Fashionable Baby Fat

Being Present

2012-05-18T11:08:00.001-04:00

So my New Year's resolution this year was "to be present". This is a hard thing for me to do. I'm a go-getter and don't really like to sit still. Sometimes I think I'm addicted to being busy and that even means too busy for my son and my family. I have been known to come home and instead of play with Judah when he asks, I would say, "Wait just a second baby, I will as soon as I do the dishes" and inevitably don't stop DOING until the opportunity has passed.
I DON'T want to be that kind of mom or wife.
So on to the task at hand.
Be present.
Play with Judah. Listen to Justin when he talks to me instead of being immersed in Pinterest or other social media that tends to suck me in.
I'd say I'm off to an OKAY start. I think it's an awareness thing. I have made myself aware that I'm not always present and catch myself when I may be preoccupied and stop what I'm doing. Besides, the dishes will STILL be there in a few hours, right? (Too bad those bad boys don't do themselves.)

Although I don't post as often as I used to, you know because I'm trying to be present, I still try to find the time to read encouraging blogs. This is one blog that continues to encourage me...especially this post. I look up to this woman even though I've never met her and especially since we don't have a "lead Pastor's wife" at my church. (that's a whole other blog) So, I can relate to her and love this blog entry. Check it out.

Holly Furtick - Balance

Overdue Update

2012-01-03T14:37:00.006-05:00

So, I wrote that last post a few months ago but never posted it. Not sure why. I still feel the same way though. :)

I just got back to work after enjoying 2 glorious weeks of Christmas Vacation. It was wonderful. Seriously. It was a bit bizarre. Ahh...the joys of working at a school. I tried to take it all in. I spent lots of time with my Judah-man and with both sides of our family. I took a nap almost everyday. I shopped. And..I ATE!! Boy, did I ever eat! I have started working out at the state-of-the-art gym here at the school I work at so, i guess i will work it off sooner or later.

Santa was in full swing this year. Judah was ALL about it, even though we had to practically bribe him to sit on his lap. He was fascinated that Santa came to OUR house. Also, as the Christmas decorations started going up, his phrase was "there's Christmas right THERE". So wherever there were lights or trees it was Christmas at that very spot. It was adorable.

While on my 2 week break, we really focused on potty training. Judah is almost 3 and we have been working on this for SEVERAL months. He has had #1 down, but #2 is a different story. I had always heard that boys were harder to potty train. WOW. SO true! But we did it after several ruined pairs of underwear and lots of loads of laundry. SO happy to be through that phase! Now I'm wondering if I really want to go back to square one with diapers! (no i'm not pregnant)

Other happenings:

- I'm an Aunt again. Jason and Claire had their first daughter, Emery Elizabeth Johnson. She's beautiful and she loves me.

- Joyce is preggo again and is going to be giving me my first nephew. Excitement.

- Justin's Photography business is really picking up. We did several weddings together this past fall. He's even gotten several gigs here at my work for headshots and such. Yay.

-I am currently planning Judah's 3rd birthday party. It will be a circus theme and it's sure to be a wild and crazy time. I can't believe my baby is getting so big. He looks more like a little boy now. Sad.

I will leave you with this picture of Judah around Halloween.

Grateful

2011-06-20T09:04:00.008-04:00

Grateful.

This word does not even begin to explain how I feel. I am at such a wonderful point in my life. I LOVE my job. I LOVE my family. I LOVE our church.

It's such a strange feeling to NOT dread getting up in the morning to go to work. I actually enjoy my job. What a strange and lovely feeling. I know that God reserved this job for me and kept it to just the right time. My co-workers are amazing, especially my boss. I was so worried about the whole boss thing. I had an AMAZING boss at my last job (which is probably why i stayed there for so long). I was worried i wouldn't have another boss that was so encouraging, flexible and understanding. Well I guess that's why God tells us not to worry. He took care of it ALL!!

Grateful.

It's funny how your work can change your home-life. I have been such a happier, probably more pleasant person to be around. In hindsight i hate that i let my other job affect me in such a negative way at home.

Grateful.

It's not that I'm living in a fairytale right now. There are still hardships and challenges as in with any journey, but i feel like I'm looking at things through different eyes.

I know this post is quite Pollyanna, so sorry for those who may not what to hear all this positivity...but maybe you need to hear it. I don't know. I really am on a mission to not be so negative. I know i have been that way in the past, even to the point that my husband would say "Can't you say anything positive?" Wow, what a wake-up call.

So, to the nay-sayers...I say. "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice!"

Grateful.

New Job

2011-04-26T14:56:00.005-04:00

Well folks, I have a new job! That's right. God is so good. Hang tight, and read below for a true picture of God's favor!

I have been working at my current job, an investment firm, for almost 6 years. I have no doubt in my mind that I was supposed to work here for a season, I just didn't know how long that season would be. I have truly had the BEST boss anyone could ever ask for and have learned so much while here. I was able to wear many different hats and gain quite a bit of responsibility for the company. However, since i didn't want to get the required licenses, I didn't really have anywhere to go in the company. I was content because I HAD a job with a wonderful boss.
I wasn't really looking for a job when the new opportunity presented itself to me. A friend of mine from church said she thought I would be a great fit for the place where she works, a prestigious private school here in town. (Lake Highland Prep School) I thought well that could be a good fit. So, I sent in my resume. It was for a position in the Admissions office. (I had previous admissions experience while attending Lee University, so i hoped that might stand out on my resume) I didn't get my hopes up. I truly put it in God's hands. I prayed "Your will be done, Lord!". I heard there were around 100 applicants. I thought my chances were slim.
I got a call for an interview! I was one of 10. It went well. I enjoyed talking to the Director of Admissions. She was so warm and I thought we clicked.
I got a call 2 weeks later. Another interview to meet the staff in that office. I was one of 3.
I week later i got a call and she offered me the job. WOW!! Now the clincher. Would the pay be comparable to my current income?! IT IS!!! And there are tons of perks. I get 2 weeks off at Christmas, 1 week off at Thanksgiving, Fall Break, Spring Break and all the other school holidays with the exception that I work through the summers. Oh and the huge thing...Judah gets to go there starting with K-4 all the way through 12th grade. What a fantastic education he will get. Oh and it's a faith-based school.
God was totally orchestrating all of it. I didn't have to ask off of work for either of the interviews, I just happened to already be off. Also, i have always said that "working in a school is an ideal job for a working mom". I just never thought i had the chance to do that because I didn't have a teaching degree or certification. GOD knew better.
I accepted the job and i start on Monday!!! I am excited and nervous about the change. But, i know that GOD has planned this out for me. Even all the way back 10 years ago when I got the job in Admissions at Lee. He knew this was in my future. WOW. God is SO good.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you",declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Humble Pie

2011-03-31T15:39:00.006-04:00

Have you ever had to eat a slice or even a whole humble pie? Well I have, many times in my little short life. Just recently my husband, being the awesome youth pastor that he is, felt called to talk about Grace and Forgiveness. I thought it was such a great series especially since it’s such a HUGE concept. I mean really, can we fully grasp Grace? Justin defined it as “Unmerited Favor”. WOW. I’m so thankful for God’s grace in my life. Just like the song says, “If not for Grace where would I be?...” So during his series we broke out one week into c-groups (connection groups) as I began to talk to my group about Forgiveness, more specifically, asking them if there was anyone they needed to forgive, I began to self-examine. I realized that there was someone in my life that I needed to forgive. Yikes. My spirit began to sink. How could I encourage these teens to forgive those who possibly hurt them, when I hadn’t done that very thing!?! So then the conviction set in. (Don’t cha just love that feeling?) I knew I had to do it and had to do it right then. I found the person who had hurt me 5 years ago. That’s right 5 years I had hung on to the hurt and pain. A bitterness had formed in me. I had known for quite some time that I needed to get this off my chest but continued to repress it, because, you see, I HATE confrontation. I don’t think you will meet a less confrontational person. I just want everyone to get along and for flowers and sunshine in my life. So I prayed for courage and humility and approached this person with tears and trembling asking for THEIR forgiveness. You see it was them that needed to forgive me. Yes, I felt that they had hurt me, but it was me that held the bitterness and resentment towards them in my heart. This person was shocked that I was hurt at this circumstance that took place 5 years ago and come to find out it was just a huge misunderstanding. They asked for forgiveness as well and we hugged it out. *SIGH* What a relief to get that off my chest. It was like instant FREEDOM. If I began to tell you all the things God has begun to do in me since that night you would be in shock. I truly feel that it was holding me back. In so MANY ways! Have you ever had a freeing moment in your life? I’d love to hear them! Ephesians 31-32 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

Update

2011-02-24T09:35:00.006-05:00

So it's been forever since I have blogged. I have a few drafts that Ive been working on, but until I'm done with them, i thought I'd give you an update on the business of our lives.

you know i thought life was supposed to slow down after the holidays and new year were over. NOT SO. It has been NON-stop for us. Tons of youth events, possible home renovations, Judah's 2nd birthday (hard to believe), Photography business, the list goes on and on and on!! Thing is I like it busy. I may complain about it, but i wouldn't have it any other way. I like our fast paced life.

Judah is now 2. WHAT? Seriously where does the time go? I have lots more pictures to post so, you'll just have to settle for this one right now. This is Judah on his actual birthday with his birthday balloon. We kept it pretty low key this year. I decided we would have a big birthday bash every other year for him until he's 5 and then we'll figure something else out. Those parties are a lot of work, a lot of money and let's face it, he doesn't need more toys! I made mini Mikey Mouse cupcakes and took them to his school. They were devoured before we could even sing "Happy Birthday". lol. Then Justin and I took him to the Central Florida Zoo. It was perfect for him. The zoo is not too big and we were done by nap time. OH and they have a miniature train, which Judah just LOVED riding. It was a fun family day.

That night we took him to T-REX restaurant at Downtown Disney to meet up with Justin's family (from Tampa) and some of our close friends. He was a little scared of the animated T-Rex.

A week or two later we heard that the Ringling Bros. Circus was coming, so we ended up taking Judah with a few of our very best friends. It was fun. You're never too old for the circus. (Boys and girls of all ages, right?) He sat through most of it with no problem. Next year i think he will like it better, but the Elephants were by FAR his favorite.

Judah is such a trip right now. He's talking up a storm. Singing ALL the time and just full of personality. He's talking in FULL sentences with up to 6 words in them. His newest favorite statement is "Not Yet Mommy" or "Just a minute" (while holding up his little finger.

He can count to 13.

His repertoire of songs are:

Jesus Loves Me

The Itsy bitsy Spider

Row, Row, Row your boat

Take me out to the ball game

Twinkle, Twinkle

A, B, C's

Jesus Loves the Little Children

I'm know there's more, I just can't think of them right now.

Don't get me wrong, the tantrums are in full effect, but for the most part he's a good kid. I love being a mom and honestly would love to have another one. Yeah it's hard work, but I love him more than i could have ever imagined.

Oh and my kisses make everything "all better". Love it.

Justin's Photography business is going well. He's staying busy (as if youth ministry wasn't busy enough, right? lol) We are grateful for the potential to make extra money and he's just so darn talented. I mean seriously he's so good. He does it all. He leads worship, he's a youth Pastor, he edits videos, he's a photographer, he's a handyman, daddy, husband, counselor, SUPERMAN. Seriously.

Our church is awesome and we still LOVE being here...6 years later!! Honestly, we love our church, church family, church vision and Pastor. We are so blessed to be here and God is doing awesome things here. It has been an incredible year with lots of milestone events already!!

Are you bored yet? Next time i promise I will have more pictures. But I'll leave you with this "Wounded warrior" picture. Notice the bruise on the right side of his forehead. Poor little dude.

2011 - Faith for the Unknown

2011-01-11T11:53:00.005-05:00

Well Happy New Year. I'm not sure who still reads this blog, but my blog, I've found has given me an outlet to SO many inspirational blogs. Blogs about Design and blogs about "Preacher's Wives." People who I don't know but feel somehow connected to. Weird.

With this year, I have a lot going through my mind.

First of all I'm back to work, Full - FULL time. For the first year of Judah's life I was blessed enough to stay home with him every Wednesday, careful to keep my hours at 30 per week which is still considered full time since I am the insurance provider for our family. It was bliss. Then this past year I thoroughly enjoyed working 7 hour days. Coming in at 8:30 and leaving at 4:00 to pick up my favorite little boy. Well with the ringing in of 2011, came the ringing reality. Back to 40 hours a week. I have had a very hard time with this. I know it's better for us financially and that is very important, but selfishly want my 5 hours of extra time back. You may think 5 hours a week isn't that big a deal...well for this momma it was HUGE. I got to spend time with my little man in the mornings before work. (Now I don't see him at all) I got to pick him up early from preschool (not to mention avoiding all the traffic of the normal 8 to 5ers out there) which gave me one on one time with the cutest kid around before Daddy got home from work. Also, the extra time helped with the flexibility of time off. If i had a Dr. apt, i could easily make it up one day by working an 8 hour day instead of using sick time. I could go on and on.

Back to Reality.

I'm now 40 hours a week. Happy to have a job. Happy to have a job with a great boss. Happy to have had the 2 years of a more relaxed work schedule. Happy to have a husband who has been very understanding. Change is hard, but we...I will all adjust.

With the new year also comes sometimes a "Fear of the Unknown". I struggle (always have) with worry. I worry about stupid things. I worry about the future. I worry about germs. I worry about money. These are all things I can't control. I have to say I'm excited for a new year, a new start and a fresh calendar with what I'm sure will hold exciting events and scary mountains to climb. It's the mountains I'm fearful of. Thank GOD, what lies ahead for 2011 is not a surprise or a shock to HIM. He knows what our future holds, what mountains are there, and is there with me to climb the hardest mountains. His truth will remain in spite of my worry. His love will remain in spite of my doubt. Thank God for His provision. I am praying that I will have "Faith for the Unknown" in 2011.

2 Timothy 1:7 (NCV) "God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control."

Old Soul

2010-12-13T10:37:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure if I've ever blogged about this before, but I have come to the conclusion that I am just an old soul. Here are my reasons why:
1. I truly enjoy being around people older than me, as a matter of fact, people twice my age. I have always been this way since I was very young. Maybe it has something to do with being the baby of the family and always having older people around me. I feel I gain so much wisdom around those that are older than me and generally just enjoy their company.
2. I am not a big thrill seeker. My husband on the other hand is what i call "wild". He loves a thrill and will ride any roller coaster at anytime. I however do NOT ride roller coasters, nor do i enjoy the thrill of a scary story, movie or anything that will cause me anxiety. Justin is young at heart and will always be. (I guess that's why we are such a good match!)
3. I am not very fashion forward. I am more of a classy attire wear-er. I have my few chosen "trendy" shirts, but for the most part, when i can shop, i shop for an outfit that will last through the trends that come and go. I am still wearing outfits from College (over 5 years ago).
4. I am not a night owl. Justin calls me "grandma". I can, and sometimes do, fall asleep before 10. Essentially i start shutting down around 10 pm on a regular basis. (hey, I'm a busy, working mom, wife and volunteer, so shoot me!)
5. I am old fashioned with manners and morals. I believe in saying "yes ma'am" and "no sir". I believe in spanking. I believe in honoring your father and mother and opening the door for ladies. I mean really, are these SO old fashioned? Spare the rod, spoil the child...right?
6. For the most part, i prefer to stay home rather than go out. Don't get me wrong, an occasional date night out is lovely, rare, but lovely. But, majority of the time, I would much rather be in my pj's and on my couch cuddled with my honey watching a chick flick.
7. I love the old movies. You know, the ones that come on the "American Movie Classics" channel. I love them.

That's all i can think of right now. Maybe I'm just boring and not an old soul at all. HA!

Winter Furnace-land

2010-11-30T10:13:00.004-05:00

I wasn't quite sure what to blog about today, so I opted to vent about how much it does NOT feel like Christmas here in furnace-land.

I sit here with a sleeveless shirt, skirt with no tights and am burning up. It's going to be a high of 86 degrees. Tomorrow will be December 1st and I swear you would think it's going to be September 1st.

*Sigh*

I have never been in a REAL winter wonderland for the holidays, but at least in Tennessee and Georgia it was "sweater weather" or "light coat" weather. This hotness really makes things like decorating for Christmas feel very strange and early...maybe that's why our lights are not on our house yet...hmmm.

Well, I'm sure that the onset of Holiday parties will begin to put me in the mood since i practically missed Thanksgiving due to being sick. I mean really, who gets a stomach bug on Thanksgiving. MISERABLE. Anywho...Parties...I am looking forward to seeing more lights and trees and hearing more Christmas music and dressing up for some parties. I enjoy an excuse to get my "holiday cute" on and to sit around with people I enjoy being around and eating...eating lots.

We did decorate our Christmas tree on Sunday night, which our friends have affectionately named, "anorexic" because it's so chic and skinny. (What can i say, we have a small house, besides, i like our anorexic tree!) This time, we got Judah to help us. He loved it! Mommy unwrapped the ornaments and gave them to Judah and Judah gave to Daddy to hang on the tree. We let him hang a few too. It was GREAT fun! This Christmas is going to be so much fun. I am really looking forward to him discovering all the wonder that Christmas holds.

Everyone keeps asking us what we are going to do with Christmas and Judah. It seems that there are so many alternatives depending on what you want to reveal to your kids. Most importantly we are going to share the real meaning of Christmas with Christ at the center of all that we do. Yes, we are doing SANTA, but not going overboard with it. Honestly, he doesn't have a clue who he is. I kept pointing him out when looking at the ornaments and all he said was "Snowman". LOL. Growing up my family didn't celebrate Santa, but Justin's did. WE want Judah to experience it. We have decided that Judah will only get 3 gifts for Christmas from us. We figure that Jesus the new born King got 3 and it was a-plenty! We also think it will help keep things under control as the years go by. I know the grandparents will overwhelm him with gifts, so trust me, he will not be lacking in the gift arena. Not to mention, his birthday is 2 weeks after Christmas. In the future i would like us to implement "The Jesse Tree". We celebrate Advent at our church and this is a way to bring it to our home and make it a visual thing. Our neighbor introduced me to it. (http://www.crivoice.org/jesse.html) I'm not sure what other traditions we will include. I would love to hear what you and your families do. I want it to be a tradition filled time of year for us.

I want to make a difference...

2010-11-16T10:16:00.003-05:00

Lately I have had this overwhelming feeling of blah. I'm not sure how else to explain it. I am beginning to wonder..."Am I making a difference?" I read so many blogs by pastor's wives and they are speaking and encouraging other women. I am so uplifted by them, but then I wonder..."What am I doing?". Am I merely existing? If I'm being completely honest, there are times that i feel so much pressure as a "Pastor's wife". It's weird for me to even say that phrase. That phrase holds so much responsibility.
I know there are times that I put the pressure on myself. I constantly feel like I'm being watched, that my every word is being recorded and that how I react can cause a chain reaction. WOW. Just writing all of that makes me nervous. I am NOT perfect, nor do I claim to be. There HAVE been times when I say something I shouldn't and yes, I'm sure my facial responses have been less than "politically correct" in certain situations.
Maybe, just maybe I am making a difference regardless of these things. ??? I am really trying to let my guard down and connect with our teens, other couples and members of my church. I don't think I've ever NOT been myself, but maybe I have just displayed a more "reserved Julie".
Maybe, just maybe, me being open about my feelings on this blog are making a difference. ??? I am pretty transparent on here. I've talked about what others are afraid to talk about. I figure, if I'm going through something, surely there are others out there feeling the same way. It's funny. I find myself able to be more open in written words than spoken. Hmmm....
I want to make a difference. I want God to use me. I want to be a vessel for Him. I pray my flesh won't get in the way and that I will seek Him with wreckless abandonment to fulfill the call HE has placed on my life.

Builder or Destroyer?

2010-10-12T09:05:00.005-04:00

Recently I have really been trying to work on my attitude. I have never been one for conflict, but have found myself resenting my duties around the house. Always having to cook, (I very much dislike cooking), do laundry, load and unload the dishwasher. I wouldn't be able to sit down and relax after a long day at work with my husband until all the "necessary" house work was done. At times I would get bitter about it. I would think to myself, "Why do I always have to do the dishes, why am I always the one to cook, why when I wash and fold the clothes can't they be put away, do I have to do everything???" I'm sure I'm not the only one out there that feels this way. (I hope.)

Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down."

Wow. I am single-handedly responsible for building up my home or tearing it down. The choice is mine: to be a part of the divine design or the devil's demolition. My son doesn't make me loose my temper, my husband doesn't cause me to feel exasperated. Proverbs is pretty clear. The choice is MINE.

Wow. That's heavy. And to think for years where women have fought for equal rights, we've missed the enormous amount of power that we have held since Eve was created: the power to build a home. You hear of these women who climb the corporate ladder and invest in businesses to make more money, but what about investing in our home? What about investing in life long marriages and raising Godly children. The Bible says that is a wise woman!

In Matthew 12:34 it says that out of the mouth the heart speaks. We use our mouths daily for expression and the source of our mouths and what we say is our heart. We (I) must be careful what I allow to linger there. I must think on the positive. For example what did Judah do new today and about how bright his future is... instead of how much he disobeyed me or threw a tantrum. I must think about my husband and how thankful I am for all of his hard work to provide for our family, how grateful I am for his companionship instead of other negative things that seem to jump in front of the positive. It's time for a heart overhaul in my life. It's time I started to dwell on the good that is under my roof and to build a home instead of tear it down.

My prayer is that I will open my eyes and shut my mouth when my actions are leaning towards destruction. I pray I choose inspiration instead of irritation. I pray I take the opportunity I've been given to be a wise builder wife and mother instead of a foolish destroyer.

"Mommyisms"

2010-10-06T15:12:00.003-04:00

Judah's Pediatrician is awesome. He looks like Doogie Houwser (sp?) and has 7 kids. He's a great Christian guy with a dry sense of humor and is really laid back (which is perfect for this uptight mom). He also has a website of advise, tips and guidelines for parents of children under 2. There is one page that I enjoy and here are a few of his funny sayings. You moms will enjoy these!

- Boys will go to the doctor as long as their mother brings them. The next time they will go is when their wife makes them go.
- Your children will always be their sickest when your husband is out of town.
- The best exercise plan is do what your child does. Don't sit in the waiting room, run around the chair.
- The reason 2 year olds are so cute is because nobody would love them if they weren't.
-Everything is cuter when you are well rested.
- The best eyelashes are wasted on boys.
- People who think "boys and girls are just the same" never had a 18 month old boy.
- When choosing a Halloween Costume, boys pick out a weapon and then will take whatever costume goes with the weapon.
- The first night your new baby sleeps through the night, one of your other kids will wake you up.
- With their first child, parents come to the 4 month visit with sage 1 fruits and veggies alphabetized and organized in their cabinets. They are just waiting for the doctor to say "Go". With their second child, parents say, "Already? He's too young".
- Four year old boys are the definition of ADHD.
- Your children will begin to misbehave in public once you have a website that gives discipline advise.

Sandpaper People

2010-09-14T10:41:00.003-04:00

Lately, I have been dealing with a particular "sandpaper person" in my life. There is nothing more frustrating than having to deal with someone on a daily basis that rubs you the wrong way. I have really been praying about this person and how to deal with them. This person is supper aggressive, abrasive and just does not mix with my personality. We are like oil and water.

I have come to realize that God has placed this person in my life for a reason. I have yet to figure out what it is.

Lately "sandpaper person" has confronted me on many occasions, made me cry, made me angry (which doesn't happen often) and kept me awake at night. Why to I let this person effect me in this way? I'm letting them WIN!! They are breaking me down, but I know that God is going to build me back up and I will be a stronger person for getting through this.

"We know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope." Romans 5:3-4 I'm praying that this will be my progression: From a difficult relationship to Godly character and then to hope. Hope follows pain because pain forces us to trust God and rely upon HIS power to mend a broken life. It is in that abandonment to God that we find hope.

I'm sure you all have dealt with "sandpaper people". How do you deal with confrontations and situations with them? I pray that God will guide me and you through the difficulties to an appreciation for the "rough" people in our lives and develop Godly character in our lives!

"Fame is vapor, popularity is an accident, riches take wings, those who cheer today may curse tomorrow and only one thing endures - Character." - Harry Truman

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

2010-08-30T14:53:00.003-04:00

Lately I have come to the realization that I listen to the devil's lies more than I should. I have always been an insecure person. I struggled with an eating disorder as a teen and always compared myself to others. I would think, you're not good enough, you're ugly, you're fat, your too short, you don't sing good enough, you're not smart enough....the list goes on and on.
Lies. All lies.
I have listened to the devil far too much in my life. Granted, I'm not as bad as I used to be as far as insecurities go, but in this phase of my life, Worry seems to be what the devil tortures me with. What if Judah gets sick...what if I'm not a good mom...where's the money going to come from...what if my husband stops loving me...what if, what if, what if....
Lies. All lies.
I have been challenged lately to truly search for God's truth in the thoughts of my mind.
2 Corinthians 10:5 (Message)
"We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers, erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ."
God, let me use your truth to compare the thoughts of my mind to. Help me separate your truth from the enemy's trash.

So long baby, Hello big boy

2010-08-23T14:40:00.005-04:00

Lots has happened with Judah, so I thought I'd catch you up!

The first biggest news to share is that we are pacifier free in our house!!! Whooo hooo! I am still in a bit of shock. I decided to just put him down one night without it and see what he would do. I thought for sure he would start crying and not be able to sleep without it and I would dutifully go in and soothe him with his coveted "Uh-oh" (as he affectionately refers to his pacifier). Well, much to my dismay, he went right down and slept the whole night through. SHOCKED!! So, the next day I sent him to school with an an Uh-oh in a baggie and told it was only to be used in an EMERGENCY. Well, there was no need they said and he did great. That night i put him down and began to think okay, I guess I have to stick with this. I started to feel sick to my stomach. You see the beloved Uh-oh was a comfort to Judah but was also a comfort to Momma too.

If Judah was inconsolable, Uh-oh to the rescue.

If Judah was too noisy in church, Uh-oh to the rescue.

If Judah didn't want to go on a road trip strapped in his (probably) uncomfortable car seat, Uh-oh to the rescue.

Daddy has a migraine, Uh-oh to the rescue.

You get the picture.

So, to ensure that I would not cave after a night of screaming or a car ride of crying and pulling my hair out, I decided to throw the pacifiers away. GONE. Out of my house. Now there was no going back. Scary thought. I have to say Judah has done pretty well. We have been pacifier free for going on 3 weeks. After the first week I started to get nervous as he wasn't sleeping well at night and thought we might have been regressing a little, but I think he's getting his 2 year molars. Poor baby. Hoping that pain ends soon.

Judah is now 19 1/2 months and is growing like a weed and learning faster than i ever imagined. He's saying sentences now and is trying awfully hard to communicate but most of the time it comes out as gibberish. He knows (almost) all of his body parts, colors, counting, animals and their corresponding noises. He loves "Melmo" and "Mouse" (aka Mickey Mouse).

Funny story:

So Judah loves Mickey Mouse. He even has Mickey on the front of his diapers and he is well aware of it. So he goes around pointing to his...well, you know, and says "Mouse!" and looks up for acceptance that he is correct. Well there is a mouse on his diapers so technically he is. I guess it's better than calling "it" a tail as one of his 2 year old buddies refers to "it". Too funny.

Judah also started his first day of the Fall 2010-2011 school year. He will be attending the same school, Trinity Christian Academy and will be in the 1 year old room until his birthday in January when he will move to the 2 year old room. I can't believe how big he's getting. The pictures posted are of him on his first day of school.

Ode to Justin

2010-08-11T14:40:00.003-04:00

So, my awesome husband and best friend, Justin Michael Johnson turned the big 3-0 recently. We were so blessed by friends and family and it was actually a birthday week filled with dinners and fun surprises. Thanks to all who made it so awesome! I wasn't able to get him anything for his actual birthday since my gift to him will be coming up in November...I'm taking him to NEW YORK!!! We will be going with another couple and I'm so excited. This is only my second time going and Justin is a virgin New Yorker. We plan on doing all things touristy and of course seeing a Broadway show...fingers crossed for West Side Story! At his big Birthday dinner, since there was no gift to present, I wrote this silly little poem. Just thought I would share. Enjoy!

Ode to Justin

On July 30, 2010 you turned the big 3-0
You’re three decades old; I can’t believe it’s so.
I’ve decided that three decades of Justin are worth a deeper look.
Let’s see all the good dirt I dug up.

From ages 1 to 10 I hear you were quite a mess
All boy and full of energy of which was impossible to repress.
Your mom, dad and brother were curious to see if you would ever mellow
At 30 it’s safe to say, you’re still a child at heart and still a handful of a fellow.

Ages 11 to 20 were trying as well.
You were wild, and in wrecks and as crazy as all…well…
I say you were crazy but a momma’s boy you were or shall I say, are
Involved in Church and lover of the arts, you were a shooting star.
You grew up, well at least in height
And I must say you turned into quite a handsome sight.
You’re so talented that you became semi-famous
And got to travel with a singing group called Truth and dealt with people who were quite ignoramus.

Ages 21 to present you started to see the light
You finally asked Julie out, she’s for sure your Mrs. Right
Lee University opened so many doors,
From traveling the world with Campus Choir to induction into Theta oh man were you sore.
From Video Yearbook, working at M&M Mars and attending formals galore
But most of all you got your degree, couldn’t ask for anything more.

You married Julie in July of 05
And moved to Orlando of all places, what a surprise.
An awesome Youth Pastor you became
You love these teens but most of all when you hang with them, silliness is still your claim to fame.

We began our lives together and bought a home
With a Mortgage and responsibility I guess you could say we became “growned”.
So we decided to build our family and a daddy you did become,
Judah Avery was such a great addition to our family sum!

You are so talented with an ability to do many things, of this let’s explore
As a videographer extrodinar, you edit videos and love it to the core.
Photographer professional you’ve recently become,
Starting a side business for some extra income.
Singing has always been a talent you hold
You think you’re just OKAY, we’ll I’m your #1 fan and hearing you sing will never get old!
There’s so many other talents, too many to name,
Just don’t forget the little people when you head off to fame.

Another year older, just a sign I’d say
Of the fact that the 20’s are long gone and it’s time to face a new day.
Days of more grey hair and another kid, I hope
Or maybe just more opportunities to give you a humorous age poke.

Years 30 plus are looking bright.
As long as we’re together, we’ll do it up right.
You are loved by many but please take note,
We are here for YOU, Birthday boy, and that’s all she wrote.

Daycare...the Mommy replacer

2010-07-01T15:13:00.002-04:00

So yesterday I had a horrible experience when picking up Judah from his preschool. I went into his room to pick him up and he wasn't there. Come to find out he was hanging with the "big kids" in the 2 year old room. (He's kind of a favorite there and the teachers will take him to hang out in their rooms for the aftercare program.) The teacher walked in carrying Judah and as soon as he saw me he clung on to the teacher for dear life. (I'm talking death-grip) I reached out for him and he started SCREAMING. I tried to reassure him and he wouldn't have it. The teacher put him down, and well...FULL ON TANTRUM. I tried to pick him up and he ran from me. SO SAD. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I was able to pick him up and then carry him to the car. I made it to the car and, cue - Waterworks. It hurt my feelings so bad, especially when I think about how he used to run up and hug me every afternoon when I would pick him up.

I mean, have I been replaced? It would seem so. I guess it makes sense, he spends more time there than with me. This makes me more than SAD. I only wish we could afford for me to stay home with him. What a far-fetched dream. There is no way this will ever happen. Breaks my poor little, broken heart. I have tried to reason with myself on this matter and have included my list of pro's and con's. Tell me your opinion on the matter.

Pro: Judah enjoys his time at school
Con: Mommy misses Judah all day

Pro: Judah is loved at School
Con: Judah would receive more love while at home with Mommy

Pro: Judah is learning so fast, due to being at Preschool
Con: Mommy and daddy are going broke paying for Preschool

Pro: Judah has lots of friends
Con: Judah would rather stay with his friends than go home

Pro: Judah spends 8 hours at school.
Con: Judah spends 8 hours at school. (And a mere 2 hrs. with Mommy)

Stinky

2010-05-19T10:46:00.003-04:00

So, I think the time of potty training is upon us. Oh, Lord, Help!!! I am so scared of this phase for some reason. I think maybe it has a lot to do with "boy parts" and aiming. Judah is showing what I consider signs of potty training. He says "Stinky" when he goes poopy and runs to his room to be changed or he will grab the front of his diaper and run to his room. I even heard him say "potty" one day. I have no idea where he picked this word up. I have not been using it, so I have to assume he heard it at school.

The child is only 16 months old, isn't that a little soon? I mean, it's not like I don't welcome the day that I don't have to buy those expensive diapers, but just feel unprepared now. I haven't read any books on potty training or anything. I know one thing I'm going to try is to get the potty seats that clip onto the existing throne. I want to do this for 2 reasons. 1: Our main bathroom is too small to have an extra toddler potty seat in it. 2: I think it will be good to associate the "big" potty as the one he will use, cause Lord knows I can't carry around that mini potty that sings when you flush it everywhere we go! We'll see. I may get desperate.

On another note, this age is loads of fun!! Judah is saying more words that I can believe. He tries to repeat everything we say and is successful more times than not. He's great at saying "tank yooou" and "pease"! (Praise God for manners!) He's very playful and is learning so quickly. He's generally in a great mood and the tantrums have slowed down since he knows there are repercussions to those fits!

I was talking to someone about Judah and how he's being so strong willed already and he put an interesting spin on my perception. He said don't you want a stong willed child? I said well, I guess a kid with a little gusto is good. He said, of course and not to mention he will probably be a leader. The "No's" he's saying now will be the "no's" he tells his friends when they try to get him to do something illegal or morally wrong. Interesting I thought. I never would have thought of it that way, but he's probably right. Funny how your viewpoint can change your perspective.

Motherhood in the Raw

2010-04-19T14:38:00.006-04:00

Motherhood in the Raw meant for all those "I wish someone would have told me's". A few more raw items for you to chew on...

1) Temper, Temper. Judah is now 15 months and the tantrums have begun. That's right folks. Evidently those tantrums don't start at the "terrible two's". Judah has thrown himself on the floor in a fit of rage multiple times. WOW, so not ready for this yet.

2) Time out and Spankings. As a follow-up to #1, these are in full swing. We are experimenting with Judah on what discipline works best for him. I was always spanked as a child, but have a hard time doing this to my own son unless it's absolutely called for...now Justin on the other hand...
Time out seems to work fine for me. I can't believe he just sits still until I tell him he can move; amazing how much he comprehends at this age. I read somewhere to do time out for as long as they are old, but I just do it until he calms down which probably is about the same. I've also heard to just ignore the tantrums. That if he knows he's getting a rise out of you, the tantrums will continue. I guess it's all trial and error. I'm assuming we'll have it all figured out by the time we have another one...or not.

3) Look who's talking now. Judah is talking up a storm. He is trying to repeat everything we say even if it sounds like gibberish. It's really very cute. He will just gab when he's in the car. But if he wants something he's very good at letting us know. Just a few of is words are: "EEEEE" for eat,"MO" for more, "Pees" for please, "Dank you" for thank you, "mmmm" for I love you. We have used a few words with sign language which was great before he could talk, but now it seems pointless since he'll just tell us what he wants.

4) Lovey dovey. Despite #'s 1 and 2, Judah is also so affectionate and gives out kisses like candy, even to the ladies at church. haha. He loves to be held and I don't mind doing it, although he is getting quite heavy! He comes running when we pick him up from daycare or the church nursery and promptly places a wet kiss on our mouth. That is seriously my favorite part of my day!

More to come...Mothering is such a learning process. I learn more and more everyday!

Vent Session

2010-04-13T10:21:00.003-04:00

Okay, so I feel the need to vent. Fair warning: You do not have to read this post. It's simply for my own good.

Why is it that people feel the need to project their feelings about a subject on you? I mean really...why judge me about a certain topic and to make it public on, say...FACEBOOK? All you are really doing is stirring up dissension and unnecessary drama. I chose to simply delete the comment rather than give a rebuttal. Did I mention I HATE drama? I have no desire to be a part of drama and as Justin would say "Save the Drama for your Mama!".

Matthew 7:1-5
"1 Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. 2 For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. 3 And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye."

Wow, I don't think it could be said more clearly. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not perfect and don't claim to be, but I certainly try to be cautious about what I say, and think about what I say before I say it or put it in black and white for all the world to see.

Psalm 139:23
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts."

Okay, so I'm feeling better and am trying not to let the "little things in life" get to me.

My Cup Runneth Over

2010-03-23T09:45:00.004-04:00

Lately I have been feeling so blessed with the life God has given me. I think I take for granted TOO much all the many blessings God has bestowed to me. I serve a God that loves me, I have a loving family that cares for me, a husband that truly loves me, a sweet, loving, healthy son that God has given me, friends that are there for me, a roof over my head, a great church family....the list goes on and on. I love my life and I feel like my cup is just running over with all these blessings. I heard this poem read by one of Justin's relatives at a Christmas gathering about 3 or 4 years ago and haven't been able to get it out of my mind. This poem truly explains how I feel.

I’m Drinking From My Saucer

I’ve never made a fortune,and it’s probably too late now.

But I don’t worry about that much,I’m happy anyhow.
And as I go along life’s way,I’m reaping better than I sowed.

I’m drinking from my saucer,‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

Haven’t got a lot of riches,and sometimes the going’s tough.

But I’ve got loving ones all around me,and that makes me rich enough.

I thank God for his blessings,and the mercies He’s bestowed.

I’m drinking from my saucer,‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong,My faith wore somewhat thin.

But all at once the dark clouds broke,and the sun peeped through again.
So Lord, help me not to gripe, about the tough rows I have hoed.

I’m drinking from my saucer,‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage,When the way grows steep and rough.

I’ll not ask for other blessings,I’m already blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy,to help others bear their loads.

Then I’ll keep drinking from my saucer,‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

-Author Unknown

Psalms 23:5

"You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You welcome me as a guest, anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings."

He's still workin' on me!

2010-02-19T12:42:00.004-05:00

Do you remember that childhood song?
"He's still workin' on me
To make me what I ought to be
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars
The sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
He's still workin' on me!"

This song has been the anthem of my heart lately. Some recent things that have happened in my life have made me realize that I am STILL a huge work in progress. I have many things that I need to work on to become a better wife, mother, friend, daughter and sister. Makes me realize that even when I think I've got it all put together, God shows me areas in my life that have neglected to give to HIM. I have struggled so long with personal insecurities and now it's spilling over into other areas of my life. I must find my confidence in God and God ALONE. Wow, thank God He is so patient and that He never gives up on us!!
He's still workin' on me!!

Motherhood in the Raw part ??

2010-02-03T11:19:00.002-05:00

There are a few new things to share about Judah and mothering a 1 year old...here goes...

1) I have a one year old. Okay, this is just weird to me. I can't even believe it's been over a year since we had a new addition. Seems like time has passed so quickly but also seems like Judah has always been a part of our family! So, new moms or future moms, what they say is true...time flies by, enjoy every minute. I look back now and realize I didn't savor his "tininess" as much as i should have! (I also need to post pics of his jungle themed party...it was so cute if I do say so myself)

2) Bye Bye Binky. We are now trying to get rid of the binky, pacy, whatever affectionate name you choose to call that rubber thing that goes in there mouth and keeps them quiet when you want them to. This has been a hard one, probably mostly for me. The pacifier has been a bit of a mute button for Judah, in other words, if he was crying or upset, the paci would automatically soothe him, or if he was babbling in church, the binky would keep him quiet a little longer than my shhh's would. We have gotten down to where he only uses it for sleeping or when he's very tired. I admit I cave probably more than I should. According to the Dr, the goal is to be rid of the binky by 18 months...we're on our way!

3) Growth charts. Why is it, we as mothers constantly measure our pride on our children's growth chart? At Judah's 12 month appointment he was 25% for height and weight. However he must have lots of brains cause his head was a whopping 90%! So my child will probably unfortunately be shorter than average, sorry Judah, you can blame me. I was actually surprised to see that he was underweight. This kid eats a ton!! Seriously more than me sometimes! He is VERY active so I guess he runs it off.
It seems that other mothers tend to ask what his or her percentages were at the last visit to see where their child is in comparison to yours. I'm guilty as well. I guess Judah will just be below average in height and weight, but look out world, cause that big head of his will be chop full of knowledge and crush your overweight kid! (lol)

4) Bye Bye $25 formula! Our doctor told us we could take Judah off of Formula at 11 months (which is a little early, but much welcomed!). You couldn't have told me better news. We were paying $25 every 4 days for a tub of formula. The next time I went to the grocery store and didn't have to purchase that expensive stuff, I seriously did a little hallelujah dance down the isle! Praise God, we now only spend $4 about every 4 days for Judah's Organic Whole milk!

5) Table for 4. I honestly wouldn't mind having another child if only we could afford it. Childcare is so expensive we can't afford to have two in full time care at the same time among the other expenses having a child incurs. It looks like we will have to wait another 3 years or so. I have really just enjoyed Judah lately. He's so lovey and sweet. Don't get me wrong he will throw a tantrum or two (yes already) and stress me out from time to time, but he is such a blessing.

Money, it doesn't grow on trees

2010-01-13T11:34:00.005-05:00

Starting this year, Justin and I have vowed to be the best stewards of our money as we can. We had always tried to do our best, but now we have decided, with much persuasion from a dear friend, to start clipping coupons.
Now, in the past, I always considered this a colossal waste of time and money. I would always buy something that i wouldn't necessarily use just because I had a coupon for it! Silly! Well, the website we have been learning about and using is http://www.southersavers.com/. This girl really does a great job of matching coupons to items that are already on sale and for several different grocery stores also! The one that seems to be the best for us is Publix. They have their BOGO (buy one, get one...you've got to learn the lingo too!) deals every week. She posts all the bogo's and then additional coupons that you use on both items, the free item and the one you're paying for. So, essentially, you could get items for free or for like .30 a piece!!
Publix is also awesome because they honor competitor coupons. I went shopping last night and used several Target coupons. I spent $50 at Publix and saved $40!! The girl that writes the "blog" puts links to print out other coupons from websites such as couponbug.com and others. Justin and I just created a "junk coupon" g-mail account so we could join such websites.
I'm excited to see how much I can save. Justin has even gotten into it! As a matter of fact, we sit together on Sunday nights and go through the (2) Sunday papers and website to see what we need and what the best deal is!! Yay! I encourage you to consider couponing this year. Give it a try. Even if you're not totally into it, if you do it here and there you'll realize your putting money in your pocket! It's worth it!

In Review

2010-01-04T08:58:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year everyone!! I decided I'd share my joys and sorrows of 2009 with the world. Overall, 2009 has been an exciting year FULL of firsts!

On January 8th, 2009, Judah Avery Johnson was welcomed into the world and our lives changed forever. We were so anxious to meet Judah and the roller coaster of emotions began for me. I was elated, nervous, scared, and happy. The overwhelming feeling of being a mother and the responsibility that hung over me was almost more than I could bare! Honestly, these feelings coupled with my hormones probably made it more that it really was, but I, never-the-less, was overwhelmed. Justin was so patient and seemed to calm me down by just being there.

The whole nursing thing was a bit much for me. I felt so secluded and strapped down. I was glad Judah was eating and getting the nutrition that breast milk had to offer, but again, it was overwhelmingly lonely to me. I would just cry when I fed him. I finally realized that I was in a bit of a depression. I would just cry and cry. I wasn't happy and felt like a failure as a mother. ALL of which were lies the devil was feeding me. I went to my Dr. and she suggested I go on some anti-depressant pills and see someone about my feelings. I took her prescription, but never filled it. I decided that God was more than enough to cure me. I didn't want to become so dependant on a drug for my happiness. I finally came through it, with MUCH prayer, when Judah was about 6 or 7 months old. I began to feel like myself and my baby weight (which was also a source of depression) began to come off as well.

Since that time, things have been great! Judah is flourishing, learning and becoming so independent, and strong-willed! (I wonder who he gets that from? lol) I am loving spending time with him now as he jabbers complete non-sense, claps for me when I sing to him, and dances anytime he hears music. He's walking everywhere and is looking quite grown up. He loves to eat and is a great sleeper. He's on quite a fabulous routine and is so active (all boy!). Although this "year in review" revolves around Judah, he's the biggest thing to happen to us this year. 2009 has revolved around him and I welcome the changes that will take place in him through the years.