, if I didn’t hold my Faith in a space of conviction, would the decision have gone my way? Would I have recalled my conversation with the Holy Spirit and make the last plea to the realtor? I’ll never know. I consider that Miracle #2.

God’s timing is impeccable. He is never early or late. This was definitely a nail biter.

I did experience this type of “miracle” one more time. Stay tuned for Miracle #3.

Scripture indicates that prayers are heard and answered, ex. “seek and you will find”. Timing is always the hard part because we want the answer faster than it usually arrives. The only way I have found to reorient myself to His timing and not my timing is to turn to a specific scripture in the Proverbs that has gotten me through tough moments.

The passage is Proverbs 3:5-7

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

About ten years ago, I literally stood my life up on this Proverbs scripture. And God delivered a miracle.

The “lean not on your own understanding” is something to pause and think about. How often do we get focused on what we understand about a situation and try to solve it ourselves and not wait for God? However, that moment is precisely where we can get in big trouble and we miss the miracle.

My Testimony

I was going through a divorce and decided to go back to work for a company after being self-employed for ten-plus years because the cost of covering my own healthcare for my son and I was becoming a second mortgage. I was hoping to plug in with company to help me with health benefits among other things. I landed at a company that appeared to be stable, or so I thought.

At one point during my employment there, I had printed out and taped the passage from Proverbs 3:5-7 right on my laptop to help ground me when things felt out of control.

The company got sold, new leaders came in, and the work environment became chaotic. The business began to have cash flow problems and started to miss payroll. Every pay period was a big surprise, and senior management would get paid after the employees got paid first. I was fine with that in principle, but it was painful to manage cash unpredictably. After all, that is not what I signed up for when I went back to a J-O-B.

I had begun to rethink my options.

I received a solid job referral from a previous client I had worked with while I was consulting. It was everything the current company wasn’t - Fortune 500, stable, large, room for growth, good benefits and a steady paycheck. That sounded like a slice of heaven. The job required that I move to Rhode Island to work at their headquarters. Everything was falling into place.

A New Start

I had to sell my home due to the divorce, so a move to Rhode Island made perfect sense - a place to start over. The new company said I would have “plenty of time” to make this transition. That changed as soon as I signed the offer letter. Their “plenty of time” turned into wanting me in the office 2-3 times a week in Rhode Island (a 100-mile commute) while I was transitioning. My new boss would inquire almost daily before I even started working there if I put the house on the market yet.

Pressure was ramping up before my start date. There was no relocation compensation (rookie mistake), so it was all on me. Mind you, the house I was selling was large and had some “issues” that should have been fixed years before, so I was anxious about putting it on the market.

Would I get enough for it to start over with all the things that needed fixing?

Fortunately, I had a fantastic realtor (and friend) who helped me get it on the market, but still, cleaning out a 6,000 square feet house was a daunting task after living there 15 years.

To add more stress to this situation, my 17-year-old son (at the time) dropped his little bomb: he announced he was NOT coming with me to Rhode Island. He didn’t know where he was going, but Rhode Island wasn’t it. I was shocked. I had visions of sugar plums in my head with the two of us starting over in Rhode Island - he was a musician, they had a great music scene, I had an entire fantasy set up in my mind.

In an instant, my whole world turned upside down…the high pressure from the new job….the sale of the house…and a son who was not cooperating. All of sudden, everything felt wrong. How was I going to get my monstrosity of a house ready for sale, packed up and relocate to Rhode Island in their timelines? Wait, am I going to Rhode Island? If I go, what is my son going to do? What am I doing? I was all turned around.

I vividly remember getting down on my knees before bed one night, praying to God, and reciting this passage. How can things go from amazing to a total shit show in the blink of an eye?

The Dream of Presents (or Presence)

That night I had a vivid dream. In the dream, it was Christmas, and I was up in my room. My king-sized bed was covered in a pile of wrapped gifts. I looked and saw gift after gift. Then a woman standing next to me waves her arm over the gifts and said, “these are all for you.” I remember feeling bewildered. Then, as dreams do, the scene shifted to my brother in front of me, and I said to him, “oh my goodness, it is Christmas and I don’t have any gifts for you” (my Italian guilt showing up) and he said not to worry. Dream over.

The next day at work, I had to inform my current clients that I resigned and was leaving the company. One client, in particular, was someone I had just signed a contract with, and I was nervous about sharing the news. I really liked this client, and I felt like it was shafting them with my departure as they trusted me and signed the contract believing I’d be running the project.

I ripped off the band aid and called this client first. I explained what was happening and my timing. I offered to watch over the project on my own time to make sure it all worked, and they got the value they deserved. He was disappointed. He asked me questions about the new place, asked me why I wanted to work there, what was good about it, etc. And honestly, it wasn’t feeling like the right choice at that point, but I had already signed the offer letter, resigned from this job, and felt boxed in.

He asked if he could have 24 hours, and I told him that I appreciated what he was trying to do but it was unlikely he could meet the salary and benefits I was being offered. The company was small; how would he even get close to what a Fortune 500 package looked like? In any case, I agreed to talk the next day. I felt a little better that I had the difficult conversation behind me, but I was not feeling good about anything.

God’s Big Finish

The next day comes, and my team throws me a goodbye party, cake and all. I tried to be happy about it, but I was still pretty confused. At the end of the day, I get a call back from the client. He tells me he has an offer for me and to grab a pen:

• First off, he met the salary I was being offered at the new place

• He would pay for the first 3 months of my COBRA to cover healthcare (due to their onboarding requirements) so I could get my son, and I covered on Day One

• I could work from home

• I could take my time selling my house and find a new place that would work better for my family

• He went through their benefits package, and it was competitive. Not as comprehensive as the Fortune 500 but good.

• And the job itself? I’d build a marketing team, and I was the first marketing person he hired in the history of his business.

I sat there at my desk, phone in one hand, pen in the other, stunned.

Are you freaking kidding me? Was he really serious?

He indeed was.

I needed time to process the whole situation. I was concerned if I had any non-competes in place because as an agency, there are rules about clients recruiting agency personnel, etc. Ironically, due to the sale of ownership, my original non-compete was null and void, so I was in the clear. I accepted the position the following day.

I did feel a bit of guilt and some people thought I was trying to pull a fast one to work for a client but my colleagues, closest to me, understood and were happy. The way things unfolded, I could understand why people might see this situation negatively. I had already resigned at this point; there was not much anyone could do.

Making Paths Straight

Clearly, God had a plan for me. I just had to move through the other things first to exercise my faith and give God a chance to show up. The dream was a precursor to let me know that many good things were coming my way. For the first time, I fully comprehended what it meant to “not lean on your own understanding…and he will make paths straight.” Little did I know that more of those opportunities were coming my way.

The footnote is that I am still employed at this same company today 10 years later. I still report to this “client”, and he is the best boss I’ve ever worked for. That was one of the many gifts.

This was Miracle #1. I experienced three in a relatively short period of time. I think God was trying to draw me near to him. Well, He succeeded since I’ve been actively on this journey ever since.

I think the biggest problem we have in receiving our desired Miracles is we get in our own way. Consider this:

• When you find yourself trying to solve your own problems, stop and pray. Do nothing until you have inner promptings or signs before taking any next steps. This may mean getting quiet and stopping the chatter in the head to hear answers. Meditation is wonderful for this.

• When you really desire a breakthrough, think about it from the perspective that God is working on it. Thank Him for working on it and tell him you are expectantly waiting for the good news.

Watch Part 2, when the next Miracle unfolded.

I immediately recalled this scripture from Matthew 6:33:

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Do I do that? Do I seek His Kingdom and Righteousness first? What does that even mean? This scripture offers a promise — “and all these things will be given to you as well”. However, with every promise God offers, there is always “a give” on our side. How am I doing on the “give side” of this promise?

My simplified understanding of this would mean that I put God first in my life. Praying is a form of “seeking”, as we look and think upward toward the divine in our prayers. Perhaps there is more to it than that.

I did a search in the Bible on the word “seek” since I knew that there were more references I had read before. Several came up:

But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul. - Deuteronomy 4:29

Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. - Psalm 105:4

Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart - Psalm 119:2

I totally underestimated how many times the word “seek” is used in scripture. There are MANY - the search results went page after page. Finally, I turned to an AI search, because I got more curious about how many times the word “seek” is used. AI returned that in the King James version of the Bible, it is mentioned 144 times, in the New International Version, it is mentioned 120-130 times and varied due to the translation, and other versions were in a similar range.

Wow!

Frankly, I have read past many of the “seek” statements, I hadn’t fully considered the weight of it. Clearly, it is an important part of our relationship with God and Jesus, otherwise it wouldn’t be repeated so many times.

We can conclude, as believers of God and Jesus, we are supposed to do everything we can to “seek” them with intention. Spend time in the “seeking”; seek their presence, their face, their guidance, their correction, even quiet time in silence with them.

Our drive to “seek” is usually in the form of worldly things like information, learnings, achievements, goals, etc. Heck I just finished up an executive MBA, what was I seeking in that? Cleary a worldly achievement of some sort. This exploration made me want to inventory some of my subconscious thoughts and identify those subtle desires that ultimately lead me to places that I may or may not want.

For example, one of my more conscious “seeking” efforts in my relationships is to seek peace - a peaceful resolution, a peaceful relationship, or any effort to bring about understanding so that peace can be achieved when there isn’t any. On the surface, this seems like a good thing. It stems from my people pleasing growing up, trying to keep everything in a good place. When I peeled back the motive behind this “seeking” peace God showed me something I didn’t quite like. It wasn’t just about achieving peace and caring about others, it was focused on me not wanting to be uncomfortable in a difficult situation or trying to control outcomes which also means controlling others. Ouch, that truth hurt a bit. Are there times when I’m moving from a heart-filled grace to achieve peace? Yes, there are, but not always. Discernment will be the key in my full understanding here. I guess I have some more things to discuss in my next confession…..

The question is when am I seeking God for God’s sake, and when am I seeking things for me? It is time to get my priorities straight in my relationship with God and Jesus. While there are many ways to “seek” Him, it is time to get back to the basics about “seeking the kingdom and righteousness first” …such as:

• Spending more time in prayer

• Meditate more so I’m not doing all the talking

• Read more scripture (this will help with learning righteousness)

• Change up my current prayer routine so I can be more present - I tend to zone out when I’m going through the motions

• Sit quietly so I can “hear” Him if he has something to say

I know these actions are the things that will truly satisfy my soul. I always feel better and more grounded when I spend time in prayer. There is no substitute.

One thing I do know is that God always keeps his promises. I have evidence in my life of this, which I’ll share as we go along. If we do our part, he always does his.

Do you “seek the Kingdom first” in your life? If you do, how do you do it?

My goal in writing this Substack is to share my personal journey in what I’m calling the pursuit of a Holy Life. It sounds fancy, but I’ve come to learn that’s its a fundamental learning to being human. I confess I am a practicing Catholic with renewed Faith but I am no expert nor am I claiming to be. I just want to share what I’m learning with the hopes of opening a new door or window for someone else.

Frankly, being a Catholic was a big let down for me growing up. I was part of GenX where we got totally ripped off in how we were taught Catholicism. Church was what got in the way between my massive bowl of Captain Crunch and Looney Tunes on a Sunday morning. It was one of the few moments where my brother and I would co-exist and laugh together (more on that later). Sometimes our family would go out for breakfast after Mass (a rarity) so that was a motivator. I’d let my mind wander about what I’d order at breakfast during mass (and sometimes still do).

A highly memorable moment that took me away from the Church was when I watched my Mother go to confession and she was reamed out by the priest in that terrifying dark confessional box. She cried all the way home, it was tramautic. All I could think about was, what did she say or do that was so terrible? I was as upset as she was. Not long after, I became very disconnected. When I got Confirmed, I immediately said to myself “Phew, that is over,” and I stopped going to Sunday mass for years. I didn’t go back until I had my son and it was time for his “turn” in Faith building. My goal at that time was just to provide a religious foundation for him, nothing more. I hadn’t figured anything out by the time I was 35 when he was getting started, but hey, it was something.

The idea of Holiness was like the incense smoker they doused on the altar, something fleeting, with a scent that left me wanting for more, then quickly forgot about it.

I invite you along in my Faith journey as it continues to unfold, with a dose of reality and stories to keep it real. Thank you for reading this far and being patient as it took me this long to get the courage to make this writing commitment. My Holy Spirit has been prompting me to get on with it, so here I am.

I promise to:

• Share my life stories with a dose of humor and being real

• Open minds about what might be calling you forward in your divine path

• Not get too preachy, but if I do you are welcome to call me out on it

• Relate scripture passages to life lessons, experiences and things that have happened in my life or those around me

• Better understand why seeking Holiness is a really powerful way to live

• Pave a path to get closer to God, Jesus, and the Blessed Mother

• Share ideas that might help reconsider Catholicism and see the real beauty of this Faith

• Reframe the thinking that Catholiscm is all rules and regulations, when it is really a ticket to freedom

That’s alot of promises. This will take time to work through, and I’ll be leaning into Holy Spirit to guide me in this. So, please bear with me. God is good, this I know.

Onward and upward…

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