Just Jossin'

2010-06-30T04:51:00.002-04:00

"Guys....It's Crunch Time."

And that, was rock bottom.

Finals 2010 kept it pretty real.

That #SARAG was outta control.

Oh Hell Yes

2010-05-12T02:37:00.002-04:00

So Eli and I (Joe) are studying in the Old Laundry Building. There are chips and soda left over from their barbecue for us to eat. The computer I am on has two monitors, I just moved this window. YES. Also because I had to use a different browser than Eli and Chrome was being 1.5 bitches I am on Opera. OPERA. According to opera.com: "Opera offers the fastest, safest Internet experience and gives you more features than any other browser." OK, Opera.

Another superfluous detail/realization: Pamela and Caryn have no idea this blog exists (probably), and YOU KNOW how much I love to talk about people behind their backs (jk, but srsly). Oh hell yes.

Thus, Eli and I would like to take the time to discuss how tremendously bad friends Pam and Caryn are:

1) Old person names

2) A hatred for kosher cereals which consistently makes my love for them awkward.

3) living in another dorm...for now.

4) 50% of them getting into Joss when I might not be able to in a semester.

5) A despicable affinity for Etsy and nail polish that we are pretty sure is a bigger priority for them than us.

6) An insidious takeover of our vernacular: We now utter "Yeah," "Better," and "Awkward" EXACTLY like them.

7) Caryn's legs make us jealous

8) Fucking awesome sweaters --jealous

9) Fucking awesome baking --jealous

10) THEY GO TO THE GYM. WTF.

11) Caryn falling/falling for younger boys

12) Pam being loud/loudly in love with dirty hipsters and/or non-threatening Jewish boys

13) Their celebrity couple name being Paryn and NONE OF US being ok with that.

14) Caryn's lack of facebook statuses (WHERE YOU AT?)

15) We are on a first name basis with both of their parents

16) Pam's parents can't figure out if I'm gay.

17) SINFUL PARTIES

18) Pam IS majoring Oprah.

19) They never helped steal us anything for our birthdays.

In conclusion, we don't actually detest Pam and Caryn (Paryn, UGH) but we we LOVE our freedom to do so on Just Jossin'

Thank you.

xoxo Jelli

GUYS I HAVE SO MUCH WORK

2009-12-12T23:37:00.009-05:00

IT IS LITERALLY BURSTING OUT OF MY EYES EARS NOSE AND ASS ORIFICES. LITERALLY.
THINGS I HAVE TO DO THIS WEEK:

A 25 PAGE RESEARCH PAPER DUE 5 MINS AGO

666666 ART/MUSIC HISTORY ID'S TO MEMORIZE BY MONDAY. THRICE.

GIVE A MULTIMEDIA PRESENTATION OF FOUCAULT'S PANOPTIC PRISONS. STARRING ME. AS FOUCAULT. AS A PANOPTIC EYE.

ANCIENT RUNES FINAL [I'M FUCKED BECAUSE I'M NOT A WIZARD, HARRY]

SINGLE-HANDEDLY INFILTRATE CONGRESS AND ASSASSINATE ALL REPUBLICANS [THE PLAN IS I WILL LURE ALL THE REPUBLICANS TO THE BASEMENT OF THE WEST WING [BY SLIPPING NOTES IN THEIR WHITE HOUSE LOCKERS THAT SAY "COME TO THE BASEMENT IF YOU ARE A REAL LIFE AMERICAN"] AND THEN SUDDENLY DROP AN A-BOMB ON THEIR ASSES], THUS PASSING THE OBAMACARE BILL

THAT'S ALL I CAN REMEMBER ANYWAY THANKS FOR EMPATHIZING, AS PROBABLY NONE OF YOUR PEON BRAINS CAN COMPREHEND THE IMMENSE PRESSURE I'M FACING RIGHT NOW.

Josspire State of Mind

2009-12-07T16:58:00.002-05:00

Note: I am well aware the title sounds more like 'perspire' than 'Empire' NO REGRETS.

I am procrastinating like a champ so I thought I'd share some of this year's additions to the quote book, a-hem:

"YOU DON'T JUST JOKE ABOUT LIKING DURKHEIM" -Tess

"That kid was holding a fucking ukulele while he skateboarded, THAT'S NOT OK" -Tess

"Because we know your L's are F'ed" -The Black Page Lives

"This is my Guinea Pig, Winston Churchill, the prime minister of my heart" -Kathee

"UGH SOMETIMES SANDWICHES ARE SO STUPID" -Eli

"Oh Eli..." -Eli

"F=ML" -Matt

"That hurts my catholicism" -Taylor Shoolery

"We only listen to ironic Canadian pop stars" -Jake

"YOU CAN'T JUST INVENT THE LINDBERGH BABY" -Tiffany

"Are we human or are we Empire?" -Tiffany

"HARRY POTTER HAS NEVER BEEN SCISSORS" -Shannon

"Ugh, I hate Gossip Girl Philistines" -Tiffany

"You know what's a good diet? ...........................gum" -The Olsen Twins

That's all...

XO4Y TAKOTO NANY

2009-12-04T02:21:00.014-05:00

Hey everyone,

I don't really have anything to say. I was just going through my bookmarks to keep myself busy instead of going to bed and I found myself here reading old posts. And I'm guessing if you're reading this, you probably either accidentally came here or were just checking it with a little glimpse of hope that it's been updated since no one's been really posting anything lately.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that everything on here has been so much fun to read and it would be great if it continued to be that way, but even if it doesn't, that's okay too because what we've had so far is pretty priceless anyway.. So thank you everyone!!

That's all.. :)

WHERE IS EVERYONE?

2009-09-03T14:17:00.003-04:00

We've been back in the wonderful house of Joss for a while now (some more than others, but still), and yet I haven't seen most of you nearly enough. I know this dea has been going around for a bit, but I think connections by walkie-talkies would be, as Joe now says, "action packed." (If you don't recognize the quote, we obviously haven't seen enough of you in Joss 104.

Kathee suggested a Toys R Us run to see if we can find cheap walkie-talkies to split, so let me know if that's something you'd be interested in.

Additionally, how was everyone's first week? Dying to know.

-Jake

I'm knitting mittens! In August. I hate myself.

2009-08-06T02:23:00.003-04:00

I have been working at at hippie-dippy arts day camp. This involves clumsily teaching yoga to and writing musicals for eight-year-olds. Here, for your reading pleasure, are the final moments of "Opposable Thumbs: The Musical." Anyone named after a tropical fruit is an ape. Anyone I was too lazy to give a name to is a human. Their families meet and mayhem ensues.

Dad: Lighten up, Veronica. Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it’s bad or dangerous. I say we all spend our last night in the Amazon doing something everyone can enjoy: having a cookout!
Everyone: Yeah!
Best Friend: (to Mango) I like your bananaphone! What kind of service do you get?
Mango: Oh, I have Ape T and T. It’s the best!
Daughter: (takes bite of bananaphone) Mmmm, delicious!
Pineapple: If you like that, just wait until you taste my mom’s world famous banana’s Foster.
Mom: (to Avocado) You’ll have to give me your recipe!
Grandpa: Well, hallelujah and butter my trousers! Let’s dance!
CLOSING NUMBER

Uhlllll. I miss you guys.

LathrUpdate #2

2009-08-02T18:41:00.004-04:00

Greetings from Lathrop!

Here's the deal. Of the twenty minute video Tess, Alanna, Sam, and I recorded to post here when they were visiting me, Tess' computer recorded a WHOPPING 7 seconds. Then, when we recorded a 6-minute apology video, Tess' computer recorded 1 second. We then recorded a heated explanation on Joe's wall, but that one failed too. Once we'd executed Tess and her computer pulled a Cornelius out the window, we decided to give up on that.

Still wanted to update Just Jossin, though, which was the basis for the video idea anyway. Seriously, no one updated through ANY OF JULY! Lame.

Life in Lathrop's been alright. It's very hot here most of the time, and the trek to the fourth floor is not my favorite (congrats on your location next year, Tess and Matt). But there have been fun people here for most of the summer. Although the Ford and URSI programs have ended, so campus has pretty much emptied out. That's your cue to come visit, by the way. Tours have been awesome and plentiful though, so I'm kept pretty busy during the day. Of course that's also because I've been watching so, so much Friends, The Sopranos, Weeds, My So-Called Life, Big Bang Theory, October Road, Pushing Daisies, Wonderfalls, The Office, 30 Rock, etc.

I hope everyone's summers are going swimmingly. Post about them!

Miss you all,
Jake

From China with Love

2009-06-10T07:34:00.002-04:00

So I finally found the way to access blogs meaning i finally read all of the summer posts and was so happy.
I decided I needed to write one too but of course because my connection was slightly illegal it didn't allow me to POST anything so I'm doing this through a proxy.
At first I was just gonna talk about China and how that's going but I changed my mind. I rather write about that later on when I actually have better stories to tell.
So I'm sitting in my room with my roommate and one of her BFFLs..angela rhoads and caryn schwartz and they are making lists of things they liked about their freshman year. I remembered we did that first semester so maybe I should bring up some of the most recent ones and then you guys can help me add to that.

So I feel like I should start with getting drunk till dawn episodes I & II. Episode I on that Sunday in Joe/Jake's and later in Tess's. Lot's of talking and plant murdering (Cornelius...noo!) and...yeah. Then of course that led to Episode 2 in our room. Fun times. Lots Joss-3 love.. (also, asbestos? wtf! is Joss sick? poor baby! ).

Mimosas with Jerbear on founder's day. hmm . yeah. and just founder's day in general. sam shin running around in her bra the whole time and all of us napping on ballantine hill. Then taking a break and playing apples to apples on Joss beach. That was pretty good. oh and jell-o shots.

Watching Veronica Mars. So much vemars. so much. so good. We used to be friends, a long time ago. Everybody say repressed homosexuality!

The Lost Finale. So I'm not a lost person but that finale was so good. So many gasps and emotions.

More and more stolen bday presents inlcluding but not limited to tiffany's shopping cart ride up and down the hallway. Esra's video gift (soo cute). Alanna and Ethans coordinated water themed gifts (sorry alanna, ill never talk about it again i promise)

For some us..making pancakes. for others, eating them. yumm!

More birthdays.

Being crazy.

I have to go do homework now. But you guys can add to that. There's much more.

Love youu!
xoxo
Eli

My Summer Life

2009-06-09T16:24:00.008-04:00

Hello everyone!!
I haven't had much time to sit down at the computer for the last couple of days, there's been just so much going on. Finally today I log in to my Facebook and there are 46 notifications. I will reply to all the wonderful messages/videos you sent right after this, (THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!) but I wanted to post something here first since I've been putting it off for a long time (though for good reason). Nothing exciting has been happening since I came back and it is highly unlikely that it will any time soon.
So I thought instead of boring you with a long account of my life here, I'll just put up pictures. So here, in case you were wondering. :)

Vassar Adventures!

2009-06-09T05:43:00.004-04:00

So I can't imagine there are too many people who are going to read this that haven't had the pleasure of viewing the Matt/Jake/Eliza (later just Matt/Jake) Hastily Recorded Videos series, but for anyone who doesn't know, I made the trek down to VassVass on Sunday morning and left the next day. To help you beautiful readers follow the tale, here is an accurate graphic representation of the trip:

Anyway, so it was my plan to depart at 8:30 on Sunday morning, effectively avoiding the mass exodus of motorbikes heading south from Lake George that day and to put myself at Vassar around 11:00. This past week was Americade, a terrible 9 days when 50-60,000 bikers descend upon the quaint little villages of Bolton Landing and Lake George. Around 8:20, as I was preparing to leave, Steve (Pattywheelz's boyfriend) decided we had to run a mini total diagnostic on Ol' Bessie, Pattywheelz's intrepid '92 Buick in which I was set to travel. After making sure the oil, brake fluid, transmission fluid, antifreeze, wiper fluid, and tire pressure were up to snuff, Steve gave the go-ahead for me to begin my journey. At this point, it was just past 9:00. Now, I'll never know if leaving half an hour earlier as was the plan would have helped me avoid the drive south in a swarm of motorcycles, but I like to think it would have.

So, armed with 2 Diet Cokes, a Happy Jack's bag stuffed with overnight things and a few stupid presents to shower on those I love whom I'd soon be seeing, and instructions to check the oil every time I stopped, I left for Vassar. I ambled down the 12-mile road that separates Bolton from the rest of the world, I sped (as much as I could, recall the bikes) for the 150 miles on I-87, and I flitted around the outskirts of Po-Town before finally crossing the beautiful, majestic Mid-Hudson bridge I've come to associate with home. I found a parking spot in among the sea of cars behind Joss that made up the last bits of reunion traffic and, gathering my things, I marched over to Lathrop and called dear Jakey to let me in (stupid no card access; Vassar, do you KNOW who I am?).

THIS IS WHERE THE FUN BEGAN. In honor of my visit, we... did exactly what we would have done any other Sunday when no one had any work to do. We ate, we watched a whole disc of Will and Grace (sorry, Teesh), Sam Shin squealed, we listened to Sarah Silverman, we ate more, we sat outside in hopes of watching a hawk devour a mouse, we watched the Tony's, we watched Sarah Silverman, we went to sleep.

AND IT WAS MORE THAN I COULD EVER HAVE HOPED FOR =D =D <3>

The next day, Jake had to go to work early so we arranged to have lunch at the Retreat at 11:00, his lunch hour, and I tried to go back to sleep (to no avail) and wound up attempting to clean Jake's room (to a little more avail than sleeping but not a lot more). Finally I put my stuff in my car and headed to Main to meet Jake (to complete avail!). After some tasty pre-wrapped Retreat goodies, some unbridled video recording commenced, Jake and Eliza went back to work, and I headed home (which was pretty much the earlier paragraph, except backwards and with no bikes).

Tragically I only saw Jeremy for like 10 minutes. :(

So here I am in Bolton at 6:30 AM on a Tuesday. I must have been more exhausted from driving than I realized because I went to take a nap at 7:30 last night and wound up sleeping until 5:15 this morning.

What's my point it writing this? I guess it's to tell you all how much fun I had. To encourage you to go visit too if you get a chance because Jake's couches are comfy. And maybe to help you come to the same conclusion I did about Vassar this summer:

I'm homesick.

LathrUpdate #1

2009-05-30T17:17:00.004-04:00

Finally moved in and settled down on the fourth floor of Lathrop. Moving was a nightmare, basically. Luckily, when we moved Mario's stuff (he's storing stuff for half the campus, I think) the elevator was finally available for use. Except, of course, for when we needed to move the GINORMOUS couch he, Eli, and I grabbed from the TH SWAPR and brought over to Lathrop. Which was also somewhat of a terrible, terrible ordeal. Eli took pictures instead of helping, so I'm sure you'll all see them soon.

In other news, my job is pretty much a joke. I have almost nothing to do. Really. No one comes into or sends anything to admissions until July, apparently. I started watching Weeds on Wednesday and I'm now on the fourth season. Almost all watched at work. Yeah, $8/hour for watching TV. Be jealous. But that does mean that people should come and visit! I have lots and lots of room!

In Joss news, the building has been fenced off and they've started work on the whole asbestos thing, but only on the west side of Joss. And yes, I got pictures because 1) I'm Jake Mars and 2) I wanted to scoop MadsVassar--suck it, Mads!...Anyway, here are the pics:

Love you all and I hope to see you soon,
Jake.

P.S. GO SEE UP! It's fantastic.

Spotted

2009-05-22T17:17:00.003-04:00

Crackwhore is back.
Sporting shoulder-length blonde (white?) locks, a slight slouch and a death stare that can send chills up and down anyone's spine. Seen recently being friendly to one Pablo Arenas who happened to be in the group of people I was in on the street in the TH complex.
She of course told people I was with (while I wasnt there of course) how much she hated Joss and her hallway and the freshmen. (story courtesy of andrea)
She walked towards me at one point, terrifying! and asked for a light. It was scary. But I am unharmed.
thankfully.

Thooughts?

In honor of the missed Lost finale...

2009-05-13T23:49:00.006-04:00

Anyone wanna watch it together tomorrow?

You Guys are Jossome!

2009-05-08T14:41:00.002-04:00

Lalala, this is my first post of all time. Lalala.
Go to http://deepleap.org/. It's the new Text Twist. Your GPAs will thank me.

a peek into the future...

2009-05-08T11:43:00.004-04:00

I thought we might all want to see what is destined for Tess and Alanna if they keep going down the perilous path they're currently following...

are you out of your VULCAN MIND?!
Go see Star Trek.

Oh hey there.

2009-04-28T14:23:00.004-04:00

As the year comes to a close, I have several thoughts. I could tell them to you--I could meditate on the successes of stolen birthday presents; I could discuss the bonds formed at elevensies and at one-thirtieses (which is where I am now, avoiding participating in the pointlessly "deep" conversation about Hitler...or something); I could gloat about getting y'all addicted to 30 Rock, Lost, The Comeback, and, most recently, the ultimately superior Veronica Mars. But I think that my real thoughts about the year ending can be summed up with one phrase and an accompanying video, after the cut.

Biiiiiiiitch, PLEASE.

FUCK IT'S HOT,
Jake

homeward bound

2009-03-25T20:45:00.000-04:00

Eli's freaking out with excitement.. :

http://campuscalendar.vassar.edu/mastercalendar/EventDetails.aspx?data=Nghe9Mdf%2b6plqD7X2CSCx3oJKGeOjDgDUi2fBwx2wLg%3d

2009-03-24T20:19:00.001-04:00

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Firefox: biggest drag ever.

OH SHIT

2009-03-20T22:59:00.006-04:00

OH SHIT... OH SHIT... OH SHIT... OH SHIT... OH SHIT
OH SHIT... OH SHIT... OH SHIT... OH SHIT... OH SHIT

How come every time you come around my london (london) bridge want to come down like london london london want to come down like london london london?

wayne johnson was made for this skit

2009-03-08T17:50:00.001-04:00

were we at joss, we would be quoting this obsessively. oh snl and its four minutes of funny per episode.

61, 934 --> WE LOVE BUBBLES!

2009-03-05T00:53:00.002-05:00

Tishi has officially made it to the global high scores of Bubble Spinner for March 5th, 2009. Good Job !!

Cuter than Bubble Spinner

2009-02-25T15:38:00.002-05:00

Ok guys, the times, they are a-changin'. This game (Panda Star) is way better and more adorable than bubble spinner because it has freaking PANDAS. (Credit goes to Becca for showing it to me) so play this one!

I wish we had Bubble baths in Joss...

2009-02-19T22:11:00.002-05:00

I wish we had bubble baths because nothing else could hold this many bubbles! This one is for all the people who know what exactly is going on :P. Enjoy, folkses.

EAT MY BUBBLES, NOAH LIPKOWITZ

2009-02-19T21:54:00.003-05:00

EDIT UPDATE:
THIS JUST IN: THE IMAGE OF NOAH'S PREVIOUS RECORD WAS DOCTORED USING MS PAINT, NOT HIS REAL SCORE, AND I BEAT IT ANYWAY.