This evening, we were all getting ready to head out for the day when my coworker Bruce turned to me and said, “My wife would be very happy to know we weren’t the only ones who had our Christmas trees still up.”

Pam and Gonzo, two of my other coworkers, turned to me and said in disbelief, “You still have your Christmas tree up?”

By the look on their faces, one would’ve thought I admitted to biting the heads off puppies.

“Yes…” I said reluctantly. “But I took it off the automatic timer last Friday. I just liked coming home to a lit apartment.”

“Yeah, but you could do that with a regular lamp,” Pam said.

Darn Pam and her logical thinking!

And then they said I may as well keep it up and change the Christmas decorations for Valentine’s decorations and make it a Valentine’s Tree. And then change that for green clovers and leprechauns and make it a St. Patrick’s day tree. And then change that later with red white and blue streamers to make a 4th of July tree, LOL

So I finally took it down tonight when I got home. I was fine living with my shame in secret, but as soon as my coworkers started making plans for a year round tree, I didn’t want to have that hanging over my head lol. I’ve been meaning to take it down for the last couple weeks though. It’s interesting how a Christmas tree can transform from this magical decoration into the most resented piece of crap in a time span of only a few weeks. But yes, thankfully it’s gone and here is my proof!

Well, it takes a village to lose weight and change your life.

Recently I had a follow up appointment with my doctor. I see him every couple months to check my progress and get refills on medication. This most recent visit was a particularly uplifting one. I had not only maintained my weight loss over the holidays, but I also managed to lose a little more. “You are doing excellent,” my doctor said. “Most people gain 3 or 4 pounds over the holidays, but you lost it. And your blood pressure is 118 over 80! I don’t think we’ve seen numbers that low since you’ve been coming here. I’m so proud of you.”

I never really thought I would actually find satisfaction in hearing those words come from my doctor, a man who I’ve really only been seeing for less than a year, but it was a huge boost. I’ve had doctors in the past all tell me the same thing: lose weight, exercise, eat right, blah, blah, blah. I don’t know why that message decided to stick this time around, but I’m glad it has.

It helps to have a physician you feel comfortable with. And it helps to have a support group of people to give you boosts of confidence here and there when you share good news like losing another pound or getting a workout in, which that LoseIt app and my MMEW12 group has given me. Now this little bit of encouragement has left me wanting more so that when I come back in March for my next checkup, I’ll have made even more progress.

I haven’t been in the kitchen like this in a while, but it’s nice to be back. With my healthy lifestyle, I’ve mostly been eating very simple, basic foods who’s calories can be accounted for pretty easily in my LoseIt app.

Today I was feeling particularly nostalgic for a soup I discovered a few years ago when I went to my first Thai restaurant: Tom Kha Gai, a rich, savory soup with coconut milk, tamarind soup base, and chicken. I’ve made this soup in the past, but it’s been a long time so I decided to recreate it, this time documenting the recipe. There’s an alternate version of this soup called Tom Yum Gai (same  flavors, no coconut milk), but I love the pairing of rich coconut milk with the sour tamarind soup base and haven’t been able to stray.

Tom Kha Gai

For the Broth

• 3 cups chicken broth
• 1 15 oz. can of coconut milk (regular, but you can use light)
• 1 stalk lemon grass (the dried stuff doesn’t compare, but use it if you have to)
• 1 inch piece of galangal root (use ginger if you can’t find it)
• 2 tablespoons palm sugar (or light brown sugar if you can’t find it)
• 1 tablespoon chili garlic sauce
• 1 bunch cilantro stalks

Soup Components

• 1 – 2 chicken breasts, cut into 1 inch pieces
• 1 can straw mushrooms
• 1 large tomato, diced
• 2 tablespoons tamarind soup base, or more depending on how sour you like it (also known as Sinigang to Filipinos)
• 2 tablespoons fish sauce

First, make the soup. Peel and slice the galangal or ginger. Wash the cilantro stalks (the stalks have a lot of flavor and will hold up better on a high simmer). In a medium sauce pan over medium high heat, add all the broth ingredients (chicken broth, coconut milk, lemon grass, galangal or ginger, palm sugar, chili garlic sauce, cilantro stalks). Bring to a high simmer for at least 15 minutes. Strain broth and return to medium high heat.

Add the soup components (chicken breasts, straw mushrooms, tomato, tamarind soup base, and fish sauce). For this amount of soup, I only used 1/2 packet of the tamarind soup base, but if you like your soup sour, you may want to add more. Simmer on medium high heat for 30 minutes.

When ready to serve, chop a handful of cilantro and add to soup. Serve with lime wedges.

Volume 11, originally uploaded by krisalis903.

I decided to start the year with a new journal. The previous one was ok and in fact I still had pages left in it, but I thought it was an appropriate time to start fresh in a new book.

Like most of my journals, I bought this one at Barnes & Noble. I don’t buy journals exclusively from B&N. I mostly buy them there out of convenience. I like to spend time and effort picking out a journal in person–opening and closing them, laying them flat to test their flexibility, examining the spines and covers for durability, running my thumbs over the pages, and examining the weight of the paper. It’s almost a ritual.

When I choose a journal, I browse the available stock and ask myself, “What am I feeling like today?”

Am I feeling formal and self-indulgent (embossed leather bound)? Am I feeling whimsical (pretty pictures on cover pages)? Am I feeling modern (simple book with a design on the front)?

Yesterday I guess I was just feeling pretty. I almost bought a different book. It had a soft cover with a coated, linen texture to it. The pages were a mixture of lined, unlined, and graphed with whimsical designs on each. I ended up putting that one back solely on the thin pages. I write with a heavy black pen so I need something more heavy weight.

One of these days, I’m going to make my own journal by hand. Bookbinding is one of those hobbies I’ve always researched, but haven’t gotten into due to lack of time and the expense. Nevertheless, it’s on my list.

Izzie hates it when I leave for work in the mornings. How does she show it? Usually by ignoring me. She will stay in the bedroom as I’m getting ready to leave and not even bother to come out and say bye when I open the door. Except this morning, I kept talking to her from the living room, calling her name and telling her I was leaving. She quietly crept out of her bed and peeked her head out of the room. I didn’t notice it until I was almost out the door.

So I took a picture to remind myself that even when she doesn’t show it, she still cares.

Unfortunately though, it’s putting a strain on my new healthy lifestyle. How, you ask?

The food pins!

If anything sabotages my diet, it’s going to be the food pins on Pinterest (and surprisingly not the fact that I work above a pizza place). So far though, I’m being extremely good. I’m still drooling over the photos, but that’s all.

Drool, repin for later, and move on.

On another note, I watched The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo last week with my book club. I thoroughly enjoyed it, probably more so than the Swedish movie. First of all, Daniel Craig. Second of all, Trent Reznor. Third, the changes they made in this movie were a little more tolerable than the changes they made in the Swedish movie.

I still haven’t read the second or third books in the series, although now that I still have the first book fresh in my mind, I’m thinking of reading it while I have a lull (I’m a month ahead on my reading for my book club so I have a few weeks to fit in another book.

I did start reading a book The Queen’s Fool: A Novel (Boleyn) (affiliate link) by Philippa Gregory. I’ve never read any of her books before, but I tend to like period novels like this one plus I’ve heard a lot of good things about her.

Today is just going to be a quick update. I’ll probably post a video update on Wednesdays o stay tuned!

I was a bad mommy tonight.

I was out late watching Girl with a Dragon Tattoo tonight, much later than usual. Initially I had planned to leave work at about 5:30 so I could quickly run home, walk Izzie, feed her, and then make it to the movie theater by 6:45.

Unfortunately a call came in from one of the social media managers regarding a pretty important account at 5:40 so what time did I leave the office? 6:10 There was no way I was going to be able to make the movie if I went home to walk Izzie.  My office was already halfway between home and the theater and getting to that part of town was already going to be questionable considering it was rush hour. So I took a chance. I went straight to the movie theater knowing full well I wouldn’t be home until past 9:00.

It was 10:30 when I got home.

When I walked through the front door, Izzie was wagging her bottom and jumping and nipping at me a little more enthusiastically. Then this is what I see on the living room floor.

“It was past 10:00 and you weren’t home yet. I thought if I brought out your favorite movie, you’d come home.”

That’s when I promised always come home before going out. Like a good mommy should.

12/365

I took a picture of my last naughty breakfast. And I call it a naughty breakfast because I knew I shouldn’t have been eating it, but I ate it anyway. As I stare at that photo, I long to feel the crunch of the hash browns between my teeth. And I dream of cutting into that soft egg yolk, watching it run all over the plate, before wiping it up with a little sausage. Yes, my mouth waters just thinking of it.

But that was my past. I accept it, and now I must move on.

Sunday I had a good start. I ate relatively well and within my daily caloric intake limit. Yesterday was the absolute PITS. I felt TERRIBLE. Mostly I was just ridiculously tired yesterday afternoon. I couldn’t focus, my stomach was grumbling, I kept wanting to take a nap, and yet somehow I managed to get most of my work done. I think part of it was I didn’t get enough sleep the night before.

It’s the third day since I officially committed (that sounds like I’m in an insane asylum). And I’m feeling much, MUCH better. I actually have energy. I don’t want to crawl into a hole and die. I feel good.

(BTW, I don’t want to say “since I started my diet” because a diet is something you attempt even though you know you’re eventually going to quit. And I don’t want to quit. I want this to be permanent. I want to change my lifestyle.)

There are a couple things I’m learning about myself in this process.

Thing #1: I love meat. For some people, their weakness is sweets or salty processed carbs like potato chips. Mine? It’s meat. Last night I picked up a rotisserie chicken from Boston Market so that I could make a few meals during the week. I had to shred some of the chicken breast for my salad, which is usually when I snack on the skin of the chicken.

Oh yes. That salty, delectable skin.

Seriously, my mouth was watering as I separated it from the meat. And it took so much mental effort to avoid eating it. Finally I just had to take a bite and it was existential.

You know that fast food, fried chicken joint Grandy’s. I can remember as a kid, that used to be my favorite place in the whole world. I loved it because it was located on the way home from church, so occasionally I would be able to convince my parents we needed to go there for lunch afterward. Once I was the last one eating at the table because I was still gnawing on a chicken bone like a little wolf cub. My sisters were so annoyed with me, but my mom, and this is why I love her, told them to leave me alone.

Thing #2: Portion control is an eye opener. Recommended serving size for most meats in general is about 3 oz. 3 oz.! That’s like the size of the palm of my hand.

And I once had a chicken fried steak bigger than my face!

From Babe’s Chicken Dinner House. And it was amazing, not gonna lie.

So yeah, retraining my brain to recognize what a normal portion is is the biggest battle right now. I’ve been reading this book called The Volumetrics Weight-Control Plan : Feel Full on Fewer Calories (affiliate link) and it’s been one of the most informative and practical nutrition books I’ve ever read. I picked it up from Half Price Books last summer and it’s been on my night stand ever since.

But more on that in an upcoming post. It’s almost bedtime and I need my energy for tomorrow. Things are looking up

For those of you who were following my videos on YouTube, never fear, I’ll still continue to do my video updates. I’ll just mix it up a little, incorporate some cards, probably work on my SMASH book and add more pages to my album.

The next project I’m starting is definitely a challenge. It’s a with Cathy Zielske called Move More, Eat Well. It’s a year long journey to better health and a better life in 2012.

Let’s just hope the Mayans weren’t right and the world won’t come to an end because it would be a shame if I wouldn’t be able to accomplish this.

And yes, my failure at this would be due to a slight case of armageddon and not my lack of willpower. See? Optimism.

I attended the first live chat this week during my lunch break and I gotta say, I’m totally excited (and a little nervous) about starting this project and documenting it. We’re supposed to get assignments every month, but hopefully that’ll keep me on track.

My weight has always been something I’ve battled with since childhood. I’ve never been skinny. I’ve always had a little meat on my bones. I’ve lost weight, and I’ve gained it back and then some. And here I am at age 31 and I think I’m at my heaviest.

My goal is not to become a size 6. While I do want to lose a significant amount of weight, ultimately I just want to incorporate better eating and exercise habits without having to give up my love of cooking.

However, this brings me to the title of this post. During the chat, one of the things Cathy kept saying is, “So THAT happened” in response to her eating bad one day and then picking herself up the next day and starting again.

This is true though, and is something that can be extended across all aspects of our lives. I make mistakes all the time. I know I’m going to eat that ice cream, or have that third glass of wine at dinner. But I can’t punish myself for it. I have to get up the next morning, accept my past mistakes, and move on. It’s a new day.

And that’s what this post is. I’m going to accept that I ate the fried chicken today and that hot dog yesterday and I’m going to say you know, tomorrow is a new day. Yeah, so THAT happened. And today, I’m going to start fresh. Every day will be a new start going forward.

So there’s that.

That’s not the only thing I’m working on in 2012. I think I’m going to attempt a 365 photo a day project. Yup, that’s right. I said it. In fact, I documented it right here. I’m going to take and post a photo a day.

Lord help me.

That on top of MMEW and my videos, I worry… am I taking on too much? I don’t know, but I feel like I do need to challenge myself. Push myself a little more this year, this time for something I enjoy doing, which is telling my story.

Below I’m going to leave you with a video you’ve probably seen a million times, but I’m going to share it anyway. For me, it represents what love should be like, two people smiling at each other and making beautiful, harmonious music together.

lol Hope you all had an awesome Christmas like mine and Izzie’s

Hello, Austin!, originally uploaded by krisalis903.

My road trip, although brief, was a lot of fun. The drive time gave me a few hours to reflect, listen to music I haven’t heard in a while, and catch up on my podcasts. My confidence in driving has improved a little more which is one of the most valuable takeaways from this whole trip.

I spent the weekend with my friends Jeff and Lauren and their two cats Nox and Ella. They live in the ground floor of what they like to call a “treehouse” duplex. It practically is a treehouse with a large tree of some sort growing out of their deck and into part of their apartment. Their landlord, who lives right above them, used to design interiors of ships and is very eco-conscious. In fact, he designed their 800 square foot apartment with smart, compact design in mind. It really was very cute.

Saturday night was Lauren’s faculty Christmas party so I had the evening to myself. I ended up spending it playing Sid Meier’s Pirates! on the XBox Then they came home and we hung out for a little bit before bedtime.

That night I didn’t sleep very well despite my being tired. It may have been a combination of sleeping in an unfamiliar place, hearing unfamiliar sounds (or no sounds at all), and just general restlessness from the long drive.

Sunday, Lauren and I walked to the Once Over coffee shop down the street and Izzo’s taco stand while Jeff went to work out. Their neighborhood is really interesting. Taco stands galore and unique landmarks I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And of course, as luck would have it, somewhere between the coffee shop and home, I discovered my debit card had disappeared. I last used it at the coffee shop and I’m pretty sure I must’ve set it down somewhere.

Luckily I caught it early enough and was able to report it. Unfortunately because it was Sunday, I wouldn’t be able to get a temporary card until the following morning.

So that afternoon, I helped Lauren bake cookies, an apple pie, and prepare a delicious soup Toscana for dinner later that night with friends.

It’s no surprise that Lauren and Jeff attract such nice people. We had a pleasant dinner and played Apples to Apples and Bananagrams.

The second night I slept much better, but I still woke up before dawn. Lauren was up pretty early so she could get ready for work and have breakfast. We chatted a little as I tidied up my bed and before she left, I was able to give her a hug and thank her for letting me stay with them. I wished I could’ve stayed longer, but I was missing Izzie something fierce.

After a quick shower, I loaded up my car, said goodbye to Jeff, and headed out. After a short detour to pick up a new card from my bank’s local branch, I looked up Archiver’s on Google Maps and drove 30 minutes out to Cedar Park, which is northwest of downtown Austin where I was staying.

If you’re not familiar with Archiver’s it’s like scrapbook mecca. They have everything you could ever want AND a spacious scrapbook studio where you can come and work on projects. I arrived there just as they were opening and was so amazed at the aisles and aisles of scrapbook stuff! I was thoroughly prepared to spend an hour or so browsing the store. I ended up purchasing way too much stuff. However, the sales associate and I got to talking and she mentioned they were supposed to be opening a location in Dallas soon. I am crossing my fingers

The trip back home was a lot more interesting. Lots of rain and scary clouds. I really wanted to stop by the Czech Stop in West, TX but with the impending severe thunderstorms, I didn’t want to take a chance getting caught in it. I ended up back in Dallas in record time and just before the worst of the worst storms came through.

The trip did open my eyes. I’ve been purposefully keeping myself in a comfort zone the last couple years by not traveling. Not only that, I see how Jeff and Lauren are with each other–how committed they are to the other’s happiness–and I realize that’s what I’ve been missing. I hope someday to find that.

My first road trip to Austin is this coming weekend and I have to admit I’m downright scared. Why?

In October of 2008, I was in a car accident that flipped my car over. Physically all I had to show for it were a few cuts and bruises, but mentally, the scars ran deep. So deep, I was terrified of driving for weeks, months even. It took me over a year to finally drive that route to my parents house again (the accident occurred while I was driving to their house for our regular weekly family dinner). Short distance driving was ok, but the first trip I had to make to my parents house petrified me to a point where I actually cried in front of my coworkers. It was probably the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to me.

Since then I’ve gotten better. Even driving to my parents house isn’t as scary as it used to be. However, I haven’t left the Dallas area since then, which is out of the ordinary for me because I used to drive to Houston every couple weeks. I stopped long distance driving after my accident.

Fast forward to 3 years later, my friend moved to Austin and has been asking me to come visit her (when I was ready) and now I kinda feel like I am. But the closer the date gets, the more nervous I become.

After the breakup, I found myself faced with two excruciatingly painful tasks: telling my family and officially changing my Facebook status to single.

I will be the first to admit, the instant I see that little heart symbol in my news feed, I have to look at who it is, and speculate. It is a ridiculous, modern anthropological ritual, but I can’t help but partake in it. The last few weeks I’ve attempted to change my relationship status several times. I would go so far as to clicking on that drop down box and selecting “single” but I could never bring myself to click save, often backing out at the last minute. Changing that box meant something. It announced to the world, “I used to be in a relationship, but I’m single now. So feel free to judge.” And in a way it also kept me from going back on my word, and I wasn’t quite sure yet if I was committed to being single.

I talked to my mom tonight. I wanted to chat with her about some other stuff, but at the end of the call, I decided to tell her that Jabari and I broke up. “Oh,” she said, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said.

“Well, if you are ok with it, then we are ok with it,” she said. “You’re 31 right? Daddy and I didn’t get married until I was 33.” That actually was a bit of a comfort. “You still have some time to have fun. You should travel!”

I smiled. “I’ve always wanted to,” I said, “Maybe I should figure out how to do that.”

“You know Daddy and I were thinking about going on an Alaskan cruise,” she said. “Maybe you should come with us!”

I laughed, “I don’t know how many cool points I’d get for going on a cruise with my parents.”

She laughed and said, “That’s true, you’re too old to go on a trip with your parents,” she paused. “Well, maybe if you brought a girl friend along, it would be the 4 of us. That might be fun.”

I nodded. “Yeah that does make it a little better,” I said. “I’ll have to look into it.”

After I got off the phone, I posted a status update about how my mom invited me on a cruise with her and my dad now that I was single. And then suddenly that’s when I got the courage.

I changed my status to “single.” And then I hit save.

There. Done.

I braced myself. I got a couple comments–inquisitive, but overall encouraging. I did get one text message from my cousin. And that’s been all so far.

So why did I decide to change my status? I was currently not even listed with a status, so why bother? It was mostly symbolic for me. I didn’t want to hide behind the ambiguity of a non-existent relationship status. I’m single. There’s nothing wrong with that. And admitting such also implies that I’m letting go of my past.

However, it also means that I’m looking for my future. I’m in search of someone I could officially change my relationship status for forever, and he would do that for me. Because he would be proud to tell the world he’s in a relationship with me, and I the same with him.

This template was a little complicated at first, but when I made it a second time, it was much easier. Definitely watch the video, at least for the easel part.

Download Files:

Template 1 (Frame)

Template 2 (Easel)