Have you ever had a day (or a week) in which it seems like everything that could go wrong goes wrong?  Yeah…I’d guess I’m not the only one.  And last night, after everything seemed to calm down, I made the choice to eat more than I should.  I recognized what I was doing after only a few minutes, and that’s when I phoned a friend.  Actually, I sent Kelly a text which basically said I’m on the verge of eating too much, and she called almost immediately.

I had already eaten more than I should have, but it could have been much worse.  When we spoke, I stopped eating crap, started drinking water and vowed to go and exercise until I didn’t feel like eating anymore, and I went.

After finishing 5 miles on the ellpitical and drinking a gallon of water, I forgave myself.  And I’m feeling pretty pleased about the choice I made the push the junk food aside and hit the gym. Sure, I shouldn’t have eaten junk food.  And yes, I regretted it almost immediately, but I was reminded by a good friend who has definitely been there that the best time to get back on track is right now.  I did that, and I’m going to feel a lot better about myself today than I would have otherwise.

I may not be perfect, but I’m awesome.  And Kelly is awesome too….

Yesterday was weigh-in day, but I want to give you an update on Dad first.  I also want to thank everyone who prayed for him, sent encouraging vibes or encouragement….I love you for always being here for me…thank you.

Dad is home from the hospital now, and he did not have a stroke.  The doctors think that he had issues due to medicine that he was taking.  I’m not sure that I buy that, but I’m a thousand miles away…and I’m not a doctor.  He’s still coughing so much that he has trouble getting through a phone call, and he sounds tired.   He still insists he’s fine, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop worrying right now so please just keep the prayers coming.  Thanks.

In other news, I’m down another 2.2 this week which means I’m still headed in the right direction…finally.  I’ve worked out 6 out of the last 7 days, and I was so sore last night that I decided that my body needed rest.  Today I’ll do cardio, but I’ll give my body another day of rest from weights and floor exercises.

Last night I bought my first container of whey protein powder so I’ll try it in a smoothie for breakfast today.  After posting about the Weight Watchers smoothies, several of you noted that protein powder would be better so I’ll see how this goes.  Do you drink whey protein shakes?  I plan to add milk, spinach, strawberries and a banana, and I’m guessing that it will leave me feeling full and satisfied all morning.  We’ll see.

And one more thing…My friend, Janna, and I are hosting a Valentine’s Day Swap, and we’d love to have you take part in it with us.  If you’re interested, check out the details here, and don’t forget to sign up by Tuesday!  Do you want to be my valentine? <3

My dad was in an accident earlier today, and though he insists that he’s fine now, he’s in the hospital.  He was taken to the ER where they ran tests, and it seems as though he may have had a stroke though they won’t confirm anything until tomorrow.  He seemed much better tonight, but I just want to be there with him.  We’ll see what happens in the next 24 hours…

If you pray, please do that now….I’ll update more later when my brain isn’t so scattered.

I’ve been in a pretty healthy groove again since late December, but I’ve had some thoughts in the last 24 hours that have helped me regain some of the confidence that I lost last year…

Shortly before dinner last night, I went to the grocery store to pick up some vegetables to add to my salad.  And on the way home, I passed a restaurant that makes gigantic, deep-fried cheese sticks that make me salivate whether I’m hungry or not (even right now.)  And for a moment I thought about the days long ago that I used to visit here, drive to that place and pick up an order (or two) of the big, hot cheese sticks and eat them all when I got home – followed by a 3 scoop ice cream sundae.  That occurrence (though not with this particular restaurant)  was far too familiar in those days, and when I’d finish, I’d feel sick and promise myself that I wouldn’t do that again…then I’d do it again.

As I drove by that place last night I realized that I hadn’t given it a thought in years.  And when the restaurant did catch my attention, for a split second, I thought about those days.  I remembered a time in my life in which I ate without thinking twice about it, and I remembered the taste of those stupid cheese sticks.

But in the next moment, I smiled as I drove by because I thought about my life now.  Sure, I don’t take a bite or a drink of anything without calculating it in my mind, and everyday I wake up and think about the workout I’m going to do.  I go out of my way to look up nutrition facts, and often times,  it takes monumental effort to tell myself no.

And last night I thought about how delicious those cheese sticks would have been for a moment before coming home to see homemade french fries that my visiting relatives were eating while I was preparing to have a big spinach and cabbage salad.

And as I sat down with my family, after a little teasing, I took a few bites of the fries before quickly pushing away the rest, and I said…”Do you know how hard it is to pass up those fries right now?  Not nearly as hard as it was to walk up a flight of stairs before I started making healthy choices.  Screw the fries.  I’m having the salad.”

I got up immediately and prepared my giant salad with baby spinach, romaine, cabbage, cucumbers and tomato with a little protein on the side then sat down again and ate it while I enjoyed their company.

I’m not saying that we have to choose salad over fries every time, but I am saying that while the fries or the cheese sticks, no doubt, would have tasted great for a few minutes, the salad which was loaded with healthy and hearty things that I like too, left me feeling full and satisfied while bringing me closer to my goals.  And with that knowledge, I can tell you that last night’s salad was the best salad I’ve ever eaten.

A few minutes after dinner, the dull craving I experienced (which I’m going to talk about it a post soon) passed, and I was happy with my choice to eat something healthy, flavorful, delicious and filling.

I know that my journey is not over and that some days will be harder than others – I’m no stranger to that.   But today, I am not intimidated or nervous or anxious about it.  Instead, I’m clinging to the knowledge that I can do this…I am doing it, and once again, and it feels good to say that I’m healthier today than I was yesterday.

I’m writing this letter to you because it makes me hopeful that you’re out there somewhere.  And lately, in my dreams, I find myself talking to you even though I can’t remember your face when I wake up.   Do we  know each other?  If we do, I don’t realize it yet so fill me in if you figure it out first, okay?

I want you to know everything about me and love me anyway, but let’s start with the basics.  I’m smart (though probably not as smart as I think I am.)   I’m strong-willed, and I don’t give up even when things get tough.  That will be good for us, won’t it?

As we get to know each other you’ll probably notice that I can be emotionally needy.  Seriously, Future Mister Kenz…I need more assurance than the average girl, but I’m trying to work through my insecurities so maybe it won’t be an issue by the time we find each other.  If it is, love me anyway, okay?   And speaking of finding each other, I’d love it if you found me.  I’ve looked for so long!  And people say that love finds you when you’re not looking so…maybe you can find me when I’m not looking?

I’ll also need you to kill spiders, take out the garbage and keep my feet warm when they’re freezing (which happens pretty often.)

And you don’t have to love Pearl Jam, but I need you to respect the fact that I love them, okay?  We’ll probably find common ground in music because my taste runs the gamut, but look…I’ll watch action movies with you if you go to concerts with me.

Now let’s talk about the important stuff…It’s  extremely important to me that you want me.  (You know, want me) in addition to loving me so show me often, okay?  I want to be the subject of your desires.  How could it be any other way if you’re in love with me?  And you have to be faithful to me too.  (Insert zero tolerance policy here.)  Right now, I’m in my early 30′s, and I’d rather stay single forever than to have my heart broken by someone who doesn’t love/want me as much as I want them.

And I don’t really care what you do for work as long as you do something that you’re good at and enjoy.  You don’t have to wear a suit and tie everyday either, but I’ll think it’s hot if you do.  And I hope you clean up well because I do, and we should look good together, right?

Oh! And speaking of being hot, you should know that I’m on a journey to look and feel better than I’ve ever felt before.  I pay attention to what I eat, and I exercise several times a week.  And while I might be at my goal by the time we fall for each other, you have to understand that this will always be an important part of my life.

I don’t drink everyday, and I cannot stand cigarettes.  I’ve gone through a lot to get where I am, and it would be amazing if you’d join me in running a 5k or a 10k or maybe in doing a triathlon.  I mean, I’m not asking you to love it as much as I do, but I hope you’ll embrace fitness.  When I’m in a race, whether you’re participating or not,  will you please try be there at the end to take a picture of me?  (Yes, I can be vain like that.)  And I take pictures of everything so get ready for that too.

There’s also something that you need to know.  I love designer handbags, sunglasses, clothes, etc.  You don’t need to know the difference between Michael Kors and Prada, and you don’t need to buy it or understand why I wish to carry an Hermes bag that costs about 5 grand.  It’s just something that I dream about, and I intend to make it happen in the future so you may want to start wrapping your head around that now.   I try not to put on heirs, but I like pretty things.  And for the record, I don’t think it has to be designer to be lovely.

You should also know that I have a few girlfriends that I loved long before you came into the picture.  Don’t worry.  I’ll introduce you, and we’ll all be friends…But sometimes I’ll want to spend time with them without you.  I’m independent, and that’s probably something you’ll like about me.  I just have to be sure we’re clear.  You can spend time with your friends or enjoying your hobbies too, but it will be fun to eat dinner with you most nights and to kiss you in the mornings.  You’ll probably just skip the pedicures, shopping for clothes and stuff like that.

Oh, and it doesn’t matter how much we love each other, I won’t share my toothbrush with you.  I just think it’s gross.  I almost always have spare toothbrushes because I replace mine often, but if we ever need another toothbrush, we’ll just go to Walgreens or something. Deal?

I read a lot, and sometimes I feel like singing.  And you should probably like my voice because “sometimes” is pretty often.  Maybe we’ll sing duets.  I also like to knit and play Scrabble (though I hate the Scrabble dictionary and refuse to use it.)  And I love almost every show on USA Network.  My favorites right now are White Collar, Suits and Necessary Roughness.  Maybe they’ll create another amazing show that we can DVR and watch together someday.

My family is important to me.  I love them with my whole heart, and they love me back.  And though Mom might take a little time to decide whether or not she likes you, they’ll all love you as long as you love me.

I won’t be perfect.  I’ll make mistakes (and try not to repeat the ones I’ve made in the past.)  And when I realize that you’re the one, I’ll do what I can to keep you.  I’ll be fiercely loyal.  I’ll  treat you with respect, always expecting it in return…I’ll cook for you (sometimes) and rub your back and listen to you when you’re frustrated and offer my support.  I’ll spend time with your family, pick up your clothes at the dry cleaners if they don’t deliver, and I’ll laugh at your jokes because I “get” you.

I deserve to be loved fully and completely and just as I am just as much as the next person.  I haven’t always understood that, but I do now.  And I’m looking forward to the day that you realize the same thing, and I can’t wait for the moment that I look at you and “just know.”

So maybe I don’t know you yet, but I already love you.  And I can’t wait wait to kiss you good night.

Until then….

It’s Monday again, and you know what that means!  It’s time for Friend Makin’ Mondays so let’s get started…

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

 FMM: Short Answers

1. Mac or PC? Both, but I prefer Mac.
2. Do you paint your own nails? Yes, and I’m quite good at it.
3. Beach or mountains?  Again, both…but I’m craving a nice beach vacation right now.  Who’s with me?
4. What’s the title of the book you’re currently reading?  First Light – an unauthorized sequel to Breaking Dawn that I downloaded on my e-reader for free.
5. Do you dance?  Yes, but I’m sure I look ridiculous doing it.
6. CNN or Fox News?  I prefer CNN, but don’t read too much into that…Who doesn’t love Anderson Cooper?  And my newest love is political reporter, Peter Hamby.  Swoon.
7. Do you ride a bicycle?  Yes, I love to ride my bike…it’s beautiful and fast.
8. Do you get a yearly flu shot?  Nope…not a fan of flu shots.
9. Best movie you’ve seen in 2012?  I know I’m behind the times, but I finally saw The Help over the weekend, and it was stellar.  I also saw Crazy, Stupid, Love and The Ides of March too, and they were both excellent as well.
10. Do you prefer to workout at home or at the gym?  It depends on the day.  I love the gym, but sometimes I’m in the mood to workout at home. I hit the gym hard over the weekend, and it felt good.
11. Last airport you were in?  New Orleans traveling from New York JFK
12. Married or single?  Single…
13. iPhone or Android? iPhone
14. Do you prefer to be in pictures or taking pictures?  I like both.  I take pictures of everything, but I really like to be in them too.
15. Favorite brand of sneakers?  Nike.  I’m trying to give my new Asics a chance, but Nike still wins.
16. Do you like snow?  Yep…
17. Do you have/want to have kids?  Want.
18. Summer or Winter? Both..I like snow and crisp mornings, but I also enjoy basking in the sun.
19. Do you know how to swim?  Yep.  It’s one of my favorite activities.
20. Do you prefer to shop in store or online?  Mostly in store…I like instant gratification.

Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions!  Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments!  And don’t forget…If you have an idea for FMM, send me an e-mail with the details, and you might see it here!  Happy Monday!

I generally workout 4-5 times a week, and that usually includes at least one weekend day.  This week I’ve exercised everyday except Thursday, and I spent a little extra time at the gym last night.  After doing 45 minutes on the elliptical, I did a lower body workout with weights.  I like weekend workouts because I don’t feel rushed, and the gym is usually empty.  It also helps counter the fact that I eat out most weekends even though I’m watching my portions.

Do you workout on the weekends?  Does your exercise routine change on Saturday and Sunday?

Losing weight tastes better than junk food, and I’m going to remind myself of that all weekend.

Am I the only one who needs to be reminded?

I know I’ve gushed about my Weight Watchers meeting before, but I just cannot express how much the meetings help me.  It makes every week a fresh start, but it’s more than that.  It’s an opportunity to vent my frustrations, to share motivation and to celebrate little accomplishments that add up to big success.

This week, I tracked my food and exercised, and I showed a 3.2 pound loss, and I’m determined to show another good loss next week.

Wednesday night, I felt like snacking so I tried something new – roasted spinach chips.  And it was fantastic!  Here’s what I did…

I placed 5 cups of spinach in a zip-loc bag with a teaspoon of olive oil and a little dash of salt and shook it up.  After the spinach was coated, I placed it on a cookie sheet and baked it on 300 degrees for about 15 minutes.  The spinach seemed soggy as I used the spatula to remove it from the pan, but it got crispy pretty quickly.  And it was delicious so I made it again last night.  Next time, I’ll make it without salt.

I forgot to take pictures the first time I made them, and now I can’t find my card reader so I borrowed a photo from cooking-books.blogspot.com  though I didn’t use that recipe.  And honestly, this picture is prettier than mine anyway. =)  Now i’m excited to roast kale and baby bok choy and other leafy greens too!

My workout schedule has been crazy this week so I plan to exercise much earlier today.  There were a couple of days in this week in which I didn’t exercise until midnight.  And while I’m glad that I got it done, I know that I need to get it done earlier so I can rest better when I sleep.

How’s your week going?  Are you working out? Eating well?  Do you need encouragement?  What’s new?

You may have deduced from the title of this post that I have a lot to say today, and I do.  Let’s start with school.  I started classes yesterday, and I was immediately reminded that I LOVE being in the classroom!  I’m studying behavioral/social psychology, etc.  and find myself interested in it already.  And after being out of the classroom for what feels like forever, it feels great to be back.  Learning me makes me giddy, and I hope I always feel that way.

And only days before I reentered the classroom, I found my first gray hair! I noticed it as I was staring at myself in the mirror washing my hands so I pulled it out and compared it to the brown strap on my bag.  Check it out…

If a picture is worth a thousand words then I think the photo above tells the story…I’m 31 years old, and I’ve officially experienced my first gray hair!  I let the color grow out last year because I wanted to know if I had any gray, and now that I know that I do, I’ll probably go back to coloring it at some point soon.  For now, most of my hair is brown so I’ll worry about it later.

Today is weigh-in day too, and I’m ready.  I’ve hit it hard at the gym and outside of it this week, and I’ve been mindful of my food while tracking it everyday.   Focusing on small, weekly goals seems to be working for me again, and I’ve spent a lot of time reminding myself that  as I accomplish these small goals, they’ll add up.  I know that, and that’s good enough for me.  And now I want to talk about something fun…

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Last year, Janna, who blogs here, and I hosted a Healthy Valentine’s Swap, and we’ve decided to do it again this year.  Everyone deserves a valentine so if you’re interested (even if you have a valentine and just want another one) check out the details below!

Janna and I love presents – giving them and receiving them, and we’re inviting you to join us in the fun.  And because many of us are living healthy lives, we’ve decided to host a healthy valentine swap.  Let’s get creative with candles, DVD’s, lotion and other fun things that won’t interrupt our healthy living.  Let’s just keep it around $25, okay?  And you know, skip the giant heart filled with chocolate or the giant Reese’s heart…swoon. (Okay, send the Reese’s heart to me. hehe)  But seriously, we’d love to have another fun-filled swap, and if you’re reading this, we’d love to see you participate!

If you’re interested in taking part in the Valentine’s Day swap, please sign up no later than Tuesday, January 31st. We will send you an e-mail with your partner’s information and blog address no later than Wednesday, February 1st so you can send your package no later than February 8th.

Once you’ve received your e-mail, take a little time to read your partner’s blog so you can get to know them a bit. Take it a step further and maybe you can shoot some emails back and forth. It will totally help when thinking of what they might like to receive. =) And once you’ve received your package, please take some time to post about it on your blog. It’s a nice and easy way to say thank you while sharing what you received with the rest of us!

So here’s a recap:

* Leave a comment with your e-mail address so we know how to contact you.

* Post about the swap on your blog and link back so others can join. Hey..everyone deserves a Valentine, right?

* Sign up before January 31st at noon central time.

* Wait for an e-mail with your swap partner’s information and blog address.

* Get your package out NO LATER than February 8th.

If you have any questions you can email Kenz or Janna at: kenlie@alltheweigh.com or atxbikegirl@gmail.com!

* You will have a partner by Sunday, February 6th.

Then let the shopping, shipping and friend making BEGIN!!!

Janna, Reese and Kenz

I’ve been fortunate to meet so many awesome people through my blog, and Janna and I are friends as a result.  Please join the fun, make some friends and do your part to make this an incredible swap!  Janna and I are definitely looking forward to it!