Memorial Day.

Here in the Midwest that means getting a jump start on yard work. Planting colorful flowers or healthy vegetables. Grilling out. Maybe fishing. Or taking in a ballgame.

Oh yeah….and maybe we might remember that the original intent of the day has something to do with soldiers.

Not soldiers who are enlisted today. Not even the ones who bravely served in years past.

I mean the ones we can only see today by visiting a cemetery.

When we were first married and didn’t have children, we often “borrowed” our good friends’ son Andrew.

Todd reading Andrew “Uncle Wiggly” before bed. It had been a long day of painting for both of them. {We let Andrew “paint” with a water bucket & a brush}

He loved “putting on his worker belt” and helping me clean and scrub. Or having Todd read him the book Uncle Wiggly. And eating my homemade oatmeal cookies. Lots of them. {Shhh..I never let his mama know!) And playing pretend by protecting me from any approaching enemies.

Andrew always wanted good to win over evil. As soon as he was able, this blonde-haired boy became a military man.

On Christmas Day in 2006, at the age of 19, Andrew was killed in Baghdad by an IED just shortly after arriving there.

Our small town rallied to support his grieving family. Our old gang of girlfriends from the church we attended back when Andrew was little all went in to buy his mom Tami diamond earrings to wear in his remembrance. His dad Al now has a wall in his local business dedicated to the military heroes with ties to our area.

Al and Tami, along with  Andrew’s two sisters, grandparents, and other family members and friends, miss him terribly.

Every. Single. Day.

And I never look at a Memorial Day cook out the same.

Both Todd and I had instilled in us a thankfulness for veterans and service men and women and tried very hard to pass that on to our children–Yes, you will stand up when the flag passes and put your hand over your heart. And yes, you will stop whatever you are doing when you see someone in uniform and go over and thank them for serving our country. Non-negotiable. {This past post from my then 18-year-old daughter shows it just may have rubbed off} However, I still don’t think I really “got” Memorial Day until Andrew……I mean Private First Class Nelson….. died serving. And I still don’t totally get it. He was like a son when he was little. But he wasn’t actually my son.

So before you fire up that grill and enjoy times with friends and family this weekend, give thanks to God for our freedom.

And to the little ones like Andrew who grew up and put off having that backyard barbecue in order to put on a uniform. And the ones who died in past wars to ensure your right to host that barbecue in the first place. Or to attend that church service. Or to speak your mind freely.

And if you know a family who has lost a military member, why not give them a call? Or take them a meal. Or flowers. Or kidnap them and take them out for coffee.

Why, you could even invite them to a barbecue.

But remember, Memorial Day barbecues cost a lot.

And I’m not talking about the price of hot dogs.

I’m over at The Better Mom today with a post about what dead-heading flowers has to do with following God.

Join us by clicking here.

{And please remember to pray for the people of Oklahoma affected by the storms}

Many of you know I recently went to Colorado Springs to record at Focus on the Family. They wanted to bring the message of LET. IT. GO. to their audience this fall. {If you aren’t familiar with this, my latest project, the book and DVD Bible study curriculum are on how to control what you should, trust God with what you can’t and–most importantly–how to decide which one is which!)

It was way fun. I was way nervous. (I always am EVERY time!) But is went waaaaay good. (Or is it “way well”? Whatever.)

The first day’s program was on control in marriage. The second show was on control of the kiddos and the look of the house–you know because there are kiddos in the house you feel like you can’t ever control the look of it! The shows will air in October. {I’ll be sure to tell you when.}

I felt as if many of you were along with me and I could picture your sweet faces as I spoke. In fact, if you want a little more behind-the-scenes peek at what is going on with me, sign up with your email address to be one of my Go-To girls by clicking here.

Now, as promised, here are some pics of the trip.

Leaving Michigan.

Touching down in the Springs. LOOK AT THOSE MOUNTAINS!!!

The view out my hotel window.

The welcome sign. Only God could arrange for me to be there the same day as my boy’s favorite food chain. {We don’t have Chick-Fil-A’s in MI. and my boys LOVE their nuggets, waffle fries & sauce}

The studio.

The sound guys. {Wonder if they can slow the audio down on this fast-talking Midwestern mama? Everyone in the South always tells me to speak more slowly. Why, come to think of it people in the Midwest tell me to speak more slowly!}

Focus on the Family Host John Fuller, me and Focus President Jim Daly. SUCH kind, godly {and fun} guys. (I hope they don’t air any out-takes!)

My producer {and new awesome friend!} Ashley Bazer. She is a producer but she is also a fiction writer. I want to have her on here sometime soon. She was a gracious host and I loved hanging with her for 24 hours.

Focus: “So Karen, where would you like to eat?” Me: “Oh…I don’t care.” Focus: “No really. You pick. Anywhere. Italian. Chinese. Steak House?” Me: “Ummm….anywhere? Focus: “Yes, anywhere!” Me: “All-righty then. Chick-Fil-A!” {I’m a cheap guest.}

And finally…a snapshot of true motherly love. At the airport I emptied out my ONE ALLOWED bag of liquids {good-bye trial sized shampoo, conditioner, hand-sanitizer and lotions} and filled it with some sacrificial lovin’ for my boys.

NOTE: The winner of last Friday’s giveaway from Teske Drake is: Dana. Please email your home address along with what you won to my intern at haley@karenehman.com

Before today’s post, a few updates: Would you like to get my posts automatically in your email inbox? Click here. Or follow me on Twitter? Pinterest or Facebook? I’d love to connect with you as we encourage each other.

Also….do you struggle with “Mama Mouth? Need help controlling your tongue and your temper when you can’t always control the look of the house or the actions of your family members who live there? There is help! Sign up for my free 5-day “Pause Before You Pounce” challenge. Short, practical devotions with a simple challenge of the day and a memory verse for the series. Click here to sign up.

But wait–want even MORE freebies? To find out how you can make one simple book purchase from us at Proverbs 31 Ministries and automatically get over $75 worth of mothering freebies including ebooks, helpful printables, Mp3 messages, sample chapters and a Bible reading log from some of my favorite mothering authors, click here. But hurry! Offer ends May 31st.

And finally…question for you–do you love a party?

If so, don’t forget to join me Saturday night as I host an online Facebook party with Candace Cameron Bure (you remember her–DJ Tanner from Full House?) as we watch her new movie Finding Normal at 9pm on the GMC channel.

Candace herself will be hopping on to chat with us live as we watch the movie in our homes while we also connect as friends on Facebook.

Click here for details.

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Have you joined us after reading my Encouragement for Today devotion entitled Answer Envy? Thanks for clicking over. {Not read the devotion? Click here to do so}

In the devotion I talked about my struggle years ago to have a baby. So today I am asking my friend Teske to join us.

Teske Drake is a mommy to three babies in heaven, mother to two on earth, and wife to her one and only, Justin.

Inspired by her own loss experiences, Teske serves as co-founder and President of Mommies with Hope, a biblically-based support group ministry for women who have experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss.

Teske is the author of Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow: Finding Light Beyond the Shadow of Miscarriage or Infant Loss (Kregel, 2012) and she leads women to live in hope at www.mommieswithhope.com.

I have asked Teske to hop on today to respond to comments about dealing with loss, especially in the area of having children. You will love her gentle spirit and helpful perspective.

Also today, Teske is giving away a copy of her book, Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow: Finding Light Beyond the Shadow of Miscarriage or Infant Loss, along with a “Hope Journal” (a great accompaniment to the book, which calls for reflection and journaling throughout), and a $10 Panera Gift Card.

This is a hope-filled gift for you or a friend whose traveled the tough road of loss and infertility.

So let’s chat. Do you ever struggle with “Answer Envy”? In what areas?

Have you or a friend or loved one experienced heartache in the area of having children?

Tell us about it. One commenter will be chosen to receive Teske’s giveaway. Winner announced Monday.

Oh I am soooooo excited!

Actress, author, speaker, and super-down-to-earth chicka Candace Cameron Bure (you may remember her as DJ Tanner from the TV show Full House) has a new television movie premiering this weekend on GMC called Finding Normal. Here is the gist of the plot:

Dr. Lisa Leland, a brilliant surgeon with no bedside manner, is on her way to the Hamptons to join her boyfriend as a concierge doctor for the rich and famous when she totals her car and is found guilty of speeding through the small town of Normal. She is ordered to do community service in the small town of 332 people with no wi-fi, no lattes, and no credit cards. Will she survive and find out what a meaningful life is all about?

Here is how you can find out!

First– mark your calendar, set your smart phone to beep, put a sticky-note on your bathroom mirror–just plan to tune in Saturday May 18th at 7:00, 9:00 or 11:00 pm EST. (To see more about the movie & watch a trailer, click here.)

AND—if you are up for a party-- I am hosting an online viewing party over on my Facebook page and Candace will be joining us!!! AND there may or may not be some awesome give aways during random commercial breaks!

To join our little party, click here.

Now to tell you a bit more about Candace and this project, I caught up with her this week during her whirlwind publicity tour (Okay–that sounded so official like I interviewed her at a coffee house and we were both all decked out. Actually, we were exchanging email messages last night until 1:22 am–she in her New York hotel room in her jammies and me in my sweats in my house in Michigan!!!) Anyhow– here is Candace in her own words:

Candace- your new movie, Finding Normal, airs this coming weekend. Tell us about how and when you got the role to play the lead character, Dr. Lisa Leland.

I was sent the script back in November 2012, read it and loved it! I was excited to play the character of Lisa because she is very unlike me. I also loved the message and theme of the movie. It is a story I wanted to tell. Also, GMC is a network I’m thrilled to be involved with because of their family values.

So you are saying you aren’t like the character of Dr. Lisa? Explain.

She’s totally different—in the beginning at least! She has no bedside manner whatsoever. I don’t think I lend my first smile until halfway through the movie. It was definitely a challenge for me to fight my natural instincts when I played her. She does warm up throughout the movie and of course I love when she does!

What message do you hope that Finding Normal brings to the audience who watches?

This is a fish out of water story. But the overall theme is really about evaluating your life and its purpose. Have you mapped it out yourself or have you allowed God to lead you on the path He  has laid out for you

You’ve mentioned to me that you have a real passion to bring family-friendly movies and television shows to today’s viewers. Tell us more about that desire.

I do! As a mom and as a woman of faith, family friendly shows and movies are a must. I want my kids to watch them and I personally want to watch them. It’s what I enjoy- something that’s uplifting, positive, inspiring and entertaining. There is so much on TV that is not a positive influence – and I believe it truly affects how we as a society live. So many people tell me how they wish shows like Full House or the Cosby Show- wholesome shows were back on television. And I do too. So it’s my passion and desire to reflect those wholesome values in the work I do.

As an actress in the entertainment industry, I cling to the verse Esther 4:14 “And who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this and for this very occasion?” (Amplified Bible)

Thanks for chatting with us Candace and THANK YOU for helping bringing entertainment the whole family can watch together! We’ll “see” you at the viewing party on Saturday night!!! Whoo-hoo! 

{Sorry. I just love a good party!}

So this is the point where I should be putting an adorable publicity pic of Candace, but I like this one from my Iphone better.

Okay friends–to help us spread the word, grab the tweet or Facebook status below, will you? Candace and I both can’t thank you enough! (To ensure you can tag us both, please follow us on Twitter or Like our pages on Facebook first. (Candace’s FB page: click here. My FB page: click here. Candace on Twitter: candacecbure Me on Twitter: karen_ehman) Bless you!

Tweet:  Join @candacecbure for a viewing party of her movie #FindingNormal this Sat. May 18 at 9pm EST hosted by @karen_ehman http://goo.gl/YvnM0

Facebook: Join Candace Cameron Bure for a viewing party of her movie Finding Normal this Sat. May 18 at 9pm EST hosted by Karen Patterson Ehman. In the movie Dr. Lisa Leland, a brilliant surgeon with no bedside manner, is on her way to the Hamptons to join her boyfriend as a concierge doctor for the rich and famous when she totals her car and is found guilty of speeding through the small town of Normal. She is ordered to do community service in the small town of 332 people with no wi-fi, no lattes, and no credit cards. Will she survive and find out what a meaningful life is all about? Join us and see!  http://goo.gl/YvnM0

Kenna about four hours old. She is wearing the sleeper I came home from the hospital in in 1964 and laying on the blanket my husband came home from the hospital wrapped up in in 1962.

Pushing pause on the blogging button to  wish our oldest child and only daughter a Happy Birthday!

Twenty-two years ago today, after 21 hours of labor, a placental abruption, and an emergency c-section, Kenna made her scary entrance into the world at 2:51 p.m. (She never did make things easy on me!)

Kenna and her daddy. My handsome college-sweetheart-turned-hubby Todd. Photograph by the fabulous Ethan Painter Photography.

My heart aches that this is the first birthday where she hasn’t been able to be with her family. However, her second family spoiled her big last night with dinner, gifts and individual words of affirmation spoken straight to her heart.

Kenna and her “little sisters” Ashley, Hope & Brooke.

Today her fabulous and servant-hearted boyfriend will deliver our gift to her. I’d snatch a pic of the two of them from Facebook and post it here but since I’ve not asked his permission, I’ll pass. Don’t want to upset the man. (I mean its not like I’m all stalker-ish and thoroughly checked him out on Twitter and Facebook before they started dating, going back to his posts from as far back as three years ago or anything. Moms don’t do stuff like that. {wink} )

Ahem…

So Happy Birthday to our Mackenzie Leith Ehman. Our Half-Pint. Kenzie-doodle. Peanut. Kiddo. Kenna-bob.

We love you!

{NOTE: I’ll return later this week to post pictures from my Focus on the Family trip and host a guest on Friday with an encouraging giveaway. Also, if you want to be in on helping me with my next book and dvd project, sign-up to be one of my Go-to Gals by clicking here. I’m getting ready to survey them for their opinion and ideas on the topic.)

I’m kind of skipping Mothers Day this year.

Oh, I sent cards to all the grandmas from the hubby, kids and me. And we’ll call them later to wish them a happy day.

I mean me. Sometimes selfish me.

Me– who looks around at the beautiful pieces of fine jewelry or the expensive pieces of clothing some moms get this day and gets a bit jealous.

Don’t get me wrong. My family has done some wonderful things for me on Mothers Days’ past– given me a lovely leather journal that they’d all written their love in; treated me to me an old-fashioned foot washing as they each told me what they loved about me. Lovely gifts. Heartfelt sentiments.

But other years, due to busyness, it was the typical dad-runs-to-the-dollar-store-for-a-card-at-the-last-minute-and-has-everyone-sign-it. Oh, and along with it, some flowers from the grocery store and a Sunday dinner out.

On those years, I should smile and be thankful. And I do.

Outwardly.

Inwardly, I feel slighted. I kick into martyr mom mode. My mind spins and sins, “After all I do for you people–this is what thanks I get? You couldn’t even think ahead or think beyond a discount parental “package deal” of a cheap card and shrunk-wrapped flowers with a bright orange mark-down sticker? Seriously?” 

My thankfulness goes out the door and–along with it—a verse I memorized years ago but have trouble living out, “Rejoice always! Pray constantly. Give thanks in everything, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

This year will be different. This year I will give thanks. And rejoice. And pray throughout the day. Here’s why:

Pastors wife Kay Warren, whose precious son took his own life recently.

The moms of the children and adults murdered at Sandy Hook.

Or the ones of the victims who died at the hands of the Boston Marathon bombers.

The mothers of our brave servants who were killed in Benghazi.

Or the many who have lost children who served our country in uniform. And more.

This Mothers Day–the first without their beloved children–how they would love a last-minute card or a bouquet from the bargain bin.

If only their children were still here.

In my own life, there are more for whom this day will be difficult. A widow facing her first Mother’s Day alone since this year the kids are all grown and gone.

Another friend whose husband was just plucked out of her life leaving her home alone with the kids trying to figure out a new normal.

Another who struggles with infertility and has no child to make her a mother this day. For yet another year.

Two weeks ago our youngest child asked to go up north with a friend fishing this weekend. “Are ya kidding me? Its Mothers Day!” was my first line of thinking.

Until I remembered his friend’s situation. He has no mother. She died when he was five. His brave dad is raising two teen boys all alone. A fun fishing trip might be just the ticket to help this family get through a Mothers Day weekend without mom. Again.

So I smiled and said yes and I asked this dad’s favorite dessert to have it waiting when he drops my boy off tonight–who will be smiling and smelling of fresh-caught perch. (The aroma of the blackberry cobbler will cancel out the fish fragrance, I hope?)

So today, I won’t pout. I won’t sulk. I won’t let comparisons be the thief of my joy. I’ve told my three kiddos and handsome hubby I am skipping Mothers Day. We can celebrate it on Fathers Day when our kids will all be at home.

Today is “pause and pray” day instead. Whenever I spy reminders of the day– the corsages on the grandmas at church, or the jam-packed parking lots at the area restaurants where many moms are getting the day off from cooking, or even the distracted dads making a last-minute dash into our local dollar store–I will take it as God’s cue to whisper a prayer for the dear moms who no longer have their child on earth. Or the brave dads and kids going it alone today in a world celebrating moms while they have none.

Yes, rejoice always–pray constantly–give thanks in ALL things.

That’s on my docket today.

Mothers Day can wait.

Hey friends– I am leaving this morning for a whirlwind 36-hour trip to Colorado to bring the message of LET. IT. GO. the the audience of Focus on the Family.

I LOVE going to record at Focus. The scenery is beautiful and the people are fabulous.

Prayers appreeciated!

I’ll be back Monday– hopefully with some cool pictures of the mountains!

In the mean time, don’t forget to check out  my latest project:

The “Pause Before You Pounce” Challenge includes five days of encouraging and practical short devotions that will not only inspire you to interact prayerfully and properly with the members of your family, it will also give you some practical ways to do it along with a small daily challenge designed to bring BIG change! Oh, and a memory verse on anger to work on over the course of the challenge. The idea-packed emails will automatically come to you daily for five days starting with the day you sign up.

Register  to participate in the free 5 Day “Pause Before You Pounce” Challenge by clicking here.

ALSO NOTE: Would you like to get over $75 worth of FREE motherhood resources including  sample chapters, e-books, Bible studies, and encouraging and practical printables on motherhood stress, prayer, and home management ideas as well as a Bible reading log? How about several MP3 downloads of messages on mothering as well as a coupon code to get the LET. IT. GO. dvd/one participant’s guide curriculum bundle 40% off? Curious? Click here for details.

Ever have times when, while interacting with family members around the house, you are certain you are going to blow your stack?

The chores aren’t done on time—or in the right way. Someone makes a complete mess of an area you just spent a great deal of time cleaning. The kids are sluggish getting out the door to an event and now it threatens to make the entire family late. Something you asked someone to do didn’t get done and now it messes up your day. And on and on and on…..

Interruptions. Inconvienences. Delays. Derailments.

Messes. Mishaps. Mayhem……that’s Motherhood!!

When you can’t always control the look of your house–or the actions of those living in it–do you sometimes also have a hard time controlling your temper and your tongue? Do you find yourself behaving biblically backwards—being slow to listen, quick to speak and quick to become angry?

This “Pause Before You Pounce” Challenge includes five days of encouraging and practical short devotions that will not only inspire you to interact prayerfully and properly with the members of your family, it will also give you some practical ways to do it along with a small daily challenge designed to bring BIG change! Oh, and a memory verse on anger to work on over the course of the challenge. The idea-packed emails will automatically come to you daily for five days starting with the day you sign up.

Register  to participate in the free 5 Day “Pause Before You Pounce” Challenge by clicking here.

ALSO NOTE: Would you like to get over $75 worth of FREE motherhood resources including  sample chapters, e-books, Bible studies, and encouraging and practical printables on motherhood stress, prayer, and home management ideas as well as a Bible reading log? How about several MP3 downloads of messages on mothering as well as a coupon code to get the LET. IT. GO. dvd/one participant’s guide curriculum bundle 40% off? Curious? Click here for details.

Have you read my current  Proverbs 31 devotion The Micro-managing Mama? If you haven’t, click here to see what all the fuss here today is about. Be sure to come back.

Happy Mothers Day—-a bit early. But have I got some freebies for you!

First, check out my free 5-Day “Pause Before You Pounce” Challenge.

When you can’t always control the look of your house–or the actions of those living in it–do you sometimes also have a hard time controlling your temper and your tongue? Do you find yourself behaving biblically backwards—being slow to listen, quick to speak and quick to become angry?

This “Pause Before You Pounce” Challenge includes five days of encouraging and practical devotions that will not only inspire you to interact prayerfully and properly with the members of your family, it will also give you some practical ways to do it along with a small daily challenge designed to bring BIG change! The idea-packed emails will automatically come to you daily for five days starting with the day you sign up. Click here for details.

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Next— here is a great Mother’s Day deal for you!

Purchase any of the resources shown below through Proverbs 31 Ministries from now until May 31st and you are eligible to receive over $75 worth of downloadable products FREE that are designed to help make you a better mom.  Simply email a copy of your receipt from your purchase to motherhoodfreebies@karenehman.com.

These free resources include sample chapters, e-books, Bible studies, and encouraging and practical printables on motherhood stress, prayer, and home management ideas as well as a Bible reading log. There are also several MP3 downloads of messages on mothering as well as a coupon code to get the LET. IT. GO. dvd/one participant’s guide curriculum bundle 40% off.

These encouraging items are by Proverbs 31 Ministries’ own Lysa TerKeurst, Renee Swope, Karen Ehman, Glynnis Whitwer, Lynn Cowell, Tracie Miles, and Wendy Blight as well as authors and speakers Dr. Henry Cloud, John Townsend, Gary Thomas, Jill Savage of Hearts at Home, Courtney Joseph of Women Living Well, Rachel Wojarnoski, Amy Bayliss, Darlene Schacht from Time Warp Wife, and Ruth Schwenk of The Better Mom.

Here’s how it works:

1. Click on the image of any resource shown below to take you to the Proverbs 31 Ministries store. Purchase at least one of the products shown from Proverbs 31. Sorry but purchases through Amazon &  sites other than Proverbs 31 will not be eligible. (Please note that I do not make a profit on any of the books, including my own. All the profit goes straight to Proverbs 31 so we can help bring God’s peace, perspective and purpose to today’s busy woman)
2. Email a copy of your receipt from your purchase from Proverbs 31 to motherhoodfreebies@karenehman.com (just forward your receipt or email a scanned copy)
3. Once we see your receipt, you will be emailed a link to the free resources.
4. Enjoy the freebies as you seek to become the mom God wants you to be!

That’s it! Now, happy shopping! Purchase any one of these books, dvd’s, cd’s or our new devotional Bible to qualify to get the free resources. DON’T FORGET you must send a copy of the receipt to motherhoodfreebies@karenehman.com to get the free resources. They will not be sent automatically.

Click on the image to take you to the product in the Proverbs 31 store.