The Brooklyn Boy

Brooklyn Heights

2011-11-29T21:43:00.001-05:00

Little man,
big dreams.

Bluetooth on his scooter
setting up schoolyard fantasies
he might never want
to achieve.

MM..Food

2011-10-28T20:49:00.001-04:00

Game 7 of the world series, and The Lady made jalapeno poppers, chili/guacamole nachos and sliced apple (for health). Throw in a case of yuengling, and I'm pretty sure that's a win.

How u?

My 1st Time

2011-10-22T12:04:00.003-04:00

Growing up in the 80s and 90s, the kid missed out on a cultural landmark, one that pretty much drew stares of shock and awe from the ladies in his life, especially considering his familial affinity for dance (via a broader relationship to the performing arts). The gasps started somewhere around high school, and moving forward, it became kind of a thing. Chalking it up to never dating anyone longer than six weeks, the kid figured if anyone ever conned him into watching Dirty Dancing, she'd have to be "The One."

After an engagement and two World Series games in two days, the jig was up.

Don't believe I didn't take notes. Enjoy.

8:41
Chillin live at the crib, Lady on the couch, Presidente at my side. She's already asked if "Be My Baby" could be our 1st Dance song. Also, she loves pink cursive: "It looks like neon."

8:42
The Lady says, "It has all the good songs in it." Because Big Girls Don't Cry just came on. This likely has something to do with the tape being stuck in her mom's tape deck during the early teenage years.

P.S. "I never though I'd find a guy as great as my dad?" Really, Baby, really? That's a whole set of issues.

8:43
There's a mention of Sandy Koufax on someone's transistor radio. That doubles as redeeming value and our 1st Jewish reference.

Also, I'm still waiting for the Law and Order chung-CHUNG to kick in.

8:44
Ferris' sister should judo kick someone in the face.

Nice haircut, Billy Zabka.

8:45
Group dancing in a pagoda dock? This is like Jew Camp all over again. Ha.

8:46
Seriously? Orchestral "Time of My Life" this early? Foreshadowing much? Gimme a chance to warm up!

8:47
"All the daughters – even the dogs." Classy.

8:48
The Lady: "Wiseasses wear funny glasses inside at night."

Just saying, but Patrick Swayze's hair was kind of awesome. My ish just goes straight. Lame. At least I look good with a buzz.

Also, any time you can take a shot at two groups of starving children, you just have to take that shot.

8:49
Cornell hospitality program. Sweet. He's totally not a creeper. Also, claiming to be a white Freedom Rider in order to get girls is bad juju. That's why Yankee Doddle Dandy showed him up with that dip.

8:51
"The Dance People." Might not sell lessons, but they just sold sex. HEYO!

8:53
chung-CHUNG
Aaaand she's a magician's assistant. Magicians always get the girls. As long as they're David Copperfield or that guy who stayed in ice above times square for a month without breathing. Whatever – that wasn't even magic. Just stupid.

Also, going into staff quarters means she's gonna do it. That's pretty much the only outcome. I wouldn't know.

8:54
TL: "There's going to be black people." And immediately Zabka carrying watermelons. Yikes.

8:55
Apparently this is the best part, The Lady tells me. When Zabka drops a watermeon. I opted for the Latina girl showing more leg than she's got hair. And this was the 80s.

8:56
So many '80s haircuts. Isn't this movie set in the '60s?

Also, TL: "There they are." Upon the reveal of Wesley Snipes and the other black person. Good thing the casting director remembered to add them in, or else we wouldn't think this movie was very diverse. #worstaffirmativeactionever

8:57
"Johnny Castle"?! He was in porn.

8:58
He's also a midair muff diver. Good trick. The Lady later asked if we could learn how to do that. I'm fairly certain I said "Yes" before she finished the question.

8:59
The black people are back. Cameo! Word up.

9:00
"I carried a watermelon." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. She's done. Flub that bad in front of a dude and your panties might as well be on the floor next to a neon arrow pointing back up.

Also, I haven't seen stiffer dancing since my bar mitzvah.

9:01
They're totally gonna do it.

9:02
"There's a pretty view from the first tee (... of my boobs.)"

Former Rockette, mom kicked her out at 16 – just like all the ones I met through my mom. Cheers!

9:03
Patrick Swayze's hair was really amazing. really.

We're hoping Penny's not an "all-night break"?! Druuuuuugs. Guaranteed.

9:04
"Let's take a walk (... and do it.)"

"I own two hotels (... and a three inch penis.)"

I'll be here translating sexual subtext all week!

9:05
Streit's matzos! Feels like home. Or at least the Temple pantry. Save for the shivering hooker suffering withdrawal in the corner. You know what makes the food at retreats taste better? Hopelessness.

9:06
Matzo meal! most jewish movie ever, and we're like 15 minutes in. No wonder everyone was mad i missed this.

9:08
Billy Zabka's name is actually Billy? That's amazing.

A New Paltz reference! I'm connected to this movie up and down. And we're already on our first abortion discussion. Not that I'm connected to that.

9:09
Read The Fountainhead so you can learn about how some people are inherently more important than others, and the riff-raff deserve their lot! This movie was ahead of its time. The Tea Party would be proud.

9:10
Jerry Orbach is good at golf. And very trusting. My daughter's never getting a random $250 she can't justify. Of course, she'll just know that and take advantage with a good cover story. But at least she'll feel bad.

9:11
The Lady is singing along in falsetto. She does that spontaneously sometimes. Not this time.

9:13
"Not a bad idea (... for y'all to do it.)" I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin he's sayin. I'm sayin.

9:14
Find the two. Whole different meaning if she says it to him.

9:15
Learning to dance makes you less frumpy because the backs disappear off your shirts and everything you own shrinks two sizes. It's true! (Apparently.)

"Feel the music (... and my penis.)"

9:16
"It's a heartbeat." He's going to touch her boob. And they'll make out.

9:17
Polka dot dance bikini. This are nice, wholesome dance lessons. Also, the other chick is having a mambo threesome (TL: "Baby Sandwich!") so she can kill a baby.

"Hungry Eyes." Subtle.

9:18
Two girls in fishnets, one with a belly shirt, the other with leotard. "Hungry Eyes" playing. Yup, it's the 80s. Except it's the 60s. Or something like that.

Either way, it's followed by our first lycra underpants/leggings combo.

9:19
He didn't tickle her pits. Now they're gonna do it for real for real.

9:20
No AAA? I know! Let's bash out a window. So we can still be wet, but inside the car. And out a hundred bucks.

... Smashed windows are the worst.

9:22
Balance exercises on a wooden log above a river? I remember this scene from the Japanese Street Fighter animated movie. It's less gay when it's not Ken and Ryu. And one of them's not a dude.

9:23
TL: "This is the part where he dances like a chicken."

9:24
She jump tackled him practicing lifts. And now they're in the water. If they don't make out this scene, he forfeits the man card. But he won't. Because the "Time of My Life" orchestral is back, and she's nipping out.

9:25
Mrs. Schumacher, we'll help you (... get old man penis. We're pros!)

9:26
Penny: "Thanks, Baby." Here's a dramatic monologue.

9:27
And you thought I was finished. Resume monologue, try for Oscar.

9:28
Emcee: "... Johnny Castle and partner." That's the reverse of straight porn. Unless it's Peter North.

9:29
Baby's hair in this scene? Not as awesome as Swayze's. But that's pretty awesome hair to compete with.

9:30
Baby's in the back. Johnny's her chaffeur. And lover. He totally just checked her out in the mirror. Aaaand she's climbing over the seat. And just gave him the FM eyes. He gave 'em back. It is ON!!

9:31
Straight to the staff quarters, and what did I tell you about those?

But wait – the abortion doc used a rusty knife and a folding table! Oh, brother. What a buzzkill.

9:32
chung-CHUNG
Orbach to the rescue!

PS There were no abortions at Jew camp. That i know of.

9:34
Orbach, to Baby: "Take that stuff off your face." At least it wasn't jizz.

9:35
"It's a great room." There's even a chair under all those clothes. PS Wanna do it?

"I'm nothin!" "You're everything!" "It doesn't have to be that way! "I've never known anyone like you!"

9:37
"I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling like I feel the way I feel when I'm with you. (Also, nice abs.) Dance with me. Here. (And put your P in my V, please)."

9:38
I'll even touch your butt.

9:39
Okay, I'm in. Off with the shirt!

9:40
A serene lake shot is all I get?! Lame. Worst sex metaphor of all time.

9:42
Penny: "You gotta stop it now." Hahahahaha. Like that's gonna work.

9:43
"I got a lesson with the Kramers." Likely. Also, it just looked like Baby had to poop. I thought Tom Cruise patented that face.

9:44
"Where's my beige iridescent lipstick?" That's how you know the sister's a douche.

9:45
The Lady: "Charades ... (points to her no-no zone) in the west lobby."

9:46
"No, they were using me!" Brilliant! That's a classic reframing of player past to reveal some heart, deep down inside. Take lessons.

(Pause to pee for TL. I still haven't broken the seal. Only on Presidente tres! Also, we ate a snack. It was pumpkin bread. This has been deemed important. And The Lady will provide the recipe if you're jealous.)

9:51

"What's your real name, Baby?" "Frances." "That's a real grown-up name." Smooth.

9:52
"I've decided to go all the way with Robbie. You wouldn't care if i humped the entire army on the side of the Ho Chi Minh trail." WOW.

9:53
Now Baby's pretending she's the dance teacher. DUNZO. He's got her wrapped.

9:54
This "Love is Strange" lip-syncing thing, this is what our relationship is like when y'all aren't around. It's actually what's happening right now. The Lady is wildin' out.

9:55
The "pachanga"? These aren't real words. Also, these pants are so high-waisted, Baby's got a FUPA.

9:56
The Lady: "I've got bangs. (Makes chopping motion) Chup Chup Chup."

No, that wasn't relevant to anything having to do with the movie.

9:57
"I don't see you telling Daddy I'm your guy." Lame.

9:58
The Lady: "Baby's so skinny because she runs everywhere. Penny's wearing a Santa Claus belt."

Robbie: "Looks like I picked the wrong sister, but I went slumming too!" Uhm, no sir. Jennifer Grey's actually kind of hot here.

9:59
Hey Hawaiian shirt - sweet 'stache.

10:00
Cougar alert!! Code Blue! Jealous Jen Grey! Stay tuned!

Also, the Sister, she's like every High School musical rolled into one.

Also, apparently her flopping forward to close her routine is The Lady's favorite part (of this part of the movie, distinct from the three others).

10:01
"Tonight's the night with Robbie!" Knock on the door and no answer? He's doing someone else. I tried to type that before it happened, but she charged in too fast.

10:02
They're in bed post coital AGAIN. Ugh. This movie would've been 10 times better on Skinemax.

10:03
Aw, Johnny Castle's porn penis is jealous of Robbie's manhug from Old Man Orbach. Too bad Baby is BUSTED!!

10:04
"I'm sorry Baby, I can't." "This danish is pure protein." Wait, what?!

10:05
"The reason I know is because I was with him." Eesh. That's like the time I met an ex's dad for the first time since we started ... dating, and I shook his hand thinking, "I banged your daughter YESTERDAY."

10:06
There are a lot of things about me that aren't what you thought. if you love me, you have to love all of them. False. You just have to let that other ish go.

10:07
Swayze's hair? Still awesome.

10:08
"Not for nothin, Baby." "Nobody's ever done anything like that for me before."

10:09
The sunglasses are back! Now you know he's surrious. But he took 'em off to meet pops.

10:10
"I guess that's what you would see." chung-CHUNG

"More time for horsehoes and croquette." Sweet. If you're the Red Queen.

10:11
"I'll never be sorry!" "Neither will I!" "K.I.T. forever!" Smooch. This is so Jew Camp. With the addition of The Lady singing karaoke.

Baby so sad.

"Baby, I'll do your hair, make it look pretty. (Because it's normally pretty disgusting. I'm not saying ...)

10:12
This is the generic Greek song, right? The girl just said she had a Chi Omega one like it and I was pretty sure it was AEPi.

10:13
The black couple! Skinny ties! An abortion reveal! So much excitement.

10:14
The old man came out, and I was pretty sure he'd die onstage. Glad I lost that one. Old Jewish guys are my favorite.

10:15
Swayze shows up. With his hair. This is gonna be good.

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner!" I now understand that reference someone made a a while back. Apparently that line is well-known.

"Sit down, Jake. (That alpha man is going to ravage our daughter and you're just going to have to deal with it. Because his hair is AMAZING.)"

10:16
"Time of My Life" for real. And he didn't even tickle her pits. The Lady claims it's because she's in love. I wish I had known that tell years ago.

10:17
The Lady is wondering if we can have "Time of My Life" be our first dance, provided we learn the entire routine. She even practiced laughing at the right moment. Because I told her that would be a requirement.

10:18
POWER JUMP OFF THE STAGE! HEY BABY! YEAH YEAH YEAH! I'M GOING TO DANCE DOWN THE AISLE NOW! AND LOSE CONTRO-O-L.

10:19
And now everyone else knows these steps. Little did you know this was a setup.

10:20
The lift. chung-CHUNG. Orbach approves. And now let's play London Bridge.

10:21
The mom danced with the creeper. Who's totally going to go home and masturbate while crying. Or rape somebody.

10:22
Old Man Orbach (to Johnny): "When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong." (to Baby): "You looked wonderful out there (and I'm going to hug you, because this is the last one I get in before he ravages you and I know it's happening. Veyasmir.")

10:23
They're making out in the middle of the dance floor without anyone noticing. That never happens in real life. Except for that one time it happened to me.

10:24
The Lady, with two thumbs up: "You did it!"

10:38
The Lady, upon reflecting: "It's a good movie. There's everything a plot needs to succeed ... and also dancing."

Truer words you've never heard. Provided you're female and born between 1975-90. Cheers?

Get the kid's debut chapbook, "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

Things I'm Pretty Sure I Think

2011-09-27T23:44:00.000-04:00

Forty-six percent through the first book I e-borrowed from the NYPL, I'm pretty convinced I'm obsessed with the 2008 Presidential election, from its lead-up to its ongoing aftermath. Game Change is the latest long-form to be tackled, it's interrupted my simultaneous reading of two other books and there's no way to count the number of Rachel Maddow podcasts or Slate articles or Daily Beast columns or Matt Taibbi features or whatever the frak else I've chewed through.

It's all just so ... fascinating to me, from Obama's rise to Hillary's (unfortunate?) implosion to McCain's comeback and Rocketship Palin blasting off to the Tea Party and the supermajority (Stimulus! Health Care!) to Scott Brown and the midterm election blowback and yet policy wins (DADT Repeal!) among unfulfilled promises (Guantanamo, Wall St. Reform) and a near-shutdown over once-routine procedure.

[BREATHE, homey!]

Why this has awakened a politics-consuming beast I have no idea. But now I call my old man whenever something breaks to get his read, before railroading him with so many words I didn't even know I wanted to say. Mostly I feel limited because I don't think I can be a part of that world due to background (this blog, for starters. Ha.) and don't have the time to volunteer. I have to settle for the occasional CTC, and hope they spend it well. So lame.

In other news, I had a job interview today. So there's that.

Get the kid's debut chapbook, "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

Back in BK

2011-08-31T22:02:00.000-04:00

Drinking wine,
watching Jersey Shore.

(What happens
when home alone.)

Ron and Sam are stupid.

... Again. Ugh.

Get the kid's debut chapbook, "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

How it Happens

2011-08-26T08:53:00.001-04:00

Money tight, love your girl?
Propose with decoder ring.
Says yes? She loves you.

(Mine did.)

An Update, of Sorts

2011-08-03T21:59:00.000-04:00

I have not been writing. Not a lament there, simply a fact. Not here, not in a notebook and not at work either. Been that kind of funk. With my own words, anyway. Done some layout and design ish for a few other people's projects, and to be fair, have been reformatting Relationships I Might Have Had with the intention of making it available via Amazon's Kindle store, as well as Createspace for anyone who'd like a hard copy on demand. Got a few ideas on the project front, though I've been a bit intimidated by finding out Brooklyn has 79 (!?) neighborhoods ... or so says Wikipedia.

General knowledge and some internet analysis cut that back down to 57, but good golly, that remains to be a few. Definitely more than the summer project I intended. However, it did lend itself to The Lady offering to help by illustrating (... a compromise to her initial suggestion of just eating a snack in each).

On the plus side, I successfully guided her through the first season of Battlestar Galactica. So I've got that going for me.

Get the kid's debut chapbook, "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

Keeping the Faith(s)

2011-07-31T11:12:00.000-04:00

Three weeks in a row,
we read out of the Torah.
Jesus Christ, coming soon.

Get the kid's debut chapbook, "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

Advice for the Pre-Frosh

2011-05-03T20:22:00.000-04:00

An old friend is 10 years older than her younger sister. With the munchkin heading to college in the fall, she put a call out for advice to present in a compendium, specifically demanding poems from this Brooklyn Boy. I provided the following.--TBB

Advice for the Pre-Frosh
(That she will inevitably ignore,
because her older sister is way ~~prettier~~ wiser;
than I.)

When you get to college,
show up anywhere
they offer free pizza;
you might not like the club
but you might like the people—
especially
if they’re there
for the food.

Be brave with
your pre-requisites.
If “History of Sea Power”
sounds more interesting than the
Post-WWII American History survey
your friends signed up for together,
because you all took it in high school
take to the seas,
even though no one will
care that Admiral Nelson won the
Battle of Trafalgar—
Britain’s greatest naval triumph—
with one ...

friggin ...

arm.

ONE!

I’m just sayin.

As you walk around campus,
you will see flyers and
think, ‘Man, those are
fucking annoying. There
are so many and
each is soooo clever.’

Yet you’ll realize that
there's an event on
every one and you
never have reason
to be bored.

Don’t enter into a serious relationship at any of the following times:

Freshman Orientation.
No, seriously – Freshman orientation. You’ll spend four years catching up, even if you don’t talk to any of those people after first semester sophomore year like every other college kid. That seems weird, but will make more sense in the future. I swear.
Before pledging, if you go Greek.
Whenever your friends start complaining about how you “used to be fun” before you started dating that … “thing.”
Whatever semester you become an editor at the paper.
Before you leave for study abroad.
… Because you’re going to study abroad. I don’t care how annoying this gets to hear. It’s totally worth it. You will regret not doing it. And it will be real fucking bizarre when all your friends tell stories about last semester, and they’re all, “Right, Lis? Right? Wasn’t that an awesome time?” and you have to be all, “Uh … no, idiot. I was on a DIFFERENT FUCKING CONTINENT.” Also, I recommend home stay over dorms or apartment, if that’s an option.
As graduation approaches.

Disregard any/all of the above if you know. You will. Or you won’t. There’s time yet. If you need a golden rule, I’d go with this: Have fun. If it’s not fun anymore, stop. College is supposed to be fun. You have the whole rest of your life to be serious and intense. Unless you’re serious and intense. Then just try not to be too much of a drag. Everyone else is trying to have fun. Crawl out of that library cave once in a while. The bright, shiny thing in the sky? That’s the sun. It provides warmth and happiness to others. Ask someone what those things are, and then try not to stare too hard at that thing they’re doing with their face. It’s called “smiling.” Seems to have some correlation with people enjoying themselves and/or what they’re talking about. You want to be one of those people, because the nice feeling in your tum, that you can share. It’s like a little present you can give strangers, and all it takes is a wave, or a grin. Promise.

Get the kid's debut chapbook, "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

At it Again ... and Always

2011-04-27T01:04:00.001-04:00

Hermano, he signed me up for the open mike. Penny, she drew my name first. That, my friends, they call a sign.

I pulled out a copy of the book I've yet to really push, reading a story I don't think I'd recited in public. It went over well, and I even found rhythms in words that hadn't been blessed with an audience. Advantage: Writing how you speak.

The comics to follow were good; their material at different levels of ready. That is how these things go. The supportive mikes help all others stand, on the backs of their trial-and-error.

It was good. To be back. For the first time this time. It won't be the last. It never is.

The Morning After

2011-04-16T11:24:00.001-04:00

It is quiet. We are back from breakfast. Bodies everywhere. It is quiet. We're not normally here. The house, a disaster. Hurricane Intangible. It is quiet. Short-order sandwich settles in my stomach. We are in a kindergarten-cum-apatment. The door opens into a room with three doors. That is weird. It is quiet. Sean edits a video. Two teams play baseball across the street. They are little league. This is the 'burbs. We almost lost Joseph. It is quiet. You'd think it would be easier to spot him: 6-3 and black. The syrup was "Vermont Maid": blonde and blue-eyed. He had stopped to buy smokes. He says the girl in the pharmacy is worth buying from. He says he'll find a reason to return. It is quiet. I slept in a chair. Then someone left. I slept in a reclining chair. My back is grateful. I changed my clothes. Coffee. It is quiet. My season is over. There is no plan. There is time for that. All day to do nothing. We'll catch up. Me and Joe. And Sean. It is quiet. Bamboo is up. Kerri is still sleeping. So is Diabolical. And Peace and Omni and that's all. Sierra left. So did Kristen. And TJ and Taibs and Joy and Johnny and Caroline. We'll see them later. It is quiet.

Wait 'til Next Year!

2011-04-09T22:24:00.001-04:00

The Mets? Not in the best shape, between the Madoff money, the regime change and the transition year. But one thing I can always count on, even in a new stadium whose namesake, as a taxpayer, I helped bail out, is getting out there with the old man at least once a year. And often more than that.

Today, the Mets were winners. So were we.

Word to BMG

2011-03-28T21:01:00.001-04:00

The great iPodMeister purge is underway. *tear* anyone else miss mid-90s alternative?

Waiting on the Warm

2011-03-26T16:50:00.001-04:00

We are in a cake supply store. I am guarding a pile of molded styrofoam. The Lady is in charge here. I am the driver. In a car with a busted bumper, courtesy of the three-car pileup that is (luckily!) proving more pain in the proverbial ass than any actual problem. Also, everyone was okay, even if the cars weren't, and that seems important.

This month has been hard. And busy. But good. We have to pay attention to the finances, but The Lady is officially freelancing. There are opportunities in the works, and a few already underway. This will work. She's capable ... and wants to keep this awesome apartment, ha.

We're going to make it work. And that's what matters. Part of this whole package deal. Well, that and mitigating the meltdowns that were killing our vibe every three weeks.

Baseball season is upon us, and that means I'm this close to the summer schedule. The roof is open. And there's something like hope hanging in the sun, even if the warm weather is yet to come.

It'll get here soon enough. Indeed.

Hello, Brooklyn (... Again)

2011-03-12T20:16:00.002-05:00

The last time I lived in the Better Borough, I was a single, poetry-slamming, open-mic attending wrecking ball still using a flip-phone in an era before Android existed, let alone had a Blogger app.
Now, I'm nearly 2 years deep w/ a nice ~~Jewish~~ Southern girl, in a building that was supposed to be condos, working so hard at the day job, I'm about to fall asleep on the way to a bachelor party while I blog from the MyTouch.
Times, they are a-changin. Or things done changed. However you roll. All told, the kid's hoping this mobile opportunity to (thumb-)type the thoughts helps boost the blogging muscles into flexing a touch more frequently.
See you round the 'Webs, eh?

X-Mas with the Lady's Fam

2010-12-28T10:24:00.000-05:00

Playing Ninja Turtles with her younger brother,
when we're both 27.

I believe they call that bonding.

Spent almost a week with The Lady's fam, due to the ever-so-awesome Nor'easter blowing through. Had a great time, and think I navigated the multitudes well enough as a Brooklyn Yankee in Middle Georgias's Court. It's a funny balance to strike, attempting to integrate the self with another family, not wanting to impose without appearing aloof. But her brother's a big sports fan, her mom is sweet as tea, her dad is affable, and those are waters into which I can wade. They're good people, and that's plenty enough for me. Here's to hoping I'm enough for for them.

Cheers.

Get the kid's debut chapbook, "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

My Head Hurts

2010-11-21T17:22:00.001-05:00

I'm convinced hangovers are now more brutal because they're infrequent.

Dear Lord, how did I do this regularly?

Also, I'm officially back in Brooklyn. Officially.

That is all.

Get the kid's debut chapbook, "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

2:38 a.m.

2010-10-31T23:12:00.003-04:00

Came home to a house flooded
in incandescent lighting and
a girlfriend asleep,
because she wanted me to come close
instead of remaining
atop the closed cover of the toilet, reading
until I was tired.

Get the kid's debut chapbook, "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

I've Been Meaning to Post This for Days

2010-10-07T16:16:00.001-04:00

Day 18 of 20 consecutive at work, and the kid is a tired one. I haven't gone to bed before 11 p.m. this many times since high school. On the plus side, it's time for basketball season. Woo hoo. Also, there's barely a month left before this Brooklyn Boy moves back to the Better Borough, for what's looking like the next two years. Get hype! Really, I'm just excited to be in a one bedroom with kitchen counter space, enough room to host people and whichever awesome Samsung HDTV I end up with. (I'm pretty much down to this one.) The washer/dryer, dishwasher, huge closets, gym and pool don't hurt the cause.

Oh, and for the record, I got my tuchas handed to me in poker. (You can play the numbers, but that doesn't mean the players won't eff it all up for you.) Lost ante aside, we tried out the Gekkeikan Plum Wine and Nigori Sake "White Cloud" cocktail. It was a pretty solid fall drink, described as having something of a "ginger-birch" flavor, likely due to the chai-infused apple cider. Though it was on the sweet side, the crowd seemed surprised to find they actually enjoyed it, provided they stuck to sipping.

When we took the plum wine and Nigori sake on their own, the cloudy-white Nigori (in a spiffy neon green bottle) drew most of the interest, especially when cut with a splash of the plum wine. The plum wine held up best on the rocks. All told, a fine addition to the party. Thanks again to Lauren at Sidney Frank for the hookup.

Get the kid's debut chapbook, "Relationships I Might Have Had"

http://www.twitter.com/bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

Mm..Sake

2010-10-01T09:32:00.004-04:00

Sidney Frank PR wants you to know that today, October 1, is National Sake Day, designated more than 100 years ago as Nihonshu no Hi, the “Day of Sake” to mark the new calendar year in sake production.

I'll be ringing in the rice wine restart with some free samples of Gekkeikan during a 10-deep poker game at my boy's place in Murray Hill, and will let y'all know what we think. But if you're inspired to check out Gekkeikan's fine line of 14 sakes and plum wines, you might want to add the following to your cocktail list:

White Cloud by The Tippling Bros

3 parts Gekkeikan Nigori
2 parts chai-infused apple cider*
2 parts Gekkeikan Plum Wine
¾ part simple syrup
*Place 4 chai tea bags in a liter of apple cider and refrigerate for four hours. Then remove tea bags. Shake all ingredients well over ice and fine strain into a highball glass filled with fresh ice. Garnish with a green apple slice

Enjoy.

Get the kid's debut chapbook: Order "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

Gravitational Pull

2010-09-29T23:48:00.000-04:00

She wore a Brooklyn Dodgers T-shirt, Katy Perry'd out, with bangs I hadn't before seen and the modest unease at gatherings she shed once someone else was handling the invites to her farewell party. It had been a long minute since we'd met face-to-face, and somewhere in the formalities, Riese and I remembered the rhythms of the conversations that had started online three years ago, when I was still living upstate, and she was still writing many thousands of words about feelings three times a week and running book clubs and making me wonder whether I'd ever be able to so eloquently express myself in prose.

The conversation ran exactly as long as it should've, which is to say: longer than you'd have thought, and tragically shorter than one would like. It's different when you know this is going to be the last one, even for a while. Every word seems weighty, and you try to herd the conversational cats, fencing in topics you want to discuss even as they break away, never quite the same if they bother to return. This is why we dip our toes into these convos, once, twice, a third time before finally letting the world spin us separate ways. Gravity never lets go, people do.

But people can try, and Riese draws orbits of her own, responsible for the union of once-virtual characters like myself and everyone's favorite monkey, long before that one ever introduced me to picklers. A;ex is also heading off to the Left Coast, where where I'm hoping she spreads her joy to someone else worth running across an entire gym to jump on and say hello while they're completely schwasted. (I caught her. Promise.) My parting memory will be of the awesome cowboy boots our dear Semicolon wore to Mason Dixon, a whiskey bar with a mechanical bull. Stef pointed them out, and I thank her for that, along with the party invite I might not have gotten otherwise, which would have meant never meeting Caitlin Mae in the real world. Stef makes me thankful for many things, like having someone I can call to go see Hesta Prynn perform without being made fun of (too much).

I think Riese still doesn't know how it happened, ending up the center of this Auto-Universe, running a Web site that's got the kind of audience that everyone else wishes they had. And that's okay. I'm just glad I caught wind of the cyclone. It's been one helluva ride.

With a tip of the blog, I say, L'chaim. And best of luck in the Bay.

Get the kid's debut chapbook: Order "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

The Pivot

2010-09-27T23:32:00.002-04:00

This is the 12th installment in my ongoing serial. You can click the "A Story" tag to see all the posts combined in proper order. Feel free to drop a line in the comments and let me know what you think.--TBB

“Yeah. Sorry. That was totally awkward.”

“Yup.”

“My situation’s sort of up in the air.”

“Ah.”

“I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“That doesn’t seem likely.”

“No, really. Nowhere. I just got kicked back here and there’s no way I’m letting my parents find out.”

“Quite the rebel.”

“Shutup.”

He smiled, placed the book into his bag as he rose, slung the strap over his shoulder and began to head for the line. After a few steps, he stopped to look back. She had followed him only with her head, everything from the neck down paralyzed in anticipation of a move it wasn’t quite ready to make.

Get the kid's debut chapbook: Order "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

I Like Turtles Books. I meant Books.

2010-09-14T23:05:00.001-04:00

With all the ~~writing~~ I'm doing for work, I've been quite consumptive – mainly reading Howard Bryant's Juicing the Game, my 6,000 magazine subscriptions and desperately trying to finish David Plouffe's The Audacity to Win ahead of Friday's due date. (So I renewed it online yesterday and the deadline now exists only in my head. Whatever. Also, the NYPL has come a long way. Though I miss them sliding the stamp cards in and out of those manila sleeves.)

Any case, both books are fascinating; the former for the depth of reporting – seriously, he interviewed everybody – and the latter for its inside view of the grassroots gameplan that rocketed our boy Barry all the way to the White House. Any case, that's all I got. Well, that, a fantasy baseball semifinal and a Giants win heading into the Manning matchup Sunday night. It's a start.

PS Happy new year to all the other MOTs out there surfing the Webbernets.

Get the kid's debut chapbook: Order "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

Oh, Vacation, How I Miss Thee So ...

2010-08-27T15:46:00.000-04:00

Got some notes to catch y'all up on after going on vacation for a week and spending this week settling back in to having a job. (What? I didn't tell you crazy kids I was going anywhere? Bad blogger! That's a clear violation of Section 19, Article 4b in the Blogging Rulebook. Eesh.) Let's see ...

It's actually possible for me to tan, it just takes a week and eight hours a day in the sun. Also, I'm allergic to whatever's in the coolant Neutrogena put in their spray sunscreen. Was worried about the hives for a minute there.
I'm still really good at reading things, I just don't have time because of my stupid reverse car commute to work. Between two bus rides to Boston, flights from NYC to Jacksonville and Atlanta to NYC, I read: two issues of Harper's, a Rolling Stone, an Entertainment Weekly, Sports Illustrated's college football preview and a New Yorker, along with the following books: Steinbrenner: The Last Lion of Baseball, Waltz with Bashir, The Watchmen, Forty Million Dollar Slaves and Knockemstiff.
I really miss Penny's Open Mic. I need to go back there more often. Mainly because it's awesome, but also because it's about time I really try to push my book on impressed audiences. You can still get your copy here for only $10! That's less than 20 cents per page for 50-plus pages of prose and poetry!

... K, I'm done. Promise.

... As long as one person buys a copy online in the next week. I'll even inscribe it for you. For real for real. (For real? For real.)
When Harry Met Sally, which I finally saw for the first time, at least in its early stages, is practically a pickup clinic. I'm not saying ... I'm just saying. There's lessons to be learned there.
Ronnie is an MFing disaster on Jersey Shore, but Sammie is so irritating, I'm not even mad. Also, watching the girls passive-aggressively trying to pass the baton on telling her about Ron-Ron slayed me. Oh, drama.

Any case, I'll get on writing the next section of that story before the end of the weekend. Enjoy yours!

Get the kid's debut chapbook: Order "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious

Agh. This is Happening.

2010-08-12T09:05:00.008-04:00

We're getting pretty deep into this here story – 11 posts! You can click the "A Story" tag to see all the posts (in reverse order). Feel free to drop a line in the comments and let me know what you think.

--TBB

She gathered her things.

“Where you headed?”

“Eh?”

“Generally one’s plan isn’t to stay at the airport, unless they’re in a city that isn’t worth exploring.”

“Oh. Yes.” She paused here, as an answer solidified its acceptability. “A friend. I’m visiting a friend. Who’s a boy.”

This last utterance didn’t even fully escape, instead tumbling over the parched crevices of lower lip with progressively less momentum, a fragmented slice of something she wished she’d phrased better, or preferably left altogether unsaid. The repeated rhythm of the first part would have been awful enough, were it not overshadowed by the brutally hollow follow-up. Organs sank atop her stomach, flattening out into one big sheet of embarrassment as the cringe worked its way back up the esophagus. She realized it was again her turn to talk.

Order the kid's debut chapbook, "Relationships I Might Have Had"

Follow @bkboy on Twitter. | Like thebkboy on Facebook.
| Bookmark this on Delicious