Hope you all had a fun and safe New Year’s Eve and aren’t sending the day too hungover, be it from partying to just lack of sleep! And sending our wishes that 2014 brings you love, laughter, joy and just the overall awesome life that you deserve.

Here is 2012 and 2011. I’ve got previous years hidden somewhere. How was your 2013?

1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before? 2013 was an odd year for me in that it really felt like it flew by. All of our big events from 2012 seem like they happened this past spring and summer instead of the one before. We had some pretty serious things come up in the beginning of the year that I think kind of put a damper on the whole thing. But overall, it was a pretty quiet year. As a result, I really don’t think there was anything I hadn’t ever done before that I did. Unless you count superficial things, like having a girls weekend in Charlotte with my sister-in-law so we could see Pink or factory ordering a new vehicle. But there wasn’t any life changing accomplishments. Which frankly, I’m ok with. I’d rather have a quiet year than a tumultuous one. Though I did just remember that I tried yoga and loved it. Steve and I were doing it for a couple of weeks and will probably try to get back into in 2014. So that was a “new” thing.
2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I am a list maker by trade. My entire life consists of lists of lists of things to do, things to accomplish. So of course, I make resolutions. And some of them I kept, some I could have done better. I like to think of them as more guidelines anyway. Things I know I need to pay more attention to it in the following year. So that I look back and have something to reference as needed.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No one in my family but a few friends had babies. Next year though, we’re expecting my first nephew and I’m so, so excited about that.
4. Did anyone close to you die? I always enjoy the years that I can give a resounding NO to this question.
5. What places did you visit? I’m changing this to places because every year, I expound on how I don’t go to “countries” and never actually thought about changing it. Of course, the year I do this is the year we really didn’t go anywhere at all. I made a trip to Charlotte and to my hometown in NC. Steve and I went back to Philly. I went to Atlanta for work. And we generally just putted around the Lowcountry here.
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? Better will power and more energy. I am, as I have just now come to terms with, inherently lazy. Or perhaps unmotivated is the better way to describe it. I have grand plans to do it all and be all but at the end of the day, I just want to take my pants off and eat macaroni and cheese in front of the TV. I often wonder how many mountains I could move if I just tried a little harder. I would love to want to try.
7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? A lot of these date are private because we had some downers in 2013 that kind of affected things. But a few of them are positive. January – the day our new boss started and work became a much better place to be. March 17th – the weekend I got to see Pink, my favorite singer, with my sister-in-law, my favorite bestie. September 7th – the day Steve bought his Jeep. November 16th – the day I ordered my Jeep and negotiated like a champ. December 26th – the day I picked up my Jeep.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? There were a couple at work that allowed us to move forward with a project that has been stagnant for awhile. 2014 will be the final push for those though. And as far as at home goes, nothing major. As I said above, I had a quiet year and it just kind of came and went. So there wasn’t much as far as huge achievements went. Maybe little things like finally replacing the lights in our kitchen and dining room. Though I’ve cut down on my soda intake drastically and replaced it with sparkling water. I’m not completely done with soda but I’m very close. So I think that could count as one. I was pretty much addicted to Diet Coke so it’s like overcoming an addiction.
9. What was your biggest failure? Falling off track with my fitness regime and eating healthy. All of the weight I managed to lose in 2012 just came right back in 2013. It is something I struggle with constantly and absolutely know I need to improve upon. So I’m hoping I can bring it back to life at a more moderate pace that I can easier keep up with.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Thank god there was none this year because we dealt with some serious illness with a close family member so I don’t think we could’ve done that and us at the same time.
11. What was the best thing you bought? My new Jeep! After ten years of driving my Hyundai up and down and all over the East Coast, it was finally time to say goodbye to the old girl. And I was determined to get exactly what I wanted since I knew I would be keeping the next car for quite a long time. And I couldn’t have made a better decision. I have never been so in love with a car. It’s amazing! Also, our Xbox One. And the giant seven foot bean bag that Steve got me for my birthday. (Though I didn’t really “buy” either one of those.)
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? As with every year, my husband. I am very fortunate to have found someone to be my partner and my cheerleader and my rock. He pointed out to me this year that a testament to our love is how often we high five. Which is a simple way of saying how in sync we are and how we always are in each other’s corner. And I hope to continue high fiving him for eternity.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in my life that I need to keep at an arm’s reach because if I let them in, there will be a lot more drama and issues than I need or want. These are usually the people who make me appalled and depressed. And those are the reasons that I just don’t let them in as much as I should or deep down, really want to.
14. Where did most of your money go? Our money always goes towards the bills, as I’m sure yours does too. We need to keep a roof over our head and food on the table and that shit’s expensive. And my goal is eventually to be debt free so that takes a lot of up front expenses.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? We had a staycation in February that I really looked forward to. And we knew we were going back to Philly for a wedding in October so that was something we looked forward to. And the six weeks between when I had the dealer order by Jeep and when it arrived was full of anticipation and excitement (and completely worth every minute)!
16. What song will always remind you of 2013? Wagon Wheel – Darius Rucker, Jolene – Zac Brown, Colder Weather – Zac Brown, Let It Go – Zac Brown, The Monster – Eminem, Doomsday – Nero (because of Borderlands 2)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
    a) happier or sadder? It is always a wonderful thing for me to be able to answer this question with happier because even though life has thrown some curveballs, I am generally happy with it.
    b) thinner or fatter? FATTER! BOO! All the progress I had made went out the window because I got lazy.
    c) richer or poorer? I’m always comfortable floating along in the same money department. That will change when the car payment kicks in I’m sure but it’s manageable. As far as life goes, I’m richer. Infinitely.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I had exercised more. I wish I had done more healthy living. Spent more time with the ones I loved. Told people I loved them more. All things that I’m working on balancing.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Wish I had drank less alcohol and eaten less awful food. I wish I had been less negative about things and people. And less time spent on the couch in my PJs doing nothing. Though I always enjoy that sometimes it’s hard to get motivated.
20. How did you spend Christmas? Surprisingly, we had no plans this year. All of my family is scattered and we don’t really visit Philly anymore so we were able to stay at home. Normally, we’d get together with my parents because they live in town but they were traveling this year so we just stayed in and enjoyed a quiet day. Watched our favorite movies on Christmas Eve, ate cheese and crackers. Then opened presents the next day, watched A Christmas Story, made dinner and texted and called people.
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? I don’t talk on the phone much. Who does anymore really? But if I had to pick, as always, it was definitely my mother or sister-in-law.
22. What was your favorite TV program? Boardwalk Empire. Sons of Anarchy. Breaking Bad. Game of Thrones.
23. What was your favorite video game? (I substituted a question I wasn’t too keen on with one I’d rather answer.) Borderlands 2. Still. Always. (I just am not over it us being done with it.)
24. What was the best book you read? My reading was pitiful this year. I spend quite a bit of my day reading various things on the Internet for work or pleasure so actual book reading tends to fall to the wayside. Out of the three books I read this year, none of them are noteworthy enough of mentioning here. I aim to change that in 2014.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery or rediscovery? Sirius XM Satellite Radio (it’s in the Jeep and I forgot how much I love having it). Spotify, still, because it’s my primary source for music. And Steve won a Big Jambox from his work Christmas party, which is essentially a giant Bluetooth speaker. And while it’s not something we would’ve ever bought for ourselves, it was a great gift to win because we’re both in love with having a Bluetooth enabled speaker that sounds wonderful and can stream our music without us having to plug phones in or anything. So it has really opened us up to the idea of having music feature more prominently in our lives than just in the car on our way to places.
26. What did you want and get? A new Jeep! A second bean bag for us to play video games in. An XBox One.
27. What did you want and not get? An iPhone 5s. Because it’s time for a replacement. But it’ll just have to be in the budget for next year. And we flirted with buying a new house. Well, not a new house as the one we looked at was a bit older and dated. But it was bigger and had the garage of Steve’s dreams as well as a phenomenal outdoor entertaining space. But the inside just didn’t work as easily for us as the outside things and I wasn’t willing to lock us into a higher mortgage with a bigger property that we only half liked.
28. What were your favorite films of this year? Pitch Perfect! Catching Fire. Bad Grandpa. 
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? In 2013, I turned 32 and because I am now old and don’t need a huge celebration anyway, we stayed at home. Steve cooked me dinner and we played video games. That is the ideal birthday for me!
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? There are always quite a few things that could make things immensely better. I mean, winning the lottery obviously would’ve done amazing things for us this year. But you can’t always hold out for pipe dreams. You gotta work with what you have, you know? Needless to say, there are of course quite a few things and situations and people and perspectives that could’ve been done differently or changed to make the year infinitely better than it was. But sometimes dwelling on the what if’s are the things that bring you down. So I just think it’s best not to think about those lest I get mired in the possibilities of a perfect life that will never exist.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013? The same as it always is. Comfortable. Casual. Classic. I discovered the amazing comfort of Danskos earlier in the year and now that’s the only shoe I wear anywhere because they’re super comfortable and look good with anything.
32. What kept you sane? As always, my husband. My best friends. XBox. Call of Duty. Borderlands 2. Booze. Food.
33. Whom did you miss? I have never been lucky enough to have all the people I love or want or need around me at one time. My entire life consists of missing people, either their presence or their spirit. It’s just such a part of me now I don’t even think about it much anymore.
34. Who was the best new person you met? My new boss, who is awesome and makes my job immensely more satisfying.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013: The biggest lesson I learned this year was to let it go. Stop thinking and talking about and fretting over the things that I have no power to change. Stop letting people live rent free in my mind. This has helped immensely with just getting through some situations that we haven’t been able to resolve and won’t have any resolutions in the near future. I just want to do better with this mantra in the next year.
36. Do you have any lost feelings of others? None that hadn’t already been lost before. Some people have disappointed because the expectations have slowly not matched up to what I thought but that’s life. Not everyone is going to act like a grown up or have their shit together.
37. Quote a song that sums up your year:

You keep your heart above your head and you eyes wide open
So this world can’t find a way to leave you cold
And know you’re not the only ship out on the ocean
Save your strength for things that you can change
Forgive the ones you can’t
You gotta let ’em go

[featured image source: here]

© Kristy for four23.org, 2014. Leave a Comment: Out With the Old … | Read: 7 comments Elsewhere: Twitter | Facebook | Tumblr | Pinterest | Instagram

© Kristy for four23.org, 2013. Leave a Comment: – ing | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Facebook | Tumblr | Pinterest | Instagram

This thing still on? Man, it’s looking a bit desolate around here these days.

There’s no big explanation for why I was gone so long. I was just off, doing stuff. Stuff that I spent time thinking about writing about but never actually sat down to write about. So there was me being gone. And now there’s me being back, just because I need a place to write things out. Because anyone who’s been in this blogging game long enough knows how cathartic just dumping your thoughts out is. Because we’re the one with ALL THE THOUGHTS. My husband? He has thoughts. He has great thoughts. But he does not have ALL THE THOUGHTS running through his brain at all hours and minutes of the day, especially those hours and minutes where you are trying to go to sleep THANK YOU BRAIN!

So I might be a rusty for a bit. Things might ebb and flow. I make no promises because, well, I know better.

In my absence, we just kind of lived. Watched some movies and shows. Ate at some restaurants. Clean my house. You know, all of THAT stuff that requires multiple lists in my Wunderlist app (which is an amazing cross-platform to-do list maker that has pretty much replaced my old tried and true method of meticulously writing and rewriting my lists in a pretty layout in a fancy Moleskine notebook. Yea, I’m a bit of a freak!)

But in all honesty, if I look back over when it was that I actually stopped posting frequently, it was in the fall of last year and that was right after we found out and were handling Steve being sick and right before we got entrenched in the time-sucking, life-changing ultimate couples bonding but highly, highly, HIGHLY addictive hobby …

Ladies and gentleman, if you value your free time, don’t ever, EVER start playing Borderlands 2. If, however, you have all the time in the world (or, you know, no children) and want to spend quality time with your spouse (and are the type of couple that can play co-op games without killing each other), feel free to pick up a copy. It has, hands down, been the most rewarding yet frustratingly addictive experiences of our entire relationship.

For the past right or nine months, this has been my view:

[via]

That right there, up above – that’s life for me. And I know, many of you are thinking “Really? REALLY? First world DINK problems!” and I know this. I KNOW THIS!

We spend more of our time playing this than any person should. It has been a great bonding experience because we learn to compromise and to help each other out and to communicate (like when I yell, “I’m down …. I’M DOWN! … COME FUCKING GET ME!” as he’s off looting chests). But this game is built completely around being addicted to it. This Cracked article illustrates it much better than I can. But the basic premise is that you are out doing missions and you’re collecting loot – ammo, money, weapons, etc. The more missions you do, the better the loot gets and the more experience points you get. The more experience, the higher you level and the cooler your abilites get and the harder the enemies get, meaning more XP, better weapons and all of that good stuff. It’s cyclical and it’s addictive as all hell. And the ENTIRE game is built for teamwork – the more people who play, the harder the enemies, the better the loot. The characters complement each other and depending on which way you level them up, they become extremely complementary for a team which pretty much allows you to wreck house.

We’re on our sixth or seventh playthrough of the story and each of us are on our second character. I played a Siren first, who has this Phaselock ability to pull enemies out of the fight by suspending them in midair. Now I’m on a Mechromancer character where I can release a robot called Deathrap that pretty much just goes around beating the crap out of enemies.

So it’s pretty much awesome but it has taken over my life.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is my uber-privileged super nerd rant about how UGH, VIDEO GAMES ARE TAKING OVER MY LIFE!

I realize how that sounds. I do not care. Part of the fun in deciding not to have any kids is to take full advantage of said decision.

But I digress. I could write a million articles about how awesome the video game and I may very well in the future, because hey, write what you know, right? But I just wanted to pop back in and say HAI! and maybe do a quick Friday five for old time’s sake since it’s an easy way to put something out there that’s semi-relevant.

So here’s today’s Friday Five, themed Austerity.

1. When you have to cut back on spending for a time, what are the niceties you’re least likely to give up even though you could (or should)?
   

   Brand name soda for me. There is a slight Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper addiction that I struggle with and I just cannot stomach generic no matter how hard I try. It’s in place of coffee so at least there’s only one vice there. For my husband, it would probably be cable. I could live without cable and am still trying to convince that a combination of Hulu and Netflix would work for us but he’s not biting.

2. In leaner times, what are your go-to “famine foods”?
   

   I usually try not to skimp on foods because I truly believe that healthy, unprocessed foods are a necessity, up there with gas and a roof over our head. I’d rather spend a couple hundred dollars on fresh foods I can cook at home over, say, getting my hair done. That being said, we’ve been known to whip a dinner of hot dogs & baked beans with macaroni & cheese. Or fish sticks. But lately, it’s been more of a homemade grilled stuffed burritos with some tortillas, chicken and veggies. Just as reasonably prices but with fresher and better for you ingredients.

3. How do you keep yourself amused or entertained in times requiring great frugality?
   

   For the most part, I’m fairly good at entertaining myself. I love to read and that’s a cheap hobby, particularly if you take advantage of the library and friends who read. If you’re taking into account slipping back into frugalness after a period where I’ve been afforded the ability to have permanent sources of entertainment, like a video game console, an iPad, etc. then those can keep me busy with just a leeched Internet connection. There’s always music and movies that I already have. Going outside and just being outside. For me, it’s not a difficult thing to do things that don’t cost any money. It’s just finding the time to do all of those things within the confines of all the other stuff going on in my life.

4. When was the last time you had to go into austerity mode?
   

   I have been blessed enough so far that it’s been some time, probably since before Steve and I moved in together. Of course, we have lean weeks and we plan accordingly but for the most part, we get by with what we have and that’s a combination of being fairly easily entertained and making the decision to not stretch ourselves too thin in life.

5. What’s a necessary expenditure others might consider an extravagance?
   

   The Internet. There will always, always been a spot in my budget for having high-speed Internet in my home. I believe that it provides infinite amounts of entertainment, knowledge and interaction for such a minuscule amount of money and it will always be a necessity in my book, so much so that we’ve not looked at houses to buy because we couldn’t get high speed Internet. Also, a car for me and gas money. This is yet another thing that I consider absolutely essential. Because Steve and I work in two different areas of the city, there is no possibility of car pooling and public transportation is not as accessible as, say, Philadelphia. I therefore consider it an absolutely necessity that I have my own way to work and that I have gas money to get me back and forth to work and any other place that I need or want to go at the moment. I’ve never really understood people using lack of gas money as an excuse not to go places. In my mind, gas is another neccessity for living and getting around. And there’s a difference between using it wisely and being wasteful.

So that’s about it for now. It’s on the agenda to try and be better around. We’re blowing through the final DLC of Borderlands so I’m assuming at some point we’ll get a break and my normal hobbies can resume. If not, I guess I’ll see everyone in November when XBox One comes out and Steve goes back to playing Battlefield on his own!

© Kristy for four23.org, 2013. Leave a Comment: From the Borderlands: A Friday Five | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Facebook | Tumblr | Pinterest | Instagram

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
   Well, there was that whole getting married thing but we didn’t treat it as a major deal and kind of wish people would stop acting like it was. (I mean, yes, we get it, marriage is a big commitment and all of that stuff but we’ve been together TWELVE years and we lived together for SIX. For all intents and purposes, we were pretty much married. Aside from that, there was the whole exercise regularly thing which I have let fall a bit to the wayside over the holidays (and by holidays, I mean pretty much all of fall/winter but in my defense, the daylight savings time really kills my ability to do my walk after work). I was really pushing myself to be active and get fit this year and I did more than I have ever done in my life and damn, if I wasn’t proud of myself for that. I also got my Concealed Weapons Permit which was something I’ve been meaning to cross off my list and it couldn’t have come at a better time.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
   There were a few I inadvertently kept and some that had to fall to the wayside because life changed and plans changed and they weren’t going to fit in with where things were. But overall, they weren’t really resolutions in so much as a list of things I’d like to accomplish, which greatly took the pressure off and let me accomplish a decent amount of them. I plan to take this same approach this year and hopefully will be just as productive, if not more..
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
   My sister gave birth to a baby girl in June, our first niece on my side. So so cute!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
   After a couple of years of losing some very special people, we thankfully escaped this one unscathed. Here’s to hopefully repeating that for quite some time.
5. What countries did you visit?
   Look, until “countries” become “states or cities in the mainland US”, my answer for this question is going to be the same. Maybe that’s what I’ll do instead but that’s going to have to wait until next year because we didn’t go ANYWHERE this year.
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
   Less drama, more love from all areas of my life. Better relationships with people I should have been keeping in touch with but distance and time and life just got in the way. Acceptance and the ability to move on from wishing for something we won’t ever get, at least not any time soon.
7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
   April 1st – the day we got “engaged”. April 6th – the day we got married and told everyone. (I told people when it happened, we wouldn’t mess around. Five days y’all! That’s all it took!). June 23rd – Our “wedding” party that we had a blast at. August 1st – the day an illness kicked in that would eventually lead to us finding out Steve has Crohn’s.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
   Talking Steve into marrying me! HAHA! Standing up for us when it really needed to be done (and putting aside the fear I have of confrontation). Oh, and doing better on my shooting and written test for my CWP than my husband!
9. What was your biggest failure?
   Not being able to let shit go and just letting it fester. And to be frankly honest, drowining so many of those feelings in alcohol under the guise of “social” drinking. This will be a detox year for me!
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
    This has been a fairly illness and injury free year for me (*knock on wood*) which I’m thankful for because I don’t think we could handle both of us having issues at the same time. I do struggle with some foot issues with all of my walking but I think I’ve figured out what they are and am on the road to resolving them, which makes me happy because there’s nothing I have found I enjoy more than walking and it was making me seriously depressed that I couldn’t do it without pain.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
    Our new entertainment center and 55” TV. It finally makes me happy with how the living room is coming together and feels like a home. I feel more like a grown up than I ever did, even when sitting in front of it and playing video games with Steve.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
    Look, this answer is just going to be the same every year because I cannot begin to explain how awesome my husband is to me and how he brings so much value and joy and love to my life. Also, a big shout out to my parents who didn’t kill me for running off and getting married – they were upset but they didn’t turn their backs on us and accepted that we did it the way we wanted to unlike some others that we know. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO AS PARENTS!!!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
    2012 has been a very sad year on our part as we’ve watched people who we though we knew and loved make decisions that are in contrast to what we expected from them. And unfortunately, those decisions have had a direct effect on our relationships with them and it’s heartbreaking. But while we’ve struggled with it, I think we’ve both reached a place where we are aware of what we want and who we are and we will not compromise that to make someone else happy (and to only have them turn around and do the same thing to us the next time an issue comes up). And we know what we need to move on and that’s peace and acceptance of how the situation is and to stop fighting over how it should be. Also, people who don’t have vaginas and reproductive systems trying to make decisions and tell me what I can and can’t do with mine. In other words, the entire political system and those that participated for all the wrong reasons because, no. That’s just not how it’s supposed to work.
14. Where did most of your money go?
    BILLS. BILLS. BILLS. And the mortgage. And Christmas was a tad bit overboard this year. But at least I’m aware of that and plan to dial that shit back next year. Also, food. Because as it turns out, eating well and healthy is expensive as shit. But I’d rather invest my money in that and make sacrifices in other places.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    I’d say I got excited about being married and, I did, but since it happened so quickly and I didn’t even believe it was real until we signed the papers, the excitement only got a chance to bubble under the surface and not explode like it normally would. It just kind of leaked out through the year so I guess it still counts. (That still doesn’t make it any more awesome but you get the point).
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
    Anything from Pink’s new album since that shit was on repeat for like four months straight. Also, “Call Me Maybe” because like it isn’t for y’all? Also, “Starships” because whatever, it’s catchy enough to dance to in my car. And “Somebody that I Used to Know” because we all screamed it when we were alone. You know you did. (So basically anything that was popular on the radio which is ironic considering I pretty much don’t listen to radio anymore)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

• a) happier or sadder? Generally happier but I am blessed to pretty much always be able to say I am happy.
• b) thinner or fatter?  THINNER! YAY!
• c) richer or poorer? Eh, depends on your definition of the two. In some ways, I am infinitely richer. In others, I am poorer than I have ever been.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
    Take more pictures. In the past, my photography has corresponded with things we’ve done and since we didn’t do much or go anywhere this year, there is much photographic evidence. But I took a photography class earlier and plan to take two more so I’d really like to make more of an effort to photography our daily lives and make trips out to document this beautiful area I live in. Also, just generally to get out of the house more. Also, maintain this blog. I started off 2011 with a lot of drive and put a lot into it but then it kind of fizzled. Sometimes I just feel like my life isn’t all that interesting enough to write about and then I regret it when I open the site and realize I’ve missed writing about four months of my life.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
    Hoped for people to act the way I expected them to or the way a normal person would expect another person to act. Because that never played out and it really hurt. Also, I wish I would’ve been less negative and more positive in light of things. And I could’ve been a better friend, daughter, sister, granddaughter, all around person – I just get so wrapped up in the daily life that it’s hard to step out of that and make time for others.
20. How did you spend Christmas? 
    No traveling for yet another which I’m starting to enjoy. We had friends over on Christmas Eve and ate dinner than watched movies and hung out. Christmas Day we woke up and exchanged presents then went to my parents to do the same and have dinner. Very quiet and low key and man oh man did I love it.
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
    This question is pretty much the same every year – my mom and my sister-in-law because they’re the ones I talk to on the phone and I spend quite a bit of time talking to them both.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
    This was the year of catching up on things we’ve been missing and falling in love with them or falling back in love with them. Breaking Bad. Game of Thrones. Boardwalk Empire. There were also the usual favorites: Sons of Anarchy.  The Walking Dead. Modern Family. The Big Bang Theory. Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  And a new favorite: Nashville.
23. What was your favorite video game? (I substituted a question I wasn’t too keen on with one I’d rather answer.)
    First three quarters of the year: Skyrim. Last quarter: Borderlands 2. Oh man, I love those games. It was a great year for video games.
24. What was the best book you read?
    I didn’t do nearly as much reading as I wanted. Both Borderlands and Skyrim are very intense and time consuming games so they kind of took over my life. But of the books I got in early in the year, these are my favorites: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. A Grown Up Kind of Pretty by Joshilyn Jackson. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. And Let’s Pretend this Never Happened by Jenny Lawson.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery or rediscovery?
    Not really a discovery because I’ve always known this but Pink’s new album, The Truth About Love is so amazing. It carried me through all of my four mile walks in the Fall and it never gets old. Also, my Spotify Premium subscription which was hands down like a miracle from the heavens and pretty much killed my Pandora addiction. You mean I can search for and find almost ANY song I want and listen to that song RIGHT NOW? And I can make playlists that pretty much correspond with all of my mix CDs from college and not have to wait to burn them? And I can subscribe to playlists of all the boy bands from the 90s and fast forward through the songs that nobody liked? Yes … yes please!!!
26. What did you want and get?
    An iPad!! (woot woot!). A Coach bag that took me months to pull the trigger on. My CWP. Married!
27. What did you want and not get?
    Apologies. Forgiveness. To be heard and understood.
28. What were your favorite films of this year?
    Looper. The Cabin in the Woods. Magic Mike (for the experience more than the film). Ted. The Hunger Games. The Avengers. The Dark Knight Rises.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    I turned 31 so it wasn’t a milestone day. Plus, we had just done the whole getting married thing like two weeks before in which Steve bought me a sparkly wedding band so I had all I needed. But I did take the day off work and we went to dinner with my parents at a local restaurant to celebrate. It was a nice low key day and sometimes you just need to usher in another year that way.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    If things could be the way they used to be but I sadly don’t think we’ll ever get back to that place. It also would have been nice had we not had to discover Steve had this illness but in a way, I’m kind of glad we did so we can maintain it better than we were when we didn’t know.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
    I’m in my thirties and pretty comfortable with myself so my fashion concepts don’t really change from year to year. I wear what fits and flatters and isn’t uncomfortable. I did break out a bit and wear some dresses this summer but only because I found ones that I was comfortable enough with their fit.
32. What kept you sane?
    Steve. My friends and family. Booze. And shooting things in Borderlands (or stabbing people with swords in Skyrim).
33. Whom did you miss?
    I’ve lost a lot of people who were very special to me over the years and I always miss them, especially around this time of year. But there are people still here who are mere shadows of their former selves or the people I thought they were (and this is after YEARS of knowing them) and I miss those people because the new ones in their place are not very likeable at all.
34. Who was the best new person you met?
    I’ve been blessed to meet so many wonderful new people this year – I don’t think I could narrow it down.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:
    I learn so many lessons every year.

• The extra twenty minutes it takes to style a really good haircut it worth it’s wait in gold. So is putting on enough makeup to make yourself not look like a zombie. With apocalypse nigh, you wouldn’t want to be mistaken for the undead just because you didn’t feel like dressing up to go to Target.
• You cannot expect every situation to work itself out the way you want it to. Bitching about it constantly is only going to make you feel worse about it. Bitch once then move on. There are plenty other things to complain about it.
• Also, it’s probably better to try and find something positive. All of the negativity just puts you in a shitty mood. Yes, we need to rant about stuff but sometimes, no one wants to hear that and it’s more tiring to talk about it than it is to flip the script.
• The best way to bond with your significant other is to find one thing the both of you enjoy and do that until you don’t enjoy it anymore. Then realize you’re more addicted to it than him and force him to continue doing it until you’re over it (I’m talking about Borderlands).
• Addiction is a genetic disease that can hit you faster than you are prepared for it. The key is to recognize that and stop that shit before it starts to bend you, let alone break you.
• Stop caring so much and you’ll be less affected by those who don’t care about you.

35. Do you have any lost feelings of others.
    Expectations, same as last year.
36. Quote a song that sums up your year:
    
    

1,2,3,4,5 years go by
I don’t really know why I don’t really know why
7,8,9,11 years go by
I don’t really know why I don’t really know why
I still feel the same way I did when I was 17
I still look over my shoulder waitin for the world to change

 

1,2,3,4,5 years from now
I hope I’m still getting down
I hope I’m still around
But 6,7,8,10 beers ago
I had a revelation all is well right now
It’s all good right now

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: 2012 | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Facebook | Tumblr | Pinterest | Instagram

A power is on the earth and in the air,

From which the vital spirit shrinks afraid,

And shelters him in nooks of deepest shade,

From the hot steam and from the fiery glare.

Look forth upon the earth—her thousand plants

Are smitten; even the dark sun-loving maize

Faints in the field beneath the torrid blaze;

herd beside the shaded fountain pants;

For life is driven from all the landscape brown;

The bird hath sought his tree, the snake his den,

The trout floats dead in the hot stream, and men

Drop by the sunstroke in the populous town:

As if the Day of Fire had dawned, and sent

Its deadly breath into the firmament.

~ William Cullen Bryant

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: August Poem | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Facebook | Tumblr | Pinterest | Instagram

And today was nothing short of a lazy suburban Sunday. Cuddled with my husband and the puppies when I woke up then we decided to hit up Sam’s to replinish some of the bulk items we’d run out of. Go in with a short list and come out with more than double what I had written down, but in our defense, all things that we will put to good use or will make our lives easier. Also, delicious fresh cut fruit and lunch meats and fresh rolls for quick and easy meals throughout the week. Spent the rest of the afternoon surfing the Internet and cuddling with the dogs while Steve worked on his car. Now we’re just biding our time waiting for Breaking Bad to come on – he’s playing Battlefield and I’m going to settle in and blow through my current literary entree, Insurgent.

Either that, or I’m going to convince him to play catch up on the True Blood episodes that we’re behind on. (Mostly because we have yet to reach an episode this season where Alcide is shirtless and I know it’s happened so I NEED TO SEE THAT!)

But in the interest of talking about random life stuff, I leave you with this because it’s all my brain has tonight.

Listening . . . Been listening to my Taylor Swift station on Pandora quite often. It’s filled with a lot of country music, mostly Miranda Lambert, Blake Shelton and Zac Brown Band (aside from Taylot Swift herself). The country genre isn’t usually in my normal repertoire but on hot summer days, I crave the kind of laid back and easygoing vibe I get from a good country song. It makes me think of family and my home in North Carolina, driving with the windows down on the back country roads. It my version of summer music!

Watching . . . Completely caught up on Breaking Bad. Most of our TV time, when the XBox isn’t on, has been taken up by the Destination America channel, particularly if the BBQ Pitmasters show is on. I am thoroughly addicted to this channel and that show. I tweeted that it should be changed to “Food Network for Fatties” because every type of show on there could rival Paula Deen’s recipes with regards to how BAD they are for you. But the BBQ Pitmasters shows I LOVE and I can’t explain why. It just basically chronicles the same few competitors in BBQ competitions. It’s most likely due partly to the fact that Steve has been heavily into perfecting his BBQ techniques but you’d think HE’D be the one enamored by the show whereas I see it and I immediately have to put it on.

Reading . . . Begrudingly finished This is Where We Live by Janelle Brown (eh!). Tore through Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn in under 24 hours. Holy shit what a book that was! I haven’t read something in a long time that kept me guessing as long as it did and when it finally delivered, it delivered over and over again. Now I’m reading the second in the Divergent series by Veronica Roth – Insurgent. Liking it so far. I keep putting it down to do things that need to be done and it keeps calling me back.

Eating . . . As many summer vegetables as I can my hands on. Tomatoes are being consumed at alarming rates around here and are being used for anything and everything I can justify. Also, tons of fresh pineapple. I am in LOVE with the stuff. It’s become my go-to dessert around here. And my husband’s BBQ. I could live every night off something he smokes on our grill. I mentioned awhile back that we had gotten a simple Weber charcoal grill. Since then, Steve has smoked Boston butts, which turn into some of the most delicious pulled pork I’ve ever had, boneless chicken and this past weekend, he did a quick smoke of chicken legs and thighs which he then basted with Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce at the end and oh my heaven, they were amazing! Juicy and moist with just the right amount of smokiness and sweetness from the BBQ sauce. My mouth is watering just thinking about it! Looks like I’m having BBQ for dinner (despite having it for lunch and dinner last night!)

Drinking . . . Too much wine and Diet Coke and not enough water, as usual.

Wearing . . . More skirts than the me of last summer would have ever thought I’d wear. I had on my amazingly comfortable and quite flattering maxi dress from Target today and got a compliment on it from one of the lady’s at the store. Made me smile!

Feeling . . . Pretty good for the most part. I finally took the initiative to take some inventory of our kitchen last week and now have a list of meals that will last us for at least two weeks so I don’t have to come home from work and dread trying to figure out what we’re going to whip up for dinner. This makes me happy because it allows me to keep with my routine of working out right when I get home then starting showering and starting dinner and settling in for the night. I’m always sad to have to go back to work though. It would be nice to live a life where I could utilize all hours of the day for things I love rather than things I need.

Wanting . . . A housekeeper or magical laundry fairy or someone who will come in and make all my dirty clothes clean and just appear folded in my drawers. I would also like to drink wine and eat entire bags of Goldfish without any consequences but alas, I am apparently living in a fantasy world tonight.

Needing . . . To carve out some time to go through and declutter all of the areas of the house that become black holes for crap. It’s been two years since I did this and the stuff has slowly built up again. It’s time to play another game of keep, donate or trash and get this place back to being organized so that things can be useful instead of just taking up space.

Thinking . . . If maybe it’s time to start looking into some set education goals to advance my career. Or at least strengthen the skills I have now. I’d really like to look into becoming a SQL database administrator, or at least get a better handle on my database knowledge. I did a career quiz the other week that indicated that I was a Researcher and enjoyed presenting data and facts in a well-thought out way (the general jist of it) and that assessment was pretty spot on. There’s nothing I enjoy more than figuring out the road map to get the data to display the way I need it AND to set it forth in a pretty and easily understood way.

Anticipating . . . The photography appointment we have next weekend to get real live professional grown up pictures taken, the first ever we’ll have had done since we started dating. Giving Jillian Michael’s Body Revolution a shot. Seeing The Dark Knight Rises just because I love everything Nolan has done with this triology and am excited to see how it ends.

Enjoying . . . The little bit of indulgence I allowed myself earlier by having a brownie sundae with vanilla ice cream, caramel sauce and praline sprinkles. It was delicious and worth every single empty calorie!

How are things going for you currently?

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Currently… | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Facebook | Tumblr | Pinterest | Instagram

I think I’m just in complete sensory overload after the crazy weekend we had. It was pretty much the exact opposite of last weekend. Instead of cocooning myself inside for two whole days, we had parties both Saturday and Sunday nights and at least one of those parties included my husband shotgunning beers, which I haven’t seen him do since our college days. As you can imagine, they were quite boisterous and rowdy times but completely worth it!

I also got to make my first Farmer’s Market visit on Saturday morning, which I enjoyed immensely. The abundance of fresh fruit and vegetables made my inner healthy girl jump for joy and I walked away with tomatoes, mini red potatoes, a pineapple, strawberries, blueberries, peaches and cherries. The strawberries, peaches and blueberries were used to make fruit salsa for the party we attended last night. (Note: I used the above mentioned fruits plus bananas and apples. I also omitted the extra sugars and used apricot preservers. And I bought cinnamon sugar pita chips instead of making my own, which I’ve done before and is worth it but super messy and time consuming!) The pineapple will be sliced tonight and used as a snack through the week, as will the cherries. I haven’t yet figured out what I’m going to do with the potatoes but I’m sure it won’t be that difficult since they’re delicious in any form. And the tomatoes will be used for various purposes since I’m so in love with them lately that they go into anything I can justify putting them in. I used them to make a delicious caprese salad on Saturday, with fresh mozzarella and balsamic vinaigrette dressing. It was so yummy!

I really need to go through my cabinets and refrigerator and take inventory. I have been a ridiculously awful homemaker these days. It never fails that if I’m on top of one thing, like laundry, everything else, like cleaning and dinner, falls behind. I haven’t made a decent meal plan in weeks and we have stuff in the kitchen that just needs to be used. I keep making last minute trips to the store and that gets expensive as well as cuts into my exercise schedule, which then makes me feel guilty because I’m skipping it to “run errands” when in reality, I’m using “errands” as an excuse.

I also woke up feeling sick this morning. I haven’t yet determined what it is. It’s either due to running myself ragged or allergies. Or the fact that I was drinking rum and cokes last night – on a SUNDAY, Y’ALL! And then I came home and forced myself to stay awake another hour because the premiere of Breaking Bad was on (ZOMG! SO AWESOME!). I’m really hoping it’s just an allergies type thing, something that isn’t an actual illness because I so don’t want to be sick.

At the same time, I’m not too happy about this allergy thing either. I’ve never had major issues until lately. It’s worse at home and in the mornings and I’m pretty sure it’s partly Baxter’s fault because I never experienced it until we brought him home. However, it’s worse this summer than it was last year when we got him. But I’m wondering if it’s also due to the fact that the house has been closed up like a cave since about April. The weather basically went right into humid and hot temperatures and we’ve had the air conditioning on with no breeze blowing through for a good three or four months. And the curtains are ALWAYS closed because Steve emphasizes how it keeps the house cool and while I GET IT, I HATE IT because I feel like I’m cooped up in a cave all summer. I’m aware I could just solve that by going outside but it’s freaking hot. And sometimes I just need some natural light and air in the house. Like, it’s my version of seasonal affective disorder only in the summer because it makes me antsy and sad if it’s always dark in the house.

Regardless, whatever it is that’s plaguing me needs to stop now. Guess it’s time to plan another weekend in to rest, to do some serious summer cleaning to our linens, drapes and the house in general and to just long for fall weather when I can throw the windows open and release some of the stagnant juju that’s just hanging dubiously in the house.

It has just been a bit rough the past few weeks for me personally. I’m struggling with where I want to be in this healthy lifestyle. I’m struggling with finding a balance between a social life and wanting to be a hermit.  I’m struggling with keeping up with the normal chores and trying to get the yearly decluttering done on the house.

I struggle with the fact that from the moment I wake up, my entire day feels task oriented. It’s just sometimes difficult to have to wake up knowing right off the bat that there are THINGS that NEED to be done. Dogs to be feed and let out, clothes to be picked out, makeup to be worn. And those tasks never stop. At work, there are reports to be run, charges to be checked, documents to be reviewed. Then I go home, and they’re still there. Dinner to be planned, chores to be done, dogs to be feed and paid attention to. I mean, it’s overwhelming sometimes and it makes me feel ridiculously guilty if they’re not getting done. And I don’t even have children so I can’t imagine how you REAL grownups handle it.

I also haven’t had a good night’s sleep in what feels like weeks, maybe months. I remember my mom used to mention that she didn’t want me coming in late because the noise would wake her and I never understood that. Well, now I do. Steve can sleep through anything. I mean, I’ve had actual conversations with him where he wakes up and looks alive and chats with me briefly and then doesn’t remember a word about it the next morning. On the other hand, I wake up at the drop of a hat. Last night, right after I had dozed off, I heard a weird noise that literally scared me awake. You know, where your heart races because you think someone’s in the house and then you spend the next two hours awake staring wide eyed at the ceiling. I grabbed Steve and whispered for him to wake up then felt like an idiot because I realized that it was just Sammy shifting in his bed.

But it’s anything, particularly in that hour after I fall asleep or the one before I’m supposed to wake up. And Baxter is part of the problem. I mean, I seriously love that dog to pieces but he insists on sleeping in the bed with us and he has to be curled up in a ball touching one of us. Lately, it’s been me. The problem is, he gets too hot under the covers, so he spends all night coming out from under the quilt then deciding he needs to snuggle again so he comes up and nuzzles to get under the blanket, which means he’s nosing to move my hand out of the way. This isn’t cute at 3am. And I know we could solve it by not letting him sleep with us but trust me when I say it’s more difficult than it seems it would be.

Also, Sammy is just as bad. He doesn’t sleep with us but he has his own little bed in a corner near Steve. Every time he shuffles around in it, I hear it. Every time he gets out of bed and clicks down the hall for water, I hear it. Every time it sounds remotely like rain or thunder, he climbs into bed and pants loudly. Last night, I swore I heard him licking himself and it was driving me crazy.

I think maybe I need to implement some kind of sensory block out routine. There are nights where I have to wear an eye mask because I can close my eyes and still see the glow from the alarm clock or the blue light on the TV. I don’t know how to do the sound thing – I can try headphones but they don’t stay in through the night. I thought about ear plugs but I’m also nervous about not being able to hear things I need. On one hand, the sensitivity to noise is a pain in the ass but I could see it serving a purpose when it’s needed since Steve just doesn’t hear things. I’m not even sure he’d wake up if the dogs started barking – he certainly doesn’t always hear them when they bark to be let out at six in the morning (whereas I’m instinctively out of bed and shuffling down the hall on autopilot).

I just think it comes down to me needing to get my shit together and restructure things. I’ve been lackluster in my schedule and in my normal daily chores and stuff. Perhaps if I can just get a better handle on them and make more of an effort, everything else will fall into place. At least I can hope so. Life overall is good so I really shouldn’t complain. It’s just I need to get that balance back – the one that lets me go out and have awesome weekends like the one we just had while knowing and being OK with the fact that my home life is together and stuff that needs to be done is done. It doesn’t have to be one hundred percent and I’m fully aware that it’s unrealistic to expect that, but it at least needs to be happening. It’s not happening right now and that’s a bit like the world being off it’s axis.

It is summertime though so perhaps I’m just falling prey to the lazy days and extended fun that comes wrapped into the season. While I can hope fall will bring a renewed sense of accomplishment, I’d like it to happen before then.

Long before then.

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Just Keep Livin’ | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Facebook | Tumblr | Pinterest | Instagram

My first memory is watching my dad take our cat to be buried. Mom and I are sitting on the couch and staring out the large picture window at the front of the house. It’s nightime and my dad is silhouetted in the streetlight, his shoulders hunched as he’s pulling a wagon behind him containing the cat’s body. Mom is crying and I am about three years old.

The first lie I can remember telling is how I got the cut between my eyes. I was using a butter knife to open the paper on top of a peanut butter jar and I didn’t know enough to not point the knife in the direction of my face. It slipped and stabbed me right between my eyebrows. I told my parents that the refrigerator door had stuck and popped open and hit me in the face. Because I was seven, I was too dumb to realize that not only was I not tall enough for the door to make that particular point of contact but the peanut butter jar and knife were on the counter. I got one stitch for that incident and am lucky it missed my eyes.

The first memory I have of being scared to death is when it snowed at our apartment complex. There was a very tall hill at the end of a long parking lot and we decied to tube down the snow covered slope. Kind of like bowling with a really tall starting point and long lane. My parents allowed me to go down by myself and I flew like the wind, turning in circles and bouncing as I hit the pavement. Then, faster than I could realize, I felt a hard thunk and found myself with my torso curled over my lap. I had gotten stuck under the back of my dad’s car and gone in butt first. I couldn’t move, my face was in my lap and all I could see was my dad’s feet running toward me. I was thankfully uninjured and just very sore but all tubing down that hill immediately stopped for me and I was never as fearless again.

My first memory of my parents divorce is coming home from school and being told we were moving to Illinois and that my dad wasn’t coming. My second memory was being called to the principal’s office in Illinois only to turn the corner and see the back of my dad, who I hadn’t seen for six months, standing there casually talking to someone in the office. He had come to take me back to the only place I had never known as home. I don’t have a memory of how we got back to my mom but that’s obviously where we ended up because seeing Dad became more like visiting than it should have.

The first boy I ever kissed was a ginger before “gingers” existed. He was tall and built like a football player. It was Fourth of July, the summer between eighth and ninth grade. He and I had shared an English class and he happened to be friends with the boy one of my best friends liked. Her and I had the house to ourselves so we invited them over. I only remember the tingles that ran up my spine when his hand grazed my bare side, because I was wearing jean shorts and a cut off tshirt. We talked on the phone for most of the summer but there was a lot of pressure from him to do things I refused to do at 14, despite my cut off shirt giving a different impression, so when the school year came around, he ignored me for a cheerleader with a funny name. Did I mention he had a lisp? And that I hated him after that?

The first two guys I actually officially dated broke up with me because I wouldn’t sleep with them. One of them actually did it to have sex with my best friends older sister. She had his kid and hasn’t heard from him since. I laugh everytime I think about that.

The first time I learned to pick my friends wisely was after finding out two people who I considered my bestest friends ever stole from my mom. Stole enough for it to go through the court system. I was punished too because my actions had allowed them the access they needed to steal but only because I trusted that they wouldn’t do something like that. I spent ten hours doing community service and went into my junior year friendless. It took quite awhile before I realized I didn’t need friends like that anyway.

The first boy I loved was the first one I slept with and the first one who really broke my heart. He was in the Army, stationed in North Carolina and I met him during one of the long summers I would spend visiting my dad. We met over AOL because that was all the rage back then and the first night we spoke on the phone, we talked for eight hours. He apparently said all the right things because by the time I went back home, I was in love, not a virgin and in a long distance relationship. This lasted through my senior year of high school until he ended it two weeks before my 18th birthday and four weeks before my senior prom. I was devastated and I moved on by partying pretty hard with my friends and kissing a lot of other boys. Just kissing.

The first time I got drunk was in a hotel room with the boy above. I drank a few glasses of Boone’s Farm strawberry wine and spent an hour jumping on the bed. I found out the next day my body hated alcohol. That has never stopped me.

The only boy I ever broke up with was the only boy who I look back on and wonder what I was thinking. He was older than me by a year but you wouldn’t know it by the way he acted. I worked with him at the sporting goods store and he swore he loved this sixteen year old girl he was dating. He was nineteen. I felt I was this worldly college girl so I figured I could break them up and really, it was easy. Then we actually dated for awhile and he made me uncomfortable with his professions of love only a month in. And he cried. A lot. At everything. And I couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with him. He cried again and I felt nothing because I was so over it. Then he went running back to the high school girl and tried to slander my name across the store but that backfired because everybody thought he was annoying and they loved me.

The first time I was terrified of being alone was the first night I spent by myself in my very own, very first, 500-square foot apartment. My parents had moved to South Carolina and I had no one left in Philadelphia except for my boyfriend who couldn’t spend every night at my place, no matter how much I tried to convince him otherwise. I remember laying in my bed in the absolute stillness realizing that I was truly on my own, completely responsible for myself and that was not as awesome as I had thought it would be when I was screaming at my parents about how I couldn’t wait to move out.

The first time I got over that was every day after when I realized I could watch what I wanted, stay out as late as I desired and eat ice cream for breakfast while not wearing any pants.

The last time I felt like a real grown up was when I had to struggle with losing someone who I had thought was immortal. Of course, I didn’t really believe immortality existed but this person was such an integral part of my life that I couldn’t imagine it without him. I never thought I’d have to be the calm one, the strong one, the stoic one. But others around me were falling apart and it wasn’t a time for me to lose it. That was saved for when I was alone, when I could really let my heart break and not have to worry about making the other ones who were far too fragile pick up the pieces. And I realized that’s part of being an adult, recognizing when it’s a good time to collapse and when you have to hold your shit together, either for the sake of yourself or the sake of others.

The last man I fell in love with is the only man I never thought I’d be serious with. But life has a funny way of working out and I found myself elated to say hello only hours after I thought I had said goodbye for good. The last man I fell in love with is the only man who has followed me twelve hours from his home to make a new one with me. He is the only one who has stood by me through the good, stood with me through the bad and stood up for me when I couldn’t stand for myself. He is the leader of our Wolfpack, my copilot in life and the last person I’d ever thought I’d call husband.

He is the last of everything and the first of many things.

I remember every time I have second guessed my firsts and questioned my lasts. It just seems to be part of the human condition, always wondering if the choices we make are the right ones, the best ones, the ones that will make us into the type of adults that we want to be.

If you had asked me fifteen years ago what I would be doing with my life, I most certainly would not have told you it would be remotely like what it is now. But fifteen years ago, I didn’t truly know what living was. I never thought it would be in the laughter of friends, in the solitude of sitting on a pier and watching the breeze roll over the water. I never imagined that living was about the quiet moments with the last man I loved or the bositerous ones with family. It was always about the things I would have and not the people I loved.

There’s a first for everything. There’s not always a last. The value is learning from these moments and allowing them to teach you lessons and guide you in the right direction. As long as you’re doing this, there’s never a wrong decision, just a different path. And sometimes, getting lost is the best way to find what you didn’t know you were looking for. Sometimes, finding a new path takes you in the direction you were always meant to be.

So here’s to the first, the last and the in-betweens. May they carry you on the right path as they have done me.

Inspired by this article.

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Here’s to the Firsts | Read: 2 comments Elsewhere: Twitter | Facebook | Tumblr | Pinterest | Instagram

That’s not to say I didn’t get anything done. Because I did accomplish things.

Friday night I came home with no other intention than diving into dinner (wraps with low-sodium turkey and ham, ultra thin provolone, lettuce, tomato and mustard – my new favorite go-to meal) and a bottle of wine and playing Skyrim. I did exactly this. Completely skipped exercising (I am horrible at this lately), done with dinner by six and had the XBox booted by six-thirty. I spent the rest of the night killing dragons and killing a bottle of wine.

Baxter helped. Or watched. Whatever you want to call it.

On Saturday, Steve went fishing so I decided if I was going to stay at home, I was going to at least be productive and start clearing out some of the clutter that had accumulated. I started with the guest closet, which mostly holds our winter clothes, extra blankets and suitcases and travel stuff.  Normally, I go full force and make the project bigger than it is but this time I took it slow.

I did find this in the closet and if you follow me on Instagram (username: kallure) you’ll know that I questioned whether everyone has one of these in their closet.

That is a full-length, fully functional silver lame cape. My grandmother made it for when I was in the eighth grade. At the time, I was exploring Pagan religions and figured I was going to wear it for rituals. And I have never been a boring person so I needed it to have some pizzazz, hence the silver. But it ended up being used a Halloween costume and has been at the back of my closet ever since. I can’t bring myself to get rid of it because my Grandma made it and because you know, there might be a day when I need it. I do wish I’d had her make it in a more conservative fabric – maybe crushed velvet or something. Then I’d at least not stick out so much and could actually, maybe get away with wearing it out in public.

Maybe not. But a girl can dream.

I did laundry this weekend too, which I hate. But here’s what I love. Watching my husband make the bed around the dog, who just sits and waits for you to make up his bed. Yes, I admit, the dog sleeps with us every night, under the covers, curled right up next to me. It’s annoying as shit half the time but he’s too adorable for me to kick him out. Plus, unlike Sammy, he’s able to just jump up on our bed so it’s not like we can the pull the stairs away and he can’t get up. Yes, there are stairs for my dog to get into bed. If there weren’t, he would sit on the ground and whine at three in the morning when he’s scared of the thunderstorms and can’t get up into bed.

I didn’t get much else done on Saturday because Steve talked me into playing  Skyrim and I could help it. I was close to finishing the main quest for Dawnguard so I had to. It’s like an addiction. I swear, I love the hell out of that game.

I spent the rest of the weekend going through the office. I’m donating 90% of my printed book collection because I just can’t justify keeping them anymore. I hate clutter and all these were doing was collecting dust on my shelves and I knew if I ever picked them up again, I had electronic copies. And I’m sorry, I’m just never going to be one of those people who thinks printed books are better than electronic books. I love my Nook and the convenience of being able to carry my entire library around on one device. The stories are the same whether they’re on a screen or in a binding and I’ve come to terms with that.

Steve is super happy too because he won’t have to move these ever again. At least not once I get him to take them to be donated.

There was more  Skyrim playing, some Battlefield on Steve’s part while I surfed the Internet, more laundry and finishing up Season 3 of Breaking Bad. Thank god season 5 is starting on Sunday because AMC is playing catch up and I’ve set the DVR to record all of season 4 so now we don’t have to go trolling the internet for it.

This is how Baxter lets me surf the Internet. Please note that he climbed OVER the laptop and is sitting on my chest. He does not give any f*cks about the computer in my lap!

I plan on this week being productive and fairly awesome. I’m going to start exercising regularly (hoping! come on self, you can do it!!!) and plan to continue going through the various clutter holes in my house. Maybe a Farmer’s market visit on Saturday and two cookouts this coming weekend.

Finally, here’s a reason I love the Snapseed app on my phone. Look at how awesome it made this picture of my neighbor’s house. Very cool looking! You should definitely check it out.

Please note: I took this picture to illustrate how nicely the house cleans up. The previous neighbors didn’t mow the lawn or do any outside work for the two years they lived there. When they were EVICTED last month, those bushes had climbed above the windows. I had forgotten what the house even looked like.

Also, I want to steal that palm tree and put it in my yard.

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: How Was Your Weekend? | Read: One comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Facebook | Tumblr | Pinterest | Instagram

We’re a little late to this party but Steve and I have been absolutely hooked on Breaking Bad. All of our friends were fans and we had missed the first season so it was difficult for us to initially get into it, knowing the time we’d have to invest to catch up. And we were absolutely correct on the time it would but incorrect in assuming it wouldn’t be worth the investment. This show is absolutely amazing! We have made it through seasons one, two and are halfway through three in a little under two weeks. There are nights we will watch five or six episodes and at 47 minutes a piece on Netflix, that’s still a hefty time commitment. But we’ll be like, “One more episode” then it will end on a cliffhanger and we’re like, “We’ve got to know what’s going on!” I will say, it is really bleak and depressing to watch. Like, not in an awful way but in a way where I’m wondering how I’m finding such pleasure in a show that never seems to have a happy ending. Also, how am I enjoying  this when every minute, I want to punch Skylar in her big fat meddling nosy frowny face. I wish she would die but I’ve seen previews for season 5 and she’s still there so that makes me sad. So hopefully we’ll be able to catch up before the fifth season premieres in ten days. Though I’m not sure if I could handle not being able to immediately start the next episode after the kind of cliffhangers they have.

Playing …

Dawnguard, the new expansion pack to Skyrim. Not only does it give a happy little list makers like me even more quests to check off in my journal but I get to add Vampire Lord to my Dragonborn resume (which also include Arch-Mage of the College of Winterhold, leader of the Companions, Thane of Whiterun, Falkreath, Solitude and Markarth, and Leader of the Thieves’ Guild). I’ve always played the game a bit straight and narrow so it’s nice to visit the dark side and vamp out every once awhile, especially because I can raise people from the dead to fight for me and drain their life force. I’m just not quite sure how I feel at the moment about not being able to go out in the sunlight.

Reading …

I’d like to say that I’ve  been indulging in my list of books gathering dust on my Nook but as you can tell from above, most of my free time is being consumed by TV and video games, an all too often occurrence these days. But I have a huge list of want to reads stacked and really hope to fulfill my goal of at least getting through three of them in July. That can’t be too hard, right? That’s a little more than a book a week.

Planning …

A trip to North Carolina to meet my brand new niece, Shylynn, who was born on June 26. My sister got lucky because she had traveled down for our party thinking she had about two weeks left until she was due. She traveled the five hours home on Sunday and that Tuesday, Shy had made her appearance. Apparently my sister partied the baby out of her! Regardless, I have yet to meet the little cutie and can’t wait to hold her and cuddle with her. Oh, and see my sister and family too! J

Working On …

Staying active and eating healthy. I know I will constantly struggle with this for the rest of my life. The lazy person inside me just does not care about what I eat and does not want to get up and move because sitting on the couch with an entire bottle of wine is so much more enjoyable than busting my ass working out and eating plain chicken and green vegetables for lunch. I have kept a nice and steady progress since I started this change in January and .I know if I set my mind to it, I could be making more progressive strides. But there are just days where I go home and I’m like dreading working out and I know there will never be a time where I’m like, “Yes! I get to be out of breath and sweat. Sign me up!” But I always have to remind myself that I feel awesome when I’m done. And I am finding amazing new foods that I like by expanding my horizons and trying not to each so much crap. The only drawback to that is that when I do decide to indulge, my body hates me because I’ve been feeding it the healthy stuff for so long that it reacts like a kid who you give 10 cans of soda to and feels awesome then crashes hard.

Needing …

Another long vacation with just my husband. Our time that we spent in Gatlinburg last October was nothing short of amazing, with the exception of when I sprained my ankle and we had to cancel a few activities. The cabin we stayed in was so cute and cozy and secluded and every part of me wants to get on the ball and schedule another week there in October. I will take the mountains in the Fall over any day at the beach. And now that we know what we prefer to see in town, it will be much easier and we won’t feel like we have to fit everything in. Plus, we bought these awesome preservers and goodies from Smoky Mountain Farms (Apple Cinnamon BBQ, y’all!) and now that we’ve run out, we need to replenish our supply.

Enjoying …

Summertime with our great group of friends! It has been hot as Hades here but we’ve been able to enjoy ourselves nonetheless. We had a nice little pool party on Wednesday with our close group of friends and as always, there was laughter and jokes and delicious food and sweet, sweet bitch beer and things that go boom. Steve and I were able to have a nice quiet date day where we had breakfast at IHOP and ran some errands and saw Ted. My girlfriends and I got together on the premiere night to see Magic Mike. We had yummy burgers and TATER TOTS(!) at a local joint and snuck Bud Light lime-a-ritas into the theater and yelled and catcalled obnoxiously at the screen then went out for drinks and a bitchfest afterwards. We’ve been out boating and visited the swamp with our family. We’ve had cook outs at home and partied at sunset. Overall, it’s been a great summer so far and there’s still over half of it left. I can only imagine that it’s going to be just as awesome!

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Currently … | Read: 2 comments Elsewhere: Twitter | Facebook | Tumblr | Pinterest | Instagram