Keeping the Pounds Off!

Do you have the Weight Whammy?

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 02:43:00 +0000

It happened to me year after year. I couldn't understand it. Now I see it happening to many people in cyberspace and in my personal life. Finally, I think I understand it. I am not a doctor or in any way an expert in nutrition so remember that when you read this because this is only what I think, based on my personal experiences and sharing in the experiences of others. I am sharing this in the hope it will help someone else.

I've named this condition. I call it the Weight Whammy. Yes, I name conditions. It is one of my many God-given talents along with baton twirling, cake decorating and knowing how to frustrate my daughters at any given moment.

This is how the perfect storm called the Weight Whammy was created in your body (and the way it was created in my body year after year before I finally caught on.

December found us enjoying many of our favorite foods and desserts. The holidays were evident in our homes, at the office and everywhere you went. Food everywhere was enticing. Special foods. Celebratory foods. Comfort foods - whatever. We knew we were starting a fresh new lifestyle in January so we indulged and did not wallow in guilt or limit ourselves to just one every single time we ate. Okay, that is the fact of what happened. There is no beating yourself up over what cannot be changed.

January starts out fine. We're are freshly committed to whatever mode of weight loss we are following: food plan, exercise, weight loss guru, commercial diet programs, etc. We do not wavier at all in our attempts to keep to our commitments and pounds are falling off; dropping at a quick rate. Wow this is great We feel less bloated and more committed. It is a great start to what we know it going to be a successful year of getting the weight off.

Three weeks in, IT happens: weight loss slows down to a trickle or stops abruptly. We think 'Why do I refrain from cookies with my tea or pizza for dinner if I am not going to lose 5 pounds for my sacrifice?' We start to resent the plan we're following.. Will the scale be different next week? We stick with it another week, maybe two. Oh crap, I only lost a half a pound this week. It's not working. It's not working. . . . . its not worth it. . . . .

DON'T STOP! If you are not re-gaining then it is working. You have to understand what is happening in your body, in my opinion and based on my own, repeated experiences.

During the month of December (and maybe all the way back to Halloween), you ate more of what you wanted. More sugar? More white flour? More carbs? More fat? Whatever - it was more. Your body, perhaps use to the diet mentality you followed last year, saw the extra calories as manna from heaven and stored away as much as it could. This in turn caused you to retain water, water, glycogen, and whatever the hell else our bodies store along with the fat that it creates from our excess calories. Because your body was not accustomed to the types/quantities of food it was suddenly enjoying, it overreacted (with fear of future famine) to hold on to it.

Then January came and you began your commitment to losing weight and you stuck with it. Some people lose 12+ pounds the first week and more than five pounds the next. This is not all fat; in fact most of it is water, glycogen, and lean muscle (because muscle is always lost when we first restrict our food). For every pound of real weight loss we lose up to three pounds in non-fat fluids. But then there is a halt.

Once the body has depleted the bloat from the holidays and its stores of glycogen the weight loss naturally slows down - and people start to lose faith in efforts. They totally forgot the damage and stress they added to their bodies with that onslaught of food during the week or weeks before January 1st. This seems to happen to everyone who has that final 'fling' with food before they change their way of eating. It seems to happen with most 'diets.' It is happening everywhere you look on blogs and around the water cooler at work.

Don't lose faith. Lose your expectations. The weight loss will continue if you stay committed and continue to progress. Let's chuck the 'I have to lose 50 pounds by tomorrow' thinking and practice thinking 'I'll keep moving and keep following a healthy daily plan of eating.'

After the body adjusts to what it sees as the unexpected closing of the buffet, it will return to the process to letting go of excess fat as you eat healthy and exercise moderately. The pounds will come off if you stick it out through this weight loss drought. Lets drop the faith in the fork and hold on to faith in our efforts, in the higher power that sustains us (you decide what that is) and in yourself.

Jane~

Avalanche Survival and Weight Maintenance

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 11:46:00 +0000

I was watching a news report on avalanche survival. Correction: There was a news report on avalanche survival on TV, playing in the background while I was busy doing three other things. I live in Florida, don't ski, do not climb mountains and won't get too close to the walk-in freezer. I have about as much chance of being caught in an avalanche as I do of waking up tomorrow: age twenty-one, blond and thin. I didn't think I needed to pay attention to that report.

That evening I was ~~playing couch potato~~ relaxing with a book and my mind started replaying key actions for surviving an avalanche. I suddenly realized not all avalanches involve mountains and snow. Sudden events can happen in life any day, any place. Severe illness (physical or mental), unemployment, assault, unexpected death of a loved one or a 'perfect storm' of life's many complications all happening at once, can duplicate the same conditions of being in an avalanche.

The powerful wall of snow hits. We find it hard to breathe. There is a crushing weight pressing painfully against our body. We feel cold, so cold; unable to find warmth, we shiver. We feel we cannot move - the effort only increases the weight against us. We feel isolated, perhaps unable to get others to hear our screams because we cannot get the air in our lungs to scream. We are cut off from the world and the world my not even know where we are.

Avalanches don't just happen in snow. They can happen answering the phone, crossing a street, answering a knock on the door, eating a meal. The keys to surviving an avalanche in our lives are no different than the things that will help us survive a wall of snow on a melting mountain.

Put your hands in front of your face to create a breathing space. Establishing a good airway is always the first thing in securing a rescue. In no-snow terms I translate this to mean not getting so entangled in what is engulfing me that I forget life's basic necessities. I still must breathe, eat, void, sleep. Breathing space is not overeating space. It is not suddenly okay for me to eat crap just to get through whatever is hitting me. I think this can be the hardest key to remember once the avalanche hits but it is the first and most important thing I need to do to survive because it is not enough to just barely make it - I want to emerge whole.

Attempt to move out of the way of the force but do not try to outrun it because you can't. I might be able to sidestep some of the stress rushing at me by seeking medical help, financial guidance, family support or spiritual counseling. If I simply try to outrun it, it will swallow me whole while I am swallowing a whole pizza. I have to take whatever steps are necessary to get me as far out of harm's way as possible. When escaping the onslaught I cannot hide in the refrigerator.

Wear an emergency beacon or make sure someone knows where you are. I could be knocked out, covered by tons of snow. Emergency beacons work by activating if you are covered in snow. It has an alarm with a GPS locator. In the everyday living of keeping the pounds off, I talk to several people regularly by phone, in person and on line. If I cannot be reached - they find me. They are my emergency beacons. They know if they have not heard from me for too long it could be a matter of life and death and they will not let me die. They will be my St Bernard and I will be theirs.

I am safe and secure today but if an avalanche hits me in the future, I have some comfort in knowing there are keys to avalanche survival that will help me to survive. What keys do you have in place if an avalanche slams through your door?

Jane~

Hate Loss Challenge Week 4 - Final Week

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 05:30:00 +0000

In this, the final week of the Hate-Loss Challenge, we were given two options: Pay it Forward or Put Yourself First.

Pay it Forward – For the past 5+ years I have tried to make this a daily activity in my life of keeping the pounds off. It is by helping others that I keep my own equilibrium and a bright perspective for the future. When I am isolated (forced or by my own design) I feel my balance and good cheer recede equal to my length of isolation. But just reaching out to one person with a cheerful word or a giving action gives me back so much. I often tell people whom I mentor that if they are feeling badly toward themselves or the world it is time to get out of themselves and do something for the world around them. It never fails to bring back their hope and esteem.

The exercise for this task is to Show a stranger a random act of kindness and then write about it. Hmm, this is a bit of a sticky wicket. I practice a tradition that I was shared with me many years ago. “Just for today I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anyone knows of it, it will not count.”

I am not going to talk about what I did today but I am going to share that my self-esteem can be down in the toilet but when I do a random act of kindness such as help someone down the stairs, lift a package, make a call to a shut-in, pick up a newspaper and drop it closer to a neighbor’s front door, buy someone a cup of coffee while at a hospital cafeteria and write a letter to a former neighbor or teacher and thank them for something I remember from that past that they have probably forgotten. One year I kept updating a Thankful list and every week of Lent I wrote letters thanking someone I had never met for various things such as how their talent inspired me, how their invention helped someone I know and how their service to our country is appreciated. I can feel better anytime I want for just the cost of a stamp.

Ellen’s suggested quote of the week for Option 1:

No kindness, however small, is ever wasted

~ Aesop

Option two – Put yourself first – At first, this option seems selfish and easy to do. As Ellen says in this option ‘we convince ourselves that we’re unworthy. It is imperative that you take care of yourself and your own needs, not only for your emotional health but for your physical health as well.’

Okay, I want to be well, whole, healthy. I’m game. I just need to get over the feeling that I am being indulgent with myself. Why? Because there is such a thing as being too indulgent. I want to be good to myself for the good of my physical, emotional and spiritual well-being but not o overboard. In other words: I want to get something good out of this, not just feel happy that I got a facial (facial is just an example). I do not want the post-blues feelings that can go with it, ie: I shouldn’t have spent the money, my face is breaking out, I could have done something else. . . .

Yes, I may be over thinking this a bit (or a lot) but I know myself and I do want a pleasant ending to this challenge without feeling I am just doing something I do for myself anyway. I get the occasional pedicure when I want to feel good. I read for pleasure and relaxation at will. I don’t do bubbles. I do not have to leave my house for a massage. I have my own table and my husband has very capable hands.

So – something that I wouldn’t normally consider, that I can do now and answer the questions in time for Thursday – hmm. Enter the Muppets.

I decided to order myself something fun and unnecessary (but without breaking my bank). I went on-line and bought myself three bottles of glittery nail poish from OPIs Muppet Line. My daughters and I used the OPI Muppet colors for our Christmas pedicures. Now, instead of hoping the nail salon will have the colors I want when I get there, I have my own bottles for them to apply to my toes. The colors I purchased are Fresh Frog of Bel-air, Divine Swine and Gone Gonzo. How did I feel afterwards? I felt confident and supremely happy that I was taking care of creating a future happy moment by getting the nail colors I wanted today. I do not tend to buy my own nail colors. This is a new idea for me. Normally I hope that the color I want will be in the next time I am there. This will be a nice change.

Ellen's suggested Quote of the week for Option 2:

Be the change you want to see in the world.
~Ghandi

Daily affirmations update:I have decided to keep saying the affirmations for the whole month of February. When I memorize them and have them in my head, in my heart, and in my actions, I will know I can stop.

Thank you for reading along on this challenge. If you were a part of it I thank you for your sharing and experience each week. If you have simply been reading along I thank you for your time and ask that you come back and read some more and perhaps comment.

To Ellen, who planned this challenge with a peacock logo (which is what drew me in) I thank you for your support, wisdom and humor throughout this four week challenge. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with all of us.

Hugs to everyone, Hope you will all be back soon

Jane~

How Many Birthday Celebrations Does One Person Get - in 1 Year??

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 05:01:00 +0000

Can you believe it - I am allergic
to Ivory soap!

No calories were consumed in the
writing of this post.

Warning ~

I'm up on the soapbox again.

When I was growing up you had one (count 'um) ONE birthday celebration a year. Maybe you had a party. Maybe you got a special dinner with all our favorite foods made by mom. Maybe you went out to a fancy place for dinner. Or maybe you got to go out with a few friends and celebrate with pizza and cake and bowling. You did not get to do everything for one birthday. There was no "this is my birthday week ."

What follows in the next paragraph is the word by word description of a birthday week (Okay, sarcastic and cynical comments were added by me) of an eleven year old girl.

I had a party with pizza, cake and a sleepover on Friday at my house with my three best friends. A party with my school friends at the mall with lunch and cake (Cake #2). On Saturday. A movie with my girl scout friends Saturday night (did I mention the cake?) Family over for dinner and a cake (4th freaking cake) my mom makes on Sunday, cupcakes (counts as cake) in school on Monday and cupcakes (still cake) at bible school on Wednesday. Then my parents took me out to Disney on my real birthday on Thursday and I made my own Mickey Mouse sundae and got a cupcake at the Chef Mickey buffet and at the Hoop Dee Do at dinner (that is eight birthday cake moments in one week).

Hey, I believe if you have the money, you can spend it on your kids anyway you want and it is no one's business to tell you otherwise ~~although we all talk about you and your money with resentment and envy when you leave the room~~. TV Programs that showcase $25,000 Sweet Sixteen parties are not short of parties to film. I say spend whatever you want. If you are willing to spend that kind of money on a sweet sixteen party and don't need it to pay your taxes or health care - go for it. I am not judging the money others spend. I am leading to a food issue.

I think I was this cat in another life

We are currently raising the first generation of children with shorter life expectancies than their parents. This has everything to do with overeating. The massive abundance of sugar, fat, salt and processed foods we have readily available to us all the time is one culprit but we parents are not helping the situation with expanding on times for celebratory 'it's okay to eat it because it's my party' food. We only add to the problem.

A cute and already copious child (with a chunky dad, a chubby mom and a chubette set of siblings) should not be encouraged to feast at celebration after celebration filled with cakes, candy and ice cream for seven days. There are children who eat the rose off a cake and touch nothing else sweet. Some kids will eat only the icing, some will eat only the cake and some only the ice cream on the side. Then there are the kids who will eat the icing, cake, ice cream and go back for seconds (or eat what is leftover after the party if mom and dad don't eat it first). If you know this about your child the best gift you can give them is not put them in that situation over and over again.

I don't suggest restricting children by putting them on a diets. I am not a doctor or a licensed nutritionist. Children have special needs for their properly growing bodies to be healthy. I don't suggest you take away their birthday cake - just the seven cakes that follow it that week. Please do not hand them a loaded food gun day after day under the guise of it's okay because it's their birthday week. While celebrating their birth, wouldn't it be better not to be hastening their demise?

Jane~

National Pie Day???

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:39:00 +0000

With respect to the loved ones in my family for whom pie is the first choice for dessert and with respect to those who lovingly bake pies so delicious you know their talent comes straight from God, I ask you:

Is it worth celebrating 'our national Heritage of pies'.

It seems the National Pie Council has declared that January 23rd is National Pie Day. Their website states:

"this day is a perfect opportunity to pass on the love and enjoyment of pie eating and pie making to future generations. The American Pie Council® is encouraging pie lovers across the nation to throw a pie party in celebration of National Pie Day. Hosting a pie baking - and pie tasting - party for friends or coworkers"

I like a good pie. I don't have anything against the pie council. I can enjoy pie without sugar or a wheat crust and it is adaptable to all kinds of ingredients. Pie can be good food. It can also be a slices of artery clogging, blood pressure raising, blood sugar boiling, yummy goodness for many, many people. Hey, maybe Paula Deen can decorate a pie with the diabetes medication she is ~~shilling, hawking,~~ being a paid spokesperson to promote.

So what is next? If the National Pie Council can bring awareness of pies to America through a national day of celebration, perhaps, in an effort to bring awareness to other things, we should be having

National Arterial Stent Day sponsored by Plavix?
Amputation Awareness Day sponsored by Humulin Insulin?
The Morton Salt Don't Stroke Out Day"

What is worth awareness? What is worth passing on to future generations? Should we encourage our nation of groaning waistlines to eat more pie and pass that on? Or should we pass on it?

In keeping the pounds off I choose my celebrations carefully. I am going to pass on this one.

Jane~

CasHEW ON THIS

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 19:23:00 +0000

What do you think?

Part One:

Last night we had Chinese food. I asked my husband to bring home brown rice, snow peas with beef and cashew chicken for the three of us to share. I normally do not get cashew chicken because sometimes cashews are a 'gateway drug' for me - I want more. The place was a madhouse and traffic was nuts and he got home a little after 7:30 PM. The restaurant had forgotten to put the cashew chicken in the bag. I immediately thought "okay, I am not meant to eat cashew chicken tonight. There is still enough food for everyone because Larry got an egg roll for him and our daughter.

Then we checked the receipt. While everything else on it was written in Chinese, the words cashew chicken were written plain as day in English. I tried to call the restaurant three times to arrange a credit but it seems that number is incorrect. That annoyed me. I like to get what I paid for. So, we got in the car and returned for the cashew chicken. Now I am thinking "Why is the $$ for this one item annoying me? - but that is a problem for me to talk about with my mentor. The restaurant realized they had made the mistake after Larry originally left but did not have a number to call us. As soon as we walked in they were ready for with a take out container of cashew chicken. Now, I am back to looking forward to having it.

Part Two:

We go back home and while I am eating broccoli in garlic sauce, our daughter makes up her plate, including a serving of the cashew chicken. When I get to the container to take a portion, I notice that there are no cashews left. It seems all the cashews were on the top portion of the container only. This meant chicken and veggies for me and no cashews last night.

I was NOT supposed to have cashews yesterday. I got the message in part one but chose to ignore it when I was diverted by the money issue. I really got (accepted) the message in part two.

In keeping the pounds off I ~~sometimes~~ often need to be tapped on the head ~~over and over again~~ twice before I get a message. Luckily those taps are not administered with a two by four.

Jane~

Wanted: HELP

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 17:17:00 +0000

WANTED:

HELP! Creative founder of event company well known for spreading pixie dust these past 14+ years, (that's me), seeks experienced, patient, reputable and kind WEBSITE DESIGNER/BUILDER who would be willing help make over my wheezing, archaic, battered business site and bring it into this century. My funds are low but I am very willing to barter for your services in exchange for our highly praised event services and/or room decorating for you and your family. Not going to Disney but interested? I will be happy to donate services to special guests of your choice, including pixie shadowing for families who need that extra help around the parks due to illnesses and special needs.

Go to www.giftsofalifetime.com and email me from there.

You are saying "What the Fudge does this have to do with keeping the pounds off? She has gone off her freak'n rocker!

Well, my rocker is debatable but this DOES have to do with keeping the pounds off. I am currently in the Hate Loss Challenge on Ellen's http://www.fatgirlwearingthin.com/ site. This week's challenge is to get outside my comfort zone. My comfort zone keeps me doing what I am doing, even if it is not the best choice, because I am comfortable. I have been nursing along this website which has been sadly in need of new technology and design for over 10 years. It is PAST time to get it done and I have been uncomfortable asking for help outside of those I know intimately. It is time to shake the trees and ASK FOR HELP.

Asking for help takes me out of my comfort zone. If I am willing to do it for this than I can also be willing to do it when I need help with food issues, exercise issues, health issues and even emotional and spiritual issues. Asking for help is not weak and it is not pathetic. It is the feeling of being vulnerable that makes it hard to do. Today I need to embrace the concept that feeling vulnerable is not a negative thing.

If I do not spread my wings I cannot fly. It is time to soar.

Please feel free to pass along this want ad or link to anyone who might be interested and has the qualifications to build a site from the ground up and can then teach me what I need to know to do the daily updates as needed.

Isn't it time for you to soar? What can you ask for help with today?

Jane~

Hate Loss Challenge Week Three

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 04:08:00 +0000

Here are some highlights of what was given to us for this week's Hate Loss Challenge. Bless Ellen of fatgirlwearingthen.com for her talent of getting us to soar and then making us think that we are the ones who invented flight. It is wonderful to be challenged by someone who is so nurturing.

Fear is such a driving force. It can paralyze you. How many times have you regretted not doing something because of your fear?

When we don’t challenge ourselves, we end up creating unconscious habits that end up running our lives; they chip away at our self-esteem. But, once we’ve stepped beyond our comfort zone, our world will never return to it’s original size – we will always be more than who we were before with one less fear to hold us hostage.

According to Dr. Robert Sherfield, author of the book Everything Self-Esteem: Healthy self-esteem is built on overcoming obstacles and moving beyond what is accepted or ordinary. It is built on overcoming your fears, insecurities, worries, and your own self-imposed limitations. In other words, we need to move beyond our world where everything feels safe, secure and comfortable; by motivating ourselves to step beyond what is snug and cozy, we get so much in return:

Accomplishment

Pride

Achievement

Power

This week’s exercise: Between now and group therapy on Thursday, think about an activity that would challenge your comfort zone; then, confront that fear and do it. This is your challenge, so be as daring or as conservative as you want – but stretch yourself beyond what you think you can do.

At first, second and third glance, I thought this week's exercise was going going to need more time than allotted. Then, when I sat down to really delve in, I realized it was basically what I did last year on my Counting Down to Fifty Blog. I spent the 365 days between during 49 and 50 challenging myself to do 100 'goals.' Many of those goals were simply exercises in stepping out of my comfort zone. They included

riding a bike for the first time in 32 years
swimming naked in the ocean
joining Toastmasters and
public speaking
cut my hair ultra short
ride in a balloon
spend a day in a water park by myself, and walk around in my bathing suit, loose skin exposed
spend a day by myself in a theme park, talking to strangers
appeared in a magazine

For various reasons (some financial, some apathy and some fear), I did not complete all 100 goals. I finished about 80%. I gave myself some extra time to complete the goals still worth doing. (and I need to go back and give that blog a final update in the next two weeks so I can take it down).

I realized I could take something from the list of incomplete goals and use that for this week's challenge. I looked through the list and I found a couple that remain undone because they are outside my comfort zone. On day 365 I wrote that I decided against goal # 67 as too daunting. Ah, there is something I can wrap my arms around as outside my comfort zone.

Goal 67 is Update my www.giftsofalifetime.com website so that my business can have a fresh new look and attract more clients from their first visit.

I manage the upkeep of my business website with a wing and a prayer and have for 15 years. It is time to get out of that uncomfortable/comfort zone. One person built the web pages in 1998. Another person re-did them in 2001 and a very kind gentleman made it healthier about 4 years ago. I have been limping along on my own since. The program I use to maintain it is 10 years old (Dreamweaver 4) and the company that supported the product no longer does. I can make text changes but I do not know how to do anything else. I do not speak html or anything else cyber. I have remained locked in time and unwilling to stretch myself enough to be uncomfortable and accept help in giving it a fresh, uncluttered look.

FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR

My fear: That the people who offer to help me do not understand how to make the very important questionnaire page continue to function in a new format. All my clients come through that questionnaire and it is the heart of how I develop their events. I need someone who understands PC, MAC and UNIX enough to make this work AND who can explain the new formatting enough to me that I can do my weekly changes without needing an advanced degree in computer science. Oh, and I do not have the money to hire a professional or buy hundreds of dollars in website writing programs.

I am not crazy enough to think I have the patience or desire to learn how to build my own website. I have to ask for help. That exposure is where the fear comes into play - asking for help and being open to the possibility of rejection and possible failure. Today I start. As of now I will be chatting with everyone from Internet friends to friends of acquaintances on Facebook and I will bring myself to ask for help and be open to the possibilities.

Quotes than Ellen gave us this week:

Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone.
~ Robert Allen

We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.
~ Max DePree

Nobody ever died of discomfort, yet living in the name of comfort has killed more ideas, more opportunities, more actions, and more growth than everything else combined.
~ T. Harv Eker

An Amazing Feat For My Feet

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 06:46:00 +0000

St John is part of the US Virgin Islands and about a 20 minute ferry ride from the Island of St Thomas. Most of the island is protected land, part of the US National Parks system. The cruise ships dock in St Thomas and you can either take a high-priced cruise line-sponsored excursion to St John or you can be adventurous and make your own excursion. This is my 4th trip to the US Virgin Islands in 10 years and my first time there without wearing an extra 200 pounds. At my heavier weight most activities were beyond the physical capabilities of a woman with legs the size of tree trunks.

I have the flattest feet on earth from
weighing 350+ lbs for two decades.

On two previous trips, with Disney cruise line, we traveled by a private ferry over to Honeymoon beach and jumped off the ferry (I rolled off) to swim to the beach and then took an inflatable float with an outboard motor back to the ferry. Dragging my 350+ pounds back up the ladder on the ferry was embarrassing and painful. Putting 350+ pounds of weight on a portion of one bare foot on boat ladder and then trying to lift the rest of your bulk up the next step is excruciating. That is how I learned to wear swim shoes so my feet had some protection.

On the third trip (a Princess cruise), our excursion took us by double catamaran to St John and then a scary extended taxi shuttle over the mountains to Trunk Bay Beach. This was a wonderful, clean, secluded and fairly empty beach with the most exquisite clean sand and clear azure blue waters. Scary in that these 'taxis' were pick up trucks with extended sides on their beds that seat 24 people (and should NOT seat 24 people). I won't tell you how close to the edge of the cliff the operator drove us (on roads without safety barriers) but it is the reason my husband and I did not take a Princess excursion on this trip. We did not want to knowingly risk death-by-island taxi a second time.

Ahhhhhhhh

THIS trip we decided to get to the beach of our choosing at the time we wanted to be there and without a death-defying road trip. We knew where we needed to go and when to be there. We got up early so we could have breakfast and be off the ship as soon as we could disembark, at 7:30 AM. We left the Grand Princess with our sunscreen, beach towels, sunglasses, cameras, and bathing suits under our cover ups. We also had two refillable water bottles with filters and two cans of diet ginger ale. My husband wore his thick soled sneakers and I wore my thin little swim shoes. We took an open taxi with another couple to the other side of St Thomas to get to the ferry. Sadly, we missed the 8 AM ferry and had to wait for the 9 AM. At twenty two minutes after nine we arrived on St John and walked the couple of blocks to the National Parks Office for directions to the walking route to Honeymoon Beach.

The hiking path to where we wanted to go was only a little over a mile long. Easy, right? A lovely, octogenarian, national park information lady told us where the path began and said we should have no problem with the hike. Hahaha. She either never took the hike herself or thinks everyone wears hiking boots to the beach. Oh, and there are no bathrooms, no showers, no shops, no bars and no huts selling fruit or drinks in the national park and beach.

What's a few rocks when there are
beaches to behold?

The hike is one mile up a steep path and down a steep ravine (as in cliff) to reach the beach. The beach cannot be reached by bike, car, or even boat, as boats are not permitted to drop people off there. If you want to go to this beach you have to hike. So we hiked. The path started with a double set of stairs into the mountain side and then from that point on we were on rocks. Not smooth, purposely laid rocks. These were sharp, from-gravel-to-boulder sized jagged stones, all happenstance and loose. If I had been wearing sneakers like my husband - no problem. If I had been fifty pounds heavier I would have gone home. Instead, I trudged the path with hubby holding my hand over the drops and rockier points while I tried to balance on the flatter edges of stones in an attempt to not cause too much pain to my feet.

Beach perfection

I thank God for every pound I have lost. With the weight on me, my feet could never have taken the beating. Climbing down the side of the cliff to get through the underbrush and reach the beach - it could never have happened with even an extra 25 pounds on my sorry knees and ankles. The path was not long but it is for those in shape enough to climb and balance their weight through the trees and down the mountainside. I was annoyed that I did not research this enough to know to wear thick soles but I kept my mumbling and cursing to a minimum because I really wanted to do this. I wanted to save the water so I drank my diet soda before we reached the cut in the cliff wear we could start climbing down the ravine.

Once we got down the cliff it was just another twenty yards to the beach. Then is was all worth it.

The beach: serene and beautiful. Sand fine, smooth, soft on the feet. The weather was a perfect 78 degrees and at just 10 AM the sun was not yet blistering for my pale skin. The water was so clear and so amazingly, fantastically blue. Perhaps six other people had braved the hike that morning before we arrived and only one person came after us. A total of nine people on the whole beach.

We hung our towels, camera and cover ups from a tree and went swimming. We swam for about an hour, taking video with the waterproof video camera our daughter bought my husband for Christmas. At about 11:30 we got out of the water and dried off with towels so we could begin the trek back up the ravine, down the rocky mountain trail and back to the ferry in time for the noon crossing. I always try and get out of the sun by noon, especially at beaches. Even this idyllic location could not convince me to stay in the sun an extra hour. While I have not managed to eat sugar mindfully, I enjoy my beaches mindfully. I get my fill in a short, lovely time. Then I move on to something else and do not look for more of a good thing.

The trip back seemed a little easier, perhaps because I knew what I was in for. By the time we reached the stairs we had only five minutes to make the noon ferry - and we made it. I even ran the equivalent of two blocks to get to the ferry on time. We were the last people to board.

That afternoon my husband gave me a lovely food massage. Yes, keeping the pounds off is all worth it.

I enjoy the island of St John. It has my favorite beaches of any place I have ever visited to date. I have never been to Hawaii or Tahiti so I believe someday St John's may come in second or third but until that time I will continue to love St John Island and when I return I will thank the lovely, octogenarian, national park information lady for not dissuading me from hiking in my swim shoes. It was great not to miss another piece of my life because of my weight.

For every ten pounds you lose, you take fifty pounds of pressure off your knees. Even if you are only keeping 10 pounds off so far, you should see a difference. What has keeping the pounds off done for your mobility lately?

Jane~

Love Caught on Film on the Grand Princess

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:13:00 +0000

Today's post was going to be away our hike up a mountain and down a cliff to a private beach but ~~I spent too much time already this morning uploading photos, reading other blogs and thinking up semi witty comments to posts~~ I have to work today and do not have time to write it right now. But, since I did get to upload this photo I do want to share with you my new, favorite photo of my husband and I, taken last week on the cruise. We have been married 28 years and if I do say so myself, I think we are an adorable couple.

This next photo is the appetizer I had for dinner that evening. It is lamb carpaccio. I think this is a safe food photo for most people, unless you like to binge on aged, raw lamb. If that is your food of choice, avert your eyes now.

This course was followed by filet mignon. No photo taken. I was too busy enjoying a perfectly cooked piece of beef. Keeping the pounds off does not mean I cannot have steak but it does mean I ordered it cooked without the chef basting in butter or oil. (you should always specify no basting for your steak if you want to save on fat and calories. I also skipped the baked potato (and butter and sour cream) and asked for my asparagus with lemon, not butter.

I am off to work now but promise to write about the hiking adventure tomorrow.

Jane~

What I Brought Back from my Cruise

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 13:29:00 +0000

This crawled on to the picnic table
during lunch on a Caribbean Island.

No, I did not bring back an iguana or a parasite or amoebic dysentery. It is not jewelry, shells, hair braids or island souvenirs. It is a five lousy pounds.

If I had weighed myself on the ship I could have declared the pounds at customs and asked them to be confiscated by the nice officer who let our luggage go through without incident. But I did not know about them then. I did not get on the scale in the ship's spa. I do not get on unknown scales. I trust the one I have at home and that ~~lying, two-faced bastard of a scale is obviously in a pissy mood and decided to take it out on me~~ reported that I am up five pounds.

They also had loungers for two

I understand the pounds. I was on the ship seven days and worked out twice, one of which was a hike including climbing down a cliff and will be the subject of my next post. The remaining days I ~~reclined on my saggy ass~~ rested in the gated community section of the ship, called the Sanctuary. It is a place where you pay to keep other people away. No kids, no fellow passengers wandering by to check the area out. It is a reserved, quiet zone on board with deeply cushioned loungers, artfully diffused sunlight, fake trees, unbelievably thick, luxurious towels, and men who spend their day spraying your face with Evian, getting you fresh fruit and cool drinks. It was a wonderful place for my husband to rest and read while I worked on my book or gazed at the ocean ~~in between watching episodes of Little Britain on my Ipod touch~~. But as each day passed and I did not put on my workout shoes for another day, I got lazier and lazier about working out. Nothing puts on pounds faster than a sudden drop in activity. Unless you consider salt -

Pineapple from someone else's cruise

The first few days the food was under seasoned and I found myself adding a little salt on day two. By day five the seasoning was adjusted in the kitchen because I did not need to add salt and I wished they would take some out. I am still using artificial sweetener and this ship had plenty of yellow packets on board. They even had a sugar free dessert every day. Too bad it was usually a creamy dessert. Not a good option for me. But they had daily fresh pineapple and I had my own dates. I could usually get some berries if I asked, but they are stingy with them.

Why I avoid wheat

On day four they served a lot of potatoes in various forms and many of the potatoes and all the grains were all in a creamy sauce. Not wanting to get into the sauces or potatoes but wanting my grains for the day, I had nutty grain breads at two meals and again on day six and even on the morning we disembarked. Wheat tends to bloat me (not to mention it gives me hot flashes at night). I am so grateful to be back to my home and eating my non-buttered grains and lightly seasoned vegetables again.

Not my bread basket

I know these pounds will drop off in a few days. This is false weight, caused when a body consumes carbs it does not normally have. Between salt and wheat and lounging around on loungers, I know where they came from. I know they fall away within 4 days. I can beat my head against the wall and cry foul or I can accept them and move on. I could not do that if I continued my lazy days of lounging without adjusting my food. Today I am back to my normal, gentle exercise and my usual grains and seasoning.

What matters is what I do today. We cannot change yesterday, We cannot let yesterday lock us into a bad today. If you had a lousy day with poor food choices yesterday or even this morning - do not let it take you into a pit of overeating for the rest of today. Don't kid yourself into thinking "I already blew this morning, I might as well eat what I want today and start over tomorrow. It is too easy to live that way and repeat that act over and over and over again. That behavior tends to repeat itself again and again. Do you want to be where you are today in a year? I know I want something better. Let go of the negative choices and choose to eat well just for today.

Jane~

Hate Loss Challenge Week Two

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 14:45:00 +0000

I am currently on a week long cruise and the Internet costs dearly here so I am just uploading my post and will visit/read everyone else’s on Saturday when I return. I hope everyone is well and continuing with the challenge this week. I miss connecting with so many of you.

Part 1 Have you ever related to any of these questions?

I’ll go to the beach when I lose another 15 pounds.

I relate to this question with change: I’ll go on the beach but I am not taking my pants and shirt off. That was me from 1992 until 2005. During that time sun did not touch most of my skin – period. That has all changed. I am not waiting to loose the last 20 pounds. I am not waiting for plastic surgery or liposuction. This last summer I swam in the ocean nude and it was one of the best mornings of my life.

I’m going to put off having family photos until I’m happier with the way I look.

Yeah, I did that – too often. When I did allow photos to be taken of me I often stole the prints from the person who took the photos or, if they were mine, I cut pieces of myself out of the photos so that I could bear to see myself in the picture. I routinely narrowed my neck, arms, hips, add, thighs and calves. My face was hard to alter so I tried to ignore it completely unless it ws a profile. Then I could at least take out some of the rolls under my chin.

I won’t be happy until I get to my goal weight.

That was me most of my life. Now I am happy today. If I never lost another pounds I would learn to accept it but never again is my weight on any given day, week or month going to define my love for myself or my happiness.

When I feel better about my body/self, I’ll have the courage to do all the things I’m too self-conscious to do right now.

Yes and for the most part that had been true. I started talking to more people and wearing more revealing clothing when I felt better about myself. But I also made love outdoors, started a business, and took on public speaking while still fat and very self-concious because even then I was working on having a healthier outlook about me. I know I do not have to wait for weight reasons.

Think about the answers to these esteem-deflating questions. How often do you carry these thought around with you on a daily basis?

My life would be so much better if I were only:

If only we had better financial security. I am always worried about our future in terms of retirement and debt but I do not act to do something better about it. I feel helpless at this stage. I feel I will never have what I need to scare off the poverty boogie man. Mind you, I do not need a mansion and a yacht or millions in the bank. My life would be so much better if our debts and mortgage were all paid, and if our income could exceed our outlaw each month. Then I would not always feel like the poor relation in friendships, family and while in activities with people who always seem to have more than enough.

I’d be so much happier if I had a better:

Retirement plan, savings account balance and a handle on my feelings and plans for the future.

I wish I weighed:

Less than I do now. That is it. I am not unreasonable when it comes to my weight anymore. I wish I could weigh less than I do today. While I have a lower number in mind it is not something I wish for. Each pound loss is part of the journey I need to trudge to be able to keep it off once and for all. I do not wish for me than that.

When I look in the mirror, the first thing I criticize about myself is my:

Hanging skin. You asked for one thing but usually there are three things: Hanging skin, thinning hair and ugly stomach and thighs.

The one negative word that I use about myself over and over again is:

Liar - I always feel I am a liar, even when I tell the truth. It is an uncomfortable feeling.

Now, answer these questions so that they can be seen by everyone reading your update:

I often receive the most compliments on my creativity.

What I admire most about myself when I look at my reflection is my skinny shoulders. I have sexy shoulders and I can look at them and not see the fat lady that burst out all those years ago and left marks on other parts of my body.

I take pride in my keeping off over 200 pounds for all this time despite being told by others I could not do it unless I did it their way.

I love the fact that I can participate in life’s activities now. Just yesterday I hiked in a National Park in the US Virgin Islands, on a trail that was incredibly rocky, steep and included absolutely no services along the way. This mildly treacherous trail was the only way to reach a particular, secluded beach. I only had on a thin pair of beach/swim shoes yet I managed to do the trail in both directions, climbing up and down rocky enbankments along the way. At 250, 300, 350+ pounds I could not have made the journey, not even with proper hiking boots.

My greatest quality is__. I do not like questions like this (I do poorly in interviews because of this one). I am sure it goes back to being called out as conceited if I said something good about myself as a child. Grrr. Okay, I am going to do it My greatest quality is. . . . . Well, what is a quality? I am currently at sea and do not have unlimited internet minutes to pause and look things up in cyber dictionaries so I will do my best. My greatest quality is my (sits and stares at the screen for five minutes, then finds herself dozing off. . . . ). Omg, where was I, quality, my greatest quality . . . I have always felt my greatest quality is being able to find and share the humor in any situation. I have found a way to laugh and make other people laugh at death beds, funerals, deep confessions and most any somber occasion. This is not to say I cannot be somber when it is warranted. But there is a time for serious and there is a time for love and laughter and they often all overlap. I think this is my greatest quality.

Study your answers for as long as you feel comfortable. Now, take a mini-vacation from your current self. Set a timer if you have to. Spend at least 10 minutes going about your life believing that you are perfect exactly as you are right at this moment. Forget about your job. Forget about your husband. Forget about your wife; your children. Allow thoughts of your relationships, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear and the unfinished items on your ‘to-do’ list temporarily slip from your mind. Just for now, be present; be aware in these few moments of what it feels like to be the ‘perfect’ you that you keep longing for.

If you find negative and/or unpleasant thoughts drifting into your mind during this time, acknowledge the thoughts but allow them to pass by like clouds in the sky and then focus on the answers to the above questions. Continue on with your exercise until your time is up. Notice how it felt in those moments, knowing that you were enough; also notice the control you had over these thoughts.

Were you able to do the exercise for the given amount of time? If not, were you able to redirect your thoughts back to the present? I was able to focus and redirect my thoughts back to a positive place when my mind wandered. It is not easy but it is a good feeling.

Did it feel any different knowing that you weren’t relying on outside sources to challenge your beliefs – that you trusted yourself to be content with the things you knew to be true about yourself? The problem is I know truths about myself that are not positive. I hide things from others and I need to work through them, too, or this will be an exercise in spinning my wheels inside of losing the hate from myself.

Finally, discuss how things are coming along with the Positive Reinforcement Sheet. You will be almost half-way through the Challenge by Thursday. Where are you still struggling? Where are you succeeding? I am not struggling with the positive reinforcement sheet. I brought it on the cruise. I have it on a shelf in my cabin’s bathroom, I have it in my travel bag that I take with me everywhere. I read it a few times a day. I find some of the positive words easier than others but I am learning to accept more of them each week.

The quote in this week's which begins “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. “ – I received that quote on a framed print three years ago and on the print it was attributed to Nelson Mandela, not Marianne Williamson. Can anyone enlighten me on which is correct?

Hugs to you all

Jane~

This will be a GOOD Silence

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:42:00 +0000

Not my television set

For the next seven quiet days I will be cruising the eastern Caribbean with my husband. I will be spending the next 168 hours (which coincidentally is also my weight), in a floating bastion of addiction, named the Grand Princess. Cruise ships, by their business plan, make their profit in the promotion of overeating, drinking, gambling, smoking and most importantly: sex! "C'mon, (she said with a flirty flip of her hair and a demure batting of eyes) this IS the cruise line that gave us the Love Boat back in the 1970's-80's." If you ever watched The Love Boat you know what even D-list losers who cannot string enough words together to form a complete sentence will find love (and sex) on a cruise ship.

Not my cruise ship

I have been on cruises while overeating and cruises while food sober. I enjoy the food sober cruises more. I have a more time having fun with non-edible activities than I did overeating at cruise buffets and free 24 hour room service. It took me more than a few cruises to admit that no one needs to eat a Mexican fiesta buffet at midnight, ever.

Currently when I cruise, I bring my water bottle with the built in filter, my own dessert (dates and walnuts) and a hot cocoa mix made at home without milk fat or sugar. When it is time for a cool night outside watching Movies Under the Stars on the deck, I can sip a hot cocoa and ignore the popcorn and Irish coffees. I do not seek to loose weight on a cruise but I know from experience, I do not have to gain. I can expect to wear the same properly fitting clothing off the ship that I wear today embarking on our adventure.

Not my . . . what is that???

I look forward to catching up with you all when I get back. The Internet can be expensive on the cruise ships so I will be severely limiting my time on-line to simply stalking what are my daughters up to and news headlines in which politicians who think they can run the country are caught in sordid messes proving they cannot even run their own lives. Any party's candidates will do. When it comes to political implosions, I am bipartisan.

Good luck keeping the pounds off this week!

Jane~

View Your Life With Kindsight

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 13:43:00 +0000

Saw this today on a the Weighward Woman blog and she got it from www.notsalmon.com . I HAD to share it here with all of you because I really, really love this message. I hope you all have a great day. I am off to return to notsalmon.com now and buy some books.

First Week: Hate Loss Challenge.

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 20:35:00 +0000

"Eliminate insecurities that are weighing you down and give yourself the love and respect you deserve." - Ellen

These words, from the Introduction to the Hate-Loss Challenge on Ellen’s blog, FatGirlWearingThin are quite attractive. I think it is the only blog challenge I have ever joined. I am not comfortable with the weight loss challenges – too much enabling ~~for my iron-fisted controlling personality~~. However this challenge has nothing to do with pounds that get weighed on a physical scale. This is about the weight of the metaphysical. Besides, it has the added bonus of a lovely peacock logo that I get to post on my blog! I love peacocks in their colorful glory. (Yes, NBC was my favorite network as a kid because of their peacock).

It started with a reinforcement sheet. Mine reads

Jane is/I am

Strong, courageous, beautiful, persistent, creative, considerate, thoughtful, unique, remarkable, open-minded, intelligent, confident, fascinating, pleasing and worth it.

The idea is to put it in places I will see it all day long and be reminded to use the words and feel the words apply to me. It is to remind me that “January is the month that I set in motion a healthy habit to rid my vocabulary of words that aim to destroy my self-esteem." By complete coincidence, I was on the treadmill yesterday watching a season six Colombo Episode that was all about (well, besides murder), taking charge of your life with words and how powerful words are - how they control us, if we let them.

This first exercise was to think back to a time or place in your life when you formed negative thoughts about yourself. Why do you think you are undeserving of praise? Was there a specific event that caused you to change the way you perceive yourself?

I know exactly how this happened in my life. Not that date or the time or even the exact geographical spot, but how. It was the day my father first told me I was something less than stellar. The first time he angrily called me stupid, lazy or useless and withheld his love over a behavioral issue. That is the day I started identifying with those labels. When my mom began to use the same terms toward me that really cemented the definitions in my life for a long time. Oh, and ANY positive trait, applied to me, by me, was to be considered vain, conceited and pompous. So, not only was I told my value was linked only to what others said, I was not to be permitted a chance to find my own value in myself.

As an adult, I joined a 12 step program and worked through these issues, doing the suggested steps. I learned to forgive and re-direct. I learned how to get past resentments, and fears, guilt and anger and most of the shame. The healing that came from living through the steps continues to be a saving grace in my life that I would not ever want to neglect. Yet I still find it hard to remove the resentments I have against myself so that I can let go of the perceived power of the negative labels.

Is it because you have always been reminded of your imperfections and weaknesses?

Not just reminded of them. I choose to believe them. Even when I KNEW I was better than what another person wanted me to be, I rarely spoke up for myself in a healthy manner.

Were you taught these habits from living in an unhealthy environment?

I was taught these habits while living in a family vacuum. My parents did their best. They did not learn any better in their lives. (I had ample opportunity to know my grandparents and 14 aunts, uncles and their spouses and then my cousins). There are various levels of family dysfunction in my family. That does not make me unique. Dysfunctional families have become an almost blasé term in the years since I turned 16 and learned what it meant. Now, you are unique if there is NO dysfunction in your family. It is a constant miracle in my life that I married a man who has never sought to drag me down or let me wallow in negative reflections. He has always sought to lift me up and let me see the beauty inside me that he claims to see everyday. How blessed am I??

How can I find a way to forgive those who have hurt me? How can I forgive myself?

Living a 12 step program, I have already forgiven those who hurt me over the years of my life to date. When or if an old resentment crops up I do an inventory of it and share it with another 12 step member or my spiritual advisor. Forgive myself? That is what I am working on in this challenge. I am starting with the positive reinforcement words.

Do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself?

Oh yes. This is something I started learning about myself just a few years ago and it has not improved. Hence, this challenge is perfect for me.

Use of the Positive reinforcement sheet:

I have it on the fridge, inside my spice cabinet. On my office computer screen, tapped to my laptop, on my bathroom mirror. On the back of the door to my garage (since I mostly exit the house that way) and in my clothes closet. It is also in my car and I have made three copies into laminated bookmarks and I am using them in three books I currently view each day. I started the challenge a couple of days late so I have only had 2 day of reading and hearing the positive statements and thinking about them. I liked writing it and determining what positive words I wanted to define me. I am happy to be letting go of the negative terms and words.

I hope everyone else in the challenge is getting many good things from this first week. I know I am already feeling a bit happier and looking forward to making it a habit.

Jane~

Does Eating Addictive Foods Interfere With Keeping the Pounds Off?

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 12:11:00 +0000

On Diane's fabulous, newly designed blog, Fit to the Finish, she wrote about the addictive nature of some foods. She wrote:

Disney's Figment of Imagination.

Chocolate. Diet drinks. Sugar. Caffeine.Cheese. Meat. Do these foods and others really hold us in their power, or is it all a figment of our imagination?

I have a great imagination but I do not tend to dream up nightmares. That is exactly what living with active food addiction is: a nightmare. Just yesterday, someone I know personally had a family member take her life rather than try to continue to live with rampant food addiction. Took. Her. Life. Figments of imagination do not kill. Out of respect for the family I will not give her name but I hope my friend knows that I mention her cousin here in the hope that just one person will be spared the pain of thinking they are alone with this illness.

Diane also wrote:

I didn’t eat chocolate for about two months when I first started losing weight that last time. The first couple of days were hard. Really hard. Not only was I trying to make healthier choices, but I also gave up a love of mine. I can’t say that I went through withdrawal from chocolate, but I certainly missed it a LOT! After the first week, it started to get better, and I didn’t think about it all the time. After a month it was pretty easy, and the second month was a cinch.

When I do not have the first bite of something, I am saved from the untold number of bites that will follow the first. With addictive food, it is easier not to have any than it is to try and portion it out. Oh, I may get away with it the first time and maybe the second a few days later but soon I will be deep in the shit. (Yes, I said shit. Fyi: that is the one word I dislike above all other words in the English language).

Diane also wrote:

As the months went by I realized that I had finally broken my affair with chocolate. I could enjoy it – yes, but I didn’t have to eat pound after pound of it.

It's the million calorie question

This topic really hit home for me because I know the helplessness of food addiction in my life. The difference between an addict and someone who just overindulges in chocolate is that someone who gives up alcohol, drugs or nicotine does not get to go back and have them two months later without finding themselves back in the throes of addiction pretty quick. Diane is pretty lucky that she has been thus far able to return to an addictive food that she use to overeat by a pound every day. I am sure she cannot be the only one who has had this experience. I think it is amazing but I also think it is a rare phenomenon. There are people who dove back in after YEARS without their addictive food. I cannot imagine an addict being cured of the addictive nature of their food substance at two months to the point that they never again overeat it.

I have tried to go back to my addictive foods over and over and over and over again. Each and every time I have had to once again remove them from my food plan or watch the scale creep, crawl and then spin upwards to obesity range. As an added evil bonus, the weight came back on quicker with each experiment in returning to those foods. I am not like Diane. I need to remember this and accept it or I will kill myself trying again and again to eat my danger foods.

I can have the lemon

I did not want to live like that anymore. Unlike the non-addict, there is no guarantee - none, that once I try experimenting with a food I have already identified as addictive to me, that I will ever again be physically, emotionally and spiritually willing to put it down and leave it down. In 1992 , I picked up a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup followed by ice cream and pizza during a personal crisis and I did not become willing to put my addictive foods down again for over 14 years. Even knowledge of this does not protect me from repeating the behavior. I am an addict. Self knowledge cannot trump the addict's behavior when the physical or emotional cravings for a food fix are ruling my behavior.

Let me be perfectly frank: I lost 220 pounds while still occasionally consuming flour, milkfat, sugar, chocolate, etc, etc, etc. I have maintained the weight loss with physical, emotional and spiritual clarity and real peace only by severely limiting first, milkfat, then finally: sugar. During the time I was still having sugar, I did not consume anything made with hfcs or any corn syrup. I only removed sugar from my daily plan in the past year. It was time. The addiction bell has been rung and you know it cannot be un-rung.

I know men and women who are maintaining 75, 100, 200++ pounds of weight loss for years and decades without gaining back their weight over the years, without surgery, without drugs. These are real people in my life who I can see and touch and hug. Most of them maintain their weight by staying free of sugar and flour. Those who still play a food game and tempt the tiger in her cage do so with great caution and they remain ever mindful of the food. I am tired of the Tiger getting her claws into me. I do not want to play that game anymore. It isn't a fun game. It is a matter of life and death.

Some people are addicts. Some are just eat too much. These are two different types of people. If you have experienced the helpless feeling of addiction you know what I am talking about. If you have not, you cannot know. It is one of those 'you had to be there' things.

Can you eat what you want without crossing over into that place where you cannot stop?

Jane~

1-12-385-168-20-366

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 15:30:00 +0000

Not my Powerball numbers

1-12-385-168-20-366
Not the winning lottery numbers.

Not the secret code to unlock the Mayan calendar.
These are just numbers that define my post today.

Today is the 1st day of
two thousand 12
My top weight was once 385 pounds
My weight is now 168 pounds
I want to lose 20 pounds
over the next 366 days.

Speaking of the Mayan calendar,
has anyone turned it over to see if,
instead of it ending in 2012,
it is continued on the other side?

Jane~

2012: Let's hope it's a good one without many tears

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 01:51:00 +0000

I wish everyone who has lost a piece of their lives through the passing of a loved one, a forced change of career, a traumatic event or if you just feel you have lost your way - a very warm and heartfelt embrace. Lets all make our way through this Season and New Year and begin, or continue, to heal - without hiding in a foodfest.

Jane~

No Resolutions Here

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 12:14:00 +0000

I do not make New Years Resolutions. I did. I made them every year. Year after year, I resolved that THIS was the year I would stop BLANK - Other people's lists might be to stop smoking, stop smoking pot, stop sleeping around, stop stop allowing aliens to take over their bodies. . . . Mine were always things like stop overeating, stop eating junk food, stop eating fast food, Stop eating a half gallon of ice cream at a time, stop gaining weight, stop eating after dinner, stop ordering take out every other day, stop procrastinating about losing weight. . . . . Mostly, I either gained or stayed the same despite those yearly resolutions.

Let's look at the root word of resolution:

re·solve /riˈzälv/
Verb: Settle or find a solution to (a problem, dispute, or contentious matter).
Noun: Firm determination to do something.

Synonyms:
verb. decide - settle - solve - determine - dissolve
noun. resolution - decision - determination - purpose

In the movie 1776, the congressmen "resolve." That is how they introduce their proposals to the congress for discussion and vote and very little work of value ever gets done. This isn't a political blog so let's just say, in a briefly touching on that august body, that congress 235 years later, still 'resolves' and consequentially is blogged down in resolutions with very little actually getting done.

Of course the real root word for resolution is not resolve. It is SOLVE.

solve /sälv/
Verb: Find an answer to, explanation for, or means of effectively dealing with (a problem or mystery).

Going with this definition, the purpose is to solve the issue. That is the goal. Synonyms of 'goal' are aim, purpose, target, object, objective, end, mark.

I like goals. It is kind of funny that the company I started fifteen years ago (and still run), GiftsofaLifetime.com forms the acronym GOAL. I think goals are more positive sounding than resolutions and I belief they are more focused on the solution and less on the problem. For instance, at 385 pounds, I already knew I needed to lose weight. I needed a goal for that year. My goal was to get under 300 pounds. I missed that goal by a few pounds but I did lose a significant amount of weight that year and I believe it was because I had a goal: a reasonable number to aim for and a plan to get there.

I was too busy in 2012. I got caught up in too many projects, service activities and activities that were supposed to help me reach my goals but instead helped me to spin my wheels because they divided my focus from the steps I was already taking. This year I am keeping it simple.

My goals for 2012

To finish the re-write of my book, which will be published in 2012. The goal is to have it finished by March. Setting priorities and working with my book coach I believe I can reach this goal and then set a new one for the next phase.
To relinquish a service position. Right now I have three offices in my home and one - the easiest one with the least demands, has tipped the balance enough to keep me too busy to focus on the things that are most worthwhile to me. It is time for me to give up that position in exchange for the peace of mind it will bring to the rest of my life. It is not an easy thing to do. I made a commitment to continue through this year, so the change will not happen until later in the year, but I will be rotating out of that position and not taking another for the time being. Just knowing I have a final date for that position is a great part in my peace of mind.
To lose the final pounds. I am 168 pounds and five months ago I determined that 148 would be my last stop on the scale because any extra pounds still on my body after 148 is healthy body or redundant skin. Twenty pounds and a whole year to do it. On December 1st I posted my goal of losing 12 pounds during the first six months of 2012. It is a reasonable amount, an achievable goal. It is not going to hound me or hurt me or in any way obsess me. It is what it is.

Three goals. They are my goals, they are exciting to me and they are achievable. None of them are going to change the earth. I am not dreading working on these goals. I am not worried they will become too much to bear. I am looking forward to a great new year, keeping the pounds off and learning to keep things simple one day of 2012 at a time.

Is there one goal you can start working on today?

Jane~

ACHOO! - Says Who?

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 08:00:00 +0000

I have a head cold. This is the first time I have been sick in months and months. I cannot even remember the last time I could say I really felt under-the-weather. I have been well so long it is kind of scary to think about how often I was sick back in my unhealthy eating years. Having a cold of some kind happened every 4 to sick weeks. In fact, I think that is normal for a lot of people who are not eating enough fresh and healthy foods. Whereas in keeping the pounds off I have been eating natural, whole foods with a wide array of fruits and vegetables and staying away from the common cold uncommonly well.

Yeah, yeah, you are healthy. Big whoop. What does this have to do with helping me today to keep MY pounds off.

Be patient, please. I am getting to that. So, as I wrote earlier, I have a head cold.

You said that already.

Please stop interrupting. Why are you so cranky today? Do you have a head cold, too?

Yeah, I do. My nose is constantly running, my throat is scratchy and my head aches. I just want to sit in front of the television and have my boyfriend bring home some of my favorite take out: stuffed shells and soft garlic bread and then heat up some hot fudge I can put over the egg nog ice cream to soothe my throat.

Wait a second, have you been sitting home nursing that cold all day? And not exercising for the last three days because of Christmas shopping, Christmas Eve visits and Christmas day merriment, and now you are sick AND you are going to eat that?

Well, I normally eat a lot healthier and I never have empty carbs or butter and I only have the ice cream for Christmas but with the cold I thought hot fudge would that the chill off the ice cream and keep everything still smooth going down . . . . and when I am sick I treat myself to help feel better.

Are you going to feel better if you feel bloated from the pasta and bread or when your joints get inflammed from the sugar and fat in the ice cream and fudge and the cherry cobbler . . . .

I didn't say anything about a cherry cobbler. . . .

Not here, but I read your blog, too. You wrote a week ago that the only thing you can't resist at Christmas is Nana's cherry cobbler and she always sends you home with the leftovers. Are you now saying you did not bring home the leftovers this year, even when you weren't feeling well?

Ummm . . .well . . . .

Look, I am not the food police. I eat the way I do from trial and error with my body over and over and over again. I share it here to remind myself what does NOT work and what DOES work. If you get anything out of it that is great. I am not telling you what you can or cannot eat. I only ask that you be honest with yourself and YOUR trials and errors and experiences. When you eat those stuffed shells and garlic bread you feel great when eating it, but you do feel great that night, afterwards?

No, not really.

Do you usually feel better in the morning after eating your comfort foods?

Well, sometimes the cold is better but I still feel sick in other ways.

Could it be the bloat of the empty carbs or the drop in blood sugar after you have that ice cream and stuff? If you could feel better faster by just continuing to eat your normal, healthy food plan, why wouldn't you just do that? It took me a lon time to know my reasons. They go back to childhood. From the time I was five and was told that I could have all the ice cream I wanted after my tonsillectomy, I have self-medicated with food. Medicating with comfort foods is a tough habit to break. When I am sick the last thing I seem to want is a fresh garden salad. I have to remind myself that a spoon full of sugar does NOT help the medicine go down this girl's gullet.

Or mine. Okay, I'll try this a different way. I'm going to stick to my original plan for dinner tonight, before I felt sick: fish, whole grain rice and two streamed vegetables. And no cherry cobbler. I had a serving at Christmas. I'll give the rest to my boy friend.

If you do something new, it stands to reason you will have a different outcome. I hope you'll feel better soon. Remember to keep taking in clear fluids, even if you do not feel like drinking as much. Our bodies do not recognize dehydrated very well. We often think we are hungry when in reality we are simply in need to fluids. But watch out for the empty calories of orange juice or apple juice.

Anything else to suggest?

Well, I'd love for you to write a comment on this post. It is always great to see feedback from my readers. Let me know how you are doing. Are you getting through the days without self medicating or are you in need of some outside support; either way, I am here to listen to your experience. Together we. . . .

I know, I know, together we get better. You say that all the time.

I mean it all the time. Talk to you again soon.

Jane~

First Commercial Sighting!

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 14:06:00 +0000

I never had a chance to write my final 'Twelve" theme post for Christmas Day. I will have to save it for another time.

Turned on Good Morning America and saw the first Post-Christmas-lose-weight-for-the-new-year-DIET-commercial. It featured Janet Jackson and it was for Nutri-System, one of the buy their food with their diet shakes and add-on meals and additives. get ready for the deluge, my friends. Over the next 5 weeks we are going to be bombarded with every diet system, club, for-profit weight loss program and supplement on the market as they all vie for your dreaming-of-weight-loss dollars.

And when they quiet down we will have ten months of constant and annoying political ads leading up to the presidential election. I may be unplugging commercial television for the year. . . . .

I hope you had a safe, happy, healthy wonderful Christmas. We are about to do the one sad thing we must do each Christmas - bring our daughter to the airport so she can return to her life in New York City. The week went way too quickly for us all!

Merry After Christmas everyone!

Jane~

Wishing You Merry

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 06:07:00 +0000

Did you know the English word "Merry" did not start out conveying a sense of mirth or joy? It meant a sense of blessed, peacefulness; deep down inner joy , not revelry. Example: the song God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen. Notice the comma after Merry. The word Merry is not used to describe Jolly Gentlemen, but rather to bless them "God rest ye peacefully, Gentlemen. Thus saying Merry Christmas is to give someone a blessing.

I wish you a Merry Christmas; a peaceful, blessed season of inner joy that feeds your soul in ways food never could and never will. Please be well and stay well.

Jane~

Planning For IT . . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 15:25:00 +0000

Not my restaurant

Does planning to overeat at one meal or one day play into a successful plan for long term weight loss? Some people can do that. They have done that. I believe them when they say that they do not have residual cravings and uncontrolled eating when that meal or day is over. I don't know how it works for them but it must be working because they are keeping their pounds off. I do note that while long-term maintainers who are moderate eaters who eat everything but only in moderation and never overeat or obsess over their food are rare birds, the ones who can plan to overeat one meal or plan to overeat one day and still remain on the right path the other 364 days/1000+ meals of the year are even rarer.

The rarest bird of all

I know it has not worked for me; does not work for me. I tried it for several years and I was miserable. Those experiences sucked but at least they brought me to where I accept the path I need to travel if I want to be free of that ~~damn stinking monster~~ food obsession and remain successful at keeping the pounds off. Last year is when I started a no-sugar lifestyle. It is not perfect. It is not easy and it is not something I would do if I had other workable options that honestly worked for me. I don't. Or, at least none that allow me to live free from yo-yo dieting, binges and a generally bitchy attitude. Living without the sugar has given me peace of mind. It gives me joy in things that do not lead to food. What this does give me is clothing that fits year round and year after year. Now I toss out clothes that are old and worn, not clothes that are tight and food stained. I do not have to lament a year where I gained weight or only lost few token pounds.

Some gifts are too great to be wrapped

If you have tried it before and it did not work for you, please consider the experience of NOT trying it again. What has really changed since the last time you tried? If this is your first time at the rodeo and you are taking the bull out for the first time, please be careful. Pay attention to those red flags and never take your eyes off the real gift: a happy, healthy body and a life worth more than the price of a holiday cookie.

Jane~

The Christmas Apocalypse

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 12:25:00 +0000

The final rush of the holiday build up is on. People are scrambling with shopping, cooking, parties. There are also a lot of hopes and expectations flying around. Glad tidings and good cheer can quickly turn to other things when hit with hopes unfulfilled and expectations unmet.

Watch out for the Eight Reindeer of the Christmas Apocalypse: Jealousy, Envy, Frustration, Fear, Resentment, Anger, Selfishness and Dishonest. They seek to drag down your holidays and pull you into a dangerous place where you will be overwhelmed and unable to see the insanity of poor food choices. Here is a short, personality study of each reindeer:

Jealousy - this one takes the form of making you distrust others and forget your own blessings
Envy - coveting what belongs to others (physically, emotionally or spiritually, is such a naughty reindeer it has a place in the 10 commandments
Frustration - when frustration comes in the door, serenity goes out the window. You need to take frustration out for a walk around the corner and let it play somewhere else. Bring serenity back home with you.
Fear - All consuming reindeer that shrivels common sense and well being. Can only be replaced by faith.
Resentment - close cousin of the other reindeer, leaves its droppings everywhere for you to clean up
Anger - explosive one minute, seething the next. Can be hardest to see coming
Selfishness - Always wants things his way because he cannot fathom that another way could possibly be better. Usually does not even recognize itself when shown a mirror
Dishonesty - hides food for you, hides truthful feelings, steals your happiness.

When the Eight Reindeer of the Christmas Apocalypse come 'round your festivities this year, don't make a warm place for them at your hearth. Acknowledge what they are but do not invite them in to stay.

I can only stay on track keeping the pounds off at Christmas when I stay clear of these eight naughty reindeer. Do you have any reindeer that seek to take away your holiday joy?

Jane~

Exercising the (Binge) Pounds Off

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Cartelli) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 09:00:00 +0000

If you are someone who thinks "I can eat whatever I want this holiday as long as I increase my exercise to burn those extra calories. . . ", and your normal exercise routine is best described as sporadic, forced, tepid or neophyte, get out of that mindset! You are setting yourself up for a fall.

If you currently exercise 45 minutes 6 days a week are you going to increase to 90 minutes a day, 6 days a week and stick with it through the holiday buffet hangovers? People who think they can lose a quick five pounds before Christmas so they can 'comfortably' gain over Christmas are really doing themselves a great disservice. Quick weight loss means a loss of muscle. Quick gain always includes fat. You could come out weighing exactly what you did but be less healthy with a higher percentage of body fat. Do that a couple of times and you will find it getting harder and harder to get the pounds off in between the binges. The ability to knock off a few quick pounds will become a heavy chore.

I might be able to exercise away the calories from a couple of cookies but I will not exercise away the calories in a binge without damage to my body and no amount of time in the gym is going to relieve me of the cravings that fill my mind and body when I awaken the sleeping giant of compulsively eating food.

By all means increase your exercise because it is the healthy, right thing to do for your body. Don't camouflage it under a mountain of calories. That will not help you in keeping the pounds off.

Jane~