Gawd dammit.  Once upon a time, I wasn’t that skeptical when I dealt with people online.  People were just genuine because… they were genuine.  And I simply didn’t do business with people who gave me the impression that they just weren’t nice or if it was evident that they didn’t care about technology.  But now, everyone’s trying to be nice.  Everyone’s trying to pretend like they care about YOU.  They don’t.  They can’t even be bothered to write you a personalized letter.

In politics, the Internet has turned democracy into a game of “click this button to sign and send the petition” with a scripted note, only to receive a scripted note in return from the political parties you contacted.  All aboard the merry-go-round!  On social networks, your wall or timeline or profile is hijacked by friends that think it’s ok to use your personal profile to market their shit.  And they expect you to share their stuff because, you know, you’re “friends”!  That’s not how it works.  Oh, and if you do really well, all of a sudden, your “friends” resent you.  And bloggers know that if they are able to write enough guest entries or get enough links exchanged with others, they can quit their miserable day jobs and just live off the income coming from the advertising on their blogs.  It’s why they send you generic letters that make it look like they love your blog… but little do you know, they don’t give a damn – it’s all an attempt to get THEM more readers.  Case in point, I just received this letter (I’ll just share the first paragraph):

“I am contacting you today after coming across and reading the great content on your blog— to log and catalog desires, wishes, and things you plan to accomplish is by far the most important aspect to actually undertaking goals! Most people do not put their thoughts on paper—consequently leaving them without tangible reminders and constant ambition. I’m sure you can imagine how important this idea could be for those going through health struggles regardless of what they may be. An individual going through treatment, in remission, and even the family members of those with chronic or terminal illnesses face everyday challenges of maintaining a quality of life—self-motivation and inspiration is the key!”

Sounds genuine, eh?  Since I’m a skeptical little bugger now, I decided to google her name and in a separate search, I also looked up the first sentence of that paragraph.  Turns out, it’s a script.  Same exact letter was sent to other bloggers… except they were stupid enough to let her write a guest post or do a link exchange.  Her blog is about cancer survival or something.  Regardless of the cause, it’s a formula I don’t like.  It turns us all into spammers instead of people who could take a few minutes out of their time to write something more personalized.

The thing I hate about this is that it works.  It works so incredibly well.  Cookie cutter script, send it off to a shit load of bloggers, watch your traffic go up..and potentially, your advertising revenue goes up too.  I just refuse to take part in it.  It takes more time but whenever I decide to drive traffic to a site, I write something very personal to each blogger.  Yeah, maybe I went looking for traffic but at least I won’t tell you generically that ‘your content is great!’.  Instead, I’ll tell you exactly why I love your blog.  And if I don’t love your blog, I won’t write.  Period.

I don’t like bullshit.  Sadly, there’s a lot of it online.  And there’s a lot of people profiting from it.

But there are also a lot of people profiting from using social media by just being themselves.  Don’t beg.  Don’t pretend.  Step outside of your circle of friends and let others get to know you.  It’s not comfortable but if you open yourself up to the world online, there’s a good chance that people will gravitate towards that instead of the plastic ‘pretends’ all around them.

No related posts.

I don’t understand.  I was brought up by my mother, a school teacher, and my father, a mechanic, both of which had a real sense of work ethic.  They taught me that success in life is determined by success in schooling.  They made sure that I was a high achiever.  They made sure that I spelled things properly.  They made sure that if I presented arguments, that they were valid and fully thought out.  They never accepted “this sucks” as a reason to stop or start doing something.

Later on, it was evident that this wasn’t the “cool” thing to do.  I dropped my grades in order to fit in.  But when the kids were partying, I was secretly reading Shakespeare and non-fiction because I couldn’t get enough of it.  I wanted to know everything.  I wanted to know more about the world.  I really wanted to know how to approach problems the right way.  That made sense to me: if something is bothering you, fix it.  And if you don’t know how to fix it, do some research.  Someone, somewhere has likely solved that issue in some way.  There’s nothing wrong with copying what works and applying it to your own problems.  And if a solution hasn’t been invented, then right on, you get to innovate!

But I  just thought that this was a high school thing.. surely, the adult world wouldn’t be so bad.  I went to college and university… and I was scared.  Scared AND bored, especially in university.  Education was being dumbed down because the average kids couldn’t keep up.  Ideas mattered more than how you communicated those ideas.  Is this what the work world will be like?  What are they preparing me for?  A life of mediocrity?

And sure enough, that’s what the work world is like.  Throughout my fifteen years of work experience, I’ve yet to encounter a workplace that encourages innovation and intelligence.  We build these systems that take the most common denominator (“average”) and make that the overall voice of the company.  Some of these workplaces are lucky enough to hire very bright individuals.  But give those people a year or two of experience within these companies and they turn into miserable, mediocre performers.  Why?  Because they are never given the chance to be awesome.

We’ve built a world where it’s cooler to be dumb than to be bright.  In fact, we make sure to promote people who are average to management positions because we’re threatened by brightness.  What would happen if we allowed creative people to take over?  It would shatter the system.  Average people are afraid of change; bright people chase it.  There’s a reason that there are so few companies that do very well in the world.  And there’s a reason why there are so few highly creative individuals who do well in their careers.

It’s because it takes courage to fight the system.  It demands so much effort to not want to comply, to push for better conditions, to refuse to conform to bullshit, to refuse to use cliches, to refuse to use “business-speak”.  I fucking hate “business-speak”.  Our creation of dumb work environments depends on the business world taking over the English language and turning it into language that most people don’t understand.  Managers think this makes them look smarter.  It doesn’t.  It makes you look stupid because intelligent people know that it takes more effort to say something simple than to use language that nobody understands.

There’s a lot going on in the world right now.  But one thing that I will always keep my focus on is the refusal to allow myself to become “them”.  I refuse to speak in cliches.  I refuse to use the word “cycles” instead of “time”.  I refuse to do things that are illogical.  I refuse to treat people as liabilities.  I used to dumb myself down when I didn’t feel like dealing with bullshit.  It’s amazing how many conflicts you can avoid when you play the ditzy girl.  But I’ve always known better.  Now, I’m the bright grown-up who takes issues head-on.  It’s amazing how much resentment you get from people when you challenge their thinking.

And that’s how it should be.  We should be happy to be challenged.  We should encourage it.  We should create environments that encourage innovation and creativity.  And we should finally construct a world where it’s not OK to be dumb or to act dumb.  And we need to start NOW.

No related posts.

2011 was a crazy year.  I tried a whole bunch of new things and I met a lot of interesting people either by seeking them out or purely by happenstance (filmmakers, athletes, dancers, escorts, refugees, protesters, etc).  I value my interactions with other people over everything else.   It’s often more educational and more interesting to share and contribute with others.  And then you have to take the time to process those experiences.  This year, I met more people that I normally would not have met through my regular routines.. and it exposed me to issues and ideas that I never thought I’d have to consider before.  It opened my eyes and changed my prejudices… because we often think we know it all about a group or type of person, until we meet them and spend time with them and realize that we know nothing.

I took a few business risks and settled on what I knew best instead of the unknown.  I worked my ass off and then realized that I needed more time for myself.  I put some projects aside (like Her Voice) and got rid of others (like OttawaFilm).  It left me wondering if it’s possible to achieve greatness if you don’t live and breathe your passion by working ALL of the time – and then it made me wonder if ‘greatness’ is overrated if it means sacrificing time to learn and to explore and to be quiet.

Financially, I kept investing in index funds and I don’t plan on changing that too much in 2012, though I may buy some stocks in the fall.  I did sign up for the Investment Funds in Canada course (as opposed to the CSC) in order to get my mutual funds license.  Since I don’t plan on ever working for a bank, the IFIC course is cheaper and will give me a greater understanding of the world of mutual funds.  Also, I’ll be tracking every penny in and every penny out.  That’s new for me as I only tend to track money that I’ve saved or spent on bills.  I’m sure it will make me less interested in buying a Starbucks latte every night. 

I also signed up for a university course in Commercial Law, just for fun.  Writing contracts is hard enough when you’re just starting out as a small business owner – it’s going to be very helpful to learn more about everything from contract writing, to tort, to employment law.

Next year, I’ll also be making a greater commitment towards my health and specifically, my nutrition.  I did a great job with exercising regularly in 2011.  That, plus my weekly physiotherapy sessions and bi-weekly massages, went a long way to making me feel more fit.  Now, the challenge will be to adopt a lifestyle that is less indulging when it comes to food.  I’ve decided to incorporate intermittent fasting as part of my routine for the next few months.  I’m giving it until March 1st and then we’ll see if I want to continue.  I’ll be trying out the weekly fast.  So a full 24 hours without eating (tea and water is fine).  I won’t be taking any other supplements (other than my regular multivitamin) since this isn’t necessary, even if it comes highly recommended in most IF plans.  My first day of fasting is TODAY.  So far, so good.  Green tea helps!

I want to blog more next year, too.  I think I’m finally going to setup a blogging schedule.  I have a million and one things I’ve been meaning to share with you but I never took the time to sit down and write.  With a new design, a new host and a regular schedule, this blog should be much more happening in 2012.  I hope you’ll join me in my new journeys and I look forward to hearing your feedback.  I’m thinking of launching a series of Challenges (health, finance, education, etc) so that will be fun. 

I wish you all a very happy New Year!!

Related posts:

1. My Thoughts on Pro-Lifers
2. Thoughts from up north
3. Finding that one true love: more thoughts about city life.

But we North Americans are so wimpy when it comes to bugs… eating them is the last thing on most people’s mind!  But being the bug nerd that I am, I’ve always wanted to try it.  And since the opportunity to try eating insects is pretty much non-existent around these parts, it dawned on me that I had seen some in a nearby candy store.  Tonight, I figured what the heck, let’s do it!

I bought two different kinds of bugs, crickets and larva, in three different flavours (bacon and cheese, sour cream & onion and mexican spice).  Honestly, I would have preferred to not have flavouring on them but I didn’t have that option.

After eating dinner, I decided to try out the bacon and cheese crickets first.  I’ve heard that larva are actually pretty ‘easy’ to eat.. kind of taste like pork rind.  So I figured I’d leave the easy ones for last.  Crickets though… they have eyes and legs and usually, I’m outside observing them.. not looking at them dead in the palm of my hand!

It’s a bit harder to eat something that still has its eyes.

I poured myself a glass of cranberry juice and opened up the bacon and cheese crickets.  Took three in my hands and ate one.  It tastes a bit like peanuts.. in terms of flavour.  The texture is interesting… kind of like the husk of a peanut shell as parts of the cricket (wings and legs) end up staying in your mouth if you don’t grind it down right away.  All in all, the crickets are ok.  Not bad, not great.

Next, the larva… definitely much better!  Actually, the only thing I couldn’t handle was the flavouring!  When they say ‘Mexican Spice’, they mean spicy HOT!  I would definitely buy a batch of these in the other flavours, like BBQ or cheese (they didn’t have those at the store but I know they exist).

I’m happy I finally tried this.    Now, I’m thinking of finding an online distributor to see if I can try other insects.. or at least get myself a whole bunch of larva that I can snack on – hey, it’s good for ya!

No related posts.

I am not really sure to begin.  My initial impression was that these were people who were fighting for the lower and middle classes.  That they were perhaps hoping to use their presence to influence positive changes, through protest, presence and education.  I thought that maybe this was one large group, unified under a similar set of goals, likely there to support the NYC movement and our American counterparts who have a financial system that is much, much worse than the one in Canada.  I understand solidarity movements like that and I think they have their place.  But, I didn’t see or hear any of that.  Instead, when I walked into the park, I saw signs denouncing capitalism, signs about solidarity, signs about poverty.  Hmmm.. ok.   So let’s find out more about what this is all about then.

I noticed a flag that had been placed on top of the fountain (which pisses me off because it’s a beautiful fountain that should be left alone).  So I asked one of the guys there about the flag and why it was there.  “It’s the Palestinian flag.”, he said.  Apparently, a group of them protested for Palestinian rights a few days ago.  Wait.  What?  How does this fit in with the whole Occupy movement?  Is the Occupy movement just an umbrella for all causes?

So I walked around and observed.  There are probably two dozen tents… maybe more.  I didn’t count them and most of the people I met weren’t staying at the camp.  They were supporters.  The ones I met who were staying at the camp said that they plan to stay there for as long as possible.  There wasn’t an end goal.  So why were they camping there then?  What’s the objective?  To show defiance?  To wait for utopia?  To fight for certain rights?

I understand the civil rights movement, the anti-war hippie movement, and I even understand some of the Occupy movement in New York.  But this, I don’t understand yet.  This felt more like an anti-poverty movement and the people were there… just because?

I met a man named George who has been fighting for homeless people, particularly kids.  He informed me that there’s only one shelter/living area for homeless youth under 16 in Ottawa.  Ten beds for boys, ten beds for girls.  That’s it.  To me, that’s a worthy cause to support.  And he was particularly worried about GLBT youth.  I understand that and I would get behind something like that.  And if these people were camping out to support the youth homelessness issue, I would call it an honorable and important cause.  As a capitalist, these are the kinds of issues I’d like to support when I have enough income to allocate to things like shelters and food and necessities, especially for kids.  (And don’t get me started on the anti-capitalism kids.  The minute you start spewing anti-capitalist rhetoric, no one will take you seriously, including me.)

But this isn’t a movement.  It’s a fractured group of people with different agendas.  It’s deeply disorganized.  I heard people speaking poorly about other people in the camp.  There was drug use.  There was a pile of dirty dishes.  After inquiring about the flag, the next thing I asked about was a list of needed items.  I spoke to three people and nobody knew what was really needed or where the list was or if it was online or not.. and then someone finally confirmed that it’s apparently online but may not be up to date.  “Who knows.  It’s not one of my duties so I don’t know much about it”, said one girl.  “But we need duct tape!”

So, I bought them a roll of duct tape.  “Why’d you buy us duct tape?  We’re not tying anyone up around here!”, said a man.  I just shook my head.

I also watched a video on youtube, before heading to the park, that showed one of the occupiers saying that he doesn’t need the city, doesn’t need the Mayor… but um, please give us electricity and water!  Well, which one is it: do you need the city’s electricity and water or do you not need it?

As I kept walking around, it was clear to me that this was really a place to squat.  Met a few interesting characters, some which had obvious mental health issues.  That’s fine and I expected it since these are the guys I’d see around the area before the tents were up anyway.  But there were certainly more of them than usual.  Occupy Ottawa has become a tent city.  It reminded me of Vancouver’s downtown east side.

This didn’t feel like a movement at all. It felt like.. nothing.  It felt like the kind of place I’d run across in Fallout (a video game that features a world after a nuclear disaster).  It felt like a survivalist movement – live on little, tough it out, we’ll be just fine in -30 weather, first aid tents, kitchen, porta potties (which I heard were supplied by the unions), crafts, pets, tarps, etc.

Other than the homelessness issue, particularly the push for more housing, there’s nothing there that I would be interested in supporting.  I don’t see this lasting the winter as I think they’re seriously ill prepared to deal with the cold.  When I asked how they were going to keep themselves warm or how they were going to insulate their tents, or even use the pallets that were given to them, most of them had no idea.  Some mentioned building yurts and work was underway to build a giant teepee.  I’ve been in a winterized teepee.  Whatever they were building was not the kind of foundation I’ve ever seen in a teepee before!

All in all, go check it out for yourself.  It seems to me that these people are not the 99%.  They’re a small subset of society with very radical views.  I didn’t meet anyone there who identified as middle class or who espoused interest in issues affecting the middle class, except for one senior who came out to support the movement and who griped about the differences between the rich and the poor.  “I’m here to support them but I’m going home at night in my warm apartment to cuddle with my wife.”

Related posts:

1. My first protest in Ottawa
2. More video footage of the G20 rally in Ottawa

J’en reviens pas comment y’a pas beaucoup de choses vrai dans l’monde.  Surtout pas dans le monde humain.  On aime tellement ça faire à semblant.  Faire plaire.  Se faire aimer.  On tente pas souvent, eh?  On essaie pas beaucoup d’choses.  On est fière.  Ah, qu’on est tellement fière.

J’ai envie de fumer.

Si ma chum serait icitte, on irait fumer sur mon balcon ensemble.  On dirait pas grand choses.  C’est ce que j’aime d’elle.  On peut fumer en silence.

On veut toujours parler.  On écoute rarement, mais on aime donc ça s’écouter parler.  J’aime pas le monde qui parle tout le temps.  Ferme ta gueule mon chum.

C’est une de ces soirée où j’ai pleins de choses à faire mais ça me tente pas des faire.  Là que j’y pense, je peux les faire demain.  Au lieu, je m’assis dans la noirceur de mon apartement, j’écoute Louise Attaque, j’me prend comme écrivaine.  J’veux rien savoir du monde tout de suite.

Tu sais de quoi je parle.  Peut-être que non.  Y’a des gens dans le monde qui veulent toujours être autour d’autres personnes.  J’trouve ça malade! C’est trop étouffant!  Comment se connaître si on est jamais seul?

Quand je rêve, je rêve d’être seule.  Y’a toujours elle – mais c’est stupide d’y penser.  Moi et la forêt, moi et la ville, mais pas moi et les gens.  Ça me tanne trop.

Ce soir, je suis un bleu calme.  Une vague qui roule, lentement.  Laisse-moi rouler.  Laisse-moi tranquille.

Ce soir, je suis un peintre sans confiance.  On connaît tous ça… vouloir faire quelque chose mais ayant aucune croyance qu’on est bon ou bonne pis on dit ‘ah, qui mange d’la merde! J’vais l’faire quand même!`.  Mais on l’fait pas.  Parce qu’on n’y crois pas assez.  Y crois-tu, toi?

Es-tu capable de juste le faire?  De te mettre vulnérable comme ça?

J’ai pu envie de fumer.  Tu vois, ça passe comme ça.  Les envies.

J’ai envie d’elle des fois.  Pas envie, comme envie sexuelle.  Just envie d’être à côté d’elle.  J’y dirait mais elle croit pas personne.  Y’a des gens comme ça.  Qui se sont fais blesser tellement que l’espoir est plus là.  Tout le monde est méchant.

On se protège.  On a peur.  On prend soin de nous même.  Y’a personne qui peut s’interesser à nous comme nous.

Ouais.  J’prennerais une bonne cigarette là.

Assise dans la noirceur de mon apartement.  Mon dos fait mal.  Il pleut.  Et j’écris.

No related posts.

So after looking at the nutritional plan that Duncan created, I decided to start a high-protein diet asap to get my body ready for a bodybuilding diet.  I didn’t want to start working out only to crash a few days later.

After doing some research, I decided that the Dukan diet was the best way to get the ball rolling.  A friend of mine lost a significant amount of weight on that diet and I just like the fact that, unlike the Atkins diet, it doesn’t allow you to indulge in fatty foods.  But like Atkins, it’s a low-carb, high-protein diet.  It has four phases, but I’m only doing the first two since I’ll be jumping into my bodybuilding diet shortly after (which is so similar to the second phase).

So, the first two phases are Attack and Cruise.  The first phase is meant to cause ketosis in your body.  It only allows you to eat lean proteins (mainly animal protein, but allows for vegetarian options too), fat-free dairy products (low or no sugar added) and you must eat oat bran each day and walk for 20 minutes.  It allows for little things like onions, garlic, spices, small portions of dill pickles, coffee, tea, diet sodas, etc.

I had initially planned on doing the attack phase for five days… but that was dropped down to two and a half.  Problem is, I decided to try this diet on the same day that I quit smoking (yes, again).  Imagine the fatigue!!  Dukan himself admitted that people who quit smoking should start with the Cruise phase (which allows one day of pure protein, one day of pure protein with veggies).  So that’s what I’ve done now.

But I’m happy I tried the Attack phase anyway.  Sometimes, it’s good to experience deprivation.  It’s also good to be on a strict diet because it makes it easier to say no to the things that make you fat.  Who cares if you can’t go eat with your friends or have a few drinks at the bar.  It’s only temporary.  It’s a great break.

So what was it like to only eat protein?  It wasn’t pleasant at all.  I ate extra lean ham, roasted chicken, crab sticks, sardines, smoked salmon, sashimi, baked fish, fillet mignon, greek yogurt (plain!), and so many eggs and egg whites.  You get instantly bored and extremely tired.  When I added vegetables for dinner tonight, I felt a surge of energy.  It felt so, so good.

I think I’ll have no problem carrying on the second phase, if only for a month before I transition to the bodybuilding diet.  I’ve also decided to have a couple of tiny squares of 99% dark chocolate since there’s pretty much no fat or sugar in it and it allows me to stay away from sweets.  Either that, or sometimes, I suck on one red grape.  Feels good and keeps me on the diet.

And tonight?  I made kale chips.  HEAVEN.  Why would anyone eat regular chips after tasting that?

Anyway, my hope is that I lose a ton of weight.  I’ve already lost several pounds.  I don’t care if it’s water weight or loss of fat.  It felt good to put on my jeans this morning and having them feel much looser than usual. 

Related posts:

1. Life as a fat girl

When the iPad came out, I ridiculed it.  First, the name was absurd.  Second, I thought ‘but it’s just a giant iPhone’!  There’s nothing special about that.

And then one day, late last year, I realized that I was spending far too much time at my desk, in my chair and that my back was suffering big time because of it.  I tried working on my laptop on the sofa or in bed and that worked for a while but it was too bulky.  I wished for something much more practical, more easy to use when I wanted to change positions.

And then it made sense: I needed a tablet.  I spent a week or two researching the options out there and it was so evidently clear that the iPad was the best one out there.  I sampled it at the Apple store and then finally bought myself one.

I LOVE the iPad.  To me, it’s the greatest invention I’ve seen since computers became mainstream.  It’s a nearly perfect product – it would likely become perfect if I bought an external keyboard for it but it’s not a huge priority.

I’m saying this because it takes a brilliant group of people to create products that are this good.  And those people need a great leader to push them to be great and to discourage apathy or mediocrity.  I’ve been a part of software design teams for a while now and I can tell you that without the proper leadership, most software (and hardware) ends up sucking big time.  And I’ve unfortunately been a part of that much too often.  How terrible it is to watch people implement an idea in such a bad, bad way.  Too many companies have this desire of just getting the product out instead of spending more time and resources to making it a great product.  It’s always about the quick buck without looking at the long-term picture (mostly because most CEOs aren’t in business because of their passion for the product – they’re in it for the potential of becoming rich).  And I don’t buy the mantra that it’s best to release a substandard product into the wild in order to be first to market.  Apple isn’t a great company because it gets its innovative products out first; it is great because it releases amazing products out first.  Look at how RIM responded to the iPhone by releasing the Storm.  What a horrible product that was!

So why was Steve Jobs a great man?  Because he was a dreamer who made his dreams happen.  He had a vision and he pushed that vision forward.  He was even fired by the company he created at one point and instead of being bitter, instead of giving up, he learned from it.

I often hear the term “serial entrepreneur” to describe CEOs that jump from corporation to corporation.  These people aren’t innovators.  These people are just businessmen and women.  Steve Jobs was more than just a businessman.  Yes, he amassed a great deal of wealth and anyone who argues that he doesn’t deserve our attention and respect because he was a rich corporate guy completely misses the point.  His wealth, his corporate empire is just a side effect of his passion.

The passion that we find in great leaders like Jobs is as deep and powerful as the passion found within great artists or great writers or great scientists.  The world needs people that can inspire others.  The world needs people to say no to conformity and to bring forward new ideas, despite how painful it is to do so.  The world needs tools that enable people to communicate, organize and express themselves quickly and efficiently.  The world needs beauty.   And the world needs dreamers, dreamers who are excited about possibility and who, like Jobs, may drop out of college to discover the things that interest them the most.  Because sometimes, a fire burns inside of you and it hurts more to try to extinguish it than to take the risk and make it burn brighter.

And that’s why I tip my hat to Steve Jobs.  And I mourn the death of a man who has inspired me to remember about the things that matter, the things that inspire me, and the things that fuel my imagination and my curiosity.  Jobs was right, life is short, and when you remember that, fear of failure and all of the things that stop you from doing what you love don’t matter any more.

You just do what you love, like he did.

No related posts.

So, in the last week, I’ve managed to try out two items.  The first one is something that I’ve always wanted to do.  I’ve been enamored with black culture since I was a kid when I first heard Martin Luther King’s speech on an Encyclopedia CD (back in the day when the Internet didn’t exist).  From there, I started discovering things like reggae, breakdancing, the civil rights movement, the blues, rap music, etc.  In my early adulthood, I accomplished the dream of finally going to see some authentic live blues music in Fort Worth, Texas.  But I had always wanted cornrows.  It’s a traditional African hairstyle – something you’d never have seen where I grew up.  I’ve always found it tremendously beautiful but never had a chance to get it done.  And then, last week, I realized that this is something I can finally do!  There are plenty of black salons in the city so I figured I’d find the closest one and see if they could do it for me.

Sure enough, there’s a tiny Congolese hair salon right near my workplace.  They spoke French, not a word of English, so I found that to be a nice little bonus since French is my mother tongue.  After discussing the idea with the hairdresser, we booked an appointment.  I settled on a diagonal pattern at the top and just regular cornrows for the rest.  It took about three hours and sometimes, my hairdresser would break into Congolese song in her mother tongue.  It was a fantastic experience – we mused about the Quebecois, Congolese politics, the differences between our race and culture (she called me “blanche”) and our ambitions in life.  I met her brothers, her nieces, her nephew.  You’d never really see that in a typical salon.  This was a family affair.  I love small shops like that…it made me miss home.

When it was finally done, she gave me a hairnet/scarf to cover my hair while I sleep and shower and just parted with this single advice: “don’t get them wet!”.   Since I’m white, they won’t last that long.. maybe two weeks.  But I love them!  And I told her that I’ll be back but that next time, we’ll try extensions. 

Wheeeeee!

And then…

Firing the .308 rifle.

I decided to contact a guy I met at a film industry gathering.  He owns a company that supplies Airsoft weapons for film and tv shows.  Anyway, we had a good talk that night about target shooting and how I have always wanted to try out firing real guns.  Sure enough, he made it happen!  So, last Sunday, a friend and I headed out to the gun range to meet my new friend and some of his pals.  They taught us a bit about weapon safety and how to hold a rifle properly.  We started out firing a .22, but even after telling them that I had no interest in trying out bigger guns, they convinced me to try different rifles – like the Russian military gun, the SKS and then, the amazing .308 rifle.  All in all, it was AWESOME!  I loved the mental aspect of aiming for a target while fighting my fear of the noise and recoil.

I went from being a complete sissy when it came to guns to feeling like I could do it – that the noise wasn’t scary anymore and the fear of recoil just disappeared.  I wanted to hit the target and that became my obsession in the end. To be able to control the gun, control my breathing and nevermind the rest.

My ears were ringing after firing the SKS!

Because it’s not always the gun you’re shooting that’s scary – it’s the guys shooting these super loud weapons next to you that will scare you half to death!

I’ll definitely be back.  I’ve decided that I’d love to hunt small game, especially grouse! And what a great exercise in focus.  Despite what some people would perceive as “violence”, there’s a very zen-like quality to shooting a firearm.  The only other time I’ve felt that is during photoshoots.  The two kind of go hand-in-hand as I discovered a while back that a few filmmakers go to the range to practice their shooting so they can focus more when they practice their craft.

And just a final note on the range: my friend and I were the only women shooting guns that day.  Personally, I think that women should try out this sport (or hobby).  I find that my female friends are pretty divided over this but I figure that if you’ve got a fear of guns and it’s stopping you from exploring things like hunting or target shooting, it’s possible to beat that fear and become more confident with the idea of handling and discharging a firearm.  Just find the right people to go shooting with and everything will be ok – and I bet you’ll have a blast like I did!

So there you have it.  What will I try out next?

Related posts:

1. Crossing things off my bucket list
2. …of the day: Girls who are boys who like boys to be girls

My mother posted a status update on Facebook the other day saying that she was starting to cross things off her bucket list.  I didn’t even know she had one.  I was surprised and happy to learn this.  At one point, I was worried that my parents wouldn’t continue to explore things.  That they would just age comfortably like so many other people I know.

When I was a kid, I don’t think they understood my curious urges.  I was all over the place… wanted to try this and that and didn’t care much for “danger” nor for fitting in boxes.  So they tried to protect me a little too much.  Natural reaction to trying to raise a kid who’s a little over the top.  But now, I think they’ve started appreciating the beauty of trying new things, taking plunges, accomplishing things they never thought they’d tackle.

So that’s inspired me to do a bit of my own adventuring.  In a week and a half from now, I’m going to a gun range to shoot some real guns.  I’m beyond excited – it’s something I’ve always wanted to do!  My dad and I used to shoot his air gun a while back and I was almost always on target.  It gave me an urge to continue shooting.  I find it brings me the same kind of zen experience as shooting with a camera.. except the target, the subject, is smaller so focusing is more intense.

And then?  More snowshoeing this winter.  I found a buddy to go explore the local forests, maybe I’ll even rent a cabin this winter and enjoy that.

I don’t know.  I have this urge.

(I think I want to learn carpentry, too.  You know, the basics.  Building things!)

I was starting to feel a bit guilty about slacking off a bit from my side business but now, I have no regrets.  I’m enjoying taking a break.  It’s almost autumn.  Autumn is a time for self-reflection.  And as they say, life is indeed short.  I’d rather try new things than get stuck in a habit where living is replaced with merely existing.

Happy September, everyone.

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1. Managing the things you love…