The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

It’s about: The title kind of says it all, doesn’t it? But I just want to add, in case you don’t know who Dr. Laura is, that she is a trained family counselor with many years of experience who now has a radio show. Her fans are rabidly devoted and my husband is among them. I read this on his recommendation.

I thought: I find that I agree very much with almost everything she says, even though I don’t always think her tone is helpful. One big thing to take away from it is that the only thing you have control over is you – if your spouse is treating you badly, you might have something to do with it. If you want to bring about a change in your spouse, you probably need to change first. Anyway, this was a huge encouragement and made me want to do everything possible to ensure our marriage stays strong.

Rating: 4 of 5 stars.

The Golem’s Eye by Jonathan Stroud

It’s about: This is the second in the trilogy, and a mysterious force is destroying important parts of London. Nathaniel (our young upstart magician) and his demon Bartimaeus must travel to Prague to determine the cause behind the attacks. In the meantime, we get to know the commoner Kitty and her work with the resistance.

I thought: It wasn’t as good as the first book because Bartimaeus wasn’t in it as much. He’s the best. At first I didn’t know Kitty and thus didn’t care as much about her, but by the end I did. The deeper plot develops, and there is one seriously haunting scene. Overall a good setup for a (hopefully) strong finish.

Rating: 3 of 5 stars.

The Penultimate Peril by Lemony Snicket

It’s about: Okay, this is the twelfth book out of thirteen, so the plot is a little convoluted by this point and I’m not going to get into it. But it seemed like there was less action in this one than usual.

I thought: All of these books are similar, which is why it’s taking me forever to finish the series. I need a break in between them. However, they are also incredibly witty, informative, clever, etc., and at this point I am quite invested in the lives of the Baudelaire orphans. It was good.

Rating: 4 of 5 stars.

Ptolemy’s Gate by Jonathan Stroud

It’s about: Bartimaeus has been trapped on earth for years by Nathaniel and he has become weak and worn out. Nathaniel is an arrogant jerk, and Kitty is awesome, and she figures out some magical stuff and learns about Bartimaeus’s past, and there is war and some creepy demons, and lots of other good stuff.

I thought: Getting through the second book was totally worth it for this huge payoff. The end was especially perfect, and I’m a sucker for a good ending.

Rating: 5 of 5 stars.

On to some adult fiction now!

Kurt Vonnegut’s absurdist classic Slaughterhouse-Five introduces us to Billy Pilgrim, a man who becomes unstuck in time after he is abducted by aliens from the planet Tralfamadore. In a plot-scrambling display of virtuosity, we follow Pilgrim simultaneously through all phases of his life, concentrating on his (and Vonnegut’s) shattering experience as an American prisoner of war who witnesses the firebombing of Dresden.

Summary from Goodreads:

This is the story of two women. Their lives collide one fateful day, and one of them has to make a terrible choice, the kind of choice we hope you never have to face. Two years later, they meet again – the story starts there …

Week twelve had a brighter color scheme than is my norm. I like it though. I do try to keep each spread somewhat unified in terms of colors and feel, although it doesn’t always turn out that way. Here I was going for deep pink, orange, yellow, and blue.

The weekly quotes are kind of getting hard to find! I like them to be on the subject of love, life, and home mostly, because that’s what my life revolves around. Plus, they have to be kind of short.

At the beginning of the week we went out to eat for my brother’s birthday at this wine bar called Plonk. I grabbed one of their business cards and took a picture of him with Meredith in front of the sign. Its colors were kind of my jumping off point.

I had two horizontal spaces to fill and only small vertical pictures, but since they were both of Meredith sleeping it worked out to create one long spread. I’ll keep this idea in mind for later because it worked out well!

Of course the monthly Meredith update had to go in. I think once she turns one I’ll drop this. The “craft on” sticker came on the package of the minibook (also pictured) that I ordered from Elise.

I threw this little card together with some leftover supplies from our craft club.

Week thirteen I seriously did not take enough pictures and I had to scramble to fill the space. Need to get back on top of this!

I went to see The Hunger Games with my dad and we asked an employee to take a picture of us. Then Meredith and I got sick for the next few days, so I did a little summary of that and included a business card from the new doctor I went to. I also decided to take a random photo of my dog Cleo in the backyard. The dogs are a big part of our lives too, but they get overshadowed by the baby!

I snapped a picture of Meredith at the doctor, and that “M” is again from the Madewell  catalogue. Oh! The label there on the picture of the backyard is a new punch from Stampin’ Up. I love it.

I had some personal thoughts to add this week so again I journaled on the inside of a piece of patterned paper and clipped it in.

Then I decided to add this little section about crafting because I’ve been doing a lot more of it lately. If I had taken more pictures this section probably would’ve gotten left out, but I’m glad it’s there because it’s a good reflection of the details of my life lately.

On to the next!

I love – love - weekends where I don’t have plans. Most of the time plans are fun, but there’s nothing like free time. This weekend was good like that. If I could, I would start every Saturday this way:

Wake up to a smiling baby ready to play. It’s early, but it’s okay because I went to bed early too.

First things first. Have a cup of coffee and some breakfast while I read for a little while. Baby is playing happily on the ground.

Get some laundry started. Meredith amuses herself – who needs a fancy water table when you have the toilet?

Go for a run. It’s not too hot out yet and best not to put it off. :)

Have some play time at home while I cool off – mirrors are loads of fun!

Do the weekly chores. Quickly clean the kitchen and sweep the floors while Meredith chomps on some puffies. I can enjoy the weekend so much  more if I get this stuff done right away.

Cook some blueberry & sausage pancake rollups. They don’t photograph well but sure are yummy!

Later we visited a book sale and I got several board books for cheap, continued work on the bedside table I’m redoing with my dad, and had dinner with David’s parents at Steak ‘N’ Shake. Sunday we visited a new church, went shopping for household sundries, I got some craft time in, and we spent the evening at home together chatting and working on a puzzle.

I’m recharged and ready for the week!

Her first solo swinging experience produced mixed emotions of terror and exhilaration.

***

Time // 3:51 p.m.
Place // at work, about to leave for the day.
Eating // nothing.
Drinking // nothing.
Watching // infusions.
Reading // In Zanesville by Jo Ann Beard.
Wanting // some ferns for my living room.
Thinking // about how I can read 30 pages a day simply in the time between parking my car and getting to my unit at work.
Creating // a simple sweet cross stitch project.
Hoping // to have some down time this weekend.
Needing // to get connected at a church we both love.
Anticipating //the arrival of orders of washi tape and essential oils I recently placed.

***

Last week when we were all sick I was really thrown out of my working-mom groove. The whole week I didn’t exercise or cook, and I spent all weekend trying to get things back into order. This week we are all healthy again, but one thing after another has prevented me from really hitting my routine. I’ve only run once and cooked once, and it’s so hard to get the momentum going again.

I’ve also been terrible at taking pictures, which makes keeping a weekly scrapbook kind of difficult. I still really want to keep up though, so I don’t care if I have a couple bad weeks. And once I get caught up again (I hope very soon) I’ll share my progress.

This weekend I have plans to continue working on refinishing a table with my dad, but other than that – nothing! I am really hoping to have some down time at home because I want to get some things cleaned, go for a run or two, and work on my own projects. In between lots of Mermaid cuddles, of course. :)

***

1 – Lots of work on Project Life; getting all caught up on chores with Meredith in the Ergo.

2 – Another day off with a mildly sick Meredith and visiting David at work.

3 – Working a full day plus reading while Meredith napped, taking her for a run, doing chores for the next day, and cooking dinner & sitting down to eat it as a family. Feeling like I’m getting this working mom thing down.

4 - Taking an evening nap with Meredith and totally relaxing. Being nominated for the ICARE award at work.

5 – Nice evening with Meredith crawling & playing by herself while I cooked.

6 – Waking up to a 2-page love note from David.

7 - Spending time with David’s extended family.

8 – Easter with both families; watching Meredith “egg hunt”.

9 – Having so much energy at work since I could drink coffee again.

10 – An evening nap with Meredith.

11 - A long sit-down dinner chatting with David.

12 - Getting a raise.

13 - Making plans with Dad to refinish furniture, hugs from Meredith, and David being so excited about the dinner I cooked.

14 - Unexpected refund check in the mail.

15 - Planning new cross stitch projects, mirror note from David, and dinner with the fam.

16 - Good mail day – a magazine, wedding invite, & mini book.

17 - David bringing home dinner so I could relax after a busy day.

18 - Hugs from Meredith and making her laugh by sucking on her fingers.

19 - Progress planning Meredith’s first birthday party.

20 - Meredith’s reaction to me when I picked her up after work – she cried because I had to go to the bathroom and didn’t pick her up right away.

21 – My friend Sara’s Red Tent gathering – a bunch of women sharing birth stories.

22 – Seeing The Hunger Games with Dad at Alamo Drafthouse theatre.

23 – Off work again with a mildly sick baby.

24 – David taking care of me and Meredith while I was sick with fever.

25 – Another day home, David bringing me my favorite sandwich & treating me to a milkshake, and lots of time spent as a family in the evening.

26 - Coming home to see Meredith sleeping on David’s chest.

27 - Watching Meredith play with her cousin Lucas.

28 – Seeing Meredith play in the kiddie pool and stand up by herself and an afternoon with my dad learning to refinish furniture.

29 – My nephew’s 3rd birthday party with the family.

30 – A good run after not exercising for a week due to being sick.

Me: chipmunk. Her: skeptical, not a chipmunk.

Oh look, one of her cheeks is a little bit puffed…

She’s over it. This isn’t working.

Oh wait. THERE we go.

It’s national infertility awareness week, and before it passes by I felt like acknowledging it because although I am a mother now, I come from a place of infertility.

I have PCOS, and although ours is not a particularly long story, we did undergo two years of waiting, an unknown future, one horrific miscarriage, many different tests and medications, and in the middle of it all my husband had both of his hips replaced. At the end of the two years I found myself in the therapist’s office struggling with depression that I didn’t want to let out of control.

Once you deal with infertility, in any form, you are changed.

In some ways it scarred me. I still carry the sadness, grief, bitterness, and envy inside of me. I still tense up inside when thinking about what it will take to have a second baby. I frequently get sad thinking that Meredith might be my only child, and then immediately feel guilty because so many people would do anything just to have one. I still find myself envious of pregnant women. I still mourn for the baby I lost.

I think, though, that infertility has made me a better person and a better mother. We ended up conceiving through an IUI, and even though I had some serious discomforts during pregnancy, my main feeling was thankfulness. My daughter is a miracle to me, and I think I do a much better job at appreciating her than I ever would have otherwise. Every time I pick her up, even if I’ve only just put her down, I smile. Every time she learns something new, or smiles, or laughs, I am thrilled. When she cries at night or gets hurt or lonely or scared, I am secretly happy because she needs me to comfort her. I am so honored to be her mother.

Infertility has also taught me to be dependent on God, to delight in His blessings, and to wait patiently on Him. Strange as though it may sound, if I hadn’t lost my first baby Meredith herself wouldn’t be here, and I can’t imagine the world without her. She came along once David’s hips were healthy and I had a new, more stable job. It was the right time.

The Year of Suffering, as I call it, actually helped our marriage. We saw each other at our most helpless (mentally, emotionally, and physically), we were there for each other, and we became stronger.

But you know what? If I had read this while in the midst of everything I probably would have thought: that’s easy for you to say. I get that. But I just wanted to say that I will never forget, I will never pretend that it was easy for us, and I will always be here for anyone who is going through it now.

This isn’t an infertility blog, but I did write about some of my experiences. You can read about them here.