http://kateoneill.me A little more information than anyone asked for. posterous.com Mon, 31 Dec 2012 18:30:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/Ycu2gSUViuI/so-long-2012-you-axe-wielding-psycho http://kateoneill.me/so-long-2012-you-axe-wielding-psycho <p> <p>I'll tell you straight up:&nbsp;2012 seemed as if it came at me like a psycho with an axe.</p> <p>I mean, intense personal loss is usually enough to color the character of an entire calendar year. Going through a nearly year-long period of physical pain would probably be sufficient grounds to write the year off as frustrating at best. But between Karsten's death in June and the near-disability that resulted from multiple bulging discs from&nbsp;May through December, my entire life was thrown into chaos. My ability to focus was strained considerably, to say the least. I had planned early on for a big year for my company, gearing up new programs and growing sales and staff, and we did do well -- <em>really</em> well, all things considered -- but that growth was scaled back drastically from what I anticipated and hoped for. To complicate things further, in addition to my own challenges, literally dozens of my friends went through divorces and breakups and other personal losses, and the impact on my social circles and the community overall was seismic. At this point, you can probably picture 2012, the axe-wielding psycho, in position and ready to chop.&nbsp;</p> <p>But in the midst of all that insanity, the year did a few things right, if you tilt your head at a certain angle. It taught me how to ask for (and accept) help. It showed me how loving and supportive my friends, family, staff, and community are. And it showed me how strong and resilient I always hoped I was, but never had proof of. Now I do.&nbsp;</p> <p>Because it would have been damned easy to assume a victim mentality this year, and I resisted indulging in it. It would have been easy beyond description to dwell in depression, despair, or at least a deep melancholy, and truthfully some of that was, at a few points, unavoidable and, I do realize, perfectly reasonable. But even throughout those times, I adamantly sought joyful moments and meaningful interactions, and so much more often than not, I&nbsp;found them.&nbsp;</p> <p>So even if 2012 wasn't an axe-wielding psycho, as it is totally tempting to claim, it was at least something of a scenery-chewing bad actor that didn't know when enough was enough. Yet, as Karsten always said, you have more to learn from a bad example than a good one. And as much as I'd like to give 2012 the middle finger as it ham-handedly exits the stage, I think instead I'll give it credit for demonstrating some toughlove lessons, and leave it at that.&nbsp;</p> <p>One of the biggest of those lessons has been that when life knocks you on your ass, there's nothing so motivating as the simple triumph of getting up and moving forward. And even when moving forward isn't possible, merely <em>looking</em> forward will do.&nbsp;</p> <p>So in the spirit of looking and moving forward, I'm batting my eyelashes at 2013 and smiling my best smile. What I'm hoping for is this:&nbsp;</p> <ul> <li>to remember how to ask for and accept help, and become more resourceful and self-reliant anyway</li> <li>to maintain the strength of the friendships that formed in the midst of crisis and chaos this summer and beyond</li> <li>to keep enjoying life's pleasures, however small, however fleeting, even when the odds seemed stacked in favor of sadness.</li> </ul> <p>A year from now, when I write a reflection on 2013, I hope I can sigh with delight and say it was my best year yet. And I hope you will, too. But in case it turns out to be psychotic, stick with me. I already know how to get through a crazy year.</p> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/so-long-2012-you-axe-wielding-psycho">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/so-long-2012-you-axe-wielding-psycho#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/Ycu2gSUViuI" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/so-long-2012-you-axe-wielding-psycho Sun, 04 Nov 2012 14:04:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/AzhImkXXvso/mixed-metaphors-and-life-after-death http://kateoneill.me/mixed-metaphors-and-life-after-death <p> <p>You might not know it by what I've written here in the last few months, but I swear I can be a whole lot of fun. I really do think about many topics besides death. I laugh far, far more often than I cry. And I smile most of the time. I just do. But almost invariably, the moments that seem to merit deeper examination in writing are those when I'm pulling together my thoughts about life in a big picture sense. And the thing about life is, death is what puts it in sharpest perspective.&nbsp;</p> <p>So excuse my returning to the subject yet again, but I've got life after death on my mind. Not the eternal kind, shrouded in uncertainty, but the unquestionable way your own life continues after someone you love dies. It's on my mind because tomorrow it will have been seven years since&nbsp;<a href="http://kateo.livejournal.com/2005/11/05/" target="_blank">my dad died</a>.&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1">I realize what a challenging thing this is to try to articulate, but ever since Karsten's death, one of the many things I've found myself feeling grateful for is that I had some experience coping with significant loss already. Obviously I'm not in any way saying that I'm grateful that my dad died; just that if those events&mdash;losing my father and losing my husband&mdash;had to happen in my life, that at least the ordering of them feels somehow merciful. When Karsten died, I had the beginnings of an idea of what to expect from grief and how it would feel as I tried to move forward once the initial shock had cleared.&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1">I find myself thinking and talking a lot about the idea of forward motion, because there's this fairly intuitive way in which recovery and healing is like a journey. But the experience is dimensional in ways that one metaphor doesn't adequately describe. So I also find myself thinking and talking about regrowth. In the last blog post I wrote here, "<a href="http://kateoneill.me/on-choosing-what-to-keep" target="_blank">On choosing what to keep</a>," I mentioned how&nbsp;<a href="http://kateo.livejournal.com/145034.html" target="_blank">I read from the poem "In Blackwater Woods" at my dad's funeral</a>&nbsp;and I quoted the last few lines of that poem, about loving deeply and letting go, which are the lines that run through my head most often. But the poem also starts with imagery about fall and the turning leaves, and brings to mind how everything in nature moves cyclically toward a kind of death with only a vague notion of the idea of "salvation." Spring and regrowth, which may be what "salvation" really is, seem abstract and far-off as the days get shorter and colder and everything seems bare and exposed.&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1">And here we are with the leaves turning around us, and the days getting shorter and colder, and everything seeming exposed, and spring seeming far away. But regrowth in nature isn't really as abstract as the concept of salvation. It's just that in winter, growth is sometimes happening where you can't see it.&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1">After seven years of missing my dad and learning what grief means in the long run, I know there's no rushing regrowth. But I also know how much happens under the surface, and how strong I've become and am still becoming in ways few people can see.&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1">There's another metaphor to add to this already convoluted mix, too. It's a story I've been telling a few close friends to try to explain my state of mind, and it goes like this: in the late '90s, when I was working in my first Silicon Valley startup, I had a coworker named Rick who was really into physics. One day, a group of coworkers were out for a team lunch in a restaurant with paper placemats and crayons, and while we waited for our food I started doodling. I've always had a fondness for art that incorporates words and imagery, so whenever I draw anything, even for a goof, I tend to listen for a phrase that seems meaningful. I don't remember what it was about physics that Rick was describing, but at some point he jokingly summarized whatever he was saying with &ldquo;they expanded space, but compressed time, so it was OK.&rdquo; I immediately wrote those words around the outside of my placemat and drew some kind of visual interpretation of that concept. I had no idea why I was so attracted to it, but somehow it stuck with me all these years.</p> <p class="p1">The way I think of it now, when you face the reality of death, you simultaneously confront the certainty of mortality, the enormity of all life, the insignificance of our lifespan in the overall continuum of time, and the myopia of our usual moment-by-moment perspective. Suddenly, the horizon looks wider, there is more depth to all experience, and everything&mdash;everything&mdash;seems both more trivial and more urgent. In other words, space expands, and time compresses. And it is OK.</p> <p class="p1">At least for a while. Like I said, having been through life after death before, I know that eventually that perspective readjusts: the horizon narrows a little, and the feeling that life is so, so short begins to subside just enough.</p> <p class="p1">That readjustment doesn't just take time, though, despite what conventional wisdom might have you believe. It takes a bit of practice, and deliberately exposing yourself to the vastness of the reality so that you can strengthen your stride for the forward motion. I know what I did there, but it really does take all those metaphors just to come close to describing the process as I see it.</p> <p class="p1">And I'm really motivated to describe it. Not just for myself, but for other people who may&mdash;will&mdash;eventually face life after death.&nbsp;I don't think we, culturally or socially, do a very good job of preparing people for it. There's work involved, and some new ways of seeing things.</p> <p class="p1">As an insight into my own process, I will share that I have a Spotify playlist called "musical therapy" with a bunch of songs that I strongly associate with Karsten. I listened to it while I was in the shower this morning, cried some, and then sat down and wrote a song about memories, what you keep as you move forward, and what you really can let go of. And now I'm smiling and feeling strong and healthy. I miss my dad, I miss Karsten, and the healing has been hard work, but I'm clearly both moving forward and regrowing. I don't care if I'm mixing metaphors; the horizon is still pretty wide, and there's room enough to see it a few different ways.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/mixed-metaphors-and-life-after-death">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/mixed-metaphors-and-life-after-death#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/AzhImkXXvso" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/mixed-metaphors-and-life-after-death Sun, 22 Jul 2012 16:56:00 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/5SmyJgz6eww/on-choosing-what-to-keep http://kateoneill.me/on-choosing-what-to-keep <p> <p>Tomorrow it will have been four weeks since Karsten died. Wednesday will be one month.&nbsp;</p> <p>Dates have been whizzing by me while I try to get back to my life, to the extent that that's been possible, and I find here and there I've lost track of how many days or weeks it's been. Not that it really matters anyway: every seemingly insignificant moment has the potential to bring about some subtle new realization in how to heal. There's no calendar for that kind of thing. &nbsp;</p> <p>It's like trying to decide when our relationship began. We kissed (and really meant it!) on the night we first met&nbsp;- did it begin then? We always celebrated that date as our "meeting anniversary" so sure, in one respect it was the beginning. But a few days passed before our next date (which was, of course, our first date) where sitting across from each other at dinner felt like floating in some warm ocean of both excitement and calm and you're dizzy and happy and you never want to get out. And then a day or two later, we spent our first night together and it was amazing and then maybe a few weeks later, we moved in together&hellip; you get the idea. Love unfolds in layers, even when it happens lightning fast.&nbsp;</p> <blockquote> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">"Why is it we don't always recognize the moment when love begins, but we always know when it ends?"</p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">- Steve Martin (as Harris K. Telemacher) in "L.A. Story" (1991)</p> </blockquote> <p>The finality of that quote probably makes me sound more morose than I am. The truth - the astonishing truth - is that I'm OK. Or at least I'm on the road to OK, and I have a full enough tank to get there, and I'll probably arrive before anyone expects. I didn't predict that. I always thought that if Karsten died, I wouldn't be able to survive the loss. I mean it: I truly, honestly didn't think I would go on breathing. But the weird and maybe ultimately logical thing is that the simple act of surviving something as catastrophic as finding your beloved partner dead - well, it feels very much like a "kill you or make you stronger" moment, and it didn't actually kill me. So as it turns out, I guess I've gotten stronger.&nbsp;</p> <p>Of course - of&nbsp;<em>course</em>&nbsp;- there's a sizable part of me that wishes I could still be with him, but I can also see the years we spent together as a gift, rather than seeing the years we lost as a theft.&nbsp;</p> <p>I'm totally broken about it in some ways, and looking at photos and watching the few videos I have of him are simultaneously comforting and painful, but what isn't broken is my ability to love: I know I'll love Karsten for the rest of my life; I love the friends who have stepped up to surround me with caring and generosity and safety and support; and at some point in the not-too-distant future, I will, almost certainly, begin to love someone else, because above all that's the message in this that resounds for me: life is too short and too fragile to miss any moment when you could be loving someone.&nbsp;</p> <p>When my dad died in 2005,&nbsp;<a href="http://kateo.livejournal.com/145034.html" target="_blank">I read the poem "In Blackwater Woods"</a>&nbsp;at his funeral, and the last part of it has been echoing back through my head since Karsten died:&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <blockquote> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">To live in this world&nbsp;</p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">you must be able<br />to do three things:<br />to love what is mortal;<br />to hold it</p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">against your bones knowing<br />your own life depends on it;<br />and, when the time comes to let it go,<br />to let it go.</p> </blockquote> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>It's not as easy a process as the poem suggests, that whole "let it go" thing. But I'm figuring it out, day by day, hour by hour. The trick, I realized, is choosing what you'll let yourself keep. I already own, deep down, a lot of wonderful, meaningful, life-changing things about Karsten and this love we shared for nearly fifteen years. And they're aspects of him and his impact on me that I'll want to hold onto forever. The rest of this I can let slowly fall away.&nbsp;</p> <p>And by doing that, I get a clearer glimpse of my life ahead of me having definition beyond tragedy: when the number of people I haven't seen since Karsten died will decrease, and every interaction won't begin or end with condolences or questions. I'm already stronger than some might suspect, and I keep getting stronger. And there's this: I know I have love still to give. I'm good at it. When a relationship lasts and works, it's not only because you fell in love however many years ago; it's because you give each other enough room to be yourselves, and because each of you adapts and learns to love each other for the people you grow into, day after day, time and time again. I've been genuinely, beautifully in love with the same person for well over a third of my life, but it's because I fell in love so many times with the ever-evolving version of who he really was, as he did for me. A part of me, a big part of me, will always love him. But I want the rest of my life to be the total package, too: the highs that inevitably bring the lows, not a compromised lesser version based in the fear of the possibility that I might lose love again. I could never trade amazing for adequate.&nbsp;</p> <p>So it comes back to holding onto only what matters, what won't weigh you down, what strengthens you, and what prepares you for the rest of your life, rather than what anchors you to the past and kills you even while you're alive. It comes back to what you choose to keep.&nbsp;</p> <p>As for me, I choose beauty. I choose to engage with people and to try, if I can, to create a moment of art out of conversation. I choose to see life and the world and everything in it as clearly as I can see it, and to honor the truth about it, even if it's harsh. I choose good times and happiness and laughter, as often as I can. And no matter what the potential is for loss, I will always, always choose love.&nbsp;</p> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/on-choosing-what-to-keep">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/on-choosing-what-to-keep#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/5SmyJgz6eww" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/on-choosing-what-to-keep Thu, 28 Jun 2012 05:28:00 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/47taCqOFN3o/seeing-through-the-swirl http://kateoneill.me/seeing-through-the-swirl <p> <p>The human condition, I suppose, is to be capable of deep, thorough, feel-it-ache-in-your-bones love, and to be mortal anyway, and know you'll someday lose it, one way or the other. It is, inevitably, not fair.&nbsp;</p> <p>My partner/husband/best friend/co-conspirator/co-writer/better half/true love of my life, <a href="http://celebratingkarsten.com/" target="_blank">Karsten Soltauer</a>, left us Monday morning. But he also left behind a body of artwork that speaks even more loudly now that he has lost his beautiful voice.&nbsp;</p> <p>His voice.&nbsp;<br />I used to love talking with Karsten on the phone. I'd call him from the car on my drive home, even though my office is only about a mile away, because it gave me a few minutes to hear his voice on the phone. It was so sexy and soothing. I wish I had a recording of him telling me he loved me forever, as he did many times each day.&nbsp;</p> <p>Before we met, he'd experienced a loss of his own: his ex-girlfriend of nearly eight years had left him about a year prior, and he was nursing a broken heart. He channeled that pain into working through a series of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paper_marbling" target="_blank">marbled paper</a> found-image pieces. Karsten spent 80 hours per piece studying the random curls of color, shading the contours of the swirled patterns to reveal images. Like watching clouds for shapes, but then tracing them with marker into the sky so other people could see what he saw.</p> <p>Despite many, many experiments with style, form, and media, this was the central theme of Karsten's life-long artistic vision: finding what no one else would have spotted, or bothered to look for.&nbsp;</p> <p><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <a href="http://getfile7.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-06-28/dzrCDhIvabhbopmFFGhcCsitqfvAFrhGGuGqxrzpxxfyDfyxfIAgqhaCBJkv/62227_435445907307_7747229_n.jpeg.scaled1000.jpg"><img alt="62227_435445907307_7747229_n" height="651" src="http://getfile3.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-06-28/dzrCDhIvabhbopmFFGhcCsitqfvAFrhGGuGqxrzpxxfyDfyxfIAgqhaCBJkv/62227_435445907307_7747229_n.jpeg.scaled500.jpg" width="500" /></a> </div> <em>"Dual-Becharming Roseatte Thaumaturge" from the "Curvature of the Mind" series. Ink and colored pencil on paper. Copyright Karsten Soltauer</em></p> <p>I think perhaps the key to processing a loss this immense and intense is to embrace the bothness of it: I have never experienced one emotion without the potential for its complement. I am nowhere near the master observer of absurdity that Karsten was, but I have been his student for nearly fifteen years and maybe I can see it a bit more than most. But if devastating loss is a swing to the left from the emotional equilibrium, I sense there is the opening of an often unnoticed rather large area to the right, into gratitude, appreciation, abundance, humor, and moments of joy and peace.&nbsp;</p> <p>I already know from previous losses how this will work: the realities of day-to-day life will thrust the emotions from the darker side of the line upon me in poignant reminders everywhere while other people begin to forget a little yet I still live with the aching hole in my soul. I know this. It's the way of human nature. Our powerful brains are still too puny to sit with loss for very long, but grief has a way of slapping you in the face to get your attention.&nbsp;</p> <p>Like Karsten's "Curvature of the Mind" series, as he later named the swirling marbled pieces, there are treasures to be found in the chaos. You just have to really look for them. And pencil stroke by pencil stroke, you shade out what doesn't contribute to the picture you want to remain. But the bothness of it is that just as the oil and water needed to be mixed to make the paper, and the darker shadowing needs to be drawn in to see the colorful image more clearly, so do the dark emotions bring contrast to the lighter ones, and we can seek those out if we choose to. At least, that's my hope.&nbsp;</p> <p><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <a href="http://getfile3.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-06-28/JmCspxDalAnHkjawAEaGfnknyqkwAlbuovfaBHkIeFAezbnmtotbqffDkkEJ/headonhand.jpg.scaled1000.jpg"><img alt="Headonhand" height="486" src="http://getfile9.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-06-28/JmCspxDalAnHkjawAEaGfnknyqkwAlbuovfaBHkIeFAezbnmtotbqffDkkEJ/headonhand.jpg.scaled500.jpg" width="500" /></a> </div> <em>Karsten Soltauer</em></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/seeing-through-the-swirl">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/seeing-through-the-swirl#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/47taCqOFN3o" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/seeing-through-the-swirl Mon, 28 May 2012 06:33:00 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/uNJLxeJZ-MY/just-a-reminder-about-failure http://kateoneill.me/just-a-reminder-about-failure <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <img alt="Media_httpimgffffound_gtykt" height="360" src="http://getfile2.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/gvJsfhbjIypkJbafozHHjBgzGHqvjrFmzIaHycqoCICGdlionhByhBeejpvC/media_httpimgffffound_gtykt.jpg.scaled500.jpg" width="480" /> </div> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://ffffound.com/image/776a513f1a3402b2662491e42ae76731f598fc6c">ffffound.com</a></div> <p>Please go ahead and make mistakes. It's how you'll know for sure when you get it right.</p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/just-a-reminder-about-failure">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/just-a-reminder-about-failure#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/uNJLxeJZ-MY" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/just-a-reminder-about-failure Sun, 29 Apr 2012 07:25:00 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/7fb3DO2C7eY/is-vegan-food-healthy-by-definition http://kateoneill.me/is-vegan-food-healthy-by-definition <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <a href="http://getfile5.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/nudAAnppkGlCdqxEqGsqnFjCDitaIqtHnivrpiGmBAzogrqnasrJgoyEpvrq/media_httpwwwbonappet_Hghzc.jpg.scaled1000.jpg"><img alt="Media_httpwwwbonappet_hghzc" height="485" src="http://getfile3.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/nudAAnppkGlCdqxEqGsqnFjCDitaIqtHnivrpiGmBAzogrqnasrJgoyEpvrq/media_httpwwwbonappet_Hghzc.jpg.scaled500.jpg" width="500" /></a> </div> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://www.bonappetit.com/blogsandforums/blogs/badaily/2012/04/vegan-food-is-not-healthy.html">bonappetit.com</a></div> <p>A recent article on BonAppetit.com, "<a href="http://www.bonappetit.com/blogsandforums/blogs/badaily/2012/04/vegan-food-is-not-healthy.html#">I'm Sick of People Thinking Vegan Food is Healthy</a>," takes issue with the mock cheeses and meats in vegan restaurants that are meant to be palate-pleasers and imitative artistry. The author, <a href="http://www.bonappetit.com/blogsandforums/blogs/badaily/jason-kessler.html">Jason Kessler</a>, points out that these items often make liberal use of oils, refined grains, and other less-virtuous ingredients which, while still adhering to the vegan-means-plant-based-and-cruelty-free precept, provide little to no nutritional value.</p> <p>The article itself isn't inherently condemning of vegan diets, and it's not a bad reminder of what's (not) healthy, but it does conflate a few approaches. The faux meats and cheeses offered in vegan restaurants (and sold in traditionally healthier food stores like Whole Foods) may be nutritionally questionable, but they do serve a purpose.&nbsp;In fact,&nbsp;they're generally there to serve a few purposes: as accommodation for non-vegans dining, perhaps, with vegan friends; as comfort and a reasonable backslide for people just transitioning to a vegan diet; and as an occasional gleeful indulgence for established vegans looking for a decadent treat.</p> <p>In other words, if you're eating out at a vegan restaurant to be healthy, then by all means, order something healthy. (Where healthy means: plant stuff that is served in a state closest to whole.) Vegan restaurants tend to offer a broader range of plant-based whole food meals than other restaurants, and they can be a great place to experience foods you may have been otherwise unfamiliar with. Many people are still unfamiliar with quinoa, for example, or how to prepare kale at home. Vegan menus often offer variations on these ingredients that may be less superficially gratifying but far more nutritionally rewarding than that heaping bowl of mac-and-quasi-cheese.</p> <p>If, however, you already follow a generally healthy vegan lifestyle, buffalo-style seitan and other junk food on a vegan restaurant menu can be a welcome splurge, and eating this kind of food once in a while probably does very little long-term damage to one's health, while providing the vegan with a "cheat" option that's still cruelty-free. And in the end, that once-in-a-while indulgence may help vegans stay vegan longer, which is a strategic win for health: there is considerable research to support a good many health benefits to a long-term vegan diet that's based on (not exclusively limited to, but based on) whole-foods-style plant-centric eating.</p> <p>So while the faux meats and pseudo-cheese on the vegan restaurant menu may not be healthy, per se, as occasional treats they're not completely inconsistent with a healthy lifestyle.</p> <p>Whatever your diet, your eating choices should be all about finding a balance that keeps you motivated for long-term results. At least that's what I think. Which is why I splurged on a nachos plate and a BLT burger last week during my semi-annual visit to <a href="http://www.veggiediner.com/wp/">Chicago Diner</a>, and I felt just fine about it the next day as I went right back to munching on super-nutritious (and still delicious) raw food. My dietary balance is heavily skewed toward raw vegan superfoods, but just happens to include a serving of veggie bacon now and then.</p> </div> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/is-vegan-food-healthy-by-definition">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/is-vegan-food-healthy-by-definition#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/7fb3DO2C7eY" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/is-vegan-food-healthy-by-definition Wed, 18 Apr 2012 15:25:00 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/n2djejuP61o/visiting-nashville-heres-the-locals-guide-to http://kateoneill.me/visiting-nashville-heres-the-locals-guide-to <p> <p><em><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">In the past year, a few friends from former towns and workplaces have begun to visit Nashville. I couldn't be more delighted, of course - I want to show off my adopted hometown - but invariably, the preparatory emails involve some sort of "what should I plan to do?"-type of question. Eventually, I wrote up a somewhat lengthy answer, and have since re-used it multiple times, and am now sharing it here, with you.</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">As far as where to stay, I generally find the Hotel Indigo locations are pretty nice, as somewhat higher-end chains go, and in Nashville there are two:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/hotel-indigo-nashville-nashville" target="_blank">one right downtown</a> and <a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/hotel-indigo-nashville-nashville-2" target="_blank">one on West End</a>, so parking is easier, but then there's not much within walking distance so you pretty much have to drive everywhere. So whichever you prefer. The downtown one is <a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/TsZEKqs0wzP3WHnPkV0Eig?select=JkyY_h1DhlmdRXGf6lGowA" target="_blank">in a beautiful historic building</a> right around the corner from my office so I meet folks for cocktails there every so often and at least the lobby and lounge have a nice feel.</span></p> <div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">You HAVE to schedule at least one late night to do a circuit of the honky-tonks on Lower Broadway (which means Broadway between the river and 5th or 6th Avenue), because as cheesy and OMG-touristy as they are, they are uniquely&nbsp;Nashville. Don't miss&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/roberts-western-world-nashville" target="_blank">Robert's Western World</a>, where you can hear some really quality Western swing music (because the music in&nbsp;Nashville&nbsp;is&nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">generally</span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">, even if you don't like it, at least played incredibly well) in a good old-fashioned dive that serves PBR unironically alongside deep-fried pickles, and shelves cowboy boots along the wall. I shit you not.&nbsp;</span></div> <p /> <div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">But then you have to get away from the tourist fa&ccedil;ade, too, and check out places like&nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Five Points,&nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">the hipster-ish neighborhood in East&nbsp;Nashville, where you can do brunch at&nbsp;<a href="http://www.marcheartisanfoods.com/" target="_blank">March&eacute;</a>&nbsp;and possibly spot Jack White or Ben Folds, or&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/search?find_loc=21st%2FVanderbilt%2C+Nashville%2C+TN" target="_blank">Hillsboro Village</a>, where you can have locally-roasted coffee at&nbsp;<a href="http://www.bongojava.com/fido.php" target="_blank">Fido</a>&nbsp;and probably see hit songwriters meeting up before or during co-writing sessions, not that you'll recognize them (but with training you can recognize the type), or the more suburban neighborhood of Green Hills, with its&nbsp;<a href="http://www.themallatgreenhills.com/pages/mall_directory/32.php" target="_blank">slightly upscale mall</a>&nbsp;and new-ish&nbsp;<a target="_blank">shopping center</a>&nbsp;anchored by&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/whole-foods-market-nashville#query:whole%20foods" target="_blank">Whole Foods</a>, where you might spot Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman.&nbsp;</span></div> <p /> <div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">And you'll definitely have to come to my neighborhood --&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/search?find_loc=Germantown%2C+Nashville%2C+TN" target="_blank">Historic Germantown</a>&nbsp;-- and see some of the beautifully restored antebellum homes and eat at my favorite restaurant in town,&nbsp;<a href="http://cityhousenashville.com/" target="_blank">City House</a>, where you might spot Robert Plant at the bar, or my second-favorite,&nbsp;<a href="http://germantowncafe.com/" target="_blank">Germantown Caf&eacute;</a>, where you might spot country legend Marty Stuart, and buy a truffle or two from&nbsp;<a href="http://www.thecocoatree.com/truffles.php" target="_blank">The Cocoa Tree</a>. I've never spotted anyone famous at The Cocoa Tree, but that's probably because I'm too fixated on how good the chocolate is. :)&nbsp;</span></div> <p /> <div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Other&nbsp;Nashville&nbsp;highlights:&nbsp;</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"> <ul> <li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/las-paletas-gourmet-popsicles-nashville" target="_blank">Las Paletas popsicles</a>, in the up-and-coming 12 South neighborhood, where you could also check out&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/burger-up-nashville" target="_blank">Burger Up</a>, a deceptively named gourmet burger joint,&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/mafiaozas-nashville" target="_blank">Mafiaoza's</a>&nbsp;for pizza,&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/12-south-taproom-and-grill-nashville" target="_blank">12 South Taproom</a>&nbsp;for a solid beer selection, or&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/rumours-wine-and-art-bar-nashville" target="_blank">Rumours</a>&nbsp;wine bar for, well, wine.&nbsp;</span></li> <li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Our local craft brew favorite,&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/yazoo-brewing-company-nashville" target="_blank">Yazoo, has a taproom</a>&nbsp;that's a local favorite, with the newer&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/jackalope-brewing-company-nashville" target="_blank">Jackalope</a>&nbsp;brewery nearby. They're both very near the neighborhood known as&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/list/the-gulch-nashville" target="_blank">"The Gulch"</a>&nbsp;and there are some fun places to explore there as well.&nbsp;</span></li> <li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of&nbsp;Yazoo, after they moved into their new location, the space they used to occupy was snapped up by the new&nbsp;<a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/corsair-artisan-nashville" target="_blank">Corsair Artisan</a>&nbsp;distillery. They're located in the old&nbsp;<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marathon_Motor_Works" target="_blank">Marathon Motor Works</a>&nbsp;building, and it's got a great decaying brick factory feel about the place.&nbsp;</span></li> <li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Oh, and if you find yourself walking around downtown, you should wander into the&nbsp;<a href="http://countrymusichalloffame.org/our-work/" target="_blank">Hatch Show Print</a>&nbsp;store. The Hatch style is immediately recognizable as the classic American letterpress poster, and you can browse older prints to buy here.&nbsp;</span></li> </ul> </div> <p /> <div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">There's much, much more, but that's probably enough to get your planning started. :) Feel free to pass along to your traveling buddies, and if any of you have questions, definitely shoot them my way. I'm totally smitten with my adopted hometown.&nbsp;</span></div> <p><em><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Locals: what did I miss that you love?&nbsp;</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Visitors: what did you discover that was really cool that isn't in this list?</span></em></p> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/visiting-nashville-heres-the-locals-guide-to">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/visiting-nashville-heres-the-locals-guide-to#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/n2djejuP61o" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/visiting-nashville-heres-the-locals-guide-to Tue, 27 Mar 2012 16:30:00 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/7QRa3mN_mE8/one-of-those-elusive-big-city-benefits http://kateoneill.me/one-of-those-elusive-big-city-benefits <p> <p>People in Nashville seem to be fond of saying that Nashville is a big city with a small town feel. Which is charming enough, except that anyone who's lived in a city that could proportionally be called "big" -- as in, say, over 1 million people within the city limits -- would argue that Nashville is in no way a "big city." And I've sometimes heard recent transplants complain that this town doesn't have enough "big city benefits."</p> <p>Having grown up in the Chicagoland area, lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, and having spent a great deal of time in L.A. and New York, and having visited cities like Paris and Shanghai, I have some familiarity with big city benefits. And it is with that view that I tell you about one of the most big-city-minded things happening in Nashville lately, which might sound decidedly small-town American: a buffet.</p> <p>Mind you, it's not just any buffet: it's <a href="http://www.facebook.com/thebehive" title="The BE Hive" target="_blank">a vegan buffet</a>. A vegan buffet that takes place once a week on the one day when <a href="http://www.thewildcow.com/twc/" title="The Wild Cow Vegetarian Restaurant" target="_blank">the only vegan restaurant in town</a> is normally closed. A vegan buffet with a rotating themed cuisine style. A vegan buffet where a percentage of the proceeds go to progressive and socially conscious charities.&nbsp;</p> <p><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <a href="http://getfile3.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-03-27/uoFbmswkyzrlybnBfGxIqJmgBffCnidlCyAIlArgulnyDBGuttlDehjxxckd/308843_285493518135707_285486924803033_1113718_1056299116_n.jpg.scaled1000.jpg"><img alt="308843_285493518135707_285486924803033_1113718_1056299116_n" height="389" src="http://getfile2.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-03-27/uoFbmswkyzrlybnBfGxIqJmgBffCnidlCyAIlArgulnyDBGuttlDehjxxckd/308843_285493518135707_285486924803033_1113718_1056299116_n.jpg.scaled500.jpg" width="500" /></a> </div> </p> <p>If&nbsp;you're still not connecting with what makes this such a big city phenomenon, allow me to explain. In my experience, making use of idle resources is a decidedly urban characteristic. From raves in the '80s and '90s to&nbsp;pop-up shops in the '10s, when prime spaces in crowded areas go unused, people find ways to use them.&nbsp;</p> <p>Combine that with the Millenial instinct towards social good and unconventional commerce, and, well, we've got a pretty progressive thing happening here.&nbsp;</p> <p>And the kicker is, it's <em>good</em>. So far I've tried the Asian, BBQ, St. Paddy's, and Mexican nights. I was out of town for the Thai night, and I hated to miss it. I'm looking forward to breakfast for dinner next week.</p> <p>If you're new to town from somewhere with more of this kind of mixed-up cool stuff going on, you should definitely check it out, and don't worry: more like this will be happening soon, I'm sure. This may not exactly be a "big" city, but it's one of the most creative cities I've ever encountered. Once people catch on to the ways we can make greater use of our existing resources, you'll be seeing more and more creative options come to life. In the meantime, eat up. It's for a good cause.</p> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/one-of-those-elusive-big-city-benefits">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/one-of-those-elusive-big-city-benefits#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/7QRa3mN_mE8" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/one-of-those-elusive-big-city-benefits Fri, 16 Mar 2012 12:09:35 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/_v6vSic-p9Q/not-months-but-moments-and-time-enough http://kateoneill.me/not-months-but-moments-and-time-enough <p> <a href="http://instagr.am/p/IPpcH-Mac1/"><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <a href="http://getfile5.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/rvgfvgucDcBlahoeuaoqIydlGxDrylomzCmleCikbCmfEbeojkmDlahpayaE/media_httpdistilleryi_wvyJo.jpg.scaled1000.jpg"><img alt="Media_httpdistilleryi_wvyjo" height="500" src="http://getfile7.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/rvgfvgucDcBlahoeuaoqIydlGxDrylomzCmleCikbCmfEbeojkmDlahpayaE/media_httpdistilleryi_wvyJo.jpg.scaled500.jpg" width="500" /></a> </div> </a><br />Taken at Radnor Lake State Natural Area </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/not-months-but-moments-and-time-enough">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/not-months-but-moments-and-time-enough#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/_v6vSic-p9Q" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/not-months-but-moments-and-time-enough Sun, 11 Mar 2012 15:25:23 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/XuwvLtIGSUE/why-yes-those-are-raw-vegan-chocolate-raspber http://kateoneill.me/why-yes-those-are-raw-vegan-chocolate-raspber <p> <a href="http://instagr.am/p/IDH0ytMaQ1/"><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <a href="http://getfile5.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/joDbzEDcqvHJbgwrEIlmmtdvfsqvaixIoawxAEAxodpAfcFvgafDowHAAhjl/media_httpdistilleryi_mvewG.jpg.scaled1000.jpg"><img alt="Media_httpdistilleryi_mvewg" height="500" src="http://getfile1.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/joDbzEDcqvHJbgwrEIlmmtdvfsqvaixIoawxAEAxodpAfcFvgafDowHAAhjl/media_httpdistilleryi_mvewG.jpg.scaled500.jpg" width="500" /></a> </div> </a><br />Taken at The Cat Shack </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/why-yes-those-are-raw-vegan-chocolate-raspber">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/why-yes-those-are-raw-vegan-chocolate-raspber#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/XuwvLtIGSUE" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/why-yes-those-are-raw-vegan-chocolate-raspber Sun, 26 Feb 2012 14:13:22 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/XnV0liyXzg4/red-velvet-smoothie-an-inspired-idea-if-i-do http://kateoneill.me/red-velvet-smoothie-an-inspired-idea-if-i-do <p> <a href="http://instagr.am/p/HfDPnmsaUf/"><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <a href="http://getfile3.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/clGFEDGauynqprDIlzIrenzHlbwobqxfptoqwxhvaIHoGgdHCwboIHcgkFlv/media_httpdistilleryi_nFsqo.jpg.scaled1000.jpg"><img alt="Media_httpdistilleryi_nfsqo" height="500" src="http://getfile1.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/clGFEDGauynqprDIlzIrenzHlbwobqxfptoqwxhvaIHoGgdHCwboIHcgkFlv/media_httpdistilleryi_nFsqo.jpg.scaled500.jpg" width="500" /></a> </div> </a> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/red-velvet-smoothie-an-inspired-idea-if-i-do">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/red-velvet-smoothie-an-inspired-idea-if-i-do#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/XnV0liyXzg4" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/red-velvet-smoothie-an-inspired-idea-if-i-do Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:25:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/C2LpYgZE_iQ/how-quitting-smoking-works http://kateoneill.me/how-quitting-smoking-works <p> <p>It's been my experience that people don't describe things very well.&nbsp;</p> <p>Karsten has mentioned this phenomenon, too. When he was getting ready to use a jackhammer for the first time, he asked several people who said they'd used a jackhammer what the experience was like. Consistently, they were unable to give very compelling descriptions beyond single-word statements like "powerful" or they might say it was indescribable.&nbsp;</p> <p>But after the first day Karsten used one, he could describe it concisely: "It has the force to break ground and move downwards all by itself. But you have to use your whole body to pull it back up and reposition it to let it go down again."</p> <p>In the same way, I find that when I read accounts of people attempting to quit smoking, there is a similar shortage of precision and specificity about what to expect. I smoked. I started when I was very young and quit when I was in my early 20s. It was difficult to quit, and it took several attempts before I could do it.</p> <p>My friend Beth just celebrated a year of being smoke-free. I've seen folks comment on her Facebook wall that she's inspired them to try to quit. So for&nbsp;the sake of anyone who might be thinking about quitting, I would like to share my explanation of how quitting works: very simply, you make a plan not to smoke. And then you encounter some situation -- your commute, after sex, when you're stressed, whatever -- where you would normally smoke that you weren't prepared to handle. So maybe you go ahead and light one up. But you think about alternatives. You make another plan, only this time you've accounted for the situation you encountered. Maybe you carry carrot sticks. Maybe you have a stress ball to squeeze. Maybe you have a friend on speed dial. And maybe you encounter another context, and you smoke another one, and you make another plan. And you do this until you don't encounter any more situations you aren't prepared for.</p> <p>And when that happens, you're a non-smoker.</p> <p><em>Let me know in the comments if your experience differs. I'd love to hear alternative approaches that have worked.</em></p> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/how-quitting-smoking-works">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/how-quitting-smoking-works#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/C2LpYgZE_iQ" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/how-quitting-smoking-works Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:09:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/WA9OafJh5Sw/carnism-and-the-social-rejection-of-conscious http://kateoneill.me/carnism-and-the-social-rejection-of-conscious <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote class="posterous_long_quote">Not only that, but many of them get angry if you try to shed light on where their meat originates&mdash;just telling people you're vegan can <a href="http://www.good.is/post/i-hated-vegans-too-but-now-i-am-one/">sometimes inspire hostility</a>. That&rsquo;s because people know, on some level, that animal agriculture is horrific but support it anyway. By raising awareness of the reality of animal agriculture, you shed light on that moral discomfort that most people feel at the idea of eating animals.</blockquote> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://www.good.is/post/carnism-if-you-eat-cows-why-not-golden-retrievers-too/?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+good%2Flbvp+%28GOOD+Main+RSS+Feed%29">good.is</a></div> <p>Had an interesting discussion over lunch with a friend who experienced backlash while on vacation with friends when she casually stated that she wasn't interested in eating much meat because she was cutting back. Their chilly reaction and subsequent efforts to tempt her into eating various hunks of seared flesh left her puzzled. But longtime vegetarians and vegans will no doubt recognize this reaction, and Dr. Melanie Joy describes the phenomenon in <a href="http://www.good.is/post/carnism-if-you-eat-cows-why-not-golden-retrievers-too/">this linked article on GOOD</a>. She has coined the term "carnism" to refer to the systemic cultural belief that eating meat is right, healthy, and required, rather than the choice it truly represents. She highlights the fact that it is a choice by pointing out the wild inconsistencies in our attitudes and assumptions towards different kinds of animals.</p> <p>I've found it to go beyond that, too. In my experience, any behavior (the deviation doesn't even have to be verbalized) that demonstrates an effort to make conscious choices about food and diet becomes suspect. It is as if my desire to eat a salad impinges on your ability to eat a steak.</p> <p>The trouble with that is that my chosen diet is pretty non-mainstream. I am vegan and have been since 1998. Being vegan is as much an ethical choice as a health-conscious one, but I realize that ethical ideals are impossible so I try to respect everyone's ability to arrive at their own ethical compromises, within reason, and I try not to force my values onto anyone else. I'm also learning more and more about raw food and other optimized nutrition, and that has to do with improving my health: I'm not overly concerned about the welfare of carrots. But uttering the word "vegan" can stop a cocktail party conversation cold. Everyone is waiting for the other non-leather shoe to drop, I suppose, and for the lectures to begin.</p> <p>I'm not a lecturing kind of person. (Not usually, anyway.) But I think this article presents some valuable new vocabulary and food (ha!) for thought, so whether you choose to eat meat or choose to abstain, you may find it valuable to <a href="http://www.good.is/post/carnism-if-you-eat-cows-why-not-golden-retrievers-too/">read this whole article</a> and possibly see some of the nearly-invisible constructs we're surrounded by in a new light.</p> <p>Let me know your thoughts.</p> </div> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/carnism-and-the-social-rejection-of-conscious">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/carnism-and-the-social-rejection-of-conscious#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/WA9OafJh5Sw" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/carnism-and-the-social-rejection-of-conscious Sat, 19 Nov 2011 14:50:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/bc1dgrrsyJw/how-i-keep-my-iphone-charger-cable-handy-on-m http://kateoneill.me/how-i-keep-my-iphone-charger-cable-handy-on-m <p> <p><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <a href="http://getfile1.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/lnqIwBqGIzgDuJkvJvzbDicJvhFsjtDHkvmApFlvfvfJIpsalskEDxIfDgAj/media_httpdistilleryi_eHrHG.jpg.scaled1000.jpg"><img alt="Media_httpdistilleryi_ehrhg" height="500" src="http://getfile8.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/lnqIwBqGIzgDuJkvJvzbDicJvhFsjtDHkvmApFlvfvfJIpsalskEDxIfDgAj/media_httpdistilleryi_eHrHG.jpg.scaled500.jpg" width="500" /></a> </div> </p> <p><span style="font-size: medium;">After seeing a similar setup shown on Pinterest, I thought I'd show how I have my iPhone charger cable set up on my nightstand. The other version was clipped directly onto the nightstand; by clipping mine onto a handkerchief (which is then secured under the stack of whatever books I'm reading at the time) it doesn't risk damaging the nightstand.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: medium;">Plus? Pretty green binder clip + pretty handkerchief = double win.</span></p> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/how-i-keep-my-iphone-charger-cable-handy-on-m">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/how-i-keep-my-iphone-charger-cable-handy-on-m#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/bc1dgrrsyJw" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/how-i-keep-my-iphone-charger-cable-handy-on-m Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:09:00 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/iXGbMLHbW3c/mona-simpsons-eulogy-for-steve-jobs http://kateoneill.me/mona-simpsons-eulogy-for-steve-jobs <p> <p>Over at <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/30/opinion/mona-simpsons-eulogy-for-steve-jobs.html?_r=2&amp;pagewanted=all">nytimes.com</a>.</p> <p>I hate to seem morbid, but as I was reading this, it occurred to me that I genuinely think there's no finer piece of writing or oratory than a well-written, well-delivered eulogy.</p> <p>When it's right, it evokes an aspect of the deceased that feels intimate and revealing, and yet familiar. And at the same time, it tells volumes about the grieving loved one delivering the eulogy, about what she values, about what she is evolved enough to appreciate in the deceased.</p> <p>It's a lovely piece of art, and <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/30/opinion/mona-simpsons-eulogy-for-steve-jobs.html?_r=2&amp;pagewanted=all">Mona Simpson's eulogy for her brother Steve Jobs</a> is one of the finest I've read. It's making the rounds so you may have seen the link, but if you haven't actually clicked over to read it, you should.</p> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/mona-simpsons-eulogy-for-steve-jobs">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/mona-simpsons-eulogy-for-steve-jobs#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/iXGbMLHbW3c" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/mona-simpsons-eulogy-for-steve-jobs Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:47:13 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/spF7ZJ0hpWg/bad-for-the-bottom-line-but-good-for-profits http://kateoneill.me/bad-for-the-bottom-line-but-good-for-profits <p> <div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <img alt="Screen_shot_2011-10-28_at_9" height="167" src="http://getfile3.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/WMhirKUWKFXY3G66QAjIRaLeXYUmuf9FSQGrDdUyRC2nmZEuVpypeT9fepoO/Screen_shot_2011-10-28_at_9.38.jpg" width="422" /> </div> <p>From Fast Company&#39;s &quot;Ethonomics Weekly&quot; email newsletter on October 27, 2011. </p><p /><div>Good thing everyone&#39;s all about the triple bottom line: that ought to leave plenty of room for sloppy contradictions. </div> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/bad-for-the-bottom-line-but-good-for-profits">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/bad-for-the-bottom-line-but-good-for-profits#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/spF7ZJ0hpWg" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/bad-for-the-bottom-line-but-good-for-profits Mon, 24 Oct 2011 04:44:00 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/f8vU1sM3wGc/alternative-treatments-vs-no-treatment-steve http://kateoneill.me/alternative-treatments-vs-no-treatment-steve <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote class="posterous_short_quote">But Jobs delayed surgery for at least nine months, making it "sound to assume that Mr. Jobs' choice for alternative medicine has eventually led to an unnecessarily early death.</blockquote> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://gawker.com/5851835/steve-jobs-regretted-wasting-time-on-alternative-medicine">gawker.com</a></div> <p>I saw the headline "Steve Jobs Regretted Wasting Time on Alternative Medicine" tweeted many times a few days ago when <a href="http://gawker.com/5851835/steve-jobs-regretted-wasting-time-on-alternative-medicine">this article</a> first showed up, but I didn't have time to click through and read it. I was suspicious, though, that alternative treatments may have been scapegoated. Now that I have read it, I can't say that for sure, but it still strikes me as sensationalist and oversimplified. (No! Something in Gawker, sensationalist? Something about Steve Jobs?) </p><p>The thing is, what comes through to me as I read the Steve Jobs quote, "I didn't want my body... violated in that way" reads as straight-up fear. It doesn't read as if he got the news and went "oh, you know what? I want to go with an intense holistic approach and beat this shit" and then went all Gerson therapy on its ass. Instead, it reads as if he got the news and went "Shit. I don't want to deal with this" and used something between no treatment and alternative treatments as avoidance. There's a pretty big difference there. </p><p>The alternative treatments, in this part of the discussion, are a scapegoat and a distraction. I have known people -- LOTS of people -- who say they have overcome cancer through diet and lifestyle changes. I met literally dozens of them when Karsten and I went on a holistic-health-oriented cruise. (Don't take me to task on this: these are THEIR claims, not mine, but I believe them.) And at this moment in my life, I can't claim to know what I'd do if I were diagnosed with cancer. I do know how I reacted when I was diagnosed with something that could be cancer: I had the recommended surgery. (It turned out not to have been cancer, thankfully, and I ended up with complications, so perhaps an instinct to think twice about surgery would have been prudent.) But that was only a few short years after my dad died from cancer, and the word "cancer" scared the shit out of me. With more years of perspective and more education about the body's own systems of balance, I know I'd at least be <i>inclined</i> to double-down on my healthy diet and lifestyle and give my body the chance to deal with the abnormality on its own. I don't know if I'd actually go through with that; I might have surgery first and then follow that with a healing diet. </p><p>Either way, what I believe I wouldn't do is ignore it. And I'm not saying Jobs did, but it kinda comes across like he chose a level of denial over aggressive treatment, whether conventional or alternative. Unless someone knows and can tell me that he began following a very intentional diet and regimen geared at helping the body reverse the growth of the tumor, I don't think you can lay the blame for Steve Jobs' death at the feet of alternative medicine for the gap in treatment. I think you have to blame that on fear.</p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/alternative-treatments-vs-no-treatment-steve">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/alternative-treatments-vs-no-treatment-steve#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/f8vU1sM3wGc" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/alternative-treatments-vs-no-treatment-steve Fri, 14 Oct 2011 09:10:00 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/0u1agCSytNs/truly-the-funniest-blog-post-i-have-ever-read http://kateoneill.me/truly-the-funniest-blog-post-i-have-ever-read <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote class="posterous_long_quote">You bought two dead animals &ndash; killing each other &ndash; <em>because renting them is a bad investment?</em></blockquote> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://thebloggess.com/2011/10/thats-why-im-not-allowed-to-be-here-unsupervised/">thebloggess.com</a></div> <p>Yes, this has been making the rounds. Yes, I'm a few days behind on sharing this. Deal. <a href="http://thebloggess.com/2011/10/thats-why-im-not-allowed-to-be-here-unsupervised/">Read the whole thing</a>. Click the links in the post. It's all worth it.</p> </div> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/truly-the-funniest-blog-post-i-have-ever-read">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/truly-the-funniest-blog-post-i-have-ever-read#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/0u1agCSytNs" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/truly-the-funniest-blog-post-i-have-ever-read Sun, 28 Aug 2011 05:14:00 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/QU0QePjhlsI/bookmarking-this-for-a-pride-party-sometime http://kateoneill.me/bookmarking-this-for-a-pride-party-sometime <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <img alt="Media_httpd30opm7hsgi_bbtnf" height="501" src="http://getfile6.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/HpvafxpylJsHiFEpIxqBlDIarJdIEzfjmoecBvAGDCjdJkitbiBddvsAmcDb/media_httpd30opm7hsgi_Bbtnf.jpg.scaled500.jpg" width="500" /> </div> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/103695395/">pinterest.com</a></div> <p>Found on Pinterest. So totally stealing this idea.</p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/bookmarking-this-for-a-pride-party-sometime">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/bookmarking-this-for-a-pride-party-sometime#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/QU0QePjhlsI" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/bookmarking-this-for-a-pride-party-sometime Thu, 18 Aug 2011 11:29:00 -0700 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/kateoneillme/~3/L65YwR4RaAM/nice-bit-of-visual-storytelling-about-music-c http://kateoneill.me/nice-bit-of-visual-storytelling-about-music-c <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <a href="http://getfile0.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/godwyIEGdhCyogqhrbhytuvrwzwEljgIFeGdaryngeBHgJfAJitdepdHjEEy/media_httpgraphjamfil_lgkgB.gif"><img alt="Media_httpgraphjamfil_lgkgb" height="455" src="http://getfile1.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/kateo/godwyIEGdhCyogqhrbhytuvrwzwEljgIFeGdaryngeBHgJfAJitdepdHjEEy/media_httpgraphjamfil_lgkgB.gif.scaled500.gif" width="500" /></a> </div> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://graphjam.memebase.com/2011/08/18/funny-graphs-cds-are-too-mainstream/?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+graphjam+%28GraphJam%3A+Pop+culture+for+people+in+cubicles.%29">graphjam.memebase.com</a></div> <p>(Note: if the image isn't changing, click it to go back to the original - it's an animated GIF, and it's worth seeing.)</p> <p>Cassette singles. Remember those?</p> </div> </p> <p><a href="http://kateoneill.me/nice-bit-of-visual-storytelling-about-music-c">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://kateoneill.me/nice-bit-of-visual-storytelling-about-music-c#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/kateoneillme/~4/L65YwR4RaAM" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/2288778/kate_bw_headshot_1000x1000.jpg http://posterous.com/users/3BRCXmEVY Kate O'Neill Kate O' Kate O'Neill http://kateoneill.me/nice-bit-of-visual-storytelling-about-music-c