Sometimes being a parent is pure pleasure.

Holding a newborn baby and marveling at the life in your hand; the picture of the love between you and your spouse. Watching your toddler discover the world; to learn to take those first wobbly steps. Seeing your child master a skill; to ride a bike; to play the piano; to knock a baseball clear out of the park. Or witnessing them develop good character; raking leaves for the neighbor; returning to a store after they discover they were given too much change.

Such discoveries make a parent’s heart proud.

But other times, being a parent is pure pain.

Those times when you watch your child make a wrong move; choose a wrong path, or hold a wrong view. How much easier it is when they are young and you can simply make them “do the right thing”. How painful it is when they are older, to let them begin to make their own mistakes and then, learn the painful lessons that those choices often bring.

A friend recently asked me what is the best parenting advice I’d been given. I answered, “To pray that God will allow your kids to experience whatever they need to (mistakes and all) in order to become totally and completely sold out and living for Him. And that they will know that we love them unconditionally no matter what.”

What a frightening prayer!

Earlier this week, I posted a devotion about how sometimes we can have a hard time separating our identity from our child’s choices. (You can read the devotion here.)

As parents, tethering our identity to our child’s behavior can cause us to control, shelter, or make decision for our kids.

My greatest fear as a parent has not been having a wild child, but having one who is playing “good church kid” and is obedient on the outside, but who does not have a real relationship with Christ and later, chucks all things Christian as a young adult. Unfortunately, I’ve seen it happen DOZENS of times!

I’d rather have a child who is honest, wrestles with real faith and then, in God’s perfect timing, makes it their own. Of course we attempt to train them in the ways of the Lord. We try to let them experience His work in our lives. We look for opportunities to point them to God. We certainly are not perfect in this, but it is our heart’s desire. But we remember that how we finish is more important than how we start. But we moms can be fearful and freak out because we equate a “perfect-yes-ma’am-no-sir-quiet-outwardly-obedient-envy-of-the-moms-at-church” child with success as a parent.

A child who is a pistol means we are a “bad mom/” However…..fast forward many years. Sometimes (of course not always) the “perfect” ones are living life on the wild and sinful side and the “pistols”?  Well..they are totally sold out to Jesus.

Don’t try to shove your child in the perfect box.

They don’t always fit. And some kick the box open and run for the unholy hills.

Yes, sometimes parenting is painful. But seeing a child make a wrong choice and then, when confronted, exhibit honest remorse, a real change in behaviour and a renewed commitment to Christ…..well…..in a strange way, that can be a pure pleasure too.

Hang in there! Parenting is always a mixture of pain and pleasure.

Will you be so bold today to ask God that he will allow your kids to experience whatever they need (mistakes and all( to become completely obedient to him?

Your days are full, you’re tired, and you’re craving quiet for your soul.
You’re not alone.

If days filled with obligations and never-ending to-do lists leave you feeling anxious and overwhelmed, you can find the peace your soul longs for. In Settle My Soul, authors Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk invite you to carve out a few moments in your day to deepen your relationship with the Lord through 100 encouraging devotions.

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