Jump off the Bridge

Announcement

2009-11-12T16:09:00.002-05:00

Look it's me: ta-daaaaa!

*mini celebratory dance continues*

Take Action: Same Sex Marriage in NY

2009-11-10T10:20:00.004-05:00

Today in NYS, legislators are up in Albany voting on same sex marriage for New York, among other things. Empire State Pride Agenda has set up a cool form to help you identify your state senator, and whether or not that person supports same sex marriage. You also enter your phone number so that they can call you to connect you directly with the office of your state senator.* When you click on the "call now" button, they'll list some talking points for your call, call you at the phone number you provide and connect you. Easy as pie!

So if you live in NY or know somebody who lives in NY, please take action now.

*Please note that while you are required to enter your phone number to see who your state senator is, they do not call you unless you click the "call now" button on the second page. So no worries if you don't want them to call you.

Bookworm Meme Revisited

2009-11-04T11:00:00.000-05:00

Last July, I posted this list of 100 books and marked ones I've read, partially read, or plan on reading. Because I've been trying to read more lately, and I'm just such a bookworm, I decided I'd post it again to see how the list has changed since then. This time, with new editorializing!

1) Bold what you have read
2) Put in italics what you have started to read
3) Put an asterisk next to what you intend to read

**1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (Ok, so I've pretty much abandoned my 25 before 25 list, but I'm working on a 100 in 100 [weeks] list, so maybe I'll put it on that)
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (still have no desire to read this)
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (I want to re-read them SO BADLY but I must control myself until I've read all these other books I want to read)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (I had marked this as read, but my new rule is that if I have no recollection of the actual story, I'll demote it to partially read)
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
**9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
**10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa May Alcott (again, no recollection, I just know I read it)
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (I've decided I might give this another go)
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby- F. Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
**24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
**27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
**29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (this is on my list of classics to read as soon as I finish the Oz series)
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (I kind of remember the general storyline of each book, but I'll reread them soon)
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen (this has to be one of the most boring books ever, though the last few chapters were suddenly captivating, what's up with that?!)
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (I'm still unsure of why this is listed if Chronicles of Narnia is already listed...)
**37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell (I do need to re-read this asap though because my memory of it is slipping)
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert (I read it in high school but didn't like it, so I don't remember it AT ALL, but unlike the others, I will not be re-reading this)
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
**54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (I'm reading this now and should be done in a few days)
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
**60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold (I can't wait to see this movie!)
**65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (my memory of this is so gone, that I'm just marking it as need to read)
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
**72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
**75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (this is just SO CUTE!)
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (again, why is this listed individually?)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
**100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

So my total went from 20 to 16 read now that I've demoted the books I can't remember. But I've got 21 in italics and I'll actually be re-reading some of those at some point in the (hopefully) near future. I think the lesson we can learn from this is: finish what you start. I've been trying to finish unfinishable books lately (which is why it took me damn near four months to read Persuasion), and I'm often pleasantly surprised once I get to the end.

I don't get why some books are so popular though. So far I've been unimpressed by Jane Austen. Most sci-fi type classics are utterly boring to me -- though, 2001: A Space Odyssey is one I can totally get behind.

Ok, promise this won't become a book blog, just wanted to have some bookwormy fun. I actually have a couple of posts I'm working on for later this week, so look out for those. In the meantime, feel free to partake in the bookworm meme. =)

Election Day!

2009-11-03T11:00:00.004-05:00

Okay people (in the U.S.), it's Election Day! I'm hoping that you knew that already and this isn't brand new information. In any case, I hope you get out there and vote and so I'm posting my voting guide from last year:

A few reminders:
-Bring your ID just in case and your voter registration card if you have it.
-If you make it to the poll location before the polls close but are waiting in line, contact your board of elections if they try to turn you away. Laws vary by state, but make sure you cast your vote.
-Keep in mind the voting myths: wearing campaign gear (just cover it up), being arrested for outstanding warrants or tickets (simply not true), losing financial aid (many student voting rights are confusing). Don't let them take away your right to vote!
-Check your ballot (whether electronic, paper, or lever) before finishing, especially because problems with machines already started with early voting.
-If they challenge your eligibility for whatever reason, insist on filling out a provisional ballot.

Most importantly, keep this information handy to report any problems:
-Use the Election Protection hotline by calling 866-OUR-VOTE (or 1-888-Ve-Y-Vota for Spanish speakers).
-Contact your local board of elections, particularly for voter suppression or suspicious activity.

For those of you who can't vote (either because you're not citizens, didn't register on time, or are choosing not to), please considering volunteering your time today as poll workers, or by driving the elderly or disabled to the polls, or by reminding others to vote, etc. It's a great thing for anyone to do.

And for everyone who's volunteering, THANK YOU SO MUCH! You all rock!

You're So LAME!

2009-10-29T10:01:00.004-04:00

I've gotten tired of arguing with people about using the word lame, so here's my new approach:

Person: Oh ha ha blah blah, you're so lame!
Me: *blink and stare in confusion* No I'm not. I have no physical disability that I know of...

So far, people have just looked at me funny and then carried on. I haven't tried it enough to figure out its effectiveness, but it can't possibly be any less effective than I've been so far (which is, not at all effective). I think I might switch up my responses from time to time -- any ideas?

ETA: If you've no idea why this word is a problem, please read.

Reading is Fundamental

2009-10-26T09:55:00.000-04:00

When exhaustion, overworked-ness and sickness meets writer's block, it leads to silence on the blog. I'm only human! What can I do? Well... I can give you an update on what I've been reading lately. Here's a little recap of the books I've read in the last month or so:

The Shining by Stephen King -- I've wanted to read this book for years. It definitely did not disappoint. Have any of you read this? I found it much much creepier than the movie. I also think it's a bit sad that none of the daddy issues storyline is in the movie. Believe it or not, this is the first Stephen King novel I've ever read and now I want to read them all. Also, I can't wait to watch the movie again so I can compare.

All That Work and Still No Boys by Kathryn Ma -- I've got a full review of this coming soon, so for now I'll just say I really liked it.

Feminist Agendas and Democracy in Latin America by Jane S. Jaquette -- Also got a review of this coming soon. I liked it, but it did have some flaws.

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry -- Yes, I read a children's book. Whatever, I was sick and grumpy and wanted to read a cute story. Besides, if you're not a kid at heart, you need to check your priorities. That said, the book was awesome! It was so cute and made me laugh and a little teary-eyed at the end. (Although now that my period has arrived, I'm not sure how much of that was the story itself and how much was my PMS, but whatever...)

The Little Book: A Novel by Selden Edwards -- I have mixed feelings about this book. It was fun and a quick & easy read, but some parts were not that great and the repetitiveness did get to me. Has anybody read this book? I had never even heard of it before, but apparently it's a bestseller. It's actually got a lot of feminist undertones sprinkled throughout which completely surprised me. I think I might write a review after I figure out exactly what I liked and disliked about this book.

Julie & Julia by Julie Powell -- I'm still reading this actually, but it's really nice so far. It's not award-winning stuff or anything, but it's funny and I love Julie's writing style and my favorite is every time she says her bleaders (blog readers) need her because I chuckle every time. Our blog readers do need us! It's a life or death situation.

Persuasion by Jane Austen -- Folks who follow me on Twitter or Goodreads know that I was supposed to finish reading this book months ago, but I never did. I got bored reading it so I've been listening to an audiobook version instead and I'm almost halfway through. It's actually much more entertaining that way... of course, that's not saying too much because I'm still rather bored. But we'll see what happens!

I'm reading a couple more books, but haven't read enough of them to form an opinion one way or another. But perhaps I shall update you all in a few weeks.

What are you all reading? Any recommendations? I'm doing a seasonal reading challenge right now, so I'm trying to read lots before the end of the fall. Yes, I'm a nerd like that, and darn proud of it!

Guess Who

2009-10-18T12:01:00.003-04:00

Hi folks! I'm back!

I've been back for a few days actually, but I was sick as soon as I got back and I was still trying to adjust to being back home.

Much has happened while I was gone and disconnected from everything. I might have a few things to say about some of that, but for now I just wanted to see what you all have been reading and writing these past few weeks. Leave some links for me in the comments so I can be caught up to speed.

I also wanted to thank all of my guest bloggers who held down the fort while I was gone. Your posts were great and I thank you all so much for sharing your words here at JotB. Can't wait to have y'all back.

So with that, I must go take some more cold medicine and rest up. More soon!

We are accidents waiting

2009-10-10T09:00:00.002-04:00

Welcome back Noemi with another great piece. THANKS NOEMI!

while I’m thinking of non-existence, not suicide but simply not *being*, J is type typing away, writing a story. I go in later and he reads it to me. He says its based on our family, starring him and his sister, and me. He unfolds naturally into the story. We are moving into a new house, “they are sad to leave the old house where they had fun times” when he “sees the outline of a figure.” It’s a haunted house story. He needs more eraser tape stuff for his typewriter and I tell him to just skip a line. I hope that writing/reading is the sanctuary it was for me at his age.

before I rushed out to work this morning, Winter stops me with a folded up sheet of paper from a coloring book. I absentminded put it in my big black bag and J stops me before I’m out the door and says “its really pretty mom.” I stop and take it back out, open it-big yellow flowers and trees. I give her a big kiss & thank her.
*
I brace myself coming home. Smile smile smile.
*
I rush in, wiping eyes and tell them I’m gonna change my clothes and meet me in my room. We do our unwinding-what they did during the day, what they ate. How much it rained, the lights flickered. J unlocked 25 levels in the game (can’t keep track of the names.) Winter complains about my hair, let it grow mom, so I can make you braids and pig tails. I tell her when its rainy and humid it gets extra curly. J was all,ooh so thats what happened to your hair. I tickle him and wrestle w/him. He is so big at 9, but so young still.
*

its always hard to talk about depression because people get worried and think OH OH. And folks who feel the need to talk about their mental health issues who are in positions where someone has power over them (be it employers, court systems) either can’t express themselves or do so with things like: hey I’m okay, I just want to talk about this or Hey i’m in a good position right now so talking about x or x does not mean I’m not in a safe place right now.

Something I learned/did when I was being sexually abused at 8-9ish(memory folds upon itself) was not being in your body when something was going on, seeing yourself from the ceiling or an imaginary fence or sometimes not even seeing yourself/feeling in yourself. I felt this again when I was in a relationship with someone I (thought) i loved who was abusive. One minute calling you mamacita, the next minute punching you; one minute asking if you’ve taken your meds or to calm down, the next minute, knocking you down.

i have been using this numb/body mechanism at work lately. I can’t explain it. I want to say why do I give the power for a white woman/man to make me feel unworthy or not capable of so much more and I know why we (single mamis of color)do this–but we’ve heard that quote, no one has power over you, unless you give it to them. I think someone’s gonna come here with that utter bullshit and I’d have to say shut the fuck up. Because we gladly trade pieces of our selves/minds/ abilities for money/rent/paychecks.
And anyway our creative minds/dreams die and fade anyway and then there is pretty much nothing left to hold on to and you forget where you wanted to be because you are just holding on and that is enough.

These last few weeks I have been thinking of what it would be like to not exist. No, not suicide (see precursor I talked about before). Just not *being.* Because what is the use of being, there’s no pain really-that is like depression, there is just nothing there. Thinking of snapshots of years ago methods of anger and release.

*
I hate the feeling you get when you go braless and your nipples get hard against your shirt. I hate feeling that, that reminder of sexuality of self, that reminder of being a sexual being. If I could kill that one feeling.

*
and when there is nothing there, it’s hard to muster up happiness where there should be. Like being thankful for donations/grants/gifts to get to the amc & women’s media summit. And minigrants given for community work when I look for the source within/around & its not there.
and that person chipping chipping away at your self. Friends who don’t return your emails and I can’t even think to stop to wonder to read. Thankful for where I’m not right now.
*
how is it to live in a place that feeds your soul?
I dream about that sometimes.

(Originally posted here.)

The Feminist Lens: AVA by Carole Maso

2009-10-09T07:00:00.001-04:00

Ashley Lauren is back today. She is also in our online feminist book club, so I thought this post would be appropriate.

Learn to love the questions themselves.

The spaces between the thoughts. The interval (AVA 171)*

Every time I am asked who my female mentors are, (like the Twitterverse was yesterday by @ShelbyKnox) I always jump to women authors. Maybe this is because I hold a BA in English lit and am currently working toward my MA in English Studies. Maybe this is because I expect my mentors to influence me, change me, become a part of me, and these women and their writings have done just that. For whatever reason, the first role model I always think of is Carole Maso. Her book, AVA, changed my life when I read it. It engulfed me, heart and soul, and changed the way I thought about being a woman.

If you are a woman, feminist or not, or you want a window into the feminine mind, this book is a must-read. It is a true feminine text. Just as women try to wrestle with many things at one time, so does this novel. As soon as we open to the first page, we are completely taken into the mind of Ava Klein, a woman on her death bed. Maso leads the reader through the memories of Ava’s life, as well as the experience of her dying by presenting us with images (the written kind) that come up, add on each other, and become linked together as the book progresses.

These images are always followed by white space in the text, which gives the reader some room to put the pieces of the text together by figuring out which images are in reference to others. It also presents the reader with space to interact with the images themselves. It is imperative to interact with these images, but it is difficult to do so when the character is present in every image that emerges. Ava pervades the poem. When reading the words on the page, there is not a moment in which Ava is not present. In order to personalize and make this an interactive text, one must participate in the blank space – in between the lines – and participate in the reading by making connections within the poem as well as with personal experiences that may relate to or be triggered by the text.

This act of participatory reading gives readers the ability to delve deeper into the text as well as create a personal connection to the characters and images. In short, by the end of the text, if we have read it correctly, we are all intertwined with Ava Klein until we cannot tell which memories are hers and which are our own. In the final moments of the text – in the final moments of Ava’s life – if we have read with the correct strategy within the blank spaces, we are to be so wrapped up in her memories and our own memories that they begin to seep together, creating a sort of inseparable Avareader character. It is this interaction with the text that will give the poem power.

And it is a powerful text. If you begin reading, be warned: Ava (and AVA) will become a part of you, and you a part of her/it. And you will not be able to read it the same way twice. Ava is borderless and free to associate and mingle with other voices. The voices that Maso gives Ava include voices from other authors, philosophers, poets, and people in her life, but Maso also opens the forum to include the voice of the reader. She does not want Ava to be bounded and singular. If she wanted that for her character, she would have written a linear narrative with one clear story.Instead, Maso wants her character to live and breathe within the poem. She has given Ava, and the text, room to grow and change and combine with other things – internally and externally. In this way, Maso is asking us to read ourselves into Ava, to identify with her in ways that we did not think possible before encountering the text. In opening the book, we have accepted Maso’s invitation, and we must give ourselves over to the text and exist in the spaces between Ava’s memories.

*Full Citation: Maso, Carole. AVA. Normal, IL: Dalkey Archive Press, 1993.

(Originally posted here.)

PTSD

2009-10-06T10:00:00.000-04:00

Here's another post from abby jean about mental health. Can you tell I liked this series a whole lot?

eta: this post was previously titled PTSD 101, which incorrectly suggested that it was an authoritative or comprehensive discussion of the topic. it is not. it is a pile of information colored significantly by my own experiences and perspectives.thanks to those who raised this with me.

post traumatic stress disorder, or syndrome as its sometimes called, got a lot of attention in the U.S. during and following the vietnam war, when an estimated 30% of returning veterans experienced symptoms. PTSD is a reaction to significant psychological trauma, including war, physical or sexual assault, or physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. although associated with trauma, the majority of people who undergo trauma don’t develop PTSD, whose prevalence in the general (non-soldier) population is estimated around 8%, with women twice as likely to experience it than men. (whether this is because women experience more trauma or are more likely to react to trauma with PTSD is not clear.)

the diagnostic criteria for PTSD are expsure to a seriously traumatic event and “persistent re-experience” of that traumatic event through recurrent and intusive recollections, recurrent distressing dreams, flashbacks creating the feeling that the traumatic event is recurring, and/or distress at exposure to cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event. this then results in persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma, which can include dissociation or detachment from nearly all activities. like all mental health diagnoses, this must impair the person’s social, occupational, or other functioning.

so imagine something horribly awful had happened to you. for people i know who experience PTSD, it’s usually a rape or a sexual assault. in one case, it was an attempted murder by a roommate. for some of my immigrant clients, it’s the genocides in el salvador or cambodia, the systemic assassination of all of their friends and family members. or even something like a serious car accident.

PTSD makes it impossible to “move on” from the trauma because your brain makes it keep on happening, over and over again, every single day. you cannot move on because it won’t stop, you can’t stop re-experiencing it whether through flashbacks, dreams, or just thinking about it without cease. sometimes the recollections are associated with specific stimuli, but sometimes they just happen, out of nowhere, and your head is filled with the whole trauma all over again.

i experienced a significant (vague) trauma on july 4, 1993. i now loathe the holiday, because i spend all day thinking about it, and even have trouble with fireworks at baseball games or disneyland. i also have a bad reaction to a specific cologne and have left rooms or gotten off buses to avoid it. i also don’t care for people touching the back of my head and have reacted instantly and violently when someone put their hand there without warning. these have been the trickiest and most long-lasting triggers - i had tons and tons more that i’ve managed to better dissociate from the trauma with time and therapy.

the most frustrating part about PTSD is the inability to move on from and process the trauma itself, especially as those around a person with PTSD often criticize the person for not trying hard enough to move forward and instead dwelling on the problem. “you’ll never feel better if you think about it all the time.” WELL YEAH. and i would have loved to stop thinking about it. would have loved to think about any other thing in the whole goddamn world - except i couldn’t. but people lose patience and eventually start to blame the person for their inability stop thinking about it, to start processing it.

PTSD is a major issue now because of returning soldiers from iraq and afghanistan. prevalence rates are impossible to even guess at with all the politics involved in detecting or diagnosing PTSD in the military, but it’s got to be pretty high. especially combined with the hypervigaliance necessary to stay alive over there, it’s a nasty problem for returning veterans. i’ve heard stories of soldiers driving on the freeway getting stuck in traffic, being unable to overcome the feeling it was an ambush, and getting out and abandoning their cars to run away. because the psychological toll of military service can be so significant, i’m hoping we see more national attention focused on PTSD issues in the near future.

(Originally posted here.)

depression

2009-10-05T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today's post comes from abby jean who blogs at think on this. She recently wrote a series on her experiences with, and knowledge of mental health.

eta: this post was previously titled depression 101, which incorrectly suggested that it was an authoritative or comprehensive discussion of the topic. it is not. it is a pile of information colored significantly by my own experiences and perspectives.thanks to those who raised this with me.

depression is what i have the most experience with - with myself, my friends, my family, my clients. prevalence numbers for depression (and any mental health condition) are notoriously difficult, as lots of people are never diagnosed or treated so aren’t captured by statistics. but the feds currently estimate (pdf) around 8% of adults have had an incident of major depression in the past year, with higher rates of incidence and lower rates of treatment among low-income folks and immigrants.

depression is commonly used to mean a sad mood and is often used in common parlance. “the media coverage of the town halls is totally depressing.” “i’m so depressed about that huge stain on my favorite shirt.” but the clinical definition of depression, from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 4th edition (i’m putting aside issues with the DSM for another time) is very specific:

Five or more of the following symptoms present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning - one of the first two symptoms required to be present:

depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (ie feel sad or empty) or observations from others (ie appears tearful)
markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day
significant weight loss or gain (change of over 5%) without dieting, or decrease in appetitie nearly every day
insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day
psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day, observable by others
fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt nearly every day
diminished ability to think or concentrate, nearly every day
recurrent thought of death, recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or specific plan for suicide.

these symptoms must cause significant impairment in social, occupational, or other areas of functioning. (in other words, if you’re still fine at work, maintaining your social relationships, etc, you’re not clinically depressed even if you have these symptoms.) the symptoms must also not be associated with an objectively destabilizing event, such as loss of a loved one.

quick neurochemistry refresher: the brain works by passing signals between neurons. one neuron releases neurochemicals which then activate another neuron to act. the neurochemical serotonin is understood to be affected by depression, and it controls the feeling of “satiation,” of having had enough, which is why eating and sleeping are affected by depression.

when i experienced major depression, i had a whole bunch of those symptoms. more than sad, i felt “flat affect” — like i was wrapped in cotton wool or a thick layer of fog and nothing could penetrate that to affect me. so i didn’t feel especially happy or sad, i felt like i was incapable of feeling anything at all. i also lost interest in doing anything at all except lying in my bed. this included going to class, talking to people, taking a shower, and eating. my friends would try to get me out and about, but nothing sounded even vaguely interesting - since i would feel flat and empty whatever i did, i might as well just stay in bed.

i also felt completely hopeless that things would ever change and didn’t just believe, i knew that i would continue to feel that way forever. so what was the point of doing anything? no need to make sure i wasn’t failing a class, because who cared if i graduated or not? wouldn’t make any difference. nothing would ever make any difference.

so, i might as well die. no sense in prolonging my useless pointless life of doing nothing and feeling nothing - i was burdening my friends, annoying my roommate, letting down my parents, disappointing my professors. and since things would never, ever, get any better, it’d be best to just let everyone off the hook and get out of their way. nobody would miss me because who cares about a smelly lump girl who just stays in bed?

somewhere deep inside i could still hear a part of me that was a bit freaked out by the thought of dying. i got a card from my mom and pictured her face when being told i had killed myself and realized she probably wouldn’t be happy to be rid of me. but these voices were so small and so soft and i could barely hear them through the chorus of “you’re stupid and a waste and a burden and will be forever” that pounded through my head every second of the day.

the practical effects: i could not carry out tasks that were painfully simple. i remember a day i skipped all my classes because the idea of opening my closet and trying to figure out what to wear was too overwhelming. i got derailed very easily and had a hard time following through if there was even the slightest barrier. (i made myself walk over to student health to try to see a counselor, the woman wasn’t at the desk, i gave up and went home and it took two or three weeks before i could try again.) by far the easiest option for taking care of anything that came up was just to kill myself so i wouldn’t be bothered by anything.

clearly, i didn’t do that, although i have made a number of serious attempts. i have had friends so unable to find any relief that they tried and tried until they were successful in dying. my treatment (medication combined with literally thousands of hours of therapy) has been successful to the point where i have hope for the future and think life is worth living. but i can feel the fog come back sometimes and if it comes back strong, i know that overwhelming agony will shut out all hope and optimism and i’ll be right back where i was.

the knowledge that that possibility is always there is terrifying - i could be knocked down by a recurrence at any moment. i’m always vigilant - is this negative mood because of a reasonable reaction to an event? is it free floating? how serious is it? is this the time it will overtake me for good?

(Originally posted here.)

Earth moves slowly beneath us as we wait

2009-10-03T09:00:00.000-04:00

Today's post is a piece written by Noemi, who you can find over at Hermana, Resist. Thanks so much for letting me post this.

waiting at clinic.
man snoring softly
next to me.
pay $35 upfront.
Can you make a payment
on your balance?

Sit, wait.
Man snores.
Check email on phone.
Check email on phone.
Read Terabithia
Read Norma Cantu.
Sit, wait.
Check email on phone.
Return email to Lina,
Re: location of panteon.
Sit, wait, clouds form.
Looks like rain.

Read Emmy’s poems.
Envious, lovely forms.
Man snores.
Check email on phone.

Quiet coughing spell
with cough drops
gifted by my mom
before she left us,
left the valley for
colder seasons.
Snow, trees.

Consider leaving.
Have already paid
$25 upfront.
Entered a payment plan
for enormous balance
of allergy tests
insurance didn’t cover.
Who knew?
Sit, Wait.

“¿Tiene cita?”
“¿Que doctor quiere ver?”
¿Tiene seguro?

Additional parking
in rear.
laugh at joke.

2 t.v.’s on.
one is english soap opera
with volume turned down.
other is spanish
morning today style show
turned up
we are glued.

Wait.
Man is called.
Lunch hour is over.
Doctors return.
Think twice
about being here.
I’ve already paid.

Finish chapbook.
Check email on phone.
Check email on phone.
Text sister,
babysit on Friday?

Will tell Dr.
of insurance change.
So MRI’s and cat scans
and sleep studies a go.
at affordable prices
with payment plans.

hope she doesn’t
get mad
i haven’t done
them yet.

wait,sit,wait.
Man with cane shuffles in.
A Señora with another Señora
walk in.
“aqui traigo a mi comadre
Ya no ve”

Check email on phone.
think of music.
think of poems.
think of poems
in text form.
think of devils
and twenty dollar bills.

Check email on phone.
Sip water,
parched painful.
they call my name.
nurse says
“dr says she knows
whats wrong with you
again.”
so predictable, I am.
yes, on throat, yes
on sinuses.
Nurse hands me
allergy results,
he says
no more mangoes
no more bananas
he says
start eating meat again.
he doesn’t know
my heart is
allergic to eating blood
(yes, trauma dramatic
induced by 100.1 fever)
dr. meki walks in
touches my knee
sorry to be late.

i tell her of exams
she says its pap smear
time, save myself–
i’m bleeding.
RX for throat, nose, head.
I Think she likes me
maybe one day
I’ll tell her everything

(Originally posted here.)

This is what an activist looks like

2009-09-30T03:00:00.000-04:00

Chally is back today. Doesn't she rock? And not just cuz her name rhymes with Sally.

I’m disappointed when I hear activists prescribing what other activists ought to do. I’m surprised it doesn’t all come from rich, white, etc, etc, men, and here’s why.

Traditional forms of activism are often not possible or difficult for a given individual. Is a single mother going to go to a rally for paid maternity leave when she can’t find someone to look after her kids? Is someone with chronic pain and/or fatigue going to take kindly to being told they ought to attend a protest? Is it reasonable to expect that everyone has the time, energy, resources and know-how to do research or a survey? Is someone struggling to get by going to have the money to pay to get into your event? Is your crowded, loud meeting held in a room up a flight of steps going to be accessible to everyone?

You see, if you’re claiming to be progressive, but your organising unthinkingly excludes chunks of vulnerable and oppressed people? You are not a progressive. And if you are nevertheless insisting that some other form of activism is not a proper one? You are a douche. If you’re low on resources, and really trying to include folks, that’s one thing. But if you think you have the one true way to save the world, that is quite another.

What I am suggesting is that there are a lot of forms of activism in the world, and looking down one’s nose at some of them is detrimental as well as being offensive to those of us working hard to make valuable contributions in any way we can. It goes beyond ‘well, everyone should do what they can’. It’s not even a case of ‘if you can only contribute a little, that’s fine’. It’s not even just about the privileging of particular modes of contribution. It’s this: I do not know where anyone gets off saying that what another person does to heal the world is less than proper.

Now, I sign petitions and write letters all that sort of thing. I buy badges and do bakesales, too. Right now I’m volunteering with the local government on a DVD aimed at crime prevention. (These forms of activism have various levels of “proper activism” quotient attached to them. Discussion questions: How much do they tie in with what you do? How traditional do they seem to you?) I do traditional activism – sometimes. I am disabled, and it is not always physically possible to do so. Here is a short list of some forms of activism in which I engage that traditional thinking doesn’t call activism:

I call out people when they use “ism”-based language.
I attempt to be an ethical consumer (and frequently fail, but I’m getting better! And it’s a feature of economic privilege that this form of activism is even possible for me).
I try to centre marginal people/experiences/voices in any given situation.
I engage with the world, and learn as much as I can about what I can do to make it better.
I look into myself and work at unravelling oppressive ideas I have taken on as my own.
I assist those around me with their activism where I can and should.

We should be rethinking traditional methods of activism, because progress means rethinking the traditional to make sure we have the very best for ourselves and the world. Even where we’ve assured ourselves we’re progressive. We need to keep thinking, keep examining, not only the world but ourselves.

Because it’s not just pressuring governments that’s important, as important as it is. Central to my activism is what I do right here, right now, in my life and my communities. When it comes down to it, progress is not only in the big sweeping changes. It’s in our souls. It’s in relating to each other with kindness.

I just don’t get it when people say that blogging isn’t real activism, because it is a big deal to this activist. I’ve reached and been reached by so many people, sharing lives that would never otherwise touch! Because the Internet is not composed of individuals shouting into the void. The Internet is composed of people, and we use it to direct attention to issues and petitions and all sorts. And we take what we learn with us to the offline world. Even if this wasn’t so, there is important work to do inside our minds. We have to tease out the oppression we’ve stored in ourselves. We have to understand and learn. Blogs have given me tools to put language and frames to my experience. For instance, amandaw’s work at Three Rivers Fog and Lauredhel’s at Hoyden About Town gave me what I needed to talk about my experiences as a disabled woman. You know. Writing isn’t useless. Writing is a good part of humanity’s process and progress, how we connect, how we relate to ourselves. Whether you’re writer or reader – and how often those roles intertwine in a sphere such as blogging! – writing is not just valid, but vital.

(Originally posted here.)

This is a foreign concept to me.

2009-09-28T15:00:00.000-04:00

Today's guest post comes from Caddy C who blogs at A Feminist Otaku. Thanks C!

This is a foreign concept to me. Or: A stranger's kind words collide with my self-perception.

I was never “the skinny child.” And in a culture obsessed with binary opposites, this meant that I was the fat one. Even if it wasn't necessarily true, it became true by virtue of comparison.

I love my sister and I see in her many positive qualities of which I wish I was similarly endowed. She is incredibly smart, and ambitious enough to follow her dreams in a harsh world. Also, she was “the skinny one.”

As a child, B had a voracious appetite but couldn't seem to gain weight. She ate more than I did, but had to be put on a special diet by our pediatrician. I have never had this problem. As a child, I had a normal appetite and a normal body weight. One might say that I am “big-boned” (Cartman jokes aside), or that I'm built solidly. I was not fat.

Yet, by virtue of comparison to my underweight sister, I became conscious of size. As a child, I had never bothered to wonder why she and I were different. Weren't all siblings different shapes and sizes? But despite my initial casual attitude, as I grew older I began to receive the message that I was fat.

My childhood friend told me that her mother said I was, “a little on the heavy side.” Curious, I asked my mother about it, and she became flustered. Lacking a straight answer, I asked my friend how she stayed slender. She didn't really know, but advised me to “cut all the fat off of meat when I ate it.” I made sure to trim my meat extra carefully from then on, though our family never ate much meat to begin with.

B gained enough weight by the time she got into Elementary School that she no longer needed a special diet. Along with our two closest friends, B and I enrolled in ballet class. I enjoyed it immensely, though even at about 10 years old I had a feeling that I was not naturally graceful. But it was fun! Spending time with my sister and friends, dancing to music … I thought ballet was great. I told my mother that I may try to dance professionally one day, since I thought it was so fun. She told me that I “didn't have the body to dance professionally.” I wasn't built like B, who “had the body of a dancer.”

I remember the disappointment that I felt hearing these words, like I had somehow failed to do something before ever even trying. B went on to dance for several years after I stopped, and she really shone on the dance floor. I soon discovered that I loved soccer, and then archery and karate. My mother's words faded into the back of my brain, but never disappeared completely.

As a teenager, I had the usual growth spurts. I confided in my mom once that I had really been craving milk lately. She said that my body was growing and as such, needed plenty of the vitamins found in milk. Makes sense, right? I thought so. Then I told her that I may need to get bigger pants, because the ones I had were a little tight. (I wore a size 7, at about age 16.) She promised to take me to the mall over the weekend, but warned that I definitely shouldn't let my pants get beyond a size 9 or maybe 11. Or ... ?

Fast-forward past my issues with teenage depression and suicide to college, and my issues of early-twenties and weight gain. Everyone's heard of the “Freshman 15,” right? Well I gained 15 the first year, then 20 the next year... and by the end of my undergrad years I was overweight. Without the constant chiding of my parents and out of the spotlight of comparison to my skinny sister, I ate whatever the hell I wanted. And it showed.

Finally, it took terribly unflattering photos of me in a bridesmaid dress to get me to realize that I had to take control of my weight. And I did.

The last three years have been a constant struggle, but I've lost about 90 pounds. (At my heaviest, I weighed 235 pounds – and I'm 5'6.) It's been one of the hardest things I've ever done, and every minute has been worth it. I've discovered a love of running, which is something I never in a million years ever thought I'd be good at. This year I challenged myself to run a 10K race, and I did. (I took about an hour – that's a 10minute mile, not bad!)

But when I look in the mirror, what do I see? I see a fat girl. Even though I'm no longer terribly overweight and my BMI is in the normal range, I see myself through a fat girl's eyes. I see myself as my mother saw me. I see myself as American culture sees me – as a fat girl.

The other day I went to the grocery store to buy ingredients for dinner. I had worked a ten hour shift and was carrying around a basket that was so full it was straining the plastic handles, and I feared they would break. I was exhausted.

Just as I neared the end of my grocery ordeal, I reached the yogurt aisle to pick up my last item. Fat-free plain yogurt. There was an older lady standing in the aisle, gazing at the varieties of individual-sized yogurts. She seemed either absorbed by the array of possibilities or completely lost.

She spoke to me, out of the blue. I didn't have the heart to ignore her or brush her off. She told me that her grandson was just back from Iraq, and that he really liked this one particular type of chocolate milk that he couldn't get over there. She told me which flavors of yogurt he liked, and which ones she liked. I shared which ones I liked, and reached for my tub of the plain stuff.

I told her that I liked to eat the plain yogurt with granola or fruit, and that it made a healthy snack. She seemed in awe of my simple suggestion, and I couldn't help but smile. I told her that tonight I was using it as a substitute for sour cream on my baked potato. Then she said something that completely floored me.

She said, “Well, of course, you must eat healthy all the time in order to stay so beautiful and slender.”

Slender? Me?

I mumbled something like thanks, smiled, and left.

I have never thought of myself as slender. Not once in my life. But this lady at the grocery store did. And you know what? That's good enough for me. At least for that one day, a random stranger telling me she thought I was beautiful was enough for me to feel like maybe, just maybe, I was.

I may never be “the skinny one,” but you know what? I'm starting to be ok with that.

"I Love You. But I Love Me More."

2009-09-27T09:00:00.000-04:00

Today's guest post comes from Amanda, aka The Undomestic Goddess. Thanks Amanda!

SATC-philes know these words as Samantha’s mantra when she left her cheating boyfriend, Richard. It was my mantra in college that convinced me to leave an otherwise hurtful relationship. And they were words that I playfully uttered to my boyfriend just the other day, letting him know that it wasn’t a selfish thing – it just meant that I would have no problem leaving him if he ever decided to pull a complete 180 and hit me. It’s a phrase that every woman should carry with her, and here’s why:

It was revealed that a prominent New York blogger “threw” his girlfriend around in their apartment during an argument. According to a source, “Her wrist was sprained and she had multiple bruises and scratches.” Friends moved her out of their apartment while he was at work and have been supporting her during this tough time. He was arrested and released, but for now it’s uncertain what punishment, if any, he’ll serve, other than the backlash of a few severe blog posts up today.

This woman was extremely lucky to have such supportive friends who didn’t allow for second chances and got her the hell out of her abusive situation. While I’m by no means on the inside, it certainly seems as though she, too, had no qualms about leaving. All too often women who suffer abuse do not muster up the courage to leave, or have an adequate support system to do so. There is still too much stigma and victim-blaming going on that women in these situations simply can’t afford. And knowing that they are worthy of more, loving themselves first and foremost, is the first step.

So please, love and trust the men in your life. But always, ALWAYS, love yourself just a little more.

In which homework is assigned

2009-09-26T03:00:00.002-04:00

Today's guest post is from Chally who blogs at Zero at the Bone. I heart her =)

I’m going to talk about accessibility. I want you to have a think. Then I want you to pause, reflect and keep thinking.

Before I start, think about what disability access means to you. What sort of things does accessibility require? Make a note of what comes to your head.

While you’re working on that, I’m going to tell you what I often do when I arrive somewhere new. I scan my surroundings to determine how accessible the particular space is. Is the furniture too high or too low or too small? Is there enough space for a wheelchair/scooter to pass through comfortably (with space left over for a companion)? Are there windows? Is there any mold? fresh paint? air freshener? Is there enough space to breathe or get away from other people? Is the lift/ramp in good order and close by? Are there railings? Are there (solid, multiple) chairs? Are there any sharp edges or prominent features that could make movement unsafe? These are just a few of the things that may go through my mind. And I do it all as quickly and discreetly as I can, because I don’t want to stand out to any abled folk who may be observing me. And you know what? Most of these things, most of the time, aren’t relevant to my disability. I’m looking out for my fellow PWD. Which is to say that these things are not that hard to pick up.

Now, when you were thinking about disability access, you probably thought of transcripts and ramps and disabled bathrooms. And those things are important. But did you think about invisible access for invisible disabilities? Where well-known accessibility measures like those transcripts, ramps and bathrooms are often not available (or not properly) the measures that don’t immediately spring to an abled person’s mind don’t have a hope in hell.* And, speaking as someone with an invisible chronic illness, having to out myself in order to perhaps be granted access, with the very real possibility of not being believed, is one of the most unpleasant parts of my life.** I doubt you thought about access to services for people who aren’t accessing them in person. I doubt you’ve ever thought about how to give directions without visual reference. In fact, I bet most of the things you thought of were those that were in your face.

Which brings me to my next point. Accessibility is not just about alternatives and gadgets and adaptations. It’s about you.*** It’s about all the abled people who are in charge of accessibility measures. And that’s not just those of you in a position of authority, that’s you making your way down the street. Remember, you often don’t know who is and who isn’t a PWD, and you don’t know the kind of impact you’re having on them. The world is designed to suit the abled, and it’s every last one of you impacting us. It’s about your attitudes making our lives harder. (Did you ever consider how awful it is to have a loud, public discussion of one’s needs? Did you ever consider that forcing your idea of help on us might be detrimental? Did you consider the kind of devastation you privileging your perceptions over our experiences can lead to?****) It’s about whether you decide our enjoyment, our livelihoods, our life experiences and our humanity are worth your attention.

I am asking for your attention.

Now, I want you to think radically. Accessibility should not be framed as making adaptations to suit those others, those deviant disabled bodies and minds. If there is a space, text, service, mechanism, happening, situation, tradition, something that people are going to engage with, everyone needs to be accommodated.***** My point being. Don’t think of us as others, even deserving others, you must reach out to and adapt to. We’re not brave, broken little souls. We’re human beings. Think of every single person having different needs and circumstances, and centring those people who are having a tougher time of it. Think of providing everyone with what they need. If someone needs more than most, they ought to be given it. Not because they are other, but because they are a person. We’re no more other, or tiresome, or disgusting than you with your various troubles, quirks and loves. The only difference between you and me is that the world has dictated that I am low and you are whole. That’s all.

Think of privileging those bodies and minds that are marginalised in so many spaces. If you think that it’s too daunting, too much, consider what it means for PWD and consider that you’d be happy to do it if it was you. You adapt to circumstances all the time, and you may want to examine your motivations if you’re reluctant to accommodate PWD. Do whatever you can do with the resources you have. Access for my kind of people should not be an afterthought, it should be right there, in your plan, in your consciousness, because it is at the very least as vital as the kind of attention you give everybody else.

I want you to rethink access. Mostly, I want you to THINK.

I have some related links for you to help you with the thinking:
Alena of Perspectives from a Blind Point of View – fabulous blog, by the way – asks What Does Accessibility Mean to Me?
You may have heard of feminist science fiction convention Wiscon. I haven’t attended myself, but they seem pretty accessible from their website. This is an example of doing it right.
WildlyParenthetical delves into invisible disabilities and how they get that way.
I picked up the phrase ‘invisible access for invisible disabilities’ from Lauredhel. She has some suggestions on the subject here.
If you want to learn more about what kind of thing can constitute privileging your perceptions over our lived experience, specific to invisible illness, see annaham’s Invisible Illness Bingo and Invisible Illness Bingo 2: Back for Revenge.
See Jo Tamar’s Accessibility, choice, accomodation and equality. Because alternatives aren’t always good enough, and they’re frequently a tool for demeaning us further.
Cripchick and commenters have lots of suggestions.
Also, this.

Remember that all this, this post, these links, are background. There is no prescriptive means of dealing with PWD; we are not a monolith. Consider the person you’re dealing with as an individual with individual needs. I can barely believe I actually had to type that.

—

*Actually, hell’s probably more accessible than some of the places I’ve been to.

**And you would just laugh at how utterly bizarre that is if you knew the nature of my illness.

*** For me personally, it’s mostly about you. Other people have a different ratio with regard to these things.

**** ‘You look much better today.’ ‘Maybe you should try losing weight.’ ‘Maybe you’re just tired.’ ‘Are you sure that’s what happened?’ ‘My cousin’s boss’ sister’s friend’s tried this thing you should try.’ Just don’t. How dare you presume that we don’t know how to handle ourselves? If we want help, we will most likely ask. These suggestions act to obscure problems, meaning that we’re not given the help we want/need because everyone else has moved on, ’cause you’ve already solved it, right? You do not know better than us.

***** Were you thinking in terms of access to buildings? Open your mind. Think about daily experience.

Note: The possible disclaimer applies to this post.

(Originally posted here.)

Literacy in the Feminist Blogging Community: Ashley Lauren

2009-09-25T07:00:00.000-04:00

Today's guest post comes from Ashley Lauren. THANKS ASHLEY!

The Project Abstract
For quite some time, feminists have used the power and ease of distribution of the written word to spread their ideas to a wider audience. According to several feminist writers, including Jacqueline Rhodes, they wrote radical texts in the form of manifestos, guides, statements of purpose, and other political texts that were often linked together – or referential to each other in some way – and were distributed quickly and publicly and often disappeared as rapidly as they appeared. It is no surprise, then, that social media, blogging in particular, is becoming the new face of activism, especially for feminists, giving them a venue to express their ideas, create awareness, and call followers to action. I propose that feminist bloggers exist in a community very much like the radical feminists in the late 1960s and early 1970s and create “temporary texts” using the modern technology of blogging. To explore this community, I conducted interviews with several feminist bloggers about their literacy practices within the community and analyzed them using Szwed’s five elements of literacy – text, context, function, participants, and motivation. I believe that the understanding of the feminist blogging community and how bloggers view their own literacy practices shows how women are harnessing blogging as a form of activism.

Now the tables have turned, and I'm answering my own questions as a guest post for the lovely Frau Sally Benz (you can see her answers to these questions here). I've always wanted to answer these questions myself, so thanks for the opportunity!

Bio
Name: Ashley Lauren
Age: 25
Occupation: High School English Teacher, grad student, blogger
Race: Caucasian
Blog: http://smallstrokesbigoaks.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/samsanator

1. Define the online feminist blogging community.
Interestingly, I began this literacy project because the only feminist community I had ever encountered was online. That isn't to say that I had never encountered feminists singularly, but they had never been as organized and bound together as they seemed to be through Twitter and their blogs. Because the community of feminists online is solely based on literacy (reading, writing, comprehension) practices, I myself defined the online feminist blogging community as women who read, write, discuss, and share information about feminism online.

Since this project began, I have seen the onset of several, smaller, more defined communities from book clubs to women who help and work with technology. These groups can really only help the feminist online community become stronger by opening up all sorts of different dialogues.

2. Tell me about how you came to be a blogger.
I started blogging in college as just a way to organize my thoughts and present them to the world. More recently - about a year ago, actually - I deleted my Facebook account and started a personal blog as a way to update my friends and family on my life. It wasn't until I joined Twitter on a whim and saw the community of feminists there that I became interested in the feminist movement and began writing papers about feminism in graduate school. It was then that I started my feminist-leaning blog and that has been growing ever since.

3. Tell me about your blogging experience now.
As I stated above, now I blog mostly about feminist issues, or about life issues through a feminist lens. I changed from a more personal blog because I desperately wanted my blogging to have a purpose, and the more research I did on early feminists, the more I found about their writing and networking. Now, I feel that I do have a purpose: to raise awareness about injustices and open important discussions about feminism. Just making someone aware of the issues and ways people can help fix them really does make a difference in the world.

4. Tell me about a time you were misread or misunderstood on your blog.
I don't think I've ever been misunderstood on my blog, but I have dealt with a particular tweeting anti-feminist. I don't think that was a case of misunderstanding so much as a case of misogyny, though. I have had a few comments, though, that have prompted me to write a follow-up post or reply in order to clarify a point. This all relates back to literacy - I may write something one way and comprehend it, but when someone else reads it, they are not comprehending it the same way I do. This can result in a lack of understanding. However, the beauty of a blog post is that it is a living, breathing, changeable document. If there is a misunderstanding, we can interact with the text by leaving comments or by changing the post itself.

5. Describe your process of writing online.
As a teacher, I don't work at a computer, so I cannot post anything during the day. Most often, I think of ideas for blog posts and jot them down on a piece of paper so I don't forget by the time I get home. As soon as I get home from school, I make myself some food - I can't write anything without food - and start writing the post that's been in my head all day. Then, I usually schedule it to post at around 9:00 AM the next day, so as to reach the most readers.

6. Describe your online reading habits.
I'm a bad online reader, to be perfectly honest. I don't have much time, and I'm subscribed to about 50 blogs and news outlets that update about 5 times a day on average, so I usually open reader in the headline-only view and if the post was written by someone I know or if it interests me, I'll read the whole thing (or star it for later reading if I want to leave a comment or something like that). If I really like it, I'll put it in my Shared Items on Google Reader, which also feeds to my Facebook and my Twitter. I do make sure I read all of the posts from my feminist friends (and my other friends, too), but when my news feeds update about 30 times a day, it can be hard to keep up on what's going on in the world!

Hello, Goodbye

2009-09-23T15:00:00.001-04:00

So I realize I haven't had a post in a while -- sorry about that folks! I'm dealing with life and my upcoming travels, and I just haven't had time to write about all the things that I've been thinking. I will have even less time after tomorrow, though, when I leave behind NYC for a different continent.

BUT!

Never fear, dear readers, for I have some great posts lined up for you, including several guest posts from people I admire. They've all got some interesting things to say and I hope you will read their work and engage with them as you would on any other post here at JotB.

I'll have limited internet access while abroad, but I'll try my hardest to pop in every so often. And the good news is, I'll have lots to share when I get back!

Take care of yourselves while I'm gone & be sure to read the guest posts -- they're awesome. =)

Friday Funnies: Blingitude

2009-09-18T11:11:00.002-04:00

LMAO

That's all I have to say because I'm currently cleaning up the hot chocolate I spilled on my desk...

P.S. - WTF is "a.e.a.e."

(Click here if you can't see the video.)

Carnival o' Feminists - Numero Cuatro

2009-09-16T11:30:00.001-04:00

For those of you not yet aware (you might have been on vaca or under a rock or something), the Carnival of Feminists was recently started up again by the ladies over at Female Impersonator. I jumped at the chance to take on hosting duties again (I hosted another carnival almost a year ago). So without further ado, the carnival:

Pass Go. Collect $200. -- My favorite posts out of all the submissions. (In other words, if you read nothing else, read these.)

Chally calls out those who unfairly place a high value on gender representation of trans folks.

Luz considers the role self-awareness plays in the lives of survivors of abuse and assault and in their relationships.

Cara critiques the notion that individual choice is the answer to ongoing problems in society.

Live & Learn -- Science and education come to the rescue. Or not...

Boganette found a survey blaming women for divorce. Or rather, women's periods. For serious.

Speaking of surveys and science, factcheckme has discovered that there are people having sex in MRI machines for science. I'm sure that's as uncomfortable as it sounds.

In more refreshing news, Ashley Lauren has started a series about teaching feminism in schools. Now there's something I can get behind.

Others have contributed to her series, including L, who tackled group work, gender segregation, power structure in education, etc. Get schooled, y'all.

For Review -- Proof that feminists read and watch tv & movies, just like everyone else. Then we over-analyze them.

Natalia takes a fresh look at a feminist classic, The Women's Room. Is it any surprise that she finds it's still relevant today?

Laura examines the feminist cred in the show Dollhouse, countering arguments about it being anti-feminist.

Alicia reviews The Mosque in Morgantown and considers how her reaction differed from her expectation.

Skye watched the 80s film Red Sonja and finds herself surprised at its anti-feminist content.

What Else Is New? -- Things that should be common sense/knowledge by now, but sadly aren't.

Boganette reminds us that in this sad world we live in, the victim is always to blame.

Amanda, the Undomestic Goddess, gives the perfect example of why shitty stereotypes remain shitty stereotypes no matter who's reporting them.

Dr. Kathleen Young looks at the cycle of domestic violence and what it means to break out of that.

Becky finds that the exploitation of women sells, but it's not just for products anymore! Exploitation sells activism too.

New News -- Things that might not be news to others, but I never heard of before.

You know what else sells? Vibrators, apparently. Linda looks at vibrating products for women.

Apparently there's a book out about public toilets and gender. Confused? Mandy's got an interview with the editors.

factcheckme shows us how sexploitation reaches new lows every day -- enter the Holocaust, with bikinis. I wish I was kidding...

Potpourri for 300 -- Because there are always things that don't fit anywhere else & I like Jeopardy.

Mandy has an interesting interview with the author of a book about being childless by choice.

Martina shares her struggle with her body image, and how she's confronting it head-on (and pants off).

Mad Kane has a limerick about the reaction to Obama's school speech.

Pieces of String considers what it means to be a man and a feminist ally. (In short, if you want a cookie, go to a bakery.)

Elisha looks back at her experience waiting tables to teach us etiquette for dining out. (Ok, this isn't exactly feminist, but I included it because sometimes we need a reminder to be decent human beings.)

And for funsies, we'll end the carnival with something light (b/c feminists need to lighten up, after all): Jenny posted a feminist zombie comic that made me lol. =)

That's it for this installment of the Carnival of Feminists! Thanks to everyone who contributed their favorite feminist links. The next carnival is September 30 -- start submitting your posts!

If you'd like to host, contact Lindsay or Amelia at (firstname).impersonator [at] gmail.com

Reminder: Carnival o' Feminist Submissions

2009-09-12T02:03:00.000-04:00

Don't forget to submit your favorite posts to the Carnival of Feminists! You can submit your own posts, or posts others have written. I don't have a theme or anything, just whatever you think might fall under something of feminist interest.

To submit a post, you can either email me directly or submit the post here. You have until September 15th to submit a post for the next carnival, which will be hosted right here at JotB on September 16th.

I've gotten some great submissions so far, so keep them coming! Can't wait to get them all out to you.

When I Saw Her Standing There Something made me want to Twist and Shout

2009-09-09T09:09:00.000-04:00

This post comes from Danny, who has the song title link posts I love and try to emulate. I heart him for this one!

Hey folks this is Danny coming out from my Corner of the Universe. The Beatles: Rock Band releases today and I understand that Sally here is a fan of The Beatles and of Rock Band so I'm hooking her up with a special song title link post (as the title shows a song title link post is a post in the which the title are 3-4 songs put together into a sentence and then I embed videos of those songs into the post) based on Beatles tracks that will be in the game.

"I Saw Her Standing There"

"Something"

"Twist and Shout"

I hope you all enjoy!

Join the Bookworm Fun

2009-09-08T09:44:00.002-04:00

As I announced a couple of weeks ago, our online feminist book club has launched. Radical Readers & Feminisms for Dummies will be our way to read books of feminist interest and discuss them together even though we're all miles apart. Since the launch, those who signed up by taking the survey I created have been introducing themselves and adding their book suggestions. Now I'm inviting all of you to do the same.

You can check out the group blog for the book club. As we read the books each month, a few of us will post our reactions on the blog and encourage discussion in the comments. We also have a group on Goodreads where folks can start discussions about the books we read, as well as other books and topics.

For September, we're reading Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi. Chally from Zero at the Bone is one of the group bloggers, and she has a post up for those of us not familiar with Iranian/Persian history. It should serve as a good foundation for some of the issues that come up in Persepolis and you should definitely check it out.

So read along and discuss. Look forward to seeing you at the blog or group. Happy reading! =)

Call for Guest Bloggers

2009-09-02T18:35:00.005-04:00

Even though I'll be going away for a few weeks at the end of September, I didn't want my wonderful readers to do without reading material for all that time. So I'm opening up a call for guest bloggers!

What you write about is entirely up to you. I don't really care about the subject matter -- feminism, race, politics, class, school, your new relationship, your wedding, how much you hate your neighbors, whatever. Okay, it should be something other people would want to read and I guess my only "rule" is that I must like your post in order for me to put it on the blog, but that's hardly difficult.

Here are some guidelines beyond that:
1) You'll need to get your post to me within the next couple of weeks. I would say before September 15 23. I'll let everyone know ahead of time when their posts will be up.
2) Because I won't have internet access, I won't be able to keep up with comments. So I ask that you engage with any comments your post(s) receive. I don't want my lack of access to discourage comments, so if they see that discussion is still going on, they will hopefully be more likely to speak up. That said, I don't really get that many commenters. Also, please ignore any trolls or spam comments you get because I won't be able to delete them until I get to a computer.
3) Please let me know ahead of time if you plan on cross-posting your full post (as opposed to, say, the first paragraph w/a link to the rest).

That's it! Really simple, see? Purty please help me out! =)

Send me an email to frausally(at)gmail(dot)com if you're interested or if you have any more questions. I'm really excited to see what you all have to say. WOOT!

The Carnival o' Feminists

2009-09-02T12:32:00.000-04:00

Between work, the newly-formed book club (links & more details to come), The Beatles: Rock Band coming out (this is epic for me - EPIC), preparing for my trip abroad (more coming on that too), some problems with technology hating me, and a bunch of side projects I'm doing in the hopes of building up my professional cred, I have had zero time to post about the things I've seen and read lately.

But, look, here's a shiny new feminist carnival to satisfy you for now. =)

The next feminist carnival will be hosted right here at Jump off the Bridge, so be sure to get some good writing done and submit your post by September 15. The carnival will go up on September 16 (I'm thinking late morning/early afternoon Eastern time).