Here's the link to my second contribution for Love Child Organics. I am enjoying being their doula contributor and sharing knowledge, tips and humour, about pregnancy, birth and beyond. In this blog I dig deep into what, print and online text, we really need (and don't need) to feel confident during our entry into parenthood. Enjoy! ❤️

As usual, there is a lot of change and many balls being juggled around here - busy indeed, but it's all full of sweetness and fun! Here's the rundown of what's happening over the next few months.

At Little White Sneakers, during the Pre-Mother's Day Pampering and Fundraiser event.

• A huge thank you to everyone that supported the Pre-Mother's Day Pampering and Fundraising event at Little White Sneakers on May 7th. It was an exciting, filled with snacks from Love Child Organics, New Moon Kitchen and David's Tea. Wanless Photography took beautiful photos, Little Jingle Beans Premier Children's Entertainer, entertained the kids, as the Little Mermaid, and we had RMT Lindsay McCarthy of Glow Spa, treat us with massages. Our raffle was a massive success - we raised $300, which has been donated to Sunnybrook Hospital, Women and Babies Department. We look forward to making this an annual (maybe even bi-annual?) event.

• It's official - we're a team! I'm excited to announce that the stunning and talented Aidan Black-Allen, of Rosy Dreamers - Sleep and Doula Services, is my primary back up doula. You can read more about Aidan and how we're working together, on an upcoming blog post. Until then, catch a glimpse on her website www.rosydreamers.com

• A Mama Vinyasa Flow Yoga class will be starting at Little White Sneakers, on select Sundays from 9:30-10:30 a.m. More details about exact dates, registration information and what to bring, will be announced soon!

• Beginning on Tuesday May 16th, join us for our new weekly Facebook thread, titled Talk on Tuesday where we'll be exploring variations on pregnancy, birth and parenting norms. I'm looking forward to hearing all the shared stories!

• At the end of June, I'll be learning more about the amazing tool the Rebozo, at the Toronto Yoga Mamas Doula Rebozo Training . The course is based on the brilliant doula Gena Kirby's method, and will explore the ins and outs of how to support families with this ancient birthing tool. I cannot wait to learn more.

• On July 11th I'll be teaming up with the beautiful and talented Natalie of Lola Bean Photography. We'll be exploring how to get amazing shots of your children in action, using your camera on your phone. Natalie will be dishing out editing tips too - you are not going to want to miss this workshop! Watch this space for more details.

• On July 13th I'll be at Carry Maternity, as a guest speaker, for the wonderful and knowledgeable Taya Griffin, IBCLC's Breastfeeding Cafe. We'll be casually chatting about infant sleep, and busting some of the big sleep myths circulating out there. 

• For those of you interested in birth doula support, Summer and Fall spots are filling up. Here's my birth doula availability for the next 6 months:

June: 1 Space    |    July: 0 Spaces    |    August: 1 Space    

   September: 0 Spaces    |   October: 2 Spaces |    November: 1 Space  

To book your spot, or to find out postpartum doula support, infant sleep education, childbirth education and/or yoga availability, please contact me here.

Always feel free to send me a message about any of your pregnancy, birth and postpartum needs or concerns - I am always honoured to help you out. ❤️

This Sunday, May 7th, from 10:30 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. we're celebrating moms and moms to be! Join us for an amazing experience and a great cause. 

Come on over to the gorgeous boutique, Little White Sneakers, get pampered and raise money, for moms like you, while you're doing it. All of our proceeds will be donated to the Women and Babies department at Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre

We'll be having the following:

-A Photobooth with Wanless Photography
-Snacks from Love Child Organics and New Moon Kitchen
-Custom Mother's Day Cards from Attn2detaildesigns
-Tea bar with DAVIDsTEA
-Massage station
-Activities for kids, including a visit from The Little Mermaid, courtesy ofLittle Jingle Beans Inc. Premier Children's Entertainers

and

-A Raffle, with local prizes worth over $1000 in value
from THE TEN SPOT | Barreworks | Starbucks | BYoga | Bosnar Centre for Health | SleepBelt | Matter Company | Kate Sissons - Doula Yoga Educator |Village Juicery | Civello | Red Leaf Fitness | Little White Sneakers | Wine Rack Canada | Noah's Natural Foods

Want more information? Head on over to our Facebook page here.

Aren't available to attend our event in person but want to support our cause and enter our raffle? Buy your tickets here and we'll add your name to our raffle pot on Sunday.

https://www.littlewhitesneakers.com/products/mothers-day-fundraiser-raffle-ticket?variant=33879716049

NOTE: Our raffle has been extended to Monday May 15th! We'll be drawing the names live on Facebook that morning. Make sure to enter to support Sunnybrook Hospital, Women and Babies and secure your chance to win these beautiful prizes.

3 years ago I found out I was pregnant. My periods were always regular - almost to the minute regular, so I knew something was off when I was 2 days late. Just after 4 weeks we took our first home pregnancy test. It's an understatement to say that we were shocked. Through the next hours, days and week, we went through the whole range of emotions. But I knew, and felt, that we would be making this work. While we'd known each other all of all of 5 months (gasp!) somehow we just knew that we had some sort of strong love that would get us through.

This blog has been moved to the wonderful parenting blog site Motherly. You can continue reading it HERE.

The warm weather brings with it feelings of hope, renewal and change. It brings us out of our slower pace and starts to energize and uplift us. With Spring getting into full force, I've got lots going on.

On April 20th I'll be running a workshop at Barreworks Yonge St. We'll be delving deep into the Art and Science of Infant Sleep, discussing ways to support all members with their sleep and wellness needs and getting into some Mummy/Baby Yoga. Find out more HERE.

On May 1st I'll be participating in an event organized by the New Mom Project. The New Mom Project is an inspiring charity, that supports families in need by offering them baby necessities. This is their annual appreciation event and I'll be talking all about the roles of Birth and Postpartum Doulas. Find out more HERE.

On May 7th I'll be hosting an event at Little White Sneakers, Toronto. with a range of practitioners. This will be a charity event, with all our proceeds going to Sunnybrook Hospital, NICU and Maternity. We're going to be running a raffle filled with fantastic, local prizes, a photo booth, and an informal Q&A with a range of health care specialists.

Near the end of May I'll be refreshing my Pre/Postnatal Yoga teaching skills by taking part in Blooma's Teacher Training at Toronto Yoga Mamas. I cannot wait to learn more with such skilled practitioners!

Also at the end of May/early June (date TBC) I will be leading a talk with members of TPOMBA (Toronto Parents of Multiple Births Association). We'll be discussing milestones through ages 0-4, in all areas - physical, literacy, numeracy etc. We'll also be going through a wide range of activities, that parents and caregivers can easily do at home, to help keep their little ones happy and nourished. (Update: Due to scheduling conflicts, this workshop has been moved to September 2017)

Another exciting announcement, is my newest partnership with the Bosnar Health Centre, Toronto. I'll be joining their team, as one of their Birth & Postpartum Doulas, and will also be providing my other services upon request. 

I'm looking forward to seeing you around these events and spaces. And also sharing all my expanding knowledge, about the prenatal, birth and postpartum stages with you.

Navigating the world of new parenthood can be challenging. There is certainly a bombardment of messages, prenatally, particularly around all the stuff that you need. But here’s a message from the other side – less is best!

We all know that babies do a lot of growing. It’s a common painful parenting frustration when you open your drawers and find clothes with tags still on them, and your child has already grown out of them. Babies and children also make a lot of mess, which is a great thing in terms of development– but not as much from a laundry and purchasing point of view. With that said, finding clothing that fits, for a price that isn’t going to make your jaw hang open, is ideal.

Another vital area to consider, when purchasing baby and children's clothing, is the ecological, health and ethical impacts of what you're buying and dressing your little ones in. We live in an era of fast and disposable fashion. Most of us know the impact of this, which includes, among many other things:

• The materials may contain chemicals, such as flame retardants, which have been shown to affect nervous and reproductive systems.
• Landfills are brimming with discarded clothes, that are often not biodegradable.
• The processes of mass producing clothing, uses a huge amount of water and in turn, pollutes our water systems.
• Often clothing is produced in major factories in less than ideal circumstances. This might included health and safety hazards for employees, long working hours and/or child labour.

But with so little time and less mental energy from lack of sleep and caring for a baby all day, how can you source your children's clothes in more ethical and ecological ways? After undertaking an in depth Eco-Baby certification, through Toronto based bebo mia and Green at Home, I've been inspired to get more eco-knowledge out to clients. So here’s a list of what Toronto offers – and it truly is awesome. Check out our description of each store, plus our handy map HERE, to source your next batch of clothing.

New

There will be times when new clothing is just what we need for our families. Maybe they are gifts or we just can't find used items in the size or colours we need. Or maybe we feel like a new item is exactly what our family needs at that moment - and we don't need to feel guilty about that. These companies are doing a brilliant job at developing and selling clothing and other items that are not only high quality, but also ease our conscience, by being ethical and eco-friendly.

Little Zen One, Toronto, Didymos Twisted Lisca Emerald,  $178, available HERE.

Little Zen One

Upper Gerrard and Coxwell, M4L 2J3  1-800-8383-LZO

  www.littlezenone.com

_____

Little Zen One specializes in baby wearing (woven wraps, buckle carriers, slings etc.). They also carry a small selection of hand picked clothing, toys, body and bath products, and accessories. All of their products are ethically sourced and eco-friendly. Many of their products are Canadian. The shop is open by appointment only, but products are available online anytime.

• PRICE: $-$$$$$
• ONLINE: ✓
• CONSIGNMENT: ✗
• DONATIONS: ✗
• CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES: ✓
• TOYS: ✓
• STROLLER FRIENDLY: ✓

Mini Mioche, Toronto, Lightweight Fleece Biker Romper, $60, available HERE.

Mini Mioche

795 Queen Street West, M6J 1G1
(647) 348-5883    &     6 Case Goods Lane, M5A 3C4  (416) 366-5858

www.minimioche.com

_____

Located on Queen West and in the Distillery District of Toronto, Mini Mioche was started by a mother who was searching for ethical clothing for her own kids. All of the clothing is organic, eco-friendly and made in Canada. Every single piece is long lasting and absolutely beautiful.

• PRICE: $-$$$
• ONLINE: ✓
• CONSIGNMENT: ✗
• DONATIONS: ✗
• CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES: ✓
• TOYS: ✗
• STROLLER FRIENDLY: ✓

100 Mile Child, Toronto, Pj'zzzz Bamboo Toque, $9.95, available HERE.

The 100 Mile Child

348 Danforth Avenue,  M4K 1N8   (416) 254-0150

     www.the100milechild.ca

_____

The 100 Mile Child carries primarily ethical and ecological products. The gorgeous shop sells toys, clothing, accessories, and mostly everything to do children, from age 0 to school aged. 

• PRICE: $-$$
• ONLINE: ✓
• CONSIGNMENT: ✗
• DONATIONS: ✗
• CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES: ✓
• TOYS: ✓
• STROLLER FRIENDLY: ✓

Ava's Apple Tree, Toronto, Winter Water Factory, Vienna Dress, Shells, $39.00, available HERE.

Ava's Apple Tree

870 Kingston Rd, M4E1S3   (416) 515-0808

www.avasappletree.ca

_____

Ava's Apple Tree is another city gem. The shop carries almost everything to do with baby care - cloth diapers, teething tools, creams and lotions, toys and more. The owners are passionate about creating an environment that is safe and healthy for our children.

• PRICE: $-$$$$$
• ONLINE: ✓
• CONSIGNMENT: ✗
• DONATIONS: ✗
• CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES: ✓
• TOYS: ✓
• STROLLER FRIENDLY: ✓

Hatley, Toronto, PJ Set, Heavy Duty Machines, $39.00, available HERE.

Hatley

Hatley Boutique, 2648 Yonge Street M4P 2J5  (416) 486-4141    &       Hatley CN Tower
301 Front Street W., M5V 2T6

www.hatley.com

_____

Hatley produces high quality and stunning pieces of clothing for the whole family. The founders have a strong ethical calling, supporting an orphanage in India. They also take pride in their commitment to ensuring supporting the health of our environment, and our water sheds, through production and donations. 

• PRICE: $-$$$$
• ONLINE: ✓
• CONSIGNMENT: ✗
• DONATIONS: ✗
• CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES: ✓
• TOYS: ✓
• STROLLER FRIENDLY: ✓

Consignment, New, Like New and Used Items

Some of these shops have a golden approach by offering a consignment option. Who doesn’t like trading in their clothes and getting store credit? It feels like you haven’t spent a thing! All of these shops also have an option to just buy. But the positive here, is that the items are often 50 to 75% off the retail price. And most of the goods are in such great conditions.

Merrily, Merrily, Toronto, Train Leg Warmers, $8.50, available HERE.

Merrily, Merrily

1854 Danforth Ave, M4C 1J4   (416) 476-3191  

     www.merrilymerrily.ca

_____

Merrily, Merrily is an East Toronto shop that offers both consignment and direct buying options. They’ve just gone through a massive renovation, which has given buyers more room to browse the wide assortment of clothing and products. They also offer an online purchasing option. The owners are extremely knowledgeable, friendly and passionate about making the world of fashion a better place.

• PRICE: $-$$$$
• ONLINE: ✓
• CONSIGNMENT: ✓
• DONATIONS: ✗
• CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES: ✓
• TOYS: ✓
• STROLLER FRIENDLY: ✓

iSpy Clothing, Toronto, Fox Set (size 18-24 months), $19.99, available HERE.

iSpy Clothing

Online Only, with a t 24/7 FREE Pick-Up bin at 18 Elliott Avenue, Toronto M8X 2P8  | Contact via email

     www.ispyclothing.com

_____

iSpy Clothing sells new and like new items. They have an amazing ethical commitment to reducing clothing waste and offer families high quality clothing. They offer goods online with the option of delivery to your home or to a free delivery box. They also offer the option for you to "trade up" your children's old clothes for 30-50% of the retail value.

• ONLINE: ✓
• CONSIGNMENT: ✓
• DONATIONS: ✗
• CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES: ✓
• TOYS: ✓
• STROLLER FRIENDLY: ✗

Bumbleberry Kids, Toronto, 0-6 months Cashmere Layer, $15.00, available HERE.

Bumbleberry Kids

1584 Queen St East,  M4L 1G1   (416) 691-5556  

     www.bumbleberrykids.com

_____

Another East Toronto shop, Bumbleberry Kids offers new and like new clothing, toys and accessories. The staff are incredible and have poured their hearts into creating a space that can serve the community by offering ethical and ecological choices.

• PRICE: $-$$$$
• ONLINE: ✓
• CONSIGNMENT: ✓
• DONATIONS: ✗
• CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES: ✓
• TOYS: ✓
• STROLLER FRIENDLY: ✗

Little White Sneakers, Toronto, Blue Lacoste Shoes, Practically New, $40.00, available HERE.

Little White Sneakers

597 Mt Pleasant Rd,  M4S 2M5  hello@littlewhitesneakers.com

www.littlewhitesneakers.com

_____

Located in Uptown Toronto, Little White Sneakers is a true gem. The founders have created a beautiful space, offering a range of new and like new clothing options. Their focus is on ecological brands, using materials like bamboo and organic cotton, and most of their new brands are also local. The store only accepts higher end items, from companies such as Baby Gap, Pottery Barn, Mini Mioche and Gucci. The space is also stroller friendly!

• PRICE: $-$$$$
• ONLINE: ✓
• CONSIGNMENT: ✓
• DONATIONS: ✗
• CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES: ✓
• TOYS: ✓
• STROLLER FRIENDLY: ✓

Once Upon A Child, Toronto South, Costumes are accepted and for sale. Find more HERE.

Once Upon A Child, Toronto

1386 Bayview Ave., Toronto, ON M4G 3A1           (416) 485-2776  www.onceuponachildtorontosouth.com 

_____

Once Upon a Child is a chain, with 1 locations in Toronto (they also have a location in Etobicoke). The stores are quite large and have a wide selection of new and used clothes, for very good prices. The North Toronto store also regularly offers a wide selection of strollers, bikes,                                                                    wagons and other larger items.

• PRICE: $-$$$
• ONLINE: ✗
• CONSIGNMENT: ✓
• DONATIONS: ✗
• CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES: ✓
• TOYS: ✓
• STROLLER FRIENDLY: ✓

Value Village, Toronto, Donation Statistics, available HERE.

Value Village

Find the 6 Toronto locations and other stores across the GTA HERE.

www.valuevillage.com

_____

Value Village really is a gem. The store sells solely used items, donated to the shop. They carry everything from baby, kids, and adult clothing, furniture, toys and household goods. Take note though - it is very hit and miss. One day you could find a brand new organic cotton baby outfit and the next day, find nothing worthwhile. It also takes a lot of time to browse, but it really is a lot of fun.

• PRICE: $ - $$
• ONLINE: ✗
• CONSIGNMENT: ✗
• DONATIONS: ✓
• CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES: ✓
• TOYS: ✓
• STROLLER FRIENDLY: ✓

Community, Trades, and Free

There are a lot of other economical and eco-friendly options, that involve free, trades and/or community groups. Some options include:

• Bunz Kids Zone. Try joining this group on Facebook. You can offer, or ask for, anything kid related and name your own trade.

• Facebook Groups. There are many citywide and area specific Trade Spots. Popular ones include Hip Mommies Toronto, East Toronto, North York, West Toronto, Midtown Toronto and the Toronto Parents of Multiples Trade Spots. These are amazing spaces to both sell and buy items you no longer need. Make sure you read the rules before posting or asking for any items.

• Local Swaps and Hand Me Downs. Why not arrange a swap with your friends? Or call on your neighbour, friend or family member who has a child a few months older than yours? This is a great way to connect with your community and get clothing and other items, out of landfills.

• Church/Garage Sales. There are a wide number of sales that happen throughout the year. Most often they happen in the spring, summer and fall. You can keep an eye on your neighbourhood message boards, church signs, Kijiji and Craigslist for sale announcements. We absolutely love summer street sales and the church sales, such as the rummage sale at Eglinton Saint George's Church and the Great Kids Stuff Sale at St. Clements Church, Toronto.

• Donate and recycle your old clothes. Do you piles of clothes that you just want to donate? Or stained and ripped clothes, that you don't want to throw in the garbage? Contact The New Mom Project and feel good about where your clothes are ending up. The New Mom Project is a charity that supports families that are in need of extra support. They collect ANY item of clothing and if it's not suitable for them, they send it to their partnering clothing recycling program. I cannot praise The New Mom Project enough.  

I am excited to now be acting as the doula contributor for Love Child Organics' tips page.

Here's my first blog post, that's now up on their page. It offers you tips on how to pack an awesome birth snack bag, to keep your endurance up, as well as some delicious recipes for Power Cookies and Labour Aid. 

Enjoy!

We're running a massive contest in honour of Spring! 🌞 

Here's what we're offering:

• $50 of Love Child Organics products (our WINNER is Raquel Cruz)

• $50 gift card to the shop Little White Sneakers (our WINNER is Heather Minelli)

• $50 towards any Sleep Package with Kate Sissons - doula*yoga*educator and a copy of Elizabeth Pantley's The No Cry Sleep Solution for Newborns (our WINNER is Krystal Harris)

• $250 towards any Photography Package with Sarah Tacoma Photography (our WINNER is Christina To)

• $500 towards any Birth Doula Package with Kate Sissons - doula*yoga*educator (our WINNER is Jorien Berg)

Sorry, international friends - our contest is open to residents of Toronto and surrounding areas in Ontario and some prizes, across, CANADA.

Find out more details on how to enter, plus all the rules, on our Facebook Page:

 www.facebook.com/KateSissonsDoulaYogaEducator

Good luck and Happy Spring! 🌷

UPDATE: We are announcing our winners on Facebook Live at 4 p.m. on Monday March 27th EST!!

I have something to tell you. I was traumatised by my birth experience with my daughter, Matilda. Why am I telling you this? Because in hindsight, I think I could have helped myself, prenatally, by being more open to what may happen. And postpartum, by finding ways, early on, to accept my birth and heal myself.

During my pregnancy, I was pretty hell bent on a ‘natural’, med free birth. I felt that I just 'knew' I could do it that way, in the birth pool at home. However, Mother Nature handed me something different and, while it’s taken time, I now accept that.

You often hear people say that childbirth was incredible and they'll never forget it. You will hear stories about how empowering it was, how the baby arrived without pain relief, and so on. And I truly support the validity of their births and the birthing women's emotions. However, mine was quite the opposite, and I feel that this needs to be said, for my own health, and for all of those parents that may have gone through something similar.

It was incredibly difficult to be in pain for so long, realizing that my body ‘wasn't working for me’. My body was cut open, my legs and feet were swollen to huge proportions, and I had a catheter for a month because they cut too deep and nicked my bladder. This all stripped me down to feeling more vulnerable than I’ve ever felt, while trying to hold it together, as I had my newborn baby to look after. I've since learned an incredible amount - about myself, birth, healing and parenthood, and, in a way, I'm grateful for the whole experience. In my work as a pre and postnatal exercise specialist, I now realize how deeply families are affected by birth - it can shake your foundations of confidence and grounding, leaving your mind to question, “Why? What if… Maybe if I’d done or said this or that..” I didn't see it at the time, but what I needed to do was ground down and connect with my body, draw on ways to quiet and calm my busy mind, and truly take the time to help myself heal.

It turns out Matilda’s head was not in a good position to come out, naturally, and that's why she stayed inside my belly for so long. I tried having Matilda at home for four days, and am thankful to the hospital staff for allowing me to continue to attempt labour at the hospital, for the entire day, before going into the operating theatre. A chiropractor told me recently that if she did come out vaginally, she may have had neck compression and physical areas to work through. That makes me feel better, knowing that the C-Section was the best option. I now see that sometimes there is absolutely no other way to get the baby safely out.

"People say that you fall in love when you first see your baby. It is hard to admit this, but I didn't. I did feel that intense love a month after she was born though."

People say that you fall in love when you first see your baby. It is hard to admit this, but I didn’t. I did feel that intense love a month after she was born though, when I went to the hospital and had the catheter removed. I remember feeling like my heart was swelling. It was then I could properly begin healing, to try and put the hospital visits behind me and focus on my beautiful little girl.

A Caesarean Section is a major operation and it's important to take it easy afterwards (as easy as can be with a newborn and possibly more children to look after.) It’s also valuable to bond with your scar, especially if you have regrets or intense feelings about your delivery. I don’t know about you but I cried when I first saw my scar. How do I ‘bond’ with my scar, I hear you say? You can start by placing your hands over it, closing your eyes and taking some deep breaths. Notice what comes up emotionally. Then, perhaps repeat in your mind or out loud the Mantra, ‘I am enough, I did enough, I accept my birth’. Of course, this is not a one time practice, but something that can be repeated daily.

People have often said to me, “as long as you're both ok now, that's all that matters”. That's kind of true. What I have learned through my struggles, over the last couple of years, is that mum and baby (and partners) can all be significantly affected by a difficult birth. So please don’t be afraid to speak up, to acknowledge your truth and say, “actually yeah, that was tough, please can I get some help?” as early as possible. I didn’t address all these deep feelings in the moment, and I now realize that I was suffering from PTSD. For a long time, I was (and maybe still am) grieving the type of birth I thought I could have or was “entitled” to. I had visualized the start to parenthood as being incredibly magical, and it was actually unbelievably difficult. Personally, I needed to mull it over, to feel sad and not mask how I felt. I felt let down by my body. Isn’t that terribly sad? I wish no woman to feel that about herself. BUT here’s the truth - my body is still amazing and my birth was still a birth. I know that now. It's just sad that I didn't offer myself more love or compassion sooner.

Lucy is a yoga teacher, pre and postnatal exercise specialist, and baby massage teacher. After working at a top London gym, Lucy went freelance to run her own business in 2012 and moved to the seaside (Hove) in 2013. She is hugely passionate about teaching, and how yoga helps people to improve physical and emotional health, as well as baby massage — for the same reasons. She lives and works in Hove, England. 

Find more about Lucy and her classes at www.liftpersonal-training.co.uk

I am so pleased to announce that I have started a partnership with Love Child Organics, Toronto. I am a huge fan of their products and so are my kids - we are always well stocked!

As of now, I will be offering all my prenatal and postpartum Toronto clients their own Love Child Organics products - and that includes all workshop attendees.

And as of March, I will be contributing to Love Child Organics' blog. Watch this space - there will be great prenatal, birth, postpartum and infant sleep information coming.

Oh and another exciting development - spring is coming and I'm pretty excited about it. So excited, that I've got a bright and sunny giveaway in the works.  

Our mattress on the floor saved my sanity - it got me the most optimal sleep possible, and also offered my family much more than we initially thought it would. The best part of it, is that it got me these highs in a way that I felt positive about. I am not an advocate for Sleep Training. It is not something I could ever conceivable inflict on myself or my babies. But in complete honesty, I really had very little knowledge on newborn and baby sleep patterns, and a whole lot of misinformation and mislaid expectations on what it should look like. We weren't completely clueless - we did know that we wanted to co-sleep/room share for at least 6 months (more on my cluelessness in another blog post!).  And we knew that babies woke up to feed in the night. But I actually did NOT want to bed share. So, in the beginning we had bassinets, as well as 1 crib in our room, right beside our bed.

But EVERY night we'd go through this ridiculous routine:

1. Get out of bed when the babies woke up.

2. Groggily move into the living room.

3. Putting on my giant tandem breastfeeding pillow, and sitting on our sofa

4. Feeding the babies (sometimes feeling so sleepy that my head would slump, sometimes gulping down water and snacking, sometimes checking my phone).

5. Returning babies to their crib after changing a diaper or two.

6. Get back into bed and trying to fall asleep until the next wake up.

7. And, quite often (and completely normal infant behaviour), my babies often didn't want to go back into the crib, so they came into bed with us so we could sleep. I was so EXHAUSTED from this routine, that unintentional bed sharing happened often. 

8. To top it off, I was often so alert from all this moving, lights inevitably going on, looking at my phone, waiting for my partner to rouse and help me get both babies back in their crib, that I just laid awake fretting about how little sleep I was getting.

Ridiculous, right?!

It wasn't until around 6 months, when we got a second crib in our room, as our babies needed so much more space and could no longer share a crib, that we decided something needed to change. There was literally NO WHERE to move in our bedroom. And my babies started to really hate the cribs even more.

So we got a floor bed. And not only did it help us all get more sleep, it also helped with so much more. Here's how it helped us:

1. Sleep. I no longer had to get out of bed! I stopped checking my phone and there were never any lights being turned on (this really is a no, no! Exposure to light at night wakes you up. Read more about it HERE.). I simply put a baby on each side of me and rolled over when one woke up to nurse. If both woke at the same time, I'd lie on my back and they'd latch while half on my body and half on the bed. I was able to doze through it all. 

Sleeping next to your baby also helps maintain your milk supply (if you're breastfeeding) and the nursing in the night actually helps you get back to sleep and remain drowsy through a feed - breast milk contains tryptophan which helps the body make melatonin, a sleep inducing hormone.

2. Physical Development. My babies have been very active from day one. But having this bed really helped them excel with their physical abilities. They really quickly learned how to back off the bed and crawl back on. And they also loved to use the mattress to...

3. Play. We suddenly had a new place to play, cuddle, and read books!

4. Bonding. Sleeping beside my babies was/is (mostly) warm and cuddly. Of course, there have been MANY nights where I just wanted to curl up on my own and sleep without any touch. But overall it's made our family bond - including trust and security, much stronger. 

5. We have multiple (and comfortable) sleep spaces. We are now able to comfortably and safely play musical beds. This is particularly helpful during times of sickness, teething and early wake ups.

Our situation is not common in our society, but very common across the world. To be honest, I absolutely (mostly) love (d) it. I'm aware that this will not last forever. That my babies will grow up and want to spend less and less time with  me. We will no longer bed share and our mattresses won't be on the floor. I also know that parenting does not run by our chronological clocks - it has no beginning and end once it starts, and we need to be there to support our children at any hour. And it's best to do it in ways that keep everyone as comfortable and well rested as possible.

If you're worried about aesthetics, check out this blog HERE, which outlines various points on how to set up a Montessori style room. This allows for caregivers to snuggle up comfortably when needed. However, I personally would recommend larger mattresses than a crib or single mattress. Slats or a futon base under the bed are also a good option. 

However, for many reasons, it is really not for everyone. And that is ok. There are plenty of other ways, and sleep configurations, to help everyone get more sleep, in a safe and secure way. 

Before I write further, I feel I should explain the title of this blog that seems to suggest (like many women’s magazine) that there is an easy retrieval system for your ‘pre-baby’ body.  The truth is, having a baby changes everything irrevocably – including your body.  I am annoyed and suspect of anything that tells me there is a magic pill or formula for achieving a fantasy because I don’t think life works that way.  Wisdom and results are often hard-won and some things are worth their cost –for example, it is 100% worth it to me that I now have smaller and less perky breasts because I gave birth to an incredible human who breast-fed for two years. While I can’t retrieve the body I once had, what I can do is take care of the body I have NOW while being gentle with my heart and mind as I continue to go through the great metamorphosis that is being a mother, on top of the already monumental task of being a human.

One thing I will say about having a baby vaginally, is that it made me worlds more aware of my pelvic floor and its functions in ways that I had up until that point taken for granted.  Going to see a pelvic floor physiotherapist shed a light on an area that was likely already weak and under-active, even though I was/am a very active person.  Because I am not interested in having prolapse or continence issues as I get older, I was naturally motivated to do muscle stimulation therapy to connect to sensation and strength where I felt disconnected. I was also interested in making a connection physically to a place I knew a lot about, theoretically; I’m a yoga instructor and understand the concept of Mula Bandha (engaging the pelvic floor to increase the pranic (upward-rising) flow of energy) that supports good posture, organ function and overall vitality.  However, I assumed (incorrectly) that because I do yoga I was strong there, when likely that pelvic floor weakness on top of hyper-mobility was at the root of my back and knee issues.  

I first went to a pelvic floor physiotherapist on the advice of another long-time PT who had been helping me with my knees issues years earlier.  She herself had just had a baby and strongly recommended I see someone. I remember going to the office of this new therapist and smugly thinking that I would not have to do much rehab as I had not had any tearing in my natural birth.  You can imagine how humbled I was to learn that on a scale of 0-5 I was maybe a .5 or a 1 in pelvic floor strength. To give you an idea of what those numbers mean, this therapist had suggested that exercises like running should only be attempted when the pelvic floor is at least at a 3.5 or 4. Interestingly, though I continued to work with muscle stimulation, I plateaued doing this therapy and never gained strength beyond a 2 or 2.5.  It was only when I supplemented these sessions with some one-on-one therapeutic Pilates with a good friend and incredible Pilates teacher, Kearsten Lyon, that my physiotherapist really started to take note of my progress.  When I left our sessions she said, whatever you’re doing (in reference to the new Pilates sessions) it’s working. I took that encouragement and ran with it.

Along with working with my Pilates teacher, I started doing more group Pilates classes and came to love the strong, connected feeling I would walk away with that left my muscles and nervous system buzzing with new information and clarity.  Completely inspired by this new way of working so mindfully with the body, a year and a half later, I decided to become a certified Pilates instructor and did my training with Body Harmonics.  Along with yoga, it has become an integral part of my physical practice and something I am now honored to share with my students.

Though my body is not the same as it was before I had a child, I actually think it is a stronger, more connected body. It’s certainly a body I have come to appreciate much more for all its countless functions and capacities. Never again will I see it as merely a shape.  I recognize it now as the awe-inspiring vessel that gave birth to my son and sustained life. That seems like a small/fair trade-off for this weathered body or as Fleur Adcock says so beautifully, “what my soul may wear over its new complexion.”  

Here is her transcendent poem, Weathering, in its entirety:

Literally thin-skinned, I suppose, my face
catches the wind off the snow-line and flushes
with a flush that will never wholly settle. Well:
that was a metropolitan vanity,
wanting to look young for ever, to pass.

I was never a pre-Raphaelite beauty
nor anything but pretty enough to satisfy
men who need to be seen with passable women.
But now that I am in love with a place
which doesn’t care how I look, or if I’m happy,

happy is how I look, and that’s all.
My hair will grow grey in any case,
my nails chip and flake, my waist thicken,
and the years work all their usual changes.
If my face is to be weather-beaten as well

that’s little enough lost, a fair bargain
for a year among the lakes and fells, when simply
to look out of my window at the high pass
makes me indifferent to mirrors and to what
my soul may wear over its new complexion.

Jessica Lemon is a certified yoga and Pilates instructor who has over a decade of studio and private teaching experience. She lives in Toronto with her partner, David, their son Gabriel and her other furry son (cat), Toby Lemon.  When she isn’t teaching, she most enjoys traveling, reading, writing and eating wonderful meals.  Her website is www.jessicalemon.com where you can find her writing and teaching schedule.

This time of the year is harsh on any skin type. The dryness inside, the frigid windy and/or snowy weather outside, takes its toll! As a mother and doula, I've seen my share of skin woes, on myself, my own family and clients and their families. So, I've compiled my Top 7 skin care tips to help get your body through until spring. These really are suitable and helpful for the whole family - both me and partner use all of these tips and my children use most of them. 

1. Find the perfect hand and body wash.

I have 2 favourite hand and body soaps. My first love was Dr Bronner's Pure Castile Liquid Soap. This has become a very popular soap, for good reasons. You don't need much of it, you can use it on your entire body, it comes in large sizes AND you can use it to make your own home cleaners. I love the Mint and Eucalyptus scents for winter (so fresh and reviving!). And I absolutely adore the Baby Unscented soap. Because this is an oil based soap it won't dry you out, but will keep your skin hydrated. And to top this off, all the ingredients are ethically sourced.

My second love is Everyone 3-In-1 Soap (sorry Dr. Bronner's! I still love you and use you!). I actually love everything about these soaps. They smell divine, they don't dry out your skin, they come in large bottles with a pump, you don't need to use much AND they make amazing bubbles! It's a very gentle soap that is also ethically sourced and comes in a recycled bottle.

2. Keep your lips hydrated.

I find I can go through lip balms so quickly. I also have found it hard to find a scent/type that I wanted to return to over and over again. Until I found the Badger brand's lip balm. I originally bought this right before having my twins. I needed a new lip balm and knew that hospitals are notoriously dry, so was desperate for a good one before giving birth. My favourite are the Cocoa Butter Lip Balms. Honestly, these are heavenly! They feel rich and creamy, smell delicious, contain really high quality and non-toxic ingredients, rehydrate and last on your lips for a long time. 

3. Keep the moisture up.

The dryness, inside your home, can easily go unnoticed. But you are going to want to keep it in check, especially when you've got a new baby, and children, in your home. It's so hard for them to feel comfortable and sleep well, when they've been used to the cosy womb. It's also so hard for children of all ages to sleep well in dryness and with congestion. A humidity meter and a humidifier are an absolute MUST for keeping this under control. They really can do wonders! 

I love keeping track of the humidity and temperature in my home - my personality loves to keep things on track! My favourite is the Therma Pro Humidity Mointor. It tracks your temperature and humidity, giving you a high and low for the day, as well as the current reading. It also tells you if the temperature or humidity is considered high or low. Note: an ideal temperature is between 16-21℃ and the humidity should be around 50%.

The world of humidifiers is vast! Wow! When we started looking, when I was still pregnant, I could not believe the options out there. We've gone through a few models and I'm very happy with the one we've settled on because it offers so many functions and has a LARGE vat.  It's called The Heaven Fresh Cool and Warm Humidifier, and as the name states, it offers a cool and warm mist option. It also has an aroma option, which I am a huge fan of. My only qualm with this humidifier is the blue light and the noise. I cannot get to sleep with ANY form of light or sound. A thick piece of tape over the screen helps and so does the timer option. I'll often fill the room with mist before I sleep and set the timer to turn it on when I'm already asleep.

4. Get some scents going.

Diffusers are essentially a smaller humidifier that have an option for scents. They also offer other health properties, which you can find more about HERE. I personally, am mainly a fan of filling my house with warming and cleansing scents. Saje is my favourite place for sourcing oils. They are a Canadian company, that produce high quality products, in absolutely beautiful packaging. The employees are also extremely helpful, friendly and knowledgeable, in explaining the value and properties of each item. From my experience, they are also amazing at pointing you in the right direction, based on your personal needs. My favourites right now are the blends from Saje's Good Health collection. The Immune and Tranquility are exactly what I've needed through the start of this holiday season!

5. Re-hydrate with oils.

I love using oils. I love them because they are economical, healthy, pure and can be used for so many purposes. I have a range of oils that I like to have on hand. Each oil has its own specific health and healing properties, as well as scent. So you'll need to try out a few to see what suits your skin the best. My go tos are:

• Avocado Oil. An oil filled with fats and proteins, as well as vitamins and minerals, making it wonderful for consumption and for your skin. The best avocado oil, that I use externally, is Now Foods Avocado Oil. 

• Sweet Almond Oil. An oil rich in fatty acids and vitamin E, almond oil can be used as a cleanser and also to rejuvenate and hydrate dry skin. The best is that it won't clog your pores. It is also amazing to use in a homemade salad dressing. Now Foods Sweet Almond Oil is by far the best. 

• Coconut Oil. Oh I ADORE coconut oil! I use it for cooking, baking, as a spread on toast and on my own and my family's skin. Check out this post HERE on 20 ways to use coconut oil. We were huge fans of Nutiva Coconut Oil and while we still do love this brand, we're currently trying Organic Veda Virgin Coconut Oil. It is really lovely stuff. 

• Rosehip Seed Oil. This is another oil rich in fatty acids. It helps repair and nourish skin, is a natural source of vitamin C (an anti ageing antioxidant) and can also be used as a cleanser. Check out Now Foods Rosehip Seed Oil.

• Rosewater. This is not an oil, but is usually sold as a spray. It blends easily into your skin and is so sweet and refreshing. It can act as a cleanser, and can help ease the redness and inflammation associated with eczema and dermatitis. The Heritage Store Rose Petal Rosewater is divine!

Oils are also great to use in combination with a body brush. Brushing is amazing in the winter. It helps get your blood flowing and keep your skin looking amazing, but keeping the shedding of old skin in check. I like this one from Joyous Health, as well as this circular one. You can also source any of these oils and brushes at Noah's Natural Foods or The Big Carrot, in Toronto. Or any other health food store. 

6. Get healthy from the inside out.

My top foods for winter (of course mixed amongst a balance of other foods!) are:

• Lemon water and honey and teas EVERY - SINGLE - DAY
• Avocado
• Flax
• Smoothies
• Soups and Stews

I am a mega, mega fan of Joy McCarthy of Joyous Health. She is a wealth of knowledge and creates the most mouth watering, scrumptious and easy to make recipes. She talks about all of these wonderful foods in her first book and her newest book Joyous Detox (it comes out soon! I pre-ordered it months ago and am greatly anticipating it!).

7. Make your scalp tingle.

I've gone through a lot of shampoos. I am a huge fan of sourcing a good quality shampoo, that uses natural based ingredients - for my own health and the health of our planet. My current favourite is Aveda's Rosemary and Mint Shampoo. It really does make my scalp tingle and fills up the bathroom with an amazing scent. I combine it with their scalp oil. You can leave it on for how ever long you have before you wash your hair. The best I've found is leaving it over night. I used to do this with coconut oil, but find that Aveda's oils don't leave residue marks on pillow cases and their much easier to fully wash out. 

I hope these 7 Tips help your skin thrive through the winter. Remember, all skin types are different and react in various ways to ingredients. So, not all of these products will be the best for you and your family. However, all of the brands I've included have so many options that I'm sure you'll find what works for you.

💝 Wishing you, and your skin,

and a very healthy and happy holiday season!🌲

Those who knew me pre-kids, were probably well aware of my interest and passion for yoga. They were also probably conscious of how often I practiced and how this was very important to my well being. I'm not going to lie - it's been a hard practice of accepting all the changes that parenthood brings to my life. But it's also been extremely deep and rewarding. It's brought me so much further into my yoga practice, way beyond the physical and deep into my core and my heart. 

Here's 3 big areas that parenting and my yoga practice have taught me. Of course, all these areas were well known to me prior to having kids. However, they have now become majorly emphasized.

1. After the Ecstasy the Laundry:

"Life offers us just what it offers, and our task is to bow to it, to meet it with understanding and compassion. There are no laurels to acquire. (Kornfield, p.134)." 

After the Ecstasy the Laundry, is the name of a book by Jack Kornfield. I return to this title so often. Essentially, the title is referring to the fact that life is not constant euphoria. After the carefree highs, of love, of birth, of first smiles, first foods, and so on, we have to face the piles of laundry, the dishes, the diapers, the crying... But we have the choice on how we face these "chores" and struggles. Do we face them with dread and disappointment, or do we really give ourselves over to these moments? It's so easy to get caught up in the daily grind, the never ending repetition of these tasks. Approaching them in a slightly different mind frame can help. Pay attention to each fold of fabric, how it feels on your skin, the colours, the shapes...essentially, approach as your children do - a new experience, a game, a joy, even. It's certainly not "easy", but I promise it can make it so much more bearable!

2. Slooow Down and This Too Shall Pass:

"In the inevitable rising and falling, the cycles of expansion and contraction as you give birth to yoursefl, there may be moments to push, to strive towards a goal. But more frequently the task is one of letting go, of finding a gracious heart that honors the changes of life (Kornfield, p.133)."

Oh, yes this is a hard one to master, especially with SO much to do and SO much going on. It is hard to keep this in mind when you're running on empty, when you're stepping on and tripping over toys, when you've been trying to get out the door for 30 mins and suddenly need to change a diaper. All of our kids grow up. All of them end up sleeping for longer stretches, in separate rooms from us and ultimately, far away from us. They'll be out of diapers, feeding and dressing themselves.  And rather than trying to get them out of our doors, we'll be wanting them to come through to visit more often. Repeat this mantra often. This too shall pass and we'll be onto a new phase. I guarantee that we'll then be missing these cuddles and kisses from our tiny humans. 

 I remember during the early months of postpartum, feeling stuck to the sofa. I literally had to be fed by my partner, as I was breastfeeding all the time. I love to move and it started to make me feel anxious and upset. But in all honesty, it shifted so quickly. And now, with 2 toddlers I am more than making up for all that sitting.  

3. It's not all about the physical - but the physical practice is AMAZING, REWARDING and SO BENEFICIAL:

"When we listen to our bodies, our bodily wisdom grows. We can feel the body's urge to move and honor its cycles of rest, we can meditate and dance, we can respect its need for solitude, we can allow its lively senses, and we can know its pleasures and limitations (Kornfield, p.188)."

You cannot pour from an empty cup - this is a very true adage that all parents need to keep in mind. One extremely rewarding and truly beneficial way of filling your cup, is doing something physical. Yoga asana (the physical postures) practice blends more active, yang, movements with the calmer, deeper, stillness of yin movements. It really is a practice that can be modified to suit your mood and your day. It does not have to be prescriptive - sometimes my yoga involves a lot of dance, jumps and arm balances. Other days it involves, lots of stretchy, long, deep holds. Regardless, when the movements are the right ones for your body, on that day, in that moment, you will feel more in tune with yourself, more centred and just generally good. 

This is a daily practice. I am by no means anywhere close to achieving all of these tips constantly. I ebb and flow through them and often need to stand still and reflect, questioning my mood and attitude towards each situation, and modify myself accordingly. But each day I wake up, with the aim of keeping my heart full, remaining in tune with my body, and keeping my mind in check.  

I have twins. Enough said, right? We've definitely had our sleep challenges and yes, it has been amplified by the fact that we had 2 babies and now have 2 toddlers. If one gets sick and is up all night, the other is bound to get it. So 2 days of lost sleep turns into 4. Or, another more regular scenario, I crawl into bed exhausted from chasing these active children around all day. What do I hear? Peep...squeak, one wants to nurse, so they do, and they fall back asleep. Oh, and now of course, here's the second one, peep...squeak...And here's my mind whirling:

 Will I ever sleep again? I'm so tired. I should've gone to bed earlier. They're almost 2 and still nursing in the night? Should something be DONE about this? I'm envious of all those people out there who sleep straight through the night...I feel like I am I the only one doing this.

This is an internal, and external, dialogue that many, many parents have. I’ve had it with myself, and with others, often. The peak for me was around 4 or 5 months. This is one of the most common age ranges that clients request support with. Support is needed for a multitude of reasons, including:

• This is the age where a lot of professionals and family expect that babies should be sleeping through the night or sleeping for long periods of time.
• This is a period of time where “experts” suggest it is ok to begin sleep training and "cry it out" is said to be "safe".
• Around 4 or 5 months babies are going through a great mental leap. They are beginning to understand the distance between things. The world has now become a “very big place in which he is but a tiny, if very vocal, speck (The Wonder Weeks, Online Resources).” This means that while baby may have begun sleeping for longer stretches of time, they are now waking up more. 
• This time is often known as the 4 month sleep regression. I'm almost positive, if you are parent, that you've heard of this. Really, though it truly is a PROGRESSION. The leaps and positive growth that babies are making are immense.
• Babies and children have genuine NEEDs at night and wake to appease these needs. They could be nutritional and hunger needs, comfort (physical contact, diaper needs etc.) and so on. Wake ups are a survival tactic!
• Because of the above factors, there is so much pressure directed at parents, forcing them to question their parenting skills and to DO SOMETHING (and most of these actions are disrespectful and non-gentle methods). They are also, most likely exhausted and need some support, positive validation and encouragement.

The above factors do continue to happen again at different ages, in slightly different variations. Parents want the best for their babies and the fear that is abounding around sleep does not help them trust their own, very wise and intuitive, judgement.

So, here is THE BIG QUESTION: when do babies sleep through the night? And importantly, when will YOUR baby sleep through the night? Well, first of all, "sleeping through the night" is not what most people think - about 5 hours is technically sleeping through the night. Added to this, is that the majority of children won't start "sleeping like adults," for longer than 5 hour blocks, until they are around the age 4. Yes, you did read all of that correctly. Interestingly, this correlates to the time when major brain development tapers off.  Between the ages of 0-4, our brains go through the most rapid development and this of course will affect sleep. This of course is a range and EVERY baby and child is different. It is also very common (and normal) for older children to wake up and seek comfort (think stress at school, nightmares etc.).

I really love to suggest to parents (and always remind myself) to put themselves in their children’s shoes. Think about a day where you’ve had a lot going on. Maybe you’ve been busy all day, running around, interacting with new people, taking in new sights, smells, and/ora tastes and it’s exhausting. Are you able to fall asleep easily? What are your dreams like? Do you wake up in the night? Are you confused by your surroundings? Do you start craving your comforts? Now magnify that significantly.

As adults we have DEVELOPED the ability to comfort ourselves to sleep, to comfort ourselves when we wake up in the night, to recognize our own signs of tiredness, and so on over an entire lifetime. Our babies and small children still need our support and that is ok. It's beautiful, even. As convenient as it might seem, night time parenting does not end at 7 p.m. and pick up again in the morning. Of course, knowing all of this, does not make it easy to night time parent. It might make it easier, but not easy. It also does not mean there is nothing to do. However, it does mean that we need to have realistic expectations of ourselves and our children.

 Losing sleep is not fun, to put it simply. Sleep is so important for anyone's health. Even with the multitude of studies that have been conducted on sleep, scientists still don't really know WHY we sleep. However, they do know that sleep has major benefits on our bodies. What happens when we don't get enough sleep? 

• We have cognitive problems. We may lose focus, have raised anxiety levels and increased levels of irritability.
• The 'garbage' in our brains literally does not get filtered.
• Internal and external health problems.
• And so much more.

We all know this, because surely we've all felt it before. But realistically, what are we all doing about it? Ipads, phones and lights at bedtime. Staying up too late and waking up too early. We go back to work when our babies are still young and waking in the night. Some of this is definitely societal, family, financial and other pressures. And some of this is definitely due to our own choices.

So if our babies aren't sleeping through the night and we're exhausted, doubting ourselves, losing our patience, feeling pressure to 'sleep train', what do we do? There are a range of things, some more general and most, specific to your own situation. Generally, you will want to look at the following areas:

• What is my/children's sleep environment like? Is it safe? Is it healthy?
• What/whose ideals am I adhering to? What feels right to me? Am I trusting my gut or someone else's concerns/advice?
• What are my sleep needs? How can I meet those needs? How can I take naps/rest/me time during the day?
• Are there other areas of my life that I need to attend to? Will this help my overall satisfaction as a parent and as a person?
• Do I get enough fresh air and exercise? What is my diet like?
• What social/personal supports do I have to help me out?

Here's just one flaw with many sleep training programs - they do not take into consideration the uniqueness of each family. Many are quick fix, cookie cutter and prescriptive plans. They are not long lasting because they do not respect the nature of infant and children's sleep needs or the complexity of family life. This is where a compassionate, well trained Sleep Educator steps in. 

As a Sleep Educator, here's what I WILL help you with:

• Providing a gentle and respectful approach to sleep
• Analyzing and optimizing your sleep environment.
• Understanding and developing sleep routines.
•  Understanding infant and adult sleep needs.
• Modifying and optimizing other areas of your life.
• Recognizing your short term and long term goals.
• Offers of referrals for sleep and other wellness needs.
• Offers of  reassurance and support.

And here is what I will NOT do:

• Make your children sleep through the night.
• Offer any methods of Cry It Out or traditional sleep training, that refuses love and touch.
• Offer any medical diagnosis or treatment.
• Push you in any direction that does not feel right. 

A friend of mine once commented that eating a lot at one meal is like a reserve for later, and it would negate the need to eat another meal in the day. Another friend responded by saying that, "we are not food camels. We do not store our food for later." Well, the same goes for sleep. I often catch myself thinking, “If only we were sleep camels and we could bank our sleep.” Unfortunately, we can't and we need to have it daily. So until we learn how to store our sleep, we need to find ways to optimize our time and spaces, so that our entire families can get the most optimal sleep possible. 

And with that, good night. I am off to bed.

References

Brandie Hadfield with bebo mia. Infant Sleep Educator Training, Summer 2016.

Dr Sears et al. The Baby Sleep Book: The Complete Guide to a Good Night’s Rest for the Whole Family. (New York: Hachette Book Group, Inc., 2005).

 Dr Sears. Blog entry, “Teaching Empathy to Children.” Available at <http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/teaching-empathy>

Jon Hamilton. "Brains Sweep Themselves Clean of Toxins During Sleep." Available at <http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/10/18/236211811/brains-sweep-themselves-clean-of-toxins-during-sleep>

Meredith F. Small. Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent.  (New York: Anchor, 1999) p.109-137

The Urban Child Institute. "Why 0-3?" Available at <http://www.urbanchildinstitute.org/why-0-3/baby-and-brain>

 The Wonder Weeks Milestone Guide: Your Baby's Sleep and Crying Explained, online resources. "Mental Leap 5 - Week 26" Available at <https://www.thewonderweeks.com/mental-leap-5/>

I am only just a tad bit biased 😉  but I'm going to have to say a resounding YES, YES, YES - prenatal education classes are so important! However, many people still seem to think that they don't need to attend Childbirth Education classes. Common reasons I've heard are: 

I already attended a class with a previous pregnancy.

I don't need one because I have support from a doula.

They're boring and too time consuming. I also can't find one that is close by and convenient.  

Of course, it is personal preference, but it takes just a tiny bit of research to see why antenatal classes are important. 

Here are five reasons why ANY expectant parent should attend an antenatal class:

·       Empowerment. Penny Simkin, renowned Physical Therapist, Childbirth Educator, Doula and part founder of DONA international, conducted a study about birth satisfaction. Through her research, she found that it did not matter so much what went on with the birth and whether or not it wavered from the birthing person's initial plan. What mattered MOST was that the person had a sense of ownership and felt empowered by making their own decisions.  Dissatisfaction came from experiences where families felt that choices were made for them. Childbirth Education classes helps encourage this empowerment, through the next 4 areas.

·       Knowledge. This is (sort of) a given. Good quality Childbirth Education classes are brimming with up to date, evidence based, information. Knowledge really is powerful. Antenatal classes empower parents through information, allowing them to make choices that will affect their care.  In the 1960s to mid 1980s, Childbirth Education was at its peak, with classes being seen as essential to any pregnancy. Armed with this new found knowledge about birthing options, consumers demanded better care. And "hospitals responded by increasing birthing choices, improving anaesthesia and birth facilities (Simkin, 2016)."

Nowadays, knowledge still is powerful and useful to inspire change. Going into a birth experience armed with knowledge will help birthing families make informed decisions, based on their personal needs. Learning what is "normal" helps allow families to gain a better trust in their bodies and their own decisions, as well as that of their care providers. It helps them understand when interventions are truly needed and when they can be avoided.

·       Fear. Connie Livingston discussed fear of childbirth in a recent Webinar on Childbirth Education. She outlined the fact that the majority of birthing families harbour fear towards childbirth. Childbirth Education classes offer a forum for families to work through their fears and concerns, through a variety of means. This may be through discussions, art or writing, role play, and other games and activities.

·       Practical Preparation. A large component of prenatal classes should be practical. Of course, no labour is predictable. But the more we see and do something, the more likely our bodies will respond that way in other situations (muscle memory!). High quality prenatal education will weave the practice of labour positions, affirmations, breathing, and much more, throughout the sessions. It will also offer families ways to incorporate practicing the material into their daily lives.

·       Advocacy and Support. One great benefit of childbirth education classes is that participants are put in contact with other families that are growing at the same time as theirs. This is an amazing resource for the duration of their pregnancies and the postpartum stage. Likewise, the leader of prenatal classes can act as an advocate, pointing families in the right direction, in order to access pertinent resources.

But of course, not all classes are created equal and not all of these outcomes will be achieved with every prenatal class. Like with most things, we need to consider the details and what elements will suit our individual needs. 

Here are 5 things to consider when choosing a class:

1.     Venue. Where the course is located, as well as the specifics of the space, will undoubtedly affect how you respond to the material.

 When choosing a class it helps to consider the following: Is it convenient for your family? Will you be able to attend all the classes, based on the location? What is the space like? Does it feel safe and comfortable? Do you prefer a hospital setting/a studio/a home?

2.     Duration. It is clear that the more time we devote to learning a topic, the more likely we are to properly understand it. It is also valuable to learn information across a longer span of time, as this helps us digest it and really take it in. However, we are all busy people with many life obligations! Just make sure you’ve weighed up the value of the length of different classes.

When choosing a class try to think about the following: How long is each class? Does it span across a month or two? Is it one weekend long? How much time are you willing to devote to this learning experience?

3.     Topics covered. Families who have had very little experience with birth and infancy, will require a very different class to parents who already have 1 or more children. Likewise, previous work or life experience will influence what you already know. Keep in mind though that every pregnancy, birth and postpartum period is different. Even Childbirth Educator Connie Livingston, who has 5 children, attended a Childbirth Education class with each pregnancy!

When choosing a class it might be useful to think about the following: Is this a class specific for completely new parents or a “refresher class” for “experienced” families? What areas will the classes focus on? Is there a lot of time built in to practice labour positions, breathing, and other birth coping mechanisms? Will the class cover medical interventions, such as epidurals or inductions? Is infant care covered and in what depth?

4.     Experience of teacher. Experience in years doesn't always equate with the best quality (although it can). Actual life experience will likely greatly affect the quality of a class.

 When looking for a class thinking about the following may be useful: Where did the teacher train and with what organization? What other life and past work experience does the teacher offer that will add to the classes? Does the educator have children of their own and do you feel this is important?

5.   Style and philosophy of classes. If you want to avoid “boring classes” ensure that you’ve looked around at different classes and “interviewed” a variety of teachers. Find the teacher that speaks to you. Ask about their class outline and what practical activities will be involved. Great teachers are more than happy to talk  about and fine tune their classes to meet students individual needs.

When choosing a class you may want to consider the following: Will the classes offer a holistic model or a more medical model of care? Are the class plans developed by the teacher, an organization, or a combination? What types of activities and resources will be offered? Is there a reading or reference list offered? 

So what do you think? Is Childbirth Education important? What would/do/have you looked for in a prenatal education class?

REFERENCES

 Simkin, P., (2016 September) The Tipping Point(s) in Childbirth Education and the Price of Ignorance. [Webinar], Gold Learning Childbirth Education Online Symposium. Retrieved from: http://www.goldlearning.com/ce-library/all-lectures/product-type/webinar/symposium-childbirth-education-detail

 Simkin, P., Allen, C., Livingston, C., Weeks, C., Gates, V., Weiss, R.E. (2016 October). Why Childbirth Education is Still Important. [Webinar]. InJoy: Birth and Parenting Education. Retrieved from: http://injoyvideos.com/why-childbirth-education-is-still-important

What is a Doula?

With doulas becoming a more common household name, many people are under the impression that doulas are a new, trendy service. This is far from the case! Women have been helping women birth, since birth began.

However, what is relatively new, is a professionalization of the service. This offers the birthing family and the doula clarity on their roles, and ensures everyone is safe. With that said, it's so important for anyone hiring a doula to know the roles and limitations of a doula. So here you go. As I am a DONA certified Birth and Postpartum Doula, I'm adhering to their Code of Ethics.

BIRTH DOULA

You will find that a birth doula will offer the following:

• Access to educational resources
• Emotional and physical support
• Continuous support during labor and birth
• Supports the labouring person's primary support team
• Early postpartum and breast/bottle feeding support

You should NEVER find a birth doula offering the following:

• Act or speak for the labouring person or their family
• Impose personal biases or tell the family what to do
• Replace the support people in the labouring person's life
• Offer any medical/clinical advice or support

POSTPARTUM DOULA

A postpartum doula offers the following:

• Helps new parents adjust to parenthood over the course of the first 3 months (or more) of their baby(ies) life
• Physical and emotional support to new family
• Assists with breastfeeding and/or other feeding methods
• Help siblings adjust to changes
• Help with light household tasks - laundry, dishes etc.
• Help parents have time for personal tasks - i.e. showering
• Offer links to community resources

A postpartum doula does not:

• Impose any parenting opinions
• Provide any medical advice or diagnosis
• Act as a babysitter or nanny
• Replace your primary support system

How will a doula benefit a birthing or postpartum family?

If you've started doing any research on doulas, you will have come across many stats outlining their benefits. There are so many!

Here's what DONA says:

"Numerous clinical studies have found that a doula’s presence at birth

• Tends to result in shorter labors with fewer complications
• Reduces negative feelings about one’s childbirth experience
• Reduces the need for pitocin (a labor-inducing drug), forceps or vacuum extraction and cesareans
• Reduces the mother’s request for pain medication and/or epidurals

Research shows parents who receive support can:

• Feel more secure and cared for
• Are more successful in adapting to new family dynamics
• Have greater success with breastfeeding
• Have greater self-confidence
• Have less postpartum depression
• Have lower incidence of abuse"

Doulas offer increased confidence and satisfaction and a higher chance of healthy outcomes for everyone involved. What a gift!

What should we ask a prospective doula?

It's important that you, and your support people find a doula that is the right match. You should all get along and feel comfortable with each other. By all means, use recommendations, but make sure that the doula gels with you. According to DONA "The way that you feel with a doula is more important than the number of births that they have attended or how many new families they have nurtured." Unlike your OB or midwife (who offer you medical support), your doula will offer continuity of care - they do not operate by the clock or shift, and will most likely be there supporting you for a long time. That means that you should meet prospective doulas face to face, have a talk and ask some questions. 

Some important areas to consider are:

• Training and relevant qualifications
• Clear fees, refund policy and a contract 
• A back up doula that you are able to meet
• Experience helping families as a doula, or in another relevant field
• Philosophies about birth and the postpartum period
• The types of prenatal and postpartum support that are offered. Some doulas have restrictions on their support.
• When and how to contact your doula 
• Criminal background check, CPR and medical history

Please send me a message to find out more about my birth and postpartum doula services or anything doula related.