Common Barriers to Personal Growth and Development

Written By: ethics

Do you find yourself striving to move forward but getting nowhere? You likely have barriers to personal growth and development that you may not even be aware of. However, you can overcome the obstacles and achieve your goals with a few lifestyle and mindset adjustments.

The most common barrier to personal growth and development is your own imagination. How much a person can accomplish is only limited by the vision and determination of the person. If you think that you cannot accomplish something, then you will fail – or fail to even try. If you think that you can accomplish something, and you put in the effort, you will succeed. Personal growth and development is often just that simple. It all begins – and ends – in your mind.

Another common barrier is dwelling on past failures or negative events. Perhaps it’s natural for our minds to dwell on such events, but only by moving beyond them can we truly grow as a person and in our careers. Use these incidents to learn what not to do as you make decisions and set goals; use them as reasons to work toward a more positive, productive and fulfilling future.

Support systems, or lack of support altogether, is yet another obstacle to self-improvement. Negativity from family, friends and co-workers will only serve to bring us down and hinder us from moving forward. Surrounding yourself with people who are striving for success in their careers and in life will help you to do the same. Whether you get support from an organized group, your friends, or your family makes no difference. The support that you get, the motivational pep talks and the shoulder to cry on when things go wrong, will help you to realize all of your goals and overcome your hurts and hurdles to personal growth and development.

Perhaps the most significant obstacle is the basic lack of planning. Many people go through life taking what is handed to them without ever setting down goals or striving to even meet, let alone exceed their own expectations. Setting goals, figuring out how to reach those goals, and making a timeline for success is a vitally important and often ignored pathway to success.

Remember, whatever your personal barriers to personal growth and development, you can overcome them – if you think you can.

Rethinking Reality – Is It Really Just One Thing?

Written By: ethics

Schrödinger’s Cat thought experiment is famous for identifying the “impossible” “two-state” notion of reality. After quoting a brief article from “Whatis.com” about this experiment, I’ll offer my perspective about what this all means for our understanding of life and how we can live an “impossibly” successful and joyful life.

“Schrödinger’s cat is a famous illustration of the principle in quantum theory of superposition, proposed by Erwin Schrödinger in 1935. Schrödinger’s cat serves to demonstrate the apparent conflict between what quantum theory tells us is true about the nature and behavior of matter on the microscopic level and what we observe to be true about the nature and behavior of matter on the macroscopic level — everything visible to the unaided human eye.

Here’s Schrödinger’s (theoretical) experiment: We place a living cat into a steel chamber, along with a device containing a vial of hydrocyanic acid. There is, in the chamber, a very small amount of hydrocyanic acid, a radioactive substance. If even a single atom of the substance decays during the test period, a relay mechanism will trip a hammer, which will, in turn, break the vial and kill the cat.

The observer cannot know whether or not an atom of the substance has decayed, and consequently, cannot know whether the vial has been broken, the hydrocyanic acid released, and the cat killed. Since we cannot know, according to quantum law, the cat is both dead and alive, in what is called a superposition of states. It is only when we break open the box and learn the condition of the cat that the superposition is lost, and the cat becomes one or the other (dead or alive). This situation is sometimes called quantum indeterminacy or the observer’s paradox: the observation or measurement itself affects an outcome, so that the outcome as such does not exist unless the measurement is made. (That is, there is no single outcome unless it is observed.)

We know that superposition actually occurs at the subatomic level, because there are observable effects of interference, in which a single particle is demonstrated to be in multiple locations simultaneously. What that fact implies about the nature of reality on the observable level (cats, for example, as opposed to electrons) is one of the stickiest areas of quantum physics. Schrödinger himself is rumored to have said, later in life, that he wished he had never met that cat.” SOURCE ARTICLE

Early in my youth I became fascinated by the prospect of actually doing what science
said was impossible to do. I learned from both the empirical and theoretical versions
of mathematics that there are an infinite number of points between any point A and
any point B no matter how long or short the actual distance between the two. A
proof of this is the hypothetical experiment that if I stand any distance from a wall
and go only half the distance to it with each step, I should never actually get to the
wall.

Mathematically, this experiment is possible to conduct; physically, it cannot be done.
However, we are all in the habit of “touching walls” without any thought about how
to do it or expending any effort in accomplishing this familiar feat.

I can actually touch the wall at any time I choose no matter what distance I am from
it when I begin my approach toward it. The math says I cannot traverse infinity
because infinity has no beginning or ending. However, the distance I cover between
myself (A) and the wall (B), comprising an infinite number of points, indicates that
what is finite can include what is infinite and that the infinite can be experienced
within the finite.

In other words, the two concepts, as commonly assumed, are not mutually exclusive.
Each exists only in relationship to and as an integral part of the other.

Life is a balancing act. The human being, just as a coin, can only exist at the nexus of opposites. Heads and tails comprise the coin and not merely one or the other. The one cannot exist without the other. Everything physical as well as metaphysical is manifested and experienced as a combination in equal degree of counterbalancing forces.

On the cellular level, for example, atoms are composed of a central nucleus
surrounded by electrons and positrons, which are elementary particles that have the
same mass but opposite electrical charges. These particles counterbalance each other
and identify the atom as a specific entity distinct from all other matter. Gravity, no
matter how scientifically explained, is nothing more than the unseen force that pulls
against that which pulls against it. The magnetic force is simply the equilibrium
between positive and negative poles that are aligned exactly opposite each other.

I’m saying that life is filled with unseen and unseeable content that shapes and determines what we can see and what we commonly refer to as “reality.” This invisible content comprises the “other side” of the coin that fuses with observable reality.

But just because it is invisible does not mean that it is not able to be experienced. In fact, were we to be but a bit more silent, spending just a slight moment more in reflective thought, we would come to know much more intimately that “other side” of our own personal reality. We would come to appreciate its perpetual presence throughout our personal chronology. We would become acutely aware of how it weaves its way through our personal stories and histories. In short, we would perceive it in everything we experience in the “real” world.

Try it. Remain calm. This is not a drill. It is real. Expand your life by experiencing more of it in the time of your life. When finite time is no more, infinite life will nonetheless continue because it has always been an integral part of your reality.

I believe you shape the infinite aspect of life by the choices you make regarding the finite aspect of life. Put pithily, “as you choose your life to become, so becomes your life to be.” If you choose your life to become more peaceful, your life to come will be more peaceful. Your choices in your finite reality transition to become your infinite reality. The best choices are made in consultation with the unseen side of your Self, because together you will make that transition one day. It will be a glorious day, if you choose it to be.

What is Culture?

Written By: ethics

Culture comprises a group of people’s perspectives and perceptions regarding what is true, right and real. It is what those people try to describe when asked, “What is life and how is it best lived?”

Keeping with the brevity of this definition, I offer the following acronym as a way to “fill in the blanks” to the question posed in this post: “What is culture?”

C = Civility, curiosity, compassion, circumspection, character, communication
U = Understanding, uniqueness, unrelenting, underestimated
L = Loving, latitude, leading, learning, laughter
T = Trustfulness, truthfulness, teamwork, tactfulness
U = ubiquity, urgency, ultimacy, unmitigated
R = Relationship, reasonableness, rational, reflexive, reflective, respectful
E = Empathy, energy, envisioning, engendering, educating, enriching

Do such words accurately, if not exhaustively, describe the culture you experience in the groups of people of which you are a part, like family, work or community?

What other words would you use to describe culture and its effects on human life and living? Please leave your comments.

Thanksgiving

Written By: ethics

I wish you a sincere Happy Thanksgiving and hope that you are at peace and will live from this day forward in abundance and prosperity. To that end, please enjoy this poem by Edgar A. Guest, “The People’s Poet.”

Thanksgiving

Gettin’ together to smile an’ rejoice,
An’ eatin’ an’ laughin’ with folks of your choice;
An’ kissin’ the girls an’ declarin’ that they
Are growin more beautiful day after day;
Chattin’ an’ braggin’ a bit with the men,
Buildin’ the old family circle again;
Livin’ the wholesome an’ old-fashioned cheer,
Just for awhile at the end of the year.

Greetings fly fast as we crowd through the door
And under the old roof we gather once more
Just as we did when the youngsters were small;
Mother’s a little bit grayer, that’s all.
Father’s a little bit older, but still
Ready to romp an’ to laugh with a will.
Here we are back at the table again
Tellin’ our stories as women an men.

Bowed are our heads for a moment in prayer;
Oh, but we’re grateful an’ glad to be there.
Home from the east land an’ home from the west,
Home with the folks that are dearest an’ best.
Out of the sham of the cities afar
We’ve come for a time to be just what we are.
Here we can talk of ourselves an’ be frank,
Forgettin’ position an’ station an’ rank.

Give me the end of the year an’ its fun
When most of the plannin’ an’ toilin’ is done;
Bring all the wanderers home to the nest,
Let me sit down with the ones I love best,
Hear the old voices still ringin’ with song,
See the old faces unblemished by wrong,
See the old table with all of its chairs
An’ I’ll put soul in my Thanksgivin’ prayers.

Accomplish Your Team’s Goals With Finesse!

Written By: ethics

To be successful as an individual you need only answer three simple questions:

• Where am I going?
• How will I get there?
• How will I know I’ve arrived?

This is true also for individuals who work together in teams. Each of these questions can be thoroughly answered by addressing a series of related questions.

1. Where are you going?

A. What are the team goals?
B. Do they apply to the entire team?
C. How will they affect the members of the team?
D. Do individual members of the team agree with the goals?
E. What impact will achieving these goals have on the organization?

2. How will you get there?

A. What time-lines exist?
B. What resources do you have?
C. What additional resources will you need?
D. What actions, methods, processes and procedures will you employ?
E. How will you address and solve problems and disagreements that arise?

3. How will you know you’ve arrived?

A. How will you check progress?
B. What will you use to measure your results?
C. What new goals does this lead you towards?
D. How will you determine if further action is necessary?

When each of these related questions are answered for each of the three primary goal-setting questions, your team will rapidly achieve its aims and fulfill its purpose. Furthermore, you’ll do it with fun and finesse!

Make this Thanksgiving the Beginning of a Better Life

Written By: ethics

Happy Thanksgiving! The following describes how you can make this year’s Thanksgiving the beginning of a better life and a terrific future.

You’re always leading with your attitudes. The attitude that you begin each day with determines what you receive throughout the day. Begin each day by “putting your best attitude forward.”

But what if you’re discouraged because of your current circumstances, frozen by fear or faint from fatigue? This is most certainly not your best attitude!

Martha Washington, George’s wife, demonstrated immense wisdom when she wrote, “I am still determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.”

When you find yourself overwhelmed by your circumstances, the first thing you need to do is change your attitude toward those circumstances. They are not your enemy nor are they the cause of your discouragement and misery.

How do you do that? You must be grateful for them. Your circumstances, whatever they may be, form the crucible in which your better Self is fashioned. Your best attitude will always demonstrate a genuine sense of gratitude. If you’re not grateful for what you have and what you’ve experienced, you cannot be in a frame of mind to receive anything better. Without gratitude, you cannot find purpose, passion or peace in your current circumstances.

The famed Roman philosopher and orator, Cicero, was right when he wrote, “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” In order to move closer to your better Self you must have firm terrain upon which to travel. Without sincere gratitude for your experiences and circumstances in life, you’ll always be mired in the quicksand of your disrespected past.

Gratitude is a vital ingredient of your better Self. Personal growth and fulfillment is impossible without it.

If you cannot believe that you’re part of a divine plan or that you’re being shepherded through life by some sort of cosmic providence, then perhaps a simple acknowledgement that you’re not the central player on the stage of the universe will suffice to assist your experience of gratitude for both the stage and your presence on it.

How can you become grateful? Use what you have to help someone else. You’ll soon discover your best attitude and your better Self.

A Perfect Liar

Written By: ethics

We lie. We don’t always do it intentionally. In fact, many of us try very hard never to lie intentionally. But that doesn’t mean we don’t lie without being aware of it. Lying stems from self-deception. A lie to another is always a consequence of a lie to ourselves. When we lie, it is always to ourselves first.

Why would we lie to ourselves? Because we are unwilling to accept our weaknesses and frailties. This is because we’ve bought into the ubiquitous notion that to live a successful life means to eradicate your imperfections. Nothing could be further from the truth! This is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves.

The reason we feel we need to overcome our weaknesses is that we’re wrapped up in ourselves. We use ourselves as the measuring stick to compare ourselves with everyone else, concluding that we’re either better than or not as good as they are. We become confused about our uniqueness and how we can live as our “true selves.”

In order to live our uniqueness and be filled with gratitude for who we are, we must get beyond ourselves.But when you get beyond yourself, where do you go? Exactly where is “beyond” yourself?

There are several answers to this question. I’ll focus only on the one that makes the most sense to me. That is a deity. No matter how strange such a concept might at first appear to be, God makes sense when you realize that in every human life there is an implied “referent.” A referent is something that is always “referred to” during the course of a conversation, a relationship, a life. It is that to which everyone appeals in disputes about fairness, equality and honesty.

That it exists is indisputable to anyone who has spent even a moment in self-reflection; the great confusion and dissipation of a human life is rooted in the lack of clarity of what this internal referent actually is and how it operates in our everyday consciousness.

Upon “graduating” from the Primary Class in Sunday School into the Junior Class, I was presented with a Bible. My Primary Class teacher, Mrs. Albert Meyer, wrote the following note on onion-skin paper (that meant the message was special) that she taped inside the front cover. It read:

June 26, 1960

Dear Kenneth:

Today is promotion day in the Primary dept. and you will leave us and go to the Juniors. We have had you with us for three years and will miss you and your smile. We want you to be happy and to never stop going to Sunday School and church. Every year will make you a better person and someday you, too, will be teaching boys and girls about God.

I hope you’ll always remember the two important things we stressed in our Bibles:

  1. The Golden Rule (Matt. 7:12)
  2. The First and Great Commandment (Matt. 22:37-38)

Keep and read your Bible all through your life. It always helps you to be honest with yourself and others.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Albert Meyer

The internal referent in human beings is that which proclaims the truth of our existence. It is unvarnished honesty, an inextinguishable light that exposes our self-deceit. We can expend enormous energy to ignore it but can never successfully eliminate it from our psyche. It is like a drop of vinegar in a bottle of water – it can be tasted in every drink.

Any act of dishonesty originates with our efforts to ignore our internal referent. Our desire to be without fault, to be better than we see ourselves to be, makes us uncomfortable with the truth about us – that our existence is fashioned from every element that comprises the entire spectrum of good and evil. In seeking to ignore the evil elements within us so that only the good parts remain, the good, having nothing left to define and clarify it, has no more reason to remain “good.” Much suffering has been caused by those who have deceived themselves into believing that they knew what “good” was for everyone else; that, of course, was their own inner “good” of self-delusion.

Jesus Christ, the deity of the Christian Gospel about whom Mrs. Meyer wrote, proclaims that human beings should be “perfect” even as the Father in heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:48). This appears to be a mighty tall order for mere mortals short on divine power; but only if you fail to fully understand that such words were uttered as a means to put humanity in its proper place.

Human beings have the tendency to put themselves at the center of all things, believing, in their selfishness, that they have created their own goodness. Jesus is reminding us to be honest about the fact that we have been created and did not create ourselves – including our goodness. Were we to be perfect as God is perfect, we would, in fact, be God. Our original sin is to try to be God (good) by ignoring and making excuses for our imperfection.

With this context in mind, Jesus is making two bold statements with a single sentence:

  1. it is impossible for human beings not to be imperfect
  2. human beings should, therefore, not attempt to be perfect as God is perfect, rather to be perfectly human, which means to accept imperfection and even evil as integral aspects of their created condition – to do so is truly to let God be the only true perfection

We need to be honest with ourselves and others in order to be perfect as we were created to be – warts and all. Our internal referent stands as a silent sentinel to remind us of the truth of human existence. The deity is not part of the human mind and spirit just to accuse and condemn, rather, to lead us into peaceful acceptance of our imperfection and weaknesses which then become the source of our unique expression of divine creative power. As the apostle Paul wrote:

“Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself!  Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me.  And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” (II Corinthians 12:7-10)

As I read it, Mrs. Meyer was right: the Bible helps us to be honest with ourselves and others. I’m glad I learned this lesson at such a young age, when I was far closer to perfection than I’ll ever be in this world again!

Ken Wallace Co-Stars in Groundbreaking Personal Development Movie, “The Keeper of the Keys”

Written By: ethics

International speaker, executive coach and author, Ken Wallace, will be walking the red carpet in Las Vegas for the world premiere of the new movie, “The Keeper of the Keys,” co-starring Jack Canfield, Marci Shimoff and John Gray.

The world screening of “The Keeper of the Keys” will take place on December 8, 2011 at a red-carpet premiere at the Plaza Las Vegas Hotel.

“The Keeper of the Keys” movie is produced by Robin Jay of the Las Vegas Convention Speakers Bureau and TwoBirds, Inc. and directed by respected industry veteran, Scott Cervine.

“My life’s work has been to help people live on purpose in peace and prosperity and assist them to become their better Selves so they can do better than their best at anything they try. This movie is an integral part of that work,” Wallace commented on his part in the movie.

Ticket information for the Premiere and luncheon is available at http://www.eventbee.com/v/thekeeperofthekeys. Tickets include:

  • A walk down the red carpet.
  • Access to the world-premiere screening of “The Keeper of the Keys.”
  • Access to the private after-party featuring the cast and crew from the film.
  • VIP Package also includes reserved seating in a “King’s Row” luxury booth and private access to the after-party VIP Lounge in the Triple Crown Ballroom.

Also available is a private luncheon at The Palm Restaurant in Caesar’s Palace which includes:

  • Only 70 seats.
  • A rare opportunity to spend close, personal time with Jack Canfield (best-selling author and personal development leader), John Gray (author of “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”), Marci Shimoff (New York Times bestselling author), Producer Robin Jay, Director Scott Cervine and Ken Wallace, among other experts who appear in the movie.
  • A donation to the world-renown organization, Volunteers in Medicine of Southern Nevada.

Wallace adds, “If you want your life to be better than it is right now, I believe this movie will inspire you and give you the tools to live on purpose in peace and prosperity.”

To order an autographed DVD at the discounted pre-release price of $29.95, click the ‘Order Now’ button below. Only 500 autographed DVD’s are available. Be sure to get yours today. They are going rather quickly!

Email ken@KenWallaceCompany.com to request further discounts for multiple DVDs.

Transforming Organizational Conflict into Enterprise Growth – Part 6

Written By: ethics

Effects of an Effective Conflict Risk Management Strategy

  • Conflict is everybody’s business
  • Conflict is resolved quickly and conflict-related risk and loss is permanently removed
  • Conflict is used as a performance recovery tool
  • Conflict sharpens focus on strategic business goals and objectives
  • Conflict is used to identify and prevent waste through conservation and enhancement of assets
  • Conflict is used strategically to build collaboration, commitment and civility
  • Conflict is used to identify and design corrective actions

Simple conflict resolution skills for risk reduction, loss prevention and performance recovery are a vital aspect of your conflict risk management strategy.  These skills, together with the quick resolution solution process will make resolving differences between personnel a natural part of the daily operating environment in your organization.  In short, it will become a competitive edge that will drive enterprise growth.

Transforming Organizational Conflict into Enterprise Growth – Part 5

Written By: ethics

Develop a Conflict Risk Management Strategy

A clearly defined and communicated conflict resolution process is only part of the organization’s overall conflict risk management strategy.  A conflict risk management strategy is simply a detailed plan that clearly states the environmental causes of conflict, their current negative impact on the organization’s forward momentum toward accomplishing its goals, all specific deleterious effects on its finances and prospects for growth and a concisely written list of all the behaviors that lead both to conflict and its resolution.  It furthermore identifies the resulting benefits to individuals and processes that the resolutions of conflicts will have.  But it goes a step further in that it details the ways in which the energy that is freed up by means of constructive resolution can be practically applied to existing business processes and improvement efforts.

Any effective conflict risk management strategy must include:

  1. Specific corrective actions that will concurrently remove the disruptive effects of conflict from all aspects of the operating environment
  2. Identification of processes, procedures, policies and behavioral patterns that contribute to recurring conflicts
  3. A detailed plan to eliminate these contributors to conflict from the operating environment
  4. A list of proven methods and behaviors that quickly resolve conflict by identifying and then addressing the underlying environmental and/or personal root causes
  5. A written agreement template to be completed by those in conflict agreeing to change their focus from “me-against-you” to “us-against-the-problem”
  6. A list of detailed scenarios in which processes are delineated to harness the liberated time and energy now available for productive ends

When designing and implementing your conflict risk management strategy, you’ll need to assess the entire business environment to determine the relevant factors and forces at work in the dispute. In other words, you’ll have to approach conflict and its causes in a holistic manner. One of your objectives will be to remove all contributing sources within your operating environment that feed the continuation and escalation of conflict while transforming the energy that is bound up by conflict into positive momentum toward productive business outcomes.

Managers will need to be equipped with conflict resolution skills that enable them to place organizational conflict resolution into the larger context of strategic business issues that require their attention.  Solutions need to be reality based and driven by project management disciplines that bring measurability and accountability for everyone involved in every resolution.

Next and final installment: “Effects of an Effective Conflict Risk Management Strategy”