Have you heard this popular saying before, When life hands you lemons, just make lemonade? I did a very scientific search last night… on google of course, and typed in this phrase. I found pages upon pages of blogs, sermons, and stories of how we turn our lemons of life into lemonade with smiling faces and peppy spirits.

But what if I pose to you a thought, sometimes we don’t need to make lemonade with our lemons.

Why?

Because making lemonade from our lemons is actually putting us in the driver seat of our lives, turning us into our redeemer. When WE turn our lemons- (pain, suffering, brokenness, hardships) into a beautiful glass of cool lemonade that is easier to swallow, we become our own god. This way of living becomes about us and not about Jesus. It is inward focused on what we have done, based on what we have accomplished as so to diminish the reality of the suffering in our lives. We minimize ours and other’s pain when we are always quickly looking for the lemonade to make us feel better about our suffering. We are a people who are overly fixated on results and transformation (and I am so guilty of this in my life) that we often link healing and victory to results we see with our eyes. Therefore we work real hard to make sure there is a glass of lemonade being offered so as to think we are showing others our results of healing. Because who really wants to sit holding lemons for the rest of their life for others to pass judgement on their suffering?

Making lemonade become all about us-and our glory. But guess what, Jesus doesn’t need us to do anything- It is not up to us. Jesus can get the glory in the pit of suffering and in the healing. He doesn’t need our pretty little “I made it stories” for him to look good. God is to be worshipped whether results we see come or not.  We don’t have to worry about rescuing ourselves–it is not up to us to redeem our pain, hardships, suffering, therefore, we don’t need to run around making delicious lemonade. And in that there is freedom.

God can be found in the lemons of life, not just the lemonade  As Tullian writes in Glorious Ruin, “a false theology of Glory sees God at work in the victories of life rather than the defeats….in tragedy the theologian of glory will look for some measure of improvement on which to hang her hope, and if not, she attempts to be the agent of the improvement herself.” Turning lemonade out of our lemons often loses sight of our true hope in Jesus and the cross. Whether there is a transformation into delicious lemonade that comes of your situation, or nothing at all–the lemons, the sour things of life are all about Jesus. It is not about the story of the lemonade we can squeeze from our lemons because we already have victory in Jesus through the cross. We don’t have to, in our own ways try to find some meaning to our suffering by the means of making lemonade. No, our meaning and victory already lies in Jesus. Nothing else. Just Jesus. And our busy little bodies sometimes have a hard time accepting the simplicity of the full-weight of Gospel.

Sometimes we don’t need to make lemonade. We just need to love Jesus right where we are at– holding our sour lemons in our hands with our eyes fixed on the cross. Because He is our great redeemer.

This month I have spent some time laying out and designing brand new AMAZING  leather albums to showcase  and offer to my Bride and Groom’s. As much as I value and love sharing digital images with my couples I still find huge value in my couples having a tangible product in a wedding album to showcase their wedding story. For me, I  am coming up on my 8 year wedding anniversary and after too many moves to count sadly, I couldn’t tell you what box my CD of wedding images hides in. Thankfully I have a leather album that has safely made every move and is ALWAYS  front and center in my living room as a tangible product that holds my wedding day memories. There have been many moments where I sit on my couch and pick my album up just to glance through my favorite memories. I am incredibly thankful I wasn’t just relying on my disk of images to hold those moments forever and that I can hold these memories in my hands.

I am excited to finally be using and offering beautiful KISS Wedding Albums. These leather albums use only 100% natural leathers selected for their grains, texture, strength, and quality. I will be offering 4×4 parent albums, 8×8 and 10×10 albums. And what I am even more ecstatic about is in a few weeks you will be able to order my personal favorite, stunning Tiffany-colored wedding album! This week my beautiful gray leathered albums arrived and I couldn’t have been more pleased! The images and quality are top-notch and I am proud to be offering such high quality leather albums for my Bride and Grooms!

Happy wedding season! ~Katie

Tiffany album image via Kiss Albums                                                                                                                                                                            

Katie Campbell is a Portland, Oregon wedding photographer

Around my house my husband kept referencing this podcast series by Tullian Tchividjian and his name alone sparked my interest. Finally after a full week of hearing his name I decided to give in and load the podcast to my itunes. Within the first 3 series I was sucked into his every word that I ran to the local bookstore and picked up his book, Glorious Ruin-how suffering sets you free. Tullian is Billy Graham’s grandson and also a pastor in Florida where his sermon series on the book of Job was turned into the book, Glorious Ruin. Within the first few chapters I was forever changed and by the end I was wrecked- my soul flipped upside down. I sit here today still mulling over his words that began breaking down the lies I’ve been fed and digesting this simple, yet hard truth- suffering setting us free. I am sure you will see more of my processing come out through my blogs in the coming weeks but here are some brief  thoughts.

Tullian walks through unpacking the glory theology vs. the cross theology which sadly many, including I have been caught up in the glory theology that is leading us down the wrong path and away from the power of the Gospel in our lives. Tullian is all about Jesus and is constantly pointing the truth back to the cross, where suffering was ordained.  He reminds us over and over– the Gospel is not a means to an end-it’s the end in itself. He constantly weaves through and challenges our love for law, identifying our idols and our modern beliefs in Karama.

I wish I could write the 500 quotes I wrote down in my journal that I am processing but then I would ruin the book for you so I highly recommend you grab a copy And I think a second reading is in order for me to really digest and soak in the truths. If you think this book isn’t for you because you don’t relate to suffering, sin, and brokenness, I contend to you, you do need to read it. Because one question I jotted down and was mulling over while reading this book was,

Pain, brokenness, sin is a part of this life-it’s a result of this broken world. So why do we, especially as believers, work sooooo hard at creating an exterior that only displays the good-looking, victorious, pain free aspects of our lives? We work so hard that we actually believe the lie we created. This is slavery. These lies of false strength enslave our lives because we are upholding a fake exterior that can never exist. There is freedom when we come to accept our brokenness, pain, sin and live from the outflow of our weakness because in fact it is the common thread that actually brings us together.  I think that’s why Paul talks about boasting in our suffering-because that is truly living free. “..My power is made perfect in weakness.” That is freedom, allowing Christ’s power to work in and through our messy lives.

>>Though we may know this is in our heads we aren’t very good at living this out–I would love to hear your thoughts today… Why do you think you and I work so hard to hide our weakness, pain, sin?

If you’d like to grab the book it is on sale at Amazon for $7.20–that’s a deal! 

And if you would like to listen to the podcast on Itunes it’s called Job: the gospel of suffering by Tullian Tchividjian

Sunday evening I sat scripting out my week on my new notepad, listing all the things I planned to accomplish to feel great about myself I felt energized from the early morning hours in church that had obviously equipped me for a high-achieving, amazing week. But in fact I had it all wrong, one call the following morning spiraled my week in a different direction leaving the days following unscripted and messy. In my selfish mentality I had come to believe all God had poured into me was actually just all for me to do great things for myself. In his graciousness he was actually equipping me to have the energy to battle and defend the least of these this week.

Here I sit in my kitchen glancing over at my pretty little list that has only has one line crossed off it,  knowing in a few short hours I am out the door for another day of battling while my list sits untouched. This morning I would rather sit at the feet of my King filling my heart with eternal truths then run out and fill my barren fridge with groceries. I think we are actually more like Jesus when we throw the list up in the air for the week let him have rule over our time as we simply cry out,  Here I am Lord, Send me. The fridge can wait to be filled, my dresser drawers can wait to have pretty pressed clothes, my floors can shine a little coffee ground dust today because some weeks there is a battle we are called to war in that can’t wait till I have free time.

Quietly He leads me by still waters, He leads me back to the truth, this isn’t my story, my life, my desires. This is his story and I am given the privilege to partake in God’s story right here, right now if I am willing to let go of the strong grip of my time. I don’t want to miss out on the great adventure he has because I find a trivial list easier to give my time to than people.

Friday morning I purchased my items and walked out the sliding door with a smile painted across my face because I felt I just won the lottery. Only my lottery came in the form of saving money not receiving money. I decided it was time to come clean and share my thrifty secret with you. Maybe you already know about it and I am just late to the game but for those who don’t know I decided to divulge my shopping secret to you.

Many of you know I am a Targetaholic and like to frequent their aisles several times a week but I have discovered a new way to get the Target brands I love for cheaper! Through the months my husband has been building his new business which has left us pinching our pennies in ways we didn’t know possible. I have always lived a frugal life and consider shopping at Nordstrom Rack a splurge in my book. But even my frugal ways had to be put to the test and the days of swearing I would never ever become a Goodwill shopper went out the door. Once I put aside my loathe for thrift stores I began to find little jewels hidden inside the Goodwill stores. I began finding BRAND NEW Target items with their tags still on them sitting all by their lonesome self in the disheveled aisles of Goodwill. The biggest surprise has been shoes- I’ve found amazing men and women shoes that still have tags on them and when I flip over to look at the soles I can tell they’ve never been worn. The white blinds in picture below are also a brand new Target find from Goodwill and on Friday I hit the jackpot. I had been eyeing this adorable gray ottoman at Target for months but didn’t have the funds to splurge so each time I visited Target I would purposely detour down the one furniture aisle to make sure they still had it in stock hoping one day I could buy it. On Friday while driving through a new street I discovered a Goodwill and so pulled in for a quick look only to discover my little ottoman from Target sitting across the room from me as I walked in- it was even the same color I had been drooling over. I practically ran through the store like a crazy woman to pick it up before anyone else could snatch because I just couldn’t believe it wasn’t taken yet.

After my sweet finds this week I decided to share with you– that if you have the patience and want to save some money you can find perfectly new Target items on the shelves of Goodwill.  I have found some other brand new name brand shoes and items as well but 90% of what I have purchased from Goodwill has been Target brands.

So there you have it- my secret shopping tip for you frugal, penny-pinching, savers of the world!

If you have any other money-saving shopping tips I would love to hear them!

Happy Frugal Shopping! Katie

I searched and prayed how to compose a beautiful Mother’s Day blog post and earlier this week was sure it would be a loving letter celebrating my amazing mom. But a burden was laid on my heart, one I’ve never spoken of and that is speak of forgotten. Those who this holiday is a source of deep pain and loneliness for many reasons.

A part of the journey the Lord has weaved into my life is being aware and living out Romans 12:15, Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. In the first part, rejoice with those rejoice–we as humans sure love to live out that verse and we find it pretty easy and almost fun to always be rejoicing with others. But this verse isn’t just made up of the first 5 words, the 5 words that follow often get neglected –weep with those who weep. I think we don’t mourn well with others because sitting in pain with others makes us feel really uncomfortable, what do we say? How do we act? And if I can’t fix it then I am of no help so I will move on. Let’s be real if we can’t fix it we flee from uncomfortable to comfortable situations real fast. Being uncomfortable makes us squirm inside our bodies and our palms all clammy, so unless we are intentional with our lives and asking the Spirit to guide us and help us be in those messy parts of pain with others we in our flesh will never be able to truly live out weep with those who weep. Because weeping with those who weep, can be so simple yet so uncomfortable. Just being present with a listening ear and offering your heart, life and time is sometimes really hard. Take a moment and think, do you naturally want to jump on in and share that hardship with your friends or family in the story they find themselves in?

Please know my heart, this blog post isn’t about drawing attention to myself– it’s actually about the many many others who sit silent and feel alone this weekend and my heart deeply aches for them. Most likely you don’t know who they are, why, because I used to be one of them, invisible and silent.  Deep in the closet I hid my silent struggle and story from everyone around me because everyday I saw with my own eyes the reality–people only want to celebrate with others joy, but very few who are bold enough to uncomfortably join others in their pit and cry. Who would naturally volunteer to walk over and slide down a muddy, messy pit to experience someone else’s pain and misery? And that’s the point–in our flesh we don’t…we run over to exciting festive parties hooting and hollering while deep in the dark pit, all alone, sits quietly and patiently those journeying through hard stuff. Don’t get me wrong, all of us, even those with hard stuff should be celebrating together but far too often those in the pit painstakingly hear the joyful parties overhead and are so weary from always rejoicing with others that they wonder will anyone ever come join their trek of their story. I know this story because one celebration after another I’ve seen people walk away in all their happiness and rejoicing, carrying on in their lives never looking back at those standing next to them covered in dirt, disheveled in pain, and tears lining their faces.

A friend recently sat with me, 4 weeks from delivering her 2nd miracle baby and in all her joy and exuberance offered up a pair of goggles. (reference video) Her intentional sacrifice and love to sit with me and hear my journey encouraged me because she offered an abundance of love. We celebrated her joys together and then we walked through the uglier side of life together. Her friendship has become a God written story that has blessed my life immensely. She shared this video with me when I first met her and as I was writing this blog post today and my words were forming I felt like Shauna articulated it so much better than my measly few words strung together. I long to see a beautiful story of the body of Christ, truly truly getting uncomfortable with one another, sharing in the joys and sorrows of life together and leaving no one alone. God loves each one of us, lets be a picture of his tangible love-being the hands and feet of Jesus, in the good times and the bad.

If you have 45 minutes today I ask you please take the time to hear this message today as it is such a great message for all of us.

Climbing–up and up–one foot in front of another–sometimes crawling on all fours–waiting patiently in perseverance for the climb to be over. Waiting to just finally reach the top of the mountain. There are silver lining moments when I think I see the end– I am stretching out in hopes that I’ve reached the climax of the story and can exhale a giant sigh of relief because the exhaustion would be over and rest would deliver relief for my achy muscles that are tired of climbing. If you’ve been to the gym you’ve seen Jacob’s ladder or the stairmaster  and that’s what this journey feels like, climbing the never-ending stairmaster. Sweat pouring down the sides of your face drenching your shirt you just keep trekking on with weariness breaking down the strength in your mind to just quit.  It’s in those moments of weariness that you pant and thirst for the delight of rest on top the mountain peak that overlooks the path of hardship. But when the climax of the story is still off in the distance He graciously breathes fresh life for those who hold tight to hope. He provides a new layer of strength you didn’t know you had. Your achy legs feel light as a feather again and you feel you have the strength to climb the daunting never-ending stairmaster one more round.

He gives power to the faint,

   and to him who has no might he increases strength.

Even youths shall faint and be weary,

   and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who hope for the Lord shall renew their strength;

   they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

   they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:29-31

Those who know me know I am a sun-lover and since that’s usually hard to find around Portland I usually escape to Hawaii for my Birthdays. This year, due to many life changes we had to forgo our annual Maui-Birthday trip but thankfully pieces of warmth and Maui were found in Oregon this weekend. The best present I got was clear blue skies & warm sunshine! Before the rest of Portland was awake Saturday morning we grabbed our decaf Starbucks & drove to Cannon Beach. We spent the day exploring beaches and enjoying the early “summer” weather  treat. We held hands and walked barefoot along the ocean shore-enjoyed our favorite Cannon Beach treat, Pizza a Feta and yummy Tillamook Strawberry ice cream. By the end of the day our skin was lobster red and my heart was full! Sunday morning we popped out of bed early and saw it was going to be another sunny day so decided we wanted to skip church and keep Birthday weekend going by exploring Portland. We hiked the paths of Forest Park, explored St. Johns, tried to teach Annie how to swim-though we failed, and enjoyed Starbucks while people watching in Jamison Square. 28 was celebrated just as I wanted – with my best friend and goldendoodle by my side all while playing under the sun.

Behind the Portland hills the bright light slowly rose, peering through the thin slot of my blinds and falling across my face. My eyes popped open & I hopped out of bed. Seizing the day, I grabbed my goldendoodle, threw on my tennis shoes and rushed out the door. I longed for a quiet morning of reflection as the sun rose high into the ocean blue skies. I wanted moments to seek the living God & hear what he has for my life.

Last year at this time I was in my Heaven, Maui. I clearly remember sitting on the white sandy beaches so distraught that I was in my happy place, yet I couldn’t feel the emotions of happiness. I couldn’t feel anything, I was numb. The fresh salty ocean air or warm sand between in my toes couldn’t penetrate my soul and bring happiness. Walls had barricaded my life and I felt like an empty shell. My heart and body were so beaten down from the battlefield of many failed infertility treatments and emotional rollercoasters that I sat on the ocean shores many a mornings crying. But I was convinced it would change. I was sure that my 27th year would only get better. I left Maui last year believing I was leaving the worst of my 26th year behind me and walking into my 27th year with anticipation of better days.

But the past year was like a sucker-punch to the gut, only to be filled with more twists and turns on this journey of life and I once again I lived in survival mode. I lived with the mentality–how can I just endure this day. Most mornings I woke up only to quickly want it to just be over. The 27th year of my life was once again dashed of all expectations.

But God, oh so faithful is never finished with me in this journey of life and I have found a fight in me I didn’t know I had. He’s been flushing out my futile thinking and transforming my heart, which includes bringing me a fork in the road. This wrestling in my heart has been stirring as I battle this idea of surviving and living. I have come to the point where I want to LIVE. I want to joyfully live again as he intends.

This morning I didn’t beg him to change my circumstance for my 28th Birthday–no, my hearts’ cry for my 28th Birthday is to live. Fully live in this life has he has for me. I am done being exhausted & functioning in survival mode. This is NOT the life God intended for me because I know he has a better story He’s writing. He doesn’t want me to endure the days, he has so much more for me–and the option to truly live isn’t based on whether my circumstances change or not. I have a savior who is never-ever-changing and graciously pours his unfailing love upon me and that is the truth where I build my life upon.

I want to sing a new song this year– I don’t want to stop living as I wait– I want to praise him with my life. Deep in my heart, I take a deep breath out and ask him to fill my heart afresh. I want more of the Holy Spirit…more of Jesus. I want to exhale the burdens of exhaustion and inhale the fresh air  of hope Jesus has for me. I want to live with perseverance–with true joy–I want my days to be filled with hope. I want to fully embrace this temporary life as a daughter of the King of Kings here on earth until he calls me heavenward.

28 is the year I live again. It’s been awhile and I am ready to let go and move forward. It’s time to shine my light again.

Philippians 12-14 I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

Dare to hope~Katie

With blustery winds howling outside I grabbed my blanket and curled in front of the fireplace with my books and journals strewn beside me. Words from one of my books floated up above the rest and grabbed my eye. As I read the words my heart was stirred. I grabbed my pen and began writing, her words inspired me.