kangaekomu

LMAO

2009-12-25T14:30:00.000-08:00

I hopped out of the shower moments ago to get a razor out of the linen closet. When I couldn't find one I asked my mom to help me. She came in and could not find on either, so she pulled out my father's shaving kit and handed me a razor from it. I promptly replied, "But that's a BOY razor mom." Before she could respond, my father yells from the other room, "Don't worry. It'll close it's eyes." MLIA

Today I was at an H1N1 vaccination clinic getting the shot. As I was waiting the fifteen minutes there, I saw a group of people who had gotten the shot start twitching, making odd groaning noises and then walk out with their arms infront like they were zombies. I love this country. MLIA

Today, I was drinking a CapriSun. When I was done, I blew the pouch up and stepped on it. Immediately after, my brother ran into the room, threw a pillow at me and yelled "RESPECT THE POUCH, RESPECT IT" MLIA.

Today, I remembered talking about being what kindergarten was like with my friend. I said I remembered snack time. She said she remembered sitting around a table and pretending to be computer hackers with her friends. She was serious. I didn't even know what a computer hacker was in kindergarten. MLIA.
~ haha we pretended we were vampires, I had Twilight in my blood before it was even written....... and now the only reason I watch it is shirtless scenes with Taylor Lautner... sigh the irony
we made wish lists with vampire gear we would need to be real vampires. A cape, vampire shoes (yes, the shoes were always on the list), and of course fangs. I don't remember what else was on there.... maybe I should find it.

Today I woke up at 2am to my brother screaming at his laptop "I DON'T CARE IF THERE IS A VELOCIRAPTOR BEHIND YOU, FIND THE LOST TREASURE TINKERBELL". I should play computer games more often MLIA

Today, I asked my 9 year old sister what imperviousness meant. To my surprise, she answered correctly. I asked her how she knew and she said: "Impervio is the spell Hermione uses in Harry Potter to make his glasses waterproof!". MLIA

Today, my brother came out of his room for the first time in 7 hours with a puzzled expression on his face. He said he was playing a computer game when a message popped up saying "You have been playing this game for 7 hours, go for a run". I couldn't stop laughing. MLIA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=274DJMrLyKA&feature=player_embedded

somehow I realized I should do something

2009-05-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

So here I am. Watching YouTube videos (btw, why is YouTube not in google spell check yet? It's getting the red squigglies . Same with google. and squigglies. ah. life is ironic) and I realized : All those people that are extremely popular on youtube.... (OH! youtube in all lower case doesn't get a squiggly) ?
Why can't I have a life like them? I don't mean like I want to copy their lives, but just umm... having a LIFE! that's what I want.

After my recent breakup I've really been feeling the void. Yeah man. Not that the relationship was filling it (ahem ahem) but when you have something to think about all the time (neglectant boyfriends, crushes, stuff like that) your time is pretty much occupied. And it's not like I don't do other stuff... I read a lot, I write a lot, I go running, ... ah who am I kidding.
I have no life, besides maybe school and the aforementioned stuff.

Lately I've really felt the need to get out there and spend time with some new people, in some new places. I just want to put myself out there. I want to have a hobby besides just writing, which is my passion and blah blah blah but seeing that I never finish any of my stories and all that I write aside from that are diary-esque semi-obscure entries or emo poems about not being loved enough it's not really a ... share-able hobby.
I want to the world to see dammit.
!
So I've decided to get off my ass and do stuff.
Maybe try and get this blog somewhere. Finally write that book I've been planning to write. Maybe even make some youtube vids.

I just need to do SOMETHING other than school.

That's it yo.
I'm out
fo sho
(I don't know what I'm trying to do)
-Sui

update update...: I'd like to meet everyone thrice, life goals, hilarity, failure

2009-03-15T12:27:00.001-07:00

my goal in life is to be funny.
Now, most people are going to tell me that that's a fucked up goal and start listing all the things that are wrong with it, but I'm convinced that it's great, so don't even start.
Sensibility doesn't seem a sensible option in view of the world we live in. Just saying...

Have you ever heard of the saying that you meet everyone twice in life?
Well, I was thinking about that and I've come to the conclusion that twice just doesn't cut it for me.
The first time you meet someone you're like WOW ! I'm meeting someone new! and you get so lost in that thought that you don't even get to know the person. The second time you're like WOW! I've met you before! And then you get lost in that thought as well and really you still haven't made any sort of meaningful connection.
And that is where my brilliant plan comes in! Why not meet everyone thrice in life? When you've met someone three times you're already of the initial awe and you can be like: Oh, I know that person - i've met them twice already. Let's actually have a meaningful conversation!

HaH! I have revolutionized life.

Failure. Yesterday when I massively failed at our performance of Creep (by Radiohead) at Shanna's birthday party, I felt like I'd completely lost all respect of all of human kind. But later on I had this thought: Of course you could be perfect all the time. But what would be the fun in that? There would be no ridges, no edges, no bruises to my personality. Perfect = BORING! and also hard to relate to.
Chaos = me. Perfection is not = to chaos.
see? Math saved the day once more

-Sui

post marathon #1: My obsession with tea bowls

2009-02-17T10:02:00.000-08:00

Sigh... I've always had a thing for beautiful pottery but since I finished The Tea House Fire by Ellis Avery it's been worse worse worse (or should I say better better better? XD)........

I can't take my eyes off of tea bowls anymore!

Here are some of my favorites (all results of hours of etsy musings)

This stack of beauties is by RichardJohnson ... whose work I just <3 in general. But these teabowls have that perfect balance of blue and brown that is only second to Black and Navy Blue on my list of beautiful color combinations. I love love love it!

I stared at this bowl by almapottery for probably half an hour when I first found it, until I decided to pinch myself and figured out that no, I was not dreaming. Brown and Blue again... I think I'm seeing a trend :)

haha there were many more, but I shall not bore you any longer.

One more thing: I'm really tempted to make some felt tea things (patterns here check 'em out they're SO cute) for my cousins.... hmmm....

So much for the etsies.... wait for the next wave of marathon posts (which hopefully will contain some sort of substancial)

<3
-Sui

I have so much to tell you about!

2009-02-17T09:34:00.000-08:00

Busy busy bee Sui has been neglecting this wonderful blog in exchange for school work (the IB is treating me harshly) however, mid-winter break is here and I shall unleash all my pent up ideas in an unabridged and tidal-wave-esque manner.

So be prepared for a sort of post-marathon within the next few days. (or hours) we'll see how it goes.

I can't believe I haven' posted since New Years! Argh... time flies... it really does.
These days especially, I wish I could just yell STOP!!!! from time to time and take a moment to breathe and to appreciate what I have and what's around me.

Of course I don't neeeed to have time stop for that and I do sometimes close my eyes and think of all the lovely people and things in my life. The problem is just that time goes on while I do that and with my eyes closed I miss exactly what I'm appreciating at that moment. So my only recourse is to appreciate with my eyes open, which gets cumbersome for someone with a slight tendency towards distraction (slight?? *menacing laughs in the background*) .
*sigh* life is hard :P

<3
-Sui

PS:. Currently reading The Stranger by Albert Camus (transl. by Matthew Ward). It's for school, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Partly for it's absolutely adorable French-ness (despite translation into english and despite the fact that the subject matter is everything but adorable... I just can't help but smirk at the brusque and francais way of speech Camus uses) but also, of course, for its literary brilliance.

Happy 2009

2009-01-02T20:04:00.000-08:00

It's a new year!
Although I'll probably continue to forget that until at least April.

Resolution wise, it's looking pretty grim in terms of the usual ' I will loose 30 pounds' and ' I will save money' stuff.

For me it's more like: Get in no more accidents, get more sleep, be a better student ( oh gosh, a generic one did slip in there!) , it's ok to eat too much food as long as you remember to exercise instead of watching dramas online..... stuff like that......

I know this year'll be great :)
What else can it be?

-Sui

sitting it out

2008-12-21T16:23:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt like everything is just working against you?
Like the whole world is snickering in your face with heaps and heaps of misfortune?
Have you ever sat in a corner, hugging your legs, your eyes pinched shut just wishing, wishing, that it could all just be ok?

Well that's what I feel like. Right now.

And everything was going to be ok.
I was going to have the most amazing christmas break yet.

But then wednesday happened. Oh how I detest Wednesdays.
The day itself not so much... but it seems that everything bad that happens to me always happens on a wednesday.

They say if you're a kind person and you give kindness to other people, you will get kindness in return.
But that's not how life works.
You give and give and give and all they do is take, take, take. And in the end you sit there with nothing. Nothing but the knowledge that all the things you love are destroyed.

I keep telling myself that, as always, it's just a phase. It will pass and then I'll be happy again.
I know that's true. But I haven't lived long enough to get comfort from the notion.
To me every day that I have to endure lingers on and on and on and on...

and then I get completely sugar high and go crazy
just to make myself forget.
what can I say?
it works..........

*frantically laughing *
-Sui

the visa blues

2008-12-20T13:48:00.000-08:00

So this morning at breakfast my dad declared: we're going to have to talk about what will happen in the next few years.

AS IF WE DON'T DO THAT ALMOST EVERY @$()_%(# DAY ALREADY!

This ensued in an outburst from my mother, father and brother, who decisively repeated everything that has ever been said on the subject.

I hate it when things that have pretty much come to a conclusion (or that don't really have a conclusion yet) are discussed over and over.

To me, it seems overkill - a waste of my time.

So I said nothing, and hoped they'd be done soon.

But then dad started throwing out ideas of what would happen if he quit his job (partially) to stay here with me for another year so I can finish high school.

I appreciate the gesture, but to be honest, I'd rather stay here by myself than have my dad give up his job in such a difficult economic climate.
To be honest, I'd just rather stay here by myself. I can tell my dad can't quite deal with the fact yet that I will be moving out within the next two years.

What does he expect? That I'll stay here forever?

I love my family.
But I can't wait to leave.

Is that heartless?
I don't know. I don't think so. Everybody wants a life of their own. And as long as I'm with my parents I can't have that.

It's selfish, yes. But it's not like I'll never see them again.

-Sui

worries worries and maybe I'm just being a bit sensitive...

2008-12-16T15:54:00.000-08:00

So my math midterm is tomorrow and instead of typing this I should probably be studying my butt of... but procrastination is very alluring and I only have half a butt left from studying for my chem midterm (which was today and went well! Wh00t!) all of sunday and yesterday......... so yeah I figured I better take it easy on the butt reduction. I do need a bit of it! Otherwise sitting will become rather uncomfortable

And since I haven't posted in a while I decided to vent a little, which I need. Desperately.
Just note that this IS in fact a rant and I'm a bit cranky lately, so don't be so appalled at what you will read next just know that I have to put up with a lot of crap lately and I need to bitch about something. And this something just happens to be drama.

yesh... drama.

As you can probably imagine, drama people are quite flamboyant. And seeing as I'm quite flamboyant as well, you'd think I'd fit right in. But you're WRONG. Yes, wrong. Because, to be blatantly and rudely honest, so much flamboyancy at once gets on my f-ing nerves. There you have it.

And as much as I love the drama crowd on most days, other days (particularly todays) I just really want to yell: SHUT THE ... UP!!!

But then I remember what lovely, kind and over the top people they are and I keep myself in check.

Well, even with that in mind it gets hard sometimes.

I guess I'm not flamboyant enough. Who gives a ...... (geez I'm swearin' a lot today)

I like drama. I like it for what it could be.
I'm not going to extrapolate on that, but that's the truth.
I love it for what it could be, not what it is. (hah! I'm being blunt!) And I will love it for what it will be to me in years to come.

There you have it - packaged neatly in a box of vague statements that I don't even really understand myself.

Seriously. In the state that I'm in I could rant about that for a very long time. But I will spare you :) and instead distract myself by thinking of a certain shade of blue <3 which I can't seem to forget about anyway and could rant about for just as long

<3
-Sui

2008-12-06T20:29:00.001-08:00

today i saw a glimpse of me
who I want to be, that is
and I wanted to grab that vision and run away with it
implant it into my soul
but it faded quickly into a hazy image
as I jumped up and attempted to give it a try

how could I expect that I would get there the easy way?

how could I expect to get around the work?

I couldn't
but I'm kind of disgusted by who I want to be
because I can't be who I want to be well
if that makes sense
it seems fake right now
like I'm trying too hard

because who I want to be is not me

and then I realized I just want to be me

I'm floating

2008-12-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

I'm floating now.
I don't know what to do.
I've given up contempt and sadness.
What's the use of being unhappy of making yourself go through the burning fire, when in the end, the longing remains?

If I could hug you just once I'd be the happiest girl in the entire world.

Why does my love have to be so close, yet too far for me to grasp?

hm...

2008-12-03T19:20:00.000-08:00

so I was reading the comics from asofterworld today.
they are so quirky, so inspiring, and most important of all true.
I feel like, until I can come up with things like that, I cannot deem myself a writer.

It's just like the post secret secrets that some people come up with.
They're written by normal people, like you and me. Yet in a few simple words they manage to say all there is to say.

I try to come up with post-secrets of my own.
I never write them down. They're all in my head, because i feel that if I write them down it will have to be on a postcard. And I will send it to post secret.
It's on my list of things to do.

But then I came up with something good for our script in lit. We are making a movie that emulates Mishima's style in The Sailor that fell from grace with the sea...

Our thesis is: Vanity leads to loneliness

It's about three sisters who forget how lucky they are to have each other because they are so focused on their careers.

Here's the short passage I came up with.
I'm kind of proud of it.

They say blood runs thicker than water. But we often forget that even blood can be diluted - and vanity is a powerful solvent....

Doesn't that just run a chill down your spine?

Ok, well I should stop bragging about myself.

But it's exactly what I mean, where I want to get in terms of writing: being able to express something with just a few well-stated words.
Meaning gets lost so easily in lengthy descriptions.

LOVE
-Sui

get out of my biznatch puhleaze

2008-11-25T20:12:00.000-08:00

It sucks being avoided by someone you really want to be around.
Even when you knew it was going to happen eventually.
It seems the more you want to be around that person the more obnoxious you get and the more they want to run away from you (and do run away from you)

What does this lead me to conclude?

... I don't really know.

Maybe I should stop being obnoxious? I don't feel like I'm obnoxious. It's such a paradox, because when I'm doing exactly what I'm "supposed" to do I get exactly the opposite effect of what I want... :(
but when I do what I'm not "supposed" to do there's no possibility to get what I want.
>.< argh

So when faced with this paradox I decided the only course of action was yet another personality building / self-discovery activity. (My thinking being that I might as well improve myself if not figure out what the problem is)

It is common knowledge that we are very much defined by the things we love to do. Well, they don't define us but they are probably some of the most important clues on the way to self-discovery. (can you tell I do this a lot ? SO pathetic)
So I've decided to make a list of the things I truly love/that I'm willing to spend my time on:

Cooking (especially Asian food)
Baking (cakes!)
Asian culture
Asian language
Dramas
Movies
Directing
Drama
Reading
Writing
Reading blogs
doodling on things I shouldn't be drawing on
music
chemistry
speculating about things and people
making up stories (which pretty much ties in with the previous point as most of my speculations end in some sort of wild and unrealistic imagination unless I really focus and stay on task in which case I'm awesome at speculating)
Going out for runs through my neighborhood but only when I know I won't meet or see anyone
Eating
Being by myself

These are in order of how I thought of them. Maybe I should make a list of things that I hate or am scared of...
Next post
-Sui

Ima eat you

2008-11-23T18:30:00.000-08:00

I love food. I love cooking I love eating. I love seeing food and reading about it. Learning new ways to prepare things etc. Even my favorite asian dramas are all about food XD
The thing is though.. as I'm sitting on my lazy but reading articles on thefoodpornographer.com (one of my favorites if not my favorite food blog of all times) I'm painstakingly reminded of my expanding waistline - a byproduct of reading too many food blogs instead of exercising like a good girl should :P

sigh

and homework... I wish I could start to be a non-procrastinator but it appears the doors to that world have rather thick chains holding them shut. X__X I shall be let in eventually though I hope... On that note I shall depart... it is lit homework time...

love y'alls

-Sui

PS:
The play went wonderfully ... and it deserves a full-fledged post all to itself. Which it shall get as soon as I can get to it.

i have nothing meaningful to say. as usual. but that won't stop me from talking!

2008-10-15T15:05:00.000-07:00

That little box on facebook that says "what are you doing right now?" really bothers me. Why?
Because despite staring at it for a full ten minutes I still can't come up with anything to write into it.
Yes, I could write into it what I'm actually doing. But then i would feel obliged to change it every time I start doing something else. And that would just end badly. Very badly.

Sui's facebook page:

... is breathing in
6:09 pm
... is breathing out
6:09 pm
... is breathing in
6:10 pm
... is breathing out
6:10 pm
... is breathing in
6:10 pm
... is breathing out
6:10 pm
... is breathing in
6:10 pm
... is breathing out
6:11 pm
etc. etc....

do you see what I mean?

yeah....

so random question of the day:
What's worse?

Knowing something is over and done and not being able to deal with it
Not realizing something's over and thus obviously not even thinking about dealing with it
Knowing something is over but pretending it's not
Thinking something's over when it's not
something being over even though it hasn't really even started
Knowing something will be over if one doesn't do something about it , yet being unable to do something to stop it from being over and just having to watch it die away.
All of the above.....

-Sui

sighz ... yes, I belong to that annoying group of people that loves adding zs to the ends of words (sorry , I know this post is lame)

2008-10-13T17:01:00.000-07:00

You know that perfect girl? The one that seems to have everything? The perfect smile, great humor and brains too? Yeah, the one that just makes you feel like crap every time you see her because your self esteem just drops right through the floor - falling and falling until it ends up somewhere in space and trying to recover just starts to seem like a rather stupid idea because living without it is just easier than getting it back every time. Yeah, her. I'm sure you know someone like that.
They're the ones that unintentionally steal the guy you like, just because they're the better option and they can't help it. The ones that you hate because you can't help but love them. There doesn't seem to be a crack in their perfect surface. Nothing that could bring them down back to good ol' earth because they're somewhere floating on perfection cloud.....
sigh. yes. I am ranting. venting. raving. whatever.
it's just that it's so hard to deal with that sometimes. Here I am with all my flaws and lack of ... well... just about everything desirable and I'm just running around frantically - panicking.
Because when you have a perfect girl as an opponent... *laughs cynically*... you're up for a tough fight.
The thing is that I don't trust perfect people.
hehe we all have dirty dirty secrets :P

sigh... but I'm determined to win this one ^^
(don't worry- I play it nice)

Argh the issues we have

Sorry about the pep talk post
-Sui

slap happy

2008-10-11T12:06:00.000-07:00

Seeing you at the library today just made my day :)
I hope you found a place to sit an study without being stalked by that girl XD

I have a feeling things will get better from now on ^^

Love
-Sui

day three... (yup we're still counting) , mothers and some facebook stalk-age

2008-10-08T16:25:00.000-07:00

I have to say Day three of self-appreciation week was a blatant failure.
I wasn't very self appreciating at all........
I'm hoping tomorrow will be better. A lot better... because today we pretty much went into the negatives.
Self-esteem wise at least.......

So I had a car accident a couple weeks ago. It wasn't my fault at all, but somehow it seems if you've had an accident as a driver this sign hangs above your head that reads: Caution : this person has gotten themselves into an accident.
And it appears that even though it wasn't even my fault, now my friend's mother thinks I'm a bad driver and doesn't want her driving with me when it's me driving. (my friend is in my carpool)
I was just kind of like : oh ... well, way to build up my selfesteem lady!
And although I find it perfectly understandable that she, as a mother, doesn't want her child driving with someone who got her child into a car accident before, I find it unreasonable too.
I don't think it matters who's driving. It could be my mom, it could be me, it could be the world's best driver, it could be her - accidents just happen sometimes and it doesn't matter who's in the driver's seat.
She told me that I should wait a while until I drive myself for the carpool again.....but that I should definitely start driving again , just not with other people in the car.
I don't really know how that's supposed to help, but I was like ok, w/e we'll see.....
I didn't know she was this serious....
but you know, mothers worry a lot more than us regular people do so I understand.
I just thought it was ironic because apparently she got into an accident of much the same nature just a couple months before me. (why is she driving us???)

I shouldn't be mean about it though. I'm not mean about it. I'm just a little upset.
But I'm really really glad they told me upfront what the deal was because that takes guts.
Some people would just make up excuses to drive themselves or something, but they were honest about it and I admire them for that.

I still <3 them tho, they're a cool family ^^

but sometimes people just have slight disagreements....

on to the next, (slightly) less depressing subject....
my life as a facebook stalker.

hold up - that' s just as depressing XD
haha but a lot more funny (my bad humor has reached new heights)

yes. I am a facebook stalker. If you now unfriend me because you're afraid I will spend copious amounts of time looking at your pictures I don't blame you.
Luckily I'm not a pedophile or anything... well I couldn't really be one, I'm not old enough anyways I think
but I do spend a lot of time looking at peoples pictures.
A LOT
facebook encourages it though. it's like hey look! this person added new pictures! go look at them!
and then of course I do.
because I have ocd and no control over myself anyway.

so maybe stalking isn't really the right term. It's not like I spam their walls with myriads of messages conveying my undying love for them, nor do I have a specific stalkee. I just stalk everybody.
I dunno, looking at people's pictures wouldn't really be considered stalking now would it?
who knows.

but yeah, on that note, friending people- I think it's awkward. Do you think it's awkward?
I always feel like it's hard to define awkwardness on the internet, but especially when it comes to friending people on facebook I'm never really quite sure whether it's the right thing to do.
You ask yourself: do I really know this person well enough to friend them? I mean some people just friend EVERYBODY and don't even care... but I feel like there should be guidelines as to how much you need to know a person to friend them.
What will they think when they see I requested them to be my friend on facebook?
what if they reject me?
argh!
so it takes me like a week to decide to friend someone. well, unless I do know them very well.

Right now I'm debating whether to friend someone actually. This one is a tough one, there's a BIG BIG chance they might just think I'm a creeper.

See, some people would be like "oh, but who cares if people think I'm a creeper. It's the internet!" in my situation. But, I care, ok?
Because I don't want to be seeing that person in real, non-virtual land and having them give me that look like: Oh! it's her.. .that creepy girl from facebook! Quickly! Run away!

sigh....
the world is a tough neighborhood.
-Sui

Day 2 update and car names

2008-10-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is indeed day two of self appreciation week.
And I have to say, it's going pretty well for me !

Today I finally decided on a name for my car! It is now officially called Otto.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (an homage to the bobble-head buffalo in my car) came in close second, but come on... Otto just pwns!
Just for clarification: Otto is not an allusion to Otto von Bismarck. I got asked that twice today (only people at my school would come up with something like that T_T)
It's a play on the word automobile or auto, because Otto and Auto sound very similar when said out loud. Yes. I am witty. Well not that witty, my friend Jon helped me come up with it.
XD I will cite him in my sources.

-Sui

Selfappreciation week

2008-10-06T17:57:00.000-07:00

So in order to get myself out of the depression I've been feeling for the past weeks (due to reasons that don't really need to be discussed, because if I did they'll just make it worse) I have officially designated this week to be Self-Appreciation Week.
What that means I really don't know.
It just has a rather cheerful sound to it - this kind of 'I'm going to be my best and love myself' ring that just instantaneously perks up your spirit.

I know, I know, Self-Appreciation is such a blob of a word - much like plasma (I know I'm a geek) with no measurable volume or mass. It could mean ANYTHING!

Still, that makes it rather versatile too. I tried it out today and found that it brightens my mood considerably to tell myself in just about any situation : " Remember now, it's self-appreciation week."
I realize this is sad. It strongly reminds me of Lisa Nova's affirmation girl on YouTube...
check it out:

Ah, well, it's not come to that yet XD
I'm just self-appreciating.
there's nothing wrong with that :P

right?

hm....
-Sui

PS:
Did I cite my sources properly for the video??? argh, my school has hammered MLA into our brains so much that I can't publish this until I know....

Well, I won't go as far as putting this into MLA formatting, but the video is by Lisa Nova on youtube. Check out her Channel at http://www.youtube.com/lisanova
She's one of my faves on youtube.
Yes. I just used the word faves.
"refuse me, hate me, torture me to death!"
oh and yes. I just quoted Shakespeare. :P

PPS:
The pictures of my blue pants probably won't be up until a while, because my camera ran out of battery just when I tried to load them up and I'm too lazy to charge the battery, so it'll be a while until I get to that.
I think I might designate a post to my pants, once I do upload the pics... they're quite awesome and make for a good conversation piece if I do say so my self

PPPS:
Enough of the PSs
I'm done.
Sui has left the building... :D (get it ? get it? * sigh * how I love allusions )

flu anyone? I'll give it to you for free !

2008-10-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

argh. it's flu season again X_X
of course I thought I would be spared by it... but fate decided to curb my optimism and gave me an extra large dose of it. I'm actually surprised I can still lift my fingers to type this.

But what can I do? Blogging is a more powerful disease than the flu ...

Mainly it's my fault though. If I hadn't been out until midnight last night and tended to my tingling throat, my throat might have not decided to take revenge and expand the tingling into a dryness about 10 times the magnitude of that of the Sahara desert T_T
I have nothing to say to defend myself. Going to the game with my best friend just took precedence over my health XD

So now I'm sitting here all congested and wondering what the... I should do.
See that's what I don't like about being sick... there's NOTHING to do!
Normally, if I had a day off and the house all to myself I'd watch movies or tv, cook myself something nice, read, get a head start on homework or a project, work on my writing etc etc..... but when I'm sick ALL of those things just make my headache increase into catastrophic proportions.
So there's nothing to do.
Even doing this is giving me a headache X_X but I just can't just not do anything... even when I'm sick
well, that is, I already slept until 2 pm....... so that option is gone now and I really really have nothing left....

So what I actually wanted to talk about is the dream I dreamed last night.
It's kind of a big deal for me, because I don't really dream a lot.
Well... I mostly just don't realize that I'm dreaming because apparently humans always dream. When I do dream ( or realize that I'm dreaming ) I remember it pretty vividly though and for almost the entire day afterwards (sometimes even longer) so I have lots of time to think about them.
My dreams aren't continuous stories. They are small snippets of stories, images sounds, 'clips' of memory mostly. They're also never super psychedelic or odd. They're all plausible stories... well not 100 % but they're things that technically could happen in real life. It's never from my point of view, always from an outside observer's - kind of like a movie. Still, my dreams have a strong tie to reality, I never meet strange mystical creatures or magicians or anything like that.
I don't actually remember all of the dream I dreamed last night, I'm sure there's more to it, but there are two 'scenes' I remember unbelievably vividly.
In one, my best friend E. and I jump up & down the bleachers at T. High. like we did yesterday and I see this flash of memory from about 5 minutes before we did that where this guy looks over to me from about 3 rows down and with his black hoodie and just the facial features etc he looks exactly like this guy at my school whom I like. (I actually did see that guy too) Just when I see that flash of memory, I startle and fall down the bleachers. I can see myself lying at the bottom and I can tell that I'm dead. My neck is broken. I see E. grabbing me, crying, screaming my name. Then she takes my phone out of my pocket and calls my parents. I can't see them, but their voices resonate in my ears. Nobody in the crowd seems to notice me lying there except for E. and the guy I saw earlier. He's not crying or yelling or saying anything. He just stares at my corps. I can tell even though from where I'm seeing this he has his back turned to me. The weird thing about him is that I KNOW it wasn't the guy I know from my school. I know it was someone else. But he looked almost exactly like him and there was a connection to him in my dream somehow too....
That's it. The entire thing was really fast paced. It could have lasted only about 3 minutes tops.
The other part of the dream is my dad telling me that I have to drive my brother to Germany and stay with him there for the next week and me saying that I can't because I have a Chem test and my IB english oral preparation meeting. But my dad insists that I go. That part of the dream isn't as dramatic, but it stayed in my mind and I found it astounding that it made so many references to reality. I do have a Chem test and my prep meeting next week and all this other stuff I listed was real too. Also, my dad is going to Germany for a week or so in November for business, so it wasn't actually that far fetched.

So yeah, I wonder what it all means.
hm....
-Sui

dawn is broken :(

2008-09-25T17:02:00.001-07:00

Have you heard of the Twilight Series?
I'm sure you have, if you haven't, I'd really like to know which planet you're living on. I need to move there.
The series is pretty much the latest teenage sensation. I could say it's America's Harry Potter in vampire form, but that would be an insult to Harry Potter , so I won't.
As you can probably tell, I'm not so fond of the books.
The thing is, if they weren't so popular I probably would only be half as aggravated by their success as I am now, but because everyone is raving on and on and on about how good the books supposedly are I'm not allowed a "twilight"-free moment, which definitely adds to the anger. I know angry people die earlier. But what can I do? Maybe I should sue the woman who wrote the series because she made me angry and thus decreased my lifetime.
But, frankly, I can't even remember her name, so why bother?
I'll just be doing yoga in my little emo corner right here, where it's safe and no "twilight" lovers can find me.
No, really, they're not bad books. But they're not particularly good books either.
And what's with the titles? Twilight, New Moon, Breaking Dawn???
Why does everything have to replaced and broken? Personally I like the moon we have right now very much like and I find it rude to even consider breaking dawn.
Show some respect for nature, ok?

-Sui

For anyone wondering, this is not a serious email. It's a joke. So don't stress...
Chillax, ok?

haha and yes, I do realize that this post is really dumb. Don't judge me please... can't come up with quality all the time :P

Blogged with the Flock Browser

complete reconstruction

2008-09-18T18:06:00.000-07:00

yes. It's the 8th post and I'm already having doubts. What kind of doubts? Well, they pretty much all revolve around the question : What the #($*% were you thinking starting a blog?
So I've decided to give this baby a new start and a little bit of structure. (Yes, I love structure)

First of all we need an objective.
What do I want to write about?
I feel like it's hard to pinpoint just one subject.
Should I write about politics? nope I know nothing about politics......

Should I write about food? I'd love to but neither do I think I could keep it up nor do I think it would be smart to add to the myriad of food blogs that already exists (which reminds me, check out thefoodpornographer.com! It's awesome)

Should I write about my life? Uhhhh there's not much to write about... X_X

I guess it'll just end up being me writing whatever comes to mind.
I'll make it up as I go.
(well, structure has failed me so far)

Now... for a schedule.
When will I write?
How about once a week? I can manage that much right?
Um... we'll see
sounds like a plan tho

Every Sunday?
How about on the weekends??
That gives you a larger window of time

check, check and check

For a better future!
-Sui

car accidents suck

2008-09-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

Yes... I got into a car accident. But I've told the story to so many people already that I'll keep it short here. Pretty much someone t-boned me.

And thus I had an enlightening realization: Accidents suck.
They really never exhale. They just suck.
(haha I stole that joke from 89X ^^)

Sooo... obviously the chances of me getting a car are seriously diminished.
What does this mean? It means I have to figure out how to earn money, so that I can persuade my parents ( no not bribe them) with the fact that I can pay for at least part of it myself.
Being rich would be so nice right now X__X

Really, I already know what I want to do to make some money... all it takes is some incentive.
Incentive incentive!
Go go Sui! Go go Sui!
I'll figure it out..............
Maybe I should just friggin start.
well... I guess I kind of have an incentive now.

hm.
more interesting posts coming
-Sui

first thoughts in a while

2008-08-25T18:19:00.001-07:00

    Now that the Olympics are over I felt compelled to write a few words about them, just for the sake of it.
There were so many controversies and conflicts these Olympics I have to say I felt thoroughly disgusted by it all and decided that in order to prevent myself from getting all riled up about it not to watch them too closely. Despite it all some info did slip even in the remote corner that is my room and especially because I'm very interested in Chinese culture I couldn't stop myself from giving my two cents about them.
    A lot of you are probably going to hate me for saying this, but I sometimes feel that we give China too hard of a time. We always want to inflict our western morals upon them, while they need to find their own path. Politics suck. I think that sums it up.
    All I ask is that we don't judge too harshly. Investigate both sides, I dare you. You'll find the situation (though still pretty bad) isn't half as bad as portrayed by western media at times.

Dare to look behind the curtains. Once you've seen both sides you can form an intelligent judgment.

-Sui

Blogged with the Flock Browser