The Final word

No chances taken

2016-12-22T09:16:00.000+05:30

New connection led to an old feeling,

endless conversations converted a cold message into a serendipitous meeting.

Hearing and realizing the presence of heart,

a rose tinted haze of joy followed and continued.

Nothing changed but everything slowly did, one day at a time,

a sudden pause and a prolonged silence followed.

I felt the slow sinking feeling of loss,

rest of the story followed the life plot to the end of the end.

With no power to change your mind, I did the only thing I can,

hitting the road of distraction and avoidance,

only getting far enough so that I am not close enough.

Painting the past

2016-01-25T07:16:00.002+05:30

I painted on a rich canvas of our memories,
with our feelings as colors,
moments as elements,
and our future as my inspiration.

The comfort of your past,

left you distracted and me dejected.

The idea survives in the vacuum of my heart,

with the inspiration missing the canvas lies incomplete.

Love in Europe

2016-01-25T06:51:00.001+05:30

In the presence of lord,
And the genius of his creation,
I ran the risk of failure,
To confirm the feeling in my heart as love.

By the falling watch tower,
Which proved the law of attraction,
I fought for a similar force,
with opposite results.

In the city of love and light,
In the darkness of the night,
To the certainty of known unknown,
I lost the love I had.

In memory

2014-12-24T08:38:00.001+05:30

Love was about us,
but I lost you on the way,
to distractions and destiny.

Your beautiful face, reassuring eyes,
warm smile and tender touch had lingered around in my mind,
but distance reduced the intensity and time the frequency.

As I continued to lose you,
you became part of my past,
and an element of you became my present.

Your imperfections faded,
and your virtue elevated in the ideal version of you.
I lost you, but found love for this new you.

Humans - You and I, could lie, cheat and deceive,
but in the faulty simulator of my mind,
the idea of you was pure and perfect.

Mind gave up on you,
heart stuck to the idea of you.
With their own versions of truth as fuel, they drove in opposite directions.

The map of experience tells me- there will be a fork in future,
mind and heart will find a way back,
till then, you have become my past and present.

Moments

2014-12-08T04:20:00.002+05:30

You know it’s a moment to treasure,
when you don’t know the start,
and when you believe there is no end.

You know it’s a moment to treasure,
when time ceases to matter,
and when the journey is the desired destination.

You know it’s a moment to treasure,
when every reminder to reality seems a karmic punishment,
and when life is an avoidable distraction.

You know it’s a moment to treasure,
when you let go and let in,
and when you don’t need to think, and just feel.

30 Under 30 (Updates)

2014-12-03T05:53:00.000+05:30

Five years back I decided to compile a list of 30 things I wanted to do in pursuit of happiness. But over the years, I realize the purpose seems to be to document how my idea of happiness is transforming year over year. It has been a delightful journey. And here is the annual update.

So the 30 things are (Not in any particular order):

Complete watching IMDB 250 Movies (130 Movies)
Read 250 books (165 Books)
~~Complete a Marathon (Registered for SF Half-Marathon 2013)~~ - (Completed it in 2 hr 5 min)
Complete a compilation of 40 poems (24 Poems)
Learn a dance form
Work on another start-up/initiative (Other than Grassroutes, Activist Circle and Vita Beans)
Learn Swimming and go Scuba Diving (Preferably Caribbean)
Write/Shoot/Act in 10 short-films (4 Fuqua Vision Videos)
Work for an Indian political party
Learn Morse Code and gain proficiency of over 10wpm/Learn to converse in a new language
Complete Tour of Nilgiris
~~Mentor a college startup~~ (Done)
Go on a Beatles tour
~~Compete in an established sporting event representing college/office team~~ (Captained Fuqua Cricket team in Blue Cup)
Trek to Everest Base Camp
~~Backpack across Europe~~ (15 days of travel through Spain > Italy > France > Germany)
Visit 25 countries (Travelled across 7 Countries - Portugal, Spain, Germany, France, Italy, US, Costa Rica)
Learn to play an instrument and JAM on stage
Follow the campaign trail attending public rallies of a political candidate
Write for a daily or weekly
Teach an undergraduate course for a month
Go on a roadtrip with no predetermined destination
Build a place to house my personal library
Plan a month long walking tour (Preferably across Andhra Pradesh)
Drive Coast to Coast (NY to SF)
Skydive (Preferably at Hawaii)
Host a talk show for TV/Radio/Online
Attend Burning Man
Donate to build/upgrade a school
Give up an obsession for a year (I am guessing FB)

Shooters in the dark

2014-02-28T23:03:00.000+05:30

I needed the noise outside, to drown the insecurities within.
Dim lights and darkness, to hide the emptiness inside.
Armed with intoxication, as a safe excuse,
I looked for warm comfort.

The dream of day was for meaningful company,
but the meaning was lost by night.
The heart spoke in the day,
while the body took over the night.

I wish the night never ended,
and the light never came on.
I pay the bills for the night in the light,
Reality dawning and futility unfolding.

I promise the day a better night.
But like the sun, the resolve sinks too.
I look for for execuses and acceptance around me,
and the empty circle continues.

Silent Prayer

2014-02-28T22:24:00.000+05:30

An opportunity to kick the cynicism within,
to brush away the old and to welcome the new.
Our chance at collective redemption,
and to realize a promise of real change

A man's legacy

2014-02-28T03:42:00.002+05:30

An idea that refuses to die,
an extreme that protects sanity,
an interpretation that explains the past,
a war cry that will never win the ultimate battle.

Man on the Moon

2013-12-09T22:55:00.003+05:30

Two men walking around, late evening, on the sea of tranquility changed the course of what is possible for human race. On July 20th, 1969 Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong etched their names into the human history by being the first ones to walk on the moon. They achieved what was impossible. They gave us, now cliched, inspirational call for action "If we can put the man on the moon, we can go achieve our impossible dream". It gave a generation of dreamers the license to dream and the confidence to realize them.

Over the weekend,Indian politics had it's own 'man on the moon' moment. For a political party to fight an election with white money (impossible), without any connections(impossible), taking on heavy weights of the day with nothing but enthusiasmand truth, would have sounded just like the fool's dream as it sounded in 1961 when Kennedy declared that "before this decade is out, we will land a man on the Moon and return him safely to the Earth". But this Sunday, it turned out to be just as historically important.

Arvind Kejriwal has achieved the impossible. This will change the way politics is conducted in India. It gives every young person who wanted to do something, but was not sure, the license to dream and the confidence to achieveit. It denounces the cynicism of armchair psephologists, on what is possible. It gives an entire nation that has waited for a philosopher king, a small hope.

Like everything romantic, this too will hit the plateau of reality. There will be disillusionment. The promise of a brave new world is too radical and incremental, than putting a man on the moon. It involves tough, unpopular, and relentless decision-making. This is just a beginning. This is start of an attempt to course correct. The men of moment will falter. They will make mistakes, and mostly they may not stand up to the tall promises. But, the significant event is the win itself.

Like the moon landing inspired Steve Jobs to dream of empowering each individual with limitless computing power, or many other engineers to power a technology revolution that has changed the course of human history. This moment should inspire every Indian into action. It should drive us to create impact in a way that we find meaningful. It should drive out deep-rooted cynicism and bring in a new energy. The Indian variant of the cliche should be "If AAP can win an honest election, we can achieve whatever be our impossible dream." Let that be our war cry. May the force be with us!

Left of Right

2013-04-01T09:04:00.000+05:30

Rush of romanticism forced a leftward lunge,

my comrades called out for killing greed.

they talked of revolution and

meek inheriting the earth.

But, I wondered then what?

Meek shall be the masters,

and master shall be meek,

a circle of continuos creation and destruction.

The dead end forced a rightward march,

feed the greed and,

all will be taken care of, said the suits.

The silver bullet and the invisible hand.

It was a fight of unequals for a shrinking pie,

in the name of equal opportunity.

Funnel and trickle down counted for peanuts,

as gap became a crater, moving further away to become different worlds.

One was a road to nowhere,

and the other towards definite darkness.

Left and right, I was back to where I started.

Lost, with a added dose of confusion.

Tired and exhausted I looked with in.

View of the world outside was my world inside out.

With my life in chaos, I looked out for clarity.

The old man was right - changing the world starts within.

Abandoned Road 2.0

2013-04-01T09:02:00.000+05:30

As rubber hit the road,

for a trip down the road abandoned,

a smile here and few words there is all it took to start,

a journey towards discovering an old feeling.

I was back in the world of magic,

where every moment was filled with excitement and expectation,

where difference between reality and dreams seem to blur,

where small was significant.

But, something inside me called out -

We think in dreams but live in reality.

Every thought of yours brought with it a mirror and a magnifying glass.

Silenced by reality, I romanced the thought, while you stood alongside.

The time gone by said,

Words of love have to be paid with pain.

And all I could afford was silence,

I let go of the promised land for the status quo.

As rubber hit the road,

for a trip down the road abandoned,

giving in to the demands of the demons,

I halted the journey and the road remains abandoned.

In hope

2013-03-14T08:12:00.004+05:30

I live in memories of our past,
constantly reminded of my sins.
Actions I cannot undo,
words I cannot take back.

Accused of not fighting enough for us,
fight is all I do to get by.
Alternate reality as my opium,
I live through dreams I created and destroyed.

Throwing the only key away,
I wait for you to open the door.
Without voice to reach you,
I live in hope and in pain.

Ticket to future

2013-03-14T08:08:00.000+05:30

Tickets are paid to a place,

away from pain and the past.

No baggage of our memories packed,

very light heart I carry on board.

I accept our end as the new start,

riding out for a new adventure.

A new ode I would write,

of replacing an old ghost with a new angel.

30 things to accomplish under 30

2013-03-12T07:12:00.005+05:30

Here are 30 things that I want to accomplish before I turn 30. Sometimes in running to complete our daily routine we tend to miss the bigger picture, we forget to ask ourself- what do I want from my life ? What am I most scared of ? What are my BHAGs? and in turn what makes me happy ? So, the whole point of the exercise is to figuring out accomplishing scary and audacious tasks that makes me happy. After all life is about pursuit of happyness (Cliched, but still...)

I have been inspired to draw up this list by looking at a similar effort by Abhilash. Other than inspiration I also borrowed couple of rules from Abhilash's post, they being:

1) No goals concerning personal life

2)No goal should be even close to both ‘easy’ and ‘impossible’

Updated: 7th Sep. 2015 (4/30) - Ends Nov. 20 2017

So the 30 things are (Not in any particular order):

Complete watching IMDB 250 Movies (144)
Read 250 books (181)
~~Complete a Marathon (Completed SF Half-Marathon 2013 - 2:10:02)~~
Complete a compilation of 40 poems ( 21 Poems)
Learn a dance form
Work on another start-up/initiative (Other than Grassroutes, Activist Circle and Vita Beans)
Learn Swimming and go Scuba Diving (Preferably Caribbean)
Write/Shoot/Act in 10 short-films (5 Fuqua Vision Videos)
Work for an Indian political party
Learn Morse Code and gain proficiency of over 10wpm/Learn to converse in a new language
Complete Tour of Nilgiris
~~Mentor a college startup~~ (Done)
Go on a Beatles tour
~~Compete in an established sporting event representing college/office team~~ (Captain Fuqua Cricket Team)
Trek to Everest Base Camp
~~Backpack across Europe~~ (20 days on the road)
Visit 25 countries (Travelled across 7 Countries)
Learn to play an instrument and JAM on stage
Follow the campaign trail attending public rallies of a political candidate
Write for a daily or weekly
Teach an undergraduate course for a month
Go on a roadtrip with no predetermined destination
Build a place to house my personal library
Plan a month long walking tour (Preferably across Andhra Pradesh)
Drive Coast to Coast (NY to SF)
Skydive (Preferably at Hawaii)
Host a talk show for TV/Radio/Online
Attend Burning Man
Donate to build/upgrade a school
Give up a daily routine for six months (I am guessing FB)

I am sure my attempt at completing these 30 things will be a great experience. Honestly, if I can achieve half of things on the list I will be thrilled. I will update the list as I have more updates.

Jaded

2013-02-14T23:22:00.002+05:30

I felt some things are best left unsaid.

For, I knew not what to say.

I knew not if the time was right.

I knew not what future had in store for us.

But, I did know I would find my voice.

I did know there would be a time.

I am finally here and I have the magic words.

But, miles apart, you will not hear them.

Something are best said,

And there is never a better time.

I wish we could travel down the memory lane,

or across the oceans to make true of the words unspoken.

Old poem to mark yet another V day!!

A great moment for freedom!

2013-02-04T11:44:00.000+05:30

"There were apprehensions that demonstrations could turn violent. The actual strength of Tamil Nadu police is 91,000, but if one were to deduct personnel required for special units, there were only 87,000 cops for a population of over 7 crore. The strength required for one theatre for three shifts is 60. So, the manpower required for 524 theatres is 31,440" - J Jayalalitha on Viswaroopam

Exercising their constitutional right, the court and CM of a state have justified censuring and censoring ideas and thoughts (how ever inaccurate and unnecessary they may be!). So tomorrow if some fringe group threatens 51, 777 schools or 5,000 odd hospitals in her state. Should we close them down indefinitely as well?

Where do we stop getting offended or getting hurt? Does a threat of violence add legitimacy to the act of getting offended? How come the government not care about crushing genuine protest not for hurting their sentiment but because their livelihoods are wiped out? Or their houses of decades are razed in a day, not for a power plant but, wait for it, for another mall?

I wish courts, politicians and we, the society at large, stop legitimizing 'hurt sentiment' as a valid reason for censorship. This dialog from The American President movie, sums up my feelings on freedom:

"You want free speech? Let’s see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil... You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the ‘land of the free"

We do need freedom to speak, act and to offend to move ahead. If we all agree and keep each other happy, we aren't pushing ourself hard enough. We have to move ahead and disrupt the status quo to create the land our forefathers envisioned when they prayed to the lord to let the country awake as a nation where the mind is free of fear and head is held high!

Now all I can say is I am offended by the acts of censorship! I can't threaten to turn my protest violent, but can we still consider me getting offended and censor the censorship!

Ode to a girl

2012-08-31T11:24:00.001+05:30

Trying to tell you how special you are,

attempts I will continue to make.

No words can ever convey,

voice of what my heart says.

I wish love was a language,

right vocabulary I would find.

All the feelings would have a word & an

ode to you I would I write.

Very Very Special

2012-08-20T06:50:00.000+05:30

Dravid celebrated Laxman on reaching his 100th test milestone saying 'Cricket as his gift, Laxman brought joy to many people.' I happen to be one of those many people. As a kid, I got up to see Laxman make Aussies run all over SCG. He looked possessed and determined. He brought respect and dignity to an otherwise lost cause. For me, a hero was born then. Just to destroy the famed Aussie attack was a victory in itself. The sense of invincibility, I felt watching him score his 281 at Kolkata will remain unparalleled for an Indian player. There was a sense of inevitability about that innings as he walked. Indian cricket was never the same after that innings and I never stopped believing in miracles after that.

No other player in the world (with the exception of Miachel Bevan) could reassure the tail (and all of us) of their batting capabilities. Ojha, Ishan, Zaheer and whole era of tailenders will vouch for that. He scored bulk of his eight thousand odd runs playing with bowlers who were discovering their batting ability. That further underlines his prowess. Laxman's often forgotten other gift is his ability to make fielding around the bat look easy. He made all the half-chances look simple. At slips, silly point and forward short leg, Laxman has taken some breath-taking catches all around. His calmness shone through his ability to decimate a bowling attack in his inimitable style or his skill to pluck catches out of thin air. Apart from his shout of anguish at Ojha, I have never seen him agitated on the cricket field, redefining agression and competitiveness.

Laxman signed off as a man he has always been - putting team interests before his own. There is no doubt, he still had a few good years left in him. But, having been someone who struggled hard to find his day in the sun he decided to make way. If I could respect him anymore, I would.

I am writing because Laxman ends the era of cricketing heroes that I grew up with (Ganguly, Dravid, Kumble and Laxman). I feel a deep sense of loss.

VVS Laxman, you will be missed every time India is 4 wickets down for almost nothing or when there is a low catch flying into the slip cordon or the time when India is chasing a huge total overseas to win or as the provider of vicarious pleasure of tormenting the Aussies in their den. I will miss you for all the tests saved, all the tests won, all the catches taken and I will miss you for the wristy flicks to the spinners and pacers alike. Indian cricket will never be the same again for me. An era ends.

For all the joy, there is still an unfulfilled dream Laxman - bring home the Ranji trophy. Hyderabad is counting on you.

Silent agreements

2012-03-17T17:26:00.000+05:30

Trust is a delicate thread,
destined to break when shared.
Many tears are wasted over the broken ends,
for they join to shape the fabric of life.

Who owns the media?

2011-11-21T11:59:00.001+05:30

The credibility of media is under serious scrutiny and some actions of media in the recent past have only increased the common man's concerns over objectivity of reporting.

Case in point:

Nov 19th: CNN-IBN reports: High inflation blow to Govt's credibility: Montek Singh Ahluwalia (as a top headline) (Link to the video >>http://bit.ly/sgfslM, which I can't find on the main page anymore)

Nov 20th: the entire interview is telecasted. Mysteriously it doesn't find any mention on the top headlines of the site or in the politics section.

Nov 21st: Tucked away in a slide show the same show has a new headline and guess what it reads. 'Indian banking's downgrade by Moody's absurd: Montek Singh Ahluwalia' (6th slide on the left side of the site) (Video link >> http://bit.ly/rvcvKi) .

I am left wondering why the headline changed from an explosive confession to an inconsequential rhetoric. Why is the news kept away from the headlines? Was there a direction from the Govt.?

Revolution within

2011-09-25T12:55:00.000+05:30

Uneasy with the attributed identity,
I yearn for the identity that was.
As a disillusioned romantic in the middle of a revolution,
I have no where to run and no where to hide.

Self-deprivation to speak to a sleeping master,
wakes an ugly monster within.
Drunk and driven by darkness,
they make a futile attempt for light.

Ban Tomatina. What next?

2011-09-14T20:34:00.003+05:30

There has been an active campaign to ban Tomatina festival in Bangalore. It is wonderful to see such activism. But I would like to take a step back and see if we are barking at the wrong tree?

Could a country where people are starving afford 'Common Wealth' Games? Do we feel okay hogging water and electricity resources for Jacuzzi and umpteen gadgets when around 10% of villages don't have any access to clean water and 15% of villages don't have electricity ? How is Tomatina different from a rock concert, sporting event, star hotel etc. which are wasting more resources which can be put to better use? These are moral questions and the answers to which would vary based on our personal sensitivity.

While there is a valid point in the outrage, I feel it is directed at a symptom than at the problem itself. The problem is with our Govt. policy and problem is with the apathy in urban middle class, which has been a beneficiary of the Govt. policies. So can we take a stab at the problem? Can we force them to get their policies right and implement them? Can we sensitize urban youth to the world beyond their city? I feel we are settling fighting the easier battles. May be we will win this battle, but the war is on.

I am with change.org's central message but I don't think banning a festival or organizing a drink-for-social-change kind of festivals are going to bring meaningful change.

T for Tragedy

2011-03-12T14:26:00.004+05:30

We live in weird times, hooligans demand democratic rights and peaceful protest means to destroy public property. This irony isn't what is shocking, it is the middle-class approval to wanton acts of violence. They proclaim - when we are in a struggle such acts happen. Sounds like the specious argument made by Rajiv Gandhi on Sikh Roits.

They compare our T-struggle to protest in Tahrir square. People who maintained peace in the face of death, people who volunteered to clean the square because it was their country and that is what they do. I hope the power of web is not strong enough that they hear about how this inspired revolution is unfolding. I am sure they would be ashamed for inspiring such people.

Planned destruction is attributed to police excesses. People carried ropes, sickles, knives, kerosene and hammers for a peaceful protest. Students of our premier institute find no better way to vent their frustration than to burn buses, throw stones and intimidate the police and public with dire consequences. If these are educated men who are going to blaze T-land in the sphere of development, I wish my people well.

Interesting times indeed.

The leader of our struggle can't seem to complete a sentence without threatening, humiliating or provoking his enemies. I wonder if this is T-culture ? Where, you want to spit in the mouth of people, rip them apart and threaten to beat them to pulp. His speeches sound like a script given to an out-law in a B-Grade film.

An elected representative was attacked on the floor of the house. Physically abused for having a different opinion. Khabardaar! they roared. There is silent approval and appreciation for this in the T-middle class and there is approval in the educated elite. Looking at this I wonder, how we are any different from Pakistan where the murderers of liberal leaders are hailed as heroes? How are we different from extremist elements who offer no room for disagreement, who end any dual by flexing their muscles. I also wonder the example we are setting for our kids.

Countries and regions formed on hatred and divisiveness have not been able to contain the spiral and are today failed states. Pakistan and Bangladesh may be good examples. Countries who fought for principle and for peace have prospered. India and South Africa are case in point. I hope T-ites know their history.

I feel sad and ashamed. I wish I could be proud some part of it, any part of it. Alas! wishes they are.

Such out-laws and people who can't control their emotions, don't deserve democracy. Self-rule and separate state comes next. We should demand them to behave before anything else. The whole country is watching, our kids are watching.

If there is a separate state, so be it. If we get a land of our own, we will work on it. But this violence and intimidation in the name of revolution is not done.

PS: I am from the T-region and agnostic on the issue.

Deep Tan

2011-02-14T13:38:00.002+05:30

Scales of judgement recalibrate to recognize fairness in insanity,

scattered priorities realign to connect the dots,

old dying world starts living afresh,

when cupid strikes and magic happens.

Detour to dream world becomes an unavoidable halt from pleasant reality,

Sentences spoken convey more than just the meaning of words,

physical distances cease to indicate intimacy of hearts,

when cupid strikes and magic happens.

Matters of no consequence become an acceptable proxy for togetherness,

promise of companionship morphs inevitable destiny into an achievable target,

coveted positions of heart get ceded a secret a day,

when cupid strikes and magic happens.

Living through these times,

basking in these moments of magic,

heart grows a deep tan which won't pale in a life time,

mind nourishes memories which would last beyond.

Just for the record!