Clockwise from top left: the patient’s domain, my home nursing shelf, Cleo wondering what’s going on around here, and the huge pile of snacks that we’ve amassed.

My patient is improving by leaps & bounds, and soon he’ll be zooming around. But for the first month he still can’t put any weight on his right leg and he can’t drive himself anywhere. That means he still needs help doing some fairly simple things like going to the bathroom, showering, and having meals prepared. In addition to activities of daily living, I also have to give him a shot in his belly once a day, give him his medication, help him do his physical therapy, & change his surgical dressing once a day.

I love having my husband as a patient, but in the meantime I don’t think I’ve been taking very good care of myself. The only time I leave the house is to get the mail, go to the pharmacy, or attend a previously set obligation. I sleep late, don’t shower till midafternoon (if at all), hardly ever put on makeup, and eat junk. Then there’s the fact that David’s family is getting ready to leave on their vacation that we were supposed to go on, while I’m faced with the prospect of going back to work with nothing to look forward to. The result of this lifestyle & attitude is that I have been getting progressively more and more depressed.

This morning David gave me a wake-up call when he told me that he was really worried about me & that he was feeling guilty about being the cause of my sadness. In reality it has nothing to do with him–I absolutely love all the time we’re getting to spend together–but obviously I’m just not being good to myself. When I have days off from work during the week I’ll routinely spend all day at home and enjoy it, but doing that for an extended period of time is just not healthy for me.

So this is what I’m doing to get happy again:

First, I had a cup of coffee and took a few deep breaths.

Next, I called work and told my boss that I’m taking another week off. I don’t want to stress about going back too soon or feel guilty that I should be there and not at home. I want a little more time to relax.

Finally, I made a list of fun and–since we’re kind of broke right now–free things I can do at home or in the area in the next week that will make me happy and make it seem a little like vacation. This is my list so far:

• Take the dogs to the dog park
• Start running again
• Watch Glee on Netflix
• Visit the Orange Show Monument and Beer Can House
• Use the spa gift card my family got me
• Use the Groupons I have stored: one for microdermabrasion, another for products at an earth-friendly store
• Go to the yoga studio
• See a movie (I have a couple free passes I got at work)
• Send some “just because” cards
• Figure out some sort of project to do around the house

So far so good, I think. It starts now.

What about you? If you had a week to spend at home and not much money to spend, what would you do to make it into a vacation?

Well today I can finally tell you what it’s all about! I have teamed up with a company called Open Sky who is making online shopping what it should be. I don’t know about you, but when I decide to buy something I don’t just want to choose it randomly. Online reviews help, but how do I know that I can trust the reviewer? The way that I end up buying almost everything is from personal recommendations, and that’s what Open Sky is bringing to online shopping.

Starting August 10, I’ll be launching my very own store! I will be handpicking the items that go in it, and I guarantee that they will only be products that I personally own, love, and believe in. These aren’t going to be things that you can find in any big box store, they’re going to be mostly from small, independent businesses; another reason I’m in love with this.

The shop will be small to begin with, but I’ll add products as I try them out. Those who are closest to me know that I defend the things I love vehemently (just try to say something negative about Houston), and I get so much pleasure out of sharing those things. I’ll highlight some of my favorites here, and on a related note I’m going to begin reviewing other things as well. I already do books, but that will be expanding to include movies, products (not just those in my shop), and even activities.

The great thing about Open Sky is that it’s completely my own; they just make the connection happen. That means if you have questions about an item or want to see something specific added, just ask me! I’ll bend over backwards to help you out. Also, guess what? You can open your own shop too! Just visit the Open Sky website, fill out a contact form, and they’ll be in touch. It’s so easy and fun!

I can’t wait till it all goes live. In the meantime, let me know if you have any questions or comments. Want to know how I got started with this? What the process is like? Is there anything specific you’d like to see sold? As of now I’m focusing on pets, fitness, organic, beauty, and home accessories, plus some other random things. I hope you love it!

Partial family portrait at the hospital

It was an interesting experience staying in the hospital with my husband for a few days and NOT being the nurse. Although there were a few frustrating moments, overall we had a great experience. We liked certain staff members more than others. And actually, I think the whole ordeal will make me a better nurse. Here are some things I learned:

• When you walk into a patient’s room, introduce yourself. Even if you’re not assigned to that patient and are just helping out, let the patient know why you’re there. About a million people came in and out of our room and we didn’t know who half of them were. It was strange.
• If you are taking care of a patient, let them know how long you will be there. They need to know who to ask for help. Also, it would be nice if you let them know when you’re leaving.
• If you have to wake a patient up in the early morning to draw blood, don’t do it by bursting into the room and turning on the lights. Here’s an idea: gently rouse them and let them know you’ll be turning on the lights so they can brace themselves.
• Remember what they taught you in nursing school: pain is what the patient says it is. Every patient reacts differently to pain medicine. Just because someone is getting what you think is a high dose, doesn’t mean it is effective. There is always something else you can do.
• If you see family pictures put up, comment on them. Ask who they are, say that the babies are cute. It’ll make the patient feel like you care.
• Just smile and be friendly already! You may be having a terrible day, but I guarantee your patients aren’t having the best day of their lives either. Your attitude makes a huge difference.

We were in the hospital for three days. The surgery went well, and although he had a pretty high fever every day, they can’t find any cause for it. It was a rough time, painful for him and painful for me to watch him in pain and not be able to do anything. If we thought we were intimate before, we had no idea. But every day David looks better, moves better, feels better.

We’re so happy to be home.

So last night at 10 p.m. (only an hour after I got home from work; it was a long day) I sat down to read the packet in detail. It included advice on things to do before surgery, such as:

• Be familiar with the guidelines and benefits covered by your insurance company – we have no idea
• Make a list of your medications – done and already submitted
• Make plans for transportation home & someone to stay with you at home for 7-10 days – that’s me!
• Fix up your home so that it is safe & uncluttered – always
• Obtain adaptive devices such as raised toilet seat, hand held showerhead, etc. – nope, hoping the hospital will fix us up
• Stop blood-thinning medication seven days prior to surgery – oops, David took an ibuprofen yesterday. Oh well.

In addition to those instructions, I have a checklist of my own. It is as follows:

• Sleep in – sort of done. Dogs were having panic attacks all night long which resulted in me getting pawed at and whined at every thirty minutes. Curled into a ball, put in ear plugs, and diligently ignored them until 9:30 a.m.
• Take a really, really good shower and shave
• Encourage David to do the same
• Do my nails
• Clean the house from top to bottom
• Do all laundry
• Return overdue library books
• Drop the dogs off at miscellaneous family’s houses
• Grocery shopping
• Make copies of house key
• Get power of attorney paperwork signed and notarized
• Figure out our financial situation
• Pray, pray, pray

The next few weeks are going to be quite an experience.

Oh, you want to refinance your house? No problem, everything is in perfect order, you’re guaranteed a huge reduction in payment along with a refund. But wait, what’s this! Two foreclosures in your neighborhood? Hold on just a hop skip. You’ll probably end up getting the refinance, but you might not get the refund and it definitely won’t be for at least another month.

Oh, your husband needs his hips replaced? That’ll be close to $4000 for surgery and medication, at least a month of unpaid sick leave, and by the way don’t even think about that vacation you have planned. What’s that, you want to have a baby? Not so fast–we need you to experience a healthy dose of miscarriage & infertility first. And just for good measure we’re going to clog up your bathroom sink so good that not only will nothing go down, water will actually come up.

Not enough stress at home? We’ve got you covered at work. We’ll start with a patient who’s having diarrhea every thirty minutes and is too weak to wipe her own behind, add to that an angry man who is ready to call administration if you so much as allow his IV pump to beep more than once, and just for kicks we’ll throw in a nice smelly wound full of tumor and infection that you need to keep clean.

Whew. That was ugly.

So, now that I have that out of my system, I hope I can get over myself already. There are worse things in the world.

After meeting us, you might be surprised to find out that he’s actually a very private person. Too bad he married a blogger. I might keep quiet around large groups, but get me one on one and I’ll tell you my life story if you ask. I’d also tell you my husband’s life story if he’d let me–okay, sometimes I do anyway. I’m not embarrassed to talk about our struggles, because I figure we all have them and I could definitely use the support.

Anyway, I try to show David that I love him in many ways, and one of them is by NOT writing about him too often here. Or at least when I do write about him, it’s about how great he is–which is completely true, of course. But today he gave me the go-ahead to tell you about something we are going through that involves him, because it affects every part of our lives. Right now I can’t really think about anything else, so it was either this or nothing.

***

The month before David and I got married he was diagnosed with avascular necrosis of both hips. What happens in this disease is that the bone dies due to lack of blood flow; it is progressive, irreversible, and incredibly painful. Our honeymoon was the last time I remember being truly active with him, because a couple of months later he had two separate surgeries, one on each hip, to try and halt or slow down the progression of the disease. It worked…for a little while. But there was still pain, and a lot of it.

After the initial two surgeries he decided to see a pain management doctor because the Vicodin that regular doctors can prescribe wasn’t cutting it. Over the last year and a half he has been on at least six different types of narcotics. The pain keeps getting worse, his body becomes tolerant, and there are side effects to consider. Boy oh boy, are there side effects.

The only real solution to his problem is to get his hips replaced. However, hip replacements aren’t permanent, and he’s still young. There is a long recovery and they only last about 30 years right now. His doctor had told him to hold off for as long as possible because a lifetime hip replacement is in development. Plus, there’s the fact that it’s MAJOR surgery, which comes with its own costs and risks, not to mention that it makes him feel like a geriatric.

Well, he held off as long as he could. Over the past week his pain has grown exponentially. He can’t get around without the use of crutches. He feels like he’s not on any pain medicine at all, when just one of the pills that he’s taking would kill me if I took it. Yesterday he went to his orthopedist and it was confirmed: he is having the surgery and as soon as possible.

I’m trying to keep the long-term benefits in mind. How this will bring so much relief to him, how he can wean off the meds and say goodbye to side effects, how he will be able to do so much more things with me, how in the end it will lead to a much happier and healthier home. The surgery makes me nervous, but in general I would be relieved to have it done, if it weren’t for one thing: the timing.

We have a vacation planned for two weeks away, and now we can’t go. I’m really, really sad about this, and David feels terrible. It’s not his fault, of course, and his health comes first. But apparently I thrive on having something to look forward to, and I had been planning this for months. I write about my job here from time to time, but seriously–it’s the kind of job where taking regular breaks is necessary for emotional health & sanity. Instead I’ll be using my time off doing a different kind of nursing. I’ll do it for him gladly, but it’s not exactly the break I was going for.

There are also financial issues to consider, which are unfortunately really stressing me out. Surgery is expensive, and we are scheduled to start fertility treatment next month which isn’t cheap. Then there’s our house refinance that hasn’t gone the way we planned, an issue with his medicine & insurance that resulted in a huge unexpected cost to us, and the consequence of all this is that I’m wallowing home alone without even the energy to make myself a sandwich. Anyone want to come do that for me?

I’m sure this is one of those blessings in disguise. It’s going to be a good thing, and we are going to grow as a couple because of it and when it’s all behind us we’ll be so much happier. Getting to that point, though, isn’t going to be easy.

I’m the kind of tired where I barely have the energy to take care of myself, but since I have to go back to work this weekend to continue taking care of other people, I’m trying to get myself back on my feet today.

Step One: Pop some pills. I woke up with a killer headache, and though I usually try to avoid medicine for as long as possible, I didn’t want to deal with it today. Four ibuprofen, down the hatch.

Step Two: Take a shower. The only reason I did this was because I was meeting Tabaitha for breakfast. I’m grateful for this not only because I got to see her, but because the shower did a lot for my energy level.

Step Three: Food and coffee. Tabaitha introduced me to my new favorite place, just five minutes from my house, The Bagel Cafe. I’ve already told David that we’re starting a new tradition of going there every Sunday before church (when I’m not working, of course).

Step Four: Relax. Spend a few hours reading blogs, playing with my dogs, & reading.

Step Five: Be a little productive. Pay bills, get a few groceries, and clean the floors.

Step Six: Work on a fun project. I’ve decided to make vacation jars to display in our home a la Young House Love, and today will be the day that I begin.

Step Seven: Cook dinner for family. The perfect way to end the day, with comfort food and loved ones.

Hopefully by the end of today I’ll be ready to conquer another weekend of work!

Even though I didn’t get a long weekend, I had a great two days off including sleeping in, World Cup, frozen yogurt, seeing Eclipse, a night on the town eating at a delicious Italian restaurant and seeing Wicked for the second time with David, an emotional last church service before we change buildings, cleaning house,  grilling with friends & family, my return to yoga, and an early bedtime. What’s not to love?

Bring it on, July!

Current Book(s): The main book I’m reading right now is The Well at the World’s End Vol. II, but yesterday my husband brought home a book called The Dog Listener by Jan Fennell. I’m not counting it as one of my 50 books for 2010 because I skipped most of the background info and am only skimming the 30-day training plan. So far it’s teaching me a lot about how to communicate with our pups, and there are some easy things we can do to start training them. (Although David is already regretting giving me the book because it means he can’t give Eddie bones whenever she wants.)

Current Playlist: My brother got me the soundtracks to In the Heights and Wonderland, and my friend Lauren got me The Punch Brothers’ newest release “Antifogmatic.” These three, along with the Wicked soundtrack, have been on repeat in my car.

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: Not showering on my days off. Does anyone else regard showering as a huge chore?

Current Color: Loving sunny yellow. I don’t have anything in that color, but I enjoy it whenever I see it!

Current Drink: Iced coffee. Why didn’t I think of making my own at home before this? The reasons I love it are threefold: 1) I can make a big batch and keep it in the fridge, which cuts down on time getting ready in the morning, 2) when it’s 85 degrees already when I wake up, I’m not really craving a hot drink, and 3) it’s delicious!

Current Food: Lots and lots of cereal, but what else is new?

Current Favorite Show: My youngest brother is a TV aficionado, and he’s made it his goal to watch everything that’s good. He makes me feel like I’m missing out on a whole lot, but the truth is I just don’t have the time. Right now I’m still just watching Gossip Girl from Netflix and The Bachelorette.

Current Wishlist: Let’s get superficial, shall we? I want a subscription to House Beautiful, a dock with speakers for my iPhone, a pair of Toms shoes, some pretty necklaces, a few summer dresses, Rosetta Stone for Spanish, to want to cook, & to actually be interested in photography.

Current Needs: An organic face wash that I can use on my eyes that doesn’t make me break out, a case for my phone, for the refinance on our house to go through, & motivation to exercise.

Current Triumphs: Oh goodness. Let’s see. I’ve started a Bible reading plan that has me reading ten chapters a day, and I’m two days into it. I know it’s premature to consider this a triumph, but at least I started, right?

Current Bane(s) of my Existence: The process of refinancing our house. Don’t even get me started!

Current Celebrity Crush: I know USA is out of the World Cup, but I just think Clint Dempsey is so cute. Maybe because he reminds me a bit of my husband. :)

Current Indulgence: Sleeping in till at least 9 a.m. on my days off, grazing on M&M’s all day long, and not making any plans besides lounging around.

Current Blessing(s): I have a great job working for an amazing company that still gives out annual performance-based raises. I just got mine, and it was the maximum possible. :)

Current Outfit: Rolled up striped pajama pants & a stretchy tank from Gap.

Current Excitement: At the end of the month we have a two week vacation planned to the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina! We’ll be staying in a cabin in the mountains with David’s family, hiking up Mt. Mitchell, whitewater rafting, visiting the Biltmore Mansion, taking a ride on the Great Smoky Mountain Railroad, and as a bonus stopping in Nashville to see friends and in Columbia, SC to visit my aunt & uncle. I can hardly wait!

Current Link: Lately I’ve been desperate for new music, which is why I was so excited to discover Stereomood. Just click on what mood you’re in, and a playlist pops up. I’ve been listening to “Asleep On My Feet” while I write this (since that’s what my dogs are doing), and it’s been the perfect ambient background music.

Happy July!

* * *

And if you don’t feel like watching it, I’ll just tell you: CW won! Yay CW!

And now, I’m going to bed.

***

This week has not been my favorite. My mood has echoed the weather, which has looked like this:

This is not to say that I dislike the rain (although I’m not saying I like the rain either), but coincidentally this weather has matched up perfectly with my periodic hormonal imbalance. I haven’t had any energy at all, and no motivation to get anything done. I’ve been working most of the week, but on my sole day off I did nothing but read and play games on the Wii all day long. I’m slowly gaining my happiness back, and the awesome weekend I have planned is probably part of that.

***

My husband has lately taken to calling my dog Cleo “sickly.” I don’t like that term because it implies that she’s a needy invalid with a short life expectancy. I keep telling him she just has a sensitive stomach! But seriously, her gagging and vomiting all over the house is getting a bit old. You know how dogs chew grass to make themselves throw up? Cleo did that the other day, except with our carpet. I’m not even joking, she swallowed a melon-sized wad of carpet and then regurgitated it. First of all, I’m just glad she didn’t choke to death. Second, what the heck? Third, anyone have recommendations for carpet or carpet installers?

(For those of you that may be worried about Cleo’s health, I am too. But not overly. I am pretty sure it has to do with a new food we tried with her. So for now we’re changing to a healthier kind, limiting her treats, and eliminating people food altogether. Hopefully it solves the problem.)

***

Last week I finally gave in and exchanged my bus pass to a parking pass for work. This was my first full week driving every day, and I can say for sure that I have a problem on my hands. Every day on my way home, I become overwhelmingly drowsy. It’s a 40-minute drive in the heat of the afternoon after I’ve worked all day, and I have SUCH a hard time staying awake. I’ve tried calling David, slapping myself, rolling down the windows, and most recently I’ve resorted to listening to pop stations on the radio. This was surprisingly effective, until yesterday when I heard that terrible “California Gurls” song two times within five minutes. That song makes me want to dig out my own eardrums with a screwdriver, and the fact that “gurls” is spelled with a “u”? Don’t even get me started. All that to say, I’m currently on the hunt for songs to add to my “Don’t Die In A Fiery Car Crash” playlist.

***

On the off chance that there is someone reading this who enjoys soccer and the World Cup, here is a really funny & insightful article that my dad sent me: “Soccer is ready to capture our attention.”

And if you, like me, enjoyed the Twilight books back when you read them once a long time ago, but are kind of sick of the whole thing by now, although you still want to see the movies because why not, and now you get more enjoyment out of making fun of the series than anything else, here is a link for you. A dude reads the books and blogs his thoughts chapter by chapter. Why couldn’t I have written this? Blogging Twilight.