Little Adam and Bobby just got their allowances. Their parents take them to the toy store and they see they can each afford either an airplane, space shuttle or a race car. There is only one space shuttle left, so Adam immediately snaps it up and goes home. Bobby however stalls until the store closes before carefully selecting the race car. They bring their new toys to school the next day to play.

Adam rubs the fact that the race car can’t fly in Bobby’s face. But then Bobby shows that he found out his race car can actually turn into a robot, which can fly AND shoot a laser gun. Adam’s jaw drops. Shoot a laser gun? His last of its kind space shuttle didn’t look nearly so good anymore. Adam stops playing, calls Bobby a pooface and yells that robots can’t fly.

He then stomps home, where he snaps off a wing by trying to make his good for nothing space shuttle turn into a robot. Instead of fixing it and having it continue to painfully remind him of his horrible choice, he just throws the space shuttle out and gives up his dream of becoming an astronaut. The boys have not spoken to this day.

The parable of Adam and Bobby demonstrates several common human behaviors:

• First, Adam chooses according to scarcity, not inherent value. Once taken out of the original context, all perceived rareness is lost.
• Second, Adam quickly changes his opinion of his toy due to the emergence of a new unforeseen criteria that trumps all.
• Third, once Adam realizes what has happened, he begins to irrationally resent the person who pointed out his mistake and take his frustration out on his toy for not living up to his new criteria.

You may have guessed that Adam is giving us a preview into behaviors not becoming of a Kaizen Bachelor. And you would be right. However, there is another point of view you may not have considered.

• Bobby is called a pooface and lost a friend simply for being a smarter shopper.

As a Kaizen Bachelor, we may have to endure some anger, disdain or even malice from those closest to us. Nothing hurts quite like disapproval from friends and family.  All I can say is, when you find yourself in a situation where a friend is threatened by what you are accomplishing, just be the bigger person, turn the other cheek and try to not let it get to you. They’ll come around eventually.

That being said, it’s not our job to start smugly pointing out other people’s flaws and mistakes. We don’t want to fall into Adam’s trap of loudly insisting that our way of thinking is superior. We have to remember to let other people live their lives in peace.  After all, it is always the more effective strategy to inspire the people around us, than to have to convince them.

Before we continue, I will state that this text is not intended for everyone. Everyone sees the world through their own unique lens, and the best I can do is share what I see from my point of view. I will do my very best to give the rationale behind my opinions, but if you find yourself unable to follow my line of thinking, I fully support your right to disagree and walk away.

First and foremost, this book is not for people who feel they live a completely happy life. If you are one such lucky person, I highly recommend that you stop reading now. Whether you feel you earned it or not, there is probably nothing more I can say to inspire you. Happiness is what we all ultimately want, and if you feel content with where you are in life, then I would be doing you a disservice by convincing you otherwise. I am happy for you, just as I know you would be happy for me.

Secondly, this book is not for people who are unwilling to try new things. Some of the ideas will seemingly contradict everything you’ve ever experienced… at first. But realize that your experiences have gotten you to this point. If you’re looking for radical change in your life, it only makes sense that you would need to start thinking radical new ideas. Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Thus, being inflexible will doom us to the same fate over and over. If you want to break the cycle, I urge you to keep reading, otherwise simply come back once you’re more receptive.

Instead, this book is for people who just can’t shake the feeling that there is something missing in their lives, and is finally ready to do something about it. Once upon a time, I had an easy, well paying job, a large social circle, and a beautiful, devoted girlfriend. By any external measure, I had everything anyone would want, but something nagged at me. I instinctively knew that I was not happy. Most people would count their blessings and leave well enough alone. I instead blew up my life.

Friends and family called me crazy when I gave it all up and started over from scratch; I quit my job, broke up with my girlfriend, and left all my friends for a different city, determined to find that missing piece of the puzzle. Ten years later, my journey has come full circle and I am now able to share what I’ve found with you. Spoiler alert: You’ll be able to use what you learn almost immediately.

One last note: Although the Kaizen Bachelor is written ostensibly for a single, straight, male audience, I firmly believe that with some adjustment, the major ideas can be applied by anyone with the right mindset, regardless of marital status, sexual orientation or gender. Enjoy.

A man walks into a grocery store and goes to pay for a box of cereal, a can of spray cheese, a 6 pack of beer, and a car magazine with a swimsuit model on the cover.

The female cashier looks at him and says, “Heh, I’ll bet you’re single.”

The embarassed man answers, “How did you guess? It was my groceries wasn’t it?”

She replies, “No, it’s because you’re ugly.”

I’m sure you’ve heard some variation of this joke before, but have you ever taken the time to think why it made you laugh?  The humor comes from exploiting two unfortunate widespread stereotypes:

• Single people are immature
• Single people are undesirable

Neither statement has any basis in fact.   But in jokes like this one, the fear of even being labelled as single is perpetuated through every culture around the world. To be sure, without coupling, the human species would die out. However, we no longer live in an age where people died before they were 40, or where our mating pool is limited to the village we were born in. For all our modern problems, it is unfathomable how much better off we are now than when our biological and cultural imperatives were inscribed. With at least 6 billion living people in the world fighting for the same resources, our drive to ‘settle down’ and reproduce is obsolete. It’s time for a conscious change.

My ultimate goal for the Kaizen Bachelor is to reboot our collective idea of singleness. I posit that when done right, being able to overcome our mental programming is not only good for the world, but also allows for incredible personal growth and fulfillment. But before an idea can spread to the many, it must be heard by a few. So here I am, humbly sharing what I’ve learned in my short time on this planet with all interested. Thank you for reading.