That’s RIGHT I did, yo.

Okay seriously – “yo?” I swear, if there was a Nerd Jar on this internet blog website, I’d be BROKE AS A JOKE. <— see? help me.

The true fact deal is, I haven’t been able to get the pizza version of these out of my head. Wait, are these the taco version of the pizza or was that the pizza version of the tacos? AND LIFE UNFOLDETH IN ITS PERPLEXITIES ONCE AGAIN BEFORE OUR VERY EYES.

$5 in the Nerd Jar? Already?

So this is basically the same principle as before – you marinate chicken (thighs! boom.) in the yogurt/tandoori mixture overnight. And then you grill ‘em up and slice ‘em up. Simple as PIE. I mean tandoori chicken tacos.

And then you slice up some red onion and sloooooowly caramelize the bajuju out of them. If you don’t know what “bajuju” is, then I feel really sorry for you. And I am not putting any more money in the jar. For at least an hour.

Oh! One minor edit from the pizzas; instead of sliced mango, I picked up some jarred mango chutney. But say it like CHUT-A-NEY and have no friends ever.

Pile, layer, layer, pile, pile, dollop, garnish, dollop, dollop, pile, layer, pile, garnish and yes.

You KNOW you wanna get. in. that.

And P.S. Don’t worry. I’m not going to stay all vintagey on you forever. It must be the TIDAL WAVE OF MY BRITTLE SOUL.

Okay fine. $20 in the Nerd Jar.

What it took for 6 tacos:

* 1 pound chicken thighs, trimmed of any excess fat

* 3 Tbs. plain Greek yogurt

* 1 Tbs. (or more!) tandoori paste

* 2 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil, divided

* 1 large red onion, thinly sliced

* 1/2 cup shredded romaine lettuce

* 1/4 cup cilantro leaves

* 2 Tbs. sweet mango chutney (from a jar is what I used and it was wonderful)

* 6 whole wheat tortillas

In a medium bowl, combine the yogurt and tandoori paste. Stir together until smooth. Place the chicken thighs into the bowl and toss to coat with the marinade. Cover and stick in the fridge for at least 4 hours. Overnight is best!

Heat 1 Tbs. oil in a medium skillet over low. Add the sliced red onions and caramelize them until they are reduced, sweet, and candy like, about 40 minutes.

Heat the remaining oil on an indoor or outdoor grill. Grill the chicken until cooked through, with nice grill marks on both sides, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and cover to rest 5 minutes. Slice thinly.

Then you just assemble! Heat the tortillas on the grill, oven or microwave. Then lay the chicken slices in the center of each tortilla, followed by some caramelized onions, shredded romaine, fresh cilantro and a good dollop of the mango chutney.

This is life, you guys.

Make an Impact: Color Inspiration for Your Home

By Tara Hatazawa, interior designer and design consultant at California Closets Vancouver

As you’re looking out over the rich turquoise water while sitting on a beach in a tropical location somewhere, the sky starts to come alive. As the day draws to an end, the slowly sinking sun strikes the water, sunlight bounces off every ripple and wave, and the water is glowing in shades of yellow and orange.

Streams of pink and fuchsia flow outward from the sun and each little cloud starts to mimic the same tones. As the sun sinks lower, the sky starts to darken. Fuchsia fades to red and the blue sky starts to turn purple on the periphery. The sun then disappears completely as the red eventually fades to purple, opening up the sky for the stars.

A show of color like this can take your breath away. Now imagine the same scene in black and white. Not quite as special, is it? Color affects us. We live and thrive in color.

Color Your Experience
As I often say to my clients: “No one will ever go home and rave to their friends about white walls or beige carpet,” and that’s the truth. Choosing a color means choosing an impact. Investing in color adds a ‘wow’ factor. Here are some examples of how to create a colorful experience in your home:

Create a home office that makes a statement. The combination of Bellissima White and Roman Walnut finishes with Thatch Ecoresin panels makes it feel warm and inviting. Colorful accessories like glass vases and flower photographs add visual interest. The color in this space is strategically layered to catch our eye but still remain subtle.

And how about this closet?! Choosing to use color doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to choose a colored closet material. There are many ways to create the ‘wow’ factor and still use a white closet material. As you can see from this example, we chose a white finish for the closet but put a bright orange wall behind it to make it stand out. You also can get this look by using colorful or patterned wallpaper instead of paint.

Another great option is to choose a finish like Bellissima white and then add interest and contract by changing the color of the drawer fronts or the backing, creating a sense of style and visual interest because of the contrasting color and texture.

So, don’t ever let anyone tell you that you should “just go with white.” Get inspired and make each space in your home worth talking about!

For more storage ideas and color options, check out California Closets Kansas City.

Slurp. Crunch. Chew. Pow. Zing. Faint. Repeat.

That’s pretty much what we’re dealing with here, folks. A quadrafecta of bite by bite mouthal blowout.

I discovered soba noodles a lawng time ago, in an old Domino magazine. Which BY THE WAY, am I crazy or did I hear it’s coming back? Like, only online? Or just a special issue and that’s it? Or in the hopeful corner of my imagination where things occur like Ryan Gosling and Phillip Phillips cleaning my kitchen with no shirts on, or Wilson Phillips inviting me to be a guest host on their NEW SHOW and I get to wear a wig?

Soba noodles. Right.

I remember reading the word soba for the first time and mistaking it as soap noodles. Like, WHO EATS SOAP NOODLES. I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT EATING SOA- oh, soba. Well, what in the name of bull honky tonkeraroo is soba?

Let me tell you.

Soba noodles are thin Japanese noodles made out of buckwheat flour. And they’re deliciously nutty and wonderfully toothy and I’m going to make a wig out of them for my debut on the Wilson Phillips show. YOU WATCH ME.

Soba noodles are also rad because you can eat them hot, warm, room temp or cold. Or on your head.

I’d eat soba noodles straight from a dirty pig trough, but one of my favorite ways to slurp them into my life is this supah simp to the pimp toss with barely sauteed asparagus and snow peas, a quick dressing of soy, spicy sambal oelek and lime juice, and topped with seared scallops and scallions. And of course more lime juice.

Oh, and while I’m thinking about those little scallops: you know the frozen bags at the store of the little scallops and you’re like, “ewwww.” Well, I tried them! And they’re great! Huge diver scallops will forever rule of course, but when you’re in a pinch and don’t want to sell a kidney in order to purchase the good stuff, try these. I dug ‘em.

I’m telling you, this meal is SO fresh and takes NO time at all and there is SO much going on in the ways of flavor and texture and this sentence needs an exclamation point, dag nabbit!

Slurp. Crunch. Chew. Pow. Zing. Faint. Repeat.

My wig is coming together pretty nicely, you guys.

What it took for 2:

* 2 bundles soba noodles

* 1 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil

* 10 asparagus spears, ends trimmed and cut into 2-inch pieces

* 1 cup snow peas, sliced on the diagonal

* 1 Tbs. sambal oelek

* 2 Tbs. soy sauce

* 1 Tbs. toasted sesame oil

* 2 Tbs. fresh lime juice

* 1/2 tsp. brown sugar

* 1 cup frozen baby scallops, thawed

* 2 Tbs. sliced scallions, for garnish

In a medium bowl, whisk together the soy sauce, sambal oelek, sesame oil, lime juice and brown sugar.

Bring a pot of water to a boil. Add the soba noodles and cook until tender, about 5 minutes. Drain and rinse under warm water. Dump noodles into the bowl with the spicy dressing.

Heat the oil in a medium skillet over medium-high. Add the asparagus and snow peas and saute until crisp tender, 4 minutes. Remove from heat and toss into the bowl with the soba noodles.

Back in the skillet, add the scallops. Sear on one side for about 2 minutes. They’ll shrink up pretty fast, so instead of flipping them one by one, just toss the pan around for another minute until they’re browned all over. Season with a pinch of salt and pepper.

Serve soba noodles topped with scallops and scallions. Give the whole darn thing another good squeeze of lime juice. Eat it!

This weekend, we at KCH&G are proud to be a part of DIFFA’s Dining by Design at the Sheraton at Crown Center Exhibit Hall. Partnering with Picture Perfect Interiors and XS Lighting, we are sponsoring a table to help to raise money for AIDS research. If you’ve never been to this event before, let us give you a few examples of the creative scale.

Tickets are still available to the Friday night preview, 6-9 p.m., $45 online or $50 at the door and to Saturday’s gala, 7 p.m.-midnight, $175 each. You could also stop by the public viewing Saturday 9 a.m.-noon for $10. Don’t miss what this year’s designers have concocted — order here.

By Central States Tile

Some of us wonder how we EVER lived without our iPads, iPhones, computers, etc. But did you know that digital technology also can be helpful in the home-design market?

Digital inkjet printing has been changing the way we view and recognize porcelain tile. Many may feel as though they can easily distinguish between a natural stone and a man-made product, although, to the untrained eye, it may be more difficult than you imagine.

Digital imaging is the latest and greatest innovation in tile, creating precision tile visuals and image resolutions as high as 1,000 dpi. (That’s an extremely high-res image!) The ability to imitate wood grain, the feel of stone and the delicateness of linen makes it near impossible to tell the difference. Still, though, some may still wonder why they shouldn’t just buy the real thing.

Porcelain tile is one of the most durable wall and flooring materials on the market. With this new technology, customers can receive the “real” look without the hassle and maintenance while being available at multiple price points and suitable for all budgets.

Simply put, who doesn’t like the idea of no waxing, no sealing and no staining?! Those benefits are enough to make any consumer want to take another look at the porcelain alternative.

Can you tell the difference?

Yoooooou’re heeeere, there’s NOTHING I FEEEEAAAAR.

That was the sound of my face at the end of “Titanic” (in 3D!) last night as the lights came up in the theater and tears bucketed from my eye sockets and my husband leapt from his seat and ran out of the room as fast as he could.

Not even kidding. And in case you’re wondering, Leo D. circa 1997 in 3D? Just a ripe-a-licious as legally possible. Aaron totally agreed.

Oh, wait, I think his slobber trough was induced by Kate’s circa 1997 in 3D nakedness.

Speaking of slobber! Paprika shrimp. Paprika shrimp with a hint of crushed red pepper. Creamy, garlicky tomato sauce. Egg noodles. 3D glasses. Toasted almonds. Fresh basil. Slobber Town, USA with the zip code M-O-U-T-H.

I wish I made sense, even just a little bit.

This was one of those, “ohhh, what should I make to eat? I have no idea but I really need to clean out the pantry, and I guess this goes with that and that with this and I can’t wait to get my hairs did tomorrow night” dinners. But I love those kinds of meals. The ones that sort of create themselves and end up being so fabulous you go cross-eyed.

The ones you can really SINK your teeth into.

Get it?!

Seriously, why do I do this to you?

Leo and Kate want you to eat this. MAKE IT COUNT, YOU GUYS. NEVER LET GO.

What it took for 2:

*18 large frozen shrimp, thawed, peeled and deveined

* 1 Tbs. smoked paprika

* 1 pinch crushed red pepper

* 2 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil, divided

* 2 cloves garlic, minced

* 1 (14.5 oz.) can diced tomatoes

* 1/4 cup cream or milk

* 5 basil leaves, 2 thinly sliced

* 2 cups egg noodles

* 1/3 cup sliced almonds, toasted

* coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

Toss the shrimp with the paprika, crushed red pepper and a pinch of salt and pepper.

Blitz the can of tomatoes in a small food processor until smooth.

Heat 1 tsp. of the oil in a small saucepan. Add the minced garlic and bloom 30 seconds, until fragrant. Add the tomato sauce and 3 basil leaves. Reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer 10 minutes. Add the cream, stir to combine and keep the heat on medium-low.

Heat the remaining tsp. of oil in a medium skillet. Add the shrimp in a single layer and sear on one side for 2 minutes. Flip and sear 45 more seconds.

In the meantime, boil your egg noodles until they reach al dente. Drain and transfer to the tomato cream sauce. Stir to combine.

Serve creamy noodles topped with shrimp and garnished with toasted almonds and torn basil. And freshly grated parmesan if you so desire. Which you should.

Eat!

I’ve been on a mission, y’allins. A mission with high heels on.

Just kidding. I’ve not worn high heels since I worked in a bank. Actually, I wore some cute bchunky half heels to brunch this weekend, but I guess that’s not rightly important right now. Let me start over.

I’ve been on a mission, y’allins. A mission for the quickest, most tantalizing, no guess work, stomach-massaging, mouth-seducing, esophagus-rocking tandoori pizza ever naan to man.

See what I did there?

Well, this is pretty much it, pigeons. There are only TWO ingredients in the marinade if you don’t count the chicken. If you do count the chicken, only three. BECAUSE I NEED TO EXPLAIN MATH TO YOU.

Do you love caramelized onions like a weirdo loves his slanket? Me, too. Me. Too.

And do slices of mango make you twirl and curtsy to an imaginary group of dashing fellows on horseback that you made up in your head but you might accidentally on purpose speak out loud as if they were there? No?

Oh.

I don’t either.

And does pillowy naan bread make you put the back of your hand against your forehead and beg for someone to fetch you one of those large bamboo fans and a face mister?

Yes.

It has arrived.

I would lick this spicy tandoori sauce straight off of Satan’s pinky fingernail.

And since it’s naan pizza, it’s totally portion-control friendly! So go ahead and eat 17 portions.

What it took for 2 pizzas:

* 2 chicken breasts, cut into a small dice

* 3 Tbs. plain Greek yogurt

* 2 tsp. (or more if you can handle the heat!) spicy tandoori paste

* 1 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil

* 1/2 red onion, thinly sliced

* 5 frozen mango chunks, thawed and thinly sliced

* 2 store-bought naan breads

* 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

* cilantro, for garnish

In a bowl, stir together the yogurt and tandoori paste. Add the chicken, cover and marinate it in the fridge for at least an hour.

Preheat oven to 400.

Heat the oil in a medium skillet over low. Add the onions and caramelize them until they become super soft and sweet, about 30 minutes. (If you’re in a hurry, you can always just saute the onions to your desired softness and sweetness.) Remove onions from the pan and set aside.

Add the chicken to the pan, marinade and all. Saute until chicken is cooked through and the sauce reduces a tad, 6 minutes. Remove from heat.

Layer the chicken over each naan bread. Top with caramelized onions, sliced mango and top with shredded cheese.

Slide into the oven and bake 10 to 12 minutes, until the cheese has melted and is browned and bubbly.

Garnish with cilantro, slice and serve it up, baby!

Tour hours are 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Saturday and 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Sunday. Tickets are $10 each, and a portion of the proceeds will benefit The Children’s Place. Purchase at any tour home or by calling 913.362.8833. For home locations, visit remodelingkc.com.

Here are just a few examples of what you’ll see.

7923 W. 99th St. by ALH Home Renovations

650 W. 50th St. by Deatherage Home Designs

1305 W. 50th St. by KS Services, Orion Design

6001 Sunrise Drive by Rhino Builders

8115 Roe Ave. by Schloegel Design Remodel

8419 Meadow Lane by Scovell-Wolfe & Assoc.

Grab your friends and ticket (which you can purchase at these locations), and head to this year’s Symphony Designers’ Showhouse! Located at 47 W. 53rd St. in KCMO (one block east of Wornall), this home has been made over by 30-plus designers who have been working around the clock to bring you some top-notch design spaces. Read about the history of the home here.

Tour the home April 21-May 20. Tickets are $13 in advance, $15 at the door. This year there’s handicap access to the lower level, where the cafe and boutique are located. For more info, visit www.showhouse.org.

Now, here’s a sneak peek at some of the rooms you’ll see on tour:

The Little Porch That Could by Pamela Crocker Ely Design and Laird Brooke Design

Master suite porch by Interior Directions

Break/card room by Katy Sullivan Designs

Bedroom for a Princess by StickSisters Art, Furnishings & Accents