Missy figured she’d be able to finagle getting the books if she had enough time. The problem was making sure Loretta didn’t get there until really, really late. Plus, she would have to make sure Loretta never realized that Missy had had anything to do with her not getting the books. She knew from past experience that Loretta was a vindictive bitch who would stop at nothing to make Missy’s life hell. Missy knew she would never win that battle in her lifetime. She had no desire to stand watch over her car or bookstore 24 hours a day.

*           *           *

Loretta grinned as she closed up The Book Nook and headed home. The call earlier from Joyce down at the Flea Market Exchange had made her day. Heck, it had made her entire week. Finding out that Joyce had a teeny little money problem had been a real gift. Even better was discovering that Joyce was more than open to a little financial assistance to help with that problem.

Loretta snorted as she thought about the look on Missy Johnson’s pudgy little face when she discovered she had once again lost out on the paperback books for her precious little shop. Missy was stupid and would never in a million years figure out what was going on. She would just assume Loretta had gotten there ahead of her once again and would slink away with the leftovers. Joyce had let it slip that Missy was getting to the Flea Market Exchange earlier and earlier in the hopes of getting her hands on the books. That alone was worth the extra money she was paying Joyce for the privilege.

Loretta pulled up outsider her house and backed up the driveway. Even though she didn’t have to leave early, she needed enough time to get the books and get back to The Book Nook and get the new books set up.

*          *           *

Once the Bookworm had been tidied and locked up for the night, Missy settled the cats, cleaned the house and did 3 loads of laundry until she figured it was late enough that she could make a little run up to Grand Marais. At this hour, no one would have a clue she had even stepped foot outside her house.

Of course, the cats new, she thought as she drove off, their little faces watching her from the upstairs window. But she knew they would never give her away. Especially after the extra tuna she had given them as a treat earlier.

Missy drove the winding road carefully. She had more than once surprised deer and several black bears on the road in the past. Tonight was not the night for an accident or anything else.

But the drive went smoothly and Missy found herself at Loretta’s road sooner than she expected. She turned off the lights as she turned the corner and pulled over. Her heart started pounding so hard she thought it was going to jump right out of her chest and it completely blocked out the sound of the grasshoppers.

She gazed at Loretta’s house. All the lights were out and there was nothing stopping her from just getting on with it.

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, she thought. She had never done anything like this before in her life. And what if she got caught?

Then she thought about what Elaine had told her again and all the anger of this morning came rushing back. It wasn’t right that Loretta was bribing Joyce to give her the books. The Flea Market Exchange was supposed to be fair and impartial. It was supposed to be first come, first served.

Her resolve returned and she got out of the car. She carefully eased the door shut so the sound wouldn’t give her away. She looked at dark house and took a deep breath. Clutching her tools in her hand, she made her way up the driveway, thankful Loretta didn’t have a dog.

DNR Closes Trails at the Enchantment River State Park

After the heavy rains and strong winds last week, the DNR had to close down the Enchantment River State Park because of downed trees and wet trails. The Enchantment River overflowed in several places, causing all kinds of havoc and making hiking hazardous.

The Devil’s Cauldron was said to be overflowing at one point, making the lower part of the park particularly dangerous.

Harry Peterson down at the Bide-a-Wee Motel tells us he’s just about full up right now due to people staying over a bit extra just in case they can get back to the hiking in the Park, but they’re still waiting on the DNR to open it up. Harry says he’ll make you a deal, but there’s only two cabins, so you might want to call real quick.

Hikers along the Superior Hiking Trail are urged to be careful where they choose to pitch their tents as more rain is expected. Campsites closer to the Cascade or Judge Magney State Parks are a better choice right now.

*             *             *

Hjalmar Iron Ore Corn & Pumpkin Maze

A reminder from Frank Munger that the Hjalmar Iron Ore Corn & Pumpkin Maze is set to open next week. But this year, they’re asking people to keep their kids on a leash so they don’t go climbing the taconite and squashing the corn. Last year it took out half the maze and closed it a week early. So keep those kids on a tight leash and leave the dogs at home!

And don’t forget the pumpkin carving contest on each Saturday the maze is open.

*             *             *

Annual Lefse Contest

The Ladies of the Lutefisk Luthern Church are holding their annual Lefse Contest next Saturday. They ask everyone to remember that this year there will be a category for butter and a category for margarine after last year’s dust-up between Midge Carpenter and Chris Norton.

Coffee, tea and pickled herring will be served following the final judging.

*             *             *

UFO’s may have been spotted at Storm Point

A meeting of the UFO Society of Storm Point met this last week during the break in the weather, and told us they saw at least three UFO’s were spotted off Storm Point.

However we have it on good authority that members of the Remote Control Aircraft society had an impromptu get-together on the tip of Storm Point and it could be that the UFO Society only saw their airplanes and not UFO’s as reported.

Which meant that by the time she got there, the best paperbacks (and especially the romance novels) were dried up history and Missy’s choices were all kinds of things she didn’t particularly care for. Or read, for that matter.

Oh, she still took those on because there were some people in Ruby Cove who liked those kinds of books and she wasn’t going to snub her nose at that. But the ones she really wanted were already in Loretta’s clutches. The worst part of it was that some of her best customers would go straight to Loretta when they found out that they couldn’t get what they wanted from Missy.

And Missy had just about had it with that.

Especially after getting the call from Elaine Hoffman this morning. Elaine worked for an importer at the Flea Market Exchange and had become a good friend over the years. They often commiserated over coffee together after Missy was finished picking through the left-overs.

Elaine’s voice had dropped dramatically after the usual exchange of how-are-you’s and what’s-new-with-you’s. “I heard from Margo that there’s going to be a huge bunch of books tomorrow. Huge.”

Missy sucked in her breath at the thought.

“How huge?” she finally asked, her own voice a mere whisper.

“Like five or six really big boxes,” Elaine told her.

Missy nearly forgot to breathe. “How on earth did you find out?” She knew Elaine was nowhere near the inside gossip at the Market, and was usually the last one to find anything out.

Elaine giggled. “In the women’s room.”

“What?”

Elaine giggled again. “I was in one of the stalls and was just about to come out when I heard Joyce and that geeky assistant of hers come in.”

“How’d you know it was them?”

“Because Loretta has that stupid laugh,” Elaine said, as if Missy should have figured that out.   “Becky said something and then Joyce started snorting. So I kept really quiet and then Joyce said, ‘Becky, you are the most ingenious person I’ve ever met. Loretta will give us double for that.’”

Missy gasped. “She really said that?”

“She did.” Elaine knew how much Missy wanted to get her hands on those books first. They’d had enough consolation drinks after the Market to know one heck of a lot about each other at that point.

“Then what?” Missy just had to know what Loretta had cooked up.

“Then…” Elaine paused dramatically.

Missy wanted to strangle her, but merely gripped the phone tightly. “Elaine!”

“Well…” Elaine paused again for effect before delivering the goodies. “Joyce said something about this big shipment coming from some estate sale in the Cities and said Loretta would have a cow if she knew how many books there were going to be. And then Becky said that in this case, she should be prepared to give them double the fee since there were triple the number of books than usual.”

“Wow.” Missy’s imagination was swamped by the thought of all those books. Then she realized that Elaine had also stumbled on the whole reason Loretta was so darned lucky. “Oh! That bitch!”

“Yeah. But at least now you know.”

“Phht.” Missy couldn’t help making the rude noise. “I don’t suppose you overheard where they were keeping them, did you?”

“It sounded like the usual place.”

“But they didn’t say?”

“Nope.”

After she hung up, Missy’s eyes narrowed as she thought of the way those skunks had arranged to make sure Loretta got all the good stuff. It wasn’t fair.

Missy considered calling the Flea Market Exchange, then realized it might not change a darned thing. No one was likely to believe her and Loretta would still get the books tomorrow anyway.

Missy had once called Joyce and tried to wheedle her way in the night before or maybe an hour early, but Joyce wouldn’t even considered it. Now she knew why. She had had a sneaking suspicion that Loretta was doing something like that, but couldn’t prove it. All she knew was that she had often seen Loretta having lunch or whatever with Joyce and they seemed to be awfully good friends.

But this was even worse that her original suspicion. She never would have guessed that Loretta was paying extra just to get those books first.

Well, things were going to change. At least if Missy had her way. And this time she was determined that she would.

“A bit early, doncha think?” we asked.

“Nope.  Gonna be a hard winter this year,” Jorgenson said.  And he went right back to cutting up the downed timbers like the first snowflakes were already starting to fall.

Now we have to point out that the weather guys down at WCCO in the Cities haven’t said much about this.  But since old Hjalmar has never been wrong yet, the Norske News suggests laying in an extra cord or two of wood and maybe some birch to go along with it – just in case.

* * * * *

Ole and Lena’s Diner has a special this week on Swedish pancakes with lingonberry jam.  But they didn’t make a lot of of the lingonberry jam, so get there early.  You might even be able to take home a bottle or two if you’re lucky.

* * * * *

The Shipwreck Society wants to remind everyone that this month they’ll be checking the grounds just south of Storm Point to see if anything more has washed up from the shipwreck of the Stranger that went down in 1875.

You might recall there was quite the excitement last month when a part of the poop deck floated into Shipwreck Bay.  The Society is hoping for a few more lucky finds after the big storm that went through here last week.

After securing any artifacts, they’ll be meeting in the Norwegian Room at the Storm Point Lodge for hot apple cider and pie and will be discussing new discoveries about the sinking of the Stranger and some of the other lost ships along the North Shore.

* * * * *

And, lastly, we heard that an unexpected deluge of romances just arrived at the Bookworm in Ruby Cove.  Missy Johnson says that she’s already put some of them on the reserved list for her regulars, so you might want to get there to see what’s there before they’re all snapped up

There is this thing currently going around tumblr about why dating a writer is good. I think it’s nice that this thing is going around, because I like writers, and lots of us could use more dates. As a writer who has dated people, though — including other writers — I would like to offer some correctives to this list.

The items in bold are the alleged reasons to date a writer. The author replaced the original commentary with their bleak corrective, in lightface.  Here are the first 5:

1. Writers will romance you with words. We probably won’t. We write for ourselves or for money and by the time we’re done we’re sick of it. If we have to write you something there’s a good chance it’ll take us two days and we’ll be really snippy and grumpy about the process.
2. Writers will write about you. You don’t want this. Trust me.
3. Writers will take you to interesting events. No. We will not. We are busy writing. Leave us alone about these “interesting events.” I know one person who dates a terrific writer. He goes out alone. She is busy writing.
4. Writers will remind you that money doesn’t matter so much. Yes. We will do this by borrowing money from you. Constantly.
5. Writers will acknowledge you and dedicate things to you. A better way to ensure this would be to become an agent. That way you’d actually make money off of talking people through their neuroses.

Read the rest at http://agrammar.tumblr.com/post/1127991128/offended-by-rank-objectification-of-writers